Best Of Full Interview: Rome & Jess Hilarious Unpack Their Co-Parenting Relationship + More

Summary

Podcast Summary: "The Breakfast Club" Episode – Best Of Full Interview: Rome & Jess Hilarious Unpack Their Co-Parenting Relationship + More

Released on December 31, 2024 by iHeartPodcasts

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Introduction: Celebrating National Co-Parenting Day

The episode begins with DJ Envy and Charlamagne Tha God introducing the special guests, Rome and Jess, in honor of National Co-Parenting Day. They commend Rome and Jess for exemplifying one of the best co-parenting relationships they've witnessed.

Rome [02:54]: "Cause today is national co Parenting day. So we had to bring in a man who I feel like him and Jess have one of the best co parenting relationships I've ever seen."

---

Section 1: Origins of Their Relationship

Rome and Jess delve into their initial meeting and early relationship dynamics. They recount how they grew up attending the same church but didn't know each other until social media brought them together in their late teens.

Charlamagne Tha God [05:28]: "We grew up in the same church, but we didn't know."

Jess shares her confusion upon receiving Charlamagne’s initial message, leading to their first interactions filled with playful misunderstandings.

Jess [05:31]: "I said, what the fuck is this?"

Charlamagne humorously explains his approach to breaking the ice via Facebook, which eventually worked despite his reservations about its corny nature.

Charlamagne Tha God [05:58]: "So I'm like, I don't know. I did it because I thought it was corny, but I thought it was, you know. But it worked. It got our attention."

First Date and Early Challenges

Their first date at Six Flags sets the stage for their budding relationship, highlighting Charlamagne’s struggles with obtaining a driver’s license and the humorous anecdotes that followed.

Charlamagne Tha God [07:00]: "Our first date was Six Flags that morning. I went to get my permit before we left for Six Flags, but I failed."

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Section 2: Relationship Conflicts and Breakdowns

As their relationship progressed, conflicts arose, culminating in a significant altercation that strained their bond. They recount a heated argument involving alcohol, misunderstandings, and physical confrontations.

Jess [08:54]: "I went to jail that night."

Charlamagne Tha God [08:46]: "Real, real story? Yeah, of course."

The Car Window Incident

A pivotal moment in their relationship was the incident where Jess punched a window of Charlamagne’s car during a heated dispute. This event led to prolonged tension and mistrust.

Jess [12:25]: "You called the police."

Charlamagne Tha God [12:26]: "I didn't call the police."

They discuss the aftermath, including Jess’s arrest and the lingering resentment that followed.

Jess [12:29]: "I went to jail that night."

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Section 3: Transition to Effective Co-Parenting

Despite their tumultuous past, Rome and Jess found a path to effective co-parenting. Through open communication and mutual respect, they shifted their focus from personal grievances to their child's well-being.

Jess [43:18]: "I think I started off communication."

Charlamagne Tha God [44:19]: "Communication, feelings out of it, ego out of it."

Overcoming Past Conflicts

They emphasize the importance of setting aside past conflicts and prioritizing their child, Ash, as the central figure in their co-parenting journey.

Charlamagne Tha God [35:05]: "It's about Ash."

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Section 4: Personal Growth and Healing

Charlamagne opens up about his personal struggles, including his battle with alcoholism and the impact of his father’s behavior on his trust issues. He acknowledges the necessity of therapy and self-care in his healing process.

Rome [33:29]: "There's this thing called the mother wound."

Charlamagne Tha God [33:52]: "Maslow loss. It's done to you as a child, will affect you as an adult, but it will not define you."

Jess supports Charlamagne’s journey toward healing, recognizing the importance of accountability and personal growth.

Jess [35:04]: "So you want. You're definitely on the right path."

---

Section 5: Building a Better Future for Their Child

Both Rome and Jess are deeply committed to creating a nurturing and supportive environment for their son. They contrast their approaches to parenting with their own challenging upbringings, striving to break negative cycles.

Charlamagne Tha God [36:08]: "I refuse for my son to become a statistic. I refuse for my son to become a young, hurt little boy."

Jess [36:17]: "I teach my kids, especially my oldest boy, my 11 year old bro, like, I don't want you to have to go through something bad to learn a lesson."

Active Participation in Parenting

Charlamagne highlights his hands-on role in his son’s life, ensuring active participation and open communication.

Charlamagne Tha God [44:36]: "I'm a nurturer. I'm a dad. I'm a father. I nurture my baby."

---

Section 6: Communication and Setting Boundaries

Effective communication without letting emotions and egos interfere is crucial. Rome and Jess discuss how they navigate conversations to focus solely on their child’s best interests, maintaining respect and understanding.

Jess [43:18]: "I think I started off communication."

Charlamagne Tha God [44:19]: "Communication, feelings out of it, ego out of it."

---

Section 7: Advice for Effective Co-Parenting

Rome and Jess offer valuable advice to listeners navigating similar co-parenting challenges. They stress the importance of:

1. Open Communication: Addressing issues directly without letting emotions cloud judgment.
2. Mutual Respect: Valuing each other's roles and contributions to the child's upbringing.
3. Putting the Child First: Prioritizing the child's needs over personal grievances and past conflicts.
4. Personal Growth: Engaging in self-improvement and healing to foster a healthier co-parenting dynamic.

Jess [44:21]: "Ego for sure."

Charlamagne Tha God [44:19]: "Communication, feelings out of it, ego out of it."

---

Section 8: Conclusion and Future Outlook

The episode concludes with Rome and Jess reflecting on their journey from conflict to collaboration. They acknowledge the progress they've made and express hope for the future, committed to providing a stable and loving environment for their son.

Jess [49:35]: "Thank you."

Rome [49:35]: "You know what I mean."

Charlie and DJ Envy commend Rome and Jess for their vulnerability and dedication to effective co-parenting, emphasizing the significance of their story as a beacon for others in similar situations.

DJ Envy [42:30]: "But I love this story because it shows the foundation and how y'all are now."

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Key Takeaways:

• Overcoming Past Conflicts: Rome and Jess demonstrate that even deeply rooted personal conflicts can be navigated to establish a cooperative co-parenting relationship.

• Importance of Communication: Open, respectful, and focused communication is essential in resolving differences and prioritizing the child’s well-being.

• Personal Growth is Crucial: Engaging in self-improvement and addressing personal traumas can significantly enhance one’s ability to co-parent effectively.

• Child-Centric Approach: Placing the child’s needs and happiness at the forefront ensures a stable and nurturing environment despite past challenges.

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Notable Quotes:

• Rome [02:54]: "We had to bring in a man who I feel like him and Jess have one of the best co parenting relationships I've ever seen."

• Jess [08:54]: "I went to jail that night."

• Charlamagne Tha God [35:05]: "It's about Ash."

• Jess [43:18]: "I think I started off communication."

• Charlamagne Tha God [36:08]: "I refuse for my son to become a statistic."

• Charlamagne Tha God [44:36]: "I'm a nurturer. I'm a dad. I'm a father. I nurture my baby."

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This episode of "The Breakfast Club" serves as an insightful exploration of how two individuals can transform a troubled past into a supportive and effective co-parenting relationship. Through honesty, communication, and a shared commitment to their child, Rome and Jess offer a powerful example for listeners navigating similar journeys.

Transcript

[Narrator]

The holidays are about spending time with your loved ones and creating magical memories.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That will last a lifetime.

