INTERVIEW: Elliott Connie Reveals The Right Questions To Ask Yourself To Achieve Your Best Personal Success

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Breakfast Club Episode: INTERVIEW: Elliott Connie Reveals The Right Questions To Ask Yourself To Achieve Your Best Personal Success
Release Date: November 18, 2024
Host: DJ Envy, Charlamagne Tha God, Jess Hilarious, and Tyla
Guest: Elliott Connie

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Introduction

In this insightful episode of The Breakfast Club, hosts DJ Envy, Charlamagne Tha God, Jess Hilarious, and Tyla welcome renowned psychotherapist and author Elliott Connie. Elliott delves into his latest book, "Change Your Questions, Change Your Future: Overcoming Challenges and Creating a New Vision for Your Life Using the Principles of Solution-Focused Brief Therapy", sharing profound insights on personal success, the power of self-questioning, and transformative change.

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Elliott Connie’s Journey and Book Overview

[02:48] DJ Envy:
Elliott begins by discussing his 20-year journey as a practicing psychotherapist, emphasizing the commonalities he observed among successful individuals. He explains that those who achieve their goals tend to ask themselves different, more effective questions compared to others.

Notable Quote:
"Success is defined by people who set a goal and achieve it. So what is it that makes some people succeed and other people not? And after all these years of practice, it's they talk to themselves differently, they ask themselves different kind of questions."
— Elliott Connie [02:48]

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The Power of Asking “What Do I Want?”

One of the central themes Elliott discusses is the significance of asking oneself "What do I want?" instead of focusing on negatives or what one wants to avoid.

[04:10] DJ Envy:
"The most common question that successful people ask themselves is what do I want? Most people do not ask themselves, what do I want. Most people spend a lot of time thinking about what they don't want and try to avoid it."

Charlamagne Tha God adds that specificity in goals is crucial:
"You can't just say, I want to be successful. What's the goal? What's the destination? What you're trying to do?"
— Charlamagne Tha God [05:30]

Elliott underscores the importance of granular, detailed goals, illustrating with his high school experience where his clear objectives kept him focused despite peer pressure.

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Overcoming Common Obstacles in Defining Goals

[07:22] Tyla:
Tyla points out that many people, especially students, often default to vague desires like wanting money or fame without a clear purpose.

[07:31] Charlamagne Tha God & DJ Envy:
The conversation highlights that while people may state generic goals (e.g., wanting to start a podcast), the real challenge lies in defining and pursuing the underlying purpose behind these ambitions.

Notable Quote:
"People look at your life or your life, and they're like, I want to be just hilarious. I want to be a really famous, really great comic with beautiful skin."
— DJ Envy [13:12]

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Change vs. Shift: Debating Transformation

A significant segment features a discussion on whether individuals can truly change or merely shift their behaviors.

[08:03] DJ Envy:
Responding to Dr. Cheyenne Bryant's assertion that people don't change but shift, Elliott vehemently disagrees, presenting evidence of personal transformation through consistent actions and self-identification.

Notable Quote:
"The greatest capacity that human beings have is the ability to transform their circumstances. And we do that by the way we identify."
— Elliott Connie [09:39]

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The Role of Emotional Intelligence and Discipline

Elliott and Charlamagne explore the necessity of emotional intelligence in asking the right questions and the paramount importance of discipline in achieving long-term goals.

[20:10] Charlamagne Tha God:
Charlamagne questions whether people possess the emotional intelligence to formulate effective questions for self-improvement.

[20:14] DJ Envy:
Elliott responds by affirming that emotional intelligence can be developed through education and self-improvement practices.

Notable Quote:
"Discipline is the highest level of self-love. And you just can't achieve anything based upon emotion or instantaneous desire."
— Elliott Connie [20:14]

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Transforming Grief into Action

Elliott shares personal anecdotes on handling grief, advocating for transforming sorrow into purposeful action.

