← The Brainy Business | Understanding the Psychology of Why People Buy | Behavioral Economics
The Brainy Business | Understanding the Psychology of Why People Buy | Behavioral Economics
452. Embracing Negative Reviews: Behavioral Economics Insights
00:44:51
In this episode of The Brainy Business podcast, Melina Palmer dives into the topic of negative reviews and how to approach them with insights from behavioral economics. Melina shares personal anecdotes and expert insights, including a fascinating...
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- [00:00]
Melina Palmer
Hey there Melina. Here, I'm excited to share. I'm teaching two virtual courses in Applied Behavioral Economics which are enrolling now. Advanced concepts of Behavioral Economics and Internal Communication and Change management. So if you're interested, don't delay, learn more and enroll at HBL. Like Human BehaviorLab, TAMU like Texas A&M University. EDU. Again, that's HBL TAMU EDU. EDU and click on Certificate program when you're ready. Let's start the show. Welcome to episode 452 of the Brainy Business Understanding the Psychology of why People Buy. Today's episode is all about negative reviews and how to approach them with behavioral economics. Ready? Let's get started.
- [00:57]
You are listening to the Brainy Business Podcast where we dig into the psychology of why people buy and help you incorporate behavioral economics into your business, making it more brain friendly. Now, here's your host, Melina Palmer.
- [01:13]
Hello. Hello everyone. My name is Melina Palmer and I want to welcome you to the Brainy Business Podcast. Today's episode is all about those dreaded negative reviews. Hey, I get it. We've all been there. Negative reviews suck. It isn't good to be an ostrich and avoid them. And believe it or not, they can be helpful if you let them. If you're going to be out in the world these days, you have to know that you won't be everyone's cup of tea. I mean, even tea gets loads of negative reviews for a reframe. If you aren't getting any negative reviews, you aren't doing enough to differentiate and stand out. So in many ways, negative reviews can mean people are noticing you and paid attention long enough to form an opinion that they felt the need to share about. You got them to notice and feel something. And in today's world of limited attention, that's really saying something. Sure, you may be thinking that is the world's thinnest silver lining, but it isn't the only one you're going to hear about today as we talk about negative reviews and how you can best approach them through the lens of behavioral economics. And this episode originally aired back in the summer of 2021, right after my first book released. So you'll hear me talking a bit about that and know that I've kept going, right? I've done more books and podcast episodes and you know, TEDx and things like that. Now don't forget there are links for my top related past episodes and books waiting for you in the show. Notes for this episode, which are found within the app you're listening to and@thebrainybusiness.com 452 alright, let's talk about negative reviews and what to do about them.
- [03:02]
Kurt Nelson
On May 12, 2021, the day after my book came out, I received an email with a subject line that caught my attention. It was from my friend Kurt Nelson of the Behavioral Grooves podcast. And there in my inbox was the subject of hoping you get a 4.7 star review rating. I'm guessing your initial response was one of curiosity and intrigue like I had, which encouraged me to open that email right away. It's almost like Kurt knows something about this behavior stuff. So here's what I found when I opened the email. I'm just going to read the whole thing to you Melina. Hope you're doing well and that day one of your book launch was super successful. As part of that, I thought you might find the following quote from our interview with Bob Cialdini yesterday insightful and one where you won't lose sleep if you get a bad rating on Amazon. In fact, there's a sweet spot range of stars that produces the greatest conversions from prospect to purchaser online. It's between 4.2 and 4.7. Below 4.2 people start wondering about the competence and the features and the qualities of what you're offering. Above 4.7 they start wondering about the trustworthiness of the information and that there are people being paid to write those views, you know, and that as a result will cause them to be likely to say this might be too good to be true and step back from it. But inside 4.2 to 4.7, that's your sweet spot. So here's to you getting a 4.7 rating. Thanks Kurt, and of course Dr. Cialdini for this helpful insight. I have of course linked to my own interview with Bob Cialdini here on the show and the one on Behavioral Grooves where he talks about this research within the show notes and while I am by no means asking anyone to leave me reviews below 5 stars to help it feel more believable, it does