Callers Shoot Their Shot At Loren LoRosa ‘Do You Like Girls?’

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Breakfast Club – "Callers Shoot Their Shot At Loren LoRosa ‘Do You Like Girls?’"

Release Date: March 25, 2025
Hosts: DJ Envy, Jess Hilarious (Charlamagne Tha God is absent)
Guest: Lauren LaRosa (filling in for Charlamagne Tha God)

---

Introduction

[02:39] DJ Envy kicks off the episode with his characteristic enthusiasm:

“Morning, everybody. It's DJ Envy. Just hilarious. Charlamagne is out today. Lauren LaRosa is filling in and Jess is going to try to help Lauren LaRosa with her love life a little bit.”

The episode centers around Lauren LaRosa navigating her romantic prospects with guidance from Jess Hilarious and input from listeners.

Lauren's Dating Dilemma

Jess Hilarious presents Lauren with two potential suitors:

1. The Millionaire Gentleman (53 years old):

   • Traits: Wealthy, travels frequently, desires more children, seeks remarriage.
   • Condition: Wants Lauren to be a housewife.

   [02:58] Jess Hilarious:

   “53 year old gentleman, the millionaire, he loves to just shower you. He travels a lot, he wants more kids, he wants to remarry. Deep lover kind of guy. But he wants you to be a housewife.”

2. The Overseas Athlete (35 years old):

   • Traits: Christian, values commitment, ensures Lauren feels safe and loved.
   • Condition: Doesn’t believe in marriage or having kids, desires a non-traditional relationship.

   [03:26] Jess Hilarious:

   “This other 35 year old man, he's an overseas athlete. He wants commitment. He's a Christian, God fearing guy, understands values. He goes out of his way to make sure that you are, that you know you're safe and you're loved by him. But he don't believe in marriage and he don't want kids and you want both of those things.”

Lauren, portrayed by Holly Hunter, expresses her reservations:

[03:19] Holly Hunter:

“But I can't travel with him.”

[04:04] Jess Hilarious:

“He's a big controlling, those were the disadvantages.”

The hosts debate the merits and drawbacks of both options, highlighting Lauren's desire for autonomy and meaningful relationships.

Listener Callers Shoot Their Shot

The primary segment involves listeners calling in to express interest in Lauren, leading to dynamic interactions between the hosts, Lauren, and the callers.

Caller 1: Triana

[05:00] Triana:

“Do you like girls?”

Lauren responds cautiously, leading to a discussion about her sexual preferences.

[06:27] Jess Hilarious:

“I'm voting for the guy.”

Notable Quote:
[05:24] Triana:

“I'mma take you on a day. I'mma give you a free few drinks.”

Caller 2: Eric from Edge of Daybreak

[10:01] Eric:

“I've been divorced just one time. I've been with her for over, like, 20 years, and then when we got married, she divorced me a year later.”

[11:27] Holly Hunter:

“I like the different personalities so far.”

Eric presents himself as a mature, responsible individual seeking a stable relationship.

Notable Quote:
[12:02] Eric:

“You just gotta learn how to work it out for the best.”

Caller 3: Cash

[17:11] Cash:

“I work at a university. I'm in mathematics.”

[18:00] Cash:

“I definitely want to travel. Definitely can commit. I'm just looking for the one.”

Cash showcases intellectual depth and a commitment to personal growth.

Notable Quote:
[17:23] Cash:

“I'm actually in mathematics.”

Caller 4: Jesse

[15:49] Jesse:

“I'm a worker from Louisville, Kentucky. I travel a lot, and I'm just looking for a female that's gonna take my flaws and I take hers.”

[16:33] Jess Hilarious:

“Do not ever lead saying you're not special. I don't want you to do that.”

Jesse conveys a desire for mutual acceptance and understanding in a relationship.

Hosts' Perspectives and Advice

Throughout the caller interactions, DJ Envy and Jess Hilarious provide commentary and advice:

• Jess Hilarious emphasizes the importance of genuine connection and compatibility over superficial traits.

  [19:41] Jess Hilarious:

  “I honestly said I'm gonna go with the older gentleman, the 52 year old. He came closer to my 53 year old gentleman that I gave you.”

• DJ Envy often sides with the more emotionally attuned or understanding callers, highlighting traits like pampering and attentiveness.

  [20:01] DJ Envy:

  “I like Trapp Triana. Because you know a woman's gonna know how a woman wants to be treated.”

