DONKEY: Michael Jackson Steals Truck Then Asks Stranger For Gas

Summary

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The Breakfast Club – “Donkey of the Day: Michael Jackson Steals Truck Then Asks Stranger For Gas”

Date: October 21, 2025
Hosts: Charlamagne Tha God, DJ Envy, Jess Hilarious
Podcast: The Breakfast Club (iHeartPodcasts)

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Episode Overview

This uproarious “Donkey of the Day” segment centers around a bizarre crime headline: a man named Michael Jackson (not the King of Pop) in Southeast Kansas stole a pickup truck, then boldly approached a stranger’s house to ask for gas—adding, “don’t call the cops.” Charlamagne Tha God launches into a comedic and satirical breakdown, weaving in references to Michael Jackson’s music and offering unsolicited tips for would-be criminals. The crew has a field day riffing on the situation, wrapping up with the segment’s customary send-off.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Donkey of the Day – The Crime Itself (02:30 – onwards)

• Who was involved:
  • A Southeast Kansas man named Michael Jackson (explicitly clarified as not the pop star).
• What happened:
  • Jackson stole a 2003 Chevrolet Silverado.
  • After running low on gas, he pulled into a stranger’s residence asking for fuel and requested, “do not call the cops.”
• Law enforcement clarification:
  • The Crawford County Sheriff's Office wanted to clear confusion right away, stating, “not the one who sang Billie Jean” [03:00].

2. Charlamagne’s Breakdown and Comedic Analysis

• Golden Rule for Listeners:
  • “Whenever someone tells you to not call the cops about something, call the cops about that something, okay? That’s just a pretty good rule of thumb to follow.” — Charlamagne Tha God [03:30].
• Mocking the lack of forethought:
  • Charlamagne pokes fun at the criminal’s poor planning:
    • “Why the hell would you steal a car that may or may not have enough gas in it, okay? What if you need to do a quick getaway? What if the cops are chasing you and you on E?” [03:50]
    • “You supposed to be a smooth criminal, okay? Not to mention, why would you stop at some random stranger’s house for gas? Where was Exxon? Where was Wawa? Where was Spinx? Where was Shell?” [04:20]
• Michael Jackson Song References:
  • The hosts delight in riffing on MJ hits to mock the thief:
    • “The Michael Jackson I know said, ‘Don’t stop ’til you get enough.’ You had to stop because you needed gas. Y’all are not the same, okay?” — Charlamagne Tha God [04:30]
• Life Advice & 48 Laws of Power tie-in:
  • Citing Law 29: “Make detailed plans with a clear ending,” Charlamagne notes:
    • “This? Michael Jackson didn’t do that. And when you want to be starting something, you have to know how that starting going in. Because the only thing this Michael Jackson got started was a police report.” [05:00]

3. Social Commentary and Empathy

• Reflects on why people commit such “ridiculous” crimes:
  • “Times are hard out here. Housing is not affordable. 42 million people are at risk of losing their food stamps right now… If you don’t got nothing else going on in life, maybe jail is a viable option.” — Charlamagne [05:20]
  • “But I wish that I could have told Michael Jackson, you are not alone. Okay, you, you. You don’t have to do this, all right? There is a place for you in this society, but I can’t make you believe that. The change you seek starts with you. Yes, the man in the mirror. Michael, I’m asking you to change your petty criminal ways. If you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and then make a change.” [05:45]
• Memorable quote:
  • “If you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and then make a change. Change.” — Charlamagne Tha God [05:55]

4. Segment Wrap-up and Studio Banter

• Donkey of the Day ‘Hee Haw’:
  • “Please give this southeast Kansas man named Michael Jackson the biggest hee haw.” — Charlamagne [06:29]
• Co-host Banter:
  • DJ Envy jokes about always having empty gas tanks in his family’s cars.
  • The crew riffs on how criminals need to plan for gas when stealing cars:
    • “If you steal my car or my wife’s car, give yourself a little extra time to go to gas station. We ain’t never got no gas for some reason in the cars. Yo.” — Charlamagne [06:30–06:44]
• MJ Song Lyric Parody:
  • “Yes. Nigga, are you okay? Are you okay, nigga?” — Charlamagne riffing on “Smooth Criminal” lyrics [06:53]

5. Transition to Next Guest

• The hosts tease an upcoming segment with Jeremy Renner, star of “Mayor of Kingstown.”
  (07:10 – 07:23)

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Notable Quotes

• “Whenever someone tells you to not call the cops about something, call the cops about that something.” — Charlamagne Tha God [03:30]
• “You think you can just steal a truck, pull up to a random stranger’s house for gas, and then moonwalk out of the situation like that’s normal? Absolutely not.” — Charlamagne Tha God [03:45]
• “You supposed to be a smooth criminal, okay?” — Charlamagne Tha God [04:10]
• “This Michael Jackson didn’t do that. And when you want to be starting something, you have to know how that starting going in. Because the only thing this Michael Jackson got started was a police report.” — Charlamagne Tha God [05:00]
• “Michael, I’m asking you to change your petty criminal ways. If you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and then make a change.” — Charlamagne Tha God [05:45]
• “Yes. Nigga, are you okay? Are you okay, nigga?” — Charlamagne Tha God [06:53]

