INTERVIEW: Lil Rel, Tabitha Brown, Reagan Gomez & Anna Maria Horsford Talk 'Unexpected Christmas', Family +More

Summary

The Breakfast Club – INTERVIEW: Lil Rel, Tabitha Brown, Reagan Gomez & Anna Maria Horsford on 'Unexpected Christmas', Family, and More

Podcast: The Breakfast Club (iHeartPodcasts)
Date: November 7, 2025
Guests: Lil Rel, Tabitha Brown, Reagan Gomez, Anna Maria Horsford
Hosts: DJ Envy, Jess Hilarious, Charlamagne Tha God, Ashley Nicole Moss, Cam Newton

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Breakfast Club spotlights the cast of the new holiday film "Unexpected Christmas." Guests Lil Rel, Tabitha Brown, Reagan Gomez, and Anna Maria Horsford engage in an open and often hilarious conversation with the hosts about the film, black family dynamics, generational wisdom, parenting, forgiveness, and personal growth. The episode blends promotion with heartfelt stories, honest reflections, and plenty of memorable moments.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. About the Movie "Unexpected Christmas"

(03:00–03:55)

• The film is described as a unique Christmas movie combining humor, drama, love, and food, differing from typical holiday films.
• The cast emphasizes its relatable depiction of family, generational dynamics, and the importance of healthy drama and resolution.
• Cam Newton: “It is a beautiful movie. It's really funny... It's healthy drama. It has love in it. It has faith in it. It’s just…a different twist than you’ve seen in other Christmas movies.” (03:23)

2. The Nature of Family Drama in Black Households

(04:06–04:42)

• Charlamagne asks, “Why does black family movies gotta have so much drama?”
• Cam bluntly replies, “Because black families got so much drama.”
• Reagan Gomez notes the realness of people only resolving issues at holiday gatherings: “People come home for the holidays, and you might not have seen your family all year…now you see them at the table, it's like, oh, we're gonna talk about this right now. That's life.” (04:18)

3. Cultural & Generational Connections

(06:02–07:37)

• Anna Maria Horsford talks about staying connected to every generation by being authentically herself:
  “I think being your authentic self, that they know there's something true...I usually tell the truth when everybody else is quiet.” (06:14)
• She shares stories of childhood honesty and why she believes her longevity in the industry comes from honesty and being real.

4. Honoring Longevity and Lessons Learned

(07:51–09:17)

• The cast discusses what they've learned from Anna Maria Horsford both on and off set:
  • Tabitha Brown: “Being your authentic self promotes longevity…she [Anna Maria] is an icon for so many of us.” (08:11)
  • Cam Newton highlights the nonverbal comedic talent Anna brings: “You just make a face…that’s a skill set too.” (09:17)

5. Industry Wisdom & Staying True to Yourself

(11:17–12:59)

• Anna Maria Horsford reflects on the necessity of not letting others' definitions, racism, or expectations distract from one’s purpose and journey:
  “You can't be distracted by racism. Other people's definition of you. Your truth. If you just know that you are here for purpose. And nobody can take that from you.” (11:17)
• She stresses that every opportunity brings both professional and personal connections.

6. Choosing Roles with Integrity

(13:04–15:04)

• Anna Maria on being selective with roles:
  “You have a brand, even if you don't know you have a brand. And my brand is kind of decent human being who's honest… I've gone up for things. I said, this is not me. Not me. No, no. My people won't believe it. And I don't believe it.” (14:18)
• She believes that acting is about more than roles—it's about divine encounters and influencing others.

7. Parent-Child Relationships & Generational Growth

(16:50–18:33, 21:29–24:13)

• Reagan Gomez appreciates the film’s depiction of parents listening and apologizing:
  “One of the things that I love is…[the mother] listens and apologizes. And that is something that I really hope folks take away from this. You can always apologize and do better.” (16:50)
• Discussions about parents' lives before children and the evolution of family roles as children and parents age.

8. Breaking Family Patterns & Parenting Today

(30:16–31:53)

• The group reflects on letting children ask “why,” finding balance between respect and open communication, and not repeating generational patterns of strict or fear-based parenting.
• Ashley Nicole Moss: “I let him, as I'm raising him, ask questions…I'm trying to find a balance.” (30:59)

9. Navigating Generational Wealth & Support

(28:53–29:41)

• Jokes about family members asking for money once someone in the family becomes successful, and learning to say no while being supportive.

10. Father-Daughter & Mother-Daughter Dynamics

(34:05–41:08)

• Emotional stories about the bonds between daughters and fathers, and how these shape confidence, boundaries, and expectations:
  Ashley Nicole Moss: “My daddy didn’t have no sons, he just had two girls. So he taught me a lot of things that you would teach, you know, quote unquote, boys, right?...He taught me how to be loved by a man.” (36:59)
• Anna Maria Horsford reflects on the sense of security her father gave her growing up, reinforcing the need for children to feel the presence of both parents.

11. On Forgiveness in Families

(46:00–49:04)

• The group discusses whether all family members should be forgiven:
  • Ashley Nicole Moss: “Forgiveness even in family doesn't mean we have to be together…it just means I have forgiven you and I'm gonna go about my business.” (46:16)
  • Cam Newton emphasizes letting go: “You gotta move…you can't sit in that… I forgive you and we ain't gotta talk again.” (48:32)

12. Co-Parenting and Step-Family Relationships

(43:21–45:41)

• Anna Maria Horsford notes the importance of not letting adult conflicts get in the way of children’s relationships with both parents.
• Cam Newton reflects on the humility and growth co-parenting can require: “Co-parenting is such a…humbling experience where you have to take your personal feelings out of it for the ego. It has to go.” (44:58)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Anna Maria Horsford: “My brand is kind of decent human being who's honest. Even if the line is, I have gone up for things. I said, this is not me. No, no. My people won't believe it. And I don't believe it.” (14:18)
• Charlamagne Tha God: “One of my first breakthroughs in therapy was realizing that my dad used to discipline me for things he never taught me. And once I realized all that, it gave me a level of grace for him that I didn’t even know I had.” (19:51)
• Reagan Gomez: “We always look at [our children] as ours…But they grow up and they grow into their own people. And then one day, you need their help. You need their advice.” (24:13)
• Ashley Nicole Moss: “Forgiveness is not for the other person, it’s for you…it doesn’t mean that you have to be back in my life. It just means I have forgiven you and I’m gonna go about my business.” (46:16)
• Anna Maria Horsford: “Parenthood is a two party check…a check that has to be signed by mommy and daddy, whether you know them or not…The Child needs those two signatures.” (39:08)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [03:00] – Introduction to "Unexpected Christmas" and the cast's take on its uniqueness
• [04:06] – Real talk about drama in Black family movies and households
• [06:14] – Anna Maria Horsford on authenticity and generational connection
• [08:01] – Cast shares lessons learned from working with Anna Maria
• [11:17] – Anna Maria on longevity, self-worth, and ignoring outside definitions
• [13:04] – Discussion of choices in acting roles and maintaining integrity
• [16:50] – Reagan Gomez on the importance of parents apologizing to children
• [19:51] – Charlamagne’s personal breakthrough with his father
• [24:13] – How parental and child roles shift as parents age
• [30:16] – Evolving approaches to parenting and breaking generational cycles
• [34:05] – Emotional depth in parent-child bonds, especially daughters and fathers
• [46:00] – Should family always be forgiven?
• [49:35] – Final reflections and signoff

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Tone & Style

• Warm, honest, playful, and occasionally deeply emotional.
• Generational wisdom, candid confessions, laughter, and moments of heartfelt vulnerability.
• The dynamic between cast and hosts feels familial, supportive, and real.

