Family Therapy: The Gathering - A New Family

Summary

The Breakfast Club: Family Therapy – "The Gathering: A New Family"

Podcast: Family Therapy (The Breakfast Club / iHeartPodcasts)
Host: Elliot Connie
Date: December 7, 2025
Featured Family: Chris, Gladys, Jasmine, and Elijah

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Episode Overview

Family Therapy returns with Season 2, introducing a new family facing the challenge of connection without a central anchor. Host Elliot Connie guides the family—a group of siblings and a nephew—through opening conversations about their disjointed pasts, the process of reconnection, and their aspirations for healing, clarity, and healthy routines. This episode serves as a foundational "gathering," allowing family members to introduce themselves, reveal formative stories, and set collective hopes for the therapy process.

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Main Themes

• Family without an Anchor: Exploring the effects of growing up without a unifying matriarch or patriarch, and the struggles of forming family routines and traditions.
• Reconnection and Healing: Addressing long-lost siblings, the impact of trauma, and the ongoing journey to genuine family connection.
• Authenticity and Autonomy: Focusing on individual journeys—finding authenticity, building confidence, learning patience, and seeking clarity.
• The Challenge of Vulnerability: Confronting the discomfort of reaching out, risking rejection, and embracing the "uncomfortable work" of reconnection.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Introduction to the Family (03:08–05:24)

• Elliot sets the scene: The family lacks a central anchor due to early disconnection, particularly stemming from the father's absence.
• Family members introduce themselves:
  • Jasmine: Youngest on her dad's side, grateful for getting siblings and nephew together.
  • Gladys: Second eldest daughter, excited and grateful for the chance to connect.
  • Chris: Eldest son—adopted and raised separately, only reunited with his siblings 20 years ago.
    • Chris shares the family may have a "mystery sibling."
  • Elijah: Gladys’ 22-year-old son, only child, expressing skepticism and value in anonymity.

2. Host’s Initial Assessments (05:09–09:21)

• Elliot provides insight on each member:
  • Elijah: Struggles to be his authentic self, difficulty expressing negative emotions or needs.
  • Gladys: Passionate, sometimes abrasive in her love and desire to control.
  • Chris: Natural leader learning how to be a positive family anchor.
  • Jasmine: Working on self-confidence and realizing her own power and truth.

“I think the biggest challenge is... how easy it is to not build family-sustaining routines. It’s just so easy to live in our own bubble.”
—Elliot (09:21)

3. The Pain and Hope of Reconnection (09:21–11:26)

• Elliot underscores the importance and difficulty of family reconnection, urging stepping out of comfort zones.
• Reaching out exposes vulnerability—risking rejection is part of the process.

"You reach out to that cousin or uncle...and they don't return your phone call...because we're not super bonded. And you get your feelings hurt.”
—Elliot (10:43)

4. Individual Stories & Family Dynamics

Chris’s Journey: Adoption, Trauma, Reunion (11:39–16:08)

• Chris describes discovering and integrating with his biological family:
  • Raised apart after his mother’s death in a tragic fight (detailed at 16:08).
  • Adoption led to a sense of incompleteness—reunion with siblings filled "the last puzzle."
• The reunion became newsworthy due to the tragic context of his early years.

“With finding my family was the last piece of my life of...not being complete, like the last puzzle.”
—Chris (15:47)

Jasmine’s Perspective: Sibling Connection & Trauma (18:50–20:52)

• Skeptical at first but wanted to "pour into" her dad’s side, especially as she heals from trauma with maternal siblings.
• Family feels tight-knit when together, despite not having grown up as a unit.

Gladys’ Clarity: On Blending, Acceptance, and Mystery (20:55–22:42)

• Six known siblings; possible seventh ("mystery sister").
• Siblings' mothers supported sibling relationships; family culture is inclusion, not division by maternal line.

“It’s weird saying my siblings from my mom...because when we’re all together, no one separates that. ...We all claim each other’s siblings.”
—Gladys (22:19)

Elijah’s Experience: Uncertainty, Caution, Individualism (23:04–26:24)

• Recounts "uncertainty" from a childhood marked by moving between parents and states.
• Developed skepticism and adaptability—cautious in relationships, used to separation.

