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The Breakfast Club
INTERVIEW: Jason Wilson Breaks Down 'The Man The Moment Demands,' Talks Intergenerational Trauma +More
00:28:29
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- [00:00]
Charlamagne Tha God
KE Huey Quan has had the craziest career in Hollywood. He played two of the most iconic movie roles of all time as a kid. First is Short round in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom alongside Harrison Ford and then his data from the cult classic the Goonies. Then after a 20 year break from acting, he wins an Academy Award for his performance in Everything Everywhere all at Once. Well now Key is finally starring as a leading man in the movie Love Hurts. The movie is a zag against your typical romantic Valentine's Day fair. Love Hurts has over the top action, comedy and a ton of heart. It's the perfect choice for date night with a little something for everyone. Love Hurts also stars Academy Award award winner Ariana DeBose and former NFL running back and super bowl champion Marshawn Beast Mode lynch, who absolutely does his thing in this one. You don't want to miss this one. Love Hurts only in theaters February 7th.
- [00:44]
DJ Envy
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- [01:03]
Charlamagne Tha God
Available Features Compatible device service and consumer activation of Nissan Connect Services package required Use only when safe and legal. Subject to third party service availability. For more information, see nissanusa.com connect legal Apple CarPlay is a trademark of Apple Inc. Intelligent All Wheel drive cannot prevent collisions or provide enhanced traction in all conditions. Always monitor traffic and weather conditions.
- [01:19]
Justina Valentine
Taking control of your career is empowering. Just don't tell my boss I said that. Just kidding. I am the boss. This is Carlos Miller from the 85 South show and Building a career isn't just about a job. It's about creating a path that impacts our community and future generations. Whether you're starting out or even making big moves, State Farm is here to support you with resources to help protect what you're working hard to achieve. They've got your back every step of the way because like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.
- [01:49]
DJ Envy
Find out more@statefarm.com at&t has a new guarantee because most things in life are not guaranteed in a world where Nothing is guaranteed. AT&T is bringing something new to the table. AT&T is introducing a guarantee with connectivity you depend on, deals you want and service you deserve or they make it right. Learn more@att.com guarantee@&t connecting changes everything. Terms and conditions apply. Visit att.comguaranty for details.
- [02:21]
Charlamagne Tha God
Wake that ass up early in the morning.
- [02:23]
Justina Valentine
The Breakfast Club.
- [02:25]
DJ Envy
Morning, everybody. It's DJ Envy. Just hilarious. Charlamagne, the guy we are the Breakfast Club. We got a special guest in the building.
- [02:32]
Charlamagne Tha God
One of my favorite brothers on the planet, man.
- [02:34]
DJ Envy
The brother Jason Wilson.
- [02:35]
Justina Valentine
Welcome, brother.
- [02:36]
DJ Envy
Welcome back.
- [02:36]
Justina Valentine
I should say, pleasure to meet you. I'm doing well. All is well. What's up, brother? You good?
- [02:40]
Charlamagne Tha God
Blessed brother. How are you?
- [02:41]
Jason Wilson
That is a nice beard you got.
- [02:43]
Justina Valentine
Thank you.
- [02:44]
Jason Wilson
Okay.
- [02:44]
Justina Valentine
Yeah. I appreciate it.
- [02:45]
Charlamagne Tha God
Thank you, Jason. You see how she did a little Truly, Jason. A cat daddy. Now ladies, be loving Jason Wilson.
- [02:55]
Justina Valentine
I never see that. You crazy.
- [02:57]
Charlamagne Tha God
Always be texting me like, you know, Jason, I'm like, man, that man is happily married. Calm down.
- [03:02]
Justina Valentine
I never see any of that, so.
- [03:04]
Charlamagne Tha God
Not supposed to.
- [03:05]
Justina Valentine
Yeah, that's good. Yeah, that's good. That's good. Yeah, man.
- [03:09]
Charlamagne Tha God
But how are you, though?
- [03:10]
Justina Valentine
I'm doing well, man. Fought the flu and sinus infection. I was bedridden like for six or seven days at the beginning of the year. Couldn't work out, couldn't do anything and just had to allow my body to heal and practice what I preach and just rest and stop allowing my life to be centered around what I got to do, you know.