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Summary

This Breakfast Club episode, featuring the cast of "Unexpected Christmas," offers more than a film promotion. The conversation is layered with real talk about Black family life, parenting, career longevity, forgiveness, and breaking generational patterns. Guests and hosts alike share stories and laughs, with Anna Maria Horsford’s wisdom and candor serving as the emotional anchor. The insights around authenticity, evolving family roles, co-parenting, and the transformative power of forgiveness resonate as universal themes for listeners heading into the holiday season or navigating family challenges year-round.

Transcript

[Reagan Gomez]

This is an iHeart podcast.

[State Farm Ad Voice]

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[Ashley Nicole Moss]

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[Charlamagne tha God]

Peace to the Planet Charlamagne the Godhead We've got a new movie to put y' all on too. Sarah's Oil. It's based on the true story of Sarah Rector, one of the first black female millionaires in America. She the film follows young Sarah who inherits 160 acres of land in the early 1900s. And yeah, there might just be oil on it. With her faith, family and hustle, she works to claim what's hers. It's inspiring, it's heartwarming. And it's a story worth seeing. Sarah's Oil is now playing in theaters everywhere.

[DJ Envy]

On ebay. Every find has a story. Like if you're looking for a vintage band tee. Not just a tee. The band tee you wore everywhere until your ex girl stole it. Now you're on ebay. And there it is. Same tea from the same tour. The things you love have a way of Finding their way back to you, especially on ebay. Where else can you find that mint sign baseball card you've been searching everywhere for? Or your first car, the one you wish you never sold? Shop ebay for millions of fines, each with a story. EBay. Things people love.

[State Farm Ad Voice]

Hold up.

[Charlamagne tha God]

Every day, I wake up.

[Cam Newton]

Wake your ass up.

[Charlamagne tha God]

The Breakfast Club.

[Ashley Nicole Moss]

Are y' all finished or y' all done?

[DJ Envy]

Morning, everybody. It's DJ Envy. Just hilarious. Charlamagne, the guy. We are the Breakfast Club. We got some special guests and family members with us this morning.

[Charlamagne tha God]

Yes, indeed.

[Anna Marie Horsford]

We got Lil Rel.

[DJ Envy]

He's back here.

[Cam Newton]

What up, Lil Rel?

[DJ Envy]

We have Reagan Gomez, Tabitha Brown, and Anna Marie Horsford. Welcome.

[Reagan Gomez]

Thanks for having us.

[DJ Envy]

New movie, unexpected Christmas.

[Reagan Gomez]

That's right.

[DJ Envy]

Now, this movie takes a lot of turns.

[Anna Marie Horsford]

Yes, it does.

[DJ Envy]

It takes a lot of turns. We'll break down the movie because it comes out this Friday. For people that want to go check this movie out, what are they expected in this unexpected Christmas movie?

[Ashley Nicole Moss]

Without giving it away, though.

[Cam Newton]

Yeah. But it's tough, this one. It tells a lot. It's such a conversation piece. And, like, I have me playing Richard is. I kind of got his back most of the time. So I'm trying not to say stuff without telling people. But it is a beautiful movie. It's really funny. It's a lot of drama in it. But the drama end up making sense, and then people come. It's healthy drama. It has love in it. It has faith in it. It's just. And it has food, but it is. This is a different twist than you've seen in other Christmas movies. And that's why I really love. That's why I wanted to do it in the first place.

[DJ Envy]

That's a little New York, a little la, you know, a little erectile dysfunction.

[Anna Marie Horsford]

Yes. Yes.

[Charlamagne tha God]

Why does black family movies got to have so much drama?

[Cam Newton]

Because black families got so much drama.

[Ashley Nicole Moss]

But as long as there's resolution, that's the problem. Right. Then that means we're making something good for the black family.

[Reagan Gomez]

That's the part. And, you know, people come home for the holidays, and you might not have seen your family all year, and you've been mad at them about something, but now you see them at the table, it's like, oh, we're gonna talk about this right now. That's life.

[Ashley Nicole Moss]

And that's about to come up. Cause we got a few more weeks. We got Thanksgiving.

[Reagan Gomez]

Yeah.

[Ashley Nicole Moss]

Some conversations I need to have with my family.

[Reagan Gomez]

There you go.

[Ashley Nicole Moss]

You know, so this movie gonna help me do that.

[Reagan Gomez]

That's right.

[Ashley Nicole Moss]

It's a healthy, healthy drama. Absolutely.

[Anna Marie Horsford]

Well, don't bring a lot of company with you if you want to tell the truth, because black people don't like telling.

[DJ Envy]

Oh, she got a new whole family on the other side.

[Reagan Gomez]

Okay.

[Ashley Nicole Moss]

Yeah, because my. My. My husband is half Mexican, so they all.

[Charlamagne tha God]

So you can imagine the drama at the holidays.

[Anna Marie Horsford]

You won't know what they say about. I got one Spanish word for this.

[Reagan Gomez]

See, that's why you gotta learn. You gotta learn.

[Anna Marie Horsford]

I'm trying. They have those apps now. You can put it in duol. And you don't have to tell them, you know what they're saying.

[Reagan Gomez]

There you go.

[Anna Marie Horsford]

Spanish in your ear, and I will tell you. They're gonna look at the baby, make sure it's his. Okay. You know, check the toes and the ears and stuff like that.

[Reagan Gomez]

A little bit. Not a lot.

[State Farm Ad Voice]

A little bit.

[Charlamagne tha God]

It is.

[Anna Marie Horsford]

It is, it is.

[Reagan Gomez]

But like, a lot of Puerto Ricans, a lot of us don't speak Spanish, so. Yeah, but I am. My mom's Puerto Rican for sure. Yeah, that's right. That's right.

[Charlamagne tha God]

Ms. Holtzman, looking at you like, I'm just.

[Anna Marie Horsford]

I'm just realiz. And my mother said. And I said, how come you didn't teach us Spanish? She said, in case I wanted to say something bad about your father, I want you all to know I didn't.

[Reagan Gomez]

Even know that about you.

[Anna Marie Horsford]

I got secrets.

[Charlamagne tha God]

Ms. Holmes, what I want to ask you, you've been part of so many multiple generations in this business.

[Anna Marie Horsford]

Yes. Can you believe it?

[Charlamagne tha God]

Yes, I can. How do you stay connected to, like, every generation of storytellers and audiences?

[Anna Marie Horsford]

I think being your authentic self, that they know there's something true, you know? I mean, I don't have Tourette's, but I usually tell the truth when everybody else is quiet.

[Cam Newton]

You say, I don't have Tourette's.

[Anna Marie Horsford]

But, you know, there were always children who would say something and you would look, you know, it was one time, my mother took me to this friend's house, and I said, excuse me. Do you know you walk like a woman? And my mother said, her hand was so close to my face, he said, no, no. Do I. He said, show me. I said, you want me to show you how you walk? And he was a little special.

[DJ Envy]

Jesus.

[Charlamagne tha God]

What you mean, special?

[Anna Marie Horsford]

Okay, I got you. So you have k. You have kids that just say that? So somebody identifies with being a little off, you know what I mean? And my mother would say, she fell on her head before she was Born. So you have to excuse anything that comes out her mouth.

[Charlamagne tha God]

Yes, ma'.

[Anna Marie Horsford]

Am. And I said, oh. I didn't understand what it meant, but it meant she might say something that's inappropriate. And I think that's what it connects with every generation. You know, I mean, because we don't know when we do these things what the audience is like. We really don't know which movie. You know, I had no idea Friday was going to be as big as it was.