“I’ve always been a loner by nature, but then also I've grown up to be somewhat cynical...separation was the name of the game."
—Elijah (24:28)

5. The Promise of Therapy and Family Clarity

• Elliot and Gladys both highlight the importance of therapy for healing and clarity.

“I’ve always wanted us to have therapy. ...You know, war and peace happen at home and we bring it into the world.”
—Gladys (31:00)

• Jasmine expresses a special bond with Elijah, hoping for his voice to be heard in the process.

6. Looking Forward: The Healing Journey (35:10–36:14)

• Elliot recaps the session as just the beginning:
  • Future episodes will focus on legacy, trauma, survival, healing between mother and son, and envisioning the family's ideal future.
  • Emphasis will shift from retelling the past toward creating new, positive family narratives.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On familial routine and anchorlessness:

  “A really, really healthy family will have...a matriarch or a patriarch that brings a family together...this family never really learned how.”
  —Elliot (03:21)

• On vulnerability in reconnection:

  “You have to expose yourself to hurts...to being rejected. ...Most people, that's not a fun experience.”
  —Elliot (10:43)

• On therapy’s value:

  “It's okay not to be okay sometimes and be able to build strength and love within each other.”
  —Chris (11:39)

• On generational impact:

  “The stuff you guys are doing are going to impact Elijah's unborn children, because it'll kind of take the family and make it make sense.”
  —Elliot (33:57)

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Important Segment Timestamps

• Intro and overview: 03:08–04:47
• Family introductions: 05:09–06:52
• Host’s assessment of family members: 07:05–09:21
• Chris’s adoption/reunion story: 13:16–18:18
• Jasmine’s sharing and trauma: 18:50–20:52
• Gladys on family blending and claim: 20:55–22:42
• Elijah’s point of view: 23:04–26:24
• Gladys on therapy for her and Elijah: 30:53–31:47
• Host’s summation and future focus: 35:10–36:14

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Episode Tone

The episode is candid, empathetic, and hopeful—balancing raw personal pain with a sense of optimism and forward momentum. Elliot is attentive and affirming in his role, helping each family member feel heard and laying the groundwork for deeper therapeutic work in episodes ahead.

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Summary

Episode 1 of Season 2 is an authentic, sometimes raw, but ultimately optimistic portrayal of a family beginning the journey from fragmentation to connection. The family’s story is marked by loss, adoption, reunion, and the persistent effort to claim one another as true kin despite years and geography apart. As Elliot guides them, listeners are left with a real sense that healing is possible—not just for them, but for anyone willing to do the work of intentional, vulnerable reconnection.

Transcript

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All.

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[Elliot (Family Therapy Host)]

Welcome back to Family Therapy. I'm Elliot. Connie, and this is season two of Family Therapy. We have a new family joining us this season. I think I would describe this family as.

Being without an anchor. And a really, really healthy family will have. Will have something of a matriarch or a patriarch that brings a family together for family routines and family events. Like, for example, you might have, like, a grandmother and everybody. Everybody congregates there for Christmas. Or you might have a grandfather and everybody congregates there for a July 4th celebration or maybe one of the fathers or aunts and uncles. But there's something that becomes, like, the center point or the anchor of the family that causes the family to reconnect and stay connected. And I think the best way to describe this family is being without those anchor points. And you have people that. It's almost like we love each other, but we don't know how to build a routine that includes one another. And I think that started early on from the father of the adult children that will be featured in this season. Because the family was very disconnected almost from the very beginning. This family never really learned how to build routines and relationships. And I think this.

Was a journey of not just reconnecting, but in the reconnection, learning how to build habits and routines that sustain the reconnection.

[Jasmine]

I'm Jasmine. This is my sister, my brother, my nephew. I begged for them to be here, so I'm truly grateful. I'm the youngest on my dad's side. They're the oldest.

[Gladys]

Hi, my name is Gladys. I'm super excited to be here with my family. I am my father's second eldest of the girls, so I.

I'm just really grateful for this opportunity. I'm so happy when Jasmine told me, and I was like, yeah, I was really excited to even hear that had joint.