[Narrator]

So whether it's family and friends you haven't seen in a while, or those.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Who you see all the time, share.

[Narrator]

Holiday magic this season with an ice cold Coca Cola. Copyright 2024 the Coca Cola Company.

[DJ Envy]

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[Narrator]

Available features compatible device service and consumer activation of Nissan Connect Services package required Use only when safe and legal. Subject to third party service availability. For more information, see nissanusa.com connect legal Apple CarPlay is a trademark of Apple Inc. Intelligent all wheel drive cannot prevent collisions or provide enhanced traction in all conditions. Always monitor traffic and weather conditions.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Taking control of your career is empowering. Just don't tell my boss I said that. Building a career isn't just about a job. It's about creating a path that impacts our community and future generations. Whether you're starting out or making big moves, State Farm is here to support you with resources to help protect what you're working hard to achieve. They've got your back every step of the way. Because like a good neighbor state for what is there. Find out [e-mail] this Christmas. So you're her, right? You're the boxer. Experience.

[Narrator]

The incredible true story.

[Jess]

As long as I'm boxing, I'm gonna be okay.

[Narrator]

Of Claressa Shields.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

My baby going to the Olympics.

[Jess]

Let's go.

[Narrator]

Critics are calling the Fire Inside an inspirational knockout crowd pleaser.

[Jess]

If I'm gonna train for this gold medal, I'm gonna need exactly what the man gets.

[Narrator]

It's a monumental achievement.

[DJ Envy]

I've been working my whole life.

[Narrator]

It is the Fire Inside. Based on the incredible true story. Rated PG 13. May be inappropriate for children under 13. Only in theaters everywhere.

[Rome]

Peace to the planet. I go by the name of Charlamagne Tha God and I wanna introduce you to uberteen accounts. A connected account for your teen with trackable trips and highly rated drivers. Now, I am the father of a 16 year old daughter. So I need things like Ubertine. Okay? Your teen can feel a sense of independence and you can feel a sense of relief. You can follow their entire ride on a live Tracking map. Perfect for those times when you wanna be there but can't. When your teen requests a trip, they are matched with highly rated and experienced drivers and you receive real time. Not every trip comes with enhanced safety features. Pin verification to ensure your teen enters the right vehicle live. Trip tracking for parents. Plus you, the parent can contact the driver directly from the app. Add your teen to your account today. Available in select locations. See app for details. Wake that ass up early in the morning.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

The Breakfast Club.

[DJ Envy]

Morning, everybody. It's DJ Envy.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Jess.

[DJ Envy]

Hilarious Charlamagne, the guy. We are the Breakfast Club. We got a special guest in the building.

[Rome]

Cause today is national co Parenting day. So we had to bring in a man who I feel like him and Jess have one of the best co parenting relationships I've ever seen.

[Jess]

That's right.

[Rome]

Rome is here.

[DJ Envy]

Rome is here. I got in trouble already, Rome cause of you.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You got a tune already.

[DJ Envy]

I got in trouble causing you already.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Why? What happened?

[DJ Envy]

Just say, I want to know who gave Rome some liquor this morning. And I was like, I ain't give it to him. I just told him where the bar was.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

And I said, help yourself, help yourself. Yeah, that's fine.

[Jess]

And you said it was apple juice. And so I was about to take a sip and I was like, uh.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You already knew it wasn't apple juice. I just ain't think you was gonna pick the cup up.

[Jess]

Okay.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You.

[Rome]

You and Jess have the best co parenting situation I've ever witnessed. How did y'all get to this point?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Rome, she thinks she my mother first and foremost.

[Jess]

Okay.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

But it took time. It took time. I felt like when you take the feelings out of it and you. You realize that the child is the most important part of the relationship because it's still a ratio. Whether y'all intimate or not, you can do magical things. Magical things. And I think that me being a dad that I was and that I am still today, I wanted that. I felt like if we wasn't gonna be together, there was no need for us to beef. We've created over time. Whereas now she's my best friend, she's my safe space. I feel like, you know, I can vent to her because sometimes, all the time, I need it. But I feel like when I was pouring into these other women, they would use it against me. Whereas, though now. And now that she's pregnant, I don't really call her and say certain things because I know she going through certain things mentally now. So just is always in my safe space though. So it's like she's always been the person that I go to. I call, give me advice. Some advice I don't take. But just to hear. But just to hear her give it to me, just to know that she care. Because, like, man, I don't really have nobody.

[DJ Envy]

How did y'all. How did y'all meet? How did you meet Jess? And how did y'all start dating back then? Where did you see it when it.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Was like, oh, this is.

[DJ Envy]

This is somebody I wanna holla at.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

It's crazy, because we grew up.

[DJ Envy]

Starting to smile. He's starting to smile.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

He going back? Nah. Cause we grew up in the same church, but we didn't know. No, we didn't know. My mom. When my mom was alive. My mom died when I was 10. My mom was alive. We went to the same church. My mom died. My father, like, really took me away from everybody. So now it's like, fast forward. I'm like, 17. It's Facebook now. It's after MySpace, it's Facebook. And she came across my timeline, and I was like, okay. So I did a dot, dot, dot, and I put a basketball emoji.

[Rome]

Oh, you thought she was a WNBA player?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No. Shut up, man.

[DJ Envy]

Little junior varsity basketball player playing with you?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Nah, she bit on it, too.

[Rome]

Okay.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

She bit. She was like, what the. I forgot what she said. But I was like. I was just. I think I was like, I'm just coming to get my ball. Coming to get. Was mine. Something like that.

[Jess]

I said, what the fuck is this?

[Rome]

And you said, why the basketball room? I need to know.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I seen it somewhere. What?

[Rome]

Loving basketball?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No, I seen somebody do that. Like, I don't know where I seen it, man. You gotta understand this.

[Jess]

Put a basketball in the messages.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

This is 11 years, okay? 12.

[Jess]

12 years ago.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

So I'm like, I don't know. I did it because I thought it was corny, but I thought it was, you know. But it worked. It got our attention.

[Rome]

What'd you think, Jess, when you saw the basketball?

[Jess]

I just. I said, what the is this?

[Rome]

Okay.

[Jess]

I just typed it back. And he was like. He said it was my ball. It's my ball, and I'm coming to get. I'm coming to get it. Or something like that. I'm coming to get what's mine. And I was like, oh, okay, what's up? I already knew what I was giving, what it was.

[Rome]

It worked.

[Jess]

Okay, what's up?

[DJ Envy]

But it worked, though.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

It worked.

[DJ Envy]

It worked. So y'all started talking. Where was your first date? What was your first. When you Started first talking to what.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Was your honest man. Jessica did a lot. I'ma say this before. A lot of these young guys became Jody. I was Jody. And our first date, big date. I'm gonna say it was Six Flags.

[Rome]

Okay, okay, okay.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Six Flags.

[Jess]

All right.

[Rome]

Not doing it big.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I never had a birth certificate that my mom died. It was here. My dad didn't want to come here to get it.

[Jess]

In New York.

[DJ Envy]

In New York.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

In New York.

[Rome]

Cause you was born in Brooklyn, right?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I was going to Staten Island.

