Best of full interview: Rome & Jess Hilarious Unpack Their Co-Parenting Relationship

Summary

The Breakfast Club – Best of Full Interview: Rome & Jess Hilarious Unpack Their Co-Parenting Relationship

Original Air Date: December 25, 2025

---

Main Theme / Purpose

This “Best Of” episode of The Breakfast Club features hosts DJ Envy, Charlamagne Tha God, and Jess Hilarious sitting down with Rome, Jess’s co-parent and close friend. Timed with National Co-Parenting Day, the discussion draws out their journey from young, tumultuous parents to a model co-parenting team, marked by transparency, growth, and hard-won friendship. The conversation covers their dramatic past, lessons in forgiveness, evolving family dynamics, the impact of Rome and Jess’s individual upbringings, and how they now support each other while raising their son. The episode is candid, heartfelt, and often very funny, blending life lessons with the energetic, playful tone The Breakfast Club is known for.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. How Rome & Jess Met and Their Early Days

• Both grew up in the same church but didn’t connect until later in life on Facebook, where Rome sent a basketball emoji as an icebreaker.
  • “[Rome]: I was just coming to get my ball. Coming to get what's mine. Something like that.” (06:02)
  • “[Jessica]: I just typed that back. And he was like…‘I'm coming to get what's mine.’ And I was like, oh, okay. What's up? I already knew what that was.” (06:35)
• Their first major date was at Six Flags, and Jess played a big part in shaping Rome’s early adulthood.
  • “She introduced me to a lot, actually. We both was the same age, but she helped make me become…becoming a man.” – Rome (08:16)

2. Their Infamous Breakup & Early Co-parenting Drama

• The pair relive a wild, dramatic story involving jealousy, broken car windows, and a stint in jail—all told with humor and a bit of disagreement about the details.
  • “[Charlamagne]: She busted your windows out your car, man.” (09:04)
  • “[Jessica]: I went to jail that night.” (12:51)
  • “[Rome]: But I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, you know, I was sick.” (13:59)
  • Rome owned up to struggling with letting go, “[Rome]: When I stopped caring about who she dealt with, when I wouldn’t even care.” (37:37)

3. Building a Deep, Platonic Friendship

• Over time, their focus shifted exclusively to their son, enabling them to form a relationship that Jess describes as “sibling-like.”
  • “[Jessica]: Oh yeah. Rome started that. Rome started calling me sis first, and then I started calling him bro…we do have, like, a sibling dynamic in some way.” (17:51)
• They serve as each other’s support system—even when life gets messy.
  • “[Rome]: She's always been my safe space…sometimes, all the time, I need it.” (05:06)

4. Evolving Co-parenting Approaches

• Both speak on mistakes, learning to communicate, and relinquishing control.
  • “[Jessica]: We just put everything on the table…‘cause it's really about Ash [their son]. After that, it was no looking back.” (45:22)
  • “[Rome]: Communication, feelings out of it, ego out of it. And just…both parties gotta be in it…” (46:16)
• Letting go of possessiveness over their child as trust grew.
  • “[Rome]: I trust my child mom enough…that she won't bring nobody around my child.” (20:06)

5. Challenges from Their Own Upbringings

• Rome shares how the early loss of his mother and complicated relationship with his father shaped emotional struggles, vulnerability, and the desire for connection.
  • “[Rome]: I was really never taught how to love. Like, I lost my mom at 10 years old…My trust issues is fucked up from my dad.” (21:50)
  • “[Charlamagne]: …It's this thing called the mother wound…Does that feel like you? [Rome]: Maslow loss. Maslow loss. It's done to you as a child, will affect you as an adult, but it will not define you.” (35:49)
• Admits that some of his father’s poor financial decisions disadvantaged him.
  • “[Rome]: My dad really crushed me, man…you hate me so much because I got you…I caught your ways. But the difference between me, I'm young and I'm changing.” (34:38)

6. Accountability, Regrets, and Healing

• Rome apologizes publicly for not stepping up during Jess’s time of need, showing vulnerability and willingness to grow.
  • “[Rome]: I'm gonna say I truly, sincerely apologize for not taking care of you the way I should have…especially you. I never, ever, ever, ever meant to do that to you.” (41:38)
  • “[Jessica]: I appreciate that…Nobody taking my kid, not even his father. As long as Ash wasn't scared of the dark, we was good.” (43:05)
• Both emphasize forgiveness, learning from hardship, and the importance of mutual support.

7. Parenting Philosophy & The Next Generation

• Rome is breaking cycles of absentee or harsh fatherhood, determined to parent with love, presence, and communication.
  • “[Rome]: I refuse for my son to become a statistic…I don't want you to go through something bad to learn a lesson.” (47:14)
  • “[Rome]: You gotta make sure you raising your child outta love…I’m a nurturer. I'm a dad. I'm a father. I nurture my baby.” (49:33)
  • “[Charlamagne]: Most of our fathers raised us out of fear…We gotta figure out how to raise our kids out of love.” (49:40)
• Challenges of earning a son’s trust and encouraging open communication.
  • “[Rome]: My son problem was he don't like to confront a man…if you don't like something, you tell me…I want the communication.” (48:07)

8. Advice for Co-Parents

• The core of their advice: honest communication, setting ego aside, and prioritizing the child.
  • “[Jessica]: Communication…be scared to hurt each other feelings…put everything on the table—you're moving forward ‘cause it’s really about the kid.” (45:22)
  • “[Rome]: Communication, feelings out of it, ego out of it. Both parties gotta be in it.” (46:16)

9. Looking Ahead: Projects and Representation

• Jess and Rome are working on a book to share their co-parenting journey and hope to inspire others.
  • “[Rome]: I wish a lot of other people would take from us…and that's why this got to be on tv…Book coming. Everything. Yes, Everything coming.” (45:06)

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

| Timestamp | Speaker | Quote / Moment | |---------------|---------------------|--------------------------------------------------------------------| | 05:06 | Rome | “She's always been my safe space…sometimes, all the time, I need it.” | | 09:04 | Charlamagne | “She busted your windows out your car, man.” | | 13:59 | Rome | “But I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, you know, I was sick.” | | 17:51 | Jessica | “Rome started calling me sis first…we do have, like, a sibling dynamic…” | | 20:06 | Rome | “I trust my child mom enough to…she won't bring nobody around my child.”| | 21:50 | Rome | “I was really never taught how to love. Like, I lost my mom at 10 years old…My trust issues is fucked up from my dad.” | | 35:49 | Charlamagne/Rome | “It's this thing called the mother wound…Does that feel like you? [Rome]: Maslow loss. Maslow loss. It's done to you as a child, will affect you as an adult, but it will not define you.” | | 41:38 | Rome (to Jess) | “I truly, sincerely apologize for not taking care of you the way I should have…especially you. I never, ever, ever, ever meant to do that to you.” | | 45:22 | Jessica | “We just put everything on the table…‘cause it's really about Ash [their son]. After that, it was no looking back.” | | 46:16 | Rome | “Communication, feelings out of it, ego out of it. And just…both parties gotta be in it…” | | 47:14 | Rome | “I refuse for my son to become a statistic…I refuse for my son to become a young, hurt little boy.” | | 49:40 | Charlamagne | “Most of our fathers raised us out of fear…We gotta figure out how to raise our kids out of love.” | | 51:29 | Charlamagne | “[Rome] is talking to a lot of different issues that a lot of us men go through…happy you was vulnerable this morning.” |

---

Timestamps for Significant Segments

• 03:10 – Introduction & Setup
  Rome joins; National Co-Parenting Day context.
• 05:55 – Co-Parenting Journey Begins
  How they reached their current relationship and Rome as a “safe space.”
• 06:49 – Facebook Flirting and Early Relationship
  The origin of their romance.
• 09:04 – Iconic Breakup Story & Jail Night
  Wild story of drama, jealousy, and moving beyond it.
• 17:51 – Sibling-like Bond and Platonic Love
  How their relationship moved to platonic but deep.
• 21:50 – Childhood Wounds, Role Models, and Learning to Love
  Rome’s background, emotional struggles, and accountability.
• 41:38 – Public Apology and Growth
  Rome's open apology and reflection on financial and emotional support.
• 45:22 – How They Built a Strong Co-Parenting Partnership
  Conversations, mutual accountability, and putting the child first.
• 47:14 – Breaking Cycles in Parenting
  Rome’s commitment to being a present, nurturing father.
• 49:40 – Raising Kids Out of Love, Not Fear
  Final thoughts on healthy fatherhood.

