Taylor Made (7:00)

Oh yeah.

Lauren LaRosa (7:02)

So first, okay, talk to them about, you know, where you're going to see the tour and how long you've been a Chris Brown fan. Chris Brown, Usher, just Chris Brown that you're a Fan of both of them. Okay, sure.

Taylor Made (7:12)

Actually, interesting enough. Usher, I think, was like, my first, like, celebrity crush as a kid.

Lauren LaRosa (7:20)

Really?

Taylor Made (7:20)

After his song, you skipped, like, Bow wow.

Lauren LaRosa (7:23)

I'm sorry. Bow, too. The rest of us started dating.

Taylor Made (7:26)

Wasn't there yet. I'm talking about, like, first hearing music. Like, when I heard. When I saw him on my way, I was like, who is that?

Lauren LaRosa (7:33)

And I'm like, I don't know.

Taylor Made (7:34)

Maybe. Oh, my. Maybe eight or so. I don't know either way. And then I'm a huge fan of Chris Brown, and I just think he's super talented. And both of them actually super talented.

Lauren LaRosa (7:49)

Like, this is.

Taylor Made (7:49)

This is a tour I've been waiting for. Because even when it came to them putting songs out, I was like, why are they not putting more songs out? So I'm super excited. So I'm doing. I'm gonna see them in New Orleans, me and my bestie. So I'm looking forward to it. Good food and a good concert.

Lauren LaRosa (8:11)

So I. I know BAE is not the happiest about that. And I mean. Okay, so I was telling Taylor, right? Like, I know men, because even charlamagne and envy, they be like, our wives are not going to go see Usher by themselves. Like, it's just not happening.

Taylor Made (8:27)

But it's. I mean, I don't. I just married you second to, like, Chris Brown.

Lauren LaRosa (8:36)

Don't want me either.

Taylor Made (8:37)

Like, if we're gonna be for real.

Lauren LaRosa (8:39)

Yeah.

Taylor Made (8:40)

But I also am not also that girl to be, like, risk it all and go chase it. Because it's kind of crazy if I did that.

Lauren LaRosa (8:48)

If you think about it, like, all

Taylor Made (8:50)

the celebrities, we meet up here, and, like, it's. It's kind of crazy. I wouldn't do that, I think.

Lauren LaRosa (8:55)

Okay, so here's what I was telling Taylor, right? Like, you know, as we're navigating this space because. And I can't speak for women who don't work in the industry.

Taylor Made (9:03)

Yeah.

Lauren LaRosa (9:04)

I can only speak for on the other side, because that's what we're experiencing. Like, even though you're not typically on the mic or typically in front of the camera, you are in the industry. You have been for some years. You work with really notable and respected voices and everything that you do with imaging in your own production company. Right. So you can pick up the phone and make some phone calls. So I think for bae, this is what I was telling her. It's a thing of. Okay. It's already a girls trip, and the guys be slick hating when it's a girls trip. Now you can't find your passport. And, you know, the babysitter didn't anonymously cancel because bad and been like, say, tell her you can't do it. Right. All these things are happening because he doesn't want you to go because it's a girls trip. Right. But more so it's just. It's the thing. You could pick up the phone and end up backstage with the Usher, backstage with the Chris Brown. And I know you, so I know, like, that don't mean nothing to you. Like, you could care less. You see those people, people all the time throughout the Breakfast Club. But I'm wondering how many people are also going through this in real life. Because when Chris Brown put that, I thought that part of it was like. That was like the joking part of it. Yeah, I know people that are upset that people want to support Chris Brown because people still think that he should live in all of the consequence of, you know, the issues with Rihanna from some time ago and then, you know, the things with Krue Che and all of that. But, you know, so any. Even female artists when they do songs with Usher. I mean, Usher, when they do songs with Chris Brown or that's a thing. When they stand up for him. I remember Kelly Rowland had that moment where she, you know, stood up for him at the. I believe it was the BET Awards. Yeah, they get pushed back. It is a thing. But I didn't know in real life, it's a thing of guys being like, oh, no, you're not gonna.

Taylor Made (10:43)

You know, it's crazy. He came with me to this year's Chris Brown.

Lauren LaRosa (10:47)

He's with you. It's different because not only it's not just about Chris Brown, Usher, and it's Taylor gonna, like, go be a groupie. And we know you're not gonna do that. But it's also like, I feel like men go to those type of concerts too, looking for women who are there that are by themselves that are single. Because, I mean, duh.

Taylor Made (11:07)

Yeah, like, if I'm a man, don't think women are paying. Even if guys are coming like that,

Lauren LaRosa (11:12)

I don't feel like the women are

Taylor Made (11:14)

paying them any mind. At least I wouldn't if I was single. Like, I'm like, okay, you.

