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DJ Envy
Life.
Charlamagne Tha God
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DJ Envy
Use only when safe and legal.
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DJ Envy
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DJ Envy
Or provide enhanced traction in all conditions.
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DJ Envy
Let's see.
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DJ Envy
Yeah.
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Pastor Mike Todd
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DJ Envy
The Breakfast Club.
Charlamagne Tha God
Morning, everybody. It's DJ Envy Charlemagne. The God we are the Breakfast Club. We got a special guest in the building. Yes, indeed we have Pastor Mike Todd.
DJ Envy
Welcome, brother. What's going on, fam? Y'all good?
Charlamagne Tha God
Yes, man.
DJ Envy
I'm blessed, man. I'm good. Good. I'm at the Breakfast Club with y'all.
Pastor Mike Todd
I'm blessed, black and highly favored.
DJ Envy
You are definitely black, blessed, and highly favored. It feels. I feel like all so blessed. Black and highly favored. Absolutely, absolutely feels good. Thank y'all for having me, man.
Pastor Mike Todd
Happy to have you, man. New book, Damaged but Not Destroyed from Trauma to Triumph.
DJ Envy
Yes, sir.
Pastor Mike Todd
Powerful title, bro.
DJ Envy
It's my life, okay? And it's honestly, I believe a lot of people's life that they don't share. You know, you see everybody, from people who've gone from the gutter to this big platform, or people who've just made it out of the hood or just made it from where they thought they would never come, but then they shut up and stop telling the actual story about how they got from where they were to where they are now.
Pastor Mike Todd
I have a theory about that.
DJ Envy
What is it?
Pastor Mike Todd
I think the theory now, like, I'm 45 years old.
DJ Envy
You look good.
Pastor Mike Todd
So growing. Thank you, brother. So growing up, you know, it was those stories of overcoming those stories of making mistakes and, you know, becoming a better person that we always gravitated towards, that we learned from nowadays because of this so called cancel culture. Yeah, nobody wants to talk about the mistakes that they made, you know, nobody. Because they feel like they'll be judged for them and crucified for them, which they probably will.
DJ Envy
But it's temporary. Like, the truth of the matter is, because I'm a person of faith, I believe the truth of the matter is we overcome by the blood of the Lamb. That's what Christ has done. But the words of our own testimony, even if you don't believe what I believe, the truth is when you see somebody else go through something and you make it through it, it gives you courage, it gives you hope, it gives you. Dang, maybe I can do that, too. And a lot of people are robbing other people of the fuel that they need to overcome their actual situation because they scared, number one. And number two is because they feel like maybe my worst moment defined me, but I found that in my worst moment, that's who. That's what made me. And so I just wanted to come, like, completely clean, completely raw. I say hot, humble, open, and transparent. And, I mean, it takes also the power out of what anybody can ever say about me.
Pastor Mike Todd
I used to. I know. I believe you. I agree with everything you say. I always say, live your truth so nobody can use your truth against you. But, boy, they will try.
DJ Envy
They'll try. The truth of the matter is. But if it's real, like, when you cut it open and it's real, and you actually grew from it, and you actually learned from the cheating, and you actually did the work and went to therapy, and you actually. Yeah, no, I did embezzle that money, but I'm not gonna do that never again. And I'm like, when you actually grow. I believe that this life is about progression, not perfection. And on the gram and in front of people, we're always trying to present perfection. But I really believe, like, when you cut it all down, it's one baby step in front of another baby step in front of another baby step. And you look up and like, how did I get here? It was a bunch of small moments that got you to that moment.
Charlamagne Tha God
You say that, but then I don't think people necessarily care about that.
DJ Envy
Right.
Charlamagne Tha God
Cause let's take one of the biggest things I think people have been talking about in the last week, right? Jada Pinkett Smith's book, Right? People have been talking about how she's so foul on Will and how she did this and how. But we always talk about tell your truth, right?
DJ Envy
Yeah.
Charlamagne Tha God
Good, bad, or indifferent, we don't know what happened in their relationship.
DJ Envy
I have no idea.
Charlamagne Tha God
The way your marriage is, the way my marriage is, the way his marriage is, it's not the way their marriage might be. So we don't know. But people have been killing them and killing their relationship based off things that we don't know when she was just sharing her truth, because please believe. I'm sure there's somebody out there that's living a life just like them and now feels comfortable being able to talk.
DJ Envy
About it because she was able to talk about it. But those are moments like, think about what y'all talked about a year ago compared to what y'all talk about today compared to what you're gonna talk about next month. The truth of the matter is in the culture that we, the feedback culture that we live in right now, everybody's just trying to say what's gonna get them a happy Meal off of the YouTube cl. Like that's what everybody's trying to say right now. But the truth of the matter is the person that is in the situation that's in the fire, is that fire actually purifying something out of you? Is that fire actually making you into something? Fire is not bad. It actually purifies the real. And so most people, every piece of gold and jewelry had to be put against fire. The problem is when it's not authentically who you are, when it's not really what's in you, that stuff gets melted away. And that's where people get exposed. That's where people like they, I was all about this and I all about this. When fire hit, it shows like that's not what you was really about. And so for me, I just think that too many people, especially black, especially black people, we do not face the damage that we went through. We run from it, we go away from it. We try to Gucci Louie it down, we try to get out of the neighborhood, we try to. But the truth of the matter is we're running from an insecurity at 15.
Pastor Mike Todd
Putting K Geyson on dog shit. That's what I like to say.
DJ Envy
That I wouldn't say it like that, but because you said it like that, I'm a go say amen. You know what I'm saying? But the truth of the matter is we're hoping people don't actually find out what it really is. And we're about to go into Thanksgiving, people going back to families they hate, we're going back into Christmas, people about to buy expensive stuff and go into debt for children that they don't know, but they keep Jordan up, right? Like just think about all the things like these kids don't even know who they real daddy is or who their actual family is. But instead of facing it, instead of going to counseling with our kids, instead of just saying I'm sorry, like we just gon keep moving on up. We going to keep buying new cars, we going keep getting new wigs. And I'm like, yo, something has to change. We have to deal with our damage. And I believe that God loves damaged people. Like you can't find nobody in the Bible, nobody in faith that wasn't jacked up. But God does his best work with damaged people. If you would just admit, I'm damaged.
