DONKEY: Man Calls Cops Seeking Items Left In Car He Stole

Summary

The Breakfast Club: "Donkey of the Day – Man Calls Cops Seeking Items Left In Car He Stole"

Date: December 15, 2025
Hosts: DJ Envy, Jess Hilarious, Charlamagne tha God
Theme: Charlamagne tha God delivers the infamous "Donkey of the Day" to a Delaware man who steals a car—then bizarrely calls the police to retrieve belongings he left inside.

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Episode Overview

In this episode of The Breakfast Club, Charlamagne tha God brings a humorous yet sharp "Donkey of the Day" segment. The team zeroes in on the story of Kion Baxter, a 21-year-old from Delaware, arrested for vehicle theft after he reported his own crime to police while trying to recover items left in a car he’d stolen. The hosts unpack the absurdity of the situation, question the criminal’s logic, and discuss broader themes around decision-making and social awareness in the modern age.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Introduction to the "Donkey of the Day" Recipient

[02:56–05:09]

• Charlamagne announces Donkey of the Day goes to Kion Baxter for stealing a Hyundai Sonata and later contacting police to recover items he left in the stolen car.
• Emphasizes the absurdity of how people are so detached from reality that they treat serious crimes like minor inconveniences or customer service complaints.
• Connects the story to a wider cultural observation: the internet, social media, and AI have confused boundaries between reality and fiction for some people.
  • Quote:

    “I have a theory that because of the Internet, social media, AI, people have no idea what's real and what's not anymore.”
    — Charlamagne tha God [03:34]

2. The Crime and Its Aftermath

[04:00–05:28]

• Step-by-step recount of the events: Kion steals a running Sonata, gets the vehicle towed, and then calls the police to ask for his belongings.
• Charlamagne’s comic take on the criminal’s logic, likening treating police like a “lost and found at the bowling alley.”
• Noting the lack of self-awareness on the part of the perpetrator.
  • Quote:

    “He called the police and told them the car had been towed and he wanted to retrieve some items he left inside the vehicle. This man treated the police like the lost and found at the bowling alley.”
    — Charlamagne tha God [04:50]

3. Reflecting on Criminal Decision-Making

[05:10–06:58]

• Charlamagne questions the critical thinking of young men getting caught up in crime and opines on lost potential in other professions (“plumbers, HVAC specialists, electricians, welders”).
• Ponders if this was stupidity or a total lack of understanding the consequences.
• Points out some people might not even realize what they did was illegal, underlining a generational disconnect.
  • Quote:

    “Some people are actually too dumb to even be criminals, okay? Kion is a person who is too dumb to even be a criminal. By the way, I take that back. I don't know if Kion is dumb. I just think Kion didn't think what he was doing was a crime.”
    — Charlamagne tha God [05:52]

  • Memorable punchline:

    “Young man, this is not Amazon Prime, okay? You don't get same day recovery on stolen vehicles.”
    — Charlamagne tha God [05:10]

4. Moral Takeaway

[06:40–07:01]

• Charlamagne closes with the episode’s moral: sometimes the lessons we learn from our mistakes cost more than whatever we lost or tried to get back.
  • Quote:

    “Sometimes the lesson costs more than the loss.”
    — Charlamagne tha God [06:56]

5. "Guess What Race It Is" and Co-Host Banter

[07:04–08:32]

• Co-hosts suggest their classic “Guess What Race It Is” game for Kion, but Charlamagne quickly backs out, making jokes about the dynamics of the group and their own backgrounds.
• Spirited jokes about racial ambiguity and childhood behavior based on Kion’s mugshot, with playful ribbing among the hosts.
  • Quote:

    “Damn, he bird. He look like he mixed with pitbull. ... He was biting people in class when he was six.”
    — Charlamagne tha God [08:15]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “I can't make this kind of stuff up, people.” [04:48]
  — Charlamagne tha God, reacting to the bizarre nature of the story.
• “You can't call the police to report a crime that you committed just because you already moved on emotionally from it, okay?” [06:31]
  — Charlamagne tha God, on the obliviousness of the perpetrator.
• Co-host camaraderie:
  Playful teasing about each other’s reactions and backgrounds, lending the conversation a signature Breakfast Club humor and realness.