Lauren LaRosa (11:20)

You like Chris Brown, Usher too.

Taylor Made (11:23)

I'm not looking at them, like, trying to holla at all.

Lauren LaRosa (11:26)

I understand it. But I also, I. I understand his side. Not to the point where, like, you should feel like you shouldn't go. You also, I mean, both of y' all just recently Had a baby, but the baby came out of your whole body. You deserve a little breaky break. Okay, I. I brought my guests on today, guys, because y' all know I'm always getting, you know, close to the source, close to the problem, and close to the exclusive. I wanted you guys to hear in real time. The girls are out here getting the pushback about going to go see Chris Breezy and Usher because the booze. The booze a little upset. I didn't. I didn't know it was real. Especially because you be having women at Usher's concert who are there with their man.

Taylor Made (12:03)

Yeah.

Lauren LaRosa (12:03)

Doing the whole cherry challenge. Yeah.

Taylor Made (12:06)

Mommy would not allow that.

Lauren LaRosa (12:08)

I know one. I was about to say, I know one thing. If Usher even blink you away with a chair, he's saying, girl, during the cherry part, put your drink down. Sober up a bit. Don't try. No, don't. I used to always tell my mom, oh, my God, older people are so stubborn. They just do things they're not supposed to do. I used to tell my mom when she was like, kind of like a bed rest, and she would be trying to do stuff whenever I was leaving the house, I'd be like, please, no gymnastics. Don't. Don't be out here trying things. Not today. Taylor, when you go to that, no gymnastics. Okay?

Taylor Made (12:38)

I wouldn't. I would know where. I don't think my seats are, like, right in front for even that.

Lauren LaRosa (12:44)

See, but even that could change one mention or one, oh, Usher's coming here, you know, to Breakfast Club. Or I said, here. This. This is not Breakfast Club, but Ushers coming to the Breakfast Club to promote. And then we all, you know, are having conversations, and it's like, that's. That's normally sometimes how, like, we end up even going to the shows. It's like once we over on the Breakfast Club side or even here with the podcast sometimes, too. Like, when I'm in contact with an artist team that is interested in me, like, you know, interviewing the artist or whatever, a lot of times I'm like, if you want me to talk about something I like, I don't just say yes. Because an artist is a celebrity a lot of times, especially with the latest with Lauren Laros of the podcast, I like taking you guys into the real. Like, come with me to the concert. So I'm bringing y' all back audio from the concert. I'm doing all the things. Yeah. So they. They look out, they make sure that the tickets are right and all that, because they know that that's a Part of the experience that I deliver to my audience. And you're a part of building audience here on the podcast and at Breakfast Club. So, you know, you never know what this heats may end up being.

Taylor Made (13:41)

But listen, my baby has nothing to worry about.

Lauren LaRosa (13:44)

You're allergic to cherries. You heard that?

Taylor Made (13:47)

I am ugly.

Lauren LaRosa (13:47)

I really don't like them. You heard that, right?

Taylor Made (13:50)

Right?

Wheezy (13:51)

This is weezy. WTF from Decisions, decisions. You know, a lot of us grew up not fully trusting the healthcare system. And honestly, the system has given us plenty of reasons to feel that way. But now it's time for us to take control of the conversation, to take control of our sexual health. Learn the facts, ask questions, and advocate for ourselves. That's how we start changing the story. So let's talk. We like to think HIV is something that affects other people, but it is hitting our own community hard. Black women make up about 13% of women in the US but account for nearly half of all new HIV diagnoses around women. And being proactive doesn't mean you just don't trust your partner. It just means you trust yourself enough to stay in control. So know your options, ask questions, and protect your peace and your body. That's real power. Because protecting yourself isn't embarrassing, it's responsible. Sex is normal. Protecting yourself should be normal too. Actually, it's kind of badass. Taking control of your sexual health is grown woman energy. Sponsored by Care for the Culture from Gilead Sciences.

Lauren LaRosa (15:00)

