INTERVIEW: Dr. Alfiee On Creating Safe Spaces For Mental Health Conversations, Youth Outreach + More

Summary

The Breakfast Club

INTERVIEW: Dr. Alfiee On Creating Safe Spaces For Mental Health Conversations, Youth Outreach + More

Date: October 15, 2025
Hosts: Charlamagne Tha God, Jess Hilarious (DJ Envy out)
Guest: Dr. Alfiee Breland-Noble

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Episode Overview

This episode centers on mental health in the Black community, the importance of safe spaces, and empowering youth to engage in open conversations about mental health. Dr. Alfiee Breland-Noble, psychologist and founder of the Akoma Project and Mental Wealth Alliance, discusses her experiences at the fifth annual Mental Wealth Expo, the unique challenges facing communities of color, and research findings from the "State of Mental Health for Youth and Young Adults 2025." The conversation touches on the underfunding of mental health initiatives, tools for managing digital well-being, and practical advice for supporting youth and families.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Recapping the Mental Wealth Expo

Main Points:

• Dr. Alfiee and Charlamagne Tha God reflect on the fifth annual Mental Wealth Expo held in Newark at the New Jersey Institute of Technology.
• Dr. Alfiee praises the Newark audience:
  • "They were like...locked in, and they were paying attention, and they were responsive, and they were just so kind...I love that we were in Newark..." (02:43)
• Deontay Wilder's openness at the Expo impacted attendees by modeling vulnerability, especially for men.
  • "For him to open up and...talk about...how hurt and betrayed, you know, he's felt...that allowed a lot of people to let their guard down.” – Charlamagne (05:06)

Notable Quote:
"What I learned was that there's so much need out there...the main thing I learned was that Black people actually do want healing." – Dr. Alfiee (03:06)

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2. The Importance of Safe Spaces & Community Support

Main Points:

• Safe spaces like the Expo are vital for Black people to experience joy, be informed, and share openly.
• Vulnerability, especially among successful public figures, is still stigmatized and misunderstood.
• The conversation acknowledges the difficulty public figures face when family or friends place excessive expectations on them, sometimes preventing them from enjoying their success.
• Jess Hilarious discusses the responsibility and loneliness that comes with "having a lot," noting:
  • “All people like Deontay and myself...want is just call me and ask how I’m doing…cause I’m not always okay.” (07:12)

Memorable Moment:

• Dr. Alfiee highlights the generational expectation that Black women carry the world on their back and the need to “put that down and be vulnerable.” (07:44)

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3. Understanding Grief Beyond Death

Main Points:

• Charlamagne references Kamala Harris stating that losing the election brought a grief similar to losing her mother.
• Dr. Alfiee explains grief as processing any loss (“Grief is really just processing loss. Loss can be anything—relationship, love, opportunity.”) (09:29)
• Highlights social media criticism for expressions of "non-traditional" grief.

Notable Quote:
"That’s what grief is. It is processing and making sense of what did I lose and how did I lose it, and what am I going to fill that space in my heart with now..." – Dr. Alfiee (10:50)

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4. Mental Health Funding and Access

Main Points:

• Multiple events happened for World Mental Health Day, yet Dr. Alfiee stresses there’s still major underfunding.
• Black and brown communities lack sufficient providers who “look like us.”
• Facilities for in-patient youth mental health care are severely insufficient, and special education is increasingly underfunded.

Notable Quote:
"You have too many people out there who don’t have access to care. And what people will always argue is that it’s money. Some of it is money, but some of it is we don’t have enough providers who look like us..." – Dr. Alfiee (11:51)

• Only 1.5–2% of nonprofit money goes to youth and adolescent mental health, due to ongoing stigma.

Actionable Steps:

• Encourage listeners to redirect small spending (even just $5 per week) to organizations like the Mental Wealth Alliance.
• Community advocacy is critical—writing local and federal representatives is essential for change. (17:31)

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5. The State of Mental Health for Youth and Young Adults 2025

Main Points:

• Dr. Alfiee discusses her latest research canvassing nearly 9,000 young people, especially young people of color, on mental health status.
• Key findings:
  • Many youth turn to friends or family—not professionals—as their main supports.
  • Over 50% of surveyed youths reported moderate to severe symptoms of depression or anxiety.
  • Racial trauma remains a major issue for youth of color.
  • The research is intentionally written in plain language and provides demographic breakdowns.