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Segment Timestamps

• 02:30 – Donkey of the Day segment begins
• 03:30 – Charlamagne’s “Golden Rule” about calling cops
• 03:50 – Insightful (and comedic) critique of poor planning
• 04:20 – Mockery via Michael Jackson song references
• 05:00 – 48 Laws of Power reference
• 05:20 – Commentary on hard times and criminal motivations
• 05:45–05:55 – “Man in the Mirror” & change speech
• 06:29 – Biggest hee haw award
• 06:30–06:44 – Hosts joke about running out of gas
• 06:53 – “Smooth Criminal” lyric parody
• 07:10 – Teaser for next segment with Jeremy Renner

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Takeaways

• The segment is quintessential “Donkey of the Day”: humor, cultural commentary, and scathing—but playful—critique of those who make questionable life choices in the public eye.
• Charlamagne masterfully mixes real-life advice (“plan ahead”) with comic relief and topical puns referencing Michael Jackson’s legacy.
• The crew’s chemistry is on full display, and the topic provides a canvas both for laughter and a brief, thoughtful reflection on the hardships that sometimes drive people to crime.

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For new listeners: This episode delivers the best of The Breakfast Club’s famed satirical and irreverent tone, blending pop culture with social commentary—anchored by Charlamagne’s signature “Donkey of the Day” roast.

Transcript

[iHeart Podcast Announcer]

This is an I Heart podcast.

[Mark Delicato]

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[Graves County Podcast Narrator]

The murder of an 18 year old girl in Graves County, Kentucky went unsolved for years until a local housewife, a journalist and a handful of girls came forward with a story.

[Breakfast Club - Charlamagne Tha God]

America, y' all better wake the hell up. Bad things happens to good people in small towns.

[Graves County Podcast Narrator]

Listen to Graves county on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts and to binge the entire season ad free. Subscribe to Lava for Good plus on Apple Podcasts.

[Ana Ortiz]

Sami Gente.

[Mark Delicato]

It's Ana Ortiz and I'm Mark and Delicato.

[Ana Ortiz]

You might know us as Hilda and Justin Ugly Betty. Welcome to our new podcast, Viva Betty.

[Mark Delicato]

Yay.

[Ana Ortiz]

We're rewatching the series from start to.

[Justin Baldoni]

Finish and talking to iconic guests like Betty herself, America Ferreira.

[Ana Ortiz]

There was this moment when the glasses went on and it was like, this is our Betty.

[Justin Baldoni]

Listen to Viva Betty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcast.

[iHeart Podcast Announcer]

Short on time, but big on true crime. On a recent episode of the podcast Hunting for Answers, I highlighted the story of 19 year old Lachey Dungey. But she never knocked on that door. She never made it inside. And that text message would be the last time anyone would ever hear from her. Listen to Hunting for Answers from the Black Effect Podcast Network on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

With the donkey.

[Angela Yee]

It's time for Donkey of the Day.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

A bunch of donkeys around here. Yes, you are a donkey. What the hell? What the hell is some donkey? Today's just sell himself Charlemagne.

[Breakfast Club - Charlamagne Tha God]

Give it to him Breakfast Club all day. Give it to him. Oh, man, Charlemagne, who you giving donkey today?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Well, donkey Today for Tuesday, October 21st goes to a southeast Kansas man named Michael Jackson, okay? And not the one who's saying Billie Jean. I need y' all to know that, okay? The Crawford County Sheriff's Office made that perfectly clear. They literally said verbatim, not the one who's saying Billie Jean. We are such an unserious People. Okay? Now let me tell y' all something, and I really want y' all to remember this. If you don't listen to another word that ever comes out of Uncle Charlotte's mouth, just please listen to this, okay? Whenever someone tells you to not call the cops about something, call the cops about that something, okay? That's just a pretty good rule of thumb to follow. See, what had happened was Michael Jackson stole a 2003 Chevrolet Silverado, and deputies received the call that a man had pulled into a residence and asked the homeowner for gas and to not call the cops. See, this man? Michael Jackson stole the car, didn't have no gas in the car, and then pulled into a random stranger's house asking for gas. Michael Jackson. You.

