DONKEY: ‘Soon Bang’ Busted By Detective D. Large

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Breakfast Club Episode: DONKEY: ‘Soon Bang’ Busted By Detective D. Large
Release Date: February 27, 2025
Host/Author: iHeartPodcasts
Description: The World's Most Dangerous Morning Show, The Breakfast Club, With DJ Envy, Jess Hilarious, And Charlamagne Tha God!

---

Introduction

In this episode of The Breakfast Club, hosts DJ Envy, Charlamagne Tha God, and Jess Hilarious delve into a sensational case involving a 63-year-old woman named Soon Bang. The segment is a blend of investigative storytelling and the trio’s signature humor, offering listeners an engaging mix of real-world events and lighthearted banter.

---

Main Story: The Case of Soon Bang

DJ Envy kicks off the segment with an intriguing case study:

"Today for Thursday, February 27th goes to a 63-year-old woman named Soon Bang. And Soon Bang has been charged with operating a prostitution business from the New Jersey massage parlor she owns."
— DJ Envy [04:15]

Details of the Case:

• Business Operations: Soon Bang owns the Oasis Spa in Denville, New Jersey. Despite its appearance as a legitimate massage parlor, authorities uncovered illicit activities.

• Evidence Collected:

  • Condoms: A substantial quantity of condoms was found hidden within a mattress and in plant pots, indicating an attempt to conceal illegal operations.

  • Online Reviews: Numerous Yelp reviews explicitly mentioning sexual services, which inadvertently served as a "hidden menu" for the illicit activities.

  • Financial Irregularities: Large sums of cash were discovered in Soon Bang’s bedroom, further implicating her in the prostitution business.

"She admitted to engaging in sexual intercourse and providing hand jobs with clients in exchange for money."
— DJ Envy [04:45]

Investigation Insights:

The investigation, led by Detective D. Large, revealed that the blatant nature of online reviews made it virtually impossible for Soon Bang to operate undetected for long. The combination of physical evidence and digital footprints painted a clear picture of the operations within Oasis Spa.

"When you have actual online reviews about the handjobs that are happening in your establishment, you are just begging to get caught."
— DJ Envy [05:05]

---

Hosts' Reactions and Banter

Following the detailed narration, the hosts engage in a humorous discussion, reflecting on the case's absurdities and playing off each other's jokes.

Guessing Soon Bang’s Race:

DJ Envy initiates a playful guessing game about Soon Bang's racial background based on her name and the nature of her business.

"Now, I have seen no pictures. I'm basing this off all gut feelings, but if her name is Soon Bang and one of her employees is Yushan Lee, and Lee is spelled Li, I'm just going to assume that DJ Envy, you are absolutely correct and Soon Living is Asian."
— Jess Hilarious [05:39]

Notable Quotes:

• Jess Hilarious:

  "We can get a little kinky sometimes and do a name change. You know what I mean?"
  — Jess Hilarious [05:36]

• Angela Yee:

  "Me and the wife went and got, you know, massages, but I didn't get no happy ending or nobody even asked."
  — Angela Yee [07:28]

Humorous Puns and References:

The hosts utilize wordplay related to Soon Bang's name, further adding a comedic layer to the serious subject matter.

"She is Soon Bang, 63 years old, owns a massage parlor called Oasis Spa. When you went to Oasis Spa, they were also operating a prostitution business. Jess. Hilarious. Guess what? Racist."
— DJ Envy [05:40-05:54]

Angela Yee’s Experience:

Angela shares her personal experience with massage parlors, emphasizing that she never encountered any illicit activities, adding to the conversation's levity.

"I just looked it up. When you said Oasis Spot in Denville, I'm like, I think I've been there before."
— Angela Yee [07:21]

---

Conclusion and Wrap-Up

As the segment wraps up, DJ Envy humorously ties back to the initial story, poking fun at the implications of Soon Bang's name and business operations.

"Why did you do the Donald Trump double hand job dance? Why did you do. Okay, I'm just gonna assume she's Asian. Abcd Hand job free. Okay, Please give Suan Bang the biggest Hee Haw."
— DJ Envy [06:40]

The hosts conclude with a mix of humor and final remarks, maintaining their engaging dynamic throughout the discussion.

