The Breakfast Club: "Donkey of the Day – Man Calls Cops Seeking Items Left In Car He Stole"

Date: December 15, 2025
Hosts: DJ Envy, Jess Hilarious, Charlamagne tha God
Theme: Charlamagne tha God delivers the infamous "Donkey of the Day" to a Delaware man who steals a car—then bizarrely calls the police to retrieve belongings he left inside.

Episode Overview

In this episode of The Breakfast Club, Charlamagne tha God brings a humorous yet sharp "Donkey of the Day" segment. The team zeroes in on the story of Kion Baxter, a 21-year-old from Delaware, arrested for vehicle theft after he reported his own crime to police while trying to recover items left in a car he’d stolen. The hosts unpack the absurdity of the situation, question the criminal’s logic, and discuss broader themes around decision-making and social awareness in the modern age.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Introduction to the "Donkey of the Day" Recipient

[02:56–05:09]

• Charlamagne announces Donkey of the Day goes to Kion Baxter for stealing a Hyundai Sonata and later contacting police to recover items he left in the stolen car.
• Emphasizes the absurdity of how people are so detached from reality that they treat serious crimes like minor inconveniences or customer service complaints.
• Connects the story to a wider cultural observation: the internet, social media, and AI have confused boundaries between reality and fiction for some people.
  • Quote:

    “I have a theory that because of the Internet, social media, AI, people have no idea what's real and what's not anymore.”
    — Charlamagne tha God [03:34]

2. The Crime and Its Aftermath

[04:00–05:28]

• Step-by-step recount of the events: Kion steals a running Sonata, gets the vehicle towed, and then calls the police to ask for his belongings.
• Charlamagne’s comic take on the criminal’s logic, likening treating police like a “lost and found at the bowling alley.”
• Noting the lack of self-awareness on the part of the perpetrator.
  • Quote:

    “He called the police and told them the car had been towed and he wanted to retrieve some items he left inside the vehicle. This man treated the police like the lost and found at the bowling alley.”
    — Charlamagne tha God [04:50]

3. Reflecting on Criminal Decision-Making

[05:10–06:58]

• Charlamagne questions the critical thinking of young men getting caught up in crime and opines on lost potential in other professions (“plumbers, HVAC specialists, electricians, welders”).
• Ponders if this was stupidity or a total lack of understanding the consequences.
• Points out some people might not even realize what they did was illegal, underlining a generational disconnect.
  • Quote:

    “Some people are actually too dumb to even be criminals, okay? Kion is a person who is too dumb to even be a criminal. By the way, I take that back. I don't know if Kion is dumb. I just think Kion didn't think what he was doing was a crime.”
    — Charlamagne tha God [05:52]

  • Memorable punchline:

    “Young man, this is not Amazon Prime, okay? You don't get same day recovery on stolen vehicles.”
    — Charlamagne tha God [05:10]

4. Moral Takeaway

[06:40–07:01]

• Charlamagne closes with the episode’s moral: sometimes the lessons we learn from our mistakes cost more than whatever we lost or tried to get back.
  • Quote:

    “Sometimes the lesson costs more than the loss.”
    — Charlamagne tha God [06:56]

5. "Guess What Race It Is" and Co-Host Banter

[07:04–08:32]

• Co-hosts suggest their classic “Guess What Race It Is” game for Kion, but Charlamagne quickly backs out, making jokes about the dynamics of the group and their own backgrounds.
• Spirited jokes about racial ambiguity and childhood behavior based on Kion’s mugshot, with playful ribbing among the hosts.
  • Quote:

    “Damn, he bird. He look like he mixed with pitbull. ... He was biting people in class when he was six.”
    — Charlamagne tha God [08:15]

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “I can't make this kind of stuff up, people.” [04:48]
  — Charlamagne tha God, reacting to the bizarre nature of the story.
• “You can't call the police to report a crime that you committed just because you already moved on emotionally from it, okay?” [06:31]
  — Charlamagne tha God, on the obliviousness of the perpetrator.
• Co-host camaraderie:
  Playful teasing about each other’s reactions and backgrounds, lending the conversation a signature Breakfast Club humor and realness.

Timestamps for Important Segments

• Donkey of the Day Introduction: [02:56]
• Details of the Crime: [03:30–05:09]
• Charlamagne’s Commentary and Takeaways: [05:10–06:58]
• Co-host Banter & “Guess What Race It Is” Game: [07:04–08:32]

Tone and Style

The segment is delivered with The Breakfast Club’s hallmark blend of satire, social commentary, and quick wit. Charlamagne uses exaggerated humor to underscore the absurdity of the story, while the co-hosts’ banter keeps the mood lively and relatable. The language is casual, peppered with cultural references and comedic asides, aimed squarely at a morning audience eager for both laughter and food for thought.

Final Takeaway

Charlamagne wraps up by reinforcing the episode's moral: foolish crimes can cost significantly more than what the criminal ever hoped to gain—and sometimes, the best lesson is learned the hard way.

Summary prepared by Podcast Summarizer AI—listen to The Breakfast Club for the full story and laughs!