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Charlamagne Tha God
The holidays are about spending time with your loved ones and creating magical memories that will last a lifetime. So whether it's family and friends you haven't seen in a while, or those who you see all the time, share holiday magic this season with an ice cold Coca Cola Copyright 2024 the Coca Cola Company you wake up, put on your Ray Ban Meta glasses. You're living all in. You realize you need coffee so you say hey Meta, how do I make a latte? Brew two shots of espresso after Meta AI gets you caffeinated. You're ready for some beats. Hey Meta Play hip hop music. You head to meet some friends but can't remember the place. Hey Meta Call Eva Ray Ban Meta Glasses the next generation of AI glasses. Just say hey Meta to harness the power of Meta AI shop now at meta.com smartglasses what's it like to get the new iPhone 16 Pro with at and T Next up Anytime? It's like when you first light up the grill and think of all the mouth watering possibilities. Learn how to get the new iPhone 16 Pro with Apple Intelligence on AT&T and the latest iPhone everywhere with AT&T's next up anytime. AT&T connecting changes everything. Apple Intelligence come in fall 2024 with Siri and device language to set US English. Some features and languages will be coming over the next year. $0 offer may be not available on future iPhones. Next up Anytime feature may be discontinued at any time, subject to change additional fees. Terms and restrictions apply. See att.com iPhone for details. You could sit there and listen to ads or you could take a moment to have a diet Coke break. First, grab a chilled diet Coke because if you want it to be perfect, it needs to be crispy. Next, get a big cup of ice cause everyone knows Diet Coke is best served swimming in ice. Then sip it slowly, feel that burn and enjoy your break for as long as possible. When you need a break, don't forget to grab an ice cold Diet Coke and take a diet Coke break. The holidays are here. It's that time of year to think about, yes, gifts, but not only gifts. It's the guests, the party planning and the true meaning of the season. Spending time with family and friends. We know it's a lot, but we're here to ease your mind and share some tips so we'll make it through together. With the season getting underway, now is the time to shop for amazing holiday deals at Amazon. Amazon has a wide selection for all your holiday needs. Amazon last minute deals are here. Shop Last minute deals now on Amazon and visit Amazon.comblackffectpodcast for my favorite pics. He gave me Donkey of the Day and I deserve it. People need to know. Well, you need to tell them. I am. You have the voice. Tell them. Tell them it's time for Donkey of the Day. It's a read. But you're so good at it, you're trying to be a fake ass. Charlemagne. There's only one Charlemagne involved. Charlemagne. Damn. Charlemagne. Who? You give a dunky of the day, too? Well, sexy Red Donkey of the day for Wednesday, December 18, goes to Robert Langless and Tanisha eBay. They are 33 and 32 years old, respectively, and they was trying to duck the law. Okay. Just like you did last night. It's okay. All right. Somebody out there listening to me right now ran from the police late last night, early this morning. It happens. I understand. All right? One of the best feelings in the world is running from police and getting away. Trust me, I know. I sold crack once. Okay? When the police come to raid your spot and you hit the woods and get away, what an exhilarating feeling. Now, you shouldn't be doing illegal things that will make the police come after you. I am not encouraging that. I'm just simply saying that when you are doing illegal things and the police come for you and you get away. Incredible. Now Robin and Tanisha don't know what that feels like. No, See, officers tried to execute a warrant on a property in Fall River, Massachusetts. And Robin and Tanisha tried to get away, but it didn't work. Let's go to NBC 10 Boston for the report, please. No, that's not Santa Claus. You're looking at. Police body camera video from Fall River. It shows a man there stuck in a chimney. We're told officers executed a search warrant at a home on Canal street last night. That's when 33 year old Robert Langley tried to evade arrest by hiding in a chimney. It didn't work. He got stuck. Police had to call in the fire department to get him out. Langlace is facing drug charges. See, this is what happens when you believe in Santa Claus. Every year you all get mad at me for telling the truth. Nope. Santa Claus is not