- [03:29]
Charlamagne Tha God
Your new book is called the man the Moment demands master the 10 characteristics of the Comprehensive Man. So the start of the year, right? Start of the year, you know, that's a reset for a lot of people. But you started the year, you know, sick for six, seven days. So you got on the reset.
- [03:44]
Justina Valentine
Yeah.
- [03:44]
Charlamagne Tha God
You had to be completely still. What did you realize in that moment?
- [03:48]
Justina Valentine
I realized, you know, that, you know, as men, you know, we can't keep our foot to the throttle. You know, we stay in first gear of manhood, which I call just the masculine mode, which gets us from stop to start. But if we stay in that gear, we're going to burn the clutch out in the process. I believe I was burning my life clutch out. Just working really hard on this book and other things. And so it gave me a lot of time to sit with the most high and just meditate on allowing myself to just be instead of performing.
- [04:20]
Jason Wilson
Yeah.
- [04:20]
Justina Valentine
And that's what so many men struggle with, just living performance based lives. And it's taking us out, you know, but they gave me time to reflect. And then you know what's crazy? I had to beat sister B. Simone, which I call like my daughter now. I had to do her podcast, and the Holy Spirit was like, I need you. You're going to be weak, but you got to go. I got something you got to tell her. And so I barely could make the flight. I wanted to make sure I wasn't contagious. Went down to the podcast brother and my sister. Within a matter of maybe 20 minutes, the interview shifted from that to her, and I was able to answer one of her prayers. But if I wasn't weak because I'm like, man, why would I get sick in this time when I need to promote this message? Most High was like, I needed you weak for my daughter because if you're strong, you may not be broken enough for me to speak to you and to speak the words I need to say to her. The episode ended with us praying, and it was very powerful. But that weakness allowed me to be the man in that moment for her. You know, and a lot of times as men, we miss those moments because we feel we have to be perpetually strong, which we know by now with research that is killing us. And so that weakness in that moment was needed, and I'm thankful that I surrendered to that so I can be the man in the moment for B. Simone.
- [05:37]
Jason Wilson
I'm absolutely grateful that you got to do that. That's one of my friends. Like, she's always the one who is, like, spiritually strong for everybody else. Like, she'll hit me out the blue. Like, even, you know, she may get. Just because we connected in that way. Me, her, and Pretty Vee, you know, a few other people. But she. She's always spiritually strong and the one praying for everybody all the time and just, like, putting her. Whatever she got going on to the side to make sure we're all good, you know? So I'm happy that she was able to do that.
- [06:07]
Justina Valentine
It was deep, you know, I shared with her, and I had no idea what my daughter was dealing with. And I refer to her, my daughter. She's like my daughter's age, but she and a lot of women I believe, who are single, especially if you. Your life is renewed in Christ, you feel that you being hidden is that you're not valuable. And I had to let her know that no one puts anything in the safe that's not valuable. And he's protecting you. It was a very powerful moment because it liberated her from the lies in her head.
- [06:35]
Jason Wilson
Yeah.
- [06:35]
Justina Valentine
And so, yeah, I've adopted her, so she's family now. But I'm glad I was able to meet that moment for her.
- [06:42]
Charlamagne Tha God
Wow. You got the book broken down into three parts. Dynamic, Deeper and devotion. Can you explain the difference?