Hey, y', all, what's up? It's Lauren LaRosa. From the latest with Lauren LaRosa. And it is crazy to think that the first phone call happened over 150 years ago. Like, really sit with that. 150 years. And now it's springtime, the weather is getting nice, everybody's outside, and it kind of makes you think, who haven't you seen in a while? That friend or that family member that you keep saying, yo, we gotta catch up. Maybe it's time to stop saying it and actually make the call. Plan a walk, a picnic, a brunch. Something simple just to reconnect. And, you know, through all these years and all these calls, AT&T has been there connecting people in meaningful ways. This is more than just a story of technology and innovation. It's really a story of human connection. So as we celebrate 150 years of connection, take a moment today to reach out to someone that you care about. You never know how much that one call can really mean. Connecting changes everything. AT&T. Connecting changes everything AT&T. Hey, y' all. What's up? It's Lauren LaRosa. Okay, let's talk curls for a second. Because you already know if you have curly or coily hair, Moisture is not optional, it's essential. Dryness is one of the biggest challenges for curly hair and most products, they clock out after wash day. The new Ultra Moisture collection was literally designed with our hair in mind. Curls, coils, all of it powered by potato oil and Jamaican Black castor oil. Which means the science is actually doing the work. Clinically proven to help retain moisture for up to five days. Five whole days. The shampoo gently cleanses without stripping. The mask deeply, conditions and helps reduce breakage. The leave in adds a lightweight hydration with hyaluronic acid. And the curl cream defines without crunch. No sulfates, no parabens, no silicones, no mineral oil. Just nourishment without the compromise. Because here's the thing. Your hair deserves products that actually understand it. Moisture that starts at the root and keeps going. Well past Sunday, that's the Ultra Moisture collection from Cantu Explore their full line built for every curl pattern, every hair routine. Available now at Walmart, Target and Amazon. Go get it. Okay, so quick behind the scenes moment about my business because people always ask me, like, how do I actually run everything? So Shopify is literally the platform where I turn this tiny idea into a business. Before this, I was really just like popping up at any in person event, any vending opportunity I could, which I still do. But I wasn't really as focused online. I was like, you know, the websites are going to be too much to build out. I'm not like a super techie person, even though I can make things cute. And I didn't want to put up a website that would run my customers away. I wanted it to be efficient, to be easy. And Shopify helped me build brown girlgrinding.com out. Once I switched to Shopify, it finally clicked like, okay, I can actually do this. It's not about it being tough. It's about using the right platform to make it easy. Shopify takes all of the guesswork out. I build my own store, I manage my community, own my own customer relationships. Plus, this is my favorite thing. Shopify gets my products everywhere. I'm able to link stuff through Google, YouTube, TikTok, Shop the Shop app, even ChatGPT and Instagram, which is very important for me. And Shopify's AI co founder, Sidekick, game changer, let me tell y', all, right? So it's helped me not only optimize my site, it Helps me look at my sales trends, it updates my product skills. All the stuff I'm absolutely not an expert in. But it's like having a genius business partner that never sleeps. And right now, the brown girl grinding storefront is. And the Black Effect storefront is busy and Shopify is handling all of the heavy lifting. I love that for us. I am pumped, like, so pumped that Shopify is going to show up at the Black Effect Podcast Festival this year in a big way. And I will be there preaching this platform to all of the small black owned businesses that partner with us. So if you've been sitting on an idea or if you're ready to scale, which you've already started, this is your sign. Go to shopify.com b e n if I can do it, you can do it too, right? Well, I mean, speaking of the bae, the family, and all of the news, so Taylor recently became a mom. Baby Patrick Jr. It's how old now? Like nine months. Nine months? I was gonna say eight. I wasn't too far off.

Taylor Made (19:16)

Yeah.

Lauren LaRosa (19:17)

So I saw this post with Serena Williams that I wanted to do here in the podcast, but I'm like, this isn't something I could do by myself because I'm not a parent yet, but I do have some feelings. So Serena Williams got on X and she has her daughter with her husband, Alexis, and she said, I told my daughter to go to bed. She did not. Therefore, she missed out on her sleepover. She cried. But what she did not know is I cry harder. I hate when she cries. And she put a broken heart emoji. Discipline sucks. But sometimes it's important.

Taylor Made (19:49)

Yeah, it's true. I mean, my son's not there yet. I don't know how old her. Her daughter is.

Lauren LaRosa (19:54)

Let me look it up.

Taylor Made (19:56)

But I don't know, though. It depends what I'm disciplining. Like, for me to cry, get they're sad or whatever.

Lauren LaRosa (20:05)

It will have to.

Taylor Made (20:06)

It will have to depend on something. Because if there's something they did, I'm mad. And I don't care about your feelings. Like, go to bed crying. Doesn't matter.

Lauren LaRosa (20:15)

Serena has two daughters, but I believe she's talking about her youngest. Yeah.

Taylor Made (20:20)

Oh, when did that happen? It was just one.

Lauren LaRosa (20:24)

I thought it was one too, for some. Why do I. Why do I only remember? I feel like. Because we. I feel like her first daughter, who's now 8 years old. We were. We were so heavily invested because it was like, oh, my God, Serena Williams is having a baby.

AT&T Advertiser (20:37)

Yeah.

