Carefully Reckless: My Past vs. My Future

Summary

The Breakfast Club: "Carefully Reckless: My Past vs. My Future"
Release Date: June 9, 2025

---

Introduction

In this compelling episode of The Breakfast Club, titled "Carefully Reckless: My Past vs. My Future," host Michael Kasson engages in an intimate and candid conversation with comedian and actress Jess Hilarious, alongside guest Taylor. The discussion delves deep into the complexities of past relationships, personal growth, and the challenges of moving forward while dealing with unresolved feelings.

---

Jess Hilarious Shares Her Personal Journey

The episode kicks off with Jess Hilarious recounting her tumultuous relationship with her first boyfriend, a childhood friend who was deeply entrenched in the drug trade.

Jess Hilarious [02:30]: "One of my childhood friends was my very first boyfriend in life. He was the big-time drug dealer in our city. We've been together on and off for about 15 years."

Jess paints a vivid picture of her life intertwined with crime and the constant threats that came with dating someone involved in dangerous activities.

Jess Hilarious [03:20]: "During the time of our relationship, he was back and forth to prison, involved in shootouts, all the things that would make a girl want out."

Despite the chaos, Jess reflects on the longevity of their relationship, emphasizing that her relationship remained tumultuous but free from infidelity.

Jess Hilarious [05:00]: "He never cheated, as far as I know. But being the girlfriend of a drug dealer became very old and tired for me as I got older. So I gave him an ultimatum. Me or that life."

---

Confronting the Past and Embracing the Future

Jess made a definitive choice to leave the perilous lifestyle behind, setting the stage for a healthier relationship with a new partner. However, three years later, her ex-boyfriend resurfaces, presenting a dilemma between past attachments and present commitments.

Jess Hilarious [06:00]: "A few months ago, my ex pops up out of nowhere at my job. I thought he was coming to rob it. What the fuck?"

Taylor and Michael Kasson offer their perspectives, highlighting the internal conflict Jess faces.

Taylor [07:20]: "I think just don't jump out there and just, like, go, you know, just because he came to you."

The conversation intensifies as Jess grapples with the resurgence of feelings for her ex amidst her engagement to her current fiancé.

Jess Hilarious [14:30]: "He tried to be legit and everything. And she said, wow. Crazy thing is, I felt so good talking to him. All the memories flushed. I was back in love."

---

Navigating Emotional Turmoil and Making Tough Decisions

The hosts delve into the emotional turmoil Jess experiences, questioning whether her feelings are rooted in genuine love or residual attachments from a turbulent past.

Michael Kasson [08:07]: "And everything that glitters is not gold."

Taylor [20:18]: "Stop holding onto the what if."

Jess's current fiancé, described as everything she once desired, stands in stark contrast to her tumultuous past, prompting a deep discussion on loyalty, personal growth, and the fear of repeating past mistakes.

Michael Kasson [16:01]: "You've known him since he was younger. He knows what to say to get back in your good graces."

Jess Hilarious [30:53]: "I don't regret it though for like four years. Like you still... What are you holding on to, sir?"

---

Key Insights and Discussions

Throughout the episode, several key themes emerge:

1. The Impact of Past Relationships: Jess's long-term relationship with a drug dealer illustrates how past experiences can shape present decisions and emotional states.

2. Fear of Relapse into Old Habits: The discussion underscores the fear that individuals might inadvertently fall back into detrimental patterns when confronted with unresolved pasts.

3. Importance of Self-Reflection: Jess's journey emphasizes the need for introspection and understanding one's true feelings before making life-altering decisions.

4. Support Systems: The role of friends like Taylor and host Michael Kasson proves invaluable in navigating complex emotional landscapes.

Taylor [20:20]: "Girl, fuck that, then."

5. The Complexity of Love and Loyalty: The episode sheds light on how love isn't always straightforward and can be entangled with loyalty, fear, and personal history.

---

Conclusions

In "Carefully Reckless: My Past vs. My Future," Jess Hilarious opens up about the intricate dance between her past and present relationships. The episode serves as a poignant reminder of the enduring impact of past choices and the courage required to forge a path toward a healthier, more secure future.

Listeners are left contemplating the delicate balance between honoring one's past and embracing the promise of the future, all while navigating the complexities of love, loyalty, and personal growth.

Jess Hilarious [32:25]: "Girl, fuck that, then."

---

Notable Quotes:

• Jess Hilarious [02:30]: "One of my childhood friends was my very first boyfriend in life. He was the big-time drug dealer in our city."

• Michael Kasson [08:07]: "And everything that glitters is not gold."

• Taylor [20:20]: "Stop holding onto the what if."

• Jess Hilarious [32:25]: "Girl, fuck that, then."