Charlamagne Tha God
How important is a support system? Right? Because you came with your wife. Charlamagne's been with his wife 25. I've been with my wife 30. How important is that? Because a lot of times you hear people say, I don't need that, or, I'm looking for a guy that's gonna make this much money. But they never talk about the heart.
DJ Envy
The truth of the matter is, you say, that's dumb. Yeah.
Pastor Mike Todd
Thank you for that. Say that louder.
DJ Envy
It's dumb. Like, I tell people all the time. I did a book. My first book was called Relationship Goals. And I have this whole chapter in the book about, rip up your list. And I know people are gonna say whatever they gonna say about they got this list. You're still single. The truth of the matter is like, the truth of is is a lot of times God never hands you a finished product. He hands you something, you got to work, right? And. And that's why Ikea is one of the greatest furniture companies, no matter what you think about it, is they. They give you something that you have to put your hands to to assemble. And it gives people another greater level of satisfaction because when they actually put their hands in to help make that thing happen, it feels like I've accomplished something. Relationship is the same way. God never td. Jake says it. God never gives you a table. He gives you a tree.
Pastor Mike Todd
That's right.
DJ Envy
The same thing with the relationship. Think many times people need to rip up their list and actually look for the things that are in the heart. You can't Instagram integrity. You can't Facebook faithfulness. Right? Like. And so look at my man. He da da da. The greatest things that have made me and my wife's relationship work, I cannot show you on a post. It has to be lived out, proved out, and over time. And so when you say support system, bro, that's what. But that is literally the only reason I'm here right now is because I got people who could see me at my worst and still think of me in my best situation. To still, like, while it still smells like that word that you said just a second ago. They still walking with me. And like, I'll actually. I'll be with you because I know it's not going to be like this the whole time. I tell people, community is everything. Having mentors is everything. Being around people that are further than you is everything. And if you're gonna deal with your damage, you need that. Cause a lot of people do it in isolation and Covid has really jacked up people. And when I say that, I'm not even talking from a health standpoint physically. I'm talking about a mental health standpoint, a spiritual health standpoint, a relational health standpoint. People went into their caves and started spectating on what everybody was doing, and it made them look out instead of look in. Right.
Pastor Mike Todd
I agree with that. But I also feel like during COVID a lot of people had to stop and see themselves for the. The first time.
DJ Envy
Yeah.
Pastor Mike Todd
And they didn't like what they saw.
DJ Envy
But then we went back outside. So it's. It's one thing to see it. It's another thing to deal with it. It's one thing to see it, and it's another thing. I mean, vacations or travel is gone up like a thousand percent because people are trying to escape.
Pastor Mike Todd
They running from themselves.
DJ Envy
They running from themselves. And the only person you cannot finesse is you.
Pastor Mike Todd
That's right.
Charlamagne Tha God
Or the significant other. A lot of people in CO realize they didn't like their partner.
DJ Envy
They hated them.
Charlamagne Tha God
They hated their partner. Cause, you know, usually you think about it, you know, you work for eight, nine hours a day. You come home for a couple hours. You only really seeing your partner for a couple hours.
DJ Envy
But Covid exposed everybody. And this is where I think for most of us, it's time to take our trauma and know that our trauma can go to triumph. Every horrible thing that ever happened to me, every trashy thing I did to myself, when I brought that to counseling, to my community, to Christ, it was like, oh, yeah, we could package that. We can move that. We could cut that off. Oh, you needed to learn that. And then it became the pain that built the platform. And I'm just trying to go first, especially in somebody who does what I do. As a pastor, a leader, we usually stand on a platform and tell everybody, you know, you need to work on this. You can do this. And I was like, yeah, I'm gonna take a different approach. I'm gonna go do it first. I'm gonna go to intensive therapy. Me and my wife gonna fly to Colorado for a whole year every month and spend five days in counseling for five hours. We're gonna. We're going. We're gonna work.
Pastor Mike Todd
Work.
DJ Envy
Oh. Because what's not transformed is transferred. Everybody leaving an inheritance for their kids of money and cars, but they're leaving poor spiritual, emotional, and mental health. So what happens when you give a kid who's never been seen, who's never actually known their identity, and who has no self Worth a million dollars. What do you think they gonna do? They gonna buy friends? They're gonna go out here and try to numb because they don't wanna feel like. I just think that we could do it better. I'm not saying be broke. I'm saying be rich everywhere.
Pastor Mike Todd
What was your breakthrough moment that inspired you to be so vulnerable in this book, bro?
DJ Envy
I have a son, our second son. His name is mj. My namesake, he has autism. And me and my wife, we're going through the height of our ministry and our businesses growing, and everything's exploding. My first book goes number one New York Times bestseller. I barely graduated English class. Like, I'm. I'm in a shock. And then our only son, we take him to the doctor, and they're like, yeah, he's not progressing normally. He's not. He's not talking. He's not looking anymore. And he was going the right way, and then just something switched. And my motor has always been, let me be greater, let me be better. Let me make more money. Let me do this. And. And I tried to do everything I knew how to do, and it didn't fix nothing. Getting a bigger platform, writing another book, making more money. It didn't do anything. And so when my motor broke, it was like, what's going on? I'm watching my wife slip into depression. Nothing is working. And so I was like, hold on, we gotta start working on this. I was sitting with my mentor, Tim Ross, at a Crackle Barrel outside of Oklahoma City, and I was just telling him what I was going through, and we started thinking about back over my life. And he said, yep. He's like, yeah, when did God's standard become lower than your standard? And I was like, what are you talking about? He was like, michael, you've been telling me all this stuff. You want to make better and you want it to be great. You keep using this word, great, great, great, great. He said, but in the beginning, when God created the heavens and the earth, he looked at it and he said, it's good. And then he created the stars, and he created the land and said, you go right here. You go right here. Created the animals, going through the whole creation. He said, it's good. Then he created man on the sixth day, and he said, you know what? That's very good. He said, if God's standard is good, why is yours great? And then he asked me this question. He said, when did you make a decision that good was not good enough? And immediately I went back to 12 years old when I'M in church. My parents raised us in church. And I played drums since I was young. And I would go at 12 years old to the choir rehearsal. Cause my dream was to play in big church. Like play with the big choir, like not the youth or the junior. I wanted to play and I was good. And I would go every Tuesday, only 12 year old there and they would never let me play. They would tell me I was great. They would tell me that, man, you getting so good, pinch my cheeks, take all the little stuff. But they would never let me play. They probably had a legitimate reason. But I remember sitting on that, that maroon chair in the back and deciding, I guess good is not good enough. I will only be great. And what ended up happening from 12 years old to 35 years old, I would not settle for anything good. And now I'm looking at my son and he's not good. And I couldn't rationalize or reconcile what was going on in me. And God was like, you're going to have to become okay with things being good. And I had to go and heal that 12 year old Michael to be able to even raise the 35 year old Michael and raise his son. And bro, I went on a journey, bro, to like actually deal with the damage that was in me. And as I did that, it was. What'd you say? My wife said I couldn't fix her either. I couldn't even relate because there was so much stuff on the inside of me that I had just put success over, put money over, put all this other stuff over. And it was kind of like, yeah, like we out here. And man, because I went on this healing journey because I spent the money everybody talking about, invest in property, you're the only thing that is priceless.