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Donkey of the Day Introduction: [02:56]
• Details of the Crime: [03:30–05:09]
• Charlamagne’s Commentary and Takeaways: [05:10–06:58]
• Co-host Banter & “Guess What Race It Is” Game: [07:04–08:32]

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Tone and Style

The segment is delivered with The Breakfast Club’s hallmark blend of satire, social commentary, and quick wit. Charlamagne uses exaggerated humor to underscore the absurdity of the story, while the co-hosts’ banter keeps the mood lively and relatable. The language is casual, peppered with cultural references and comedic asides, aimed squarely at a morning audience eager for both laughter and food for thought.

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Final Takeaway

Charlamagne wraps up by reinforcing the episode's moral: foolish crimes can cost significantly more than what the criminal ever hoped to gain—and sometimes, the best lesson is learned the hard way.

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Summary prepared by Podcast Summarizer AI—listen to The Breakfast Club for the full story and laughs!

Transcript

[Podcast Host]

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[Co-host 1]

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[Co-host 2]

All.

[Co-host 1]

As always, it's classic HBCU energy. Nonstop action. The band is rocking and the crowd lit. Chants echoing, drums beating, everybody showing that school pride. Moments like this, yeah, they call for an ice cold Coca Cola. Crisp and refreshing. That's a game changer right there. Mm, yeah, that taste always hit the right note. Just like the band at halftime. Passionate fans, school colors everywhere and a nice ice cold Coca Cola. That's a winning combo. No matter the place, no matter the moment, everybody knows fan work is thirsty work. So grab a Coca Cola and keep that HBCU pride going.

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[Charlamagne tha God]

IBM.

[Co-host 2]

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This is where mindset comes in.

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[Charlamagne tha God]

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[Charlamagne tha God]

I just wanted to know how you came up with the donkey of the date.

[Podcast Host]

Because you're mean.

[Charlamagne tha God]

I am not. What did I do? I made a donkey of the day. There's a bunch of donkeys out here in the street. That is why Charlamagne is here. If we live a life where we bite our tongue based off who we may have seen, we never would say anything. On the Breakfast Club. In the words of Charlemagne, the God, he's a donkey. Oh, man, Charlemagne. You giving donkey today? To who now? Well, Busta Rhymes donkey today for Monday, December 15th, goes to 21 year old Cayenne Baxter. I believe Lauren LaRosa knows this young man, okay? He's from Delaware and he was charged with vehicle theft after police say he confessed to stealing a Hyundai Sonata that was left running. Now, listen, cars get stolen every day, B. But what I am always intrigued by is when people commit crimes and move like the crime they just committed wasn't a crime, okay? I'm telling you, I don't know what it is about this era. I have a theory that because of the Internet, social media, AI, people have no idea what's real and what's not anymore, okay? Fantasy looks like reality, fiction looks like facts. So I have a theory. When you see people committing crimes and moving like those crimes are just everyday tasks that people have on their to do list, it's because they really don't know any better. Okay? See, Kayan saw this Hyundai Sonata sitting outside. He saw it was left running and he thought it was his. Okay? Couldn't possibly be stealing if the car is running. Cayenne probably thought it was a sign from the heavens, okay? He probably thought he manifested it so he stole it. Well, he was caught, ladies and gentlemen, okay? Would you like to know how he was caught? He got caught because he was moving like the stolen vehicle was actually his. See, the car got told, and guess what Cayenne did. Kion. Kion called the police, okay, the report that the vehicle had been towed and he wanted to retrieve some items that he left inside the car. I can't make this kind of stuff up, people. He called the police and told them the car had been towed and he wanted to retrieve some items he left inside the vehicle. This man treated the police like the lost and found at the bowling alley, okay? He ended up getting arrested on the same street where the Hyundai was stolen.

[Co-host 1]

He.