[Charlamagne tha God]

You don't know.

[Anna Marie Horsford]

It's so interesting. You don't know.

[Charlamagne tha God]

Have they called you for the new one?

[Anna Marie Horsford]

Listen, that new one, been going for 24 years. They film a year. 24 years. Okay.

[Cam Newton]

Yeah, yeah.

[Charlamagne tha God]

I want to ask. I know we here to talk about unexpected Christmas, but what have y' all learned from Ms. Horsford? Let's start with you.

[Anna Marie Horsford]

Oh, yeah.

[Charlamagne tha God]

I just need to know. I know this was fun on set.

[Ashley Nicole Moss]

It was amazing on set. The one thing I learned is I can't wait to get older and say.

[Anna Marie Horsford]

Whatever I really want. Right, baby? That's right, baby.

[Reagan Gomez]

That's right.

[Ashley Nicole Moss]

Because all people just laugh and they be like, she's so. Oh, she's so cute.

[Reagan Gomez]

She don't ever lie.

[Ashley Nicole Moss]

You know, she don't lie. She ain't got Tourette's, but she tell the truth. Okay. That's what she said. But also, like, what she just said, being your authentic self promotes longevity. Right? I met her. We met, like, 20, maybe, like 24 years ago. And I was living in North Carolina and went to a theater festival in Atlanta with a mentor, and he introduced me to her, and she was so kind to me. And she told me then, you just gotta keep, you know, being consistent. Keep pursuing it, and one day it'll happen. And so when I saw her on set, I reminded her that I had met her. I was completely different then. You know, I had some little locks in my hair. I was, like, straight out of, you know, coming from Greensboro, hosting. And it was just, like. It was surreal for me to, like, be on the set with someone who I consider, like, a living legend. She's an icon for so many of us. But, yeah, I say longevity is one of the things that I've been blessed to witness with you.

[Charlamagne tha God]

How about you, brother?

[Cam Newton]

You know something? So we did Vacation Friends together. She played my mom. And, you know, my mother, one of her favorite shows was Amen, right? And so, like, working with her was, like, neck. Like, I didn't realize how funny she was. And she ended up. You don't notice but when we shoot Vacation Friends, you literally did something like my mom. It wasn't in the script. I think I was like. My character was acting like he was kind of embarrassed. And he's like, so if you embarrassed about me, I just go home then. But it was almost surreal to witness that.

[Charlamagne tha God]

Oh, wow.

[Cam Newton]

But like she. Some people just got it. You know what I'm saying? And so just being on set with you and just watching you do this thing where you don't even have to say words. You could just make a face. And to me, that's a skill set too. I think like somebody like you and David Alan Greer, who I look at, that people just make their reactions is more than a word. And so that's one of the things I learned from just working with you. But also you just amazing. And you so honest, you make me laugh. I don't know what she's gonna say half the time.

[Anna Marie Horsford]

And I love that.

[Ashley Nicole Moss]

That's what I love too.

[Charlamagne tha God]

What about you, Ray?

[Reagan Gomez]

Well, I met Ms. Anna when I was 14 years old. The parenthood and the Waynes brothers started off the WB network back in the day. So I've known her for the majority of my career. 30 years in my career. And what Tabitha said is so true. Like, Ms. Anna reminds me of that time when I was around Robert Townsend and all of these folks who have been grinding since the 60s and the 70s and the lessons that they give us. Like, she is a treasure, a national treasure. And I've never worked with her. So this has just been amazing. You being my mama.

[Anna Marie Horsford]

That's right. That's right. And father was nice. Listen, one thing she gonna do is.

[Ashley Nicole Moss]

Check out her father. Cause she told me, she was like, ain't your daddy nice to tell him you say hi.

[Charlamagne tha God]

So, Ms. Holster, what's the biggest lesson you try to instill in just people about longevity and grace?

[Anna Marie Horsford]

I think you can't be distracted by racism. Other people's definition of you. Your truth. If you just know that you are here for purpose. And nobody can take that from you. You know what I'm saying? When people say, you didn't get your flowers. I got my flowers, you know, because I've been working much longer. I asked God for one. I said, just prove to me that I'm an actress. Give me one job. Because, you know, nobody believed it except your mother at first. And then you get the one job and you say, oh, well, that wasn't bad. And then you get another. And then I still. Every time I get a job, it's like the first one.

[State Farm Ad Voice]

Really?

[Anna Marie Horsford]

Yeah. Because somebody believes in you. I mean, somebody. It's not hard, you know, and you look at other people. I was telling Jess I was following her for years. I'm saying, oh, she's so wonderful and this. And I really feel it because, you know, say, look at that. And something you didn't think of. But, you know, it's the truth. And I think if you just understand that we are in a world that there's enough for everybody. Everybody can have 500 fans. Well, now you got more than 500. You can have, you know, millions or whatever. But just know that even if you don't believe in a higher force, there are people watching you in your neighborhood. Your parents, your godparents. Somebody's watching you. And just make sure you feel good at the end of the night. You know what I mean? When people talk about race. Ah, forget that. You know, we got a story to tell. Ain't no mistakes.

[DJ Envy]

How do you decide what parts you pick? Because when you pick your roles, they are not the same.

[Cam Newton]

Amen.

[DJ Envy]

It's not like Friday, which is not.

[Anna Marie Horsford]

Like I was a virtuous woman, okay? And somebody tried to sell a nasty story. And I said, what? The editor called, my press agent said, somebody is trying to say a terrible story about her. I said, that is not true. So you better pick the roles that people, you know. Cause people really believe black people now, I don't know about white people. Black people believe every goddamn thing. Every single dude. There is no division between reality and tv. How's your husband? And I do stay in touch with Clifton. I said, he's fine. I got a new husband now in this movie. Rico's my new husband. A few other husbands in between. I can't remember all of them, but they're all good to me. They're all good to me. But it's just that you have a brand, even if you don't know you have a brand. And my brand is kind of decent human being who's honest. You know what I mean? Just to be honest with. Even if the line is, I have gone up for things. I said, this is not me. Not me. No, no. My people won't believe it. And I don't believe it.

[Charlamagne tha God]

Even in acting, though.

[Anna Marie Horsford]

Even in acting. No, there's one. And I just said, mm, mm, I can't. I said, the words can't even come out my mouth. You know, it was low, low, low, and somebody else got it. A friend of mine. And I was happy for her. But no, everything Is not for you. I always believe that. What we get, the roles we get, it's somebody else that you're supposed to meet there. It's not just the role. God gives everybody a. The talent is so that you can use to get to affect the people you're supposed to meet along that road. But if I'm supposed to go to Georgia, there are other people I'm supposed to meet along the way in Georgia. It's not just the movie, you know, it's somebody else whose life I'm supposed to be affecting.

[Cam Newton]

Wow.

[Charlamagne tha God]

So on this film, who did you meet? Like, who.

[State Farm Ad Voice]

Who?

[Anna Marie Horsford]

I met all these colored people. Let me just say she had a revelation. Cause girlfriend didn't know all of this was going on. She did not know. And then I can't say because I haven't seen the completed movie yet. But there was one scene that I felt really strong and the producers allowed me to do some improvisation on it when the child comes back, you know, because children like to grow up and then kind of read their parents and tell them everything they did wrong. You're all shaking your head. Forget that. No parent want no report card.

[Charlamagne tha God]

We don't want a report card.