help to ease the pain of a less than perfect rating when it does come in. This leads us to my first piece of advice around negative reviews and how they impact your brain. It's important to accept that they're coming and just wrap your head around that fact. Getting a negative review or 10 or however many there are can't be the end of the world. I've been half joking since before my book came out about how I know the trolls are coming and that I won't let it get to me. My always wise husband provided some additional reframing of the situation that has helped me keep this in perspective as well, he said. Isn't that just the greatest thing when writing a book though? Someone who didn't know enough about you in the first place, heard about your book and was inspired enough to purchase it, and then them not liking it is essentially a testament to the reach of the book that it's spreading the word about me and my work beyond where I've already been, hopefully. Of course, there are many positive reviews to outweigh the negative ones that trickle in, but those less than perfect ratings can still feel like a dagger to the heart, can't they? Here's a little test. If you read your reviews, I want you to try and recount right now some of the five star ones that you've gotten over the years. What are the amazing things people have said about you? Do you remember specifics or are they more generic and blurred together? Who said them? Where are they from now? What about those negative ones? Can you remember essentially verbatim what someone said about you? Do you have a very snarky tone in your head when you recount it? If you don't have public negative reviews with star ratings, what about reviews at work or constructive criticism from co workers, friends or family members? Do you remember those with crippling accuracy that still hurts, even if they were possibly said years ago, maybe even after you forced someone to give you the negative feedback? I still remember from my first review at the credit union, which was right around 10 years ago now, my boss telling me that everyone had great things to say, though I of course don't remember the specifics of anyone who was named or exactly what they said and that she had to go around and beg people to give something negative to say about me. Many declined, but then someone was finally willing to give her an area for opportunity or improvement, which she then shared with me. There should of course be some comfort in knowing that she had to pull the opportunity to improve out of someone. And it helps a little. But I still remember exactly who said it and what they said about me to this day. We worked well together over the years and always had a friendly relationship, but I never forgot it. So the question is why? Why do we feel these so much more and why do they stick with us differently? Why is their weight heavier than those positive reviews? There are a couple of items at play here and I'm going to touch on each of them in turn, you've got our natural herding instincts and social proof, as well as the focusing illusion and fundamental attribution error, as well as some cognitive dissonance thrown in there. Let's start with Herding and Social Proof. The reason we even look at or have influence from reviews and testimonials and star ratings, also known as social proof, is because of our natural tendency to herd. These have value for businesses because they help people, especially those who are unsure or making a choice for the first time. As Dr. Cialdini mentioned when I had him as a guest on the Brainy Business, talking about the expanded edition of his book Influence, when people are unsure about what to do, they're even more likely to look at what others like them are doing to influence their choices. This is where that social proof comes in to satisfy our herding instinct. So that's why someone on the buying side uses social proof to help make their decision. But what does that have to do with our reaction as the person receiving the review about our work, product or service? It's because we feel safe within the herd, putting ourselves out there and doing something different than anyone else, like writing a book or creating any sort of content, products, services, businesses, or being reviewed on our performance. When we're told we didn't meet an expectation, it triggers that herding brain to realize we might be on the periphery where it isn't necessarily safe. We don't want to become an outcast of the greater group, even if we like the idea of standing out and being different in general. We want to be celebrated for our differences and have to walk that line so we aren't shamed for them. In a few weeks on episode 172, Prince Gumin and I will discuss why we like what we like and this balance between new and safe. And do note it will be retroactively linked if you listen after the fact. And if it hasn't come out yet.
- [10:03]
Melina Palmer
You can make note to make sure.