Lauren LaRosa (20:38)

But. Yeah, so her first daughter is 8 years old. That is Olympia. And then her younger daughter, our Dara Adira, was born in August of 2023. She is two years old. So from the that they put on this blog, it's a photo of her and her younger daughter. So I'm assuming she's talking about a younger daughter, but both of them are young. I. So here's my thought. And I see Little Mo Singer Little Mo in the comments of this post. They posted this over at neighbor. They posted this over on Hollywood Unlocked. So in the comments of the post on Hollywood Unlocks Instagram, Little Mo says, girl, you from Compton. Since when you start crying over discipline? Knock it off. Y' all still black. Tell that baby go to bed and get some rest. And you go lay down, too.

Taylor Made (21:27)

I.

Lauren LaRosa (21:27)

So my. My first instinct when I read it, I'm like, Serena Williams got soft on us. Like, what you crying? Cause she can't make her sleepover. And then I was like, wait, I

Taylor Made (21:39)

don't get it, though. Why she couldn't make her sleepover because she didn't go to bed.

Lauren LaRosa (21:42)

I think that was her punishment. That's what I figured. Okay, so she says, I told my daughter to go to bed. She did not. Therefore, she missed out on her sleepover. So. And so she punished, like, basically for not listening to. She didn't allow her to go to the sleepover. Yeah, right. And when I read little Most comment, I'm like, that was kind of my first thought because I'm like, listen, my old school before Serena Williams is 44 years old. My mom, my aunts, my. Even my older cousins. Like, I have older cousins that. Because my mom's a lot older than Serena. But my older cousins, who I call aunt, they're like Serena Williams age. So, like, 45, 46, 50. They still whipping some behind, I'm sure, because they still come from that generation. I feel like our generation of parent independent, because I know envy and Charlemagne. Like, I've heard people talk about, like, not beating their kid, but I feel like our generation of kid, I mean, our generation of parent, they don't. They. We don't put our hands on our kids. Like, yeah, they. And that's what little more want Serena to get busy.

Taylor Made (22:44)

I'm gonna be honest with you. I'm gonna get busy with my son. Well, I'm gonna let the father handle that more so when he's out of line.

Lauren LaRosa (22:52)

But I don't even know if I. I tried it. I tried to raise my voice at my niece one time, and I couldn't I couldn't find myself to do it.

Taylor Made (22:58)

I. And but that's the thing though with my, my parents, like I was a, like, yell at me, I'm gonna start crying. Like I did not like being yelled at once. They did that to me. They got me like, right.

Lauren LaRosa (23:11)

No, I was the drama. Like, I feel like me and my mom gave my brother a run for her in our life. Like I think when I was younger I was a little bit more mischievous just in the household, but I was always the one that was good outside. So like school stuff. Like my mom never really ever had to come to the school and all that. My brother, yes. Complete opposite. What people didn't even believe we went to the same high school. I remember people always used to be like, it's no way I grew up in the same household. Cuz he was just so different than me. My mom would be at the school all the time. His dad would have to come to school all the time. And you know, my mom, I got, we got beatings like up until a certain age where like she couldn't anymore. But here's an example. I was watching the Michael Jackson movie and in the movie there's a scene where Michael Jackson gets beat with a belt. And I remember in my mind I was like, dang, I haven't heard nobody talk about beating her kid with a belt in so long. Like it's just not a normal thing anymore. But when I was young that was so normal. Yeah. And then I was thinking about how I felt watching it. I felt like, oh my God, no, stop hitting him. Just a little. Baby, why are you hitting him? But when I was growing up, it was so normal. So now that I think the times have changed. It's not about she don't know she's black. The times have just changed. Like we've been conditioned a lot differently now and been and been allowed to because I mean Serena Williams is a very much softer life and of course so do her daughters.

Taylor Made (24:34)

Like, but I think when it comes to certain, like I know for my cousin, like she would just ended up taking stuff away from her son and would see that that would, that would hurt him a lot more than a beating in a sense. Like my mom, I remember she told me that when my brother was acting up in school, my mom went to all his classes and just stood in the back and that's like this embarrassment for him. So like finding other tactics to just like try me again. And I think that, I think that's helpful. I don't think being necessarily is always the right answer either.

Wheezy (25:10)

Yeah, but this is wheezy. WTF from decisions, decisions. You know, a lot of us grew up not fully trusting the healthcare system. And honestly, the system has given us plenty of reasons to feel that way. But now it's time for us to take control of the conversation, to take control of our sexual health. Learn the facts, ask questions, and advocate for ourselves. That's how we start changing the story. So let's talk. We like to think HIV is something that affects other people, but it is hitting our own community hard. Black women make up about 13% of women in the US but account for nearly half of all new HIV diagnoses around women. And being proactive doesn't mean you just don't trust your partner. It just means you trust yourself enough to stay in control. So know your options, ask questions, and protect your peace and your body. That's real power. Because protecting yourself isn't embarrassing. It's responsible. Sex is normal. Protecting yourself should be normal, too. Actually, it's kind of badass. Taking control of your sexual health is grown woman energy. Sponsored by Care for the Culture from Gilead Sciences.