[Anna Marie Horsford]

We did the best we caught. We fed you, changed a nasty diaper. Listen to all that foolishness. And all I'm saying is, some things you get right, some things you don't do right. You know, you be perfect. But parent is not perfect. And when that scene came up, I said, oh, let me do a little of this. And I haven't seen it, but I hope it addresses that issue where. No, no, no. You gonna tell me. But let me just tell you a little something too, because I don't think we look. We only look from one perspective. What you didn't do for me. Well, let me tell you what you didn't do for me, you know, because nobody gives you the handbook on parenting.

[Cam Newton]

And it's still in there too. It's like all of us has been doing, like, this press run. That's one of the most important parts of the movie is, you know, I don't know who said it, but, like, all right, she's a woman too. She's a.

[Anna Marie Horsford]

Like, yeah, we're human. You're human.

[Cam Newton]

And so, like, it's still. It's. When you see it, you'll see up the tail.

[Reagan Gomez]

Okay. And, you know.

[Charlamagne tha God]

I'm sorry. Go ahead.

[Reagan Gomez]

Oh, I was gonna say one of the things that Ms. Anna was. Was talking about, and I don't want to give too much away but we're so used to our mothers and elders telling us, do what I say. Just do it. Don't ever talk back to me. But when you become an adult, you do have questions about things that happen to you. And one of the things that I love is to sing with you. And Dominique Perry, who's not here, she loves the show, too. She plays my sister. But she confronts her mother and her. Without giving too much away, her mother listens and apologizes. And that is something that I really hope folks take away from this. You can always apologize and do better. So that's one of the things I love about this film.

[Charlamagne tha God]

I apologize to my kids all the time. And I agree with everything y' all saying, because I think that we often forget our parents had a life before you all.

[Reagan Gomez]

They were just a girl and a guy.

[Anna Marie Horsford]

Yeah, that's. That's very interesting. I at one point told my parents, I said, I want to know who you were before you became my mother and father. So what I did is I went back to both of their hometowns and just to see who they were, because I said, oh. And then I interviewed them, because I didn't know. And my mother surprised me a lot. I said, how many men you had, mama? And the poor cameraman said, anna, that's your mother. I said, I know, but I wanted. And she said, three, but, you know, after. They all come out the same. They all the same. And I said, oh, okay. I said, well, what would you say if your daughter had a lot more than that? She said, if it took a hundred men to make my daughter happy, I'm happy for her. And I said, who is this woman? Who is. I mean, isn't that.

[Cam Newton]

Your dad wouldn't say that.

[Charlamagne tha God]

Brother.

[Anna Marie Horsford]

But it's just interesting because we don't know who they are.

[Reagan Gomez]

That's right.

[Anna Marie Horsford]

You know, they start. And then at a certain point, if you. If you're lucky enough to have your parents live long enough, because a lot of us lose them.

[Ashley Nicole Moss]

Yeah.

[Anna Marie Horsford]

You become the parent to this child, and you see. Oh, oh, the kindness. The kindness. You know, it's just. It's so interesting that. And I think I'm blessed and we all are blessed to be able to have a fantasy of. I want to be an actor. I want to be a performer. I want to stand on stage. And then you get to have it done. And people know you. I mean, every other black person in America, especially uptown, knows me. Girl, that's you. I said, how you know it's me? You know, it's Me, you know, it's me. And you meet them how they meet you in the house, you know? Cause I have been in your living room.

[Reagan Gomez]

That's right.

[Anna Marie Horsford]

In your bedroom, all over on the radio, in your car, you know, for a long time. So I can't laugh or talk too loud. Cause they know me, girl, that's your boy. I knew that was you, girl, you look like yourself. I said, stop it.

[Charlamagne tha God]

This movie's gonna empower a lot of people over the holidays to have those conversations. Cause, you know, one of my first breakthroughs in therapy was realizing that my dad used to. To discipline me for things he never taught me. And so when we had a conversation and he started telling me about his own issues and how he tried to commit suicide, and he was on different medication for his mental health. Once I realized all that, it gave me a level of grace for him that I didn't even know I had.

[Anna Marie Horsford]

Lucky, if we get a chance to look at them like that, That's.

[Reagan Gomez]

Wow.

[Cam Newton]

But also have a conversation with. That's one of my struggles now is that my dad has dementia, and it's like going through therapy and recognizing some mom, like, dang, he wasn't. I had to get to a point where I understood. Not even just my dad, just people who love me. They wasn't necessarily hating and that they didn't believe in me. They was scared for me because I was taking a chance doing something nobody did. So it was more or less a protection thing. It wasn't that they ain't believe in you. They just didn't want you to be hurt. You know what I'm saying?

[Charlamagne tha God]

And so, like, go to trade school, bro.

[Reagan Gomez]

Yeah, you want to make people laugh.

[Ashley Nicole Moss]

And that's familiar to them. You know, you see people who work trades all the time. Same with, like, with me. I wanted to be an actor since I was a little girl, but we didn't know nobody in my family. So my mama was like, okay, I know you want to do that, but you also make clothes. So my great great aunt was the town seamstress. So she said, why don't you go to school for fashion design? Because if the African thing don't work out, then you'll have that. It wasn't that she was discouraging me. She was just telling me, like, we know what that looks like, and you can actually do that. So let me ask you, how would.

[DJ Envy]

You be with your kids, right? Because the same thing with me, right? My mom said, get a job with a hat. That was her thing.

[Anna Marie Horsford]

Get a Job with a hat, meaning.

[DJ Envy]

You work for 20 years, you get retirement and you're covered, Right? When I was a dj, they thought the DJ thing was cute until after I graduated from college and I still did it. They was like, I had enough snuff. But now I look at it and I'm like, I would never be that.

[Cam Newton]

Right?

[DJ Envy]

But then I look at if my son 10 years ago said, dad, I want to be a gamer. I'd be like, boy, if you don't.

[Reagan Gomez]

Get the college, it's a new one.

[Cam Newton]

When you look at some of these.

[Reagan Gomez]

Gamers, it's a new world.

[DJ Envy]

They're making 30, $40 million.

[Reagan Gomez]

You can get scholarships to college now all across.

[Anna Marie Horsford]

All around the world.

[Reagan Gomez]

Oh, yeah, it's a different world.

[Anna Marie Horsford]

And I think you have to. I mean, it's really interesting. Children, you know, when they looking for advice, I said, your voice should be louder. When God talks to you, he tells you, you know, because there's a little girl like Tabitha. I said, mommy, I gotta go to Hollywood. And I would practice walking down the steps.

[Ashley Nicole Moss]

Of course, I would fall a lot.

[Anna Marie Horsford]

Because I had on heels. And she said, your ass gonna be broken by the time you get to Hollywood.

[State Farm Ad Voice]

Damn.

[Anna Marie Horsford]

And one time I somewhere and my back was out. I said, she was right. Okay, it was a hundred years after. But God tells you what you are here for.

[Ashley Nicole Moss]

Yes, he does.

[Anna Marie Horsford]

What you were here for. And I remember one time I said, oh, my mother said, oh, you look just like a lamppost girl. And I said, oh, I'm a real actress. I was about 4 or 5. I didn't know what a lamppost girl was. It was a prostitute in Santa Domingo.

[Reagan Gomez]

But I thought, wow, lamp post girl.

[Anna Marie Horsford]

Because I had put my hat on and I had something else. And she said, oh, and I look just like a lamppost girl. And I said, she didn't know it was me. I'm a lamppost girl. No, mother, I never did. I never became one, but I acted like one. But again, God talks to you. He tells you what you came here for. There are no mistakes, even though you don't have any reference. This one wasn't that. This one wasn't that. Listen to that voice. Make that voice louder than any outside voice coming to you. Because they don't know, you know what I'm saying, why you gave them to me?