- [10:04]
Kurt Nelson
To tune in when it does come out. This idea is very similar to what I discussed on the behavioral economics of Disney and their great balance between nostalgia and novelty. Negative reviews are triggering for our herding instincts and make the subconscious get scared of what could happen if we get too many more of those in the future. This is also a likely reason why the focusing illusion lasers in on the negative reviews. As a quick reminder, Daniel Kahneman, author of Thinking Fast and Slow and Nobel Laureate for his groundbreaking work in behavioral economics, has been quoted as saying that nothing in life is as important as you think it is while you're thinking about it. When we're thinking about or focusing on things, they feel much more important than they likely are. As an example, you were perfectly ready to clean out your closet and get rid of all the things you haven't worn in years and decided to go through everything one at a time just to be sure. With each sweater you hold in your hand, you find yourself saying, well, I know I haven't worn it in years, but it was always one of my favorites and I don't have any other brown options. I just got those new boots that would go great with it and I don't want to buy another brown sweater later because I have this one. So I'll hold on to it for one more season and if I don't wear it, I can get rid of it then. Sound familiar? There is of course some loss aversion in that sweater example, but focusing on it made your brain start thinking about all the reasons why you shouldn't give it up, Reading or otherwise Looking at negative reviews makes us focus on them more than the positive ones because of those herding instincts. We want to remain part of the herd, and when there's a threat to that by reading something harsh someone posted about us, we'll weigh it very heavily and focus on it more than the good stuff. As a tip, taking the time to pull those five star reviews and turn them into testimonials or little poll quotes that you can put on social media. Really calling attention to them so that you can feel their weight and how many of them there really are. Celebrating them can kind of help to balance this out so you don't forget about the good ones and let them blur together. There's a lot of value there. Soak those up, really internalize and love them so that the negative reviews don't feel so harsh. Another reason we have a hard time with negative reviews is because in general people tend to be nice to others faces as well. So we're used to getting compliments that may or may not be real. We may suspect they don't fully mean it, but we don't have to hear it. Seeing it there in black and white, knowing that someone disliked something about us or our brand, product, service, whatever, that they were motivated enough to take the time to write it and immortalize it on the Internet, that hurts. We're pretty sure they mean it or meant it in the moment, and we tend to read the worst into it. That being said, you may now feel inclined to make up a story about that person that helps you feel better about the thing they said to resolve some of the cognitive dissonance in your brain. I mentioned cognitive dissonance in the episode on confirmation bias and it's going to have its own episode soon. But in essence, we have a perception about ourselves and the type of person we are. Honest, ethical, good at what we do. When we're confronted with information that threatens that perspective, our brains really don't like it. We want to resolve that dissonance. And instead of going straight to evaluating if your long held perception of yourself is wrong, it's much easier for the brain to explain away why that person saying the thing that goes against our existing belief is the incorrect one. A tool we may use to do this is fundamental attribution error. This is where we give ourselves the benefit of an internal story and only look at external circumstances to explain someone else's choices or behavior. The easiest explanation of this is when someone cuts you off in traffic and you instantly label them as a jerk. They're a terrible person forever in your mind, a complete idiot, selfish, one of the worst people around. But what about when you cut someone off in traffic? Do you label yourself the same way? More than likely, you give yourself the benefit of the doubt. You were about to miss your exit and can't afford to be late. You were just distracted after an argument you had at home, or concerned about your mother in the hospital. It's really easy to resolve that cognitive dissonance in your brain and reinforce that you're a good person who was a victim of something else going on. You can write that story all day long. Now here's a quick warning. You aren't going to like this next thing I have to say, but I want you to try and hear it, okay? Even though you don't like it, there is probably some kernel of truth in the negative thing someone had to say about you or your brand. I know, I don't like it either, and it's hard to accept each time. But what if you found a reframe and looked for the learning opportunity in a negative review? What if you tried to overcome your own fundamental attribution error, recognizing that you aren't a three dimensional person living in a two dimensional world and gave that other person the benefit of the doubt a little quicker while not explaining everything away as a jerk who's probably just a troll? To be fair, there are trolls out there that are more likely to say harsh stuff about others online just to be mean. They exist. But that isn't everyone out there. They're a small portion of the market. So if you assume that person