[16:50] DJ Envy:
Discussing Vice President Kamala Harris losing an election, Elliott advises honoring one’s feelings but also channeling grief into constructive endeavors.

Notable Quote:
"The most powerful way to deal with grief is with hope, and a powerful way to deal with grief is with honor."
— Elliott Connie [16:50]

He recounts how his grandmother’s support helped him cope with his uncle’s passing, illustrating the impact of shifting perspective from loss to legacy.

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Practical Strategies for Personal Success

Elliott provides actionable advice on setting and achieving goals, emphasizing the necessity of:

1. Identifying Specific Goals:
   Clearly define what you want to achieve rather than what you want to avoid.

2. Understanding the Difference:
   Ask how achieving a goal will make a difference in your life to boost motivation.

3. Maintaining Discipline:
   Make decisions aligned with your long-term objectives, resisting immediate desires that may hinder progress.

4. Enhancing Emotional Intelligence:
   Develop the ability to ask constructive questions and reframe challenges as opportunities.

Notable Quote:
"When you identify who you want, you now identify as [the desired identity]. And that's going to impact your choices."
— Elliott Connie [05:04]

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Audience Engagement and Q&A Highlights

Throughout the episode, Elliott interacts with the hosts, providing insights into overcoming societal and personal barriers to success. He emphasizes the importance of perseverance, gratitude, and continuous self-education.

[26:15] Charlamagne Tha God:
Encourages listeners to follow Elliott’s work and engage with his resources, such as his podcast "Family Therapy Facts" on the Black Fat iHeartRadio network.

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Conclusion

Elliott Connie's appearance on The Breakfast Club offers a profound exploration of the mental frameworks that underpin personal success. By advocating for intentional self-questioning, disciplined action, and emotional intelligence, Elliott provides listeners with the tools to redefine their futures and overcome challenges. His emphasis on specificity in goal-setting and transformation over mere shifting offers a roadmap for those seeking meaningful change in their lives.

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Follow Elliott Connie:

• Instagram: @ElliotSpeaks (Spell with two L's and two T's)
• Facebook: Elliott Connie
• Podcast: Family Therapy Facts on the Black Fat iHeartRadio podcast network

Book Recommendation:
"Change Your Questions, Change Your Future: Overcoming Challenges and Creating a New Vision for Your Life Using the Principles of Solution-Focused Brief Therapy"

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Thank you for tuning into this comprehensive summary of Elliott Connie's enlightening session on The Breakfast Club. For more engaging discussions and interviews, stay connected with The Breakfast Club on iHeartPodcasts.

Transcript

[Tyla]

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Wake.

[DJ Envy]

That Ass up early in the morning.

[Tyla]

The Breakfast Club Morning everybody. It's DJ Envy. Jess Hilarious Charlamagne the Guy we are the Breakfast Club. We got a special guest in the building. We have Elliot Connie. Welcome back, brother.

[Charlamagne tha God]

How are you, sir?

[DJ Envy]

I'm doing great. I'm doing very well, thank you.

[Charlamagne tha God]

Man, it's good to see you. You got a new book out now. Change your questions, change your future. Overcoming challenges and creating a new vision for your life using the principles of solution Focused Brief Therapy Facts.

[Jess Hilarious]

What a title.

[DJ Envy]

Yes, just what a title.

[Tyla]

So what does all that mean?

[DJ Envy]

You know, it means I've been a practicing psychotherapist for, I don't know, nearly 20 years. And it's been an amazing ride to like, watch people heal and overcome. Like some things that you wouldn't imagine people could heal and overcome. And as I sat there on that 20 year journey, sitting there front row and watching people grow, I started thinking, like, what's the commonality? Like, how do people do this? How do people change and how do people overcome challenges? And people who are successful and people who are able to achieve things in spite of obstacles have a tendency to ask themselves different kinds of questions. So I decided to write a book about it. Like, I've written several books, but most of them are for professionals. But I decided I wanted to write a book about change and about how people talk to themselves and about how successful people have a tendency to ask themselves different kinds of questions that lead to their success. And when I say success, I don't mean like millionaires. I just mean people that achieve whatever their aim is, if it's overcoming addiction or becoming successful business person, whatever it is. Success is defined by people who set a goal and achieve it. So what is it that makes some people succeed and other people not? And after all these years of practice, it's they talk to themselves differently, they ask themselves different kind of questions.