---

Final Thoughts

"Carefully Reckless: My Past vs. My Future" offers an unfiltered look into the struggles of breaking free from a dangerous past while striving for a better future. Through Jess Hilarious's heartfelt revelations and the supportive dialogue with Taylor and Michael Kasson, listeners gain valuable insights into overcoming personal demons and making empowering life choices.

---

Listen to more episodes of The Breakfast Club on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Transcript

[Michael Kasson]

This is an iHeart podcast. I'm Michael Kasson, founder and CEO of 3C Ventures and your guide on Good Company, the podcast where I sit down with the boldest innovators shaping what's next. In this episode, I'm joined by Anjali Su, CEO of Tubi. We dive into the competitive world of streaming.

[Katherine Townsend]

What others dismiss as niche, we embrace as core. There's so many stories out there, and if you can find a way to curate and help the right person discover the right content, the term that we always hear from our audience is that they feel seen.

[Michael Kasson]

Listen to Good company on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Katherine Townsend]

Over the years of making my true crime podcast Hell and Gone, I've learned no town is too small for murder. I'm Katherine Townsend. I've heard from hundreds of people across the country with an unsolved murder in their community.

[Taylor]

I was calling about the murder of my husb.

[Michael Kasson]

The murderer is still out there.

[Katherine Townsend]

Each week I investigate a new case. If there is a case we should Hear about, call 678-744-6145. Listen to Helen Gone Murderline on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Taylor]

Here's the deal.

[Michael Kasson]

We gotta set ourselves up. See, retirement is the long game. We gotta make moves and make them early. Set up goals. Don't worry about a setback. Just save up and stack up to reach them. Let's put in the right position pregame to greater things. Start building your retirement [e-mail], brought to you by AARP and the Ad Council. If you've ever wondered what diseases medieval.

[Katherine Townsend]

Pee tests and cocktails have in common, you're in the right place. On our show, this Podcast Will Kill youl. We explore the wild world of diseases, their history, biology and impact. Today, vaccines are, in part, a victim of their own success. They have been so effective in preventing disease and death that we take them for granted. New episodes drop every Tuesday on the exactly right network. Listen to this podcast will kill you on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Michael Kasson]

Welcome to Carefully Reckless, a production of iHeartRadio and the Black Effect. And just like that, we're back on the air. Welcome. Welcome back to yet another Carefully reckless episode with your girl. Just hilarious. What I be doing, I be fixing mess. And we got my girl Taylor in here today. Say hey to Taylor, y' all. Taylor, say hey to the peoples. Yeah, all right, so listen, I'm gonna just jump right in and read the story. This one is really, really good. Obviously it's not a voice note. And she did say something about it not being a voice note too. She was like, my man listens to carefully reckless on I heart. And he listens to you fix people mess on Breakfast Club. So she didn't want to leave me a voice note. So here it goes. Hey, Jess, I need you bad child. So one of my. One of my childhood friends was my very first boyfriend in life. Aw, that's cute. He was the big time drug dealer in our city. We're from St. Louis. Oh, Lord, I've loved him from a child to an adult. We've been together on and off for about 15 years. By the grace of God. I never got pregnant by him, but we always talked about having kids together and him making me a wife. Not by the grace of God. Hey, yo. During the time of our relationship, he was back and forth to prison, involved in shootouts, all the things that would make a girl want out. Hmm. In all the years we were together, I had to deal with that and more house raids and long, sleepless nights. House raids? Oh, yeah, fuck all that.

[Taylor]

What's house raids?

[Michael Kasson]

When somebody ra. Okay, so, Taylor, when somebody raids your house, they're looking for a fucking drug dealer.

[Taylor]

I thought you said house raids.

[Michael Kasson]

Oh, no, no, no, no, no. House raids. He never cheated, as far as I know. But being the girlfriend of a drug dealer became very old and tired for me as I got older. He never cheated, as far as I know. But being the girlfriend of a drug dealer became very old and tired for me as I got older. So I gave him an ultimatum. Me or that life. He just couldn't let it go right then. He said he had a goal, and as soon as he hits it, he's gonna come marry me and we can start building our life together. Now, this was about three years the last time we spoke on this. He went to jail for a year after that and been home for about two years now. During that year, I met a gentleman. And he was literally everything I was missing. He was everything I wanted in my on again, off again ex. We were so compatible in the early months of us dating. Just this man showed me real love in a passionate way. I swear, he is my person. A few months ago, my ex pops up out of nowhere at my job. Now I work at the bank. I thought he was coming to rob it. What the fuck? The fuck? Lol. Just kidding, bitch. You can't be fucking. Just kidding. Like this. The fuck? He was telling me he needed to take me out and that he needed to talk and update me on his life.

[Taylor]

Came to her job to do that.