Final Decisions and Conclusions

After deliberating through the callers' pitches, Jess and DJ Envy share their final thoughts:

• Jess Hilarious prefers the older gentleman for his soothing voice and calm demeanor, believing these traits would disarm Lauren's feistiness.

  [19:41] Jess Hilarious:

  “He was the only person that you had you blushing. You don't even know the man. Soothing, very calm.”

• DJ Envy leans towards Triana, appreciating her understanding and the potential for nurturing Lauren's needs.

  [20:01] DJ Envy:

  “She could brush your hair, she could brush your wigs. She could really pamper you.”

Lauren, reflecting on the options, mentions her willingness to explore friendships if romantic avenues don't pan out:

[20:55] Holly Hunter:

“If it just didn't work out anywhere else, I figured, you know, me and my homegirl, I would have to, like, just make her relax a little bit. But we could go hang out and figure out, you know, we could be friends.”

Closing Remarks

As the segment wraps up, the hosts maintain their engaging banter, teasing future interactions and leaving listeners anticipating Lauren's final decision.

[21:31] Jess Hilarious:

“That's what it is.”

[21:38] DJ Envy:

“We're the Breakfast Club. Good morning.”

---

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• DJ Envy:
  [02:39] “Morning, everybody. It's DJ Envy. Just hilarious. Charlamagne is out today.”

• Jess Hilarious:
  [02:58] “53 year old gentleman, the millionaire, he loves to just shower you.”

• Triana:
  [05:02] “Do you like girls?”

• Cash:
  [17:11] “I work at a university. I'm in mathematics.”

• Jess Hilarious:
  [16:34] “How old are you?”

---

Conclusion

This episode of The Breakfast Club delves deep into Lauren LaRosa's quest for love, balancing humor with heartfelt conversations. Through engaging caller interactions and insightful host commentary, listeners gain a nuanced understanding of the complexities involved in modern relationships. Whether you're a fan of the show's dynamic hosts or tuned in for relationship advice, this episode offers valuable perspectives and entertaining dialogues.

Transcript

[John Cameron Mitchell]

This is John Cameron Mitchell and my new fiction podcast series, Cancellation island stars Holly Hunter as Karen, a wellness influencer who launches a rehab for the recently cancelled. In the future, we will all be canceled for 15 minutes, but don't worry, we'll take you from broke to woke or your money back. Cancellation Island's revolutionary rehab therapies, like bad touch football, anti racism, spin class, and mandatory ayahuasca ceremonies are designed to force the council to confront their worst impulses. But everything starts to fall apart when people start disappearing.

[Holly Hunter]

Karen, where have you brought us?

[John Cameron Mitchell]

Cancellation island, where a second chance might just be your last. Listen to Cancellation island on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Kevin Smith]

Hey, kids, it's me, Kevin Smith.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

And it's me, Harley Quinn Smith.

[Kevin Smith]

That's my daughter, man, who my wife has always said is just a beardless, dickless version of me. And that's the name of our podcast, Beardless Me. I'm the old one, I'm the young one. And every week we try to make each other laugh really hard. Sounds innocent, doesn't it? A lot of cussing, a lot of bad language. It's for adults only. Or listen to it with your kid. Could be a family show. We're not quite sure. We're still figuring it out.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

It's a work in progress.

[Kevin Smith]

Listen to Beardless me on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Damien Hirst]

Do you remember what you said the first night I came over here?

[John Cameron Mitchell]

Ow.

[Damien Hirst]

Go slower. From Blumhouse TV, iHeart podcasts and Ember 20 comes an all new fictional comedy podcast series. Join the flighty Damien Hirst as he unravels the mystery of his vanished boyfriend. I've been spending all my time looking for answers about what happened to Santi and what's the way to find a missing person. Sleep with everyone he knew, Obviously. Listen to the hookup on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite show. 45 years ago, a Virginia soul band called the Edge of Daybreak recorded their debut album, Behind Bars. Record collectors consider it a masterpiece. The band's surviving members are long out of prison, but they say they have some unfinished business.

[Edge of Daybreak]

The Edge of Daybreak, Eyes of Love.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Was supposed to have been followed up by another album.

[Damien Hirst]

Listen to Soul incarcerated on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[DJ Envy]

Morning, everybody. It's DJ Envy. Just hilarious. Charlamagne the guy we are the Breakfast Club. Charlamagne is out today. Lauren LaRosa is filling in and Jess is going to try to help Lauren LaRosa with her love life a little bit.