Pastor Mike Todd
That's why I always say invest in your mental.
DJ Envy
Well, why won't you invest in yourself? That's right, you got J's you don't even wear. For three years, you sitting them in boxes and you won't even invest in dealing with why your daddy left you. And you, you so broken over it, but you just can't even communicate to nobody. And now you're raising another generation that you're there present, but you're not there present. Emotionally you have to start from someplace though. You got us. But that's why I went first. DJ Envy. This is why I wrote this book. This may not be my most popular book, but it's my most valuable book. Because if anybody actually reads this, if anybody actually like goes in it, they're gonna Be like, dang, I can see myself, I can see where this could happen and maybe I'll take the first step. And that's all I'm trying to get somebody to do. Take a first step. Like, don't even freaking think about being this next version of yourself. Just take admit that you are still hurt from that first relationship. Cause you have been in 17 other relationships acting like, he ain't ish, I ain't this and that. Like you're still hurt from old boy in 2008, man.
Pastor Mike Todd
You know, that's exactly why I wrote my second book, Shook On Anxiety playing tricks on me. And that's, you know, it was me just talking about the things I had learned in therapy. But I had an actual psychiatrist, Dr. Ish, major in the book with me. Cause that's what I wanted. I wanted to admit that not only am I damaged, I wanted to talk about my traumas, but I wanted somebody to read that book and just take a first step.
DJ Envy
That's it.
Pastor Mike Todd
That's it.
DJ Envy
Cause the first step leads to the next step. And most of us have been so caught up on perfection, bro, that it is jacking your whole life up. It's progression. Somebody may leap to the next step. But if you just scooting, like, if you barely like, dang, I just listened to the podcast and I'm gonna go get the book or I'm gonna just watch a message or I'm gonna go get Charlamagne's, like, just take a step. Because the end of the day, man, your well being, who you really want to be, is available to you.
Pastor Mike Todd
I love how you talk about, you know, how you need God and therapy.
DJ Envy
Yeah, bro.
Pastor Mike Todd
You know, people feel like you can't have both. They'll say things like, you can't have faith in God. Faith and fear don't coexist. I don't know.
DJ Envy
First thing you got to realize is the opposite of faith is not fear. The opposite of faith is love. The Bible says perfect love cast out all fear. The truth of the matter is most people don't know how loved they are by God. So that's where fear really comes from. But the truth of the matter for me is I've been raised in church. I'm a pastor's kid. I've been around it my whole life. Been at the altar, play, done all the other stuff. And I believe. Me and my wife believe in theology and therapy. We believe in prayer and going to a practice. We believe in worshiping and doing the hard work. Because the truth of the matter is many times what happens at church, at the altar, in your alone. Alone. Time with God is a catalyst. It's supposed to start something. And for years, especially in the black church, and for many reasons, like maybe because we didn't have access to things, and maybe because we weren't taught about them, or maybe generationally, there was a stigma on it. But we act like everything happened when they prayed. No, no, no, no, no, no. Everything started when they prayed, and we're supposed to continue to pray. But there was some stuff that was in me that I had to communicate about. If you watch Jesus in the Bible, most of the miracles happened in communication. They weren't just like, bow and then it's over. It was. They were walking with him. He had disciples that walk with him, like me and you sitting here, that was still cutting people's ears off, still backstabbing, still doing stuff. But it was a process. And I just think that church has to do a better job at. At letting people know that when you get saved, that's your spirit getting saved, but you still got this flesh and you still got this soul, the mind, will and emotions. And it has to be continually worked on. It has to be continually transformed. And that's why I go to church. That's why I read my Bible, because I can make a good decision today and be ready to go off on somebody tomorrow. I need to continually be in this process of becoming. The old folks would have, say, sanctification, the process of being. Being made holy. All I'm trying to do is be set apart, but it's a process to that. And I just think, again, that's why I go back to progression, not perfection.
Charlamagne Tha God
Let me ask you a question. Right?
DJ Envy
Let's go.
Charlamagne Tha God
So my daughter was talking to me the other day and she was talking about the Bible, right?
DJ Envy
Yeah.
Charlamagne Tha God
And she was telling me that there was a lot of things in the Bible that wasn't understandable to her.
DJ Envy
Right.
Charlamagne Tha God
Meaning that she felt like the world crucifies you for certain things that are in the Bible, but for other things, they don't crucify you as much.
DJ Envy
Yeah.
Charlamagne Tha God
So for her, she was having a hard time necessarily believing as much because she was like, it doesn't make sense. And when a child says it doesn't make sense, see, she's putting two and two and two together. So what would you say to a child or a young adult that's reading the Bible, even an adult that's reading the Bible, and say, hey, when you talk about this in the Bible, it's kind of like, ah, it happens every day.
Coca Cola Advertiser
B.
Charlamagne Tha God
But when you talk about this, it's like, oh my gosh, you can't do that. So what do you say on that effect?
DJ Envy
Number one, you cannot look at culture to be able to get what you need to get from the Bible. So. So that's the first thing.
Charlamagne Tha God
There's some things in the Bible that'll cancel you forever. Then you lose jobs, sponsorships and everything.