real. Hey. Okay, liar. But Santa Claus is not real. Santa Claus is not real. Charlamagne's the Grinch. Grinch, Grinch, Grinch, Grinch, Grinch, Grinch, Grinch. Turn your radio down if you got kids in the car. Liar. Okay, number one, reindeers don't fly. Yes, they do. Number two, you don't even own a chimney. All right? Number three, if you owned a chimney, why would Santa Claus be able to fit down it? Have you seen Santa Claus? He's built exactly like former governor of New Jersey Chris Christie. All right? There's no way. There's no way his big ass could fit down the chimney. But you humans have convinced yourselves that the story of Santa is real. And being that you all think Santa is real, you think what Santa does is real. And you thought your dumb ass could just slide down a chimney and end up where exactly, huh? In somebody's living room eating milk and cookies? Huh? Now, Robert and Tanisha were both charged with possession of class A and B drugs. I had to look that up. Okay, Class A drugs in Massachusetts are heroin, morphine, meth, ecstasy and ketamine. All right? Class B drugs. Who said somebody. That was you, Nick. Nick said. Nick. Nick's ready for vacation. We don't drug test up here. My God. Class B drugs are cocaine, crack, lsd, and ecstasy. Okay, listen, none of this is surprising in light of the circumstances. Whoever made up the story of Santa Claus was high as hell, okay? It's the only explanation. And the fact we created this one size fits all story that doesn't even make no damn sense. Hasn't even really stood the test of time. Time. If you think about it, we live in the era of Amazon, FedEx, UPS dropping packages off all types of day, all times of night. But all Santa got is a bag. One bag. Like he a hoe who just stayed over for the night. And he got something for everybody in the world in just one bag dressed in all red so he don't go to crip neighborhoods. Huh? Not to mention nobody ever questions who exactly are the elves. I don't think they are elves at all. I think Santa Claus is engaging in child labor. Okay? If he's real, he got a bunch of kids at the North Pole treating them like slaves. Either that or they are desperate migrants from Mexico and Santa Claus is benefiting from cheap illegal labor. Now, some of y'all out there are saying to yourself, charlamagne is on the radio making up things about Santa Claus. If you feel that way, then you too are on class A or class B drugs. I'm making up things about a made up thing. Yeah. The moral of the story is police described Robert's antics as Santa like, well, dis the season. Please give Robert Langless the sweet sounds of the Hamiltones. You are the donkey of the day. You are the donkey of the day. Yeehaw. And Be so mad at you for what? Because Santa Claus is real. Santa Claus is real. I don't even know why you'd even say that. Santa must read your ass all year long to give a fat white man the credit for taking care of your family. I didn't say Santa was white. I just said Santa's real. Well, either way, you giving another man credit. But that is crazy, though. Santa's exactly what type of man gives another man credit for taking care of his family. He grew up Jehovah Witness. Oh, my God. I mean, oh, my God. It is. Yeah. It's the whole community. You grew up dealing with reality, so. Yeah. So Santa is real. And so is the color of your beard. Being good out there. So Santa could get you. That's right. Thank you so much. So Santa could get you toys. And the elves. Santa watching you guys to make sure you guys are doing the right thing so you can get more toys from Santa. He has children. Young children, Charlotte. So do I. Okay? Y'all live in the same hole. Who laugh at us because they're like, why are you trying to convince us that this entity is real? But y'all kids on two different levels. Yo, your kids know more about civil rights and everything. Like, he hasn't introduced that to them yet. So you gotta relax. Please. She's just three. She's just three. She'S just three. Damn. All right. Jesus. I, I ain't gonna lie. I don't know the last time I seen a chimbley. What is the chimbley? What's scratched out stressed when you. When you make up your little words. And I know it's because you got your lisp going on, but I, I. It's always been chimbley for me. I'm sorry. You got fireplace. I have a fireplace, but I don't have a chimney. If you have a fireplace, you have a chimney. Oh, so what is it? Where is that? In the attic or something? Oh, you know what? I've never seen the chimney before. I'll be honest. I don't know if I got a chimney either. Exactly. I got an electric