[Rome]

Staten Island. Okay.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

So my dad didn't want to get it. So for a long time, I just had a college id. I was driving on a college id, But Jessica was the simplest one to let me drive with no id. I meant with no license, you know, I was responsible, though. So I used to work at the car wash. I used to clean it, shine it up, gel in the ties, and whole nine yards. But our first date was Six Flags that morning. I went to get my permit before we left for Six Flags, but I failed. I went in there on my high horses. That's why I failed at first biggest written test. Flag driving test. It was written, but it was computer. Yeah, written. Yeah, written.

[DJ Envy]

That test is difficult. I go from it. That test is difficult.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I failed the one where it said, put on your high bangs or your low beams when it's. When it's rain. Like when it's raining or something like that. Or when is the ground most slippery.

[Rome]

Did you have shades on when you took the test?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Nah.

[Rome]

Okay.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I ain't really wear shades like that then. Okay, I did, but they was another no. Yeah, but first big date, Six Flags. But before that, we did a lot of other things. But after that it was. We did a lot. Like, she introduced me to a lot, actually. We both was the same age, but she helped make me become. Well, got me to becoming a man. Yeah, becoming a man. And then. Yeah, then boom.

[DJ Envy]

Now, Jess always says that you are. You were overprotective, made sure she was good. But then she always said, you can't fight.

[Jess]

Oh, my God.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No, she never seen me fight. Oh, I never had to.

[Jess]

From. We fought. I got that from.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

She did say that. Of course. I'm not gonna fight her, bro. Oh, it's crazy. Cause I just got a picture from the window. You busta mines.

[Rome]

She busted your windows out your car, man.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No, one window. With her fists.

[Rome]

What? What happened?

[DJ Envy]

Oh, you can't beat her then. If she could break a window from her fist, I wouldn't even try to.

[Rome]

Fight that what happened?

[Jess]

Rome.

[Rome]

Rome had to take a sip. Thinking about that, that's triggering him. What happened? What happened?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You wanna know? Real, real story? Yeah, of course. Oh, God. All right. I was just talking about. I was just in North Carolina this weekend. I just was talking about this, like, how my stepbrother was, like, corny and shit, right? My step, like, Jessica, pull up. Mind you, we ain't together. Jessica pulls up. I had a girl in the house. So my brother, like, he come to the top of the steps, like, Rome Jess at the door. I'm like, all right, here I come. The n. Don't even wait for me to come.

[DJ Envy]

He let her in.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

He let her in. Oh, boy. Mind you, I walked right past him and his friends with the girl. Jessica get in, come down the steps, murdered her. She rolled.

[Jess]

But what did I see when I walked down the steps?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Jerome, you didn't see. So initially tries to facade this story. Ashton. I had a portable rocking bassinet where I could put it in the trunk, send it to her, bring it back. Ashton was in a portable rockin joint. Me and the girl was on. On the bed. I had on basketball shorts. She had on her uniform pants. She gonna sit. She's been saying this. Uniform pants.

[Rome]

Was she in the military?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

This is correctional officer. She's correctional officer.

[Rome]

Okay?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

So, like, she's sitting. She facing me, but her legs is like. You know how that go. Jessica come downstairs, she keeps. She gonna say, oh, we was naked. We was not naked. If we was naked, it had been happening. I don't get naked and sit up. No, she had a shame once, okay? Oh, my gosh. See, she's never gonna tell the truth anyway. She banged the girl.

[DJ Envy]

You beat up the girl?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No, she didn't beat up. She banged her.

[Jess]

She, like, popped her.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

And I picked her up and walked up the stairs and threw her outside.

[Jess]

Jerome, you could never lift me. No, you never. No.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Y'all see what I'm saying? She never wants to. She never wants to admit the truth.

[Rome]

So hold on. The CEO couldn't fight?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Nah, I ain't. No.

[Jess]

I don't know if she could fight or not, but she. I hit her one time, and then she got up, and then she put on her uniform and went and left.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Went upstairs and she's like, the truth is not. I promise you. I Wish it was. IPhones and CA.

[Jess]

Started fighting. That. That.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No, I didn't fight, too.

[Jess]

And my son was not in no portable nothing. He was on the floor on a blanket, and the cat was looking at him like, he wanted to eat him. Yes.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

It was cement under the carpet, so I would never lay my. I wouldn't even lay on the floor.

[Jess]

So why was my son on the floor?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

My son was in a portable bassinet, okay?

[Rome]

Y'all been arguing about this for 11 years.

[Jess]

For 11 years. Yeah.

[Rome]

Because she never wanted to tell the truth.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

She was drunk out of her mind. And I'm trying to figure out why her home.

[Jess]

First of all, I was just getting off of work. Just getting off of work. I had a job.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You d. You said goddamn lie. You did not just get off work. You was fired at that time. So please.

[Jess]

No, I got fired right after that. I was working at McDonald's. That's when I was sailing out the register overnight.

[DJ Envy]

This is so much Gretel love.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I love it.

[Jess]

And then if I was drinking, okay, I was drinking on the job, but I was at work, so. And then I came to get my son, and then.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No, you did not come get your son. Cause it was my weekend.

[Jess]

So what?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I was until Monday from daycare. Why would you come and. No, you was coming to be nosy.

[Jess]

I didn't have to come to New York Day.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I had a passenger with her. If you come in to get your cousin to call.

[Jess]

Yup.

[Rome]

She.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I wanted her to go either because. Go home.

[Rome]

What? 11 years.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You still don't like 11 years old, man, that's. My God. So how did you punch the window?

[DJ Envy]

How did you break the window?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Man, she hit that with her. With her hand.

[DJ Envy]

So you walked out, seen this car and punched.

[Rome]

No, she.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I threw her ass out. I shut the door.

[Jess]

Jerome, you're not that. You was not that strong like. You did not throw me nowhere.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I had you, and it was steps.

[DJ Envy]

You Jazzy Jeff.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Oh, yeah, that right there.

[Jess]

He could never ever even right now could not do that to me.

[Rome]

Why you hit the window, though?

[Narrator]

Why you hit the car?

[Jess]

Because I was just really, really mad at her because he wouldn't give me my son. You wanna give me my son? You called the police. And we gonna try to say I called the police.

[Narrator]

You called the police.

[Jess]

You called the police.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I didn't call the police.

[Jess]

I don't know how to jail.

[Rome]

Listen, you went to jail.

[Jess]

I went to jail that night.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Pause, pause, listen. Hold on. I need. Everybody hear this. Where I'm from, the jail is right there.

[Jess]

Right around the corner.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You can walk. It's two minutes.

[Jess]

So they heard the commotion, they walked to us.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I don't know how they came. I thought my stepmother called. My Godmother.

[Rome]

Called one of them.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

It was my stepmother house, my godmother house. Somebody called. Cause I ain't called the police. My phone was cracked. Cause you cracked his phone, too.

[Jess]

I did crack his phone, but he could still. Everybody in the house had a phone. He called my. He called the police on me and then going. And then when the police came, I just sat in my car. I was mad. I was like, no, I came over here to get my son. Nicole did tell me, yo, come on, let's pull off. He not giving you the baby. He not giving you the baby. I was like, all right, cool. But I was mad, so I didn't pull off. Police paddy wagon pulled up and got out. And you was like, she right there. She right there. She ain't proof yet, bro.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

How was I trying to get. How did I try to get you locked up when I'm the same one called trying to bail you out with no money.

[Jess]

I don't know why you ever thought you could bail somebody out with no money.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Like, I ain't sleep that night.