is not a troll, just a regular person like you, who had a moment of experiencing something that let them down from what they were expecting from your brand, how might you make things better for the next person? How could that be an opportunity? Take a moment now to make some notes on that. If you're able to pause and write some down, great. Or if it's just mental notes, that's fine too. Just think about it for a second. Here are the main categories of what you can expect for the rest of the episode. Don't ostrich. Not everyone is your customer, and that's okay. You don't have to apologize. You need to know your brand and have a plan to overcome the hot, cold gap. All right, let's break these down one by one. First, don't ostrich. It may be tempting to avoid reading the reviews because they can be painful, but not knowing what people are saying doesn't make it so they don't feel that way. It's like not wanting to go to the doctor to have a biopsy of that suspicious mole, because until you go, you don't have to come to terms with it possibly being cancer. Not knowing doesn't mean you don't have cancer, and it's potentially getting worse the longer you avoid it. And if it isn't cancer, you could reduce the stress and anxiety that's spinning around in your brain, even though you refuse to acknowledge it. If you would just go to the doctor with reviews. This isn't Schrodinger's brand, where it's both good and bad. Until you open the proverbial review box, people are talking about you, whether you know what they're saying or not. We can just be thankful that the Internet has given us an opportunity to hear what's out there and address it if needed. Another reframing technique. Now, this doesn't mean that you personally have to be the one to read the reviews. If the emotion would be too much and it puts you into a funk to go read the negative comments on Twitter or Yelp or whatever. It probably isn't helpful to see them in all their gory details. Instead, delegate. You can have a team member who's responsible for going in and reviewing and responding to reviews on behalf of you and the overall brand. And when there's a theme that needs to be brought to the team's attention, they can soften that a little and say, we've gotten a few responses about this and this is what our plan is to address it, or we need a plan, whatever that is, to help moving forward. And speaking of responding, this gets to one of those questions that prompted the episode itself. Should you respond at all? In general, yes, you should respond to all the comments you get, both good and bad. And tempting as it may be, don't delete negative comments. That almost never works out well and people will come back more angry than they were in the first place. Respond thoughtfully and kindly and try to keep an open mind. Remember that fundamental attribution error if you give this person the benefit of the doubt and assume they're a good person who was disappointed in something that's very possibly true even if you don't want it to be. How can you use this as an opportunity to learn more about a gap you may have in your processes? Consider the peak end rule and surprise and delight. This may feel like the end that someone's so angry and upset there's nothing you can do to bring them back, so it's a waste of time to even think about or acknowledge they're too far gone. But in general that's not the case. If you check regularly so you're able to respond quickly, it's more likely to have a positive reaction for everyone. This means you need to resist the urge to say something snarky in response to them as much as you might want to. And remember, there's no rule that says you need to respond in the same tone you're reading in the review or negative comment. This is that whole you attract more flies with honey philosophy. And because people aren't often expecting any response, let alone a kind and open minded one, you'll be surprised at how many people you can bring back around to your side with a well thought out response. And yes, I do this constantly in my business and will share examples throughout the rest of the episode. Just like anyone, I have people send me emails or messages on social media bringing something they don't like or that didn't meet their expectations to my attention. Often these are worded in a way that feels very harsh and it's easy to read it in my head with a very snarky tone of voice, just like I'm sure you do. One example was a weird glitch that was happening with my emails a while back. The triggers were off and it was somehow sending emails three or more times in a row. So people were getting a ridiculous amount of emails from the brainy business right after joining the list. Definitely not the first impression I was wanting with my company Now, I don't know how long this was happening before there was a response that got to me, letting me know it was an issue. And one of those messages said something to the effect of obviously you don't practice what you preach or understand the brain, as I've gotten 11 emails from you in the last three days, unsubscribe. My brain's initial reaction was to be annoyed both with the situation and this feedback you want to say really, you know, it seems obvious it was a technical glitch and it's a time where you believe people should give the benefit of the doubt. There's that fundamental attribution error again. Instead of responding in kind with what I read to be a snarky tone, I tried to think of how frustrating an experience like that would be if I was on the other side. No one wants to feel like they're being spammed, and this person didn't necessarily.
- [22:01]
Melina Palmer
Read every single email.