- [06:48]
Justina Valentine
For sure. The dynamic is what we as men are used to fighting. You know, of course we're used to that and at least in us to protect. The problem is many of us are fighting the wrong way. I mean, think of how many intellectually gifted men who are in incarcerated because they couldn't rule their emotions in the moment. The next one, of course, is number two, which we tend to just gravitate to, is the provider, you know, providing for our families, making sure they have the care they need, not just the money. Because as we know, once you get it, it's not really fulfilling. It's what you do. Is your presence really. Is your presence really present? You know, are you really active with your children, your wife and your family and in your community? Then I go to the leader, like many of us want to be leaders. All right, But a lot of us don't lead by example. We lead by intimidation. So I unpack that and then we go to the deeper, which is the lover. I start with the lover characteristic because many men, we believe love is sex only. And I share an intimate moment with my wife when she had. My wife had five miscarriages and as a result of our last one, they had to make an incision vertically on her stomach. And she, you know, as a woman, you become self conscious of that scar. And so one evening while we were, you know, intimate, the Holy Spirit said, I want you to kiss that scar from the top of it to the bottom. And I allowed myself because I'm emotionally intelligent and I'm a comprehensive man, you know, sex to me isn't. A lot of men, we think about the ground and pound like mma, like it's about force, but it's not always about that. It's about sensitivity and connecting. And so when I started kissing the scar, my wife started weeping and crying. And in that moment I was able to allow her to release this self consciousness, well, a self conscious feeling about this scar. And I just share where she's always beautiful. But those kisses confirmed that, you know, it wasn't just words in that moment. Then I moved from the lover characteristic to the nurturer. Many of us as men, we believe that being a nurturer is a feminine attribute first and foremost. We are supposed to be human. Masculine and feminine are just adjectives. All right? Being masculine means you exude strength, boldness and aggression, which we have to have. And so if I'm a nurturer, does that mean I'm feminine. No. The goal for us as humans is to be human, to exercise humanity. Many of the greatest coaches are nurturers. Cattle herders, farmers are nurturers. Any teacher, mentor, you're a nurturer. You have to nurture to develop anything. And then from the nurturer, I go to the gentleman when I discovered I unpacked chivalry. We have been misled to believe that that's a system to pander to women. It's not. It was actually a code of honor for medieval knights, warriors. And so how do we relinquish that? We relinquish that. Then I go to unpack the alpha male myth. Like there is no battle between two wolves to see who will lead the wolf pack. First and foremost. That study was done on wolves in captivity. What they come to realize is that the leaders or the alphas in this pack were the male and female wolf. So, in essence, in a human sense, the alphas are the husband and wife leading a family. So I tell my brothers, look, if you really want to be an alpha, get married, lead your family, build the community. And that's what it's about. So from the gentleman, I go to the friend. Many of us, we say we're friends, but we don't understand really what that mean. Like you say, how be Simone? She sacrifices her life for you guys, you know, her time. And I give an example of the Winnie the Pooh series, you know, where you'll see Eeyore clearly depressed or always in a bad mood or in the funk, sad. Did his friends say, you toxic? I'm gonna put up a boundary here. You're ruining my energy. No, they always accepted him for who he was because they knew he was their friend. And that's what we need now in times like this is a friend who will endure all adversity and challenge. So from those characteristics, I go to the devotion. The first is the husband. What does it look like to sacrificially love your wife and honor her the way that you want to be honored? And that's why I really take time to help men unpack their emotions and how we allow the way we were raised to prevent us from truly living from our hearts and giving our all to our wives. You know, we stay guarded and often say, brothers, there is no freedom in the facade. And as a man been married 26 years, because of the way I grew up, I still have to fight to hold my wife's hand in public or to be romantic, because it was like, I'm Dropping my guard. And so that's something I'm still working to improve on in the last two, of course, is the father. You know, I can't tell you how many times as a father I passed down the harshness of my dad onto my own daughter. And as a result of that, you know, we had to go through a lot of therapy, prayer, and a lot of I'm sorrys for me to say, hey, Lex, I apologize for passing on to you what I got from my dad, and I'll make it better. And so the father is helping men learn how to parent not from what we didn't get from our fathers, but give our children what we long for. And the last one, I close with the son characteristic, because that's the one that made me into a comprehensive man. I tell men all the time, if you want to become comprehensive, run to the areas in your life that make you feel what they would say are unmasculine emotions. This world, this society, is in dire need of a man's nurturing love, our patience. What does long suffering look like from a man? So when I had to care for my mother, she needed more than a protectant provider. She needed someone who would nurture her, who would file her nails when the caregiver couldn't paint her nails, wash her hair, wash her. And I couldn't do that the way I was. And so I end with that one, because it puts men in positions where we have to be transparent. How many of us have, you know, family members that aging parents or children in the community that bring out emotions that make you feel weak or sad? Those are. That's. Those are not times we run from as men. That's when you. What they would say, man up. That's when you use the masculine attributes, run towards that. Move past your fears of being transparent or perceived as weak because you may shed a tear or you may share empathy and be the man you need to be in that moment for those in need.
- [13:28]
Jason Wilson
Very intentional, like a very intentional person about what you wrote. I imagine that a lot of this was written from your personal experience.
- [13:36]
Justina Valentine
Absolutely.
- [13:37]
Jason Wilson
Right. Okay. And would you feel like the husband part did that. Did. Did all of that transpire within, like, the 26 years or. Were you ever married before or.