[Rome]

You trying to get out.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

He put her on jail to try to bail out. Mr. Check this out. You ever went through a woman phone? Of course. Could you eat after that? Yes. You could? Well, I couldn't. I'm comparing that to when she went to jail. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, you know, and you sick.

[Rome]

I get. I was sick.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I didn't. I didn't want. I ain't want her in jail. Why the would I call the police?

[DJ Envy]

So how did you punch the window?

[Jess]

That's what we up to it. And then was. Then I just punched the window.

[Rome]

What kind of car was it?

[Jess]

He had a Honda.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

A Honda Accord B6.

[Rome]

I know. It was fresh.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No. Yeah, it was my first car and.

[Jess]

He had just got it.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

She ain't like it when I got it.

[Rome]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I was jealous.

[Jess]

Now tell you why. You had a lot of freedom.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I had freedom once I got it.

[Jess]

Very much.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

She couldn't call me, say, bring me my car back, Jody.

[Rome]

Right?

[Jess]

I've never called you that. I never called you that.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Anyway, mind you, she took me to get the car.

[Jess]

I ain't never seen nobody when we.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

When we got. When I got in the car. When I got in the car, she was like, I don't like this shit.

[Jess]

I said, yeah. So this man, you really be doing you because you was doing you. He would drop me off to work and go act like he in class.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I was an A student then.

[Jess]

I was going Right there.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

To BCC for my associates. Yes, I did. I went to class because guess what? You got off work 2:00. You had to be to work 6:00. So I was getting up 5:00am Every morning. We got to your work, we got to your job by 5:45. I got out of class at 1:30, did my homework for the 15 minutes, came to Cold Spring McDonald's and picked you up. Then we went home. That was my routine Monday through Friday.

[Jess]

You're skipping a lot of things, but it's hurt, huh?

[Rome]

Did you hurt your hand?

[Jess]

No, it didn't hurt until I got in jail. I ain't gonna lie. So I got in jail. But listen.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

So no, it ain't hurt till she sobered up.

[Jess]

This the crazy thing. I was not that drunk. So then when I got drink 1800, guess who did my intake?

[Rome]

God damn.

[Jess]

No, guess who did my intake? The damn girl who was with him.

[Rome]

The one that you punched?

[Jess]

Yep. Yes.

[Rome]

She went. She clocked in to do that? Hell yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Crazy.

[Rome]

She like, I'm on my way.

[Jess]

She did my intake. That same girl that I popped. Yo, she did it, but she didn't say nothing because she couldn't be caught up in nothing like that. She would have got fired. Yeah, she lost her job.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

She did, right?

[Jess]

I straight told on her, like, yeah. Cause I was like, so you don't want to go? Absolutely. As soon as I got in.

[Rome]

This is a get a love story.

[Jess]

Wow. How could you actually want to fuck with a nigga who laid his baby in a cat's face on the carpet?

[Rome]

I ain't mad at that. I ain't mad at you telling on that movement, Jess, because you don't know what she could have tried to do to you in that situation. So you got to put everything on the table.

[Jess]

I was like, it was ghetto or begotten. And that's what it was.

[Rome]

So now when you hear this story and you say to yourself, why are they there on National Co Parent Day? Because they are like the best of friends now. They call each other Jeff, calls you her brother. How do you feel about that?

[DJ Envy]

How did y'all get there?

[Rome]

Do you look at her like your sister? You said, mama.

[Jess]

I was gonna say, what you say created that.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah, like my mother won't like when we out of town and shit. She act like my mother. Now, I ain't gonna disclose too much, but she thinks she my mother. No, I just know she likes to control. Like, she know how I am, though. Like me, I'm a Loner. I think part of that controlling part is like, I don't care where I'm at, bro. It could be 20 of us. I don't want to be with y'all, so guess what I'm gonna do?

[Jess]

And he can go out of town with these 20 people and then be like, all right.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I'm like, no, we could be all on a Sprinter.

[Jess]

What's going on?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No, we all been on Sprinter. Whatever state we go to. I'm even gonna go get a rental or slingshot or something. It better not be raining. But I think that controlling part comes in because she cares. And sometimes, especially when I'm under the influence, I've done dumb ass shit. So that's good.

[Rome]

Did you know that you can admit.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That I've done dumbass.

[DJ Envy]

I don't know if you heard. Just assist in the back.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Everybody, like, you know, everybody knows. But I hold myself accountable to that, mind you. Now, I ain't gonna say what I learned from one mistake because I done did a dumb ass shit over and over again. But I think in that aspect, that's when the mother. The mother with the voice, but the bruh, her calling me brother and sister. Like, honestly, without the child. Like, it's there. It's seen, like, cameras on, cameras off. Like, you can't fake this or make this shit up.

[Jess]

Oh, yeah, Rome started that. Rome started calling me sis first, and then I started calling him bro. You know, I'm like, yeah, we do have, like, a sibling dynamic in some way. You know, he still confides in my mom. He like, my mom is our mother. Like, it's not. It ain't nothing crazy. It's nothing intimate. Like, seriously, I always say this. People be like, yeah, right. I can literally walk past this. And it. I don't do this. What I'm saying, I can walk past this man naked, and he doesn't be like, girl, what? Like, put that up. I'm talking about seriously, like, how do.

[DJ Envy]

Y'All know each other's spouses or each other's boyfriend and girlfriend?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Like, how do you deal with his girl?

[DJ Envy]

And how do you deal with.

[Rome]

Now?

[Jess]

Wrong.

[Rome]

She told us you had 17 baby mamas.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Five.

[Rome]

Five. Okay.

[Jess]

I never told you he had.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No. I thought you said, like, everybody always tried. I said five times, two and like that, right? It's cool, though. It's cool.

[Jess]

I get, say a five.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

But this was this. And then this was the friction part. Now we got over that. But this is the friction part was I'm on my business. I'm getting her. But the friction part was her getting into minds. But she's still a woman. I'm still a man.

[Jess]

Yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

So women tend to do that. And this is not. No shame to women. I don't mean no disrespect by saying it, but I think women tends to do that. Especially a woman that care about you.

[DJ Envy]

Well, she said sometimes you make bad decisions and she's there as your sister to make sure you good.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Correct.

[DJ Envy]

Regardless if it's life, relationship or whatever.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Correct.

[DJ Envy]

She said that on there with me.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Personally, I never really. Like, I talk to her about certain things, but I never really like my family to get into no intimate situation. Because guess what? Y'all can feel a way about this person however y'all want, whether it's negative or good. If I'm gonna deal with this person, I'm gonna deal with them. Like, the female can smack shit out me yesterday. I might get over it and fuck it them up. But it's like, that's why I always. That's how I was always able to distinguish the two. Like when Jessica with her men, when she come to me like, I don't know. Like, I ain't never pillow talking or sneak dissing or nothing. Like, I don't really care for. Like, it ain't enough. A nigga have that. I don't if. If you put it in that sense. But when she come to me with a man, I tell her, ain't right.

[Rome]

But both of y'all gotta care, though. Cause you gonna want to know who around your son, she gonna want her.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I never did, though.

[Jess]

Yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I never. So in the beginning stage, yeah, don't have this around my son, my brother.

[Jess]

Right, right.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I grew out of that. So now it's. I trust my child mom enough to. She won't bring no fuck shit around my child. So I don't say, oh, don't have this nigga around my. That's never been a problem. What has been a problem was envy me. Except for my last dog. Yeah, my dog.