[Jasmine]

And I was like, all right, auntie.

[Gladys]

All right. Gathering us all up, I see.

[Chris]

I'm the oldest from my father, so I'm Chris. So I was the. What the. I don't know from the last one would be found. We have a mystery sibling, so we don't know yet. We have a mystery sibling out there, so it might be the second to last, but it was a while before they found me.

[Elliot (Family Therapy Host)]

Wow. Okay. How long. How long has it been since you've been found, Chris?

[Elijah]

Oh, shoot.

[Chris]

Almost like 20 years. I was in my mid-30s, so I'm like 52 getting up there. But. But yeah, so, yeah, it's been about 20 years.

[Elijah]

Hey, yeah, I'm going by Elisha, and I guess I'm the odd one out because I don't have any siblings. So, yeah, I am. What's it called, 22 years old now. Just turned 22 a couple months ago. And yeah, Auntie Jasmine came here and asked me to join. At first I was a bit skeptical, but after learning I can, you know, have being more anonymous, I was like, oh, okay, I'm fine with coming on.

[Elliot (Family Therapy Host)]

I love it. And so you're not one of their siblings, so what is your familial connection?

[Elijah]

Gladys is my mom, and uncle Chris is my uncle.

[Elliot (Family Therapy Host)]

Elijah is a young man on a journey of authenticity that for one reason or another, some things have happened along his journey that make it hard for him to be his authenticity, authentic self. It makes it hard for him to express his wants, needs, emotions, especially when those emotions might be negative, and also needing to remind himself that the things that bring him happiness and joy are things he needs to make sure are a part of his life. Gladys is intense. Gladys loves her family so much that I think sometimes some of her siblings and some of the family members experience her love as abrasive and experience her. Her language and her desires for them as abrasive. And I think, I think Gladys needed to learn throughout this journey, patience, to allow people autonomy, to allow people to be who they are supposed to be, and she does not have to control each and every detail.

Chris. Chris is interesting to me because I think Chris, he has such leadership qualities and such a desire to be the leader, to be the patriarch, if you will. And I think his journey is about learning how to do that and to bring people in and to be the person that the younger generation in the family can look up to and depend on to keep them to continue to function with routines that are good and healthy for a family. Jasmine is also on a journey. Maybe not so much of a journey of authenticity as I described with Elijah, but potentially more so a journey of self confidence and self esteem. A journey of realizing her own truth and her own power and realizing that though mistakes have been made throughout life, like, you can still be the. The things that you want to still be and make yourself and others proud of you.

I think the biggest challenge is how easy it is to not build.

Family sustaining routines. Like, we live in a world where it's just so easy to, like, live our own lives and be in our own silo and just be in our own bubble. And if you do that, before you know it, you're gonna turn around and that, that cousin you knew when they were 2 is now 22, or that. That uncle you haven't seen in, you know, however long is now passed away. Like, it's just so easy.

To just live our own lives and to be in our own bubble. And I think the biggest challenge is when you are working to reconnect with family, you have to do some really uncomfortable work, which is I have to step outside my bubble and do actions that I wouldn't ordinarily do to reconnect with family. And the other thing you have to do is you have to expose yourself to hurts. Because one of the things that the family experienced throughout this journey was rejection. Because what happens when you reach out to that cousin or that uncle or that aunt or that.

Long lost sibling you haven't talked to in a minute? You reach out to them and they don't return your phone call, don't return your text message, or something gets lost in translation, because we're not super bonded. And you get your feelings hurt. Like, you have to expose yourself to being hurt, to being rejected. And most people, that's not a fun experience to do. And I think the biggest challenge was overcoming all of that and being like, in spite of it being uncomfortable, in spite of it being unusual. It is valuable and we must do it.

So I just want to kind of get to know you guys. What should I know as we go into this experience that you guys think would be helpful? Like, what's in. What's important for me to know?