Notable Quote:
"Every young person deserves to feel seen, heard, and valued...If we don’t ask, we don’t know. If we don’t know, we can’t find solutions." – Dr. Alfiee (19:56)

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6. Youth and the Loneliness Epidemic

Main Points:

• Contrary to appearances, technology is creating an “illusion of connection.”
  • "You got all these meaningless connections with people. That's what it is. It is the illusion of connection." – Charlamagne (23:06)
• The pandemic cost young people opportunities to develop in-person social skills.
• Social media creates FOMO (fear of missing out) and inadequacy.
• Young people are “shrinking away” from social engagement due to lack of practice/confidence.

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7. Digital Wellness & Parenting in the Social Media Era

Main Points:

• Jess Hilarious reflects on the challenge of managing her son’s screen time.
• Dr. Alfiee commends parents for being active, not passive, in their children's digital lives.
• Tips from the hosts:
  • No screens during the week; limited use on weekends. (27:54)
  • “Brick” devices—new tech limits app access unless physically unlocked at home.

Memorable Exchange:
"You ever be scrolling and you like, all right, I'mma just—It'll be 4:44...you look up and it's 6 o'clock. You like, yo, I could have done so much in that hour." – Jess Hilarious (29:10)

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8. How to Support and Take Action

Main Points:

• Dr. Alfiee invites listeners to donate and access resources:
  • Mental Wealth Alliance
  • Akoma Project
• Reinforces the need for collective action:
  • “If each of us can do just a little bit...It takes all of us.” (18:53)

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Notable Quotes & Timestamps

• "Black people actually do want healing…there’s a real hunger and desire to get tools to help them with their mental health." – Dr. Alfiee (03:06)
• "For him to open up...that allowed a lot of people to let their guard down." – Charlamagne on Deontay Wilder (05:06)
• "All people like Deontay and myself...want is just call me and ask how I’m doing…cause I’m not always okay." – Jess Hilarious (07:12)
• "Grief is just your way of expressing all the love that you have for someone that you didn’t get to express when they were alive..." – Dr. Alfiee (09:29)
• "It is the illusion of connection." – Charlamagne (23:06)
• "I'm not a big TikTok fan but you know, I can do something other than sit here and stare at this phone and scroll all day." – Dr. Alfiee (29:34)
• "Every young person deserves to feel seen, heard, and valued." – Dr. Alfiee (19:56)
• "If we don’t ask, we don’t know. If we don’t know, we can’t find solutions." – Dr. Alfiee (19:56)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Segment | Time | |---------|-----------| | Expo Recap, Newark’s Energy | 02:34–04:43 | | On Deontay Wilder’s Vulnerability | 04:37–06:50 | | The Need for Safe Spaces | 04:37–07:44 | | Grief Beyond Death – Kamala Harris Reference | 09:05–11:23 | | Mental Health Funding, Access & Advocacy | 11:23–19:49 | | State of Youth Mental Health Report | 19:49–22:52 | | The Loneliness Epidemic & FOMO | 22:52–26:11 | | Parenting & Digital Boundaries | 26:11–29:55 | | Where to Support/Donate | 29:55–30:38 |

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Takeaways

• The Black community is actively seeking healing and resources for mental wellness.
• Safe spaces and public vulnerability are keys to breaking down stigma.
• Youth mental health is under-addressed and underfunded; peer networks, not professionals, are often the primary source of support.
• Digital life can increase loneliness; active parenting and digital boundaries are essential.
• Everyone can contribute to change, whether through donations, advocacy, or sharing knowledge.

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Support & Resources:

• Mental Wealth Alliance: mentalwealthalliance.org
• Akoma Project: akomaproject.org
• Follow Dr. Alfiee: @doctoralfiee on all social platforms

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This episode offers a compassionate, practical exploration of systemic gaps and community action in mental health, especially for youth of color. The tone is positive, solution-focused, and deeply empathetic.

Transcript

[Dr. Alfie Bree Land Noble]

This is an I Heart podcast.