[Cam Newton]

Well, my family, I had to, like, I remember when it was, they were being combative to it. But I'm like, well, y' all raised me and told me I could do anything. So you raised me too good. So I can't listen to what you saying to me.

[Ashley Nicole Moss]

Right.

[Anna Marie Horsford]

Right.

[Cam Newton]

You know what I mean? Like, it's really interesting, but once again, it came out of fear. Right?

[Anna Marie Horsford]

Yeah.

[Cam Newton]

One of the things I love about my family is that they end up apologizing. Like, when I first moved to New York and I got my first show, they literally threw a dinner together and apologizing, proud of me. And so now to this point, they are crazy supportive. Like, you see them with l' Oreal shirts. We l' Rail family. They're all screening.

[Reagan Gomez]

You're teaching them also. And I think for our children, we always look at them as ours. Ours, little us's. But they grow up and they grow into their own people. And then one day, you need their help. You need their advice. And you realize that, oh, they're part of my community. And it does flip as your parents get older. My mother is in her 70s, and it's very much like, girl, why you.

[State Farm Ad Voice]

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[Ashley Nicole Moss]

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[State Farm Ad Voice]

Tonight at 10, 9 Central on BET, an all new episode of 106 in Sports from executive producers LeBron James and Maverick Carter. It's a new top five countdown with hosts Ashley Nicole Moss and Cam Newton. They're breaking down the top moments in sports, culture and entertainment and highlighting both established pros and the stars on the come up. Watch the all new series 106 in sports tonight at 10, 9 Central on BET or catch up the next day on BET on eBay.

[DJ Envy]

Every find has a story. Like if you're looking for a vintage band tee. Not just a tee, the band tee from the last show your favorite band ever played. You wore it everywhere. Then your girlfriend started wearing it, which was cool until she dumped you and took it with her, which was not so cool. Anyway, now you're on ebay. And there it is. Same tee from the same tour. Still living in your memory. Rent free forever. See, the things you love have a way of finding their way back to you. But ebay isn't just for getting what your ex stole back. It's also for that rare championship foul ball you caught, then heroically gave it to the kid next to you. And where else are you going to find your first car? The one you wish you never sold but now finally get the chance to take back home for good this time. You know, I'm a collector of cars and sometimes I'm looking for the right rim that I had when I was a kid. Yeah, it might have been 20 years ago, but I want that same feeling. And the only way I can find it is on ebay. Shop ebay for millions of finds, each with a story. Ebay Things people love. Today's episode is brought to you by a scent that's made a legendary comeback. The Gris original Cool Rush. The OG is back and better than ever. Cool Rush isn't just a scent. It's a movement, a fan favorite. It's the kind of fragrance that guys remember, ask for by name and rave about online. It's bold, fresh and delivers all day sweat protection with that cool, crisp vibe that made it a legend. Whether you're heading to the gym, the orifice are just trying to stay fresh on a long day. Cool Rush has your back it's the go for millions and for a good reason. So if you haven't tried it yet or if you've been waiting for a sign, this is it. Head to your local Walmart or Target and grab degree Cool Rush, the fan favorite scent from the world's number one antiperspirant brand and do what I told.

[Reagan Gomez]

You to do, you know, talking back and all of that. So life is very interesting.

[Charlamagne tha God]

And also, you're a multi millionaire now. They gonna wear T shirts that say little right now.

[Cam Newton]

Yeah, I mean, that's. But it wasn't there at first.

[Anna Marie Horsford]

But you told me you can't ask for loans either.

[DJ Envy]

There you go.

[Anna Marie Horsford]

Don't ask me for no money.

[Cam Newton]

Don't pay me that much. But it's tough. I'm good at saying no. But like, I got like that beautiful old black man in me.

[Anna Marie Horsford]

Yeah.

[Cam Newton]

People could know what I have.

[Anna Marie Horsford]

Right.

[Cam Newton]

That don't mean I'm gonna give it to you.

[Anna Marie Horsford]

Yeah, okay. But you good.

[Cam Newton]

I have strength in that. I'm good at that. I don't mind you see it.

[Anna Marie Horsford]

Yeah.

[Cam Newton]

I mean, I'm give it to you.

[Reagan Gomez]

You're gonna be a good grandfather.

[Cam Newton]

100.

[Reagan Gomez]

You're gonna be a great grandfather.

[Cam Newton]

I look forward to being a grandfather. I mean, I want nobody to get pregnant, but I do. I tell people all the time, like, yeah, I'm. I am in my old black man, cross my leg era.

[Reagan Gomez]

There you go.

[Charlamagne tha God]

Last time you said no, bro. Like, no.

[Anna Marie Horsford]

Yeah.

[Cam Newton]

I don't know. What? Yesterday, maybe? Like, I don't mind saying no. Like, I'm good. Because this thing about this, if anybody want to ask you for money or anything, be that person that I love, irritating people where they forget that they ask me. Right. Cause if you ask me, then I'm gonna have to tell you about yourself. If you come in at me, it's come like, you know something, Never mind. I don't need it. Well, why did you call me? You gonna do all that?

[Ashley Nicole Moss]

Never mind.

[Cam Newton]

That's why I respect the people that can take it. The ones that be like.

[Charlamagne tha God]

Cause y' all know it's that season.

[Anna Marie Horsford]

Oh, yeah, it's that season.

[Reagan Gomez]

Yes, it is.

[Ashley Nicole Moss]

It be the season. Year.

[Cam Newton]

It's always that season. When you.

[Ashley Nicole Moss]

It be the season year round. Reagan, I want to go back to what you were saying earlier about how we were raised. You know what I mean? And how we were. Because I was raised in two parent home. But it's like, you don't ask me why. You don't, you know, you do what I say, and that's just what it is, right? And now I have a 13 year old, right? And we weren't even allowed to ask my mom why. But I let him ask me why because he wants to know, does he.

[Reagan Gomez]

Call you bro, Bruh?

[State Farm Ad Voice]

Bruh?

[Ashley Nicole Moss]

I said, he tried.

[Reagan Gomez]

I called him bruh.

[Ashley Nicole Moss]

He had a little phase where he was bruh, you know what I mean? And then I'm like, all right, I'm gonna put you on your neck, you.

[Cam Newton]

Know what I mean?

[Ashley Nicole Moss]

But I let him, you know, as he. As I'm raising him, ask questions like, you know, Cause. And then I even talked to my mom. Like, mom, remember? We couldn't even ask you why, you know, and what she says is like, I'm sorry. Because that's how I was taught. Your grandmother taught me that, you know, and it was not abusive. It wasn't that she was trying to be mean, but they were trying to instill that, I guess, that respect, right? And some people mistake it as fear, you know. No, she didn't want me to fear her, but I feared them consequences. And so my son, now I'm trying to find a balance.

[Anna Marie Horsford]

Exactly.

[Reagan Gomez]

You don't want him to be too curious, but you need to be curious in life. You know, you're preparing him to be a young man out in the world. You don't want him to just do what people tell him to do. You want him to ask questions, you know, so you're doing all that.

[Cam Newton]

But see, you know, you gotta be careful with that rope though, man. Especially with teenagers. Because it's true, they find a balance right away.

[State Farm Ad Voice]

Yeah.

[Cam Newton]

Like, hey, fam, look, now I get it. Yeah, you're hurt, but you don't just walk off while I'm talking to you.