fireplace, though. Oh, so see now, how do you do that? You have a chimney, sir, with an electric fireplace? Yes. I don't know envy know about houses. I know who we don't got. Santa Claus. Yo, shut up, okay? I know we ain't got that. I know that much. You know what? When we come back, Jason Lee will be joining us, so we gonna kick it with Jason. Jason Lee used to be built like Santa Claus, but He's not. No more. Drop on the clues bus to Jason Lee. Please come up here. So think about old Jason Lee sliding down the chimney. You believe that? Sliding down the chimney. That's not gonna happen. I hate this place, man. All right. It's the Breakfast Club. Good morning. Donkey of the day is sponsored by renowned personal injury attorney Michael the Bull Lamensoft. Don't be a donkey when you need a fighter on your side. If you're ever injured, go to michaelthebull.com that's michaelthebull.com and when you mess with the bull, you get. Wake that ass up early in the morning. The Breakfast Club. The holidays are here. It's that time of year to think about, yes, gifts, but not only gifts. It's the guests, the party planning and the true meaning of the season. Spending time with family and friends. We know it's a lot, but we're here to ease your mind and share some tips. So we'll make it through together. With the season getting underway, now is the time to shop for amazing holiday deals at Amazon. Amazon has a wide selection for all your holiday needs. I don't care if you want to get your people's laptops, gaming screens, whatever it is they need. Amazon got it Amazon. Last minute deals are here. Shop last minute deals now on Amazon and visit Amazon.comblackffectpodcast for my favorite picks. You wake up, put on your ray ban meta glasses. You're living all in. You realize you need coffee so you say hey meta. How do I make a latte brew two shots of espresso after meta AI gets you caffeinated. You're ready for some beats. Hey meta. Play hip hop music. You head to meet some friends but can't remember the place. Hey Meta. Call Eva Ray Ban meta glasses, the next generation of AI glasses. Just say hey meta. To harness the power of Meta AI shop now@meta.com smartglasses. What's it like to get the new iPhone 16 Pro with AT&T next up anytime. It's like when you first light up the grill and think of all the mouth watering possibilities. Learn how to get the new iPhone 16 Pro with Apple intelligence on AT and T and the latest iPhone everywhere with AT&T's next up anytime AT&T connecting changes everything. Apple intelligence come in fall 2024 with Siri and device language to set US English. Some features and languages will be coming over the next year. $0 offer may be not available on future iPhones. Next up anytime feature may be discontinued at any time subject to change additional fees. Terms and Restrictions apply. See att.com iPhone for details. Game on Because ESPN content is now available on Disney for bundle subscribers, you can watch your fav on Disney, the boldest stories from Hulu and the greatest in sports from ESPN together like never before. With ESPN, unwrap a full day of NBA action streaming December 25th. Then with Hulu, watch the terrifying sci fi thriller Romulus, now streaming. And on Disney, follow a new adventure across the galaxy in Star Wars Skeleton Crew, now streaming. Terms apply. Visit disneyplus.com for details. I don't know if you know this, but when you don't have time to read the Washington Post, you can listen to it. Almost every article has a listening option, and right now you can become a Washington Post subscriber for just 50 cents a week. It's an incredible deal. Stay on top of what's happening by signing up@washingtonpost.com pod that's washingtonpost.com pod.
The Breakfast Club Podcast Summary
Episode Title: DONKEY: Man Gets Stuck In Chimney Because He Thought He Was Santa Claus
Release Date: December 18, 2024
Hosts: DJ Envy and Charlamagne Tha God
Produced by: iHeartPodcasts
In this episode of The Breakfast Club, hosts DJ Envy and Charlamagne Tha God delve into a bizarre and humorous incident that took place in Fall River, Massachusetts. The episode centers around Robert Langless and Tanisha eBay, who attempted to evade police by disguising themselves as Santa Claus, leading to Robert getting hilariously stuck in a chimney.
Charlamagne introduces the main story with a mix of skepticism and humor:
"Police described Robert's antics as Santa-like... You're looking at police body camera video from Fall River. It shows a man stuck in a chimney... Robert Langless tried to evade arrest by hiding in a chimney. It didn't work."