Lauren LaRosa (26:20)

Hey, y', all, what's up? It's Lauren LaRosa. Okay, let's talk curls for a second because you already know if you have curly or coily hair. Moisture is not optional. It's essential. Dryness is one of the biggest challenges for curly hair and most products, they clock out after wash day. The new Ultra moisture collection was literally designed with our hair in mind. Curls, coils, all of it powered by botano oil and Jamaican black castor oil. Which means the science is actually doing the work. Clinically proven to help retain moisture for up to five days. Five whole days. The shampoo gently cleanses without stripping. The mask deeply conditions and helps reduce breakage. The leave in adds a lightweight hydration with hyaluronic acid. And the curl cream defines without crunch. No sulfates, no parabens, no silicones, no mineral oils. Just nourishment without the compromise. Because here's the thing. Your hair deserves products that actually understand it. Moisture that starts at the root and keeps going. Well past Sunday, that's the Ultra moisture collection from Cantu Explore their full line. Built for every curl pattern, every hair routine. Available now at Walmart, Target, and Amazon. Go get it.

Shopify Advertiser (27:30)

A lot of you ask how I actually run my business behind the scenes. And honestly, Shopify is the reason it exists. For me, Shopify is the place where I took this little idea I had and turned it into a Real business. It's the platform where I own everything. My store, my customers, my community. When I started my storefront, Shopify made it just so easy. With just a few clicks, I was ready to share my vision with the world. And the best part, Shopify literally gets my products everywhere. People Shop, Google, YouTube, TikTok, the Shop app, even ChatGPT. I still remember the first ever sale I made for my fashion brand Embellished. That little notification cha ching, cha ching, cha ching is music to my ears and Shopify made it all possible. I'm so pumped that Shopify is going to show up at our Black Effect Podcast festival this year in a big way for all of our small black owned businesses that partner with us. Plus shop pay, the purple button is a game changer. Fast one click checkout. If I don't see it when I'm shopping, I'm stressed. So I love knowing my customers get that same trusted experience. Build your store, own your audience and create something that lasts. Start now@shopify.com Ben if you're feeling off

Wheezy (28:45)

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Lauren LaRosa (29:09)

Visit innerbalance.com today to start feeling like yourself again. That's innerbalance.com I always think about like when I have kids and I'm excited to bring kids into a world that will be a bit softer and will allow them to be a kid.

Taylor Made (29:25)

That's the thing too.

Lauren LaRosa (29:26)

Yeah, my mom did a really good job of no matter what the circumstance was. Like I had a great childhood, like even great high school, all of that. Even when we were dealing with things, my mom made sure we had a really great upbringing. Surrounded by family. Love all of that. But I still got to see like, okay, I bet I gotta work because my mom needs some help. Yeah, I'm growing up in the city for real. You know what I mean? Like we always were lucky we didn't have to move houses. My mom owned her house. But I like I remember being young and having friends who moved houses like a lot within a year and it was because their mom was trying to figure out affording things. And I used to always ask my mom, why don't we get the move? I want to move because you know, like as A kid, you're like, oh, my God, a new house. And now that I'm grown, I'm like, oh, no. My mom provided a sense of stability for me when a lot of moms who were in our neighborhood couldn't figure that out, and she was doing it by herself. So I just think about what my child's upbringing is going to be like and how different it'll be, even though mine was great than mine. But I also just want to make sure my child is, like, aware of what's real and what's really happening in the world. I see sometimes with kids in our generation raising kids, and I have friends that are raising them, and I'm like, these kids are growing up in, like, delusion. And it's beautiful on one instance to see a black kid, you know, have a soft life and, you know, all of that. And I love to see it. But then, on the other hand, it makes me worry. I'm like, when these kids get in the world for real, like, anything gonna break them.

Taylor Made (30:54)

Yeah. Well, I would say, like, so for how my parents raised me. Like, I was raised in the suburbs, but my dad always made the point, like, for me to also visit my cousins that were also somewhat in the hood, like, just so I could get different.

Lauren LaRosa (31:11)

Yeah.

Taylor Made (31:11)

Backgrounds and understanding of.

Lauren LaRosa (31:13)

I used to be the cousin that was in the hood. But we had a good. We had a good career. We had a good setup. But, like, I remember some of my cousins not even being allowed to spend a night at my house just because their moms didn't like them being in the city. Like, you know what I mean? Yeah. And then going to their house, and even though they didn't live in the biggest houses and, like, they. Their moms weren't rich. They just didn't live in the city. So it was. It was a little different. Yeah.

Taylor Made (31:32)

But I don't. I would say, like, I will from. With Philly versus the suburbs.