---

Tone & Language

The episode is conversational, raw, and filled with humor—even in the retelling of hard times. There’s plenty of playful tension, inside jokes, and mutual roasting, but always with underlying love and respect. The vulnerability and authenticity, especially from Rome, give the episode its emotional core.

---

Summary for Non-Listeners

The conversation between Rome and Jess Hilarious, guided by DJ Envy and Charlamagne, is more than just about co-parenting—it’s a layered exploration of forgiveness, cycles of trauma, personal transformation, and resilience. Starting as volatile young parents, Rome and Jess have built a friendship rooted in trust and communication, prioritizing their child above their own issues. Both are candid about their mistakes, pain, and ongoing healing, making the episode not just entertaining but deeply instructive for anyone facing similar challenges. They advocate for putting egos aside, embracing uncomfortable conversations, and making the child’s well-being central.

The episode stands out for its blend of humor, vulnerability, real talk on therapy and personal growth, and practical wisdom for parents who want to evolve beyond their own upbringings. Their journey is now set to be shared in a forthcoming book, hoping to inspire other co-parents.

Transcript

[Jessica]

This is an Iheart podcast. Guaranteed human peace of the planet.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Charlamagne Tha God here. And the end of the year is the time to set the foundation for next year. New ideas, new product drops, new goals. And when I'm building anything meaningful, I need the right tools. That's why I always tell folks, especially black entrepreneurs and small black owned businesses, Shopify is the move. We use it at the Black Effect Podcast Network. And I've seen firsthand how it helps creators and business owners grow with confidence. Okay, Shopify is like having a whole team behind you. You, your chief of staff, your personal assistant, your co founder, all in one platform. Wherever your people are, Shopify makes sure your business can meet them where they're at. So if you're ready to take the next step in your life, whether it's merch products or anything in between, get on shopify.com ben and make it happen. It is time to stop putting off your future and start your new role as your own boss today.

[Rome]

Whoa, what a vibe we've got, y'.

[Sophie Cunningham]

All.

[Rome]

As always, it's classic HBCU energy. Nonstop action, the band is rocking and the crowd lit. Chants echoing, drums beating, everybody showing that school pride. Moments like this, yeah, they call for an ice cold Coca Cola. Crisp and refreshing. That's a game changer right there. Mm, yeah, that taste always hit the right note just like the band at halftime. Passionate fans, school colors everywhere and an ice cold Coca Cola. That's a winning combo. No matter the place, no matter the moment. Everybody knows fan work is thirsty work. So grab a Coca Cola and and keep that HBCU pride going.

[LG Gram Advertiser]

Did you know Microsoft has officially ended Support for Windows 10 upgrade to Windows 11 with an LG Gram laptop? Voted PCMag's Reader's Choice top laptop brand for 2025. Thin and ultra lightweight, the LG Gram keeps you productive anywhere. And Windows 11 gives you access to free security updates and ongoing feature upgrades. Visit lgusa.com iheart for great seasonal savings on LG Gram laptops with Windows 11. PCMag reader's choice. Used with permission. All rights reserved.

[Sophie Cunningham]

This is Sophie Cunningham from Show Me Something. Do you know the symptoms of moderate to severe obstructive sleep apnea or OSA in adults with obesity, they may be happening to you without you knowing. If anyone has ever said you snored loudly, or if you spend your days fighting off excessive tiredness, irritability and concentration issues, it may be due to osa. OSA is a serious condition where your airway partially or completely collapses during sleep, which may cause breathing interruptions and oxygen deprivation. Learn more at don'tsleep on OSA.com this information is provided by Lilly, a medicine company.

[Rome]

So you're telling me that the AI that's meant to make everyone's job easier to manage just adds more to manage? On top of the thousands of apps the IT department already manages? Funny how that works. Any business can add AI. IBM helps you scale and manage AI to change how you do business. Let's create Smile to Business IBM. Wake that ass up early in the morning. The Breakfast Club.

[DJ Envy]

Morning, everybody. It's DJ Envy. Jess. Hilarious Charlamagne the guy. We are the Breakfast Club. We got a special guest in the building.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Cause today is national co parenting day. So we had to bring in a man who I feel like him and Jess have one of the best co parenting relationships I've ever seen.

[DJ Envy]

That's right.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Rome is here.

[DJ Envy]

Rome is here.

[Jessica]

What's up, Rome?

[DJ Envy]

I got in trouble already, Rome.

[Rome]

Cause of you. You got a tune already.

[DJ Envy]

I got in trouble causing you already.

[Rome]

Why?

[DJ Envy]

What happened? Just say, I want to know who gave Rome some liquor this morning. And I was like, I ain't give it to him. I just told him where the bar was.

[Rome]

And I said, help yourself.

[DJ Envy]

Help yourself.

[Rome]

Yeah, that's fine.

[Jessica]

And you said it was apple juice. And so I was about to take.

[Rome]

A sip and I was like, uh, it was not. You already knew it wasn't apple juice. I just ain't think you was gonna pick the cup up.

[Jessica]

Okay.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You and Jess have the best co parenting situation I've ever witnessed. How did y' all get to this point?

[Rome]

Rome, she thinks she my mother first and foremost. Okay. But it took time. It took time. I felt like when you take the feelings out of it and you realize that the child is the most important part of the relationship because it's still a ratio whether y' all intimate or not. You can do magical things. Magical things. And I think that me being a dad, that I was and that I am still today, I wanted that. I felt like if we wasn't gonna be together, there was no need for us to beef. We've created over time. Whereas now she's my best friend. She's. She's my safe space. I feel like, you know, I can vent to her because sometimes, all the time, I need it. But I feel like when I was pouring into these other women, they would use it against me. Whereas, though, now. And now that she's pregnant, I don't really call her and say Certain things, because I know she's going through certain things mentally now. So. Jess has always been my safe space, though. So it's like she's always been the person that I go to. I call, give me advice, some advice I don't take. But just to hear. But just to hear her give it to me, just to know that she care. Because, like, man, I don't really have nobody.

[DJ Envy]

How did y' all meet? How did you meet Jess? And how did y' all start dating back then?

[Rome]

Like, what did you see?

[DJ Envy]

And when it was like, oh, this is somebody I wanna holl at.

[Rome]

It's crazy, because we grew up starting to smile.

[DJ Envy]

He's starting to smile. He gonna lie.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Nah.

[Rome]

Cause we grew up in the same church, but we didn't know. No, we didn't know. My mom. When my mom was alive. My mom died when I was 10. When my mom was alive, we. We went to the same church. My mom died. My father, like, really took me away from everybody. So now it's like, fast forward. I'm like, 17. It's Facebook now. It's after MySpace. It's Facebook. And she came across my timeline, and I was like, okay, so I did a dot, dot, dot, and I put a basketball emoji.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Oh, you thought she was a WNBA player?

[Rome]

No. Shut up, man.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Little junior varsity.

[DJ Envy]

Nah, he played with you.

[Rome]

Nah, she bit on it, too.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Okay.

[Rome]

She bit. She was like, what? I forgot what she said, but I was like. I was just. I think I was like, I'm just coming to get my ball. Coming to get what's mine. Something like that.

[Jessica]

I said, what the fuck is this? And you.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Why the basketball room? I need to know.

[Rome]

I seen it somewhere.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

What? Loving basketball?

[Rome]

No, I seen somebody do that. Like, I don't know where I seen it, man. You gotta understand, this.

[Jessica]

A basketball in the messages.

[Rome]

This is 11 years.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Okay? 12.

[Rome]

12 years ago. So I'm like, I don't know. I did it because I thought it was corny, but I thought it was, you know. But it worked. It got our attention.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

What'd you think, Jess, when you saw the basketball?

[Jessica]

I just. I said, what the is this?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Okay.

[Jessica]

I just typed that back. And he was like. He said it was my ball. It's my ball, and I'm coming to get. I'm coming to get it or something. Like, I'm coming to get was mine. And I was like, oh, okay, what's up? I already knew what that was. Given what it was, it worked. Okay, what's up?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

But it worked, though. It worked.

[Rome]

It worked.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

So y' all started talking.

[DJ Envy]

Where was your first date? What was your first. When you started first talking to what.

[Rome]

Was your honest man. Jessica did a lot of. I' ma say this before. A lot of these young guys became Jody. I was Jody. And our first date, big date. I'm gonna say it was Six Flags.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Okay, okay, okay. All right. I'm doing it big.

[Rome]

I never had a birth certificate that my mom died. It was here. My dad didn't want to come here to get it.

[Jessica]

In New York.