- [22:02]
Kurt Nelson
I don't know if they came within seconds of each other or if it was more like a few hours. And it doesn't matter. They were disappointed in the experience and I get that they've brought it to my attention and it's now my job to fix it and to let them know that I'm doing something based on their effort. So responding in a kind way instead of in kind is very beneficial Here. I sent something back to the effect of thank you so much for bringing this to my attention. I assure you that was not the intent of the email system. The team and I are looking into what may have happened to ensure this is fixed as quickly as possible. I appreciate you taking the time to let me know and hope you have a wonderful rest of your day. There is an option there, of course, to encourage them to stay on the list or to come back, but that can sometimes go awry and make someone more upset than they were to begin with. Instead of if you just thank them and they know they have the option to come back if they so choose. This also lends to the not everyone is your customer point, which is coming up in a second, so I'm going to put a pin in that. It's best to respond to the person wherever they posted to begin with. So if this was in a public space, say Twitter or Facebook or something like that, then respond to their comment there. In the worst case scenario, others who may see it can know that your brand is kind and that you listen to feedback from your customers. If this came to you in a direct message or email that isn't public facing still respond and know that someone can always take a screenshot and share publicly what you said in a private forum. So use a tone you would be okay with having out in the world for all to see. I know that sometimes given privacy laws, regulatory stuff, things like that, you can't always respond in the public forum to the and address the the entire situation. So it may feel like you just want to send them an email, reach out separately and just kind of let it sit there or again delete the comment. Which, like we said, don't do. So if someone posts publicly and you can't do the full response, there still do a simple one, even if it's just to say something like thank you for letting us know. For privacy purposes, we can't discuss this over Facebook, but a representative will be calling you shortly to see how we can help resolve the issue or something along those lines. Again, you want and need that public acknowledgement for all the future people who see that negative comment, regardless of your brand. And if you could address, say the comment or review on Twitter.
- [24:38]
Melina Palmer
It's really difficult to do that in.
- [24:40]
Kurt Nelson
A tweet, say with all those character limits. And so it is okay to move to the DMs but still respond to the tweet publicly to say you're doing that again. For them and all the other customers who will see it later to show your timeliness and attentiveness, this is an opportunity for your brand to shine. Think about all the steps down the way someone might see this a year from now, and you want them to know that you responded quickly and that you at least made an effort to help.
- [25:13]
Melina Palmer
I have plenty of other examples of.
- [25:15]
Kurt Nelson
Using this technique in my business. Don't worry, I won't share them all here, but one example that's particularly fitting is from Instagram. I've mentioned this a few times on the show, but for whatever reason, I really don't like doing Instagram stories. It's something I've gotten more used to in general. I know it's good for my business, and now every platform, it seems, has these live options and stories, so it's something to suck up and just do. But anyway, a while back I set myself a challenge to do an Instagram story every day for a month or 90 days or something to see how it might impact my business. I was very apprehensive about it and sensitive because, as I said, it already made me pretty uncomfortable. Within the first week, I got a direct message from someone I had never corresponded with before who was a fan of the show and had some feedback on my use of stories. This person wanted to let me know that this was a bad tactic and that I didn't need to resort to this sort of thing and their general disappointment with what I was doing. It hurt and of course I was upset. After taking a little bit of time to have maybe a bit of a pity party, I crafted a response. Upon calming down, I hoped that I might be reading more into this person's response than what they intended and said something to the effect of thank you for being a listener of the Brainy Business podcast and for following me here on Instagram. I appreciate you taking the time to let me know how this shift in approach feels out of alignment to you and will keep it in mind when evaluating the effectiveness of this tactic. Doing an Instagram story each day is something I'm testing for the next 30 days and I hope you'll stick with me through that point when I determine if it's a long term strategy or not. Thank you again for listening and have a great rest of your day. The response was something I don't think I'll ever forget. He said something like wow, thank you so much for your kind response and I'm sorry if my tone or word choice was a bit harsh. You've taught me something about the way to craft my own responses in the future, so thank you for that. There was more to it, including sticking with the brainy business through this, but hopefully you get the point. In my opinion, this perfectly addresses the hurting, focusing illusion, fundamental attribution error, cognitive dissonance stuff I dug into at the beginning of the episode. Treating this person as a human who deserves kindness triggered some reciprocity and encouraged them to act in kind and as far as I know, keep listening and following me and likely have a story for the future about the type of person I am for other correspondence, or if anyone else ever says something less than positive about me or the Brainy business. This type of response can turn even some of the harshest critics into your advocates. It doesn't work on everyone every single time. Sometimes people will truly leave or double down on how