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[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yes, it's the world's most dangerous morning show. The Breakfast Club Charlamagne Tha God Jess Hilarious. DJ Envy is out today, but we have a special guest, my partner, Dr. Alfie Bree Land Noble Good morning Dr. Alfie.

[Dr. Alfie Bree Land Noble]

Good morning. How you doing?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

How you feeling?

[Dr. Alfie Bree Land Noble]

I'm good I'm good. I'm here with y'. All. Good. What could be better?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Absolutely. We just had another successful mental wealth Expo.

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Yes.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

It was the fifth annual, right?

[Dr. Alfie Bree Land Noble]

Fifth annual. It was awesome. It was such a wonderful. I'm gonna tell you this. Newark.

[Jess Hilarious]

I love Newark.

[Dr. Alfie Bree Land Noble]

That audience, girl, the energy. They were like. Like locked in, and they were paying attention, and they were responsive, and they were just so kind. And so I love that we were in Newark and that we went there this year. The venue was fantastic. New Jersey Institute of Technology, everybody there was really cool. So it was fantastic. Yeah.

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What are.

[Jess Hilarious]

What are some of the things that you took away? Like, did. Did people open up to you about certain things?

[Dr. Alfie Bree Land Noble]

They always do. Like, I end up with, like, a line of people because I think people be trying to get free therapy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think what I learned was that there's so much need out there, and I Lear. My son was on stage at one point. I learned a lot from Jason Wilson. I learned a lot from a lot of the different people who were on stage. But I think the main thing I learned was that black people actually do want healing. Right. People act like we just out here wiling, and, like, we don't care about our mental health, and we don't care to take care of ourselves, but we do, like, you know, and everybody's not on this hustle, grind, push through, you know, at all cost type of culture. So what I feel like I've saw in people was a real hunger and desire to get tools to help them with their mental health. I also learned. I mean, I knew this, but the people love Charlemagne. Yeah. And they really appreciate and respect what he's trying to do with putting these resources out into the community and talking about his own mental health. And I think the final thing I learned is. Or that was just reinforced for me was how loving black people are. We are some loving, welcoming people. And I just felt so much positive energy at that event. Met so many wonderful people whom I hadn't met before, whom I admired from afar. And I have to say this. Deontay Wilder is the nicest. That brother is a sweetheart. He was just a doll. And so it was really wonderful to be able to be in that space and have people come donate their time to us and take care of the people. And again, the Newark folks shouts out to Newark, because those are some good people.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah, I love Newark, man. You know, my father lived in Newark for many, many, many years. Oh, yeah. I got a lot of family in Newark. Salute to all the Kelvies in Newark. But the interesting thing about Deontay. Well, two things. I feel like the Mental Health Expo is a safe space, right? And I think it's more important now than ever for black people to create spaces where we can feel safe, where we can, you know, experience joy and where we can be informed. And, man, when you see Deontay Wilder sit on that stage and open up like, this is the former heavyweight champion of the world. Literally knocks people out for a living. For him to open up and, you know, talk about, you know, his experiences and the things that he's been through and, you know, how hurt and betrayed, you know, he's felt throughout his life and how vulnerable he's. How vulnerable he was. That was, man, that. That led a lot of people. That allowed a lot of people to let their God down.

[Dr. Alfie Bree Land Noble]

I think so. And I, you know, I. I was just so shocked by how open and transparent he was about who's hurt him in his life. I heard him talk about people who were close to him and his family. And, you know, you can see the pain in his eyes about, like, having to walk through that terrain and kind of figure that stuff out. And he's not alone, right? Because I look at you all and what you've been able to achieve in your lives, and I would never speculate, but I can only imagine how difficult it would be to have the people who are closest to you. You know, people got their hands out. You know, I understand. You know, some folks are struggling, but, like, people don't sometimes give their loved ones the opportunity to sort of own their power and be in their space without wanting something. I'm not saying people always do that, but I would imagine that what you really want. Just be happy for me. You know what I'm saying? Like, be happy for me and support me and lift me up and don't ask me for a whole bunch of stuff. I mean, I get it. People need help. And I think people like Deontay will probably are very open to helping folks. But it's just the idea that some folks don't get the opportunity to enjoy what they built because they're struggling with these things, sort of pulling it, you know what I mean? And that duality is it's gotta be hard. So I just really appreciate how transparent he was so people can understand. Like, I've heard Mary J. Blige say this. Just because we have a lot. You know what I mean, doesn't mean that we don't have struggles. And he was able to Share that with people.