[Charlamagne tha God]

What's the most common question that successful people ask themselves?

[DJ Envy]

Oh boy, that's a good one. The most common question that successful people ask themselves is what do I want? Most people do not ask themselves, what do I want? Most people spend a lot of time thinking about what they don't want and try to avoid it. People who achieve aims and goals are the ones who are able to set a goal and ask themselves like, what is it that I want about this goal? And once you do that, you become capable of achieving it.

[Charlamagne tha God]

I tell all the young is that you got to find that one thing that you want to do. And when you find that one thing that you want to do and you focus on that, everything else falls in place 100%.

[DJ Envy]

I mean, I tell people all the time, like, you don't get into a taxi cab and the cab driver doesn't ask you where do you not want to be? Like, if the cab driver asks you, where do you not want to be? That doesn't give that cab driver any information. The cab driver asks you the single most important question ever. Where are you going? And then you answer that question. You would never say, I just want to be not here. You know what I mean? Like you said, I just don't want.

[Tyla]

To be in the Bronx.

[DJ Envy]

You don't ever say that. Cab driver says, where you head. You don't say, like, not here. Like, that's just not what. That doesn't help but think about that. Like, most people say, like, I just don't want to feel like this. Or, I don't like this job, or what job do you want? Oh, no, just not this one. Well, that's not good enough. You have to, like. You have to really identify, what's that thing I want to achieve and what's that place I want to be, and who do I want to be in.

[Charlamagne tha God]

Order to become that man that's so real. And that's why, like, we have these conversations about manifestation. You can't just say, I want to be successful.

[DJ Envy]

No, I.

[Charlamagne tha God]

What's the goal? What's the destination? What you're trying to do?

[DJ Envy]

That's right. That's absolutely right. You got to think of the. The world is like a. Like an algorithm that wants to give you what you want, but it will only reward the people bold enough to ask for it and ask for it in great detail. And when you have, like, really granular, detailed goals, you're just significantly more likely to achieve it. And here's an example. When I was in high school, my obsession was to go to college and play baseball. Like, that was my obsession. I knew that college was my ticket out of the situation I was in, and I wanted to go to college and play baseball. So I remember one day I was a freshman, and I'm walking to school, and a couple of my boys came running up to me, and they were like, yo, yo, yo, we just found so and so's dad's alcohol. We're gonna skip school. I was like, no, because future baseball players in college don't skip school and drink. So I did not do it. And it's. It's like that. Like when you have this thing in your. In your head, there's like a. Like a guardrail that keeps you on the way to getting those things. And just. Most people don't. They don't ask themselves. They say, I want to be successful. I want to be famous. I want to be a YouTube star. Whatever they say. But like, talking about what or doing what or impacting who, like, you have to be specific. Really specific.

[Tyla]

So I was going to ask. When you do have to be that specific, right. That means you have to do a lot of work on yourself. Because like Charlamagne said, most people, I don't think, realize what they want. They want to be rich or they want to have a lot of money. They want a big home. They want a nice car. So that requires the work. And I think a lot of people don't necessarily know what they want to do. Like, if you ever ask a high school student or a college student or somebody that graduated college, what do you want to do? And usually it's, I want to make money.

[DJ Envy]

It's literally my job. Yeah, you're right. I ask these people all the time. They all say, I want to make money. I want to be famous. I want to be an influencer.

[Charlamagne tha God]

I want a podcast.