[Michael Kasson]

Came to her job because I. Yeah, she came to her job. Maybe she didn't say that. Yes, she said I did get to meet with him, and he briefly ran down all of his life changes to me. He joined a church. He is actually. Oh, my God. He's actually owner of a business. He started his own tech company, and he has a trucking company. Okay. Ghost. He turned legit. This was the one that was in jail. But.

[Taylor]

So was she just not in contact with him?

[Michael Kasson]

Probably not, because she had already met another dude. That's the crazy thing.

[Taylor]

Okay.

[Michael Kasson]

Yeah. So he had told her about, you know, updated. All right, let me see.

[Taylor]

Did it say how long she was in contact with him, though? Because he did a lot.

[Michael Kasson]

He did a lot in that look. Yeah. Well, he was on for two years, and this was a few months ago. He came. He probably was trying to get his shit together before he came back because she had gave him that last ultimatum, like, look, me or this. And he was like, yo, I can't lead the game yet. I gotta go. I'm trying to earn a certain amount. You know how drug dealers talk. I know. It's so. Well, because I was dealing with a lot of them back in my day, you know, so, period. He came home, now he's reformed and shit, and he's basically like ghosts. James ain't Patrick. He was trying to be legit. Trying to be legit and everything. And she said, wow. Crazy thing is, I felt so good talking to him. All the memories flushed. I was back in love. Only thing is, my current guy proposed to me. No. Proposed to me weeks. Weeks before that girl. And I said yes. Crazy.

[Taylor]

I mean, you can always break it all. They didn't get married yet, but I know.

[Michael Kasson]

So she basically asked, and what should I do, Jazz? I find myself in bed laying next to my fiance, thinking about my ex, because he is everything I wanted this life with. However, I went on ahead and got engaged, not expecting him to ever change or grow up. And he did.

[Taylor]

Well, first, I need her to see the receipts of what the drug dealer's talking about, not just what he's saying. And then, I don't know.

[Michael Kasson]

I guess just don't jump out there and just, like, go, you know, just because he came to you. And although he been out for two years, so he probably did take all this time to get, like, you know, but he's not doing the things he used to do.

[Taylor]

This nigga got businesses, stuff like that.

[Michael Kasson]

Tech company, girl.

[Taylor]

I mean, tech company's good. But I'm saying, like, only reason why I'm, like, hesitant with that is just because sometimes I feel like things will happen how it's supposed to happen.

[Michael Kasson]

Yeah.

[Taylor]

And.

[Michael Kasson]

And everything that glitters is not gold.

[Taylor]

Yeah. But also just, like, if y' all supposed to be together, y' all. Y' all would have been.

[Michael Kasson]

Y' all would have been together, right?

[Taylor]

Yeah. Like, and I guess you had to wait and all that, but to go back.

[Michael Kasson]

Yeah. I don't know. And then on and off for 15 years.

[Taylor]

Yeah.

[Katherine Townsend]

Jesus.

[Michael Kasson]

You let him. You gave him 15 years of your life, and he gave 15 years of his life to the streets.

[Taylor]

Right?

[Michael Kasson]

That's a long time before you grow up and shit. Now, other guys take longer to grow up, but damn, nigga, now I'm supposed to drop everything I'm doing because you are home now and you decided to get it right in your life. But that's what tells me when he told her that, when she gave him the ultimatum the first time, and she was like, yo, me or this? And he was like, no, not right now. I can't choose you right now because I have a goal to get to. I'm not gonna be in this shit forever. But I am. Like, I'm good. Like, I'm. I'm. I got a goal, and I'm gonna be out of this shit. I just gotta do some things right now. When I wonder if she agreed, then, like, did she say. Did she just leave and say, all right, well, since you're not choosing me, whatever. Have a nice life, whatever?

[Taylor]

Yeah.

[Michael Kasson]

Or did she agree in that moment, all right, I'll wait for you? Because if so, that's why the fuck he came back and just expecting for her to be right there. You know what I mean? Hold up, hold up. I know this shit getting good, but listen to just a couple seconds of a commercial. If you love me, you'll listen.

[Andrea Gunning]

I'm Andrea Gunning, host of the podcast Betrayal Police. Lt. Joel Kern used his badge to fool everyone, most of all, his wife, Caroline.

[Katherine Townsend]

He texted, I've ruined our lives. You're going to want to divorce me.

[Andrea Gunning]

Caroline's husband was living another life behind the scenes. He betrayed his oath to his family and to his community.

[Michael Kasson]

She said you left bruises, pulled her hair, that type of thing. No.

[Andrea Gunning]

How far would Joel go to cover up what he'd done?

[Michael Kasson]

You're unable to keep track of all your lies. And quite frankly, I question how many other women may bring forward allegations in the future.

[Andrea Gunning]

This season of Betrayal investigates one officer's decades of deception. Lies that left those closest to him questioning everything they thought they knew. Listen to betrayal on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Katherine Townsend]

Over the past six years of making my true crime podcast Hell and Gone, I've learned one thing. No town is too small for murder. I'm Katherine Townsend. I've received hundreds of messages from people across the country begging for help with unsolved murders.