[Jess Hilarious]

And it's big responsibility that come with having a lot. You know what I mean? Like, I don't live the same as I used to. You know, I have more kids than I used to. You know, I have a whole, whole nother life, you know, that I'm working towards building. And then a lot of times, all people like Deontay and myself, you know, I guess, you know, will want is just call me and ask how I'm doing.

[Dr. Alfie Bree Land Noble]

Yep.

[Jess Hilarious]

Cause I'm not always okay.

[Dr. Alfie Bree Land Noble]

Yep.

[Jess Hilarious]

You know what I mean? And although, you know, I don't trust people enough to just open up also, I don't really have a lot of people that's like, oh, you good?

[Dr. Alfie Bree Land Noble]

Yep. You all right?

[Jess Hilarious]

Oh, you look down today. What's up? Like, you know, like, that matters.

[Dr. Alfie Bree Land Noble]

Yes.

[Jess Hilarious]

And so when you say it reminded you Saturday that black people are the most loving people. We are.

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We really are.

[Jess Hilarious]

And a lot of times we stand in our own way of that too.

[Dr. Alfie Bree Land Noble]

Yeah, that's such a good point. Like, I love that you said sometimes you just want somebody to check on you.

[Jess Hilarious]

Yeah.

[Dr. Alfie Bree Land Noble]

It can't always be that people like you all are out here in the public eye and. And everybody's eyes are focused on you. And the assumption is that you don't struggle or that you don't have things that you worry about. You know what I mean? Or you don't have things that you're trying to work through. And so the idea, particularly for us as sisters, the idea that we, like, are the backbone. I feel like Atlas, I was a classics minor in undergrad at Howard. Like, we got the world on our backs, and we just kind of bent over, and we're not. You know what I mean? And I think what that feeds is this notion that we're not allowed to put stuff down and be vulnerable, allow ourselves to rest. Shouts out to the sister at the nap ministry where she talks about rest is resistance. And so I love that you brought up this point of taking care of yourself. You didn't say it in this way, but part of how you take care of yourself is you look for those spaces and look for those people who gonna check in on you. Yeah. That's where you get to, like, let your hair down a little bit. That's where you get to not be just with the mess. And my news is real. I told you I was a fan.

[Jess Hilarious]

Thank you.

[Dr. Alfie Bree Land Noble]

You get to put that down like, you deserve to put that down too. And I love watching you and your little boy, the oldest one on Socials. And it just tickles me because he's delightful and he's adorable. Thank you. But he needs to see Mommy have some rest and peace, too, because that teaches him how to treat the women in his life as he grows up. Thank you. Yeah, yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You know, you mentioned how recently Kamala Harris said losing the election caused her to grieve in a way that was similar to the way she grieved the loss of her mother. Can you speak to what that might have meant from a clinical perspective? Because people act like they hear, like, what you mean, like losing the election felt like your mother dying, like, as if the two couldn't both be, you know.

[Dr. Alfie Bree Land Noble]

Yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Impactful to cause that level of grief.

[Dr. Alfie Bree Land Noble]

Yeah. I. When I think about grief, you know, people have different theories. There are seven stages of grief. There's five stages of grief. Grief is really just our way. I heard. And the actor, I think his name was Andrew Garfield, play Spider man, say once that grief is just your way of expressing all the love that you have for someone that you didn't get to express when they were alive. And I was like, oh, that's like. Hurt hit me in the heart. And I think the idea of grief is really just processing loss. Right. Loss is not just a human. Loss can be anything. Loss can be a relationship. Loss can be, you know, losing a love. When I lost my mom, actually 19 years ago, about a month ago, it was 19 years, and my sorority sister and my fellow hu. Bison, one day I'm gonna meet that sister. I love big sister, General Kamala Harris. And I think if you think about what she put into 107 days, right. When you think about what she had to endure, the things that she was not allowed to say, the ways in which she was not permitted to be her full self because she was running for office, you know, I think when you think about carrying all of that, that is heavy. And to go through all of that at the highest level on an international stage with all these eyes on you, and then to lose to who she lost to and the way that she lost, we're just going to keep it real. That's heavy, and that's hard. And so I can actually understand her grieving that because that's the chapter of her life that she was thrust into, that maybe she wasn't expecting, and she has to put that down. And so anytime you have to put something down like that, we should anticipate that, that separation, that that void is going to be there. And that's what grief is. It is processing and making sense of what did I lose and how did I lose it, and what am I going to fill that space in my heart with now that that is gone? So it makes total sense to me that she would say that.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