[Jess]

That's my dog.

[Rome]

Who's the dog?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

My dog, Chris.

[Jess]

Chris.

[Rome]

Okay.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Chris, my dog. That's my dog. I ain't gonna hold you. I think he's the. I think, like, me, honestly, me and Jess, man. Like, I think it's been times where a woman didn't like me and her situation. But guess what? Bye.

[Jess]

Yeah, more so on. And yeah, it'll be more so on his end because it's much more of them. But the thing is. Yeah, the thing is, like, I don't like when. Cause I even tell him when he doing wrong, too. Like, yo, don't treat her like that. This is not how you going introduce me to her now. I done got to know her, you know? And whether she had a kid or not, most of the time it's the ones that have the kids. But it's like, yo, you gotta do right or just be single. Like, don't keep hurting women in the process of trying to find what you're looking for. I mean, I know that's all a part of dating, but when you have kids, it's different, you know? And then he'd be like, oh, that's why I don't like you to be getting into it, you know? And then I don't like, he. He attracts a lot of toxic women, too. Like, abusive relationships where women will put their hands on him. Like, what? Yeah, all right. You know? But he don't. He's like, nah, but I might be fucking with it. A mall. What? She just blacked your eye. What are you talking about? You know what I'm saying? Like, no, we not doing it.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

But Clara, I never had a black eye.

[Jess]

Okay, well, she. Bust your nose, whatever women have put their hands on you. And you are right.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

And that's why. And that's why she's my dog. Like, I think she's the only one, really, honestly, the one to get the fuck under my skin. Like, a certain word place she used. And I don't care what tone she use it in, but to say that, it's like, I was really never taught how to love. Like, from. I lost my mom at 10 years old. My heart. I moved with my dad. And when I moved with my dad, I didn't move. My dad and my stepmom, which is my mom. Now, me and my mom have a great relationship. That's my stepmom. And my dad was married, but my dad was cheating. Like, same. Like my dad, bro. My dad's showing me that, bro. Like, I'm thinking, cool. So, like, when. Even when I started dealing with women and stuff like that, multiple women and all that, my dad was like, yeah, son, absolutely. And I'm thinking it's cool because that's what you're being told. That's what. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm being taught. Like. And every man in my life that I looked at as a role model, to me was the same way.

[Rome]

Same.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

So it's like what you expect. But the good thing is now it's like, I'm old enough now, and mind you, I ain't perfect. Now I'm seeing it, I'm trying to, you know, change it, but I never was taught to love properly, so. And I never. My trust issues is fucked up from my dad. Like, bro, my trust issues fucked up before I even met my. Met her. Because I'm seeing what he's doing, but I'm saying when it's done to him, his reactions like, damn, my nigga, you were just doing this. How you gonna get mad, right? So it's like every relationship I went into, I had an expiration date. Me. I put an X ray on myself. I said, she gonna get, she gonna get. I'm get what I'm getting. I'm gone. So I've never really gave a woman the. The. What's the word I'm looking for? I never really gave a woman commitment, not even commitment, but I never gave the woman a chance to really love me.

[Rome]

But even with the kids, like, even having kids with other women.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Nah, I had. And this is like, I said, no distracting my children, moms. A lot of my. My children came out of vulnerability.

[Rome]

Explain, expound on that.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

And I'm explaining that so I will meet a woman who I may feel like she. It's what I need, another safe place or whatever the case may be, but I'm already vulnerable from a previous relationship. Have a child, knowing I don't want to be with this woman. I don't want her. I. I don't. I really don't want to be with her, but I feel like I'm forced to be with her because it's a child. And I've done that.

[Rome]

You know, multiple times.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Multiple times.

[Rome]

You needed a therapist, not another baby mama, correct?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah, but at the time of need, at the time of vulnerability, you know, women. You know, women, can they be masked up?

[Jess]

And also, you know, just on an accountability part, which he has taken over his recent years, is like, you was looking for, like, your mom in women, and you would never get that. You know what I'm saying? Because you was trying to look for an emotional connection with nurturing also. And then you was really, really searching for Keisha, Keisha's mother. You were really searching for her. And women, that's a different type of love. You know what I mean?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I think different women. Well, I always dealt with different women because different women have certain. What is it? Certain things, certain aspects of a. Certain aspects of it. But, like, I never knew how to be alone, bro. Like, I would Be single, have my own apartment and all that and let it go and go move with a woman because yeah, I never knew really. I don't know how to. I don't like being lonely. Like so it's like a lot of the times when. And I say this is real. Like I don't know if a lot of other men like me, but when being lonely, bro, you, you go through social. I don't give. How much money you got. I don't care about none of that. But like I never really knew how to be alone. Like I feel like I gotta have somebody laying next to me because even before my mom died, my mom used to sleep naked. This is a back then thing.

[Rome]

How old were you when your mother passed?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah, I was 10. But I was a mommy's boy.

[Rome]

Did you ever, Dan, did you ever really properly grieve?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

So grieving. No, I never really grieved. All I did was I thought it was gonna help me by going to school for social work because that's what she was. But I never really properly grieved and that's a, that's a process. Now I do want to get, you know, back in the gym. I do want to get a therapist. But I want everything else around me to be intact so that I could fully commit. Because if I ain't fully committed, it ain't gonna work.

[Jess]

And then I also feel like your, your dad didn't get you any type of.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Honestly, I felt like me personally, and this is probably the first time I said this like I did. I think my father really wanted me for a check and exactly what I said, like the money and lied to me for so long. I lost a scholarship because of my dad.

[Rome]

Oh.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Because at the time where I wanted to go, I wanted to get away from them. So I had, I had a couple scholarships. I had like over 30 acceptances I got.

[Narrator]

The holidays are about spending time with your loved ones and creating magical memories.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That will last a lifetime.

[Narrator]

So whether it's family and friends you haven't seen in a while, or those.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Who you see all the time, share.

[Narrator]

Holiday magic this season with an ice cold Coca Cola. Copyright 2024 the Coca Cola Company.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

The.

[DJ Envy]

World is constantly changing. It's up to you to decide how to respond. Choose to be bold, to try something new. Choose to reinvent yourself. That's what Nissan did with the all new, totally reimagined kicks. The dynamic new exterior styling immediately announces that Nissan isn't messing around. The interior, a completely redesigned cabin with premium features like wireless Apple CarPlay and a panoramic moonroof make driving a Kicks immersive and exciting and with new performance and safety features like intelligent all wheel drive, the Kicks is both fun and safer to drive than ever before. It is the dawning of a brand new era for the Nissan Kicks. Only one question remains. Is it a new era for you as well? Drive the all new reimagined Nissan Kicks today.

[Narrator]

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[DJ Envy]

This is Questlove and I'm here to tell you about a new podcast I've been working on with the story Pirates and John Glickman called Historical Records.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

It's a family friendly podcast. Yeah, you heard that right. A podcast for all ages. One you can listen to and enjoy with your kids.

[DJ Envy]

Starting on September 27th. I'm going to toss it over to the host of Historical Records Nimini to.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Tell you all about it. Make sure you check it out.

[Jess]

Hey y'all, Nimini here.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I'm the host of a brand new.