DJ Envy
But it's in the Bible. So the truth of the matter is the spirit of the Bible is stronger than the word of the Bible, the letter of the Bible. And that's why I believe you have to have an actual relationship with God. Because the Bible is the only book that you read it. It'll start reading you. You'll read something like that don't feel right. And the heart of it, I believe the spirit of God will speak to you, give you an impression on your heart, bring clarity. And I think you should study to show yourself. Approved. There's tons of stuff in the Bible that I'm like, dang, like, whoa, okay, what do I do with that? Well, this is a different culture and a different time that all this stuff was happening. But behind everything that happens in the Bible, there's an idea, a spirit and a meaning behind it, and it's finding that thing. What I would encourage your daughter to do is first, not just start. There are some parts in the Bible that if you start there, you're going to be confused for the rest of your life. Start with the Gospels. Go to Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. Just learn about Jesus. He's the fulfillment of the whole Bible. So when you go to Matthew, Mark, Luke and John and watch how he touched people, watched how he loved people, watch how when church people were telling him not to heal people, he was stepping out on days that he was not supposed to heal nobody. And reaching beyond people's faults and seeing their needs, learn the person of Jesus. That's what I would tell anybody. Don't go. Start in the Old Testament trying to figure out what all the sacrifices are in Leviticus and Deuteronomy. Just start there. Because in the person of Jesus, he is the Word. And when that word comes to life in you. And then tell her to watch some of my messages. Tell her to check in with somebody who's done the studying and can break it down in another level. How old is your daughter?
Charlamagne Tha God
21.
DJ Envy
21. Tell her to go back and watch Relationship Goals by Mike Todd. Like, just send it to mentor and I'M telling you there. Sometimes it's harder to understand something when you approach it by yourself instead of approaching it with somebody who knows. How does your car work? All of us, we go to our car and we probably, y'all. Y'all rich. So y'all push a start button or don't even touch it, and it comes on. You don't know all of the things that happen for that to happen. But if you get with a mechanic, somebody who works with that, yeah, they'll be able to say, hey, this is how this happens. This has it, and you come with another understanding. So I believe that the Bible is something that you approach by yourself in your alone time, but you can't stay there. I had to get people to help me understand that thing, and I think that's what I would tell your daughter.
Pastor Mike Todd
You know, I want to go back to the theology and therapy thing. I got a couple of questions about that. My good brother, Lil Duvall, he posted a few weeks ago, he put a lot of. Y'all going to therapy because you're avoiding God.
DJ Envy
No, no, no, no, no, no. That may be his experience. I think a lot of people need to go to therapy because of what God's shown them. And a lot of times God shows you you in situations. And I will agree. I'll say this. Some people are going to therapy running from God. Like, I will say that because they need. Need to prove that they are working on something. And so going to therapy, paying the thing, not being checked in, just going and sitting there for an hour, that could make you feel good, like you check something off. But I do truly believe that we have been made by a creator, and God has given people the ability to understand. Me and my wife had to do this thing called reprocessing. I don't know if everybody knows what that means, but like, like, literally, you have to go to a situation, you have to think about that situation, and then you have to actually think about what you wish would have happened. How. How it could have been different. You got to retrain the pathways in your brain to be able to see, hear, feel something different. And God made us that unique. And so I believe it's both. And I believe there are some people that will go to therapy running from God. And I think there are some people that go to God running from therapy. I agree with you. Do I think everybody needs therapy? Yes. The Bible says that there is wisdom in the multitude of counselors. I don't think that everybody just needs therapy for their emotional stuff. They need therapy for their finances. I got counselors for my finances. I got counselors for my relationship. I got counselors. If the Bible says there's wisdom in the multitude of counselors, you need therapy. And just how to respond sometimes to your kids. Like, I mean, we were all raised differently, but sometimes, especially in our community, like the hand, the embarrassing our kids berating our kids, a lot of that stuff is just because it happened to us. And we've never admitted how much that jacked us up. So then we try to do it to the next generation and see like, and then. And play it like it's good parenting. All I'm saying is maybe you need to talk to somebody. Like, maybe you actually need to communicate what being embarrassed in the grocery store actually did to you and why you all puffed up every time anybody tries to correct you.
Pastor Mike Todd
I think the issue with mental and spiritual therapy is if we could actually look at it the way we look at physical therapy, we'd have a different. We'd have a different mindset on it. Because, like, when my arm breaks, I know I need to go to a doctor.
DJ Envy
I know I need to.
Pastor Mike Todd
My mom can pray over it. Yes, I can go to church and everything, but I still got to go to a doctor.
DJ Envy
And it's not that. Just like you get the surgery, but then after it heals, you got to do more. You have to do therapies. Why? Because I'm trying to get it not just back to where it was, I'm trying to get it stronger than it was. That's right, like, so that it doesn't. And they tell you if it breaks in that place and you actually do the therapy, it's a very small chance that it'll ever break there again. It's not that nothing else will break, but because you broke it there, you were damaged, you did the work, you healed, and then you did the therapy. You actually don't even have to worry about that area no more. And I agree with you, Charlamagne, that's the coldest thing. I think I heard you say in a year, like, if people would view the emotional healing they need, like a physical healing, everybody would do the work.
Charlamagne Tha God
But you know, the problem is, the problem is, it's like what you said before, it's learned behavior. Like, most of our parents didn't go to therapy and if they did, never told us, hold on. Like, that was grown up business. We didn't know about it.
DJ Envy
To this day, I love my parents, but it still is a thing. Like, you going to therapy, like. And again, I haven't been able. I'm not a therapist. To the nation. Her mama, my mama. As many times as we was telling them we were going to therapy, it almost seemed like a shock. It's a problem. Yeah. What's wrong with your relationship? What's wrong with y'all?
Charlamagne Tha God
That's what most people think.
DJ Envy
Yeah. But the truth of the matter is both. Both of our parents, as well as many of our parents, have had health issues.
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DJ Envy
I don't even need to say his name. Mr. Bob Dylan, a complete unknown, is.
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Nominee for best picture. Bobby, what do you want to be?
Pastor Mike Todd
Whatever it is they don't want me to be.
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One of the best performances of the year.
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70,000 people are here and Bobby is.
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They just want me singing blowing in.
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The wind for the rest of my life.
DJ Envy
How does it feel? Don't miss the movie.
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It's pure cinematic magic.
Pastor Mike Todd
Turn it down.