What mental health. What do you think? Oh, do you think mental health initiatives are being adequately funded? Because I noticed this weekend, you know, we had the Mental Welf Expo, but I saw like, you know, two or three other events going on. I know Taraji P. Henson had her event. And that's great because, you know, it was World Mental Health Day Friday. Taraji Peterson had an event going on. And what was the other ones you went to?

[Dr. Alfie Bree Land Noble]

Project Healthy Minds had an event and I was at with Kate Spade for World Mental Health Day, Women's Mental Health.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Which I think is great that all of these different events are happening. But do you think mental health initiatives are being adequately funded?

[Dr. Alfie Bree Land Noble]

No, absolutely not. Because you have too many people out there who don't have access to care. And what people will always argue is that it's money. Some of it is money, but some of it is we don't have enough providers who look like us, right? I'm talking about black folks right now, other people of color to allow people to look online or to get a recommendation and, and to know instantly that they're gonna sit down with somebody who gets them. Right? So we're not funded in terms of providers. We're not, you know, Char, I'm always talking about the research. We don't have near enough money to do the research that needs to be done. You know, we just don't have enough facilities to take people in. When I think about inpatient facilities for people who really need care, even if it's short term care or long term care, there are not enough facilities around. And then when you think about, you know, one of the latest things is, is defunding of special education, right? And so those young people with behavioral health and educational needs, those young people are not gonna get what they need. So in so many ways, we don't have anywhere near enough funding going towards some of the most vulnerable populations. And when I say vulnerable, I'm not just talking about black folk. I'm not talking about race. I'm talking about different aspects, like having a disability, like having a mental illness, having a severe and persistent mental illness.

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[Morgan Wood]

Hate never did anybody any good. Hate is harmful to the hated and the hater alike. Hate is poison in the heart and mind and a horror to all of humankind. That's why hate must stop with us. Right now, our Jewish neighbors are facing an unprecedented wave of hate simply for existing. Families are being harassed, people are being attacked, synagogues are vandalized, homes destroyed simply because the people are who they are. People claim the hatred is justified, but no hatred against another ever really is.

[Dr. Alfie Bree Land Noble]

Why?

[Morgan Wood]

Because hate against one community spreads to other communities. And if it can happen to them, it can happen to us. It has happened to us and it has to stop. Black, Jewish, Latino, and Muslim, we must stand together against hate. We must say loud and clear that we will not let hate win. Don't be ignorant and indifference. Educate yourself and rise [e-mail] Today's episode.

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[Dr. Alfie Bree Land Noble]

It's like Cory Minor Smith always talks about loving someone who might have schizophrenia. I heard y' all earlier. Um, or you know, you heard it.

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I said it right?

[Dr. Alfie Bree Land Noble]

I said you said it right.

[Jess Hilarious]

I did not say or sis.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You said schizophrenia.

[Dr. Alfie Bree Land Noble]

You said it right. But you know, we don't have what we need to ensure. I also think about people who may have made a suicide attempt and have to be hospitalized, particularly young people. There are not enough beds to go around for those young folks to get what they need. So, no, we absolutely don't have adequate funding for mental health initiatives.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

So what should people do then? How do we get the money?