[Jess]

History podcast for kids and families called Historical Records. Historical Records brings history to life through.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Hip hop, Smash, slam, Another one gone. Bash Bam. Another one gone. The cracker, the bat and another one gone. A tip of the cap cause another one gone.

[Jess]

Each episode is about a different inspiring figure from history.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Like this one about Claudette Colvin, a.

[Jess]

15 year old girl in Alabama who refused to give up her seat on.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

The city bus nine whole months before.

[Jess]

Rosa Parks did the same thing.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Check it.

[Jess]

And it began with me.

[Rome]

Did you know?

[Jess]

Did you know I wouldn't give up my seats. Nine months before Rosa it was Claudette Goldman. Get the kids in your life excited about history by tuning in to historical records, because in order to make history, you have to make some noise. Listen to historical records on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Sent me to a school in Florida.

[Jess]

I think they asked. And did your mom leave you money or.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah, my mom. Yeah, my mom. So my mom left.

[DJ Envy]

I thought maybe the government gave you a chance.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

My. My mom was getting money and, you know, Social Security stuff, so it was like my dad was making bank like I did. I ain't even gonna say the calculation. Calculation is crazy.

[DJ Envy]

What's your relationship with your dad now?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

We okay, you know, we all right. He, you know, he's still living with that regret, and I feel like that's why we can't really get there. But, yeah, like, I feel like my dad wanted me for a check, man.

[Rome]

How'd you lose the scholarship, though?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

He didn't finish. I lost scholarship. I lost a scholarship because August, like, two weeks before school was supposed to start. I had got. I was leaving, like, my mom's side. He bought all my dorm stuff and all of that. All my life. My father always said, yeah, when you get 18, you gonna have money. You can go get your car, you can go do what you want. You go to school, whatever the case may be. All right, cool. I get 18, I graduate. There's nothing there. I asked my father. I'm like, there's still no answer. The father never even answered. So, mind you, I knew I got a scholarship, a partial scholarship. So a partial scholarship with the. You paying the school and on. And room and board. That's at the school I was going to, that was about 16, 17,000 a semester. I had, like, a $42,000 partial joint. So my dad was always saying, all right, I got a rest. I got the rest. So two weeks before I was supposed to leave. So a month before I was supposed to leave, my family got all my dorm stuff. A week before I was supposed to leave, my father called me up to the room, and he, like, I ain't even gonna say what he said. I'm like, he like, you can't go to school. I'm like, why not? Like, nigga, I'm an A student. Like, I work hard for this. I was an athlete. I was a student. I ain't get no offers from basketball my junior, senior year. So I gave up and said, fuck it. I'm gonna fall back on my grades. You always said I had the money. The money wasn't there. He spent it all. And, you know, we turned 18, like 17 and a half, it stopped coming. But even if it come again when I'm 18, that's one check, all the rest gone. And my stepmother used to always tell her, and I love my stepmother for this, and I wish I'd have known this when I was younger. But my stepmother used to always tell them, put that money up. But she never came to me because she didn't want to overstep the boundaries of her husband. And I understood it. But now that I'm grown and we have conversations now, it's, like, understood it. Because my father always tried to make people hate me. I hated my step. Yeah, I hated my stepmother growing up, but it was never her. It was him. Lights ain't get cut off. We had Christmases. Cause of my stepmom, my dudes got paid. My senior dudes. I'm talking about my middle school dudes. Mind you, bro, you getting money for me and my middle school dudes. My stepmother paid them. My stepmother and my teachers paid them. Wow. High school dudes. My stepmother paid them. And my friends. I got two friends, their mother's paid all that. So it was like, my dad really crushed me, man. I told my dad a couple weeks ago, man, I said, bro, you hate me. Not literally saying you hate me, but you hate me so much because I got you. I caught your ways. I said, but the difference between me, I'm young and I'm changing. I'm gonna change them. You 20 years older than me, you still doing the same thing, right? You want to break those cycles, and I want to. And not even me breaking a cycle, bro. I just. I don't like being like this. Like, I don't like hurting people. I don't like hurting women. I don't like. I never really hurt. I'm so loyal to my friends that any little disloyal thing they do to me, they cut off. So it's like, the shit be hurting, man. And it's like, damn, I already had nobody. So then when I got a child, mom, I cherish it. And I tell her, bro, trash the really ones you love. The really ones that's genuinely there for you. The ones that you ain't got to do nothing for them that really love you. Because guess what? At the end of the day, when shit go. If shit go bad, they gonna be the ones you count on.

[Rome]

You know, there's this thing when you start going to therapy, you'll hear about it. It's this thing called the mother wound. And it's a type of attachment Trauma that instills deeply rooted beliefs that make the child feel unloved, abandoned, unworthy of care, and numb to their feelings. Does that feel like you?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Maslow loss. Maslow loss. It's done to you as a child, will affect you as an adult, but it will not define you.

[Rome]

That's right.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

So it's like, it's crazy because going to school is like, man, you reading this, I'm like, man, it's me. It's me. Like, you know, I'm thinking of my own therapist, but, you know, every therapist needs a therapist, and that's how they. That's how they able to be effective. So it was like, man, like, I've been through. I ain't have a bad upbringing, but I've been through some traumatic situations, man, and, you know, like, I. I ain't gonna define me. Like, them babies in mine, man, I love them babies. I feel like if it wasn't for my babies, I'd have crashed out long time ago. Long time ago. And that's what I say. I got them babies. And out of all my. I got two children, moms like that, my last one, you know, she. She ain't no harm by certain things, but I got that one. And I got this one to my left, man, my dog. And it's like, she gave me hope every day, and she don't even know it. Like, even when, you know, we might not even argue, but like, every days I wake up, she doing you all right? How you feeling? Just because I know that she needed. Like, when you. When you. When you the. The shoulders and the head of families or communities, bro, like, it's a lot. You know, honestly, I think them people needed the most. So I give her her flowers every day, and I feel like, man, like, without her.

[Rome]

Yeah, I think you're on the right path. You know, they say healing the mother wound first starts with acknowledging the pain.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Correct.

[Rome]

And then seeking professional help, which you want to do. Cultivating healthy relationships, which. Which y'all have done. And you focusing on self care and personal growth.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah, that's right.

[Rome]

So you want. You're definitely on the right path.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

It's gonna get there, man. It's time. Take time, you know, but it'll be there.

[Rome]

How did y'all. That's the most Thing. The most. I won't say most important, but one of the most important things. How did y'all realize we don't have feelings for each other no more? Like, how did that just go away? Like, y'all have y'all love Each other, but not in that way.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I got my answer. You wanna go first?

[Jess]

You can go first. What's yours?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Cause I'm still thinking when I stopped caring about who she dealt with, when I wouldn't even, like, I wouldn't even care. Like, how long did that take? Oh, about three years. So, like, when Ashlyn was like, three.

[Jess]

Yeah. He was still, like, really young.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah, it was like three years. But at that. But honestly, that three years, like, I had caught a big check. So it was like, you know, I was almost half a million dollar nigga. So it was like. It was the pain that I had. Whatever the case may be, I would pay. I would, like, just buy shit to block it out. But other than that.

[Rome]

Like, you ain't trying to stun on her a little bit?

[Jess]

Oh, no, definitely.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No, I never. No, I never.

[Jess]

I'm waiting for that.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I never intentionally stunted on her. I never did that. Never.