[Anna Marie Horsford]

Right?

[Cam Newton]

You know what I mean? But that's a part of. Because they do have a sense of. Of freedom, like, especially like a lot of us who, Who've created these better lives for our children. I mean, my daughter said something that was so real one time, and I had to own that too. I'm like. Cause, you know, you know, we got whatever our house is, and they.

[DJ Envy]

We're bored.

[Cam Newton]

I'm like, you got a pool? It's a theater. What you mean, you bored? Just, there's so much to do here. You bored? But she's like, well, Dad, I was born into this type of life, but then I had to look at it. I'm like, yeah, it is a perspective of. I'm from the west side of Chicago. They had to play with. With the fire hydrant outside the whirlpool we had. We don't know if it was clean. Cause people was in there with their regular outfits.

[Anna Marie Horsford]

Yeah.

[Cam Newton]

So like.

[Anna Marie Horsford]

You know what I mean?

[Cam Newton]

So like. Yeah. And I was like, oh yeah, I guess this is great to me. Cause this is what I wish I had.

[Anna Marie Horsford]

Right.

[Cam Newton]

You know what I mean? I was scared to go outside most of the time. Cause it was craziness going on. But that was one of those things where you do give them the freedom. But it also is this balance. Cause it's like, you know, I'm still your dad, it's still your mom. You can't. I hear you. She can't be talking crazy, right? You got an opinion?

[Anna Marie Horsford]

Cool.

[Cam Newton]

It's the way you say it.

[DJ Envy]

See, that's when your parents gotta come out, right? When they talk crazy and turn around. What would your pops do? You probably get a frying pan, right. You better actually hit em. But just normal.

[Cam Newton]

We've been checked before. I remember like my dad, you know, he had a new job and his check was short one time. And you know, we was being kids. Like, oh man. Cause he was supposed to take us a piece of hut. You know, it was a big deal to us. And we was fussing. My mama pulled us to the side and was like, look, look, that's your dad. But that's my husband.

[Reagan Gomez]

That's right.

[Cam Newton]

Would you ever disrespect him?

[Reagan Gomez]

Oh, that's a big thing in our heart.

[Cam Newton]

His check was short. It is what it is. Wherever he take us is what we gonna do. You go in there, you give him a hug right now.

[Reagan Gomez]

There you go.

[Cam Newton]

And I'll never forget that moment because I was like. Like when she said, that's my husband.

[Anna Marie Horsford]

I didn't think about that as a kid.

[Reagan Gomez]

You're not just gonna be talking to.

[Ashley Nicole Moss]

Him any kind of way.

[Charlamagne tha God]

I don't talk to my wife.

[Reagan Gomez]

Like, that's very.

[Cam Newton]

And that happens a lot, especially with teenage girls. That whole thing with the moms thing.

[Reagan Gomez]

Actually, that was one of the points that. Ms. Anna, I heard you say on the red carpet that a lot of your mother roles. You had sons and this is the first time you had daughters.

[Anna Marie Horsford]

Yeah.

[Reagan Gomez]

And the difference in the conflict between having conflict with a son and daughter.

[Anna Marie Horsford]

So much nicer to you.

[Charlamagne tha God]

Yes.

[DJ Envy]

To fathers, daughters are everything.

[Anna Marie Horsford]

Okay.

[Charlamagne tha God]

Daughters.

[DJ Envy]

What? My daughter will rub my back.

[Anna Marie Horsford]

Look.

[Reagan Gomez]

And you supposed to be grounding her.

[DJ Envy]

I got four daughters.

[Anna Marie Horsford]

Oh, Lord.

[DJ Envy]

The oldest is 24. Youngest is four.

[Anna Marie Horsford]

Oh, okay.

[DJ Envy]

If I'm shoveling snow My daughters would be like, come on, dad, let's do it, my son.

[Ashley Nicole Moss]

I was like, video games like this.

[Anna Marie Horsford]

Out the window, like, dad, you all right?

[Ashley Nicole Moss]

After this game might come out. This is so true. I'm a big daddy's girl. My daddy could do no wrong. I remember, like, being mad at my mama because the way she might have talked to my daddy if they were having a disagreement.

[DJ Envy]

What are you saying?

[Ashley Nicole Moss]

Like, when my parents divorced, I thought, like, I could live with my mama. I got so sick that I had to go live with my daddy. I was like, I love you, Mama, but I'm gonna need to go stay with my daddy.

[Charlamagne tha God]

Wow.

[Ashley Nicole Moss]

I'll come and see you, but I gotta go stay with my daddy.

[DJ Envy]

And your mama still talk to you after that?

[Cam Newton]

Yeah.

[Ashley Nicole Moss]

I mean, we was in a small town, so she wasn't but 10 minutes away.

[Charlamagne tha God]

I just.

[Ashley Nicole Moss]

I was raised and seeing my daddy every single day, and I'm in ninth grade when they, you know, divorced and separated, it felt like my world collapsed. And, I mean, I love my mama. She was my best friend, too. But me and my daddy, to this day, I talk to him every day. When I don't see him for a while, I start feeling like something ain't right. So whoever came up with mama's boy or daddy's girl, it came from a real place.

[Charlamagne tha God]

I don't do daddies. First of all, that's beautiful. I pray my daughters have that connection with me. What do daddies have to do to ensure that?

[Ashley Nicole Moss]

I think, create an environment that makes them feel safe, makes them feel heard and seen. You know, teach them things that the world will try to teach them later.

[Reagan Gomez]

Yeah.

[Ashley Nicole Moss]

Like, my daddy was. Is a big talker.

[Anna Marie Horsford]

He.

[Ashley Nicole Moss]

Honey, he would talk. I remember when I was younger, I'd be like, daddy, you be talking a lot now. For real. But now I'd be like, telling my kids something. I'd be like, oh, my God. My daddy told me that. Like, it. It stayed with me, even though I used to think, you know, because you young, you. Yeah, think little stupid stuff sometimes. He taught me so many life lessons. And my daddy didn't have no sons, he just had two girls. So he taught me a lot of things that you would teach, you know, quote, unquote, boys, right? He taught me how to, you know, change the oil, you know, change tires. Look at all your stuff, your timing belt. All the things that I think that he would have taught a son. But I use a. Listen. My husband did not have a father. I taught my husband how to Check the oil.

[Anna Marie Horsford]

Interesting, right? Yeah, that's old.

[Ashley Nicole Moss]

He taught me how to be loved by a man. Yeah, right. So, you know, it also caused conflict a little bit with me and my husband.

[Charlamagne tha God]

We laugh about it now.

[Ashley Nicole Moss]

I used to be like, I ain't never seen my mama pump gas. What you talking about? I ain't got no gas in it. My mama pump up gas. I was like, well, my dad ain't.

[Anna Marie Horsford]

Never let my mama pump gas.

[Ashley Nicole Moss]

You know, just like he just. He takes care of you in a way that makes you feel like he is the best man in the world.

[Anna Marie Horsford]

It is. And there's an unspoken. I don't know. When it comes for little girls, especially when you grow up with a man, there's a safety vow that you can always run to Daddy.

[Cam Newton]

That's right.