- [13:49]
Justina Valentine
That's a good question. I wasn't married before, thankfully. But, um, I mean, you know, 2015, I think we got married in 1998. So in 2015, my wife and I were considering separation because I was only a masculine male. I could only express my emotions through hitting the table, hitting the refrigerator, raising my voice, lacking the control needed to really communicate with her. And so that's when I realized that I needed some help, that I was holding on to a lot of trauma, unresolved anger from my father wound, the death of my both of my brothers, my best friend, I could go down the line. And I got tired of allowing that trauma to time travel and ruin my present blessings. And so the husband chapter, basically, it shares how I evolved, but even who I am now that it's constantly a fight. We married, you know what I mean? You got to make sure your heart is there. I keep a picture of my wife and my phone when she was young, during a time when she was very vulnerable, when she didn't feel things were stable in her own life. And that keeps my heart tender towards her in the moments when we may not get along. And so I also share an analogy of the crayons for men. So we can be pract, have a practical understanding of how we're so limited in who we are as men. We've allowed society to define us. So I use a 64 box of crayons as the amount of emotions women have access to will actually choose to express because we both have access to both of them. But we as men, we lock ourselves in the eight box of crayons and we probably only express four. So we get frustrated when we're communicating with our women. Like, why don't you understand me? Well, my brother, she's expressing violet. All you got is purple. She's expressing lime. Now you got to grab a green and a yellow to try to meet the moment. And so I'm encouraging men, like, look, I'm not telling you to relinquish your masculine attributes because then now you'll be deficient in that area. You got to be the lion and the lamb. And so what I'm telling men is to be human, express what you feel. All of us as men want to be more available, want to be more transparent, want to be more emotionally open. But we fear being admonished or impassively dismissed by those that we love. So then we go into suffering and silence, and then that leads to emotional incarceration, then that leads to suicidal ideations, and then our wives don't even know what we were dealing with until they plan in our funerals. And so that's why I pour my heart into this book. Because, I mean, just recently, brother, my best close friend called me and said, you know, for the first time, he looked at his gun and thought about it. And so this is what a lot of men are going through. But when you meet him, he's smiling, he's jovial, he's happy. And so what's the saying? Don't miss the forest for the trees. I'm telling people, not just our wives, but the brothers who have friends, don't miss the struggle for the smile. Just cause a brother says I'm good, I'm all right, doesn't mean that he's good. And we should check on each other.
- [17:00]
DJ Envy
I do have two questions. Something you said. One was you talked about your relationship with your daughter and you said, not sure the term you used. I guess you had to apologize or change because what you learned from your father, you were teaching your daughter and you realized it was wrong. What was that?
- [17:17]
Justina Valentine
My father, I had no idea at the time that he had a lot of unresolved anger from the way he was raised in the south. Had to deal with a lot of racism and he carried that back to Detroit. And I mean, I remember one time, brother, he asked me, he ran a barber shop, he asked me just simply to cut the arrow on. I accidentally cut the heat on. I think I may have been 10 years old. He cursed me out in front of everybody in the barbershop. That right there shattered my confidence as a man. It demeaned me and it didn't stop there. He loved me, but he thought giving me gifts.
- [17:52]
Charlamagne Tha God
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- [18:55]
DJ Envy
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- [19:35]
Charlamagne Tha God
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- [19:51]
DJ Envy
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- [20:36]
Justina Valentine
Hey fam, if you're like me, you're thinking about how to level up in your career. Maybe you're fresh out of college, just starting in your field, or even looking to switch things up and find your true calling. Whatever stage you're in, remember that this is your time to grow, to learn, and to build something that lasts. State Farm understands that early career development is key to long term success. They've been a steady presence in our communities and they know that having the right support early on can make all the difference State Farm is there to help you make smart moves and to help you get the coverage you need. We all know that the journey to success is a marathon, not a sprint. It's about staying focused, staying grounded, and making sure you're protected every step of the way. Let's build our careers with confidence, knowing that State Farm is there to support us, just like they've always been. Because like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Find out more@state farm.com would suffice. And it didn't. I needed him to be active in my life, but he couldn't because of all the pain that he'd been through. And so it's called intergenerational trauma, where you pass down what you've received. So before I knew it, this anger that he even had toward my mother, he said he, he told my mother one day they had gotten divorced and she accidentally opened one of his letters. Well, mailed it, came to the house and here it is. I'm going to middle school and my mother shows me her gun and her purse and she says, your father just called and said he's gonna do something to me because I opened his letter. So here it is. As a young boy trying to focus in class, I got to think about my mother's life. But that's how much anger my father had. And brother. You know, I hope my transparency free some brothers listening or watching. It's like, you know, you don't want to create a legacy of wounds. You want to fight and do whatever you can to get healed. Because if not now you're going to see that same behavior in your children. Then you're mad at them and all they did was become who you were.