[DJ Envy]

In New York.

[Rome]

In New York.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Because you was born in Brooklyn, right?

[Rome]

I was going to Staten Island.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Staten Island.

[Rome]

Okay. So my dad didn't want to get it. So for a long time, I just had a college id. I was driving on a college id. But Jessica was the simplest one to let me drive with no ID I met with no license. You know, I was responsible, though. So I used to work at the car wash. I used to clean it, shine it up, gel in the tires, and hold nine yards. But our first date was Six Flags that morning. I went to get my permit before we left for Six Flags, but I failed. I went in there on my high horses. That's why I failed at first biggest. The driving test, it was written, but it was computer. But written. Yeah, written.

[DJ Envy]

That test is difficult. I go from it. That test is difficult.

[Rome]

I failed the one where it said, put on your high beams or your low bangs when it's raining or something like that, or when is the ground most slippery.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Did you have shades on when you took the test?

[Rome]

Nah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Okay.

[Rome]

I ain't really wear shades like that. Then. Okay, I did, but they was another, you know. Yeah. But first big date, Six Flags. But before that, we did a lot of other things. But after that, it was. We did a lot. Like. She introduced me to a lot, actually. We both was the same age, but she helped make me become. Well, got through. Becoming a man. Yeah, Becoming a man. And then. Yeah. Then boom.

[DJ Envy]

Now, Jess always says that you are. You were overprotective. Made sure she was good. But then she always said, you can't fight.

[Jessica]

Oh, my God.

[Rome]

No, she never seen me fight. Oh, I never had to.

[Jessica]

From. We. We fought. I got that from.

[Rome]

She did say that. Of course. I'm not gonna fight her, bro. Oh, it's crazy. Cause I just got a picture from the window. You busta mines.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

She busted your windows out your car, man.

[Rome]

No, one window. With her fists.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

What?

[DJ Envy]

What happened? Oh, you can't be her then. If she could break a window from her fist. I wouldn't even try to fight that.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

What happened?

[Sophie Cunningham]

Rome?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Rome had to take a sip. Thinking about that, that's triggering to him. What happened?

[Rome]

What happened? You want to know? Real, real story? Oh, God. All right. I was just talking about. I was just in North Carolina this weekend. I just was talking about this, like, how my stepbrothers was, like, corny and right. My step, like, Jessica pull up. Mind you, we ain't together. Jessica pulls up. I had a girl in the house. So my. My brother, like, he come to the top of the steps, like, wrong. Just at the door, I'm like, all right, here I come. The don't even wait for me to come. He let her in. He let her in. Oh, boy. Mind you, I walked right past him and his friends with the girl. Jessica, get in, count down the steps. Murder. She rolled.

[Jessica]

But what did I see when I walked down the steps?

[Rome]

Jerome, you didn't see.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

So.

[Rome]

And then she tries to forsage this story. Ashton. I had a portable rocking bassinet where I could put it in the trunk, send it to her, bring it back. Ashton was in a portable rocking joint. Me and the girl was on the bed. I had on basketball shorts. She had on her uniform pants. She gonna sit. She's been saying this. Uniform pants.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

She was in the military.

[Rome]

Co. She was the co. This is correctional officer. Was she in the military? She's a correctional officer.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Okay.

[Rome]

So, like, she's sitting. She facing me, but her legs is like. You know how that go. Jessica come downstairs, she gonna say, oh, we was naked. We was not naked. If we was naked, it had been happening. I don't get naked.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

And was she topless?

[Rome]

No. Oh, my gosh. See, she's never gonna tell the truth anyway. She banged the girl.

[DJ Envy]

You beat up the girl?

[Rome]

No, she didn't beat up. She banged her.

[Jessica]

She, like, popped us.

[Rome]

And I picked her up and walked up the stairs and threw her outside.

[Jessica]

Jerome, you could never lift me. No, you never.

[Rome]

No. Y' all see what I'm saying? She never wants to. She never wants to admit the truth.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

So hold on. The CO Couldn't fight?

[Rome]

Nah, I ain't.

[Jessica]

No, she ain't listening. I don't know if she could fight or not, but she got hit at one time, and then she got up, and then she put on her uniform and went and left. Went upstairs and she left.

[Rome]

The truth is not. I promise you. I wish it was iPhones and cameras. No, I didn't fight you.

[Jessica]

And my son was not in no portable nothing. He Was on the floor on a blanket, and the cat was looking at him like he wanted to eat him. Yes.

[Rome]

It was my basement. Cement under the carpet. So I would never lay my. I wouldn't even lay on the floor.

[Jessica]

So why was my son on the floor?

[Rome]

My son was in a portable bassinet.

[Jessica]

Okay?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Y' all been arguing about this for 11 years. For 11 years.

[Rome]

Because she never wanted to tell the truth. She was drunk out of her mind. And I'm trying to figure out why. The homework.

[Jessica]

I was just getting off of work.

[Rome]

Just getting off of work because.

[Jessica]

Damn lie.

[DJ Envy]

I had a job.

[Rome]

You dated me. You said goddamn lie. You did not just get off work. You was fired at that time. So please.

[Jessica]

No, I got fired right after that. I was working at McDonald's. That's when I was stealing out the record.

[Rome]

This is so much Gretel love. I love it.

[Jessica]

And then if I was drinking, okay, I was drinking on the job, but I was at work, so. And then I came to get my son, and then.

[Rome]

No, you did not come get your son. Cause it was my weekend. So what? I was just coming till Monday from daycare. Why was you coming? No, you was coming to be nosy.

[Jessica]

I didn't have to come to me on daycare.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You had a passenger with her.

[Rome]

If you coming to get your cousin to come in. Yep. She. I went on like Nicole either because she told your ass, go home.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

11 years. You still don't like Nicole.

[Rome]

11 years old, man.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That's my job.

[DJ Envy]

Punch the window. How did you break the window?

[Rome]

Man, she hit that with her. With her hand.

[DJ Envy]

So you walked out, seen his car and punched.

[Rome]

No, she. I threw her ass out. I shut the door.

[Jessica]

Jerome, you're not that. You was not that strong like. You did not throw me.

[Rome]

No way.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah, I had to.

[Rome]

I had you. And it was steps. You Jazzy Jeff. Oh, yeah, that right there.

[Jessica]

He could never ever even right now, could not do that to me.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Why you hit the window, though? Why you hit the car?

[Jessica]

I was just really, really. Cause he wouldn't give me my son.

[Rome]

She's a liar.

[Jessica]

Give me my son. You called the police, and we going to try to say it's.

[Rome]

I called the police. You called the police?

[DJ Envy]

You called the police?

[Rome]

I didn't call the police. I don't know how to listen.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You went to jail.

[Jessica]

I went to jail that night.

[Rome]

Pause, pause. Listen.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Hold on.

[Public Investing Advertiser]

I need.

[Rome]

Everybody hear this. Where I'm from, the jail is right there.

[Jessica]

Right around the corner.

[Rome]

You gonna walk? It's two minutes Somebody heard the commotion.

[Jessica]

They walked to us.

[Rome]

I don't know how they came. I thought my stepmother called. My godmother called one of them. It was my stepmother house, my godmother house. Somebody called. Cuz I ain't call the police. My phone was cracked. Cause you cracked his phone too.

[Jessica]

I did crack his phone, but he could still. Everybody in the house had a phone. He called my. He called the police on me and then going. And then when the police came, I just sat in my car. I was mad. I was like, no, I came over here to get my son. Nicole did tell me, yo, come on, let's pull off. He not giving you the baby. He's not giving you the baby. I was like, all right, cool. But I was mad, so I didn't pull off. Police paddy wagon pulled up and got out. And you was like, she. She right there. She right there.

[Rome]

She ain't proof yet, bro.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You was the eyewitness they want.

[Rome]

How was I trying to get. How did I try to get you locked up when I'm the same one called trying to bail you out with no money.

[Jessica]

I don't know why you ever thought you could bail somebody out with no money.

[Rome]

Like, I ain't sleeping that night. You trying to get her in jail to try to bail out Mr. Check this out. You ever went through a woman phone?

[DJ Envy]

Of course.

[Rome]

Could you eat after that?

[DJ Envy]

Yes.

[Rome]

You could? Well, I couldn't. I'm comparing that to when she went to jail. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, you know, And I was sick.

[DJ Envy]

I didn't.

[Rome]

I didn't want. I a. Want her in jail. Why the would I call the police?

[DJ Envy]

Wait, so how did you punch the window?

[Rome]

That's what we up to it.