[Anna Marie Horsford]

You don't even have to talk. You don't even have to talk. You just hold that leg or that foot and the. My big deal is I never wanted to dis. I didn't want to disappoint of disappointing my father. They gave me a hard time on amen with after the second year or something, and they didn't want to come through with the money that they had promised. And I said, you know, it's okay. You all got it. I don't have to do it ever again because I have far exceeded any expectation anybody had for me. So I can go back uptown, live in one of his houses, one of the rooms. He might complain about some rent, but I just felt I got a daddy who will take care of me for the rest of my life. There's something, and I don't know if they tell you something or you just feel it. There's a feeling. And all of a sudden, this last week, I've been thinking about when he used to see me. He used to smile. I used to make him smile all the time. And I said, what was that about? You know. Oh, Anna, you know. And I got a chance to bring him out to Hollywood when I was still on the show. And he was so grateful. Then he said, tell your father I said, daddy, stop. Sherman Hemsley is not my father. You are my father. He got so involved in this thing. And I said, it's something that you feel. That's why you tell women, I just feel so bad for any man who walks away.

[Reagan Gomez]

You see? That's right.

[Anna Marie Horsford]

Parenthood is a two party check. It's a check that has to be signed by mommy and daddy, whether you know them or not, whether he pays child support or not. The Child needs those two signatures. They need to know, wow, my nose looks like yours, my eyes look like yours. Or you say that, or Daddy gets a joke, you two don't have to be together, but that child needs to know he comes from two forces that came together to create this. And like you said, and sometimes it's not talk, it's sometimes just a feeling. And when they look at you and you say, oh, let me ask you.

[Cam Newton]

Oh, something too. Because that's something that's not talked about enough.

[DJ Envy]

Right.

[Cam Newton]

Because sometimes you do have some young women, if they dad wasn't around. And I've seen make up a version of it. Right?

[DJ Envy]

Yeah.

[Cam Newton]

Well, it's a male. My grandfather. But it's not the same thing.

[Anna Marie Horsford]

No, it's not.

[State Farm Ad Voice]

Yeah.

[Cam Newton]

It's literally not the same thing. The connection you have with your dad.

[Ashley Nicole Moss]

Right?

[Reagan Gomez]

And you know what? For me, My oldest is 18. She's a freshman in college. Hi, honey. But even taking her to college and dropping her off, and my husband was a wreck when we got on the plane and came home without her. And I'm like, you know, I'm independent. I've been working since I was 14. I'm like, she's good. She's good. He's like, but if something happens, I can't just get to her. And I'm like, wow.

[Charlamagne tha God]

Wow.

[Reagan Gomez]

That's a real issue. And as his wife. As his wife. Cause he did. His father was not around either, but seeing the man that he is and the father that he is, it just made me fall more in love with him.

[Charlamagne tha God]

That's real. When you say, my daughter doing college business now, and I feel the same way. It's like, she gotta be somewhere where the village can get to her quick.

[DJ Envy]

Before I can see. My daughter went to nyu, so it was right there, and I loved it. But now, on the other side, my son go to University of Miami. He was like, Deuces.

[Cam Newton]

I'm like, all right, bro.

[Reagan Gomez]

Yeah, it was totally different. It's different.

[Charlamagne tha God]

White women galore.

[Ashley Nicole Moss]

And he played football.

[Cam Newton]

Yeah, my daughter.

[Charlamagne tha God]

He played football. Ms. Horford.

[Reagan Gomez]

Oh, your son is an athlete. Mom played soccer. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Anna Marie Horsford]

But. But how did your wife.

[Ashley Nicole Moss]

Now, how did your wife handle?

[Reagan Gomez]

Right? Cause it's the opposite, that part.

[Ashley Nicole Moss]

All right, I'm going to school on my.

[DJ Envy]

They speak all the time. They FaceTime all the time. But for me, I remember the first time I called my daughter, she didn't answer right. I jet to the city, she was sleeping. I jet to the city and I wild on her so bad.

[Cam Newton]

I was like, I need to keep to the city.

[DJ Envy]

That's what I tell my. Just in case. Cause if something happens, I need to get in here. My wife looked at me like she's living her life.

[Reagan Gomez]

She's living her. She has a. She has classes.

[Anna Marie Horsford]

It takes time.

[DJ Envy]

It was sophomore year too.

[Cam Newton]

This was Covid.

[DJ Envy]

And see, the bad thing about New York is I went to Hampton, right? So Hampton has a campus. Is the campus. New York City is the campus. But she's going to. Oh, she's hanging out with.

[Anna Marie Horsford]

Yeah, everybody.

[Reagan Gomez]

Just like you did. Just like you did. You know, now it's her turn. It's her turn.

[Charlamagne tha God]

That's what scares them, though. Just like we did.

[Ashley Nicole Moss]

I think the part about. And what I had to learn is that my daughter, my children are not me. Right. They're not gonna do the exact same thing that I did. They're not gonna think the way that I thought. I think that's where I made a lot of mistakes in my parenting, like, you know, learning with my daughter. Cause I was like, now I know what I was thinking when I was that age. And so I was projecting my fears of my own past upon her. And that wasn't fair for her.

[Reagan Gomez]

Right.

[Ashley Nicole Moss]

And now that she's 24, we. We've talked about it, and it's some stuff that I carry parent guilt for. And she'd be like, mom, I don't even remember what you talking about. And I'm like, oh, well, thank you anyway for letting mama get it out.

[Reagan Gomez]

Yeah.

[Ashley Nicole Moss]

But our children, we. We give birth to them. God trusts us to bring them here.

[Anna Marie Horsford]

Yeah.

[Ashley Nicole Moss]

But they are not us.

[Charlamagne tha God]

You know, I told my daughter too, a couple days ago, because, you know, she's been driving, she got a car now. You know, she goes out, she comes home responsibly. She got a job and stuff like that. And I said to her, you know what? I love that I can trust you. It's just a feeling that you get when you know you can trust your child as a parent. I don't know. It's just everything.

[Anna Marie Horsford]

Can I say one thing to you about step parents and stuff like that? You have to. Even if you're mad at the gentleman or you're mad at the mother, understand that that child is walking around with the DNA from that other person. And they need to replenish that energy that's in them. Because again, even if I'm mad at you, don't get one guy who I was working with on Amen and his father was My father's doctor. And I was so excited. Oh, your father's so. And so when you tell him, he said, I don't talk to him. And I said, why? And he said, I don't want it to make my mother mad. And I said, no, your mother knows him. But the conflict. Because the father might have done the mother wrong, you know, she did. But the idea is, no, she picked him. She picked him. And it's okay. So it's not that you're violating your mother's trust by talking to your father, you know, so we have to be really open and saying, even though I don't like, I want you to continue to, like, if you can just be gentle. Just if he wants to send a card or, or encourage him sometimes just call your father, say hello.

[Ashley Nicole Moss]

Don't use the kids, don't. Yeah. And I don't know if we're weird.

[Anna Marie Horsford]

We're doing it.

[Cam Newton]

Well, this is what just with your book too. And it's funny because I was hearing you talk about it. I mean, co parenting is such a. It's a humbling experience where you have to take your personal feelings out of.

[Reagan Gomez]

It for the ego.

[Cam Newton]

It has to go.

[Anna Marie Horsford]

It has to.

[Cam Newton]

And then if, you know, you're able to. You know, one of the things I love, you know, with my ex wife was that we was able to have a real conversation at some point when we put all the ego stuff to the side. Once we did that, it was like, all right, we can talk about what we did wrong.

[Ashley Nicole Moss]

Yeah.

[Cam Newton]

If you want to just get out, let's just get that out the way. Because we ain't gonna get back together. Let's just talk about it. There's no point of being like, we were cool at one point.

[Ashley Nicole Moss]

Right.

[Cam Newton]

You know what I'm saying? So like, when you do that and then you just focus on those children, you know, it's weird. Cause sometimes it's hard for like, even when you have a newer person, them, they could get a little irritated with your co parenting relationship. Like, fam, I'm keeping the peace. Yes, I hear you.