- [22:43]
Charlamagne Tha God
That's why I think apologizing to your kids is so important. Because that's something that I feel like I never got from my father. And I always say my father raised me out of fear and not love. And I think that's what we gotta avoid doing, raising our kids out of fear. I mean, we gotta raise our kids out of love and not fear. The fear of that they might end up falling victim to the street or end up, if we were in the street doing the same things that we were doing, we gotta relinquish that.
- [23:10]
Justina Valentine
That's true. I call it fear based parenting. You know, my mother was that way, which is understandably, I understand why she was. Because she just lost a son, you know, and then my other brother from my father, he was murdered. So she, she was terrified that I would die the same way and because of that fear, she had checked out, you know, meaning the affirmation that you typically get from your mother, the nurturing. I didn't get that my mother loved me. Like everyone who knew my mother knew she loved me. But I realized in therapy one session, when the therapist asked me who would get the band aid when you got hurt, and I said, I will, my mother would just tell me where it was. And in that moment, I realized, man, this is why I'm misusing women. Because I never understood the importance of having my mother, the understanding of what nurturing is, the value with the affirmation. And I unpacked the mother wound as well in that book, because many of us, what we're seeking is the love for my mothers and women, and they'll never be able to match what we didn't get, and it's unfair to them. And so I had to unpack all of that, brother, because I didn't want to transfer that onto my children. And so I've allowed myself to be more tender in that area. My son by far has the best father because I've become the embodiment of what I teach. And so to your point, yes, absolutely important for us as parents to not be fear based, especially my son's. But he's driving now. Why do I have to teach him how to get pulled over by the police? Why am I focused on that? What is that teaching him? Is that really making it better or is it making it worse when he gets pulled over? But those are the things, you know, we have to teach in our community. But at the end of the day, making sure you balance that with some positive reinforcement and to teach them that, how to live in a moment. Because when we teach our children, we gotta understand we're also teaching them how to miss the moment because they're programming themselves like, okay, if this happened, this probably gonna happen, because that happened to dad, that happened to mom, it's probably gonna happen to me. And so in that moment, if they're not open to. To be able to meet the moment, to do what's necessary, they may fail in that moment.
- [25:32]
Jason Wilson
Now, I know you're.
- [25:33]
DJ Envy
Oh, one last question. You talk about turning it off, right? And this is important because I see it with Jess, I see it with myself, and I see it with a lot of other brothers. Talk about the importance of turning it off, right? I think we come from a place where we had to get it right. And if you listen to Jess story, Jess, tell your times where the lights were off and so I know for herself, it's. It's hard to turn things down now because you never want to go back to that place. I feel the same way. And a lot of my friends around me feel the same way. It's like we can't stop because you never know when it's over. So talk about the importance of that. Because you said, you know, beginning of the year, you had to turn it off. And for some, it's difficult to turn it off. I mean, I seen just recently in the hospital still doing stories, because it's like, it's hard to turn the shit off.
- [26:19]
Justina Valentine
That's real, brother, for me. You know, I remember the concept of balanced life. We hear that a lot. You know, for me, Envy, I live an imbalanced life. So the things that hold the greatest importance must always tip the scale. So when you live a balanced life, nothing truly claims priority. So for me, it's my. It's of course, the most high. My family, my calling, my health. See, when it's leveled, everything gets the same attention. So I tell people, make sure that scale always tips in favor of what matters the most. When I started living that way and stopped living from what I do, stop living from fear again, not having. I understand that, brother. I stopped worrying about those things and realizing I can only do so much, man. And then what's most important is to ask yourself, why am I doing this? You know, so many of us, especially in the era of social media and how everything is broadcast and content creation, it's like our lives are becoming that instead of, you know, really being authentic. And it's like, no, I'm in. I'm pregnant. I don't have time to do this and just let people know that. But when we allow society to say, hey, Envy, I need you to do this, you demand. You got to do this and promote this. Can you go here, man? Your life feels like it's not worth living, you know, And I often tell men, you're not tired of living, you're tired of not living. And the same thing with our women. So many of our sisters have to be so strong that they can't even be human either. They can't cry. They gotta work. Am I right?