[DJ Envy]

I want a podcast.

[Charlamagne tha God]

What?

[DJ Envy]

I want to be a rapper.

[Tyla]

No, I'm just kidding.

[DJ Envy]

I don't know about that one. I don't hear that one as much.

[Tyla]

But I wanted to ask you as well. We had Dr. Cheyenne Bryant here the other day.

[DJ Envy]

Yeah, I saw that.

[Tyla]

And she was talking about changed behavior, opposed to. We were talking about men doing things in relationships. It came from men. So if a man is a womanizer or a man is an abuser, she was saying that she feels like men don't change. They just shift and pivot. What's your thoughts on that?

[DJ Envy]

You saw the clip, right? I saw the clip. I very much disagree with her. When she says, like people. She said, people don't change it. And respectfully, like, I don't want to talk down about anybody. But therapist beef, man. I got enough of that in my field. I certainly don't want that with the good sister, Dr. Bryant. I heard her say that, like, people don't change. She was like, I don't change it. But that's. That is actually not true. So we have to go back to what's the definition of change? So, like, here's an example. Recently, I've been taking my health more seriously, and I gave up soda, fried food, candy, working out. When you do that, my. My body chemistry is different. If you did a CAT scan on my brain now versus six months ago, it looks different. Like, wouldn't that be definable, noticeable, observable change? And we often use phrases like, you are what you consistently do. So if I change what I consistently do. Don't I change who I am and how I show up in this world? I think it's a very disheartening thing to say. People don't change, they shift. Like, what if I've had a really hard life? Trauma, abuse, tragedy. And I cope with that comma, trauma, abuse and tragedy with drugs and alcohol. Are you saying I can just shift? I can't actually transform and become a healed human and outgrow the problems that. That plagued my life and led to these addictive behaviors like that? That's wildly inaccurate. And you recently becoming a new mother again, you're not the same person as you were before this person. Like, wouldn't we observe that as. That's just a different thing?

[Charlamagne tha God]

I think she was saying that you have to make these shifts in your life before it leads to actual change.

[DJ Envy]

But I don't. I don't actually. I don't know that that's true. I think. I think the first step in change is it goes back to what we're saying before. It's identifying who you want to be. And once you identify who you want. You want to be, then the next steps become very obvious. You now identify as a mom of two instead of what you were before, which is mom of one. And at some point in your life, you were a mom of zero. Yeah. And that's going to impact your choices. So it really starts with how you. How you identify and what you do. So when she said that, I was like, oh, man, you know me. Sometimes I'm screaming at the computer, like. But I just. I really disagree with her. I think the greatest capacity that human beings have is the ability to transform their circumstances. And we do that by the way we identify.

[Jess Hilarious]

What about if you. Going back to what we were Talking about before, Dr. Bryant. What about if you don't know what you want to do or what about. Or what if that changes? What if you get into something and then you're like, is this what I really want to do? Or like, how do you get out of that? Because then you can land yourself in a funk, you can be depressed or, you know, something like that.

[DJ Envy]

Right. Well, so I think there's two questions there, like, what if you don't know what you want to be? I know a really good book that people should read that'll help them identify.

[Charlamagne tha God]

With Change your questions, change your future by la.

[DJ Envy]