[Dr. Alfie Bree Land Noble]

I think. Well, one thing I think people have to do is people have to. People who have the means. Even if all you have is $5.05. You know, when I think about the Mental wealth alliance and what you set out to do with train, treat and teach, you want to get people the help that they need, but you can't do that if you don't have money, you don't have funding. So what I want people to do is to go to organizations like the Mental wealth alliance online, go to the website, go to the donate page, and give what you can. But it has to happen consistently. One thing we try to teach people is, you know, everybody loves coffee. I'm not gonna call no coffee company's name. Cause it's one that y' all like up here in New York. I don't like it, but I ain't gonna say nothing. Cause I don't want nobody to beat me up. But instead of having coffee, five days a week, skip one of them $5 coffees and take that money and donate it to an organization like the Mental Walter Lyons, who's putting in the work. I. I think it's also about advocacy. We have to have people out here who are writing to their, you know, representatives at the local, regional, state, and federal level and saying, we need you to invest in our young people, in older people, in our communities to support. And then the final thing is, you know, when I think about youth and adolescent mental health, only about one and a half to 2% of all funding that goes to everything in the nonprofit space goes to their mental health. Funding for mental health overall is a very small percentage of where money goes because of stigma. So I think part of it is with what we do at the Mental wealth alliance and similar organizations, the goal is to help people understand. I heard somebody say the other day, if you break your leg, you have diabetes. God forbid if you have, you know, hopefully it's a benign tumor. If you have something that's impacting you, you don't asked to wait, or you're not asked to wait to get that treated. It's the same thing with mental health. We shouldn't ask people to put off taking care of their mental health because there's not access, there's not money, there's not availability of providers. And so if each of us can do just a little bit. Right. And part of my mission with the work that I do is to try to put money in organizations to help them get the resources that they need to do to work. But it can't be one person. It can't be just a few people. It takes all of us.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You talked about the youth. You wrote something called the State of Mental Health for Youth and Young Adults 2025. You did a report. What was that about?

[Dr. Alfie Bree Land Noble]

Yeah. So the state of mental health of youth and young adults for 2025 is a second iteration of a study. I am a researcher at heart. My deepest belief is that every young person deserves to feel seen, heard, and valued. When I say young people, I'm basically talking about anybody under 30, because I'm old, I'm Gen X. And with our work, what we try to do is we're trying to fill in a gap, right? So people will say, well, why you only focus on young people of color? Well, primarily because most of the data that's out there, we're represented, but in these tiny little bits, right? So it's really hard to talk about what's going on with black youth. What's going on with Asian youth? What's going on with native Hawaiian or Latino, Latin a youth, or, you know, what's going on with these or Native American youth. We're in Indigenous Peoples Day, but we don't know enough about young people in these communities, about their mental health, what takes away from their mental health, what do their symptoms look like? What kind of supports do they have available to them that have nothing to do with going to mental health care? What other kind of support do you have? If we don't ask, we don't know. If we don't know, we can't find solutions to help our young people. So our goal is to fill that gap and to make sure that we're bringing in data for from all different kinds of young people, including. Right. Because when we talk about young people of color, we're also talking about all of their identities, right? So whether they have a disability or not, whether they might be lesbian, transgender, you know, non gender conforming, part of the lgbtq, AI plus community, we want to know what all of their experiences are like. Because all of us, as Dr. David John says, all of us got to rise together. When I'm talking about black people, I'm talking about all of us. So our data was designed this year. We had close to 9,000 people, young people, participate in our survey. It was fantastic. Thank you. And we learned a lot. We learned about what kind of supports do they have. A lot of our young people still go to their peers, their friends and their family members as a first line of defense. We learned about what do different signs and symptoms look like. We learned things like over 50% of the young people in our survey experience symptoms, regularly experience moderate to severe symptoms of depression, moderate to severe symptoms of anxiety. Our young people are dealing with racial trauma. So what we're trying to do with the ACOMA Project and with this study is put information out there that everybody can digest. So I encourage people to go to our website at Akoma Project. We have research briefs, plain language, anybody can understand it. We have beautiful graphics and we have infographics so you can see we. For people of your racial ethnic group, how does what you're struggling with align with what other people of different ethnic groups are struggling with? And the goal is for any young person, like your little boy or like your young ladies, for anybody out or my kids to be able to go to a website and say, oh, I'm not alone. There are other people who are dealing with this stuff too. So that's what that's about speaking of.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Being alone, One thing that I find interesting in this study is you said you found that young people find themselves negatively impacted by epic levels of loneliness and isolation. Isolation, yes. That was so interesting to me because we live in this world where everybody seems so connected.

[Dr. Alfie Bree Land Noble]

Yes.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You got all of these meaningless connections with people. That's what it is.