- [27:56]
Jason Wilson
Yeah.
- [27:57]
Justina Valentine
And so as even for them, I'm like, man, I hope we never lose a woman's empathy and love. This world is over. When she has to become stoic and hide behind a facade, we can forget about it. And so, you know, my freedom started when I started prioritizing what mattered the most. Everything else I Let it, you know, end where it may. But my identity is first in the most high, in Christ. After that, man, my affirmation come from my home, man. And so if I could. If I could shut down now, I'm cool. I was sad when Covid was over because that meant I had to go back to the norm. I couldn't be with my family all day. You see what I'm saying? And so I just tell people to live from that. Make sure that don't live a balanced life. Make sure the skill always tips in favor of what you love and matters the most. That's right. Yes.
- [28:51]
DJ Envy
You had a question?
- [28:51]
Jason Wilson
I did. I had one more question. Because you seem like you've done the self work to be all of these, to play all of these roles, the husband, the son, the father. But, you know, you're still not perfect and you still can fall short at times as well. What happens when, like, you know, if you're mad as a dad one day and you react the wrong way? Is it ever a point where the husband has to talk to the husband, you are. Have to speak to the father, or you have to relate to your kids on a son level because you're somebody's son. Do you ever merge the roles to. You know what I'm saying? Like, pull from different places?
- [29:30]
Justina Valentine
Absolutely.
- [29:30]
Jason Wilson
Because you can't always operate in the movement.
- [29:32]
Justina Valentine
Yeah, I agree with you. No, absolutely. I morph between all of them again. I remember the mental wealth expo when the brother asked me, how do you define a man? I said, you can't. And so I have to be anything and everything at any given moment. And so to your point, Charlemagne, I always reconcile. I tell brothers, we can always make mistakes. Mistakes are great teachers. The only worst mistake is the one we don't learn from. And so I always apologize immediately. I try to reconcile and make sure that, you know, the day doesn't end with me and my children being at Oz or even me and my wife, because it's not that deep, you know. And so, yeah, even with my son, you know, when he doesn't want to talk, he's a teenager, and I'm concerned. I don't want to invade his space because he has his own life, but I want to let him know that I'm here for him. So some days I just walk to his room door and I see him laying there, maybe on his phone, and I say, son, do you mind if I just lay down in the room and read, ask for his permission? He typically always say, sure, dad. And I Lay down. And that opens the door to a conversation and lets him know that he's very important to me. Not what I do, not who I am in society, but who I am in at home. And I prioritize that. And being the son in that moment to him is giving him what I wanted as a son. If my father would have gave me that attention, that affirmation, I probably would be even further in life than I am now. And so I make sure I'm there for him in all aspects that I can.
- [31:06]
Charlamagne Tha God
I got two quick questions, because I know you gotta go. You removed the word vulnerable from the book completely?
- [31:13]
Justina Valentine
Yes.
- [31:13]
Charlamagne Tha God
What. What. What words can we use? Number one, why did you do that? What words can we use just instead of vulnerable?
- [31:19]
Justina Valentine
When I discovered that when I read the dictionary, the word itself means susceptible to harm, danger, or even death. And so when you think about being in a vulnerable situation or you hear it on the news, vulnerable citizens were defenseless against a gunman. No good man ever wants to be vulnerable. I don't want my wife, my children, or anyone I love in a vulnerable position. So we're trying to tell men is to be emotionally open, to be transparent with how you feel. And that way, it's a doorway to you becoming more human, becoming more of a verbal process or an emotionally, emotionally intelligent. And that's why I took the word out. That's why it's so hard for us as brothers to say it, because it goes against the way we were created as men. We don't want anyone that we love to be in a vulnerable position. However, what is hindering us as men is that we're not emotionally open with those who love us. And so as a result of that, we. The suffering and silence piece is really taking us down. And so I just encourage, by being the example of being transparent and emotionally open and showing my men that just because you can express how you feel doesn't mean you'll be taken advantage of. And if someone misuses your emotions, be thankful. Now you know who's in front of you, and you got a decision to make.