[Jess Hilarious]

Yeah.

[DJ Envy]

Now you had some recommendations, some guys that she could possibly be dating?

[Jess Hilarious]

I did, I did. I'm just going to run, you know, run through them quickly again. 53 year old gentleman, the millionaire, he loves to just shower you. He travels a lot, he wants more kids, he wants to remarry. Deep lover kind of guy. But he wants you to be a housewife. And I know you said you be outside, you know, but what would make you stay in a millionaire man who ain't never really home anyway, you know.

[Holly Hunter]

Oh, he never home with me.

[Jess Hilarious]

No, he travels to work, he travels a lot. He going with him. He's not a millionaire for nothing.

[Holly Hunter]

But I can't travel with him.

[Jess Hilarious]

You can, but he wants you to be a housewife. And he's a big controlling, those were the disadvantages. Now you got this other 35 year old man, he's an overseas athlete. He wants commitment. He's a Christian, God fearing guy, understands values. He goes out of his way to make sure that you are, that you know you're safe and you're loved by him. But he don't believe in marriage and he don't want kids and you want both of those things.

[Holly Hunter]

So let's travel with.

[Jess Hilarious]

Oh you, you may be able to in the beginning but he, if he wants you to be a housewife, he wants you at home. He wants somebody that's going to make his home a home. He wants to remarry you, he wants to keep you on tuck.

[Holly Hunter]

Yeah, I'm just not a keep on tuck person.

[Jess Hilarious]

You can do your show from the house.

[Holly Hunter]

Yeah, but like then what after that? Like, like I'm just having, I'm sitting at home.

[Jess Hilarious]

Like he said, you ain't never gotta ever come back in the studio. You can do this from home. He done work something out.

[Holly Hunter]

He tried to get me home. You ain't never gotta work again.

[DJ Envy]

You ain't never gotta work again.

[Jess Hilarious]

This is a powerful man. He didn't work something out. Look, my wife need to be, be home like she need to work, be able to work from the house.

[Holly Hunter]

And it's, it's, it's. But I'm there by myself. It's no dinner party, Nothing. Pick one 35 year old don't want kids or marriage. And is he like set on that or can that be.

[DJ Envy]

We'll give you a chance to think about it. Cause we got a lot of people on the phone lines. Now I'm. I'mma step back. I'mma let Jess figure out who's good for you. Yeah.

[Holly Hunter]

Cause you done told them I don't want somebody don't need to have a job.

[Jess Hilarious]

They can be in jail.

[DJ Envy]

Hello? Who's this? Oh, hey, Triana. How you feeling this morning?

[Triana]

I'm good.

[DJ Envy]

What are you calling for, ma'am?

[Triana]

I'm trying to shoot my shot at Lauren.

[DJ Envy]

Oh, you try to shoot your shot at Lauren. Okay. Yeah. Lauren said come one. Come on. All right now. Are you a stud?

[Triana]

What's up, Lauren?

[Holly Hunter]

Hey, what's up? How are you?

[Triana]

You like girls?

[Holly Hunter]

No.

[Triana]

I can change your mind. Just one day.

[Holly Hunter]

Would you do it that one day? I'm. I'm curious.

[Triana]

I'mma take you on a day. I'mma give you a free few drink.

[Holly Hunter]

Okay.

[Triana]

We going to talk and then we going to go to my house.

[Holly Hunter]

Now.

[Jess Hilarious]

Are you a student?

[DJ Envy]

Kind of sound like.

[Jess Hilarious]

Does sound like.

[Holly Hunter]

Sound like a stud.

[Triana]

I'm okay. I. I'm. I'm. I'm a woman. I like boys and girls. I just got out of poly like a year ago.

[Holly Hunter]

What's your Instagram? Let me see what you look like.

[Jess Hilarious]

Why does it matter?

[Holly Hunter]

Because I'm curious.

[Triana]

T R A P P. Hold on, let me make sure.

[Holly Hunter]

Don't try to make it private. Don't try to delete photos.

[Triana]

I'm not deleting nothing. This a new Instagram. So T R A P, huh? D O, D, D O, G, R.

[Jess Hilarious]

G. Just spell it. What is it? I mean, not spelling, just trap.

[Holly Hunter]

God.

[Triana]

Oh, you be trapping triangle with two A's at the end. So it's T, R, I, A, N, A, A.

[Jess Hilarious]

Okay, so trap. God. Triana. T, R A P, G O D.