[Jess]

Okay.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I did everything she possibly could ask me to do. And she said on one of these shows, something about a BGE bill. And I'm addressed. That I never wanted to address.

[Jess]

That was on our show. That was on co Parents and rappers.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I'm address that now.

[Rome]

That's Electric Bill.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I'm explaining it. Her lights got cut off.

[DJ Envy]

You just got a $500,000 check.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

And you look, listen. No, it wasn't right then and there, okay? But it's over time. Because mind you. Because I do like, mind you a lot of my place. She helped me. She helped me get a lot on the back end. But in a time like, I helped her, whatever the case. I didn't know she was moving with a man.

[Jess]

I didn't move with a man.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Well, she moved the man in with her.

[Jess]

Yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

After, After.

[Rome]

So he had you in the dark too?

[Jess]

No, no, no. This was at.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

This was before I met him in her business. So I don't know that he not there. So, boom, here's the his. So here's his. Here's my logic. And I'mma say what I'm gonna say to her after I explain it. My logic was, all right, man is in the house. Boom. The b E get cut off, right? I'm thinking like, damn. So she like, well, Rome. I'm like, well, I take my son with me. But that wasn't me talking. That was the girlfriend I had talking.

[Jess]

Oh, shit. You ain't tell me that.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I never told you that. Because as a woman, you ain't trying to hear that. And I just want. As a man and you being me I don't want to hear that. So I didn't want to tell you that because I'd have felt less of a man.

[Rome]

Unball your fist, Jess.

[DJ Envy]

So, yeah, but not for nothing, I understand him. If somebody else is smacking the cheeks, you pay.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

So listen. So the girlfriend was like, you're not.

[DJ Envy]

Living in that house.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

So the girlfriend was like, don't talk about no house. So listen now, go ahead. So the girlfriend was like, I took a certain amount of money out the bank. I did. She was with me. She like, mind you, the certain amount of money I had to call because I was gonna break it in half, give it to Jessica, and I take the rest. And I was going, me and Ashton. Me and Ashton. That's all I did. Shot me and Ashton. So I was gonna give it that. But the girl like, why you giving it to Jessica? I'm like, cause she need it.

[Jess]

And she like, oh, I'm here. Cause the amount of.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I never said the reason. I never said the reason. Yeah, yeah. I never said the reason, though. She was like, what exactly does she need? Cause I know you ain't giving her no, she don't need a bag or nothing like that. I'm like, no, it's something else. She like, well, don't she got a nigga living with her? And mind you, I'm drinking at the time.

[DJ Envy]

You thinking the same thing.

[Jess]

I'm like, you weren't even thinking that till she said it.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I wasn't thinking it, but I'm drinking. But when she say it. Because I'm not. Like I said, bro, like wives and girlfriends. I seen. I've seen. I've seen men crumble and go against their family because of a wife or a girlfriend. I seen it and I'm like, you know what? You right.

[Rome]

Why you ain't asked Jess, though, Crazy. Why you need to pick up the phone and say, jess, what's up with you?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Because I was a young emotional boy.

[Jess]

Who had just ran into a bunch of money. And a bunch of bitches came with that.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No nothing. Fuck the bitches every. My nigga, I'm hurt. My hurt young man got a lot of money. Everybody done me over, nigga, I got some money. I'm doing what the fuck I wanted. I'll make myself happy. And that's how nigga went broke. Like, it was times where I'm not happy, but I go spend money just. Cause I'm not like, oh, that car just came out. I like that.

[Jess]

Everybody except me fucks you over. You feel me?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Except Her. So that was how it's like. And granted, right now on today, I'm gonna say I truly, sincerely apologize for not taking care of you the way I should have. And I'm gonna take my glasses off because for a long time, that shit hurt me. And it's like I never ever, ever, especially you. I never, ever, ever, ever meant to do that to you. And it's like now that's why I even. I work so hard today and just try to even. Just give you something. But in due time, that shit gonna come back. I ain't. You know, I done made that back. Went broke again. Made it back, went broke again. But my biggest downfall, the Commons den, it was alcohol and women. So that shit, them two problems, never allowed me to really reach my full potential. Because even when I seen. A couple years ago, you seen it, 2019, when I was single, when I went, moved back by myself, I ran that motherfucker up.

[Jess]

Flourish.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I ran that bitch up. That's one thing I know how to do. I'm running up. But it be women holding me back to somebody. I'm sorry that I didn't do what I was supposed to do. And a lot of motherfuckers say, well, that wasn't your job. That one, your daughter. I felt that was my duty. But because I had certain people in my ear that I thought had their best interest in me. But when that bag ran out, they left. Yeah, I'm sorry. And I'm not a sorry person. I apologize.

[Jess]

Okay, I appreciate that. But listen, I was not. I was talking to a nigga. He moved in months after. You think a n was gonna move into a dark house? You think I wanted a nigga to see how I was living? No. And when you say I asked you like, yo, can you just get my. My lights on? I'll pay you back. That's when I was scamming and doing all that shit. That shit got slow, too. So I'm like, all right. You was like, nah, I take my son. Nobody taking my kid, not even his father. Like, as long as Ash wasn't scared of the dark, we was good. You know what I'm saying? Like, I still had candles. We was playing. We was doing all that. We would stay outside.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That turned you up a notch.

[Jess]

Until it went. Until it got dark. And then we would go in the house. And he ain't never asked me why the lights ain't coming on. It don't matter. So as long as he was good, I was good. I just wanted to be able to call you baby. You know what I'm saying? And just be like, yo, get my life on me.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

And you should have. But guess what? That made you a demon. And when I say demon, I say it in the best way that turns you up. And you, like, I teach my kids, especially my oldest boy, my 11 year old bro, like, I don't want you to have to go through something bad to learn a lesson.

[Jess]

Right.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I don't think everybody should have to go through something bad and learn a lesson.

[Jess]

Right.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

But in your case, I feel like, yeah, that put that battery in your back. And no, when that battery came in your back, you ain't. You ain't treat me no way.

[Jess]

Nope.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

It took still a minute for us to create that bond.

[Jess]

Yeah.

[Rome]

But y'all have it now. And I think y'all both should give each other some grace. Cause y'all was dumb young.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah. Correct. Yeah. And I always was a hurt young man, so. Right.

[DJ Envy]

But I love this story because it shows the foundation and how y'all are now.

[Jess]

Yeah.

[DJ Envy]

And how y'all treat each other now. You know, I don't know you, but the way she talks about you on the radio. And like you said, she is a mother. She protects you. She holds you down.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I just love to see it.

[Jess]

Yeah.

[Rome]

No, sometimes I be telling her to stop talking about Rome like that.

[Jess]

He always do. But it's like, why you be talking about Rome?

[Rome]

But I get it. She don't mean no harm by.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No, she don't. She don't mean no harm. Like I said, man, I wish a lot of other people would take from us. And that's why this shit gotta be on tv.

[Rome]

That's why y'all writing a book.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah. Book coming. Everything coming. Yes, everything coming, man.

[Rome]

I think the most important thing, because I want y'all to save a lot of this. But what's the most important thing it takes to co parent? If y'all just leave it on that. Because it's national co parenting Day.