[Dr. Alfie Bree Land Noble]

That's 100% what it is. It is the illusion of connection. Right. The idea is, think about how we interact. So many of us. Yesterday, when I was with my kids, we were at brunch at this really wonderful place. And at one point, I look up and everybody's head's in their phone. Right. So you're at the table together, but you're not interacting with each other. So I'm not knocking it. I'm just saying that these are the kind of spaces that young people are coming up in when I'm out and about. Like, yesterday was the Hispanic Latino Heritage Parade. I saw so many little babies in strollers looking at devices. Tablets. Yeah, looking at tablets. I mean, I did it too. Like, sometimes you just want to. You need some pieces. So you get a baby to think. So they're focused. But I think it does create the illusion. I think the other thing is fear of missing out. Everybody talks about fomo, so you see people online, you know, And I always tell people, you gotta remember that stuff is curated. They're picking the best bits. They not showing you how lonely they were 10 minutes before. They just got themselves together, put on a whole bunch of makeup, got. They got their gear tight and went to that party. And maybe the whole time they were at that party, when they weren't taking pictures, they were standing in the corner by themselves on the phone or on the phone. Right. And so, like, the loneliness epidemic, I think, comes from a number of different spaces. I think too many of our young people don't. Are not taught. Think about the pandemic when they lost the opportunity to learn the skills that we learned. I've heard you talk about your educational experience. I grew up like that, too. You lose the opportunity to be in community physically, to learn how to go sit down with somebody at the lunch table, how to start a conversation, how to read social cues and know when it's time to back up. Do you know what I mean? How to deal with conflict. And if you don't learn those skills, I think what a lot of us do of any age is we shrink. We don't try. And that contributes to the loneliness epidemic as well. So we're looking at all these people doing all this cool stuff, and we're thinking to ourselves, well, I must not be cool, because I'm not doing this stuff. Do you know what I mean? And so all of those kinds of things really make it hard for our young people to sort of get themselves out of being isolated and stuck, and that loneliness just kind of sets in.

[Jess Hilarious]

And young people also feel like everything's supposed to happen right now. Everything is microwavable, everything is instant, you know, hence Instagram. Everything is just supposed to happen. And honestly, people lose their confidence, you know, when they feel like they can't keep up with their favorite streamer or their favorite influencer. You know, that's something that I'm still trying to figure out, how to not keep away from my son, but, like, curate it in a way where it's like, yo, you pick this up when you just don't have nothing to do, you know, other than that. Go throw a ball outside. Cause he loves football and he used to love basketball. Being online with me a lot more. But as he grew up, he was like, nah, I'm. But I love that. Like, he don't always be trying to be online, figure out what the latest trend is or, you know, rage bait and all that stuff. The Internet is like a gift and a curse, you know?

[Dr. Alfie Bree Land Noble]

Yes.

[Jess Hilarious]

But nowadays it just feels like more of a curse. So I'm just trying to figure out ways where I can keep him from it.

[Dr. Alfie Bree Land Noble]

But I feel like. But what you describe lets me know. As a person who's worked with parents and families in the past, you did something right. Right. Because the fact that he feels comfortable pulling away from it and communicating to you. Nah, I'm good. I don't want to do that. And you accept that and receive that because, you know, a lot of folks out here, I've seen all these documentaries. They're forcing these kids all the time. The kid is the content. You know what I'm saying? And so the kid is the money maker. And so, you know, whatever you're doing, lean into that more because you're doing something right. And I bet I'm not to put you on the spot, but I bet at some point, if you share with people. Here's how I've approached this with my child. You're giving them ideas because a lot of people struggle with that. They don't know. And one of the things we did, which I got. I'm gonna be honest, from this. Back when Oprah still had a show, I watched Barack and Michelle Obama talk about screen Time and how they limited. And that was the first time I'd ever heard that. And their thing that they said was, during the week, no screens. And me and my husband, we were like, what you mean, no screens? How you do that? But we did it, and both of our kids ended up being class valedictorians. So it's like you. You talked about how smart you were and how well you did in school. So I think there's something to be said for when you hear these great ideas from people, figure out what might work for your family. Maybe you have to tweak it, but I think it really is about being active consumers and being active, like you're saying, managers of what happens with social media and those screens with our children, we cannot leave it to them to figure it out. It's our job as caregivers to help them navigate it.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

We do that in our house. No screens during the week.