[Ashley Nicole Moss]

Listen.

[Cam Newton]

But yeah, this is cool.

[Anna Marie Horsford]

Yes, yes.

[Cam Newton]

Because it wasn't cool at one. At one point.

[Anna Marie Horsford]

Right, right, right.

[Ashley Nicole Moss]

You got to sometimes take that.

[DJ Envy]

They got to go somewhere.

[Charlamagne tha God]

Just one quick question, and it's in regards to the movie and everything we talking about now. Do you personally believe that family should always be forgiven? I know you talking about step parents, but it's just.

[Reagan Gomez]

I think it depends.

[Anna Marie Horsford]

Too.

[Reagan Gomez]

It really depends.

[DJ Envy]

That's a good question.

[Anna Marie Horsford]

Yeah.

[Ashley Nicole Moss]

I believe everyone can be forgiven. Right. Forgiveness is not for the other person, it's for you. Forgiveness, even in family doesn't mean we have to be together.

[Anna Marie Horsford]

It doesn't mean or forget what you did.

[Ashley Nicole Moss]

It doesn't mean that you have to be back in my life. It just means I have forgiven you and I'm gonna go about my business. You got some deep pain though from some family members that you just can't reverse.

[Reagan Gomez]

Especially if they're not asking for your forgiveness. If they don't see nothing wrong, then it makes it hard for even if you wanna forgive. Yeah.

[Ashley Nicole Moss]

But that's the thing about forgiveness is when it's for you, you don't have to say it to that person. It's so that you can move forward in your life.

[Reagan Gomez]

That's true.

[Ashley Nicole Moss]

Without hindrance.

[Reagan Gomez]

That's true.

[Ashley Nicole Moss]

Right. Because sometimes you can hold something against someone and it hurts.

[Anna Marie Horsford]

It hurts yourself back.

[Ashley Nicole Moss]

Yeah. Right. You can't move forward. So it's not for them. Right. Especially because we've all been hurt.

[Reagan Gomez]

Yeah.

[Ashley Nicole Moss]

And there's some things that people do that feels like that is it can't be forgiven. It just can't that. But to them they may go to, you know, they rest in place feeling like you never forgave them and. And that's their business to feel for you to live your life in peace. Forgiveness has to live in your heart.

[Cam Newton]

Yeah. You gotta trust. I mean if it depends if you're a person of faith. But you just gotta let trust God. Let God do a God.

[Anna Marie Horsford]

Yeah.

[Cam Newton]

Like I think we really don't understand how much we have to mind our own business when it just come to faith. Yes. I don't need to see God's vengeance on you.

[Ashley Nicole Moss]

No.

[Cam Newton]

Whatever God does with you, that's just what cuz God may forgive you and not even be as angry as I want God to be a father. That's all of our fathers. So it's like I'm doing this because I want. I went to see a play called oh Happy Day. That's. That's out here.

[Charlamagne tha God]

I'm going to.

[Cam Newton]

Oh man, it's so good. And it's a great song to have really with that subject is, you know, it's a song. I don't know the lyrics exact cause I heard it yesterday. But it's like can you forgive the person or situation that hurt you the most? And it was God asking that question to Jordan Cooper's character. Because that's how you move on. You gotta move. You can't sit in that. You know what I mean? Cause it really affects you and you can't. Like, it ain't about me saying what. I don't need nothing from you. I don't need you to say it is what it is. I forgive you. And we ain't gotta talk again.

[Anna Marie Horsford]

Yeah.

[Ashley Nicole Moss]

See, I wonder what that looks like, though. I wonder what it looks like forgiving somebody, the training, gotta talk to. You know what I mean? Like. Like, what does that look like?

[Reagan Gomez]

You just go on about your business.

[Ashley Nicole Moss]

It looks like freedom.

[Anna Marie Horsford]

Freedom feels like. Let's have that look. It's a feeling. Yeah.

[Ashley Nicole Moss]

You see, it looks and feels like joy, happiness. Like, you can see somebody be like, they done went through all that and they still looking, they still showing up.

[Reagan Gomez]

Because it takes a lot of energy to hold on to that, to that anger or whatever it is. So. You're absolutely right.

[Ashley Nicole Moss]

And also, like, when you think about, like, matters of the heart, you know, most people hurt you, they hurt your heart. Right. You know, if you think forgiveness is something that has to happen, happen, it's not about, like, it hurt your feelings, it hurt your heart.

[Reagan Gomez]

Yeah.

[Ashley Nicole Moss]

So whether that. Whatever that thing was, say it was a past relationship. The longer you hold the grudge, the longer you block that part of the heart for you to be loved again.

[Reagan Gomez]

There you go.

[Ashley Nicole Moss]

That's beautiful release so that we can get what God has for us.

[Reagan Gomez]

There you go.

[Anna Marie Horsford]

Oh, this is an unexpected interview.

[DJ Envy]

Unexpected Christmas. In theaters this Friday. Thank you so much for joining us.

[Reagan Gomez]

Thank you. Soundtrack OUT right now Soundtrack out right now.

[DJ Envy]

It's the Breakfast Club. Good morning.

[Anna Marie Horsford]

Yeah.

[DJ Envy]

Every day I wake up.

[Charlamagne tha God]

Wake your ass up. The Breakfast Club.

[State Farm Ad Voice]

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[Ashley Nicole Moss]

Okay, only 10 more presents to wrap. You're almost at the finish line.

[Cam Newton]

But first, there, the last one.

[Anna Marie Horsford]

Enjoy a Coca Cola for a pause that refreshes. Hey, Ryan Reynolds here for Mint Mobile. Now, I don't know if you've heard, but Mint's Premium Wireless is $15 a month. But I'd like to offer one other perk. We have no stores.

[Ashley Nicole Moss]

That means no small talk. Crazy weather we're having. No, it's not.

[Anna Marie Horsford]

It's just weather. It is an introvert's dream. Give it a [e-mail] Switch upfront payment.

[Ashley Nicole Moss]

Of $45 for three month plan $15 per month equivalent required. New customer offer first three months only, then full price plan options available. Taxes and fees extra. See mintmobile.com@hill's pet Nutrition we know that.

[Anna Marie Horsford]

Pet parent guilt is real.

[Ashley Nicole Moss]

Leaving too long, playing too little.

[Anna Marie Horsford]

New homes, new baby. Waking them up when they look so comfy. Running out of patience.

[Ashley Nicole Moss]

Running out of treats.

[Anna Marie Horsford]

Running the vacuum. You can only do so much. That's why there's hills. Science led nutrition to help you give more love than humanly possible because you're only human.

[Ashley Nicole Moss]

There's hills. Find the right [e-mail] ScienceDoesMore Ah, greetings.

[Cam Newton]

From my bath festive friends.

[Anna Marie Horsford]

The holidays are overwhelming, but I'm tackling this season with PayPal and making the most of my money. Money getting 5% cash back when I pay in 4. No fees, no interest.

[Cam Newton]

I used it to get this portable spa with jets.

[Anna Marie Horsford]

Now the bubbles can cling to my.

[Cam Newton]

Sculpted but pruny body.

[Anna Marie Horsford]

Make the most of your money this holiday with PayPal.

[Cam Newton]

Save the offer in the app ends 1231.

[Anna Marie Horsford]

See paypal.com promoterms Points can be redeemed for cash and more paying for subject to terms and approval. PayPal Inc. And MLS 910457 this is an iHeart podcast.