---

Key Takeaways

• Transparency’s Double-Edged Sword: The case underscores how digital footprints, like online reviews, can inadvertently expose illegal activities.

• Humor in Seriousness: The Breakfast Club successfully blends serious investigative topics with humor, making complex stories accessible and entertaining.

• Cultural Stereotypes: The hosts navigate cultural stereotypes with humor, prompting discussions on assumptions based on names and appearances.

---

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• DJ Envy [04:15]: "Today for Thursday, February 27th goes to a 63-year-old woman named Soon Bang..."

• Jess Hilarious [05:36]: "We can get a little kinky sometimes and do a name change."

• Angela Yee [07:28]: "Me and the wife went and got, you know, massages, but I didn't get no happy ending..."

• DJ Envy [06:40]: "Why did you do the Donald Trump double hand job dance?"

---

Final Thoughts

This episode of The Breakfast Club exemplifies the show's ability to tackle intriguing stories with a unique blend of humor and investigative insight. Through engaging dialogue and sharp wit, DJ Envy, Charlamagne Tha God, and Jess Hilarious offer listeners both entertainment and food for thought.

---

Listen to The Breakfast Club on iHeartRadio, Apple Podcasts, or your preferred podcast platform.

Transcript

[Maria Fernanda Diaz]

Hey y'all. I'm Maria Fernanda Diaz. When youn're Invisible is my love letter to the working class people and immigrants who shaped me. Season 2 shares stories about community and being underestimated.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

All the greatest changes have happened when a couple of people said, this sucks, let's do something about it.

[DJ Envy]

We get paid to serve you, but.

[Maria Fernanda Diaz]

We'Re made out of the same things.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

It's rare to have black male teachers.

[DJ Envy]

Sometimes I am the testament.

[Maria Fernanda Diaz]

Listen to when youn're Invisible on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Do you remember what you said the first night I came over here? Ow. Go slower. From Blumhouse TV, iHeart podcasts and Ember 20 comes an all new fictional comedy podcast series. Join the flighty Damien Hirst as he unravels the mystery of his vanished boyfriend. I've been spending all my time looking for answers about what happened to Santi and what's the way to find a missing person? Sleep with everyone he knew, obviously. Listen to the hookup on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.

[Arturo Castro]

Hi, I'm Arturo Castro and I've been lucky enough to do stuff like Broad City and Narcos and Roadhouse. And now I'm starting a podcast because honestly guys, I don't feel the space is crowded enough. Get ready for Greatest Escapes, a new comedy podcast about the wildest true escape stories in history. Each week I'll be sitting down with some of the most hilarious actors and writers and comedians. People like Ed Helms, Diane Guerrero, and Joseph Gordon Levitt.

[DJ Envy]

I love storytelling and I love you. So I can't wait.

[Arturo Castro]

Listen and subscribe to Greatest escapes on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get podcasts.

[Gabe Leonards]

What would you do if mysterious drones appeared over your hometown? I started asking questions. What do you remember happening on that night of December 16th? It actually rotated around our house, looking as if it was peering in each window of our home. I'm Gabe Leonards from Imagine I Heart Podcasts and Leonard's Entertainment. Listen to Obscura. Invasion of the Drones wherever you get your favorite podcast. Ass.

[Angela Yee]

That's pretty funny.

[DJ Envy]

Charlemagne. The Devil?

[Gabe Leonards]

Possibly the Breakfast Club.