[Taylor]

I was calling about the murder of my husband.

[Michael Kasson]

It's a cold case. They've never found her, and it haunts.

[Taylor]

Me to this day.

[Katherine Townsend]

The murder is still out there. Every week on Hell and Gone Murder Line, I dig into a new case, bringing the skills I've learned as a journalist and private investigator to ask the questions no one else is asking.

[Michael Kasson]

Police really didn't care to even try. She was still somebody's mother. She was still somebody's daughter. She was still somebody's sister. There's so many questions that we've never gotten any kind of answers for.

[Katherine Townsend]

If you have a case you'd like me to look into, call the Helen Gone murder line at 678-744-6145. Listen to Helen Gone Murderline on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Amy Robach and TJ Holmes here, Diddy's former protege, television personality, platinum selling artist Danity K. Aubrey o' Day joins us to provide a unique perspective on the trial that has captivated the attention of the nation.

[Aubrey O'Day]

Aubrey o' Day is sitting next to us. Here you are. As we sit here, right up the street from where the trial is taking place, some people saw that you were going to be in New York and they immediately started jumping to conclusions. So can you clear that up? First of all, are you here to testify in the Diddy trial? Aubrey will offer her opinions and expertise based on her firsthand knowledge from her days on making the band as she emerged as the breakout star. The truth of the situation would be opposite of the glitz and glamour.

[Andrea Gunning]

It wasn't all bad, but I don't know that any of the good was real. I went through things there.

[Katherine Townsend]

Listen to Amy and TJ presents Aubrey O' Day covering the Diddy trial on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Unknown]

I know a lot of cops and they get asked all the time, have you ever had to shoot your gun? Sometimes the answer is yes. But there's a company dedicated to a future where the answer will always be no.

[Michael Kasson]

Across the country, cops called this Taser the revolution.

[Unknown]

But not everyone was convinced it was that simple.

[Michael Kasson]

Cops believed everything that Taser told them.

[Unknown]

From Lava for good and the team that brought you Bone Valley comes a story about what happened when a multi billion dollar company dedicated itself to one visionary mission. This is Absolute Season one, Taser Incorporated.

[Katherine Townsend]

I get right back there and it's bad.

[Michael Kasson]

It's really, really, really bad.

[Unknown]

Listen to new episodes of Absolute Season 1, Taser Incorporated on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Binge episodes 1, 2 and 3 on May 21 and episodes 4, 5 and 6 on June 4 ad free at Lava for Good plus on Apple Podcasts.

[Michael Kasson]

Now. Like you said, I wonder if she was keeping in touch with him that whole year he was in jail or how long was he out before you knew he was out? And how did y' all have a conversation? How long before the bank, when he shopped, when he popped up at your job, did you see him? It was the last time you seen him before you saw him in the bank was the time you gave him that ultimatum. Was that three years prior or what the fuck was that? I don't know. I think honestly, because she didn't give us that part of it. I think she honestly didn't talk to him purposely because she was trying to get past him and that's how she ended up meeting her person. Yeah, I know. That's the thing.

[Taylor]

It could be.

[Michael Kasson]

And I'm a fucking probably good too.

[Taylor]

But I guess it's one of those things too. Like take away. Like, are you all got butterflies now?

[Michael Kasson]

Yeah.

[Taylor]

When she gets real. I don't know.

[Michael Kasson]

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Taylor]

I don't know. And what's with this new. This fiance? Is he everything that you wanted? Yes, she did drop listen for him.

[Michael Kasson]

Listen, I'm a. I'm a reread it. She said during that year that he was in jail, I met a gentleman and he was literally everything I was missing. He was everything I wanted. And my on again, off again ex, we were so compatible in the early months of us dating. Just this man showed me real love. So then I swear he is my person.

[Taylor]

So then I don't think there's nothing to say.

[Michael Kasson]

And that nigga proposed. He knew what he had.

[Taylor]

Exactly. So I don't think like you about to give Your. I don't think she should do that.

[Michael Kasson]

All this moving on that you did, like all this healing. But when she ever healed, if she sat down with ex conviction one time and all the feelings came back and you land in bed next to your.

[Taylor]

Fiance, that was her person. The ex con was ever her person.

[Michael Kasson]

Well, in the beginning she said so. One of my childhood friends was my very first boyfriend in life. It was a big. He was a big time drug dealer in our city. So yeah, I've loved him from a child to an adult. We've been together on and off for 15 years. No. And then that. By the grace of God, I never got pregnant by him. That tells you something. That's screaming like, don't. I've always had one leg in, one leg out.

[Taylor]

I don't think she should do it.