Lauren LaRosa (31:39)

Yes. Yeah. I mean, it's kind of like that with. With. If you're from Delaware. Anybody listening? It's like, Wilmington, where I grew up, would be, like, living in Philly. And certain parts is, like. It's like. So I would say certain parts are like, how y' all got North Philly, South Philly, West Philly. So certain parts of the city that, like, you can find okay neighborhoods, okay blocks, but then in certain parts, where you, like, yo, like, in the block that I grew up on, so it's a cross street. The cross street was cool because it always led to the highway so the businesses is there, the bigger homes are there. That's where I lived at the. The street going the other side of my house. That's where, you know, everybody was on to come hang out. You didn't want to be down there. They were shooting, like, you know, like. So I. It's weird. Like, I had such a dual upbringing in my grandmother, like, her block. You don't want to be over there still to this day. I'll be like, my grandma loves sitting on her porch. I'd be like, my mom, it's the summertime. It's too much going on out here. But everybody in the neighborhood, nowhere. You know what I mean? But, like, so I, I really. And then outside of my home upbringing, I had again, a lot of family. So I'm going to visit them and they're living in the suburbs. My mom is sending us, you know, to my. I had family living in LA at one point. We got to go there for the summer. Like, my mom made sure we got the experience of everything, and she was very real and very honest with us, and she disciplined us in a way where it was like you understood consequence, you know, Even though I tr. We tried it, we tried my mom, like, when we got older, we tried it, but I just, I don't know. When I see things like what Serena Williams is posting, it's like I feel for her. And I'm not nowhere near as successful as her, so I can't imagine the bubble she herself lives in now. Right. And then you're raising kids in that. But I also. It's like, I'm always trying to figure out from my parent friends. That's why I'm glad you're here on this, the show today. Like, what is that balance and how do you realistically have that balance? Because even if you're not a celebrity. Right. I have friends that are just doing well for themselves in jobs outside of entertainment.

Taylor Made (33:35)

Yeah.

Lauren LaRosa (33:36)

And their children are living different lives than they grew up in. How do you keep the balance?

Taylor Made (33:41)

I think it's always to have a conversation and showing them too, though, like I said, like, with my dad, he made sure to, like, just show me different. I don't, I don't want to say it like that, but, like, I will visit my cousins and they, they lived. I don't say lived, different life. But their surroundings weren't my surroundings in a sense. Right. Like, I grew up in all white schools, all that stuff. But I hung around my cousins enough to get. I feel like a little. A little spunk if anything, or just like, I don't know, Like. But when it comes to discipline, though,

Lauren LaRosa (34:21)

I don't think my.

Taylor Made (34:23)

Well, my dad says that I didn't get disciplined enough because I could be broke sometimes.

Lauren LaRosa (34:27)

Yeah, that's fine. I think you're so well behaved. But you might act different around your mommy and dad, though. You spoil is what he said.

Taylor Made (34:33)

I was spoiled. Yeah, I was spoiled, too.

Lauren LaRosa (34:35)

I feel like me and my brother, even though my brother will argue you so different. Like, I feel like we were spoiled too.

Taylor Made (34:40)

I remember one time I was supposed to, like, she wanted me to fold laundry, and I think I was just stressed out over something as I'm throwing the clothes and I got grounded and that was it. Like, I didn't.

Lauren LaRosa (34:55)

They just.

Taylor Made (34:56)

I just couldn't go anywhere.

Lauren LaRosa (34:57)

Now you. I. I was a bit much. Like, it was when I got a car, got a little boyfriend, started feeling myself. Like me and my mom used to have it out. Like, I was. I was. I was disrespectful. Like, it was bad. Like, really? Yes, me.

Taylor Made (35:10)

I'm gonna hear you're disrespectful because I got caught. I snuck out the house and I did. My parents took my phone away. Like, I couldn't have my phone, like, at night time, but I had it, like, during the day going to school, but I couldn't go nowhere. And they just were trying to keep as much tabs on me as possible. But I was 17 at that time too, though, so I was about to be on my way to college.

Lauren LaRosa (35:35)

So it was around that time for me too. It was like 16, 17. Like, me and my mom just weren't seeing eye to eye.

Taylor Made (35:42)

Me too.