DJ Envy
Hey, Loud. And named to AFI and the National.
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Make some noise.
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BD track some mud on carpet.
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If you want to sell your house.
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DJ Envy
See terms and conditions when they have to go get glasses, when they have to wear a boot, when they have to do anything to get back to the vision they were once at. Nobody says anything, right? We. We spend money, we raise money, we use insurance. We do all of those things to get back to a place we were. Why wouldn't we, since we've been damaged since 5, 10, 17, 26. Why wouldn't we do everything we can? And that's why when I wrote this book, I knew that I had to do something that most people, specifically in a pastoring role, a shepherd over people or anybody that's doing this in 20, 23, that's too much ammunition for somebody to be able to discredit me. My freedom was more important.
Pastor Mike Todd
That's real. How do you know when to bring your pain to a therapist? And when you bring your pain to.
DJ Envy
God, I think you bring all your pain to God.
Pastor Mike Todd
Okay?
DJ Envy
I don't think the Bible says, cast all your cares upon him because he cares for you. It says, take on the easy yoke and the easy burden that he has. Trade him for that. I take everything to God. I acknowledge God in all my ways. He will direct my path. He directed my path to therapy, bro. I wasn't. I was the pastor. I was the crazy faith guy. I was like, yo, we gonna pray, we're gonna believe. And God was like, no, you gonna sit your butt down and talk to old. What? Like, let's just. Let's shout. And he was like, no, you need to cry. Like, I mean, I haven't cried. I can count on my hands how many times I have cried as a grown man. That's not okay. My body needs to release those emotions and that stuff, but I had not been taught how to do that. And just how I needed to be taught how to drive, taught how to run a business, taught how to actually be a husband. I needed to be taught how to be able to deal with my emotions. And it was almost like I was seeing in black and white. The reason the COVID of the book is black and white is because that's where I was living. Even though I was smiling, it was black and white now. Like, how I live now, what God's done in my heart now, how I can love this woman now, the four kids that I'm raising, the people I can affect now. Bro, it's 3D HD color. And was it hard? Hell yes. Like, it took a lot to keep showing up and to keep paying for it. Come on, let's be for real. Like, when you start seeing that tax like, you like, oh, shoot. But was it worth it? I'm telling you right now, it was the greatest investment that I've ever made in myself, and I couldn't keep it to myself. I could have wrote another book. I could have done something. But God was like, no, you need to. You got to share this. Because there's more people who are damaged and they need to know they're not destroyed.
Pastor Mike Todd
What are untransferred wounds?
DJ Envy
It's the stuff that you said. Untransferred wounds.
Pastor Mike Todd
Yeah. Talking about the untransferred wounds.
DJ Envy
Oh. The truth of the matter is every wound that you get has the ability to transfer to somebody else in your actions or in your non actions. And that's why I said earlier, what's not transformed is transferred. You got a lot of your mom and daddy in you that they didn't give you directly.
Pastor Mike Todd
That's right.
DJ Envy
Like, they gave it to you because you received it. The way that you handle issues, the way that you go through stuff. We got a lot of stuff because they didn't handle it. I'll give a prime example. I'll tell it in the book. I had a pornography addiction. I mean, jacked up, taking my money, my mind, my Focus your money. Oh, bro, porno is free. Yeah. Back in the day, you know, when you. Okay, come on, now. Don't act like you didn't. 399 sometimes. Come on now. And if you was buying magazines or if you doing any of the. Come on, let's be honest. It was robbing me, and the money was the least part of it. Well, I'm going through this whole thing by myself. I'm suffering, like, still trying to pray, still trying to love God, still trying to. And if somebody's like the pastor, I tell it every Sunday. Don't even trip like. Cause we out here, every man is. Is actually struggling with something, okay? I'm out here addicted, trying to do what I've been called to do after I actually start going through the process of healing and making decisions and making disciplines and being accountable and all this other stuff. I found out my dad, he was a drum major for Gramlin State University. And he said, they came to New York. It's crazy. I'm in New York right now. They came to New York and there was a street back in the day. Now this is back back in the day where they had peep shows down the whole street.
Charlamagne Tha God
That's 42nd street.
DJ Envy
Okay? So he know the street, 42nd street. And he said back in the day, he. They got here on the bus, and he said he got a pocket full of quarters, and you could go and you could put the thing, the money in the machine, and then the curtain would open and you see naked women. Back in the day, that was the equivalent of pornography. He said. After I told him what I was going through, he said, michael, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I never told you about it. I'm sorry I never dealt with it publicly. I'm sorry that I did this. He said, because I had five sons, and every single one of my brothers and me dealt with the sexual addiction. Because what was not. Not transformed in him was transferred into us, and all of us had to deal with it in another level. And that's what he told me. So I don't know the extent of it. I don't know how it affected him and my mom. I don't know. I mean, you know, when you telling somebody something at the end, it's like you tell them what part you think they can handle. But I know there was real things there, because now I'm a man raising four kids.
Pastor Mike Todd
How do you know you have a sexual addiction, though? A man? You supposed to have a healthy sexual aspect, right? Definitely.
DJ Envy
You're supposed to have a sex God gave it to you.
Pastor Mike Todd
That's right.
DJ Envy
The truth of the Matthew.
Pastor Mike Todd
Women are from the earth. Women are of God.
DJ Envy
Of God. But God also greatest creation. Oh, the best creation. You see mine back there? Glory to the most high God. The problem is. The problem is our human nature is leans to overindulgence. I mean, I'm talking about just in a Krispy Kreme doughnut. I mean, you don't even have to. You're not even hungry. But if somebody put some hot Krispy Kremes on the table and before you know it, six of them.
Charlamagne Tha God
Jesus.
DJ Envy
Like before you didn't even feel like it was and you're still not full. What happens when you eat? What's going to go against what you need and you're still not full.
Pastor Mike Todd
What if you pouring all of that into your woman?
DJ Envy
Beautiful.
Pastor Mike Todd
It's your wife.
DJ Envy
Beautiful. I think all of that is beautiful. There is nothing wrong with that. The truth of the matter is if you pour it all into your wife and you still need it from the people at your job and you still need it from the app and you still need it.
Pastor Mike Todd
I get what you're saying.