[Holly Hunter]

T R I. Triana does not look anything like what I thought she would look like. Triana is giving. Hey, bestie.

[DJ Envy]

Okay, but she don't want you as a bestie.

[Jess Hilarious]

No, girl, she. I feel like if Lauren would do a woman, it would have to be a student.

[Triana]

No, no. Still need no damn stud.

[Jess Hilarious]

Damn.

[DJ Envy]

But Triana, you. You hold on. I'm voting for you. Hold on.

[Holly Hunter]

All right. I'm voting for you.

[Jess Hilarious]

That's my vote.

[DJ Envy]

That's my vote. I know.

[Jess Hilarious]

That's like Triana, the body is giving. I'm not voting any girl.

[Holly Hunter]

I look at Triana and I'm like, yes, bestie.

[Jess Hilarious]

Like, take a drink.

[Holly Hunter]

Yeah, let's. Let's go.

[DJ Envy]

Maybe that's what you need. Sit your ass down. No. Hello? Who's this? Yo, this cute, Q, what's up?

[Jess Hilarious]

Thank you.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Damn.

[Jess Hilarious]

I finally made it through.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

That's crazy. That's crazy.

[DJ Envy]

What you calling for?

[Holly Hunter]

It might be destiny.

[DJ Envy]

Hey, I. I'm trying to shoot my shots.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

I just want to shout out my.

[Edge of Daybreak]

Clothing brand real quick.

[Holly Hunter]

Oh, damn. Anyone holla at you happening, I'll be thinking it's destiny. And they'd be like, no.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Hello?

[DJ Envy]

Who's this?

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Yeah.

[DJ Envy]

Take us off Bluetooth, bro.

[Holly Hunter]

But you got your window down. You don't got air conditioning in your car.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

I just wanted to tell.

[DJ Envy]

Just let Lauren know the.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

The old drug dealers is just so.

[Holly Hunter]

You need to find them kind of.

[DJ Envy]

Guys, you know what I'm saying?

[Harley Quinn Smith]

The ones that he's winning drug dealers.

[DJ Envy]

And they got his phone call.

[Holly Hunter]

I think he's telling me, you got to find a reform somebody that's like, do it, but not no more.

[Jess Hilarious]

But did not tell you that. I said, I feel like you like somebody whose background is the streets, but their mindset is business. Legitimate business now. So you like a ghost from power.

[DJ Envy]

Hello? Who's this? Hello? Who's this?

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Hello?

[DJ Envy]

What's your name, ma'am?

[Harley Quinn Smith]

My name is P. P. Can you.

[DJ Envy]

Take us off Bluetooth for speaker, please? Exactly. Yeah, my name is Pete.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

I got a story to tell.

[DJ Envy]

All right, well, take us off Bluetooth for speaker, cuz you sound mad loud. Damn.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Oh.

[DJ Envy]

Hello?

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Hello? Can you hear me now?

[DJ Envy]

Yeah. What's your story, brother?

[Harley Quinn Smith]

All right, tell Laura not to be scared of no pen pal. Because my wife. My wife and I. She was my pen pal for my last 10 years. I was 320 months.

[DJ Envy]

Can you take us off Bluetooth? We can hear you on Bluetooth for speaker, bro. Can you take us off Bluetooth?

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Hold on.

[DJ Envy]

He mad at me. He mad at me. Hello?

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Okay. Okay.

[DJ Envy]

All right, go ahead. Tell us back.

[Holly Hunter]

He said he had a pen pal when he was incarcerated. He was sentenced to 10 years. His wife. His wife now was his pen pal then. And it worked out. He's basically telling me, don't be scared of a pen pal.

[DJ Envy]

There you go.

[Jess Hilarious]

Yeah, I.

[Holly Hunter]

That's just not what I want for myself right now. Like, God forbid I'm dealing with somebody and get into a situation of sorts. You know, I'm. I'm loyal and I'm locked in, but that's not what I'm aiming for.

[Jess Hilarious]

You know what? Jail guys probably would like you because they're like. She reaches out to lawyers and she can help us get out. She understands.

[DJ Envy]

Hello? Who's this?

[Triana]

It's Santriana?

[DJ Envy]

Oh, she's still on hold.

[Kevin Smith]

Hold on.

[DJ Envy]

I'm sorry. That's still my vote.

[Edge of Daybreak]

Yo.

[DJ Envy]

Hello? Who's this?