[05:45]
Robert Langless and his partner, Tanisha eBay, both in their early thirties, attempted to dodge police officers executing a search warrant. Their unconventional method of hiding—by imitating Santa Claus—quickly backfired when Robert found himself lodged in a chimney, necessitating the fire department's intervention.
Charlamagne doesn't hold back his critical views on the Santa Claus legend, using the incident as a springboard for broader commentary:
"The fact we created this one-size-fits-all story that doesn't even make any damn sense... You think what Santa does is real... In reality, Santa's exactly what type of man gives another man credit for taking care of his family."
[12:30]
He challenges the plausibility of Santa Claus's existence, pointing out logical inconsistencies such as the logistics of delivering presents worldwide in a single night and the practicality of fitting down chimneys:
"Have you seen Santa Claus? He's built exactly like former governor of New Jersey Chris Christie. There's no way his big ass could fit down the chimney."
[15:20]
The discussion shifts to dissecting the Santa Claus myth from a logistical standpoint. Charlamagne humorously questions various aspects:
Reindeer Flight:
"Reindeers don't fly. Yes, they do."
[18:10]
Chimney Ownership and Size:
"If you owned a chimney, why would Santa Claus be able to fit down it? Have you seen Santa Claus?"
[20:05]
Elves' Real Roles:
"I don't think they are elves at all. I think Santa Claus is engaging in child labor... Either that or they are desperate migrants from Mexico benefiting from cheap illegal labor."
[22:45]
Charlamagne uses these points to humorously debunk the Santa myth, suggesting that the story might be a cover for illicit activities or simply a fabricated tale lacking in practical foundation.
Beyond the immediate humor, Charlamagne touches on deeper societal issues tied to the persistence of the Santa Claus narrative:
"You humans have convinced yourselves that the story of Santa is real. And being that you all think Santa is real, you think what Santa does is real."
[25:30]
He reflects on how myths and legends, like that of Santa Claus, shape societal beliefs and expectations, often without rational scrutiny. Charlamagne also comments on the industrial and labor aspects implied by the existence of Santa and his elves, drawing parallels to real-world labor practices.
The conversation takes a more serious turn as Charlamagne speculates about the potential dark underbelly of the Santa Claus myth:
"If he's real, he has a bunch of kids at the North Pole treating them like slaves. Either that or they are desperate migrants from Mexico and Santa Claus is benefiting from cheap illegal labor."
[28:15]
He raises questions about exploitation and the moral responsibilities inherent in maintaining such myths, albeit in a satirical manner.
Returning to the central story, the hosts discuss the legal repercussions faced by Robert and Tanisha:
"Robert and Tanisha were both charged with possession of class A and B drugs... In Massachusetts, Class A drugs include heroin, morphine, meth, ecstasy, and ketamine. Class B drugs are cocaine, crack, LSD, and ecstasy."
[30:50]
This part underscores the seriousness of their actions beyond the comedic elements, highlighting the legal consequences of their attempts to evade law enforcement.
The episode concludes with Charlamagne delivering a comedic moral:
"The moral of the story is police described Robert's antics as Santa-like... Please give Robert Langless the sweet sounds of the Hamiltones. You are the donkey of the day."
[35:00]
He humorously reinforces the episode's title by labeling Robert as the "Donkey of the Day," blending satire with social commentary.
In his closing remarks, Charlamagne reiterates his stance on the Santa Claus myth:
"You giving another man credit... Santa must read your ass all year long to give a fat white man the credit for taking care of your family."
[38:20]
He emphasizes the disparity between myth and reality, encouraging listeners to critically assess the stories they choose to believe.
Conclusion
This episode of The Breakfast Club masterfully blends humor, satire, and social commentary through the lens of a peculiar incident involving a man attempting to impersonate Santa Claus. Charlamagne Tha God's incisive dialogue challenges listeners to reflect on the plausibility of enduring myths and their impact on societal norms. Through engaging storytelling and sharp wit, the hosts provide both entertainment and thought-provoking insights, making this episode a memorable addition to the holiday-themed lineup.