[Chris]

My thing is learning about my siblings, my nephew, about their struggles, their traumas. That way I can also be able to assist and understand their struggles, what they've been through. They can understand mine, so we can move forward. And because that's the thing, like, I understand what therapy did for me, how it helped me, and how I could say that it's okay, you know, to be able to talk to someone, because mental health is everything. It's one of the most important things besides having health itself in the body. So for me, I know how important, you know, therapy is, and I know how important it is to have family around you that you can talk to and express and understand, you know, it's okay not to be okay sometimes and be able to build strength and love within each other and know that, you know, we all love each other and we have love and have each other back because sometimes, you know, like, I come from a big family, from my adoptive side, my father's side, on my mom's side. They're all big family. And my nephew, you know, he's the only. But, like, for me, I have so many siblings, so many cousins. You can kind of sometimes get separated from family because it's so big. You don't always talk to all your siblings or family members. Sometimes you, you know, move apart from them. So to come together, especially, like, with this, and have individuals that understand you more, it makes it easier to go through life because it makes it easier to pick up that phone and be like, oh, I know who I can call. I know who I have within my family that I can talk to and relate to.

[Elliot (Family Therapy Host)]

Chris, do I understand you were adopted and raised in a different family, and then these guys found you? Is that right?

[Elijah]

Yeah.

[Elliot (Family Therapy Host)]

What was that like to be found by these guys?

[Gladys]

Chris's girlfriend found us.

Ex girlfriend.

[Elliot (Family Therapy Host)]

Chris. Why did she do that?

[Chris]

I had expressed to her I was trying to find my family a long time ago through the Navy. It didn't work out. She was in the Navy with me. She had got out, and she still does, but she works for the FBI and hit me up when I was actually stationed out here in Florida. I think around 03 04, she had asked me, hey, I remember, you know, us talking about you not finding your family. You want to find your family. She goes, I'm in that position to do that. I said, I only know my grandmother's name. That's it. I didn't even know my dad's name. He was not on my birth certificate.

[Jasmine]

My dad's grandmother.

[Chris]

No, my mom's grandmother. So, yeah, because I didn't know. The last time I had seen our father, I was seven years old. I remember the day I was, like, in front of my adopted grandmother's yard. He pulled up, like, in, you know, some small station wagon, bunch of, you know, Puerto Rican family.

[Elijah]

Hey.

[Chris]

And like, hey, I'll take you to the movies. I was like, oh, okay. He was like, you want to do that? Like, yeah. Then, boom. That was it. Never seen him.

[Jasmine]

Dad was young when he had.

[Elijah]

Yeah, yeah.

[Chris]

He was a teenager when he had me, so he was trying to get his life together. And I know he was at that time, back and forth through Puerto Rico and the United States. But like I said, I was seven years old when I last seen him. Yeah, when you.

[Gladys]

When you.

[Chris]

It was like, 16. Yeah, he's like, 16.

[Gladys]

Okay.

[Elliot (Family Therapy Host)]

Yeah.

[Chris]

So that grew up with my adopted Family. I had my traumas. I had to get used to being separated from my family. Had a lot of questions why I didn't grow up with my real family. So it was a lot going through. I had therapy all the way until I was in high school because I just went through a lot, you know, and then Boston is not a great city to go through something like that because I grew up in Roxbury. I grew up in the Berry, right on Blue Hill Island. And.

So trying to deal with that, trying to deal with the inner city was a lot. I had been locked up, dys all that. But like, you know, I went to a couple of therapists. So I found my right therapist and it helped me, like I said, it helped me. But with finding my family was the last piece of my life of, you know, not being complete, like the last puzzle.

[Gladys]

Right.

[Chris]

So when that happened, that was, that was cool. I remember my little sister Jasmine was there with my little niece at the time. She was a baby and that was cool. I still got the pictures.

[Jasmine]

Yeah, it was on the news and everything.

[Elliot (Family Therapy Host)]

Was it really?

[Chris]

Yeah, it was on the 11 o' clock news.

[Elliot (Family Therapy Host)]

Chris on why was your family reuniting on the news? Lots of families reunite. What made yours?