[Michael Kasson]

Yeah. Because she don't want that shit to follow her.

[Taylor]

I think you're still holding on to maybe a cute little fantasy, but like.

[Michael Kasson]

You know, and then you feel a bit of like obligation because y' all are childhood friends.

[Taylor]

Exactly.

[Michael Kasson]

You know.

[Taylor]

Yeah.

[Michael Kasson]

You've known him since he was younger. Y' all kind of grew up together. He's known you. He knows what to say to get back in your good graces. That about you probably didn't change. That's how all of the butterflies started rushing back and all the feelings started swaying in, you know, coming in and colliding on you. And now you feel like you're in love with your ex all over again. Laying next to your person at night thinking about this. I don't even think it's so much she thinking about this. I think she's thinking about what she's going to do and it's stressing her the out what she wants to do.

[Taylor]

Yeah. And then also just.

[Michael Kasson]

That's a hard decision.

[Taylor]

I don't think she should drop everything.

[Michael Kasson]

And then what about this scenario? Right? So look, this is also a thing as well, right. Because I've seen it time and time again. Growing up in Baltimore City, being good friends with drug dealers. Not even drug dealers that I used to deal with, but being good friends with drug dealers. My. They'll get into beefs and she said shootouts and all that type of shit. This is the thing. They'll get into beefs and will. I was. I was building up to that. Taylor. Damn. I was ready to set it up perfectly. I was taking too long. You say, yeah. What if the pants come back? Damn. And the listeners knew where I was going. Oh. Anyway, so yeah, I'm still gonna say. I' ma still just say it. So. Girl, I've seen in my life where the past comes back to haunch. It does. Because, yo, if he's gotten in shootouts, obviously he's the one that's been doing the shooting. And because he ain't get killed or shot. She didn't say he got shot. You know, maybe got. He's been shot at. What if somebody wa until later and then this y' all out together and this nigga get shot up and killed? Or what if you get killed, right? Being with him, you know, you said he was a big time drug dealer in St. Louis. I mean, I'm sorry, Missouri, but goddamn, we know certain cities and drugs, that shit is different. It gets deep.

[Taylor]

And then just watch the show Power.

[Michael Kasson]

I'm sorry for. I mean, for what? Like, what is for reference? Like. Oh, oh, absolutely. Or watch the wire. Fuck Power.

[Taylor]

Okay. Yeah.

[Michael Kasson]

Watch the. Yeah. Or what?

[Taylor]

Even snowfall. Yeah, like, I'm just. I mean, I'm not saying, but I'm just saying.

[Michael Kasson]

No, that's more realistic. Snowfall is way more realistic than Power. I ain't. Girl, Ghost and Tommy should have been died the first episode because the way they was doing, right?

[Taylor]

But even think about like he's saying he got in tech company and not to like say, yeah, but I just feel like his.

[Michael Kasson]

He could. His roots is in the streets. He could still be in the streets. That shit could be under to wash his money. Like he's just trying to wash his money with legit businesses and shit, you know, he could still have. Now he may not be the one that's on the streets, the industries distributing anymore, but he could be the plug. He could be. He still got his hands in it some type of way. And I'm not saying. We're not saying he does, but that could still be the case. Like you said. So like Taylor said, so. See receipts. You know what I'm saying? Don't just jump out the fucking window or not. Not even delve. Don't even dive into that. You know, like you said, just, just. No, just steer clear of that life. That's. That's what you. You. You say it. You made it very clear in your passage that you read to me like during the time of our relationship, he was back and forth to prison, involved in shootouts, all the things that would make a girl want out. You've been wanted out. You just felt some type of devotion to him because he's also your childhood friend. You said in all the years we were Together, I had to deal with that. And more house raids, long, sleepless nights. And you said he never cheated, as far as you know, which is fine. But that's not even the tip of that shit. That. That's everything. That's watching your back. That's you being even affiliated with a nigga who got a target on him every day. You know what I'm saying? You don't want to marry nobody or throw your life away for somebody and got to still watch his back because he's done so much dirt in his earlier life, you know? I mean, earlier in his life, you know, you just. That shit is dangerous, you know? You don't wanna be one of those girls. You really, really don't. You know? And you seem like you got a really, really good thing going, and I would. I would honestly hate.

[Taylor]

Stop holding onto the what if.

[Michael Kasson]

Yeah, to the what if. Yup. From. From a long time ago. Yo, the way you speak about your fiance is amazing. It's, like, immaculate. Like, you can't even see yourself without this man, you know? And you met him at a perfect time, right after you gave a God ultimatum and you kind of cut it off with him. He went to jail, so he couldn't even. He wasn't even out to disrupt your relationship or whatever. You met him at a great time. You leave that chapter where the fuck it was at. Now we got a commercial. And if you click off of this podcast, I swear I'mma beat your ass.