No, no, but seriously. Seriously. But I mean, if you don't know what you want to be, you should explore and you should try things and you should ask yourself the kind of questions like, what difference do I want to make in this world? What impact do I want to have in this world? Who do I want to have an impact upon? How do I want to wake up and spend my days? And when you ask yourself those types of questions, it informs what you want to do. I don't want to wake up and, like, I like to cook, right? I'm pretty good at cooking. I don't want to wake up and serve in a restaurant, But I know people who do. I want to wake up and help people overcome life's circumstances. So I became a psychotherapist. And the second thing is I don't know that if you end up in the wrong situation, you end up in a funk or depressed. I think you have to have a realization that I can't discover who I am without trying all kinds of things. And then having the boldness to say, this doesn't fit, and then having the boldness to fight for the things that do. Like, once I decided I wanted to become a psychotherapist, it wasn't like the path was easy. In fact, it's been very, very challenging. First of all, I had to get a master's degree, and that required 2 degrees. And I don't know, a lot of people in my family or environment where people were getting master's degrees. I had to get a license. I had to study and work and. And then, you know, when I showed up in the psychotherapy field, and I say this all the time, and people don't really believe me, but when you're in graduate school studying psychotherapy in 2005, there are zero, literally zero African American faces that you study in those books? So do you think the. The white status quo in the field was very excited for this black dude to show up and start writing books and start showing up on stages? Like, it's been a really hard. But I know this is my place, so you have to have the boldness. Like, this is where I am, and I'm going to fight for it. And all three of you in many different environments, comedy, business, music, radio and television, like, you've all been wildly successful. And I would venture to bet it hasn't always been easy, the whole.

[Charlamagne tha God]

No, not at all.

[DJ Envy]

And I. And I think that goes back to also the question that we ask. Like, people look at your life or your life or your life, and they're like, I want to be. I want to be just hilarious. I want to be a really famous, really great comic with beautiful skin.

[Jess Hilarious]

Thank you. With beautiful skin because that's not easy.

[DJ Envy]

An adult new child. Yeah, but they do. They look at her life and I want to be like that. And then they start trying to replicate.

[Tyla]

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[Unknown Speaker]

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[DJ Envy]

Who Jess hilarious is. But like, how many comedy clubs did you work at when there was 10 people in the club or you had to drive there and they didn't even pay you gas money to cover? Yeah, like a lot people don't want to replicate the journey, they want to replicate the outcome. But if I want to be just hilarious, I have to change my question and ask like what? What street did she go down to get to the ultimate destination where she got and I've got To be willing to go down that same street. And that's not. That's not an easy thing to do. I mean, that's a. That's a hard, hard road to do.

[Charlamagne tha God]

In chapter five, you talk about being difference led. What does that mean, to be difference led?

[DJ Envy]

Yeah, like real. A really, really powerful question to ask yourself, or in my case, when I ask my clients, is, what difference would that make? So if. If I identify that I want to be a. I want to have a successful podcast, you should ask yourself, like, what difference will it make in my life to have a successful podcast? Because difference leads to motivation. Now, you have 10 jobs, right? But let's imagine the only job you have is comic, and you're tired and you're like, I don't want to get on another plane. I don't want to get another bus. I don't want to take another stage. But if I were to ask her, like, what difference would it make if you continue to do that, she's inherently going to think about these two babies, and she's going to think about my ability to pay for their future, their college, whatever. And that's going to increase her motivation to do really hard things for the betterment of her life, the betterment of her children. And most people don't think about difference. They just think about, like, on a very surface level, the thing that they want. And I think we should spend more time thinking about different.

[Charlamagne tha God]

What would you say to people who are experiencing grief due to Vice President Kamala Harris losing the election?

[DJ Envy]