much they dislike you, and that's just something to accept. But if you're able to turn some of those negatives into positives and at the very least know that you did what you could and learned from the experience, it's still a win in my book. And now that leads us to the next point that not everyone is your customer. And that's okay. Some People will not like you and what you create. They may not like your opinion or the style of writing for your content. Or maybe they don't like the tone of your voice or think your product or service is useless and a waste of time. Don't waste your time trying to convert these people to be your customers or advocates. It isn't worth it. There are so many people out there who you can or will resonate with. Focus on them. It will make you happier in the process, I promise. And turning someone who's going to complain at every turn into a customer is just creating an uphill battle for you and your team. Remember the 8020 rule. 20% of your customers generate 80% of your revenue. These are your big advocates who get it and just love you and what you have to offer. Get more of those. Conversely, 20% of your other customers are generating 80% of the work complaints and problems. Spending lots of hours and resources and stress trying to make those people a little happier is a misuse of your time and team. How much time and mental energy would be freed up to focus on getting more of the best type of customers who create 80% of the revenue? If you let one of those not your customers go work smarter, not harder. And to use a possibly silly example to relate this to, consider that there are some people out there that don't like chocolate. Maybe that's you, but I would say at least, you know, 80% of the population probably really likes chocolate. And so if you know that there's 20% that super love chocolate and you can have them buy lots and lots more because it's their favorite thing and they're always going to be big chocolate advocates, it's easy to sell them more chocolate because they love it. If you were to then focus on the 20% of people who say they hate chocolate and you want to force and turn them into people who will buy some chocolate to become a customer, it's a real uphill battle. A lot, a lot of work for a very small potential gain and it's just not worth the time. They're never going to be a chocolate customer and that's okay. Focus on those who are the chocoholics that love it. This is also why it's really important to know what you're about, who you're for, and why you do the things you do before you're confronted with negative reviews. That addresses one of those things. Some items are part of your core brand and someone who doesn't like them or agree with them and may want to complain about them simply isn't your customer. And that's okay. You can still respond kindly, but knowing why you do something that gets defined when you're in a cold state makes it much easier to keep your cool when you respond in that hot state of the negative review staring you in the face. As an example, the first negative review that ever came in for the podcast was about how they could tell the host, me, was using a script and so they didn't want to listen and found it boring. On the flip side, I get a lot of compliments from people who praise that they can tell there's a script because they know it means the show is well researched and there's a lot of work that goes into every episode, and I get feedback from many others who are shocked when I tell them that I use a script because they can't tell. Upon launching the podcast, I had an intention to be more freestyle. That's how I do my public speaking engagements and consulting and things like that. But with so many concepts and citations and stats, it becomes rambly when there isn't a script and I don't like the quality of what's coming out. It takes me much more work to write out a script, but I believe it's a superior product for the show and those who are my customer, people who love and support me and the show appreciate that. Some people like this individual don't, but I know this is not something I'm willing to change. It's central to the strategy of the show so I can respect his opinion, bless and release it, and move on. At least mostly. I mean, it was over two years ago now and I still remember it without having to go back and look it up. But it also doesn't run my life and it doesn't make me feel like I have to go think about if it's time to go change my tactics because I know what's important to me and the brand. On the other side, there was a span of time in the first six months to a year of the show where the intros and outros got quite long. I had seen other shows doing it and thought people might like that extra stuff at the beginning of the end of their podcasts. These were getting to be 10 to 15 minutes long sometimes, and I had multiple people let me know it was too much that they would often skip through that part to get to the meat of the episode. So I adjusted. You may notice now that the intro and outro of the show are around three minutes. That's based on feedback from people who were ideal clients, which I could have ignored but took to heart. The lesson, again, is to know your customer and identify what matters to your brand when you're in a cold state so you can know what to take to heart and change and what can be heard and let go of without having to constantly address your strategy. In this next section, I want to call attention to the examples of my responses shared throughout the episode. You may or may not have noticed that I never apologized or talked about a policy or anything like that. There are some times where it makes sense to say you're sorry, of course, but in general you don't need to and actually shouldn't. Using that example of the negative review saying they don't like that I use a script, there's no reason to apologize for using one. I'm not sorry that I use a script, and I should not say that I am. This is a strategic choice of the company and I own that. Saying I was sorry about it would likely feel disingenuous and not help anyone and can actually make the person on the other side feel like I'm placating to them. For many, it takes practice