Lauren LaRosa (35:42)

I also do, though. You know what I. What I always think about with, like, moms, especially, like, black women and their moms. My mom really didn't know how to be a mom a little. Like, she was a great mom, but. Because I'm not gonna say she didn't know how to be a mom, but she went through a lot of. And still has a lot of trauma from her relationship with her mom. And I feel like because of that, I feel like I got the brunt of that a lot of times from my mom, like, in the way that she would speak to me, the way that she would react to certain things. It's like, on one end she was super loving, great mom, but on the other end, it's like she didn't know how to be a mother without the chaos and without inflicting certain things that I used to Always be like, that's not needed. And the older I got and the more I was doing on my own, I was like, I'm not taking this. So that's where we bumped heads at a lot. And. But I was in it, and it got, you know, a bit dislike. We used to argue, like, two people that didn't know each other on the street. Like, it was bad. Like, it was. It was very disrespectful. And I. When I went to college, not even, like, my first year. I think it was maybe toward the end of my first year, my second year of college, I remember just something just flipped for me, and I. It just made me appreciate my mom so much. Like, even grows fonder. Yeah. Like, even though me and my grandmother have always been close, me and my grandma have always been friends. And I feel like my grandmother treated me like how she should have treated my mom. So how she parented me was what my mom didn't get. So I got the back end of that from my mom, but my grandmother made up for that because she came in and. And was trying to, like, make up for what she didn't do with my mom. Gotcha. But, yeah, when I got to college, it flipped. And it was still not the best, but it flipped. But when my mom went through, like, her cancer journey, and like, we spent. I think that was probably, like, in my adult life, the most amount of time we spent together. Because I'm not, you know, in your adult life. You don't realize it, but, like, you working, you live in your own life. Y' all spend the time together as family, but it's not the same. Yeah. During that year, I was like. It was just me and her. So that made it to a point where, like, I kind of understood her a little bit different. I think I got to really see my mom as, like, a person.

Taylor Made (37:42)

Yeah.

Lauren LaRosa (37:43)

For the first time, versus my mom.

Taylor Made (37:45)

I'm seeing that now with my mom. Like.

Lauren LaRosa (37:47)

Well, I always saw it.

Taylor Made (37:48)

Like, my mom definitely was always a mom to me. Like, she never was, like, one of my little friends.

Lauren LaRosa (37:55)

Nothing like that.

Wheezy (37:56)

She

Taylor Made (37:59)

Even still now. I think my mom, though, has a hard time just talking to me and relating to me. In a sense. I have to get her, like, drunk to, like, really chill out.

Lauren LaRosa (38:13)

See my mind. I'll drink. My mom. My brother are smokers. My mom don't drink.

Taylor Made (38:16)

My mom. But my mom could be so. But she could just be tense sometimes, like, where she just needs to relax.

Lauren LaRosa (38:21)

Yeah.

Taylor Made (38:23)

But, you know, it's a work in progress. Me and My mom are much better than, like, you were saying, like, in high school, me and her, like, my mom still looks as a rebellious child because I have an older.

Lauren LaRosa (38:34)

I have an older daughter. I feel like my brother is older daughter. Oh, you're the youngest.

Taylor Made (38:37)

I'm the youngest.

Lauren LaRosa (38:38)

Yeah. Yeah.

Taylor Made (38:38)

Okay.

Lauren LaRosa (38:39)

Yeah, the youngest. Always get that. I feel like my brother got that. I'm not the rebellious. I think I'm the one that kind of. I mean, like, I'm the one that, like, my mom. I mean, my mom. My mom calls my brother for a lot, too. I would say, like, I'm the. I'm the one that, like, even though I didn't do everything right, I'm the one that did everything right. You know what I mean? Like, I went to college, like, all that stuff. My brother gets to, like, rebellious, do things his own way. But I will say, like, one of the things that I appreciated. Appreciate about the fact that, like, me and my brother are very opposite people is that I. When things get really, really crazy, he is so much better at, like, just keeping his cool and knowing it's gonna work out and kind of being that type of strength. Yeah. I'm the type of shrimp where, like, I'm a freak out, but, like, I' ma figure it out.

Taylor Made (39:19)

Yeah.

Lauren LaRosa (39:20)

He might not figure it out all the way through, but he knows it's gonna work out.

Taylor Made (39:23)

Yeah.

Lauren LaRosa (39:23)

So I've learned to, like, appreciate our opposites a lot, especially in crazy moments where, like, no one would understand but him. Like, when my mom was going through all that with her cancer journey, it was like we, Me and my brother kind of got a bit closer in that because no one understood what we were feeling but us, because it's our mom. You know what I mean? So that kind of changed the dynamic, and it made me appreciate how even though we used to find it, like, it used to be such an issue. Like, he'd be like, lauren spoiled and y' all care more about what she does and blah, blah. And I'll be like, they give you more leniency. They let you, like, what? My mom was charging me rent when I was staying in her house. You get to live there for free and all this. Like, I appreciate those differences. I feel like it raised us where, like, we gotta complete each other. So, like, I mean, she beat us the same, though.

Taylor Made (40:11)

I think if balance helps, like, even when it comes to just my mom and dad, like, my dad's a way more chilled. Chilled partner than my mom is. Like, like, she's learned. I. I feel like, to. To calm herself.