Oh, that's a good question. I would say, like, honor your feelings. I would say, you know, this is a hard time, depending on what. What you thought about the election and who you were passionate about or whatever. I would say honor those feelings. But then I would also say, turn that grief into action. Turn that grief into something you can do. I think the most powerful way to deal with grief is with hope, and a powerful way to deal with grief is with honor. So one really good example is a grief that I've had in my life is my Uncle Jeffrey passed away. And he was, to make a super long story really short, I grew up really depressed and anxious from a difficult childhood. And my grandmother, in her ultimate wisdom, knew that one of the things that would help Elliot feel better is if he knew how much like his Uncle Jeffrey he was. You know, when you grow up and you're super isolated, you just don't feel like you belong. And my grandmother sent this dude to come hang out with me, and I felt like I had a place in this world. And I was in Denmark teaching in 2017, and I got this horrible message on Facebook. I learned that my uncle passed away on Facebook. And you know, my uncle, he was a big kid, man, and he would have loved all this stuff that's happened. Like, I've signed TV deals and got shows in development and books and hanging out with you and doing all kinds of stuff. He would find that stuff so fun. So the way I deal with the grief is, like, he's mentally coming along with me for the journey. That that's how I honor him. So we also. If you're grieving in post election, like, how do you honor whatever motivated you? Like, for me, as an African American, I thought it was amazing to watch a black woman do some of the things that Kamala was doing. Like, it was amazing. I thought about my grandmother who never thought this would happen ever in the United States, and to watch Kamala do what she was doing. So I thought it was amazing. And the way that I plan to honor that is by continuing to fight for a world where a woman is not voted for, things that are, A, not true, and B, she can't control. I had many, many people in the black community tell me, I just don't think a woman should be the leader of America. And I'd be like, why? To me, it's wildly hypocritical for someone to say, my woman should be at home, like, as a leader of the house. But then you say women can't lead and you don't want a woman to be in power. It's like, those things don't. They're not congruent thoughts. So I think we have to honor the process. And one of the ways I plan to do that is continue to advocate for black culture and black women in particular, because I think black women are. They need to be advocated for. And I think hope matters because hope allows us to think that there's opportunity for things to be different in the future. And we need to think about what kind of world we want to live in and do whatever we can in our small micro worlds and in our big macro world to advocate for the kind of world we want to live in.

[Charlamagne tha God]

I also saw you say that one of the biggest mistakes people are making is making emotional decisions when you should be making it based on discipline.

[DJ Envy]

Yes. You should be making it based on discipline, for sure.

[Charlamagne tha God]

Expound on that.

[DJ Envy]

Yeah, discipline. You know, I've heard somebody say, and I agree, discipline is the highest level of self love. And you Just can't achieve anything based upon emotion or instantaneous desire. You have to have your, the outcome you want in your mind all of the time. Like, we landed late last night and me and my camera guys over there, we went for a walk in Times Square and I had a really long day and I was super hungry. And you walking around Times Square at midnight, you see a bunch of Nathan's hot dog stands and all kinds of crazy food. You can get anything at any hour in New York City. And I like, my instantaneous emotional desire was to fulfill that need. Like those french fries would taste good and that hot dog would taste good. But my long term outcome is about my health and who I want to be going forward. So I have to make a disciplined decision. And a disciplined decision, a decision that's in line with your stated, your stated goal, like the person you're trying to become. And an emotional decision is something that would just meet that need right now. Like, it would have felt good to eat that hot dog, but I would woke up with regret. I wouldn't have felt right. The momentum I've gathered over the past few months, I would have lost that. It's just not worth it. So people need to make disciplined decisions all throughout their life. And health is just one example. But like you guys all had to make discipline decisions on your pathway to where you ultimately got professionally and opportunities came your way. That sounded good, but I can't do that because it's not moving me in this right place. And that's discipline. And neither of you would be in the position you're in without a high, high, high level of discipline. We just don't talk about it. Yeah, like if someone were to ask Jess, like, how do you become a successful comedian? They're just thinking about how funny you have to be. But I know a lot of comedians and being funny is just part of it. I mean, that's just, that's a part of the whole amoeba of what skills you have to have to be a successful comic. And one of them is discipline.

[Tyla]

Absolutely.

[Charlamagne tha God]

I wonder, when it comes to changing your questions, do people have the emotional intelligence to ask the right questions? And what I mean by that is, you know, you might automatically think somebody always trying to play you when things don't go your way. Right. So you're like, yo, this person trying to play me.

[DJ Envy]

You know what I mean?

[Charlamagne tha God]

Like, does this person have something against me? Like, to me, that's so the low level of emotional intelligence. Like, you have to have a high level of emotional Intelligence to ask yourself the right question.