[Jessica]

And then was a fish. Then I just punched the window.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

What kind of car was it?

[Jessica]

He had a Honda.

[Rome]

A Honda Accord.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I know it was fresh.

[Rome]

No. Yeah, it was my first car.

[Jessica]

And he had just got.

[Rome]

She ain't like it when I got it.

[Jessica]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Rome]

I was jealous. Now you had a lot of more freedom. I had freedom once I got it very much. She couldn't call me, say, bring me my car back, Jody.

[DJ Envy]

Right?

[Jessica]

I've never called you that.

[DJ Envy]

I never called you that.

[Rome]

Anyway, mind you, she took me to get the car.

[Jessica]

I ain't never seen nobody.

[Rome]

When we got. When I got in the car. When I got in the car, she was like, I don't like this shit.

[Jessica]

I said, yeah, so this man, you really be doing you because you was doing you. He Would drop me off to work and go act like he in class.

[Rome]

And I was an A student then. I was going right there to be triple C for my associates. Yes, I did. I went to class because guess what? You got off work 2 o'. Clock. You had to be to work 6 o'.

[Public Investing Advertiser]

Clock.

[Rome]

So I was getting up 5am Every morning. We got to your work, we got to your job by 5:45. I got out of class at 1:30, did my homework for the 15 minutes, came to Cold Spring McDonald's and picked you up. Then we went home. That was my routine Monday through Friday.

[Jessica]

You're skipping a lot of things, but it's hurt, huh?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Did you hurt your hand?

[Jessica]

No, it didn't hurt until I got in jail. I ain't gonna lie. So I got in jail.

[Rome]

But listen. No, ain't hurt till she sobered up.

[Jessica]

This the crazy thing. I was not that drunk. So then when I got drink. Used to drink 1800, guess who did my intake?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

God damn.

[Jessica]

No, guess who did my intake? The damn girl who was with him.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

The one that you punched?

[Jessica]

Yep. Yes, she went.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

She clocked in to do that.

[DJ Envy]

Crazy.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

She like, I'm on my way.

[Jessica]

She did my intake. That same girl that I popped. Yo, she did it, but she didn't say nothing because she couldn't be caught up in nothing like that.

[Rome]

She lost her job.

[Jessica]

She would have got fired. Yeah, she lost her job.

[Rome]

She did, right?

[Jessica]

I straight told on her, like, yeah, cuz, I was like, so you told one of girl? Absolutely.

[Rome]

As soon as I got in.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Loves.

[Public Investing Advertiser]

Wow.

[Jessica]

How could you actually want to fuck with a nigga who laid his baby in a cat's face?

[Rome]

Oh, my God.

[Jessica]

On the.

[Rome]

On the carpet, she got.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I ain't mad at that. I ain't mad at you telling on that moment, Jess, cuz she. You don't know what she could have tried to do to you in that situation. So you got to put everything on the.

[Jessica]

I was like, no, it was ghetto or begotten. And that's what it was.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

So now when you hear this story and you say to yourself, why are they there on National Co Parent Day? Cause they are like the best of friends now. They call each other. Jess calls you her brother. How do you feel about that?

[DJ Envy]

How did y' all get there?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Do you look at her like your sister?

[Rome]

You said, mama, I was gonna say.

[Jessica]

What you said created that.

[Rome]

Yeah, like my mother, like, when we out of town and shit, she act like my mother. Now, I ain't gonna disclose too much, but she thinks she my mother.

[Jessica]

No, I just know she likes to control.

[Rome]

Like, she know how I am, though. Like, me, I'm a loner. I think part of that controlling part is like, okay, where I'm at, bro, it could be 20 of us. I don't want to be with y', all. So guess what I'mma do?

[Jessica]

And he can go out of town with these 20 people and then be like, all right.

[Rome]

I'm like, no, we could be all on a sprinter.

[Jessica]

What's going on?

[Rome]

No, we could be all on a sprinter. Whatever state we go to, bro, I'm either going to go get a rental or slingshot or something. It better not be raining. But I think that controlling part comes into because she cares. And sometimes, especially when I'm under the influence, I've done dumb ass.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

So that's good that you know, that.

[Rome]

You can admit that I've done dumbass.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I don't know if you heard.

[DJ Envy]

Just assist in the back.

[Rome]

Everybody, like, you know, everybody knows. But I hold myself accountable to that, mind you. Now, I ain't gonna say I learned from one mistake. Cause I done did a dumbass shit over and over again. But I think in that aspect, that's when the mother. The mother with the V, but the bruh. Her calling me brother and sister. Like, honestly, without the child. Like, it's there. It's seen. Like, camera's on, camera's off. Like, you can't fake this or make this shit up.

[Jessica]

Oh, yeah. Rome started that. Rome started calling me sis first, and then I started calling him bro. You know, I'm like, yeah, we do have, like, a sibling dynamic in some way. You know, he still confides in my mom. He like, my mom is our mother. Like, it's not. It ain't nothing crazy. It's nothing intimate. Like, seriously, I always say this. People be like, yeah, right. I can literally walk past this. And it. I don't do this. But I'm saying I can walk past this man naked, and he doesn't even like, girl. What? Like, put that up. I'm talking about seriously, like, how do.

[DJ Envy]

Y' all know each other's spouses or each other's boyfriend and girlfriend? Like, how do you deal with his girl and how do you deal with.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Now?

[Sophie Cunningham]

Wrong.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

She told us you had 17 baby mamas.

[Rome]

Five.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Five. Okay.

[Jessica]

I never told you.

[Rome]

He had no doubt. I thought you said, like, everybody always tried to and like, that. It's cool, though. It's cool.

[Jessica]

I'll say a five.

[Rome]

But this was this. And then this was the friction part, and we got over that. But this is the friction part was I'm on my business. I don't get in her. But the friction part was her getting into minds. But she's still a woman. I'm still a man.

[Jessica]

Yeah.

[Rome]

So women tend to do that. And this is not. No shame to women. I don't mean no disrespect by saying it, but I think women tends to do that. Especially a woman that care about you.

[DJ Envy]

What was she said? Sometimes you make bad decisions and she's there as your sister to make sure you good.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Correct.

[DJ Envy]

Regardless if it's life, relationship, or whatever.

[Rome]

Correct.

[DJ Envy]

She said that on there.

[Rome]

With me personally, I never really. Like, I talk to her about certain things, but I never really like my family to get into no intimate situation. Yeah. Because guess what? Y' all can feel away about this person however y' all want, whether it's negative or good. If I'm gonna deal with this person, I'm gonna deal with them. Like, the female can smack shit out me yesterday.

[DJ Envy]

Mm.

[Jessica]

Mm.

[Rome]

I might get over it and fuck her tomorrow. Mm.

[Jessica]

Mm.

[Rome]

But it's like, that's why I always. That's how I was always able to distinguish the two. Like when Jessica with her men, when she come to me like. I don't know. Like, I ain't never pillow talking or sneak dissing or nothing. Like, I don't really care if it. Like, it ain't enough. A nigga have that. I don't if. If you put it in that sense. But when she come to me with a man, I tell her ain't right.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

But both of y' all gotta care, though. Cause you gonna want to know who around your son. She gonna want her.

[Rome]

So I never did, though.

[Jessica]

Yeah.

[Rome]

I never. So in the beginning stage. Yeah. Don't have this around my son.

[Jessica]

Right. Right.

[Rome]

I grew out of that. So now it's. I trust my child mom enough to. She won't bring no around my child.

[Jessica]

Right.

[Rome]

So I don't say, oh, don't have this nigga around my. That's never been a problem. What has been a problem was motherfuckers envy me. Except for my last dog. Yeah. My dog. That's my dog.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Who's the dog?

[Rome]

My dog, Chris.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Chris. Okay.

[Rome]

I like Chris. That's my dog. That's my dog. I ain't gonna hold you. I think he's the. I think, like, me, Honestly, me and Jess, man. Like, I think it's been times where a woman didn't like me and her situation. But guess what? Bye.

[Jessica]

Yeah, more so on. And yeah, it'll be more so on his end because it's much more of them. But the thing is. Yeah, the thing is, like, I don't like when. Cause I even tell him when he doing wrong, too. Like, yo, don't treat her like that. This is not how you going introduce me to her now. I done got to know her, you know, and whether she had a kid or not, most of the time it's the ones that have the kids. But it's like, yo, you gotta do right or just be single. Like, don't keep hurting women in the process of trying to find what you're looking for. I mean, I know that's all a part of dating, but when you have kids, it's different, you know? And then he'd be like, ah, that's why I don't like you to be getting into it, you know? And then I don't. Like, he attracts a lot of toxic women to, like, abusive relationships where women will put their hands on him. I'm like, what? Yeah, all right. You know? But he don't. He's like, nah, but I might be fucking with her tomorrow. What? She just blacked her eye. What are you talking about?