[Andrea Gunning]

Listen, I'm Andrea Gunning, host of the podcast Betrayal. Police Lieutenant Joel Kern used his badge to fool everyone, most of all, his wife, Caroline.

[Katherine Townsend]

He texted, I've ruined our lives. You're going to want to divorce me.

[Andrea Gunning]

Caroline's husband was living another life behind the scenes. He betrayed his oath to his family and to his community.

[Michael Kasson]

She said you left bruises, pulled her hair, that type of thing. No.

[Andrea Gunning]

How far would Joel go to cover up what he'd done?

[Michael Kasson]

You're unable to keep track of all your lies, and quite frankly, I question how many other women may bring forward allegations in the future.

[Andrea Gunning]

This season of Betrayal investigates one officer's decades of deception. Lies that left those closest to him questioning everything they thought they knew. Listen to betrayal on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Katherine Townsend]

Over the past six years of making my true crime podcast Hell and Gone, I've learned one thing. No town is too small for murder. I'm Katherine Townsend. I've received hundreds of messages from people across the country begging for help with unsolved murders.

[Taylor]

I was calling about the murder of my husband.

[Michael Kasson]

It's a cold case. They've never found her.

[Taylor]

And it haunts me to this day.

[Katherine Townsend]

The murderer is still out there. Every week on Helen Gone Murder Line, I dig into a new case, bringing the skills I've learned as a journalist and private investigator to ask the questions no one else is asking.

[Michael Kasson]

Police really didn't care to even try. She was still somebody's mother. She was still somebody's daughter. She was still somebody's sister. There's so many questions that we've never gotten any kind of answers for.

[Katherine Townsend]

If you have a case you'd like me to look into, call the Helen Gone murder line at 678-744-6145. Listen to Helen Gone Murderline on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Amy Robach and TJ Holmes Here, Diddy's former protege, television personality, platinum selling artist Danity King alum Aubrey o' Day joins us to provide a unique perspective on the trial that has captivated the attention of the nation.

[Aubrey O'Day]

Aubrey o' Day is sitting next to us. Here you are. As we sit here right up the street from where the trial is taking place. Some people saw that you were going to be in New York and they immediately started jumping to conclusions. So can you clear that up? First of all, are you here to testify in the Diddy trial? Aubrey will offer her opinions and expertise based on her firsthand knowledge from her days on making the ban as she emerged as the breakout star. The truth of the situation would be opposite of the glitz and glamour.

[Andrea Gunning]

It wasn't all bad, but I don't know that any of the good was real. I went through things there.

[Katherine Townsend]

Listen to Amy and TJ presents Aubrey O' Day covering the Diddy trial on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Unknown]

I know a lot of cops and they get asked all the time, have you ever had to shoot your gun? Sometimes the answer is yes. But there's a company dedicated to a future where the answer will always be no.

[Michael Kasson]

Across the country, cops called this Taser the revolution.

[Unknown]

But not everyone was convinced it was that simple.

[Michael Kasson]

Cops believed everything that Taser told them.

[Unknown]

From Lava for good. And the team that brought you Bone Valley comes a story about what happened when a multi billion dollar company dedicated itself to one visionary mission. This is Absolut Season 1, Taser Incorporated.

[Taylor]

I get right back there and it's bad.

[Michael Kasson]

It's really, really, really Bad.

[Unknown]

Listen to new episodes of Absolute Season 1 Taser Incorporated on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Binge episodes 1, 2 and 3 on May 21 and episodes 4, 5 and 6 on June 4. Ad free at Lava for Good. Plus on Apple Podcasts.

[Michael Kasson]

You have to meet up with this nigga again. And you gotta tell him. Cause one thing about drug dealers or ex drug dealers or whatever they used to getting what they want.

[Taylor]

Yeah.

[Michael Kasson]

And he gonna start acting out, you know what I'm saying? Like, he's not going to stop trying to prove to you that he is ready to be with you now. You know what I'm saying? Even if he did turn, you know, turn great or do a whole 360 with his life, you feel me? It's still just. I think things happen. Like Taylor was saying, things happen for a reason. You know, it was a reason why you were supposed to meet your new guy. You know what I mean? I'm gonna just call your new guy Malachi and I'm gonna call your ex, Kanan. It was the reason why you met Malachi and you let Kanan slide up in the bank. You said you thought he was about to rob it, bitch. And you talking about lol. No, bitch. You was dead serious. You got scared of shit. You probably felt like Frankie and set it off. The fuck. Cause what's the procedure when a gun is to your head? Exactly. Your ass got scared of talking about butterflies. Yeah, right. You were scared at first. And then when you.

[Taylor]

But even with that though.

[Michael Kasson]

Yeah.

[Taylor]

You're coming to my. My like workplace. Just like, I don't like them. That seems very. It is aggressive.