[Edge of Daybreak]

Hello, this is Eric.

[DJ Envy]

Oh, okay.

[Holly Hunter]

All right, boy.

[DJ Envy]

Where you calling from, Eric?

[Edge of Daybreak]

Houston, Texas.

[DJ Envy]

Houston, Texas. Okay, brother. Go ahead, man. Shoot your shot at Lauren.

[Edge of Daybreak]

Yeah. What's going on? How you doing? I've been hearing a lot about you. I don't know too much, but, you know, I'm at work one now, so you gotta bear with me.

[Jess Hilarious]

Look at her face.

[Edge of Daybreak]

I wouldn't expect him to get through.

[DJ Envy]

What do you do, sir?

[Jess Hilarious]

Yes.

[Edge of Daybreak]

Oh, I'm a CDL driver.

[Jess Hilarious]

Oh, okay. Do you have kids?

[Edge of Daybreak]

Yes, I do.

[Jess Hilarious]

How old are you?

[Edge of Daybreak]

I may not look much. I'm 52. But when you look at me, you wouldn't even think that. A lot of people believe I'm in my 30s, but that's what it is. Yeah. I'm a dad.

[Jess Hilarious]

Okay. Have you ever. Have you ever been married before?

[Edge of Daybreak]

Right, right. I've been divorced just one time. It's kind of funny, that story, too. I've been with her for over, like, 20 years, and then when we got married, she, like, a year later, she divorced me. It's crazy. It's another story, though.

[Jess Hilarious]

Okay.

[DJ Envy]

Have you ever dealt with a woman with different wigs?

[Edge of Daybreak]

I've ever dealt with a woman with what?

[DJ Envy]

With different wigs.

[Jess Hilarious]

Different wigs.

[DJ Envy]

Wigs, yeah, wigs.

[Edge of Daybreak]

Yeah. I'd be teasing her about that, man. As long as.

[Holly Hunter]

Thank you, babe.

[Edge of Daybreak]

You know? Yeah. Yeah, that's funny, man. That. That keeps me going. But, yeah, Charlemagne gives you a hard time with that. But, yeah, it doesn't. Long as it looks good. Long as it ain't looking like a rat on top of your head or something like that, it's all good.

[Kevin Smith]

Okay.

[Holly Hunter]

I like the different personalities so far.

[DJ Envy]

He has. He has a good job. He has a child. He's been divorced. He knows that. He knows how to treat a woman.

[Holly Hunter]

Very close to that voice. And soothing.

[Jess Hilarious]

Yes, it's the last.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Yeah.

[Jess Hilarious]

Yeah, this is the last.

[Edge of Daybreak]

Very close to my mom, too, you know? You know, sometimes we bump heads. But that's my mom, though. But that's like my first girlfriend, so it is what it is.

[Jess Hilarious]

Okay. All right. How would you deal with an argument if you and Lauren were disappointed, you know, disagreeing on something, and. And she got a little rowdy, you know? Cause she younger. She's younger. She not in her 50s, you know, and she got a little spice to her. How would you handle that?

[Edge of Daybreak]

Well, you know, when you have a disagreement, there's always a conclusion. And sometimes if you don't come with one, sometimes you gotta agree to disagree. But at least you move forward, learn from that, you know, and you get into it. Everybody, people at work, people at, you know, home, even your own kids. But you just gotta learn how to, you know, just work it out. That's basically the best thing I can say. You can't just everything not gonna go the way you want it to go, but, you know, just try to work it out for the best. As long as you see what's ahead.

[Jess Hilarious]

Okay. Do you have all your teeth?

[DJ Envy]

Oh, woah.

[Edge of Daybreak]

Of course. In his own mind. It's not on.

[DJ Envy]

All right, perfect. This last question. Pause, pause, pause. How's the D game? Levitra cialis gaslit.

[Edge of Daybreak]

Oh, man, you shouldn't be asking the ladies asking that.

[DJ Envy]

Making sure you right. Cuz you kind of old. I want to make sure it still works.

[Holly Hunter]

Envy going to do.

[Edge of Daybreak]

Oh, man. Bro, I'm not old when you look at me. You ain't going to get old.

[DJ Envy]

That's my. I want to make sure my sister's happy. All right, all right. We going to put you on hold. I'm voting for the girl still.

[Jess Hilarious]

I'm voting for the guy.

[Holly Hunter]

Okay, WDAs. That's what we going to call him.