[Rome]

You know what I'm saying?

[Jessica]

Like, no, we not doing it.

[Rome]

But, Claire, I never had a black guy.

[Jessica]

Okay, well, she bust your nose, whatever women have put their hands on you.

[Rome]

And that's why. And that's why she's my dog. Like, I think she's the only one, really, honestly, the one to get the fuck under my skin. Like a certain word place she used. And I don't care what tone she use it in, but to say that is, like, I was really never taught how to love. Like, I lost my mom at 10 years old. My heart. I moved with my dad. And when I moved with my dad, I didn't move. My dad and my stepmom, which is my mom now, me and my mom have a great relationship. That's my stepmom. And my dad was married, but my dad was cheating. Like, same. Like my dad cheating, bro. My dad showing me shit that bro. Like, I'm thinking, cool. So, like, when. Even when I started dealing with women and stuff like that, multiple women and all that, my dad was like, yeah, absolutely. And I'm thinking it's cool because that's what you're being told. That's what. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm being taught. Like. And every man in my Life that I looked at as a role model, to me was the same way. Same. So it's like, what you expect? But the good thing is now is, like, I'm old enough now, and mind you, I ain't perfect. Now I'm seeing it. I'm trying to, you know, change it, but I've never was taught to love properly, so. And I never. My trust issues is fucked up from my dad. Like, bro, my trust issues fucked up before I even met her. Because I'm seeing what he's doing, but I'm seeing when it's done to him, his reactions. Like, damn, my nigga, you was just doing this. How you gonna get mad? Right? So it's like every relationship I went into, I had an expiration date. Me, I put an expiry on myself. I said, she gonna get what she gonna get. I'm get what I'm getting.

[DJ Envy]

I'm gone.

[Rome]

So I've never really gave a woman the. The. What's the word I'm looking for? I never really gave a woman commitment, not even commitment, but I never gave the woman a chance to really love me.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

But even with the kids, like, even.

[Rome]

Having kids with other women, no, I had. And this is, like, I said, no distract to my children, moms. A lot of my. My children came out of vulnerability.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Explain. Expound on that.

[Rome]

And I'm explaining that so I will meet a woman who I may feel like she. It's what I need, another safe place or whatever the case may be. But I'm already vulnerable from a previous relationship. Have a child, knowing I don't want to be with this woman. I don't want to. I don't. I really don't want to be with her, but I feel like I'm forced to be with her because it's a child. And I've done that.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You know, multiple times. Multiple times you needed a therapist, not another baby mama.

[Rome]

Correct? Yeah, but at the time of need, at the time. And vulnerability. You know, women. You know, women can bro. They be masked up. Yeah.

[Jessica]

But then also, you know, just on a accountability part, which he has taken over his recent years, is like, you was looking for, like, your mom in women. And you would never get that. You know what I'm saying? Because you was trying to look for an emotional connection with, you know, nurturing also. And then, like, you was really, really searching for Keisha, Keisha's mother, you were really searching for her and women, you know, that's a different type of love. You know what I mean?

[Rome]

I think different Women. Why? I always dealt with different women because different women have certain. What is it? Certain things, certain aspects of a. Certain aspects of it. But like, I never knew how to be alone, bro. Like, oh, piece of the planet.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Charlemagne, the God here now. You know, the end of the year is when, like a lot of business owners, I really lock in. All right, this is the time to set the foundation for next year. You got new ideas, new product drops, new goals. And when I'm building anything meaningful, I need the right tools. That's why I always tell folks, especially black entrepreneurs and small black owned businesses, Shopify is the move, okay? We use it at the Black Effect Podcast network. And I've seen firsthand how it helps creators and business owners grow with confidence. Entrepreneurship is very important to me, okay? There's nothing wrong with working for people. There's nothing wrong with partnering people. But you should strive to own your own as well. And Shopify can help others grow into entrepreneurs. It's like having a whole team behind you. Your chief of staff, your personal assistant, your co founder, all in one platform. Whether you're running a side hustle or a full storefront selling, selling locally or worldwide, Shopify takes all the guesswork out. Shopify brings everything into one place. You can sell on your website, on social media, and even in the real world. Like some of our partners at our Black Effect Festival coming up in April. Wherever your people are, Shopify makes sure your business can meet them where they're at. Plus, you got Shopify, Sidekick and their AI tools. Total game changers. I love how it's like having an assistant giving you insights, content, ideas, edits. Shopify's got your next move covered. So let me ask you this. If you're ready to take the next step in your life, whether it's merch products or anything in between, get on shopify.com ben that's shopify.com ben and make it happen. It is time to stop putting off your future and start your new role as your own boss today.

[Jessica]

Hey, what up, y'?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

All?

[Jessica]

It's DJ Envy.

[DJ Envy]

And the holidays are here. The time of year that's all about connecting with loved ones in person or over the phone. In fact, hearing someone's voice can evoke a similar emotional response as a hug. And while most of us can hop on a video chat to really bring that connection to life, using tech isn't easy for everyone, especially some of the older folk in our lives. AT&T has been doing something special here to help. They offer digital literacy workshops that help older adults learn how to use technology to do things most of us take for granted, like video conferencing and sharing photos. Take Nancy Shandy. She joined one of AT&T's workshops to learn how to video chat. For the first time this holiday season, Nancy won't just be hearing about family gatherings, she'll be a part of them, sharing stories, opening presents, and making memories all through a screen. Nobody should have to go through the holiday season alone, so be sure to connect and stay connected to your loved ones this holiday season.

[Sophie Cunningham]

Connecting changes everything. AT&T.

[Rome]

What a matchup we got y'.

[DJ Envy]

All.

[Rome]

This is that classic HBCU vibe. Non stop action. The band is rocking and the crowd lit. Chance echo drum beat everybody showing that school pride. A game like this. Yeah, it calls for an ice cold Coca Cola. Ah, crisp and refreshing. That's a game changer right there.

[Jessica]

Mmm.

[Rome]

Yeah, that taste always hits the right note. Just like the band at halftime. And just like that, we're back at it. Asheville fans, school colors everywhere and an ice cold Coca Cola. That's a winning combo no matter the sport, no matter the yard. Everybody knows fan work is thirsty work. So grab a Coca Cola and keep that HBCU pride going.

[LG Gram Advertiser]

Did you know Microsoft has officially ended Support for Windows 10? Upgrade to Windows 11 with an LG Gram laptop, voted PCMag's Reader's Choice top laptop brand for 2025. Thin and ultra lightweight, the LG Gram keeps you productive anywhere and Windows 11 gives you access to free security updates and ongoing feature upgrades. Visit lgusa.com iheart for great seasonal savings on LG Gram laptops with Windows 11. PCMag reader's choice used with permission. All rights reserved.

[Public Investing Advertiser]

Support for the show comes from Public, the investing platform for those who take it seriously. On Public, you can build a multi asset portfolio of stocks, bonds, options, crypto and now generated assets which allow you to turn any idea into an investable index. With AI. It all starts with your prompt. From renewable energy companies with high free cash flow to semiconductor suppliers growing revenue over 20% year over year, you can literally type any prompt and put the AI to work. It screens thousands of stocks, builds a one of a kind index and lets you back test it against the S&P 500. Then you can invest in a few clicks. Generated assets are like EFTs with infinite possibilities, completely customizable and based on your thesis, not someone else's. Go to public.com podcast and earn an uncapped 1% bonus when you transfer your portfolio. That's public.com podcast paid for by Public Investing Brokerage Services by Open to the Public Investing Inc. Member FINRA SIPC Advisory Services by Public Advisors, LLC SEC Registered Advisor Generated Assets is an interactive analysis tool. Output is for informational purposes only and is not investment recommendation or advice. Complete Disclosures available at public.comdisclosures I be.

[Rome]

Single, have my own apartment and all that and let it go and go move with a woman because yeah I never knew really I don't know how to I I don't like being lonely. Like so it's like a lot of the times when and I say this shit is real. Like I don't know if a lot of other men like me but when being lonely bro, you. You go through search I don't give how much money you got. I don't care about none of that but like I never really knew how to be alone. Like I feel like I gotta have somebody laying next to me because even before my mom died my mom used to sleep naked. This is a back then thing.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

How old were you when your mother passed?