DJ Envy
I'm not saying within the confines of marriage as well as from my belief in confines of marriage, nothing's off limits. That y'all agree on. Right. The truth of the matter is people think that their addiction gets solved when they get married. Married. It never does. So there's some trauma or some drama or some triggers that actually need to be dealt with. And everybody thinks it's the person that's the person's not the problem. It's what's in you that you have not addressed. And so that's why four marriages, five marriages, I don't want to be married no more. And you just showing your okay do that. But after you've done it with everybody, you still feel empty. How have you flown out everybody made whole careers about it, sung about it, and at the end of the day you still feel empty. It can't be the sex.
Pastor Mike Todd
Yeah, I feel like that's people who they trying to feed their ego and not they soul.
DJ Envy
But even if you're trying to feed your ego, where did that come from? Somebody didn't see you.
Pastor Mike Todd
That's right.
DJ Envy
You weren't affirmed somewhere. You got picked over and it's like, nah, forget that. Everybody gonna see me now.
Pastor Mike Todd
That's right.
DJ Envy
And now I'm just saying that a lot of the things we clap for as the fruit has a rotten root cause for Me, all the stuff that I was doing and being great at and doing what nobody else was doing in my small little community, people were applauding me. I was getting attention for it. I was gonna be great. But the truth of the matter is, the root of it was foul. It was because I was not affirmed. I was not seen, and I was rejected. And until I dealt with that, everything I did, I was, bro. I had made more money than I had ever thought I was in. I was doing dreams. I couldn't feel it. I could not feel it because I haven't dealt with my real issue. And that's why I believe God many times brings you to a place where you have nothing else, so that you can find everything that's real. And too many people are running from that place. I actually believe everybody should hit rock bottom at least once. Whatever that is, hit it. Because that's where you can fall apart. And when you fall apart, that's when God takes all the pieces and he makes a masterpiece. And so many people are trying their hardest not to fall apart. Just fall apart. God does his best work with pieces of people, and then he creates masterpieces.
Pastor Mike Todd
Do you get counseling from other paths?
DJ Envy
Yeah, definitely. People who've been in the game a lot longer than me has. T.D.
Pastor Mike Todd
Jakes. You and T.D.
DJ Envy
Jakes? Yeah, man. We had an awesome meeting for probably about five hours at a restaurant. TD Jakes, he's like the OG of OGs. So we met, and it was, like, in this secret building that was unmarked. And we went up, and you hit the floor, and it's like a restaurant. I'm like, where am I? It was like me with the Godfather. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. And I'm like, what is going on? And that man just began to pour into me. I love T.D. jakes. I love him, too, as just somebody who talks even more than preaching. If you ever get to just talk to him, it is like. And that mentorship. Mentorship from Tim Ross, mentorship from Robert Morris, mentorship from Steven Furtick, mentorship from all. Like. Like, it's invaluable what you learn from people who've been damaged.
Pastor Mike Todd
Me and Stephen from the same hometown. No monks going to South Carolina, bro.
DJ Envy
I just preached for him two weeks ago.
Pastor Mike Todd
He was in Charlotte.
DJ Envy
Yeah, I preached in Charlotte two weeks.
Pastor Mike Todd
Ago, him and my wife. Cause I was already kicked out of school by then. But him and my wife went to high school together, bro.
DJ Envy
It's invaluable what you can learn from somebody who will share from their Damage. And that's what all of those men did. Like if I think about it right now, you call it mentoring, but all mentor mentoring, it really is, is people showing you where they messed up, where they should have done it differently, sharing from their damage, and it helps push you into your desk.
Pastor Mike Todd
Was this after the, the, the, the, the spit incident?
DJ Envy
No, bro, that, that was before.
Pastor Mike Todd
Okay, cuz you.
DJ Envy
I'm. The spit hits the fan. That's what I call it.
Pastor Mike Todd
Spit. It's the f. Break.
Charlamagne Tha God
Break it down. People don't know. I know we reported a long time.
Pastor Mike Todd
Ago it was smearing spit on your brother's face. I don't even remember what it was.
DJ Envy
To see your point.
Pastor Mike Todd
Think about how that was back then, how everybody was. Had you in the storm talking about it now. I don't even remember what it.
DJ Envy
Yeah, so I did an example at my church. I. First off, let me say this, I am not a regular preacher. Like when I say a regular preacher, like I was bored in church. And so when God called me to preach, I was like, all right, I'mma actually use everything that I have to help people get it. And so I tell stories, I use examples. And honestly I'm doing everything how Virgil Ablo said for my 17 year old self, most 17 year olds, they don't care nothing about church. They trying to see the girl with the booty and go eat and go play with the. So I'm trying to like cabbage rapture. So I've always used examples and stuff like that. And so there's this story in the Bible where Jesus basically heals a man by spitting on his hand and putting on his face. And so this is an example I'd done three times before. And this is with my blood little brother. This is not some random audience member or anything like this. Now this is a brother. We fought blood. Like this is my little brother. And he wanted to do the example with me so I could show it. And the whole idea was like many people will not be willing to go through a messy process to get their healing. So the idea was this man was blind, he wasn't deaf. So if Jesus is about to spit, he's standing there in front of Jesus and he can hear. Like if you hear somebody about the huckleooga, you're like, oh my God. And I was trying to say, as disgusting as this is this, that man stayed there and he received something that nobody else could give him. And I. And as I was saying, I said maybe you, the counseling would be messy for you. Maybe Apologizing would be messing for you. Maybe downsizing your house would be messy for you after you've put on this whole thing about how God blessed you. But what if on the other side of this mess was your healing? And I did the example, it worked too well. And by that night, we was on tmz, cnn, next morning, Breakfast Club, all that other stuff. And it was. Somebody was saying to me the other day, they was like, do you wish it wouldn't have happened? I was like, honestly, no. I was like. It shocked me. But what I had to deal with internally and what I had to become okay with inside of me because of that situation, it made me into a man that I would have never met had it not happened.
Pastor Mike Todd
Oh, go. I'm sorry.
DJ Envy
Go. I mean, for me, it changed my whole view of who I was called to reach and how much I needed anybody's applause. I was gonna.
Pastor Mike Todd
The only reason I even brought it up. Cause I felt like you was getting subbed a lot by other pastors during that time.
DJ Envy
Yeah, it was beautiful.