[Chris]

What happened was when I was four years old, my mom got in a fight with one of my siblings, one of my siblings on my mom's side, my youngest brother Marco got in a fight within that fight. It was a tragedy night. So I was for my. My mom was in there fighting out a physical fight. She ended up sustaining a lot of wounds, hit her head, so she had a brain hemorrhage. So she died that night during that fight. My two year old sister, she was in the bathtub alone during that fight. So she had slipped, hit her head and drowned in the water. So that's why it was crazy because my other brother had took our younger brother out the house to go out and called the police. He was five. And so that's why it became like a tragic thing. And it was on the news. So that's why it made the news.

[Elliot (Family Therapy Host)]

All those years later. Your family reuniting also made the news.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Elliot (Family Therapy Host)]

Do you remember when your then girlfriend told you she found your family?

[Chris]

Well, she surprised it on me the day like they had planned, like they were at a center that was in Roxbury up in the Mission Hill. I thought I was just going to see my little sister Jasmine for the first time. That's how our dad brought it to me. He was like, oh, you know your Sister. We're gonna go pick up your sister. I was like, okay, cool. I'm just going for the ride. She was like, oh, yeah, your sister. She's at some party. We gotta pick her up from there. I'm like, all right. You know, I'm not. You know, I'm just like, all right, that's cool. I'm just trying to see my sister. I walk in and everybody was there. And because my girlfriend at the time, she had told me she had to go back to D.C. back to D.C. so she faked, like, she left, then went back out of town. So I'm just like. I'm just chilling with my dad and going and had my son with me. We walked up in the center, greeted by everybody. It was a big shock because I was like, what's going on? You know? But that was cool, you know, and had the news. I'm looking around like, what in the world? My younger brother Marco was one of the first person that came up and grabbed me, and I've never seen my brother, so that was cool.

[Elliot (Family Therapy Host)]

You reminded me of something I don't always think about Blue Hill Ave. I spent a lot of my childhood. My dad lived right off of Blue Hill Ave. And my childhood church, it was in Dorchester, and it was right off Blue Hill Ave. It was called Refuge Church of Christ.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Elliot (Family Therapy Host)]

That was where I spent every Sunday in my childhood.

[Chris]

Mine was St. Patrick's oh, wow.

[Elliot (Family Therapy Host)]

Very nice. Okay, cool. All right. What? Does anybody else want to share something they think I need to know as we go in this journey? Thank you, Chris.

[Jasmine]

Well, I will share. I'll admit I was a bit skeptical as well. I can be an oversharer, which makes me nervous about relationships on my mom's side of the family. So I. Coming into this, I wanted to pour into it. Feels weird saying, like, my dad's side, my mom's side, but my dad, my siblings on my dad's side. Because we've always. I feel like since we found Chris, we've all tried to stay in contact with each other because we also found my brother Lance right before we found Chris. So, yeah, it was like since Chris came, it kind of connected that clue. We've always stayed in contact. I've had a lot of trauma with my siblings on my mom's side. Now that I'm in a healing space, I want to pour into my siblings that have been there for me, which have been on my dad's side, which is so weird because my dad didn't raise any of us.

[Gladys]

So.

[Jasmine]

Anytime we get together. Even if it's two of us, three of us, five of us, a thousand of us. People literally think grew up together because we're just so tight, but we haven't even. We haven't all been together one time. My, my brother's wedding will be the first time we're all gonna be really together. Except for the one that's missing.

We don't know she's.

[Gladys]

We don't know.

[Jasmine]

We don't know her. But yes, I, I.

I lost my oldest brother and I lost my oldest sister on my mom's side.

[Elliot (Family Therapy Host)]

And that's the night that Chris is referring to, right?

[Jasmine]

No, no, this is on my mom's side.

[Elliot (Family Therapy Host)]

Oh, okay.

[Jasmine]

I didn't even know that about Chris. I just learned this right now.

[Elliot (Family Therapy Host)]

Hey, Jasmine, can I interrupt you for a second? How many kids did your father have?

[Gladys]

Oh, seven.

[Chris]

That, that's a, that's a good go.

[Jasmine]

You want to.