to not use the word sorry. I get it. I'm a people pleaser in many ways and I had to train myself out of this too. One thing you can do is, as I said there, take a step back and say, should we be sorry for this or is this something we're proud of? Saying I'm so sorry that you could tell I was using a script. I'll try to be better in the future doesn't do anyone any favors and could actually make the people who I'm trying to appeal to, those who like that I use a script, be disappointed to see it and possibly stop listening because they're worried it's going to change. Keep the big picture in mind and know that more often than not, apologizing when responding to reviews will do more harm than good. That being said, you can absolutely acknowledge their feelings, but you don't have to say sorry to do that. One of the phrases I use often for brands I've been responsible for is to say that sounds frustrating. For example, when someone has experienced a flight delay, have you ever been stuck for hours at the airport when your flight is delayed? I have. It sucks. It's tedious and uncomfortable and not something anyone wants to endure. When that person was calling the customer care department to get their travel voucher, it was my job to listen to the story and determine how much they would receive. We did have a guide for how much each delay was worth, like how insurance companies have dollar amounts on different parts of your body if you get injured and a pinky finger is worth less than a thumb or whatever it is. So say a two hour delay was worth 25 or $50. If you've ever sat through a two hour delay at the airport, you know you feel much more than $25 worth of pain and then waiting on hold to get to me, it's frustrating. So I know that this experience is unpleasant and I had a lot of these calls every single day. But often the circumstances something that's outside the airline's control, like a weather delay saying oh I'm so sorry, isn't that just the worst? Unfortunately, I can only give you $25 because that's all the airline will let me. It's not going to help the airline for the future or help that customer feel valued. It's a recipe for disappointment all around. Instead, genuinely listening to what happened and giving them the time to explain is a big part of reducing that tension. And then saying something like that does sound frustrating. Thank you for sharing the experience with me can help them to feel validated without using the words I'm sorry. All right, we've made it to the last tip of the episode, which is about knowing your brand. This is very closely related to the rest of this section, but I want to note one specific thing here. When you identify what matters to you and your company in that cold state, it's also important to know about your brand voice. For example, you might have noticed that I end a lot of my messages with something like have a great weekend or something along those lines. It's my personal style to do that, and I do it in most of my emails and other correspondence because the brainy business is an extension of me in many ways. That's also built into the brand. It's not a fit for everyone, so don't force it for you or your brand if it feels way out of alignment. And I also said early on in the episode to not be snarky when responding to people, even though you may feel like you want to. The caveat to that is if you have a snarky brand to begin with. There are a lot of Twitter accounts out there from big global brands and some smaller ones that people enjoy the snarky comments from and engage with or follow to see what sort of things they're going to say in the future. Some top ones that come to mind are Burger King, Wendy's Chipotle, various comedians, sometimes Netflix, and many others. There are some brands that lend themselves to being snarky, like Sour Patch Kids. If they wanted to go full on sarcasm, it would likely be embraced as part of the novelty that's associated with sourness, while if Disney or Barbie decided to have a mean public Persona, it would likely backfire pretty quickly. For most brands, it's best to be respectful and kind in your correspondence with customers and others in public and in private. However, if you're building a brand Persona that's flippant, you can embrace that again. You just need to do that evaluation in advance and be very clear about how it ties to your brand voice, where the line is, what your message is about, your goals, and all that stuff. Sprinkling in random snarky comments when you're feeling annoyed will not have the same effect. All right, I had so much more to say on this topic than I expected. It was also kind of fun to realize how early experiences can formulate how we do things many years later. For example, with my work at the airline call center that started When I was 18, I realized that I've been trained to professionally respond to angry people and negative comments for essentially my entire career. Anyway, here's the recap of what we talked about today. As you move forward with the confidence to respond to those negative reviews when they present themselves first, accept that they will happen. So do what you can to reframe your perception to see the opportunity in a negative review and know that it's okay to have someone else on the team in charge of it, but it's not okay to ostrich from them. Hating negative reviews is natural because of our hurting instincts, the focusing illusion, fundamental attribution error, and cognitive dissonance. But thankfully, understanding that can help you feel better about addressing them. Overcoming your instincts that might not be the best initial response and letting you give the reviewer the benefit of the doubt when crafting responses. In addition, you should respond to all responses as quickly as possible in the same way they were posted. No deleting. Also, know your brand, who your customer is, and develop a policy or plan for responding to negative reviews while you're in a cold state. This will help you know which reviews to do something about, which customers are worth putting in the extra effort for, and which to bless and release. And lastly, don't jump to apologizing. More often than not, it's not going to work out well.