- [32:40]
Charlamagne Tha God
My last question, because I love when you talk about your relationship with your wife. And I saw a video where you said, happy wife, happy life isn't about love. What is it about?
- [32:49]
Justina Valentine
Well, you know, it never was a term of endearment. We know that as men. It was a way. What was it saying? Give her what she want, Keep her mouth shut so you can have peace. All right? And now women are realizing this is not a happy life for Neither of us. And so I call it a misleading mantra, brother. And it's another one, too, if you're out with your wife. This happened to me a few times. I'm addressed as the lesser half and she's the better half. So I had no idea until I was meeting with a psychologist. Well, no, a psychotherapist of what that does to a man's mind, that you are the lesser half and the resentment that silently builds within your heart. And so my wife and I vowed not to use that mantra ever. So instead, Nicole and I say, happy houses, happy spouses. And it takes for both of us to meet the moment in marriage together, every moment. We're always willing to cross the line. If she's not doing well, mentally and emotionally, I have to cross the line. If I'm falling short, like you were saying, Jess, she crosses the line. And that's why our marriage is. We call it a beautiful struggle. We're pushing through. We won't give up on each other. And the biggest game changer was when we both decided that we know we're not intentionally hurting each other. There has to be just some miscommunication, and let's be patient and work through it. And we're going on 27 years this year and 33 years together. Congratulations, man. Yeah. Thank you, brother.
- [34:18]
DJ Envy
Well, there you have it. Pick up the new book out now.
- [34:20]
Charlamagne Tha God
Jason Cat Daddy Wilson. Demand the moment demands.
- [34:26]
DJ Envy
The Breakfast Club going morning.
- [34:28]
Charlamagne Tha God
Wake that ass up early in the morning.
- [34:30]
Justina Valentine
The Breakfast club.
- [34:36]
Jason Wilson
On Saturday, February 22nd at 1:30pm Eastern. It's the Pro Volleyball Federation's first All Star match.
- [34:43]
Justina Valentine
The league's biggest stars will clash in.
- [34:45]
Jason Wilson
A can't miss event hosted in the indie metro area, home of the indie Ignite. Catch every serve, spike and save live on cbs. Yes, don't miss this historic showdown of volleyball's finest. The Pro Volleyball Federation all star match on February 22nd at 1:30pm Be there.
- [35:05]
Justina Valentine
Hi, I'm Arturo Castro, and I've been.
- [35:08]
DJ Envy
Lucky enough to do stuff like Broad.
- [35:09]
Justina Valentine
City and Narcos and Roadhouse. And now I'm starting a podcast because, honestly, guys, I don't feel the space is crowded enough.
- [35:16]
Charlamagne Tha God
Get ready for Greatest Escapes, a new.
- [35:18]
Justina Valentine
Comedy podcast about the wildest true escape stories in history. Each week, I'll be sitting down with some of the most hilarious actors and writers and comedians, people like Ed Helms.
- [35:27]
Charlamagne Tha God
Diane Guerrero, and Joseph Gordon Levitt.
- [35:29]
Justina Valentine
I love storytelling and I love you. So I can't wait. Listen and subscribe to Greatest escapes on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. $1.4 billion in NFL quarterback contracts the untold stories behind the biggest deals in football history. I'm AJ Stephens, vice president of client strategy at Athletes first, introducing the Athletes First Family podcast, the Quarterback series. My co host, Brian Murphy, Athletes first CEO, and I are sitting down with the agents who have negotiated contracts for Justin Herbert, Deshaun Watson, Dak Prescott, Tua Tugnovailoa, and Jordan Love. Listen to Athletes First Family Podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. We want to speak out and we want this to stop. Wow. Very powerful. I'm Ellie Flynn, an investigative journalist, and this is my journey deep into the adult entertainment industry.
- [36:23]
Jason Wilson
I really wanted to be a Playboy model.
- [36:25]
Justina Valentine
He was like, I'll take you to the top. I'll make you a star. To expose an alleged predator and the rotten industry he works in. It's honestly so much worse than I had anticipated. We're an army in comparison to him. From Novel.
- [36:38]
DJ Envy
Listen to the Bunny trap on the.
- [36:39]
Justina Valentine
Iheartradio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.