[DJ Envy]

Yes, Donkey. Today for Thursday, February 27th goes to a 63 year old woman named Soon Bang. And Soon Bang has been charged with operating a prostitution business from the New Jersey massage parlor she owns. Yes, her name is Soon Bang and she owns the Oasis Spa in Denville, New Jersey. And with a name Like Soon Bang, her career choice was just destiny. Okay, if you walk into a massage parlor and the owner is Soon Bang, then you already know they got a hidden menu. And according to police reports and a stem to stem interview with Soon Bang, she admitted to engaging in sexual intercourse and providing hand jobs with clients in exchange for money. Okay, I know what you're thinking, and what you're thinking is, damn it, why do I never end up at these massage parlors? Okay? They don't do this in Massage Envy. Oh, that's not what you're thinking. Oh, okay, me neither, by the way, I was just trying to connect with whoever feels that way. But Soon Bang operates the Oasis Spa in Denville, New Jersey. And before I continue, I need you to know that the detective on this case was Detective D. Large. I'm not making any of this story up, nor am I mature enough to have this conversation, but here we are. Now, the reason police searched this massage parlor was for a number of reasons, and none of them had anything to do with her name. Soon Bang. First of all, when authorities raided Oasis Spa, they found all the classic indicators of an illicit operation. Okay? They discovered a large quantity of condoms hidden within a mattress. Because safe sex is great sex, but you better wear a latex. Okay? The $50 million in condoms that Donald Trump said were sent to Hamas by US Aid were stashed in a mattress an Oasis Spa. And they were hidden in plants, which could be an organic option for the environmentally conscious perverts out there. Okay? Not to mention, she had numerous online reviews for explicit sexual acts with customers. That'll do it. Okay? When you have actual online reviews about the handjobs that are happening in your establishment, you are just begging to get caught. Okay? If your Yelp reviews sound like they belong on OnlyFans trust and believe, you might as well be snitching on yourself. When they searched Soon Bang's residence, they also found a bunch of cash hidden in her bedroom. And the same style condom that was located in the Oasis Spa was found in Soon Bang's bedroom. I don't know why. That wasn't necessary details. She probably buys in bulk, just like Diddy does his baby oil. This what I don't understand though. Soon bang is 63. One of our employees got arrested. Their name was Yu shun Lee. Day 67. At what point are you too old for this? Okay? You should be sitting around watching Family Feud playing Scrabble, but you out here living like a crime Boss on a 50 cent power spin off. Why? And such an Obvious crime if your name is Soon Bang. Okay, don't run a business where that's exactly what's happening, okay? You can't get arrested for doing exactly what your name says. Speaking of her name, I think it's time to play a game of guess what. Right. She is Soon Bang, 63 years old, owns a massage parlor called Oasis Spa. When you went to Oasis Spa, they were also operating a prostitution business. DJ Envy. Guess what race she is.

[Angela Yee]

This is a tough one.

[DJ Envy]

One. Oh, new jerseys. Soon Bang hand jobs on the hidden menu.

[Angela Yee]

I'm bl. Asian.

[DJ Envy]

Tiger style.

[Gabe Leonards]

Tiger style.

[DJ Envy]

Okay, okay, okay. Soon Bang, 63 years old, owns a massage parlor called Oasis Spa. When you went to Oasis Spa, they were operating a prostitution business. Jess. Hilarious. Guess what? Racist.

[Jess Hilarious]

Black.

[DJ Envy]

Oh, okay.

[Angela Yee]

What made you think black? I'm just curious.

[Jess Hilarious]

We can get a little kinky sometimes and do a name change. You know what I mean? You know?

[DJ Envy]

Okay.

[Jess Hilarious]

All right.

[DJ Envy]

Now, I have seen no pictures. All right? I'm basing this off all gut feelings, but if her name is Soon Bang and one of her employees is Yushan Lee, and Lee is spelled Li, I'm just going to assume that DJ Envy, you are absolutely correct and Soon Being is Asian. Why did you do the Donald Trump double hand job dance? Why did you do. Okay, I'm just gonna assume she's Asian. Abcd Hand job free. Okay, Please give Suan Bang the biggest Hee Haw.

[Angela Yee]

Now, I may what or may have not been to Oasis Spa before.

[DJ Envy]

Oh, you've been there before. That's why you did the double hand job.

[Angela Yee]

When I used to live in. In that county, there was Groupons, and you could get. They were cheap.

[DJ Envy]

You know what's crazy?

[Angela Yee]

Cheap massages.