[DJ Envy]

I think that's true. But I think you can grow your emotional intelligence. I think. I mean, I think you're 100% right. People, people, something doesn't go their way, they're like, so and so trying to get me. And I think you have to. You have to shift that. And one of the ways to help shift that is to read books like this, go to psychotherapy, and realize that even if the world seems to be against you, you still have a way to impact that. You still have a way to make a difference in that. You still have a way to overcome that. I mean, I'm someone that, over the course of my life, I have fallen in love with things feeling like they're against me. I actually love the challenge of that now. And I couldn't have said that before, but I do. I love it when it's like the odds are against you and you don't really feel like you can conceive, you can succeed. And the reason I feel that way now, and I haven't felt that way before is, number one, because that's when I can prove my strength. Like, if everything was easy, I don't get to prove that I have any level of strength. Like, I want some pushback. And number two, I want to make. There are some people that invested a lot in me. My grandmother, my mother. Shout out to my mother, Jeanette Connie. She would probably be entertained that I would say her name here. My Aunt Lenny. Like, these people have invested a lot in me. So I actually like when there's a little bit of pushback because I get to show them what they taught me was magical and powerful. So you have to shift from, like, the whole universe is against me to, like, this is just an opportunity for me to show people how strong I am. This is an opportunity for me to show people that have poured into me that the stuff they poured into me was valuable, and I use it. So you have to really change everything about your perspective. And I've said this a lot before, too, but you have to be super grateful. Like, I'm now at a point in my life where I'm grateful for challenges, because that's when I can see, has all of this been worth it. And now I realize it has. Like, it has been worth it to be able to push back when obstacles show up. And most people spend so much of their time entitled that they spend so less of their time grateful. And I realize I'm not entitled to anything. And I'm so grateful for Every opportunity, every chance, people who are in my life, friends, I will randomly text them thank you for things because I just want to be so appreciative of every moment that I've had. Because I think it's all a gift. Even though even the challenges and the problems are, are all gifts. And how many of y'all, like have gotten fired from a job or booed off a stage or whatever? And at the time it happened, it hurt and it was difficult, it was challenging. But you look back and realize I needed that part of the process. That was a good thing that had happened to me. It wasn't fun, it wasn't exciting, and I don't want to go through it again, but I needed that in order to get here. So I think we have to just shift. And I think people can. I do think we kind of operate on a low level of emotional intelligence, or at least a lot of people do. But I think that can be impacted by doing things like educating yourself, feeding your brain quality things instead of playing around on social media, like read a book. Like, you know, most successful people have libraries and unsuccessful people have televisions. Like, that's a. That's a measurable piece of data that rich, wildly successful goal attaining people have more books and people who are not as successful watch television many more hours. So. And that comes from they're just feeding their brain better stuff. And what does that do that increases your level of emotional intelligence. Wow.

[Charlamagne tha God]

How do they follow you, Doc? Oh, Elliot Connie. I don't know why we want to.

[DJ Envy]

Call you Dr. Everybody do. Everybody does. How do they follow me? Go to Instagram at Elliot Speaks. Spell my name with two L's and two T's. You can follow me on Facebook. Just look at my name. Elliot Connie. There's not too many people named Elliot Connie.

[Charlamagne tha God]

His new book is out now. Change youe Questions, Change your Future. Overcoming challenges and create a new vision for your life using the principles of Solution Focused Brief Therapy. Make sure you go get that. And check out Elliot's podcast Family Therapy Facts on the Black Fat iHeartRadio podcast network.

[Tyla]

That's right.

[Charlamagne tha God]

Always a pleasure, my brother, Elliot.

[Tyla]

Connie, pick up the book. It's the Breakfast Club. Good morning.

[DJ Envy]

Wake that ass up early in the morning.

[Unknown Speaker]

The Breakfast Club.

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