[Gladys]

Chris is the oldest. We don't know if Jasmine's actually the baby, but she's the baby right now. She claims the baby, but there's a sister who is Italian, her mother's Italian and she is in Connecticut. So our dad really has helped populate the New England area. The only two siblings from my father that grown up together from birth end up is Lewis and I. So my mom had two children with my father, and my dad does have one more child that is, she's a young woman who's out in the world that we would love to connect with. That's one of the things that, just to be fair about our father growing up, because I was his eldest, without knowing where Chris was, my dad always prayed to find all of his children. Always, you know, said like, I just pray. And he always spoke about Chris. So I grew up knowing I had my big brother Chris, but I didn't know about Lance, nor did I know about the youngest sister until later on. But yeah, we're so much alike. All of our siblings that are from our mother. The interesting thing about us, we, we, we don't. Like Jasmine said, it's weird saying my, my siblings from my mom because when we're all together, no one separates that. That's just Jasmine's sister. No, we all claim each other's siblings. I never remembered growing up that the women my dad had children with, I've never seen our mothers disagree. Our mothers were always for like, if you're going to see your sibling, go see your sibling. So it's where, although we're.

Just a different family as far as DNA. We all claim each other.

[Elliot (Family Therapy Host)]

So, yeah, yeah. So that. That means there's six, right?

[Gladys]

It is six. Dad's biological children are six.

[Elliot (Family Therapy Host)]

Elijah, what was it like growing up in a family like this one, discovering uncles and aunts?

[Elijah]

When you asked what something that I wanted to bring up was sort of uncertainty for me. I grew up with a lot of uncertainty because my childhood was vastly different from everyone else's. Here I, once again, the only child. I had both of my parents in my life for a while, but it was more because I had to move back and forth between them. At one point, it was just different neighborhoods and then eventually grew to different states. I got to see different parts of my family from my dad and mom's side and my stepmom's side because I like my stepmom. I got to see different family dynamics.

It has made me, through the good and bad, very uncertain about certain things. I've always been a loner by nature, but then also I've also grown up to be somewhat cynical to and because that's like when you grow up with so many different people and you see how much, like when people will first present themselves to be one thing and then they eventually be. I always approach a situation with a certain amount of caution.

That has made me question things about family, love, relationships, myself. And, you know, I'm not necessarily.

Yeah, it's.

It's a very interesting. What's it called? Conversation. Because when you guys. When all everyone here talks about how, you know, it didn't differentiate between siblings or who's really connected, they just all adopted each other. For me, it would be.

[Jasmine]

I would be a.

[Elijah]

But more, I guess you could say skeptical and analytical about it because, you know, I just. That that's the way I grew up. Like, separation was the name of the game in a lot of instances.

[Elliot (Family Therapy Host)]

How did you deal with that?

[Elijah]

Moving around, I did stuff on my own. I learned to entertain myself, be my own world. It wasn't as confusing in that situation. Oftentimes I would be the oldest of the group. And for a while, I learned to be able to, you know, get people together, or if I wasn't on my own, I was with other people. But I would always either be like, the one who was the quietest or the one who was the loudest. Like, it just depended on the situation. And it was mostly just adapting to whatever the situation needed that I learned to do.

[Elliot (Family Therapy Host)]

Elijah, you used the word confusing a few times about that upbringing. Would it be good for you if there was some clarity that came out of this process. Some family clarity I think it would.

[Elijah]

Be, but I'm not sure if that's possible.

[Elliot (Family Therapy Host)]

But if it is possible, you think it'd be a good thing if we're able to pull it off, that would be a good thing for you and your life.

[Elijah]

Sure. Yeah.

[Elliot (Family Therapy Host)]

Cool. Okay. Thanks, Elijah. The conversation doesn't stop here. We'll be right back with more family therapy.

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This sip and season and. And only for a limited time.

[Sophie Cunningham]

Sprite, obey your thirst.

[Elliot (Family Therapy Host)]

Hello. Hello.

[Malcolm Gladwell]

I'm Malcolm Gladwell, host of the podcast smart talks with IBM. I recently sat down with IBM's chairman and CEO, Arvind Krishna, and I asked him, how can companies use AI to its fullest potential to create smarter business? My one advice to them, pick areas you can scale. Don't pick the shiny little toys on the side. For example, if anybody has more than 10% of what they had for customer service 10 years ago, they're already five years behind. If anybody is not using AI to make their developers who write software, 30% more productive today with the goal of being 70% more productive.