[Michael Kasson]

It is. It's very possessive too. Like she always mine, she gonna be mine type shit. And most of the time those mindsets don't. Don't get very far either. It results in something bad because if I can't have you, nobody will them. It's guys that really, really live by.

[Taylor]

That shit for sure.

[Michael Kasson]

You know what I'm saying? And that I be watching snapped and IDTV and all of that. That be going down, man. And women be scared for their lives. These men are these. These men especially these obsessive and possessive men, you know, almost like that. Yeah. So you dealt with somebody like that. Almost? Yeah.

[Taylor]

The only way they said almost is because he was saying like, just like I don't care if you're. He thought I was like married or something like that.

[Michael Kasson]

And he said he didn't care.

[Taylor]

I don't care. If you're married, like, we. Me and you have, like, over. Over the dog.

[Michael Kasson]

Possessive. Oh, my God. Y' all had a dog. So I had a child. Yeah.

[Taylor]

It was my child, so. Or he's my child, so.

[Michael Kasson]

Okay, so who bought the child?

[Taylor]

I don't know how he got the dog, but I'm sorry. He gave it to me, though. Like.

[Michael Kasson]

Oh, okay. So it sounds like a father. He sounds like the father. I don't know where he got the dog from. So he got the dog for you.

[Taylor]

I was the least single mom out here.

[Michael Kasson]

Oh, okay. So when he got the dog, I was taking. It was like, he dropped you off and he was a deadbeat.

[Taylor]

We weren't even together.

[Michael Kasson]

Oh, okay. And so he. But were you single around this time? Did he know you were single? Yes. All right. So that's what it was. He just didn't want you to be with somebody else. He wanted you to be single.

[Taylor]

I knew I was dating, like, it was. But he just felt. I guess there's always an attachment.

[Michael Kasson]

Yes. That's how it is.

[Taylor]

It's dumb because I didn't. It was nothing. And then lead him to me. The only type of lead on was when I went away. Okay. You could watch a dog.

[Michael Kasson]

That's it.

[Taylor]

There's no, like, romantic nothing. So it was weird.

[Michael Kasson]

Damn. But I know when people do get pets together, that does put a different expectation on the relationship because people will be like, nah, this is like our practice child. Yeah, but kind of, sort of. I remember I had a goldfish with a nigga who thought I was a bitch. I was like, first of all, not a goldfish girl. Yes. The fish was called Samson. Like, why the. And then why would you name a fish Dick? So I already was turned off anyway, I'm not ever gonna be with you.

[Taylor]

Change the name of the dog anyway.

[Michael Kasson]

Oh, so it was named something else. Yes. Yeah.

[Taylor]

Like, I told my.

[Michael Kasson]

I really didn't want nothing to do with him. Okay.

[Taylor]

Like, we were broken up. The only reason why we say friends because of him. Because he didn't really. Didn't do nothing wrong. I just.

[Michael Kasson]

Right, right. It is what it is. Right?

[Taylor]

But like, he was.

[Michael Kasson]

But so look, the. A breakup bed. No, it wasn't a break.

[Katherine Townsend]

It wasn't a bad breakup.

[Michael Kasson]

So he thought that it was still.

[Taylor]

I just remember him when I did break up with him, like, I. And I told him on the phone, I remember him calling me back and was like, I know you don't think that I'm about to let you go this Easily. And I was like, yeah, sir, you.

[Michael Kasson]

Will like you will have to because this is done. But damn. Now let me ask you, because he probably thought it was still like some reconciled, like they. He probably thought it was still able to be reconciled.

[Taylor]

And I told him like we're better.

[Michael Kasson]

Off as cause there wasn't a bad breakup.

[Taylor]

Because what happened was if to be honest, I felt like in a sense he love bombed me into the relationship. Oh yeah. So. And it was just nice.

[Michael Kasson]

See I. I let somebody do that to me too. And I knew I really didn't want to take it that far. It was just like a rebound situation. I was like, I'll be honest, I was loved bombed by my ex, by Wayne, I got loved bombed by Wayne, you know what I mean? And it was what I needed at the time. Cause I had never been shown that before, you know what I'm saying? Like, oh, this, oh, it is possible for somebody to spoil you. It is possible for this type of love. And he's emotionally intelligent and he, you know. So what Wayne did was just show me that there is love out there like that.

[Katherine Townsend]

Right.

[Michael Kasson]

You know, I was just so used to toxicity drug dealers and n who using me and shit like that, you know what I'm saying? And then he came along, showed me that that was different. And then I think what me and Wayne didn't do was become friends first.

[Taylor]

Right? And. Exactly.

[Michael Kasson]

Because if I would have just became his friends, we would have never been together. We would have just been friends. Cause Wayne is a really good person, you know.

[Taylor]

That's what I feel like too.