Pastor Mike Todd
Yeah, I feel like a lot of other pastors was like, trying to call you out, but not say your name.
DJ Envy
They don't got my cell phone number. They ain't text me. They didn't show up. And this is the beautiful thing about people. People like, for many years, it was up and to the right. Everything about what we were doing. This was the first opportunity for somebody to take a hit. And some people tried. But when God calls you, you can't cancel somebody.
Pastor Mike Todd
And that's why I was. That's why I asked you, you know, who's your mentorship? Because I felt like it's good to know that there were other pastors who weren't saying, I'm not going to talk about the brother. I'm a no man. I'm bring the brother in.
DJ Envy
I had people who pulled up on me. I have people who put their arm around me. But that's what we supposed to do. If you say. If you say you my brother, if you say you my sister, if you say we down, that means nothing on the mountaintop.
Pastor Mike Todd
Absolutely.
DJ Envy
It only means something in the valley. And so I'm grateful for all the men and women and people who roll with us through that storm. Because if you're doing anything, anything of significance, you going to have the moments. It don't matter who you are. And so we walked through it. And God has changed me in the process because I wasn't trying to combat anything. What is this exposing about me? And thank God I was in therapy. Thank God. I had community. Thank God. And the crazy thing is I had finished writing this book, so it wasn't even going to be in the book. And God was like, I'm going to give you a live example of what this looks like to be damaged but not destroyed. So I had to go back and re edit the book. Chapter two or three is when the spit hits the fan and I walked through how the whole situation. Cuz I'mma use everything. That's right. I'mma die empty man. If, if, if it happens to me and God can get glory out of it, I'mma use all of it. No, bro. If we're supposed to be defined by our worst moments, then everybody's jacked up. But if we can take our worst moments, give it to God, he can flip that thing and turn it into something beautiful. That's not about me, that's about him.
Pastor Mike Todd
That used to be what the world was about. I. I mean, I guess I still. That is what the world is about.
DJ Envy
Yeah.
Pastor Mike Todd
I can't let social media make me think otherwise.
DJ Envy
Well, the truth of the matter is it just doesn't get as many clicks.
Pastor Mike Todd
That's right.
DJ Envy
Right. A few weeks before this. Our church has been a generous church to nonprofits, organizations, sex trafficking. I. I started in the hood of Tulsa, Oklahoma, where. Right up the street from where the race Massacres happened in 1921. Like that's where my church was. And God somehow took that from a 300 member church to a large church that's affecting the world. Well, part of that was I'm not gonna be a church that just has resources and we not gonna really give. Prior to the spit hitting the fan incident, Charlamagne, we gave away in one year $8 million with no strings attached.
Pastor Mike Todd
Wow.
DJ Envy
Not one news report, not one clip. Our local news didn't even cover it.
Pastor Mike Todd
Did y'all put out a press release about that?
DJ Envy
$8 million? We even took, took the three surviving. Now there's only two people who survived the race massacres. Massacres. And we brought them on Juneteenth because they've not received reparations from anybody. Not Oklahoma, not the government, anything. We gave them each $200,000 with no strings attached.
Pastor Mike Todd
I never heard about that.
DJ Envy
I know.
Pastor Mike Todd
Wow.
DJ Envy
But the truth of the matter is that's not what people desire to feed on hope. They desire to feed on people's failures. And so until we actually do the inner work, why? The question is why? Why does the Will and Jada thing make us feel better?
Pastor Mike Todd
About us because our relationships are jacked up, but we not living them out loud like they are.
DJ Envy
Step away from the mic. Why does potentially seeing somebody lose their money make you feel? Why? It's because at the end of the day, hey, there's something in you that is not satisfied, not fulfilled. And so seeing what happens with Meg the Stallion and Tory Lanez, and seeing what happens with this pastor who falls and seeing what h. It just makes us temporarily not think about how we need to do some work. And that's why the Bible says, like, before you pull that whole log that. That speckle out of your brother's eye, you need to get that tree log out of your home. And right now, it's very easy not to even look at yourself, because I can look at everybody else, man.
Charlamagne Tha God
Damaged, but not destroyed. But not destroyed.
Pastor Mike Todd
What do you hope people get from this book, man?
DJ Envy
I believe that if you read this book and actually do the work that's in here. I tell people this all the time. It may not have been your fault what happened to you, but it is now your responsibility. It's time to do the work. And I'm just here to say I've had to do the work in front of people. Like. Like, with hundreds of thousand people watching me, judging me, all this stuff, you can do this work.
Pastor Mike Todd
That's right.
DJ Envy
No matter where you are, how much money you have, what your family thinks about it, you will become a different person that will be able to actually be a blessing to other people. The healed version of you is better than the version of you that you have right now. If you do the work, if you actually do it, you let me just say it like this. I dedicated this book to my great grandkids. Like in the dedication now my oldest daughter's 10. And I dedicated it because the Bible says a good man leaves an inheritance for his children's children. And yes, I want to leave them houses and yes, I want to leave them investments, but I want to leave them emotional health. I pray one day my grandson picks this book up and is able to say, my grandpapa dealt with his stuff. And I know I'm struggling right now because life be lifein'and, everybody's gonna go.
Pastor Mike Todd
Through it, but God be God, But.
DJ Envy
God be God and therapy be therapy. And that's why. Let me show you. I don't know what camera I can look into. Right here, the back of the book, it's a double cover. The front is me smiling. That's the triumph. But the back of it is me My dad, my four brothers, and my son. This is a picture of all of us. It looks like me, but it's all of us. Because your damage affects every person you say you love.
Charlamagne Tha God
Well, there you have it.
DJ Envy
So if you want to do the work, join me. Damage, but not destroy.
Charlamagne Tha God
Let's leave on a prayer.
Pastor Mike Todd
If we can pass on generational traumas, we can definitely pass on generational blessings.
DJ Envy
Bro, you just said it. And take it from blessing. Generational healing. That's right.
Pastor Mike Todd
That's right.