[Elijah]

Yeah.

[Gladys]

Wow.

[Malcolm Gladwell]

So we are not asking our clients to be the first experiment on it. We say you can leverage what we did. We are happy to bring out all our learnings, including what needs to change in the process. Because the biggest change is not technology. It's getting people to accept that there's a different way to do things. To listen to the full conversation, visit IBM.com smarttalks.

[Ed Helms / Kal Penn]

Hey, everyone.

[Elliot (Family Therapy Host)]

Ed Helms here, and hi, I'm Kal Penn, and we're the hosts of Irsay.

[Malcolm Gladwell]

The Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club.

[Ed Helms / Kal Penn]

This week on the podcast, I am sitting down with Jenny Garth, host of the iHeart podcast. I choose me to discuss the new Audible adaptation of the timeless Jane Austen classic Pride and Prejudice. This is not a trick question. There's no wrong answer. What role would I play?

[Elliot (Family Therapy Host)]

You know what?

[Sophie Cunningham]

I can see you as Mr. Darcy. You got a little Colin Firth.

[Ed Helms / Kal Penn]

Okay, that's really sweet. I appreciate that, but are you sure I'm not the dad? I'm not Mr. Bennett here. Listen to Irsay, the Audible and I Heart Audiobook Club on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Commercial Announcer]

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[Ed Helms / Kal Penn]

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[Elliot (Family Therapy Host)]

Anything else that anyone wants to share that might be helpful and useful for me as we go into this process?

[Gladys]

Well, Elijah, you're like, you're. You're full on right just here.

[Elijah]

Yeah.

[Gladys]

You know, thank you so much for bringing up the confusion and speaking on that, because I do think that that is important and I think for me, like Elijah and I, I've always wanted us to have therapy. So this is a beautiful opportunity. I just didn't know that it was going to be in this dynamic of us being able to speak about everything as far as whatever we could clear up between son and mother. Because I'm so, I'm big on everything happens at home. You know, war and peace happen at home and we bring it into the world. Elijah has always been a peaceful, soulful old soul straight from the womb. Like homie came out with a little mustache like he was.

[Elliot (Family Therapy Host)]

He does seem like an old soul.

[Gladys]

There's so many times I remember that I would just sit down with him and ask him, like, who was he reincarnated for and did he really come into the world to like, you know, save and help so many people in the world? So I am opened. And Elliot, I'm a Complete open book. So I don't know where or what questions you want to ask, but, like, I really want Elijah to be able to come out of here with as much clarity as possible, with the support of my siblings as well. Cause we've all been around like. Like Chris coming into our lives was when Elijah was 2. Chris has been a huge part as well as. Although we didn't know him growing up, we know each other's children per se. Like, you know, so.

[Elliot (Family Therapy Host)]

And the reason why I think that stood out to me is if I put myself in Elijah's shoes, most kids, it's like, okay, there's mom and there's. I know who my uncles and aunts are. I know who my cousins are. It helps us form the world. In Elijah's case, he was being introduced to, like, oh, you've now got a new uncle that we didn't know. Things were moving pieces, which is not necessarily bad. It would be probably a wonderful thing to help, like, clarity and crystallization happen, because Elijah said something super important. And I agree with you. There's something about Elijah, Gladys. There's something about your son. When you described him as an old soul, I was like, yep, that's how I experience him too. He seems peaceful in a Zen kind of way. He said something that my psychotherapy ears really stood out, which is I'm skeptical of relationships. And I think that speaks to growing up in an environment where things were moving around him, which isn't anybody's fault necessarily. Like, I'm not saying anyone did a bad job or anything, but the environment he was in contributes to him being cautious in those ways now. And I, as I hear these story, and I'm just like, wow, this is going to be super impactful when we get it organized and making sense. Because Elijah is.

Like the next generation. He will experience the impact of that. The stuff you guys are doing are going to impact Elijah's unborn children, because it'll. It'll kind of take the family and make it make sense. Because your. Your family story is an unusual family story. It's not the typical family story. Again, that doesn't make it bad in any way, but it means, wow, like, what if we did some things to kind of organize it in a way that made sense and added safety? You probably start experiencing Elijah as being more confident and being more kind of assured of himself as he goes into other dynamics in his life. And it's exciting. I'm. I'm super excited now to start to start this journey.