[Jess]

Yo, I think I started off communication. Like, a lot of people be scared to hurt each other feelings. And a lot of people be afraid to have uncomfortable conversations, whether it's about kids, unhashed differences, whatever. Like, one day me and Rome just literally met up and we just talked about everything that, you know. He felt like I did him wrong in certain situations. And then he felt like I will always try. Cause he says I'm controlling a lot. And I do take that. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. I own that. I do. Like, I Was trying to control how he parents sometimes, like how he would raise Ash and all of that type of stuff. We just put everything on the table and just, just was like, all right, you're moving forward. Because it's really about Ash. And that's really like when we. After that it was like, no looking back. It's like, all right, whatever, cool.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Piece of cake.

[Jess]

It was just communication, but it takes.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I think it's a couple things, man. Communication, feelings out of it, ego out of it.

[Jess]

Ego for sure.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

And just, man, both parties gotta be in it though, man. Like I feel like, you know now like even at my kids school and shit, man, like they ain't used to the man. I think that's fucked up.

[Jess]

Your job kids that you teach?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No, at school. My children, My own children.

[Jess]

Oh yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I feel like, you know, the father is not a norm. So I always been. I ain't. It's not. I didn't say I'm a change the norm, but I've changed it on like, it's me. You ain't gotta call the mother. You know that DMX son, call your father. Yeah, that's me. Call me, don't call them mothers. I'm hands on. I'm gonna be there. And my oldest, 11 man, I done sat to school, sat in the class with them the whole day.

[Jess]

They called you. But Ash called me on the side. Ash, like my dad was up here.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

It's too much.

[Jess]

Can you come up?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

But that was the thing too. She had to learn. Don't, don't, don't try to take the father from the child. Let me father him. Because I refuse for my son to become a statistic. I refuse for my son to become a young, hurt little boy. I refuse for my son to grow up not knowing how to love a woman. I refuse my son to be so many things that his father was. And I'm still young, so I'm still. You know, I told Naya earlier, I said, man, like, you know, one of my. I'm gonna write my right. I'm gonna write my rights to you. My boys. I got girls.

[Rome]

You still unlearning you unlearning right now?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Correct, Correct.

[Rome]

You unlearning to learn when it's co.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Parenting ain't easy, man.

[Jess]

And I used to be, I used to be hard on him. How he was so hard on my son. Like, no, like you like Ash gotta wanna talk to you. You gotta make him want to talk to you. Like Ash, he used to like come and talk to me about things. He was scared to go to his father about not cause it was any abusive relationships or anything. It was just like, I can't talk.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

To daddy knows my son was my son problem. And like I said, I'm creating a young man. My son's problem was he don't like confront. Not confrontation, but he don't like to confront a man. And when I say that, me, his father, he don't like to. And I tell him, I said, bro, if you don't like something, you tell me. I'm not like my father. Oh, shut the fuck up. Oh, I'm your father? You. Nah, no, ain't none of that same, bro. We go to McDonald's and I'll be like, all right, do you six. Oh, Dad, I don't want that. All right, what you want? It's the same concept. I get his head done, now he want hair. Oh, dad, I don't like that. Tell me, don't go back and tell your mother. That's when I'm getting mad because you was just with me and I just asked you and you ain't say nothing.

[Rome]

You want the communication?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I want to communicate. And when you communicate with me, you look me in my eyes and tell me, dad, I don't want this. You ain't got to be disrespectful when you say it. I said, my baby getting better, but I'm here. So it's like, I don't know, man. It's not hard. It's easy. It's fun.

[Jess]

You do have to make it a little.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I make it a little bit, but.

[Jess]

It'S like, I don't like to do that.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

It's just, man, like, I don't know. As a mom, it's different than when a dad raised him. I'm doing everything that I wanted. I wanted my father to come up my school. I wanted my dad to talk to me. I wanted my dad to ask me what I wanted. I wanted my dad to come to my basketball game, my baseball game. My dad been to one baseball game out of four years. Two basketball games out of four years.

[Rome]

You just gotta make sure you're raising your child out of love.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

And I don't wanna live for him. And that's that. I was scared of my father. My bang in my mouth. That's why I gotta bust the lip.

[Rome]

Most of our fathers raised us out of fear. Most of our fathers raised us out of fear. Cause they didn't want us to end up going down the same path they went down. So we gotta figure out how to raise our kids out of love.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

But you know, with moms, moms get this. And I think I got that. And I told my dad a couple weeks ago, bro, like, you know, he. Because he always kind of moved with my father. My father said, I don't want to hear that. I tell him straight up, I'm mad now. You ain't gonna tell me. Shut the up. I don't want to hear that. Your father wasn't a father. He was a provider. I'm a nurturer. I'm a dad. I'm a father. I nurture my baby.

[Jess]

And even your response to your dad is angry.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah, because he always out of. My response to my dad is what he's. He's given to me now. Like, I'm a man now, so it's like, bro, I don't have to take that shit. I leave.

[Jess]

But he's trying to explain.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

He's trying to explain.

[Jess]

He's just now figuring it out too.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

He still ain't figured it out. So it's like, if you in the room and it's me and being in the room, because, you know, I don't call you about this type of stuff, but this, me being in the room, it ain't. It's. He. It's a different story, man.

[Rome]

I got somebody for you to talk to him. I got a therapist. I got a good therapist.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I got a lot of them. No, no, no. And I'm not saying it like that. No.

[Rome]

I'm talking about a real professional and I got a real.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yes, they black requires.

[Rome]

I think I got somebody in mind for you.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I want a woman.

[Rome]

You want a woman? All right, I got you.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I don't like men.

[Rome]

Gotchas. I got you. I got you. I know exactly who you should talk to.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That's cool, man. You know, I'm always open to it, man, but, you know, other than that, like, you gotta want it for yourself. And do you. You know, I've been there, man. Okay, cut back. You know, my biggest thing was just cutting back on the alcohol. Like, now I do it for recreation.

[Jess]

Well, thank you, Envy for.

[Rome]

Thank you for.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

This is recreation drink.

[DJ Envy]

But I put it as coffee. I didn't.

[Jess]

Don't drink no coffee. That n. Got you.

[Rome]

This was a great conversation. I'm sure it's a discussion that'll continue on, not even just amongst, you know, Jess and Rome, but just amongst anybody out there that's right, you know, dealing with co parenting issues. But I think Rome, you know, Rome is talking to a lot of different issues that a lot of us men go through. You know what I mean? So I'm happy that you was vulnerable this morning.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That's right.

[Jess]

Thank you.

[Rome]

You know what I mean.

[DJ Envy]

Well, there you have it.

[Rome]

And their book is coming soon via Black Privilege Publish Simon and Schuster.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Love you more, sis.

[DJ Envy]

All right. Well, it's Rome.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yes.

[DJ Envy]

It's the Breakfast Club. Good morning.

[Rome]

Wake that ass up in the morning the Breakfast Club.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You wake up, put on your Ray Ban Meta glasses. You're living all in. You realize you need coffee so you say, hey Meta, how do I make.

[Narrator]

A latte brew two shots of espresso?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

After Meta AI gets you caffeinated, you're ready for some beats. Hey Meta. Play hip hop music. You head to meet some friends but can't remember the place. Hey Meta. Call Eva Ray Ban Meta glasses. The next generation of AI glasses. Just say hey Meta. To harness the power of Meta AI, shop now at meta.com smartglasses Looking for excitement?

[Narrator]

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[Charlamagne Tha God]

Seek terms and conditions.

[Jess]

8.