[Charlamagne tha God]

He returned to the scene of the crime after calling the police to tell them he needed to retrieve some items from the vehicle he stole the day before. Young man, this is not Amazon prime, okay? You don't get same Day recovery on stolen vehicles. And this is why we have to encourage these young men to learn a trade, okay? We are losing potential plumbers, H vac specialists, electricians, welders to the streets, okay? And the reality is, sometimes smart people do dumb things, okay, that lead them to have criminal records. But some people are actually too dumb to even be criminals, okay? Kion is a person who is too dumb to even be a criminal. By the way, I take that back. I don't know if Kion is dumb. I just think Kion didn't think what he was doing was a crime. In his mind, what he did was perfectly normal. I stole a car, didn't kill anyone. No drugs involved, no guns. Just a little stolen car that got towed. No big deal. Cops will let me retrieve my items out of it. You can't call the police to report a crime that you committed just because you already moved on emotionally from it, okay? Do y' all not understand how ridiculous this story is? He stole a car, then he got the car towed, and instead of just charging it to the game, he said, let me escalate this to customer service, okay? Kion, I have to know what you left in the car. Okay? That isn't in any of the news reports I've read, but I need to know what you left in this car that would make you call the police. Was it money? Was it jewelry? Probably not, because if you had valuable things, you wouldn't be doing things like stealing cars. What's the moral of the story here? Sometimes the lesson costs more than the loss. Please give Kion Baxter the biggest he. Huh? That's crazy. That's not like a Baltimore story, to.

[Co-host 3]

Be honest with you.

[Charlamagne tha God]

Delaware. Delaware is close enough. They right there.

[Co-host 3]

Damn. You want to play a game?

[Charlamagne tha God]

Nope.

[Co-host 3]

The chat wants to play a game.

[Charlamagne tha God]

I know the chat wants to play a game. Okay?

[Co-host 3]

The chat wants to play a game.

[Charlamagne tha God]

All right, Chad, if y' all want to play, we can play a game of guess what race it is. All right? Cayenne Baxter, 21 years old in Delaware. I don't want to play no more. Sorry. I don't play no more. I don't even like the way you said that, but sorry, I don't want to play. No, I was excited. Exactly. I don't play no more. You know what I'm saying? You know, just what you think. It don't even matter.

[Co-host 3]

Okay.

[Charlamagne tha God]

All right? Because, see, the thing about working with biracials, whenever that other side jump out the way, it just jumped out just now. I don't want to play with him no more. See, we'd be like, yeah, he started real hard.

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[Charlamagne tha God]

Yeah, we let it. We let, I guess whatever little bit of black in him participate, but then this, that others.

[Co-host 1]

Like you said it from the depths of your throat.

[Co-host 2]

Yeah.

[Charlamagne tha God]

You sound like a Dominican in Washington Heights reporting the crime. I ain't like I didn't like that.

[Co-host 1]

I'm black.

[Charlamagne tha God]

I'm. I'm full black, sir. I didn't like that.

[Co-host 3]

All right.

[Charlamagne tha God]

I did not like that at all.

[Co-host 3]

Is he black?

[Charlamagne tha God]

It don't even matter no more. All right, okay.

[Co-host 3]

Thank you for that donkey of the day.

[Charlamagne tha God]

But it's in case you must know. Yes. Damn, he bird. He look like he mixed with pitbull. Okay. This man, he 21. I knew he. He was biting people in class when he was six. I'm telling you. You see him?

[IBM Advertiser]

Jesus.

[Charlamagne tha God]

No, I was there.

[Co-host 3]

Oh, gosh.

[Charlamagne tha God]

All right.

[Co-host 3]

Well, thank you for that donkey of the day.

[Charlamagne tha God]

I'm gonna send you a picture of him, Jeff.

[Co-host 3]

Now, when we come back, he's running for governor of South Carolina. Jermaine Johnson. He'll be joining us in a second, so don't go anywhere. It's the breakfast club. Good morning.

[Charlamagne tha God]

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[Charlamagne tha God]

This is where mindset comes in.

[Trainer Games Announcer]

Someone will be eliminated.

[Co-host 2]

Pressure is coming down.

[Charlamagne tha God]

Trainer games on Prime Video January 8th. Watch the trailer on Trainer Games 20.

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[Podcast Host]

This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.