DJ Envy
Like, what happens if the greatest thing I could give to the next generation is how to deal with they issues? Absolutely, yeah. You want me pray for you? Of course. Let's go. Father, we just thank you for this opportunity to be here, to be in this moment, to be with you, for everybody listening and with my four brothers in the room, I thank you, Father, that something was said here that sparks their faith to believe that you can help them deal with their damage. God, we got different relationships, different responsibilities, different pains, different hurts. But God, you know them all. I thank you that by faith, something is about to change on the inside of every person, under the sound of my voice. Bring back a moment, a memory, a reason why they need to make this step. And I thank you that no matter what has happened to them, no matter how bad or how good, I thank you that you can take our trauma and you can turn it into triumph. You can take our pain and you can turn it into platform. Father, I thank you for all the people who are damaged but not destroyed. Bless them is my prayer. In Jesus name we agree. Amen. Amen.
Charlamagne Tha God
Ladies and gentlemen, Pastor Mike Todd. We appreciate you, brother.
DJ Envy
Hey, bro, we can make this maybe like a monthly thing. Let's make it happen. I appreciate y'all. It's the Breakfast Club.
Charlamagne Tha God
Good morning.
Pastor Mike Todd
Wake that ass up early in the morning.
DJ Envy
The Breakfast Club.
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Podcast Title: The Breakfast Club
Host/Author: iHeartPodcasts
Episode: Best Of Full Interview: Pastor Michael Todd On Facing Your Damage, Finding Your Value, Support Systems, Spit Incident + More
Release Date: December 25, 2024
The episode opens with DJ Envy and Charlamagne Tha God welcoming Pastor Michael Todd to The Breakfast Club. The hosts set the stage for a deep and engaging conversation about personal growth, healing from trauma, and the importance of support systems.
[03:15] Pastor Mike Todd: "Happy to have you, man. New book, Damaged but Not Destroyed from Trauma to Triumph."
Pastor Michael Todd introduces his latest book, "Damaged but Not Destroyed from Trauma to Triumph," highlighting its focus on overcoming personal struggles and transforming pain into purpose. He emphasizes the importance of sharing one's true story to inspire and encourage others facing similar challenges.
[04:10] DJ Envy: "The truth of the matter is we overcome by the blood of the Lamb. That's what Christ has done."
Pastor Todd and DJ Envy discuss the societal reluctance to openly share personal mistakes and traumas due to the fear of judgment and cancellation. Pastor Todd posits that this avoidance prevents meaningful conversations and healing. He asserts that embracing one's vulnerabilities can empower others to find hope and strength in their own journeys.
[08:53] DJ Envy: "It's dumb. I tell people all the time."
The conversation shifts to the significance of having a strong support system. Pastor Todd shares insights from his own experiences, emphasizing that overcoming damage requires a community that stands by you through hardships. He advocates for mentorship and being surrounded by individuals who encourage continuous growth and progression rather than striving for unattainable perfection.
[19:03] Pastor Mike Todd: "I believe that community is everything."
Pastor Todd delves into the synergy between faith and therapy, arguing that they are not mutually exclusive but rather complementary tools for healing. He explains how combining spiritual practices with professional counseling can lead to holistic well-being. This integration helps individuals address emotional, mental, and spiritual aspects of their lives, fostering comprehensive personal growth.
[27:21] Pastor Mike Todd: "If we could actually look at it the way we look at physical therapy, we'd have a different mindset on it."
The discussion deepens into the realm of generational trauma, where Pastor Todd highlights how unresolved wounds can perpetuate harmful behaviors across generations. He advocates for proactive counseling and emotional work to break these cycles. By addressing and transforming these inherited traumas, individuals can prevent them from being passed down, fostering healthier future generations.
[43:25] Pastor Mike Todd: "That's right."
[46:07] Pastor Mike Todd: "Oh, go. I'm sorry."
DJ Envy recounts a pivotal moment known as the "spit incident," where he used a physical demonstration during a church service to illustrate a biblical story. This incident unexpectedly thrust him into the media spotlight, leading to widespread attention and scrutiny. Despite initial shock, DJ Envy reflects on how this experience catalyzed his personal growth and deepened his commitment to his faith and community work.
[50:48] DJ Envy: "If you do the work, if you actually do it, you let me just say it like this."
[52:50] Pastor Mike Todd: "That's right."
Pastor Todd and DJ Envy offer practical advice for listeners dealing with trauma. They emphasize the necessity of taking actionable steps towards healing, whether through therapy, mentorship, or spiritual practices. They encourage individuals to acknowledge their pain, seek support, and engage in continuous personal development to transform their lives positively.
[52:46] Pastor Mike Todd: "That's right."
[52:50] DJ Envy: "Like, what happens if the greatest thing I could give to the next generation is how to deal with their issues?"
In their closing remarks, the hosts and Pastor Todd underscore the importance of generational healing. They discuss how addressing and overcoming personal trauma not only benefits individuals but also sets a foundation for future generations to thrive emotionally and spiritually. The episode concludes with a heartfelt prayer, reinforcing the message of hope, transformation, and the enduring impact of shared healing.
[04:10] DJ Envy: "The truth of the matter is we overcome by the blood of the Lamb. That's what Christ has done."
[08:53] DJ Envy: "It's dumb. I tell people all the time."
[19:03] Pastor Mike Todd: "I believe that community is everything."
[27:21] Pastor Mike Todd: "If we could actually look at it the way we look at physical therapy, we'd have a different mindset on it."
[50:48] DJ Envy: "If you do the work, if you actually do it, you let me just say it like this."
[52:50] DJ Envy: "Like, what happens if the greatest thing I could give to the next generation is how to deal with their issues?"
Embracing Vulnerability: Sharing personal struggles can inspire and provide hope to others facing similar challenges.
Support Systems are Crucial: Having a strong community and mentorship facilitates healing and personal growth.
Integration of Faith and Therapy: Combining spiritual practices with professional counseling leads to holistic well-being.
Breaking Generational Trauma: Proactive emotional work is essential to prevent the perpetuation of trauma across generations.
Progression Over Perfection: Personal growth is a continuous journey of small, manageable steps rather than achieving flawless perfection.
Transforming Pain into Purpose: Adversity can be a catalyst for profound personal transformation and impactful community work.
This episode of The Breakfast Club offers a profound exploration of healing from trauma, the importance of community support, and the powerful intersection of faith and therapy. Pastor Michael Todd and DJ Envy provide invaluable insights and personal anecdotes that not only shed light on overcoming personal damage but also inspire listeners to embark on their own journeys of transformation and growth.