Lauren LaRosa (40:26)

Yeah.

Taylor Made (40:27)

Just from experiences with stuff. But, like. Like, when my grandma was, you know, saying her last goodbyes, my mom was super calm. Like, then what? And I guess so she prepared herself for it. And, you know, it was coming eventually, but I was. I thought it was gonna be because her. My grandma and her were, like, close. Close.

Lauren LaRosa (40:50)

Yeah.

Taylor Made (40:51)

So I know it's still her piece for her, but she told me, like, she still feels. Pete, she feels peace because she knew she did all she can to have her last years.

Lauren LaRosa (41:00)

Like, that's how I felt about my mom. And I thank God that she's still here. But I had to get myself to a point where I was like, you know, as long as. God, I know I did everything I could to have her, give her a fighting chance. Right. It's so weird how the roles reversed in that time of, like, me taking care of her and just making sure she had everything she needed to do. Well, yeah. That's kind of like how your parents are. It's like, you know, whether they're disciplining you or whatever, like, they're giving you everything you need to do well, because once you get out in the world, it's nothing they can do. I feel like, you know, when my mom was going through her cancer journey, I'm like, look, I'm gonna use all the resources I have. I'm gonna use social media to get information I need and get help. I'm everything and whatever I can do. And I do the same with my grandmother, too. Like, it's like, I just want y' all to have everything that you need so that you can live this life. And they still be wanting to make things hard. I'd be like, yo, I will buy your groceries every month, instacart it right to your door. I want to go grocery shop. Why?

Taylor Made (41:55)

Because it's their normalcy. Like, it's their normalcy.

Lauren LaRosa (41:59)

They want to go grocery shop to talk to random people. Now I'm on nervous. They letting people bring their groceries and stay home.

Taylor Made (42:06)

But you have to remember, too, though, like you said, the roads are reversed. But they had a life when he was a baby. Like, so they just want to relive that.

Lauren LaRosa (42:15)

Yeah, I get it. Well, thank you for joining me, Taylor. Wait.

Taylor Made (42:19)

We didn't. The. The more the story is with discipline is.

Lauren LaRosa (42:23)

I think it's to each his own.

Taylor Made (42:24)

Yeah.

Lauren LaRosa (42:25)

And I think. I think it's to each his own. Every household is different, but I do think you do have to have a level of, like, sternness with a child because I think they got to know that there's a line but there should be a converse.

Taylor Made (42:36)

I think I feel like the older generation forgot about it too. About like just knowing their child's feelings too, though. Like know why they felt this way or did that or like have that try to have a conversation with them, know why they were are getting punished and everything else. Like.

Lauren LaRosa (42:54)

Yeah, I agree. I agree. Well, thank you for joining me.

Taylor Made (42:59)

Grow, of course.

Lauren LaRosa (43:00)

Yes. And y', all, thanks for tuning in again. I want you guys to remember I'm running a code right now on the Brown Girl Grinding website, which is where I drop all of my merch. And it's unisex for guys and for the girl lowriders. If you put in code BG Love L O V E at checkout, you'll get a surprise discount off because y' all are tuned in and right here with me, my lowriders. I tell you, every single episode, y' all could be anywhere with any old body talking about all of the things. But you guys choose to be right here with me. I appreciate you and I'll catch you in my next episode.

Wheezy (43:36)

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Lauren LaRosa (44:47)

This is Angela Yee from Angela Yee's Lip Service. Every day, Planned Parenthood health centers across the country open their doors and provide high quality, expert healthcare. That's no simple task when lawmakers are trying to block access to life saving care like birth control, cancer screenings, STI testing, abortion and more at Planned Parenthood, Care continues because they believe your body is your business and being able to control your own body. That's the most basic freedom there is. So Planned Parenthood won't back down. Visit I'mforpp.org to learn more and get involved. Hey y', all, it's Lauren LaRosa. Have you ever had one of those weeks where your curls are just parched? Like no matter what you do, they are begging for moisture? Cantu heard you loud and clear with their new Ultra Moisture Collection. Powered by botanical and Jamaican Black Castor oil, this new line is clinically proven to help retain moisture for up to 5 days. Delivers up to 5 days of non stop hydration. 5 whole days y'. All. The shampoo gently cleanses without stripping and the leave in and stylers keep curls soft, defined and hydrated long after your wash day. Plus it's free of sulfates, parabens, silicones and mineral oils. If your curls have been craving real hydration, then this is it. So if your hair's curls have been so thirsty, go ahead and try that new Cantu Ultra Moisture Collection. Your curls will thank you you. It's available now at Walmart, Target and Amazon. So go get it. This is an I Heart podcast. Guaranteed human.