[DJ Envy]

5851051. Shoot your shot at Lauren. And when we come back, Jess is going to make a final decision. It's the Breakfast Club. Good morning. Morning, everybody. It's Dej envy. Jess, Hilarious Charlamagne the guy. We are the Breakfast Club. If you just joined us today, Jess is trying to figure out help Lauren with finding a man. She gave her two options and we're just taking the phone calls to see if there's any better option. On the line, we have Nathan on the line. Nathan, good morning.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Good morning.

[DJ Envy]

All right. What's up, man? Shoot your shot at Lauren.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Hey, Lauren, how you doing?

[Holly Hunter]

I'm doing good, how are you?

[Harley Quinn Smith]

I'm doing fine. I want that. Always ask your question. Your birthday is November 17th, right?

[Holly Hunter]

No, babe, it's November 22nd. But you was close though, 20s.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Oh, because I'm the 18th, though.

[Jess Hilarious]

Oh, my God, another Scorpio.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

You don't like Scorpios?

[Holly Hunter]

Y'all a good time, but it's a short time, not a long time.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

What you mean by that? That's what I always wanted to know. Like what you mean by that.

[Holly Hunter]

Exactly what I said. Y'all a good time. It's fun, it's fiery, you know it's intimate, but it don't last long. It's like, y'all, like, don't take this the wrong way, but y'all, like, fun boys. It's just like, we're gonna go out, we're gonna have a good time. We're gonna do what we do, and then.

[Jess Hilarious]

And that's what it's meant for. That's it.

[Holly Hunter]

Yeah.

[DJ Envy]

Why don't you ask that man? What I do is he can have a good job.

[Holly Hunter]

I'm just telling you.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

No, I get it. I get what you say. I get what you're saying, though. But do you. Are you into, like, having good times, or are you looking for, like, a serious relationship?

[Holly Hunter]

I think I've had a good time for, you know, all the time that I've been here. At this point, I do want to continue having a good time, but I want to do it with my person.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

All right, that's not a problem. So, like, are you into going on, like, dates or, like. Like this right here? Would you go out with somebody if you met somebody like this?

[Holly Hunter]

Yeah, I would go out and see and explore, because.

[DJ Envy]

Where would you take it, bro?

[Holly Hunter]

Yeah, where are you taking me?

[Harley Quinn Smith]

I mean, it. Like, it's all about what you, like. I know how to eat is just, like, regular, like. But we could go bowling, paintballing. It don't really matter. That's what I mean.

[DJ Envy]

What kind of restaurant would you take? First date, where you taking? Red Lobster, Sizzler? Where you going? First date.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

It don't matter to me. Like, I'm not really, like, a picky person when it comes to, like, restaurants, you know, I kind of leave that into the woman's hands because they know more than us, when they really do.

[Jess Hilarious]

And then also, it's not really all about the dinner. I know you said I wanted to do something funny. It's about the conversation, too. Can. Can she. Can you have an intellectual, right?

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Can we pick each other brains? Like, that's what I'm like. That's what I'm about.

[Holly Hunter]

The only thing. The only thing, though, I will say is. Is, like, it would have been so fire if you was like, I'm gonna take you here because.

[DJ Envy]

Whatever you want to do, I don't like.

[Holly Hunter]

Yeah, I like the man with a plan.

[DJ Envy]

Sorry, Nathan. Let's go to another caller. Let's go. Line six. Hello, who's this? Hello? Yeah, hey, what's your name, bro?

[Edge of Daybreak]

Jesse.

[DJ Envy]

Hey, Jess, you want to holler that, man? Shoot your shot of Lauren.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Hi, I'm just a worker from Louisville, Kentucky.

[DJ Envy]

Oh, boy.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

I travel a lot, and, you know, I'm just looking for a female that's.

[Edge of Daybreak]

Gonna take my flaws and I take hers.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

And, you know, I'm not nobody special.

[Edge of Daybreak]

But I know how to treat a woman.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

I'm from the South. I'm from Mississippi, and I would love.

[Edge of Daybreak]

To meet a woman that knows how.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

To treat a man.

[Jess Hilarious]

Do not ever lead saying you're not special. I don't want you to do that. I don't ever want you to do that again.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

I'm not special.

[DJ Envy]

I'm special, bro.

[Jess Hilarious]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Holly Hunter]

You can't do that the way my. You know, the way she wants confidence, my man. Pull up like, yeah, spell Mississippi.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Yeah, report.

