The Brainy Business Podcast: "From Limiting Beliefs to Leadership Breakthroughs"

Episode 556 | Released: December 18, 2025
Host: Melina Palmer
Guest: Muriel Wilkins, executive coach and author of Leadership Unblocked

Episode Overview

This episode delves into how leaders’ hidden and limiting beliefs shape not only their leadership style but also their effectiveness. Host Melina Palmer welcomes executive coach and author Muriel Wilkins to discuss the seven core beliefs that commonly hold leaders back, the importance of self-awareness, and actionable strategies to break through these invisible barriers. The conversation is rich in practical examples and candid stories, offering business owners and leaders a guide to greater agency, ease, and self-coaching.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Recognizing the Real Challenge: Internal Narratives

[00:38 – 03:05]

• Melina introduces the core premise: Leadership challenges often stem not from others, but from the “story you’re telling yourself” about the situation.
• Muriel shares her path from aspiring executive to renowned coach, driven by her own struggles and a pivotal moment when her partner suggested, "Maybe the problem is you and not them."

  "What I have found is that we have way more in our control than we give ourselves credit for in terms of how we contribute to how we Experience, leadership. And the biggest piece that's in there is really your mindset, which is what my book is all about." — Muriel [05:38]

2. Moving from External Blame to Internal Agency

[03:33 – 08:37]

• Many leaders default to blaming external circumstances, but transformation begins with internal reflection and self-coaching.
• Muriel’s mission: Help leaders make their internal voice supportive, so they “coach themselves” out of unhelpful patterns.

  "My hope is that you get to a point where...you can be present enough to hear yourself say, hey, like, what part of this do you own and what can you do about it? Because I actually think that's where real agency comes from." — Muriel [07:04]

3. Differentiating Facts, Beliefs, and Barriers

[08:37 – 13:29]

• Muriel explains how facts (actual events) and beliefs (the “narration” or story overlaid on events) often get conflated.

• Beliefs are habitual, malleable, and can serve or hinder us:

  “Our beliefs are really like stories...they don't have to be there. They can pass, they can change. ...You have a choice right now around how you want to experience this and what narration you're giving the reality.” — Muriel [11:06]

• Melina adds with behavioral economics context: two people interpret the same data (like a boss looking at them) entirely differently based on underlying beliefs.

4. The Seven Hidden Leadership Blockers

[15:47 – 20:21]

Muriel outlines the seven most common limiting beliefs found in her coaching practice, which she profiles in her book:

1. I need to be involved (disempowering micromanagement, limits scaling)
2. I need it done now (creates urgency, toxic productivity, burnout)
3. I know I’m right (blocks delegation/learning, can appear abrasive)
4. I can’t make a mistake (perfectionism, delayed decisions)
5. If I can do it, so can you (undervalues others’ perspectives, limits empathy)
6. I can’t say no (overcommitment, risks burnout)
7. I don’t belong here (imposter syndrome, self-doubt, withdrawal)

"The seven that I name are not fully comprehensive...However, I would say that if you are feeling challenged in the way that you lead, there is a high probability that these might be one of the beliefs that's getting in your way." — Muriel [16:07]

5. Digging into "I Need to Be Involved"

[25:03 – 30:39]

• Typical external signs: needing to be cc’d on everything, “in all the meetings,” feeling triple-booked, trouble scaling teams or focusing on strategic priorities.
• Internal signs: ongoing restlessness, feeling unable to fulfill strategic potential.
• Muriel describes how this belief often originates from genuine need earlier in career (e.g., as an individual contributor), but stops serving you as responsibilities expand.
• The antidote is selective involvement:

  “I need to be involved in the things where I actually add value, where I add the most value, rather than I need to be involved, as a blanket statement.” — Muriel [29:38]

6. Tailoring the Fix: Self-Experimentation

[30:39 – 33:52]

• Muriel advocates for trying various self-awareness strategies, whether visual inventories, marbles in a jar, sitting quietly, or other tailored exercises.
• No single solution works for everyone; the key is to “hold it loosely” and pivot if a tactic isn’t helping.

"You may want to try something, but hold it loosely. If it doesn't work, it's okay, you know, try something different." — Muriel [32:19]

7. The Importance of Feedback and Context

[34:36 – 37:43]

• Muriel emphasizes checking self-perception against others’ perspectives to expose blind spots, but only acting if the outcome matters to you.

“Nobody is ready to change anything that they do until they care. ...So when his boss was, like, looking so frustrated, he was like, oh, shoot, right? My boss is not aligned with me." — Muriel [38:30]

• Sometimes the realization that others see you differently is the catalyst for change.

8. Universality & Normalization

[41:35 – 42:53]

• Leadership can feel isolating. Muriel assures listeners: “You are not that special”—meaning, you’re not alone. Most leaders wrestle with similar blocks, and acknowledging this can ease the shame and promote solutions.

“We actually are not alone. We might feel lonely because of how we're experiencing it, but we're not alone...” — Muriel [42:21]

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "If the belief you have is that I’m not worthy, I don’t belong at the table, I don’t know what I’m doing...the math ain’t mathing." — Muriel [13:29]
• “My job as a coach is to work myself out of a job.” — Muriel [07:37]
• “Try something as long as there was something else that was fulfilling that need. There doesn't have to be this one solution for everyone.” — Muriel [33:09]

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Intro & Main Theme: [00:38 – 03:05]
• Muriel’s Leadership Journey: [03:33 – 05:48]
• Facts vs. Beliefs: [08:37 – 13:29]
• Seven Blockers Overview: [15:47 – 20:21]
• Deep Dive: “I Need to Be Involved”: [25:03 – 30:39]
• Self-Experimentation in Mindset Shift: [31:32 – 33:52]
• Role of Feedback: [34:36 – 37:43]
• How Change Happens: [38:11 – 40:43]
• Normalization & Universality: [41:35 – 42:53]
• Resources and How to Connect: [43:08 – 43:28]

Resources & Guest Connections

• Muriel Wilkins: murielwilkins.com, LinkedIn, Instagram (@coachmurielwilkins)
• Book: Leadership Unblocked
• Host Melina Palmer: @thebrainybiz (social), thebrainybusiness.com/556 (show notes/resources)

Summary Takeaways

Muriel Wilkins and Melina Palmer deliver a thought-provoking, practical guide for examining and overcoming the seven most common limiting beliefs that subtly hold leaders back. Listeners are encouraged to examine which beliefs may have served them once but now require revision, to experiment with self-coaching tools and outside feedback, and above all, to recognize they are not alone. Ultimately, true leadership transformation starts with the stories we tell ourselves—and our willingness to challenge and update those narratives.