The Breakfast Club – “Donkey of the Day: Michael Jackson Steals Truck Then Asks Stranger For Gas”

Date: October 21, 2025
Hosts: Charlamagne Tha God, DJ Envy, Jess Hilarious
Podcast: The Breakfast Club (iHeartPodcasts)

Episode Overview

This uproarious “Donkey of the Day” segment centers around a bizarre crime headline: a man named Michael Jackson (not the King of Pop) in Southeast Kansas stole a pickup truck, then boldly approached a stranger’s house to ask for gas—adding, “don’t call the cops.” Charlamagne Tha God launches into a comedic and satirical breakdown, weaving in references to Michael Jackson’s music and offering unsolicited tips for would-be criminals. The crew has a field day riffing on the situation, wrapping up with the segment’s customary send-off.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Donkey of the Day – The Crime Itself (02:30 – onwards)

• Who was involved:
  • A Southeast Kansas man named Michael Jackson (explicitly clarified as not the pop star).
• What happened:
  • Jackson stole a 2003 Chevrolet Silverado.
  • After running low on gas, he pulled into a stranger’s residence asking for fuel and requested, “do not call the cops.”
• Law enforcement clarification:
  • The Crawford County Sheriff's Office wanted to clear confusion right away, stating, “not the one who sang Billie Jean” [03:00].

2. Charlamagne’s Breakdown and Comedic Analysis

• Golden Rule for Listeners:
  • “Whenever someone tells you to not call the cops about something, call the cops about that something, okay? That’s just a pretty good rule of thumb to follow.” — Charlamagne Tha God [03:30].
• Mocking the lack of forethought:
  • Charlamagne pokes fun at the criminal’s poor planning:
    • “Why the hell would you steal a car that may or may not have enough gas in it, okay? What if you need to do a quick getaway? What if the cops are chasing you and you on E?” [03:50]
    • “You supposed to be a smooth criminal, okay? Not to mention, why would you stop at some random stranger’s house for gas? Where was Exxon? Where was Wawa? Where was Spinx? Where was Shell?” [04:20]
• Michael Jackson Song References:
  • The hosts delight in riffing on MJ hits to mock the thief:
    • “The Michael Jackson I know said, ‘Don’t stop ’til you get enough.’ You had to stop because you needed gas. Y’all are not the same, okay?” — Charlamagne Tha God [04:30]
• Life Advice & 48 Laws of Power tie-in:
  • Citing Law 29: “Make detailed plans with a clear ending,” Charlamagne notes:
    • “This? Michael Jackson didn’t do that. And when you want to be starting something, you have to know how that starting going in. Because the only thing this Michael Jackson got started was a police report.” [05:00]

3. Social Commentary and Empathy

• Reflects on why people commit such “ridiculous” crimes:
  • “Times are hard out here. Housing is not affordable. 42 million people are at risk of losing their food stamps right now… If you don’t got nothing else going on in life, maybe jail is a viable option.” — Charlamagne [05:20]
  • “But I wish that I could have told Michael Jackson, you are not alone. Okay, you, you. You don’t have to do this, all right? There is a place for you in this society, but I can’t make you believe that. The change you seek starts with you. Yes, the man in the mirror. Michael, I’m asking you to change your petty criminal ways. If you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and then make a change.” [05:45]
• Memorable quote:
  • “If you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and then make a change. Change.” — Charlamagne Tha God [05:55]

4. Segment Wrap-up and Studio Banter

• Donkey of the Day ‘Hee Haw’:
  • “Please give this southeast Kansas man named Michael Jackson the biggest hee haw.” — Charlamagne [06:29]
• Co-host Banter:
  • DJ Envy jokes about always having empty gas tanks in his family’s cars.
  • The crew riffs on how criminals need to plan for gas when stealing cars:
    • “If you steal my car or my wife’s car, give yourself a little extra time to go to gas station. We ain’t never got no gas for some reason in the cars. Yo.” — Charlamagne [06:30–06:44]
• MJ Song Lyric Parody:
  • “Yes. Nigga, are you okay? Are you okay, nigga?” — Charlamagne riffing on “Smooth Criminal” lyrics [06:53]

5. Transition to Next Guest

• The hosts tease an upcoming segment with Jeremy Renner, star of “Mayor of Kingstown.”
  (07:10 – 07:23)

Notable Quotes

• “Whenever someone tells you to not call the cops about something, call the cops about that something.” — Charlamagne Tha God [03:30]
• “You think you can just steal a truck, pull up to a random stranger’s house for gas, and then moonwalk out of the situation like that’s normal? Absolutely not.” — Charlamagne Tha God [03:45]
• “You supposed to be a smooth criminal, okay?” — Charlamagne Tha God [04:10]
• “This Michael Jackson didn’t do that. And when you want to be starting something, you have to know how that starting going in. Because the only thing this Michael Jackson got started was a police report.” — Charlamagne Tha God [05:00]
• “Michael, I’m asking you to change your petty criminal ways. If you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and then make a change.” — Charlamagne Tha God [05:45]
• “Yes. Nigga, are you okay? Are you okay, nigga?” — Charlamagne Tha God [06:53]

Segment Timestamps

• 02:30 – Donkey of the Day segment begins
• 03:30 – Charlamagne’s “Golden Rule” about calling cops
• 03:50 – Insightful (and comedic) critique of poor planning
• 04:20 – Mockery via Michael Jackson song references
• 05:00 – 48 Laws of Power reference
• 05:20 – Commentary on hard times and criminal motivations
• 05:45–05:55 – “Man in the Mirror” & change speech
• 06:29 – Biggest hee haw award
• 06:30–06:44 – Hosts joke about running out of gas
• 06:53 – “Smooth Criminal” lyric parody
• 07:10 – Teaser for next segment with Jeremy Renner

Takeaways

• The segment is quintessential “Donkey of the Day”: humor, cultural commentary, and scathing—but playful—critique of those who make questionable life choices in the public eye.
• Charlamagne masterfully mixes real-life advice (“plan ahead”) with comic relief and topical puns referencing Michael Jackson’s legacy.
• The crew’s chemistry is on full display, and the topic provides a canvas both for laughter and a brief, thoughtful reflection on the hardships that sometimes drive people to crime.

For new listeners: This episode delivers the best of The Breakfast Club’s famed satirical and irreverent tone, blending pop culture with social commentary—anchored by Charlamagne’s signature “Donkey of the Day” roast.