[Dr. Alfie Bree Land Noble]

Oh, that's great.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

And on the weekends, you get a certain amount of time.

[Dr. Alfie Bree Land Noble]

That's it.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That's it.

[Dr. Alfie Bree Land Noble]

That's it.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

It should be like a treat.

[Dr. Alfie Bree Land Noble]

It is. Yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

People, to me, you use it as a. Like a tool to keep the babies occupied.

[Dr. Alfie Bree Land Noble]

Yep, yep. And I'm gonna tell you one thing Jason Wilson told me over the weekend. I had never heard of it. Have y' all heard of this thing, the brick? Brick your phone? No. So, okay, I'll tell you real quickly. It's a little device. You. You know, the device stays in your home or in one location. You set the device. I'm being really crude with it. Where certain apps, you disable them with the brick. So it's like you touch your phone to the brick, and those apps are disabled. So maybe like Instagram or TikTok or something like that. Right. Then you leave. When you leave the house, the only way you can re engage those is by touching the brick.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I love that.

[Dr. Alfie Bree Land Noble]

So if you're gone, you can't engage with the app. Does that make sense? It's locked. You're locked out of it, essentially. And he told me that. I was like, oh, I love that. Because it reduces the temptation to, like, yeah. Brick your phone. It reduces the temptation to turn it back on. I thought that was fantastic. So I'm about to try that.

[Jess Hilarious]

Yeah. Even.

[Dr. Alfie Bree Land Noble]

Even for me.

[Jess Hilarious]

I need that. I need that. I need help on the phone. You ever be scrolling and you like, all right, I'mma just. It'll be 4:44.

[Dr. Alfie Bree Land Noble]

Yeah.

[Jess Hilarious]

I'm gonna do this till 5 o'.

[Dr. Alfie Bree Land Noble]

Clock.

[Jess Hilarious]

You look up and it's 6 o' clock. You like, yo, I could have done so much in that hour and you don't even realize.

[Dr. Alfie Bree Land Noble]

Nope, I did it this morning. I was getting ready to get over here and I looked up, I said, okay, I gotta get dressed cause I gotta get in the car cause I don't wanna be late. I looked up, 45 minutes have passed and I'm like, oh God. I gotta like get all this stuff together right? And you just lose track of time. So it happens to the best of us. So something like that, that forces you.

[Jess Hilarious]

I love that.

[Dr. Alfie Bree Land Noble]

Now I know I was struggling a little bit. Cause I'd be hot. Be like how you turn this thing off. I need an emergency off switch. But it will help me because it would retrain, you know, help me retrain my mind and my behaviors. I don't need to be on IG all the time. You know, I can put. I'm not a big TikTok fan but you know, I can do something other than sit here and stare at this phone and scroll all day. So yeah, yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Getbrick app is the site. Dr. Alfie, tell em how they can support the coma project and the Mental Wealth Allian.

[Dr. Alfie Bree Land Noble]

Okay, Mental wealth alliance. You're gonna go to Mental wealth alliance all1word.org. You're gonna get on that page, you're gonna look for the donate button, you're gonna click donate and you gonna give the Mental wealth alliance some money or the Akoma Project. AA K as in kite O M a project. All one word. You can do that, go there and donate or just check out the resources that we have there. You can follow obviously Charlemagne the guy so you can learn more about the Mental wealth alliance or follow me doctoralfie D R A L F I E E on all socials like everywhere. And we hope you'll go donate to the mental the Mental Wealth Alliance.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah, you know it's interesting. People always ask me, you know, Charlamagne, how are you able to do, you know, so many different things? And I always say because you have to have a great team. And you know Dr. Alfie Bree Land Noble, she runs the Mental wealth alliance. She runs the Okoma Project and she helps put together the Mental Wealth Expo every year along with iheart and you know, everybody else. So thank you Dr. Alfie.

[Dr. Alfie Bree Land Noble]

You're welcome. And shouts out to all the folks at iHeart to you and everybody. New Jersey Institute of Technology. That was a lot of work and I just really appreciate everybody who put their time and effort in and I gotta shout out the kind people in Newark for coming. We really appreciate y'. All.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Thank you newark. Thank you Dr. Alfie. Breakfast Club Wake that ass up early in the morning.

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