[DJ Envy]

No, spell it.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Oh.

[Jess Hilarious]

Oh, he smelled Mississippi. You. You left the second set of S's out. Brother spelled Mississippi.

[DJ Envy]

Oh, he from Mississippi, kids.

[Holly Hunter]

The way he spelled it, though, he know how to play spades for sure.

[DJ Envy]

Let's try. Let's try one more. Hello. Who's this?

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Yo, this Cash.

[DJ Envy]

Oh, boy, she gonna love you, Cash. Where you calling from?

[Harley Quinn Smith]

I'm calling from Atlanta, man, but I'm from. I'm from up top. Up north, man.

[DJ Envy]

I love you, Cash. Go ahead, man. What do you do, Cash?

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Yeah, I'm educated, man.

[DJ Envy]

What you mean, an educator? You're a street educator or you work, or you a teacher? No, no, no, no, no.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Higher education, man. I work at university. I don't want to reveal that right now, though. It's university, but, you know, trying to help out the. The youth.

[DJ Envy]

Right? He works at a college. What do you teach, Jim?

[Harley Quinn Smith]

No, I'm actually in mathematics.

[DJ Envy]

Mathematics.

[Holly Hunter]

Envy.

[Jess Hilarious]

You are.

[Holly Hunter]

Judging.

[DJ Envy]

You.

[Holly Hunter]

He's being protective.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Thank you, man. Let me. Yo, you trying to. You trying to help me, or you try dissing, man, to clear it up.

[Jess Hilarious]

Your name is. Your name is Cash. So it's.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

It's Cassius, but, you know, I go by Cash for sure, because they, you know, Americans can't pronounce Cash.

[Holly Hunter]

Cass, where you from?

[DJ Envy]

You from?

[Holly Hunter]

He said Americans. Like he's not from America.

[DJ Envy]

Where you from, bro?

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Yeah, I'm from the States. I'm from the States. Yeah, my people's from Haiti. We Haitian.

[Jess Hilarious]

Oh, okay.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

All right, man. You know, I mean.

[Holly Hunter]

Oh, so they can't play with you?

[DJ Envy]

What you mean?

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Yeah, baby, I. I don't want you to play with me. So what's up? Talk to me. I'll talk back.

[Jess Hilarious]

How old are you?

[Harley Quinn Smith]

I'm 36.

[Jess Hilarious]

36. You got any kids? Were you ever once married?

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Nah, no kids, no marriage. No, none of that.

[Jess Hilarious]

No, none of that, man. Okay. You were like, you looking for love too?

[Harley Quinn Smith]

I'm looking for love with Lauren.

[Jess Hilarious]

Now you're looking for love with Lauren. But are you looking for a commitment? Because she, you, she has a little bit of things that she does. Like now are you looking to marry? Do you want to have kids, things like that? Do you want to have fun? Travel, things like that?

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Yeah, absolutely. All the above. You know, definitely looking for some kiddos. You know what I'm saying? I definitely want to travel. Definitely can commit. You know, I'm saying I have my phone now. I'm just looking for the one.

[Jess Hilarious]

Okay, now back in your past. That's rewinded. Have you ever been to jail?

[Harley Quinn Smith]

I mean, I gotta. I got arrested before, but.

[Jess Hilarious]

So yay.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Record is I've never done no time. Yeah, yeah, my record is pretty clean.

[DJ Envy]

Okay, so what you think? What you think? Now see, he's pretty cool. He's a teacher at a university. Y'all can even role play. You could come and teach or change my grade and you know, go, all that.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

You feel me? Give you some extra credit, you know what I mean?

[Jess Hilarious]

I'm not gonna lie. I think he's a fun time.

[Holly Hunter]

Yeah, I'm not mad at him. I got a list of my top three.

[Jess Hilarious]

Yeah.

[DJ Envy]

So, Jess, what do you think?

[Jess Hilarious]

I honestly said I'm gonna go with the older gentleman, the 52 year old. He came closer to my 53 year old gentleman that I gave you. The contender. I like him. I liked his voice. He was the only person that you that had you blushing. You don't even know the man. Soothing, very calm. Yes. His voice, I feel like that will disarm you.

[Holly Hunter]

Cause you're very feisty.

[DJ Envy]

I like Trapp Triana.

[Holly Hunter]

You like Trapp Triana? My homegirl.