[Rome]

I was 10. But I was a mommy's boy.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Did you ever.

[Rome]

Did you ever really properly so grieving? No, I never really grieved. All I did was I thought it was gonna help me by going to school for social work because that's what she was. But I never really properly grieved and that's a process. Now I do want to get, you know, back in the gym. I do want to get a therapist but I want everything else around me to be intact so that I could fully commit. Because if I ain't fully committed, it ain't gonna work.

[Jessica]

And then also me, I also feel like your, your dad didn't get you any type of.

[Rome]

Honestly, I felt like me personally and this is probably the first time I said this like I did I think my, my father really wanted me for a check and exactly what I said. Like did the money and he lied to me for so long. I lost a scholarship because of my dad. Oh because at the time where I wanted to go, I wanted to get away from them. So I had, I had a couple scholarships. I had like over 30 acceptances. I got accepted to a school in Florida.

[Jessica]

I think they asked and did your mom leave you money or.

[Rome]

Yeah, my mom. Yeah, my mom. So my mom left.

[DJ Envy]

I thought maybe the government gave you a chance.

[Rome]

My mom left money. My mom was getting money and you know, Social Security stuff. So it was like my dad was making bank. Like I did it. I ain't Even say the calculation. Calculation is crazy.

[DJ Envy]

What's your relationship with your dad now?

[Rome]

We okay. You know, we all right. He, you know, he's still living with that regret, and I feel like that's why we can't really get there. But, yeah, like, I feel like my dad wanted me for a check, Man.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

How'd you lose the scholarship, though? He didn't finish.

[Rome]

I lost the scholarship. I lost the scholarship because August, like, two weeks before school was supposed to start, I had got a. I was leaving, like, my mom's side. He bought all my dorm stuff and all of that. All my life. My father always said, yeah, when you get 18, you gonna have money. You can go get your car, you can go do what you want, you go to school, whatever the case may be. All right, cool. I get 18, I graduate, there's nothing there. I asked my father, I'm like, wow. Still no answer, though. My father never even answered. So, mind you, I know I got a scholarship, a partial scholarship. So. A partial scholarship with the. You paying the school and room and board, that's at the school I was going to, that was about 16, 17,000 a semester. I had, like, a $42,000 partial joint. So my dad was always saying, all right, I gotta rest. I gotta rest. So two weeks before I was supposed to leave. So a month before I was supposed to leave, my family got all my dorm stuff. A week before I was supposed to leave, my father called me up to the room, and he like, I ain't even gonna say what he said. I'm like. He like, you can't go to school. I'm like, why not? Like, nigga, I'm an A student. Like, I work hard for this. I was an athlete. I was a student. I ain't get no office from basketball my junior, senior year. So I gave up and said, fuck it. I'm gonna fall back on my grades. You always said I had the money. The money wasn't there. He spent it all.

[DJ Envy]

Jesus.

[Rome]

And, you know, we turn 18, like, 17 and a half, it stopped coming. But even if it come again when I'm 18, that's one check. All the rest gone. And my stepmother used to always tell her my step. And I love my stepmother for this. And I wish I'd have known this when I was younger, but my stepmother used to always tell them, put that money up. But she never came to me because she didn't want to overstep the boundaries of her husband. And I understood it. But now that I'm grown and we have Conversations. Now it's, like, understood it because my father always tried to make people hate me. I hated my step. Yeah, I hated my stepmother growing up, but it was never her, it was him. Lights ain't get cut off. We had Christmases because of my stepmom. My dudes got paid. My senior dudes. I'm talking about my middle school dudes, mind you, bro, you getting money for me in my middle school dudes. My stepmother paid them. My stepmother and my teachers paid them.

[Jessica]

Wow.

[Rome]

High school dudes. My stepmother paid them. And my friends. I got two friends, their mothers paid all that. So it was like, my dad really crushed me, man. I told my dad a couple weeks ago, man, I said, bro, you hate me. Not literally saying you hate me, but you hate me so much because I got you. I caught your ways. I said, but the difference between me, I'm young and I'm changing. I'm gonna change them. You 20 years older than me, you still doing the same thing, right? You wanna break those cycles and I wanna break. And it's not even me breaking a cycle, bro. I just. I don't like being like this. Like, I don't like hurting people. I don't like hurting women. I don't like. I never really hurt. I'm so loyal to my friends that any little disloyal thing they do to me, they cut off. So it's like, the shit be hurting, man. And it's like, damn, I already had nobody. So then when I got a child, mom, I cherish it. And I tell her, bro, cherish the really ones you love. The really ones that's genuinely there for you. The ones that you ain't gotta do nothing for. Them that really love you. Because guess what? At the end of the day, when shit go. If shit go bad, they gonna be the ones you count on.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You know, there's this thing when you start going to therapy, you'll hear about. It's this thing called the mother wound. And it's a type of attachment trauma that instills deeply rooted beliefs that make the child feel unloved, abandoned, unworthy of care, and numb to their feelings. Does that feel like you? Yeah.

[Rome]

Maslow loss. Maslow loss. It's done to you as a child, will affect you as an adult, but it will not define you.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That's right.

[Rome]

So it's like. It's crazy. Cause going to school's like, man, you reading this shit? I'm like, man, it's me.

[DJ Envy]

It's me.

[Rome]

Like, you know, I'm thinking of My own therapist. But, you know, every therapist needs a therapist, and that's how they able to be effective. So it was like, man, like, I've been through. I ain't have a bad upbringing, but I've been through some traumatic situations, man, and, you know, like, I. I ain't. They ain't gonna define me. Like, them babies of mine, man, I love them babies. I feel like if it weren't for my babies, I'd have crashed out long time ago. Long time ago. But that's what I say. I got them babies. And out of all my. I got. I got two children. Moms like that. My last one, you know, she. She mean no harm by certain things, but I got that one. And I got this one to my left, man, my dog. And it's like, she gave me hope every day, and she don't even know it. Like, even when, you know, we might not even argue, but, like, it be days I wake up, she doing you all right? How you feeling? Just because I know that she need it. Like, when you the shoulders and the head of families or communities, bro, like, it's a lot. You know, honestly, I think them people need it the most. So I give her her flowers every day, and I feel like, man, like, without her.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah, well, I think you're on the right path. You know, they say healing the mother wound first starts with acknowledging the pain.

[Rome]

Correct.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

And then seeking professional help, which you want to do. Cultivating healthy relationships, which. Which I've done. And you focusing on self care and personal growth.

[DJ Envy]

Yeah, that's right.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

So you want. You're definitely on the right path.

[Rome]

It's gonna get there, man. It's time. Take time, you know, but it'll be there.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

How did y'. All. That's the most thing. I won't say most important, but one of the most important things. How did y' all realize we don't have feelings for each other no more? Like, how did that just go away? Like, y' all have. Y' all love each other, but not in that way.

[Rome]

I got my answer. You want to go first?

[Jessica]

You can go first. What's yours?

[Rome]

Because I'm still thinking when I stopped caring about who she dealt with, when I wouldn't even. Like, I wouldn't even care.

[DJ Envy]

How long did that take?

[Rome]

Oh, about three years. So, like, when Ashlyn was like, three.

[Jessica]

Yeah. He was still, like, really young.

[Rome]

Yeah, it was like three years, but at that. But honestly, that three years, like.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I.

[Rome]

Had called a big check, so it was like, you know, I was almost half A million dollar nigga. So it was like. It was the pain that I had, whatever the case may be, I would pay. I would, like, just buy shit to block it out. But other than that, like, you ain't.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Trying to stun on her a little bit?

[Rome]

Oh, no, I stunted. No, I never. No, I'm waiting for that. I never intentionally stunted on her. I never did that. Never.

[Jessica]

Okay.

[Rome]

I did everything she possibly could ask me to do. And she said on a. A one of these shows, something about a BGE bill. And I'm gonna address that. I never wanted.

[Jessica]

That was on our show.

[Rome]

That was on co Parents, and I'm address that now.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That's Electric bill.

[Rome]

So. So I'm explaining. Her lights got cut off.

[DJ Envy]

You got a $500,000 check, and you look, listen.

[Rome]

No, not. It wasn't right then and there, okay? But it's over time, because mind you, like, mind you, a lot of my places helped me. She helped me get a lot of. On the back end. But in the time, like, I helped her, whatever the case, I didn't know she was moving with a man.

[Jessica]

I didn't move with a man.

[Rome]

Well, she moved the man in with her.

[Jessica]

Yeah.

[Rome]

After.

[Jessica]

After.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

So he had you in the dark, too?