- [41:10]
Melina Palmer
So what got your brain buzzing as you learned about negative reviews today? For me, whenever I think of negative reviews. I always think of my husband Aaron. Not because he gave me any negative reviews, thankfully, but as I said at the beginning of the episode in that reframe, that a negative review is more a sign that you've made it, and that my book or podcast or TedX or whatever it is has grown beyond my immediate network of people who feel obligated to be nice to me and someone who didn't know me at all and felt inclined enough to buy and read my book or check out that other content before leaving the negative review. So that reframe is something that has come from him. So I would say thank you. And while that type of a reframe can help, right, it helps to be in that positive mindset. But I also don't need to personally read everything that everyone has to say. So like so many other people out there, I don't really let myself get into the comments anymore. But someone on the team does look through them to see if there's ever anything we need to address. I don't need to get lost in the comments and feedback because it's far too easy to just read one more, one more, and just one more. I'm reminded of Nate on TED Lasso and how he loved seeing the positive comments and then was so crushed whenever he happened upon a negative one and took it out on everyone else around him. Yes, it's human nature to feel that way, but you can't use that as an excuse for your business to avoid the comments and reviews. You have to look for the opportunities they present to know what's really going on and what your brand's reputation really is. Because whether or not you hear it, people are still saying it. So it's better to know, even if it hurts a bit. Be thankful for the opportunity that someone let you know so you have a chance to fix it if there's something wrong, and to reinforce your own values and say no to a comment that someone has, which is also something worth celebrating if that's the right response. So if you've decided that your brand is one that is more expensive, it's high quality, and you have a scarce amount that you sell, that's great. And if someone gives a negative feedback, you know that you get a star rating or something that's low, and they say that they didn't like that it was sold out, you know that's actually kind of showing it's working. And while you wish they didn't give you a low star rating, you're not going to change your whole strategy because of that piece of feedback. But if someone was going to have a low rating because something broke, that is something you would want to fix in that quality aspect that upholds the brand. So you need to be able to distance a little bit and still align with your values. So as we close out the show, I wanted to let you know why I chose to refresh this one today. It's because of my guest who's joining me on the new episode this week, DJ Sprague, co author of Reputation King. We're going to be talking a lot about reviews and ratings in Social Proof, and it definitely felt like the perfect time to revisit this episode to get you primed and ready for that conversation. If you haven't already subscribed to the Brainy Business podcast, by the way, now is a great time to do so to ensure you don't miss that or any other episode. And finally, don't forget about those show notes with links to my top related past episodes, books and more. It's all waiting for you in the app you're listening to and@theraineybusiness.com 452. And just like that, episode 452 on negative reviews is done. Join me Friday for a brand new episode with DJ Sprague, author of Reputation King. It's going to be a lot of fun. You don't want to miss it. Until then. Thanks again for listening and learning with me. And remember to be thoughtful.
- [45:12]
Thank you for listening to the Brainy Business Podcast. Molina offers virtual strategy sessions, workshops and other services to help businesses be more brain friendly. For more free resources, visit thebrainybusiness.com.