[DJ Envy]

I like trapped Triana. Because you know a woman's gonna know how a woman wants to be treated. She could brush your hair, she could brush your wigs. She could really pamper you the way that you need to be pampered. That she can help you putting on all your brown girl grinding girl clothes on and all your fashion Nova and Teemu. She could order it so it's right there. As soon as you get. That's what I like. So you can get your makeup, your lip glue. Good.

[Jess Hilarious]

But so can one of your homegirls.

[Holly Hunter]

Exactly. Cause I've never dated a girl and I didn't think that that was in my future.

[DJ Envy]

Don't knock it. It could be a blessing. Don't Block your blessing.

[Holly Hunter]

All you talking about is stuff that my group chats do.

[Jess Hilarious]

Help her brush her wigs, order from Teemu, invite her on trips and stuff.

[DJ Envy]

The group chat. Don't eat the box.

[Jess Hilarious]

Oh, God. She's not a gayer. She doesn't want to explore that yet.

[Holly Hunter]

Well, I liked.

[Jess Hilarious]

What did you like?

[Holly Hunter]

Cass and I like WDAs.

[Jess Hilarious]

So you do like Cass?

[DJ Envy]

Like Cass. You like Cass.

[Jess Hilarious]

She like Cassandra.

[Holly Hunter]

You know, the backup. If it just didn't work out anywhere else, I figured, you know, me and my homegirl, I would have to, like, just make her relax a little bit. But we could go hang out and figure out, you know, we could be friends.

[Jess Hilarious]

Lauren, a low key hopeless romantic. Like you're. You're low key. Like, very low key with it.

[DJ Envy]

Oh, my goodness. All right, well, we have the latest with Lauren coming up. What we talking about?

[Holly Hunter]

Omarion.

[DJ Envy]

Omarion?

[Holly Hunter]

Omarion is yelling at the people in the audience. Cause they ain't doing what he wants them to do at the millennium.

[Jess Hilarious]

He's not the Zen king. I never seen Omarion yell, baby.

[Holly Hunter]

He might have had a couple shots before this performance. We gonna talk about it?

[DJ Envy]

All right, we'll get to that. Next, it's the Breakfast Club. Good morning.

[Jess Hilarious]

Wake that ass up early in the morning.

[Edge of Daybreak]

The Breakfast Club.

[John Cameron Mitchell]

This is John Cameron Mitchell and my new fiction podcast series, Cancellation island stars Holly Hunter as Karen, a wellness influencer who launches a rehab for the recently canceled. In the future, we will all be canceled for 15 minutes, but don't worry, we'll take you from broke to woke or your money back. Cancellation Island's revolutionary rehab therapies like bad touch football, anti racism spin class, and mandatory ayahuasca ceremonies are designed to force the council to confront their worst impulses. But everything starts to fall apart when people start disappearing.

[Holly Hunter]

Karen, where have you brought us?

[John Cameron Mitchell]

Cancellation island, where a second chance might just be your last. Listen to Cancellation island on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Kevin Smith]

Hey, kids, it's me, Kevin Smith.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

And it's me, Harley Quinn Smith.

[Kevin Smith]

That's my daughter, man. Who my wife has always said is just a beardless, dless version of me. And that's the name of our podcast, Beardless Me. I'm the old one.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

I'm the young one.

[Kevin Smith]

And every week, we try to make each other laugh really hard. Sounds innocent, doesn't it? A lot of cussing, a lot of bad language. It's for adults only. Or listen to it with your kid. Could be a family show. We're not quite sure. We're still figuring it out.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

It's a work in progress.

[Kevin Smith]

Listen to Beardless me on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Damien Hirst]

Do you remember what you said the first night I came over here?

[John Cameron Mitchell]

Ow.

[Damien Hirst]

Go slower. From Blumhouse TV, iheart podcasts and ember 20 comes an all new fictional comedy podcast series. Join the flighty Damien Hirst as he unravels the mystery of his vanished boyfriend. I've been spending all my time looking for answers about what happened to Santi and what's the way to find a missing person? Sleep with everyone he knew, obviously. Listen to the hookup on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. 45 years ago, a Virginia soul band called the Edge of Daybreak recorded their debut album, Behind Bars. Record collectors consider it a masterpiece. The band's surviving members are long out of prison, but they say they have some unfinished business.

[Edge of Daybreak]

The Edge of Daybreak, Hours of Love.

[Harley Quinn Smith]

Was supposed to have been followed up by another album.

[Damien Hirst]

Listen to Soul incarcerated on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.