[iHeart Podcast Announcer]

You, you.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You don't know how any of this works, do you? Okay, you think you can just steal a truck, pull up to a random stranger's house for gas, and then moonwalk out of the situation like that's normal? Absolutely not. Okay, now let's discuss. All right. When stealing a car, make sure the car got gas in it, okay? Why the hell would you steal a car that may or may not have enough gas in it? Okay? What if you need to do a quick getaway? What if the cops are chasing you and you on E? Okay, Michael Jackson, you supposed to be a smooth criminal, okay? Not to mention, why would you stop at some random stranger's house for gas? Where was Exxon? Where was Wawa? Where was Spanx? Where was Shell? The Michael Jackson I know said, don't stop till you get enough. You had to stop because you needed gas. Y' all are not the same, okay? See, I love people who plan all the way to the end, all right? That's law 29 and the 48 laws of power. Make detailed plans with a clear ending. Think far ahead, take into account all possible developments. Plan all the way to the end. And don'. Be swayed by wishful thinking. Then pursue your plans and don't be tempted from your path. See this? Michael Jackson didn't do that. And when you want to be starting something, you have to know how that starting going in. Because the only thing this Michael Jackson got started was a police report, okay? I just don't understand people sometimes, man. Folks commit crimes so ridiculous that I think they do it on purpose. Okay? Times are hard out here. Housing is not affordable. 42 million people are at risk of losing their food stamps right now. Okay? There are some with no home, not in nickel to loan. Could it be really me pretending that they're not alone. If you don't got nothing else going on in life, maybe jail is a viable option. Okay? Some people don't have no family. Some people don't care about freedom like that. But I wish that I could have told Michael Jackson, you are not alone. Okay, you, you. You don't have to do this. All right? There is a place for you in this society, but I can't make you believe that. All right? The change you seek starts with you. Yes, the man in the mirror. Michael, I'm asking you to change your petty criminal ways. If you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and then make a change. Please give this southeast Kansas man named Michael Jackson the biggest he. Yo.

[Angela Yee]

No he ha. Just.

[Graves County Podcast Narrator]

That's it.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That's it. You get the biggest he.

[Angela Yee]

I just want to let anybody know that if you steal my car or my wife's car, give yourself a little extra time to go to gas station.

[Mark Delicato]

Like that's.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

We ain't never got no gas.

[Angela Yee]

For some reason in the cars.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yo.

[Mark Delicato]

He gave him a he. There we go.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That's what he's gonna say when they ask him what's his agenda during the intake process.

[iHeart Podcast Announcer]

Hehe.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yes.

[Mark Delicato]

Nigga, are you okay?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Are you okay, nigga?

[Mark Delicato]

That's so funny.

[Angela Yee]

All right, well, thank you for that. Donkey of the day, sir. Now, when we come back, Jeremy Renner will be joining us. You know Hawkeye, mayor of Kingston. Hawkeye, Season 4 of Mayor of Kingston will be out Sunday, this Sunday, October 26th. So we're gonna talk about.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

It was Kingstown.

[Angela Yee]

It's Kingston or Kingstown.

[Mark Delicato]

Kingstown.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That's what I say. You made a white man the mayor of Jamaican mayor of Kingstown.

[Angela Yee]

Kingstown.

[Mark Delicato]

Also known as Han from handsome and grabbing.

[Angela Yee]

All right, all right, all right, we'll talk to him next. It's the Breakfast Club. Good morning. The Breakfast Club.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Donkey today is sponsored by renowned personal injury attorney Michael the Bull. Lamb and soft. Don't be a donkey when you need a fighter on your side. If you're ever injured, go to Michael the Bull dot com. That's Michael the Bull dot com. And when you mess with the bull, you get.

[Graves County Podcast Narrator]

The murder of an 18 year old girl in Graves County, Kentucky. Went unsolved for years until a local housewife, a journalist and a handful of girls came forward with a story.

[Breakfast Club - Charlamagne Tha God]

America, y' all better wake the hell up. Bad things happens to good people in small towns.

[Graves County Podcast Narrator]

Listen to Graves county on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts and to binge the entire season ad free. Subscribe to Lava for Good plus on Apple Podcasts.

[Mark Delicato]

It'S Ana Ortiz and I'm Mark and Delicato.

[Ana Ortiz]

You might know us as Hilda and.

[Justin Baldoni]

Justin from Ugly Betty.

[Ana Ortiz]

Welcome to our new podcast, Viva Betty. We're rewatching the series from start to.

[Justin Baldoni]

Finish and talking to iconic guests like Betty herself, America Ferreira.

[Ana Ortiz]

There was this mom when the glasses went on and it was like, this is our Betty.

[Justin Baldoni]

Listen to Viva Betty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

[iHeart Podcast Announcer]

Short on time, but big on true crime. On a recent episode of the podcast Hunting for Answers, I highlighted the story of 19 year old Lachey Dungey. But she never knocked on that door. She never made it inside. And that text message would be the last time anyone would ever hear from her. Listen to Hunting for Answers from the Black Effect Podcast Network on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Sad Oligarch Podcast Narrator]

The Rich Russians Falling out of Windows podcast is back. Sad Oligarch Season 2 Since we left you in 2023 after season one, many politically motivated Russian millionaires have continued to die in suspicious circumstances. Season two gets very weird. Listen to Sad Oligarch on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

[iHeart Podcast Announcer]

This is an iHeart podcast.