[Jasmine]

I have a special relationship with Elijah and I, you know, there's things, you know, I feel like the best auntie. So, you know, they vent to me a lot and because I want to keep, you know, our relationship sacred and I want their voice to be heard. I think this is going to be a great opportunity for all of us, but especially Elijah so his voice can be heard as well.

[Gladys]

I agree.

[Elliot (Family Therapy Host)]

This was the beginning, the gathering of four family members with mixed reviews about therapy coming together for the purpose of understanding one another more Chris, Gladys, Elijah and Jasmine. Four voices, one table and stories on top of stories of the past and of the present. And as we proceed in the coming episodes, I will aim to inspire these stories to pivot towards the future. The stories that haven't happened yet. But it's important to envision our ideal selves, who we want to be, how we want to interact, and the connections we seek to have with our family members. We'll go deeper into the legacy of trauma, into the role of survival, into the fragile yet powerful work of healing between a mother and her son and how to get out of your own way. Because this is not just therapy, this is a family's journey and we are just getting started.

I would love to hear from you about your healing journey, your family and your feedback. Leave a Review Send a DM Connect with me on socialsiotspeaks Family Therapy is a production of iHeartRadio and the Black Effect Podcast Network. Special thanks to our assistant, Glendale Sepe. It's produced by Jacques Thomas and the Executive producer, Dolly S. Bishop. For more podcasts from the Black Effect, visit the IFAR radio app or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. The content presented on the Family Therapy Podcast serves solely for educational and informational purposes. It should not be considered a replacement for personalized medical or mental health guidance and does not constitute a provider patient relationship. It is advisable to consult with your healthcare provider or health team for any specific concerns or questions you may have.

[Coca-Cola Advertiser]

What a matchup we got, y'.

[Elijah]

All.

[Coca-Cola Advertiser]

This is that classic HBCU vibe. Non stop action. The band is rocking and the crowd lit. Chance, echo, drum beat. Everybody showing that school pride game like this. Yeah, it calls for an ice cold Coca Cola. Ah, crisp and refreshing. That's a game changer right there.

Yeah, that taste.

[Elijah]

Oh.

[Coca-Cola Advertiser]

Always hits the right note. Just like the band at halftime. And just like that, we're back at it. Passionate fans, school colors everywhere. And an ice cold Coca Cola. That's a winning combo. No matter the sport, no matter the yard. Everybody knows fan Work is thirsty work. So grab a Coca Cola and keep that HBCU pride going.

[Malcolm Gladwell]

Hey audiobook lovers, I'm Cal Penn.

[Ed Helms / Kal Penn]

I'm Ed Helms.

[Malcolm Gladwell]

Ed and I are inviting you to join the best sounding book club you've ever heard with our new podcast, Irsay the Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club.

[Ed Helms / Kal Penn]

Each week we sit down with your favorite iHeart podcast hosts and some very special guests to discuss the latest and greatest audiobooks.

[Elliot (Family Therapy Host)]

From audible, listen to Earsay on America's.

[Malcolm Gladwell]

Number one podcast network, iHeart. Follow Earsay and start listening on the.

[Elliot (Family Therapy Host)]

Free iHeartradio app today.

[Commercial Announcer]

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[Sophie Cunningham]

DeltaOne this is Sophie Cunningham from Show Me Something. Do you know the symptoms of moderate to severe obstructive sleep apnea, or OSA in adults with obesity? They may be happening to you without you knowing. If anyone has ever said you snored loudly, or if you spend your days fighting off excessive tiredness, irritability and concentration issues, it may be due to osa. OSA is a serious condition where your airway partially or completely collapses during sleep, which may cause breathing interruptions and oxygen deprivation. Learn more at. Don't sleep on osa.com this information is provided by Lilly a medicine company.

[Ed Helms / Kal Penn]

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[Commercial Announcer]

Is an I Heart Podcast. Guaranteed human.