[Michael Kasson]

Yeah, he just love bombed me and I was like, I felt obligated to just. Oh shit, well I'm gonna just be with him then, you know, but it's like, no. And then that was, you know, what, six fucking years ago or whatever, you know. So I don't know. I didn't know now then what I know now, you know. So. Yeah. But I am grateful.

[Taylor]

I don't regret it though for like four years. Like you still. What are you holding on to, sir?

[Michael Kasson]

Yeah, that's crazy. And CL and some trash like he from Philly.

[Taylor]

No.

[Michael Kasson]

Oh, who?

[Taylor]

He's from New York and from New York.

[Michael Kasson]

Oh, they are possessive. Let me ask you this real quick before we get out of here, cuz we passed 20 years. They are possessive. Yes. They are the New Yorkers. Yes. But is he like Caribbean, Jamaican or something like that? Because all of that gives location.

[Taylor]

I think he had roots in some island, but okay, it's not like, he.

[Michael Kasson]

Like, okay, okay, I got you.

[Taylor]

But he had a lot of. He says he's a good guy, I guess. Yeah. But he just.

[Michael Kasson]

Yeah, he had issues. It was a lot of issues. Nah, I feel you. Well, I think we gave this. This woman a great sense of direction as it pertains to advice. I think she should. She ultimately gonna do what she wanna do. Obviously, she's still in love with her ex. Or she thinks she is.

[Taylor]

Yeah.

[Michael Kasson]

I think her feelings are mixed. I think what she's feeling is not an obligation to the guy. I think, like, she don't. I mean, I don't think what she's feeling is love all over again. I think she's just probably scared and she's frantic. She don't know what to do. She's stressed out. She's like, ah, should I go back? Or. And I think that's because you gave that nigga her word.

[Taylor]

Yes. To the proposal. Like, yup.

[Michael Kasson]

You wasn't thinking about him. She wasn't thinking about him. Cause she wasn't in contact with him. Yeah, I think she do need to move on, though. Stay moved on, please.

[Taylor]

Girl, fuck that, then.

[Michael Kasson]

You don't know what the fuck your fiance done went through neither. You know what I'm saying? You don't know what he went through and how he ended up with you. He probably felt like you were the one, just like you felt like he was the one. You know, he probably had somebody do this shit to him before. And here you go, about to do it again. Jesus, girl. So his son did, too. So keep me updated and write me back, baby girl. All right. All right, we. And just like that, we come to the end of yet another Carefully Reckless podcast episode with your girl Jess. Hilarious. Y' all say thank you to Taylor. Cause Taylor showed up and showed out today. Personal experiences and everything. All right. Until I say thank y' all.

[Taylor]

Thank y' all. Why am I saying thank you, though?

[Michael Kasson]

I don't know. Don't worry about it. I don't even know. Thank you for listening. I don't know. Because they love you too, girl. They write me and shit. They love you too. All right, cool. So we love y' all. We'll talk to you all next week. Peace.

[Taylor]

Sam.

[Michael Kasson]

Carefully Reckless is a production of iHeartRadio and the Black Effect. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. I'm Michael Kassin, founder and CEO of 3C Ventures, and your guide on Good Company, the podcast where I sit down with the boldest innovators shaping what's next. In this episode, I'm joined by Angeli Su, CEO of Tubi. We dive into the competitive world of streaming.

[Katherine Townsend]

What others dismiss as niche, we embrace as core. There's so many stories out there and if you can find a way to curate and help the right person discover the right content. The term that we always hear from our audience is that they feel seen.

[Michael Kasson]

Listen to Good company on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Katherine Townsend]

Over the years of making my true crime podcast Hell and Gone, I've learned no town is too small for murder. I'm Katherine Townsend. I've heard from hundreds of people across the country with an unsolved murder in their community.

[Taylor]

I was calling about the murder of my husband.

[Michael Kasson]

The murder is still out there.

[Katherine Townsend]

Each week I investigate a new case. If there is a case we should Hear about, call 678-744-6145. Listen to Helen Gone Murderline on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcast.

[Michael Kasson]

Here's the deal. We gotta set ourselves up. See, retirement is the long game we gotta make and make them early. Set up goals. Don't worry about a setback. Just save up and stack up to reach them. Let's put ourselves in the right position pregame to greater things. Start building your retirement [e-mail] brought to you by AARP and the Ad Council. If you've ever wondered what diseases, medieval.

[Katherine Townsend]

P tests and cocktails have in common, you're in the right place. On our show, this Podcast Will Kill youl, we explore the wild world of diseases, their history, biology and impact. Today, vaccines are, in part, a victim of their own success. They have been so effective in preventing disease and death that we take them for granted. New episodes drop every Tuesday on the Exactly Right network. Listen to this podcast will Kill you on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Michael Kasson]

This is an iHeart podcast.