[DJ Envy]

I'll tell you what's crazy. What? You didn't have to volunteer that information. You just decided to tell us that you may or may not be involved in this type of activity.

[Angela Yee]

Me and the wife went and got, you know, massages, but I didn't get no happy ending or nobody even asked. I'm just telling you.

[DJ Envy]

You didn't even have to tell us. You.

[Angela Yee]

I just.

[DJ Envy]

Nope.

[Angela Yee]

Because I looked it up. When you said Oasis Spot in Denville, I'm like, I think I've been there before. 711 is around the corner all around.

[Jess Hilarious]

New York, though, because my old camera guy loose. He used to. He used to. Yeah, he used to partake in those all the time.

[DJ Envy]

He did, actually. That was always the spot.

[Jess Hilarious]

I don't know about Oasis Spot, but I know he used to do it he said it's more in New York than you think. It is one on every corner. And the majors be going to work and then going to work, work after the work. So yeah, he would come. Come in here after coming there.

[Angela Yee]

No. I mean, it was never. No, I didn't get no hand job or nothing like that.

[DJ Envy]

But you sound guilty to me, sir.

[Angela Yee]

I'm be honest with you.

[DJ Envy]

I didn't even ask for it.

[Angela Yee]

We didn't ask for one of these. Like, what are you talking about?

[DJ Envy]

Okay. And let me ask you a question.

[Angela Yee]

You've been to a bunch of massage places. Have they ever offered you?

[DJ Envy]

Never.

[Angela Yee]

Me neither.

[DJ Envy]

I've never gotten that.

[Angela Yee]

Me neither.

[DJ Envy]

I don't believe you, though.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Don't.

[DJ Envy]

You sound guilty over there dressed like Arsenio hall in the 90s. Point. Doing the Donald Trump double hand job.

[Angela Yee]

I hate y'all.

[DJ Envy]

Donkey of the Day is sponsored by renowned personal injury attorney Michael the Bull Laminsoft. Don't be a donkey when you need a fighter on your side. If you're ever injured, go to michaelthebull.com that's michaelthebull.com and when you mess with the bull, you get the horns. Wake that ass up early in the morning. The Breakfast Club.

[Maria Fernanda Diaz]

Hey, y'all. I'm Maria Fernanda Diaz. When youn're Invisible is my love letter to the working class people and immigrants who shaped me. Season 2 shares stories about community and being underestimated.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

All the greatest changes have happened when a couple of people said, this sucks, let's do something about it.

[DJ Envy]

We get paid to serve you, but we're made out of the same things.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

It's rare to have black male teachers.

[DJ Envy]

Sometimes I am the testament.

[Maria Fernanda Diaz]

Listen to when youn're Invisible on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Do you remember what you said the first night I came over here? Ow. Goes lower. From Blumhouse TV, iHeart podcasts and Ember 20 comes an all new fictional comedy podcast series. Join the flighty Damien Hirst as he unravels the mystery of his vanished boyfriend. I've been spending all my time looking for answers about what happened to Santi and what's the way to find a missing person. Sleep with everyone he knew, Obviously. Listen to the hookup on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.

[Arturo Castro]

Hi, I'm Arturo Castro and I've been lucky enough to do stuff like Broad City and Narcos and Roadhouse. And now I'm starting a podcast because honestly, guys, I don't feel the space is crowded enough. Get ready for Greatest Escapes, a new comedy podcast about the wildest true escape stories in history. Each week I'll be sitting down with some of the most hilarious actors and writers and comedians. People like Ed Helms, Diane Guerrero, and Joseph Gord.

[DJ Envy]

I love storytelling and I love you, so I can't wait.

[Arturo Castro]

Listen and subscribe to Greatest escapes on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Gabe Leonards]

What would you do if mysterious drones appeared over your hometown? I started asking questions. What do you remember happening on that night of December 16th? It actually rotated around our house, looking as if it was peering in each window of our home. Gabe I'm Gabe Leonors from Imagine I Heart Podcasts and Leonard's Entertainment. Listen to Obscurum Invasion of the Drones. Wherever you get your favorite podcasts.