[Jessica]

No, this was before I met him.

[Rome]

I'm getting her business, so I don't know that he not there. So, boom. So here's my logic, and I'mma say what I'm going say to her after I explain it. My logic was, all right, man is in the house. Boom. The b E get cut off, right? I'm thinking like, damn. So she like, well, Rome. I'm like, well, I take my son with me. But that wasn't me talking. That was the girlfriend I had talking.

[Jessica]

Oh, shit. You ain't tell me that.

[Rome]

I never told you that. Because as a woman, you ain't trying to hear that. And as a man and you being me, I don't want to hear that. So I didn't want to tell you that because I'd have felt less of a man.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Unborrow your fist, Jesse.

[Rome]

So. Yeah, but not enough.

[DJ Envy]

I understand them. If somebody else is smacking the cheeks.

[Rome]

You pay their little. So the girlfriend was like, y' all.

[DJ Envy]

Living in that house.

[Rome]

So the girlfriend was like, don't talk about no house.

[DJ Envy]

So listen now.

[Jessica]

Go ahead.

[Rome]

So the girlfriend was like, I took a certain amount of money out the bank. I did. She was with me. She like, mind you, the certain amount of money I had to call because I was gonna break it in half, give it to Jessica, and I take the rest. And I was going to me and Ashton. Me and Ashton. That's all I did. Shot me and Ashton. So I was gonna give it that. But the girl like, why you giving it to Jessica? I'm like, cause she need it.

[Jessica]

And she like, oh, I never said the amount of.

[Rome]

I never said the reason. I never said the reason. Yeah, yeah. I never said the reason, though. She was like, what exactly does she need? Cause I know you ain't giving her no. She don't need a bag or nothing like that. I'm like, no, it's something else. She like, well, don't she got a nigga living with her? And mind you, I'm drinking at the time.

[DJ Envy]

You thinking the same thing.

[Jessica]

I'm like, he wasn't even thinking that till she said it.

[Rome]

I wasn't thinking that. But I'm drinking. But when she say it. Cause I'm not. Like I said, bro, like, wives and girlfriends, I've seen men crumble and go against their family because of a wife or a girlfriend. I seen it. And I'm like, you know what? You right.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Why you ain't asked?

[Rome]

Just though crazy, all right?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You just pick up the phone and say, jess, what's up with you?

[Rome]

Because I was a young emotional boy.

[Jessica]

Who had just ran into a bunch of money. And a bunch of came with that.

[Rome]

No, not the every. My. I'm hurt. My hurt young man got a lot of money. Everybody me over, I got some money. I'm doing the I wanted. I'll make myself happy.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah.

[Rome]

And that's how went broke. Like, it was times where I'm not happy, but I go spend money just because I'm not like, oh, that car just came out like that.

[Jessica]

Everybody except me fucks you over. You feel me?

[Rome]

Except her. So that was what I was like. And granted, right now on today, I'm gonna say I truly, sincerely apologize for not taking care of you the way I should have. And I'm gonna take my glasses off because for a long time, that shit hurt me. And it's like, I never, ever, ever, especially you. I never, ever, ever, ever meant to do that to you. And it's like now that's why I even. I work so hard today and just try to even. Just give you something. But in due time, that shit gonna come back. I ain't. You know, I done made that shit back. Went broke again, made it back, went broke again. But my biggest downfall, the common denominator, was alcohol and women. So that Them two problems never allowed me to really reach my full potential. Even when I seen. A couple years ago, you've seen it. 2019, when I was single, when I went, moved back by myself, I ran that up.

[Jessica]

Flourish.

[Rome]

I ran that bitch up. That's one thing I know how to do. I'm running up. But it'd be women holding me back. I'm sorry that I didn't do what I was supposed to do. And a lot of motherfuckers say, well, that wasn't your job. I want you. I felt that was my duty. But because I had certain people in my ear that I thought had their best interest in me. But when that bag ran out, they left. Yeah, I'm sorry. And I'm not a sorry person. I apologize.

[Jessica]

Okay, I appreciate that. But listen, I was not. I was talking to a nigga. He moved in months after. You think a nigga was gonna move into a dark house? You think I wanted a nigga to see how I was living? No. And when you say, I asked you like, yo, can you just get my lights on? I'll pay you back. That's when I was scamming and doing all that shit. That shit got slow too. So I'm like, all right. You was like, nah, I take my son. Nobody taking my kid, not even his father. Like, as long as Ash wasn't scared of the dark, we was good. You know what I'm saying? Like, I still had candles. We was playing, we was doing all that. We would stay outside.

[Rome]

That turned you up a notch.

[Jessica]

Until it went. Until it got dark. And then we would go in the house. And he ain't never asked me why the lights ain't coming on. It don't matter. So as long as he was good, I was good. I just wanted to be able to.

[Rome]

To call your baby, you know what I'm saying?

[Jessica]

And just be like, yo, get my license for me.

[Rome]

And you should have. But guess what? That made you a demon. And when I say demon, I say it in the best way that turns you up. And you, I got to teach my kids, especially my oldest boy, my 11 year old bro. Like, I don't want you to go through something bad to learn a lesson, right? I don't think everybody should have to go through something bad and learn a lesson.

[Jessica]

Right?

[Rome]

But in your case, I feel like, yeah, that put that battery in your back. And no, when that battery came in your back, you ain't. You ain't treat me no way.

[Jessica]

Nope.

[Rome]

It took still a minute for us to create that bond.

[Jessica]

Yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

But y' all have it now. And I think y' all both should give each other some grace. Cause y' all was dumb young.

[Sophie Cunningham]

Yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Correct.

[Rome]

Yeah. And I always was a hurt young man, so. Right.

[DJ Envy]

But I love this story. Cause it shows the foundation and how y' all are now and how y' all treat each other now. You know, I don't know you, but the way she talks about you on the radio. And like you said, she is a mother. She protects you. She holds you down.

[Rome]

I just love to see it.

[Jessica]

Yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No, sometimes I'd be telling to stop talking about room like that.

[Jessica]

He always did.

[Rome]

But it's like, why you be talking about.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

But I, I, I get it. She don't mean no harm.

[Rome]

No, she don't. No. No, she don't.

[Jessica]

Yeah.

[Rome]

Like I said, man, like, I wish a lot of other people would take from us. And that's why this got to be on tv.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That's why y' all writing a book.

[Rome]

Yeah, yeah. Book coming. Everything. Yes, Everything coming.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

There you have, I think, the most important thing, because I want y' all to save a lot of this. But what's the most important thing it takes to co. If y' all just leave it on that. Cause it's national co parenting day.

[Jessica]

Yo, I tell you, I started off communication. Like, a lot of people be scared to hurt each other feelings. And a lot of people be afraid to have uncomfortable conversations. Whether it's about kids, unhashed differences, whatever. Like, one day, me and Rome just literally met up and just. We just talked about everything that, you know, he felt like I did him wrong in certain situations. And then he felt like, like, I will always try. Cause he says I'm controlling a lot. And I do take that. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I own that. I do. Like, I was trying to control how he parents sometimes, like, how he would raise Ash and all of that type of stuff. We just put everything on the table and just was like, all right, you're moving forward. Cause it's really about Ash. And that's really. Like, when we. After that, it was like, no looking back. It's like, all right, whatever.

[Rome]

Cool. Piece of cake.

[Jessica]

It was just communication, but it takes.

[Rome]

I think that it's a couple things, man. Communication, feelings out of it, ego out of it.

[Jessica]

Ego for sure.

[Rome]

And just. Man, both parties gotta be in it, though, man. Like, I feel like, you know, now, like, even at my kids school and shit, man. Like, they ain't used to the man. I think that's Fucked up.

[Jessica]

Yeah.

[Rome]

Kids. That you kids? No, at school. My children. My own children.

[Jessica]

Oh, yeah.

[Rome]

I feel like, you know, the father is not a norm, so I always been. I ain't. It's not. I didn't say I'm a change the norm, but I've changed the norm. Like, it's me. You ain't got to call the mother. You know, the DMX son. Call your father. Yeah, that's me. Call me. Don't call the mothers. I'm hands on. I'm going to be there. And my oldest, 11, man. I just sat to school, sat in the class with them the whole day.

[Jessica]

They call you. But Ash called me on the side. Ash, My dad was up here. It's too much. Can you come?

[Rome]

But that was the thing too. She had to learn. Don't try to take the father from the child. Let me father him. Because I refuse for my son to become a statistic. I refuse for my son to become a young, hurt little boy. I refuse for my son to grow up not knowing how to love a woman. I refuse my son to be so many things that his father was. And I'm still young, so I'm still. You know, I told Naya earlier, I said, man, like, you know, one of my. I'm gonna write my right. I'm gonna write my rights through my. My boys.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I gotta still unlearning. You unlearning right now? Correct?

[Rome]

Correct.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You unlearning to learn when it's co.

[Rome]

Parenting ain't easy, man.

[Jessica]

And I used to be. I used to be hard on him. How he was so hard on my son. Like, no, like, you like Nash gotta want to talk to you. You gotta make him want to talk to you. Like Ash, he used to like come and talk to me about things he was scared to go to his father about. Not cause it was any abusive relationships, anything. It was just like, I can't talk.

[Rome]

Today, you know, was my son problem. And like I said, I'm creating a young man. My son problem was he don't like confront. Not confrontation, but he don't like to confront a man. And when I say that, me, his father, he don't like to. And I tell him, I said, bro, if you don't like something, you tell me. I'm not like my father. Oh, shut the up. Oh, you. I'm your father. You. No, no, ain't none of that same, bro. We go to McDonald's and I'll be like, all right, give you six. Oh, Dad, I don't want that all right, what you want? It's the same concept. I get his head down. Now he want hair. Oh, Dad, I don't like that. Tell me. Don't go back and tell your mother. That's when I'm getting mad. Because he was just with me and I just asked you, and you ain't say nothing.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You want the communication?

[Rome]

I want to communicate. And when you communicate with me, you look me in my eyes and tell me, dad, I don't want this. You ain't gotta be disrespectful when you say it. My baby getting better, but I'm here. So it's like. I don't know, man. It's not hard. It's easy. It's fun.

[Jessica]

You do have to make it a little.

[Rome]

I make it a little bit, but it's like.

[Jessica]

I don't like to do that.

[Rome]

It's just, man, like, I don't know. As a mom, it's different than when a dad raised him. I'm doing everything that I wanted. I wanted my father to come up my school. I wanted my dad to talk to me. I wanted my dad to ask me what I wanted. I wanted my dad to come to my basketball games, my baseball game. My dad been to one baseball game out of four years. Two basketball games out of four years.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You gotta make sure you raising your child outta love.

[Rome]

And I don't wanna live for it. And I was scared of my father, my banging my mouth a lot. That's why I got big. That's why I got busted. Lip.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Most of our fathers raised us out of 10. Most of our fathers raised us out of fear. Cause they didn't want us to end up going down the same path they went down. So we gotta figure out how to raise our kids out of love.

[Rome]

But you know, with moms, moms get this. And I think I got that. And I told my dad a couple weeks ago, bro, like, you know. Cause he always kind of be with my father, my father, I said, I don't wanna hear that shit. I tell him straight up, I'm a man now. You ain't gonna tell me, shut the fuck up. I don't wanna hear that shit. Your father wasn't a father. He was a provider. I'm a nurturer. I'm a dad. I'm a father. I nurture my baby.

[Jessica]

And even your response to your dad is angry.

[Rome]

Yeah. Because he always out of. My response to my dad is what? He's. He' to me now. Like, I'm a man now. So it's like, bro, I don't have to take that. I leave.

[Jessica]

But he's trying to explain.

[Rome]

He's trying to explain.

[Jessica]

He's just now figuring it out, too.

[Rome]

He still ain't figured it out. So it's like, if you in the room and this meeting, being in the room, because, you know, I don't call you about this type of stuff, but this, me being in the room, it ain't. Is he. It's a different story, man.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I got somebody for you to talk to him. I got a therapist. I got a good therapist.

[Rome]

I got a lot of them. No, no, no. I'm not saying it like that.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No, I'm talking about a real professional, and I got a real.

[Rome]

Yes, he requires what you want.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I think I got somebody in mind for you.

[Rome]

I want a woman.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You want a woman. All right, I got you.

[Rome]

I don't like men. I got you.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah, I got you. I know exactly who you should talk to.

[Rome]

That's cool, man. You know, I'm always open to it, man, but, you know, other than that, like, you got to want it for yourself. And do you? I do. You know, I've been there, man. Okay, cut back. You know, my biggest thing was just cutting back on the alcohol. Like, now I do it for recreation.

[Jessica]

Well, thank you, Envy for.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Thank you for.

[Rome]

This is recreation drink.

[DJ Envy]

I'm gonna put in his coffee. I didn't know he was gonna take a shot.

[Rome]

Nah, this is great.

[Jessica]

Don't drink no coffee. That n. Got you.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

This was a great conversation. I'm sure it's a discussion that'll continue on, not even just amongst, you know, Jess and Rome, but just amongst anybody out there.

[Rome]

That's right.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You know, dealing with co parenting issues. But I think Rome, you know, Rome is talking to a lot of different issues that a lot of us men go through, you know what I mean? So I'm happy that you was vulnerable this morning.

[DJ Envy]

That's right.

[Jessica]

Thank you.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You know what I mean.

[Rome]

Well, there you have it.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

And their book is coming soon via Black Privilege Publisher.

[Rome]

Love you, y'.

[Jessica]

All.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Simon and Schuster.

[Rome]

I love you more, sis.

[DJ Envy]

All right, well, it's Rome.

[Rome]

Yes. It's the Breakfast Club.

[DJ Envy]

Good morning.

[Rome]

Wake that ass up early in the morning. The Breakfast Club.

[LG Gram Advertiser]

Did you know Microsoft has officially ended Support for Windows 10 upgrade to Windows 11 with an LG Gram laptop? Voted PCMag's reader's choice. Top laptop brand for 20, thin and ultra lightweight. The LG Gram keeps you productive anywhere. And Windows 11 gives you access to free security updates. And ongoing feature upgrades. Visit lgusa.com iheart for great seasonal savings on LG Gram laptops with Windows 11. PCMag reader's choice used with permission. All rights reserved.

[Public Investing Advertiser]

Support for the show comes from Public, the investing platform for those who take it seriously. On Public, you can build a multi asset portfolio of stocks, bonds, options, crypto and now generated assets which allow you to turn any idea into an investable index with AI. It all starts with your prompt. From renewable energy companies with high free cash flow to semiconductor suppliers growing revenue over 20% year over year, you can literally type any prompt and put the AI to work. It screens thousands of stocks, builds a one of a kind index and lets you back test it against the S&P 500. Then you can invest in a few clicks. Generated assets are like EFTs with infinite possibilities, completely customizable and based on your thesis, not someone else's. Go to public.com podcast and earn it an uncapped 1% bonus when you transfer your portfolio. That's public.com podcast paid for by Public Investing Brokerage Services by Open to the Public Investing Inc. Member finra SIPC Advisory Services by Public Advisors, llc SEC Registered Advisor Generated Assets is an interactive analysis tool. Output is for informational purposes only and is not investment recommendation or advice. Complete disclosures [e-mail] Disclosures A new year.

[Sophie Cunningham]

Is on the horizon and your 2026 savings start here. Right now you can access the Washington post for just $2 every four weeks. Head into the new year with six months of savings at this special intro rate. After that, it'll cost $12 every four weeks. Cancel anytime. You'll get unlimited access to trusted journalism that helps you understand the year ahead and the world around you. Now's the perfect time to subscribe because great habits and great savings start together. Go to washingtonpost.com iheart that's washingtonpost.com iheart and start your year informed with the Post. This is Sophie Cunningham from Show Me Something. Do you know the symptoms of moderate to severe obstructive sleep apnea, or OSA in adults with obesity? They may be happening to you without you knowing. If anyone has ever said you snore loudly, or if you spend your days fighting off excessive tiredness, irritability and concentration issues, it may be due to osa. OSA is a serious condition where your airway partially or completely collapses during sleep, which may cause breathing interruptions and oxygen deprivation. Learn more at don'tsleep onosa.com this information is provided by Lilly a medicine company.

[Jessica]

At CVS, it matters that we're not.

[Sophie Cunningham]

Just in your community, but that we're part of it.

[Jessica]

It matters that we're here for you when you need us, day or night, and we want everyone to feel welcomed and rewarded.

[Sophie Cunningham]

It matters that CVS is here to fill your prescriptions and here to fill your craving for a tasty and, yeah, healthy snack.

[Jessica]

At cvs, we're proud to serve your.

[Sophie Cunningham]

Community because we believe where you get your medicine matters. So Visit [e-mail] or just come by our store.

[Jessica]

We can't wait to meet you.

[Sophie Cunningham]

Store hours vary by location.

[Jessica]

This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.