Brandy Explains Loving Ray J From A Distance: When Family Becomes Too Much

Summary

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The Breakfast Club – "Love Them From A Distance: When Family Becomes Too Much"

Podcast: The Breakfast Club, The Black Effect Podcast Network & iHeartPodcasts
Hosts: DJ Envy, Jess Hilarious, Charlamagne Tha God (guest hosted by Lauren LaRosa)
Episode Air Date: April 9, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Breakfast Club dives into the complex topic of setting boundaries with family, exploring when and why it becomes necessary to love certain relatives from a distance. Host Lauren LaRosa leads an open and honest discussion with guest Brandon and listener/caller Sophie, sharing personal stories and perspectives. The conversation is sparked in part by recent news about R&B star Brandy and her decision to step back from her brother Ray J, offering listeners both celebrity context and real-life examples.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

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1. Navigating Personal Motivation and Burnout

[04:35–07:07]

• Lauren shares her experience: Sometimes her passion is diminished, leading her to question if it's burnout or just a natural ebb and flow of life.
  • “I’m such a passion person…I hate that the fire isn’t as lit as usual, but sometimes as an adult, that’s just life.” (Lauren LaRosa, 06:30)
• Brandon reassures: It’s not necessary to control or force constant excitement; the lows make the highs better.
  • “I don’t think you need to be on ten all the time.” (Brandon, 05:26)

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2. Setting Family Boundaries – Brandy & Ray J's Story

[07:22–09:49]

• Brandy’s interview: Lauren discusses Brandy's choice to keep distance from her brother Ray J due to behaviors she doesn’t support.
  • “She’s choosing to just take a distance from Ray J, because a lot of the things that he’s doing right now, she just doesn’t support.” (Lauren, 07:39)
• Empathy for siblings: Lauren relates, recalling her own younger brother telling her, “you don’t know what it’s like to be in your shadow because you’re not the shadow, you’re the light.” (Lauren quoting her brother, 08:52)
• Unconditional love and difficult choices: The hosts agree that while family bonds can be deep, sometimes space is healthier, even if the love remains.

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3. Recognizing Cultural Backgrounds and Family Dynamics

[09:50–12:18]

• Brandon shares his African background: The strictness and expectations in his family influenced his relationships, sometimes lacking perceived empathy.
• Aunt and cousin anecdotes: Brandon jokes about long-held grudges and nosy family members who bring negativity, with Lauren pushing back, “I don’t like those people who always call me telling me what someone said about me.” (Lauren, 11:47)
• Handling online criticism: Lauren notes that she avoids negative comments and focuses on real-life support:
  • “In real life, I receive so much love. This phase, I don’t even be tripping.” (Lauren, 18:00)

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4. The Listener Call – Sophie’s Story

[20:31–32:28]

A. Distance from Immediate Family

• Sophie admits: She keeps her distance from her biological father due to unhealthy, sometimes traumatic, dynamics.
  • “I don’t hate my family…I need something different right now in my life.” (Sophie, 21:09)
  • “As a kid, there were moments I was put in situations that I shouldn’t have been put in.” (Sophie, 21:54)

B. Validation and Relatability from Lauren

• Lauren shares her experience: She, too, is distant from her father for her own well-being, pointing out the importance of boundaries even if there’s no hate.
  • “I blocked him on my phone…it’s not because I don’t love him. I have no hate in my heart towards my dad.” (Lauren, 24:30)
  • “Sometimes, I just have to protect my mental.” (Lauren, 25:35)

C. Sibling Relationships and Feeling Like the Black Sheep

• Sophie discusses: Her sister is successful, and Sophie’s career in film makes her feel like the outcast in a family dominated by business and finance.
  • “Sometimes I have to distance myself from my sister, because even though she’s my best friend…sometimes I feel like a little bit of the black sheep.” (Sophie, 31:44)
• Lauren reflects: She only recently started considering how her actions as the older sibling impact her younger brother.
  • “Even if a person doesn’t have it all the way together, there are things that it just doesn’t help.” (Lauren, 33:07)

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5. Gentle Advice on Reconciliation and Choosing Yourself

[34:41–36:39]

• Brandon encourages: Don’t let outside perception keep you from connecting with your siblings, even if your career path is misunderstood.

  • “Don’t let that outside energy affect… the love you have for each other.” (Brandon, 34:43)

• Lauren and Brandon agree: If you must, prioritize yourself—distance is sometimes needed for growth or mental health.

  • “If you have to distance yourself…do it. Brandy’s doing it.” (Lauren, 36:28)
  • “Just win…Make sure you win.” (Brandon, 36:35)

• Lauren closes on the need for self-preservation:

  • “Sometimes growing apart from family or people you’re supposed to have unconditional love from—it’s tough, but sometimes it’s needed for growth.” (Lauren, 36:43)

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Notable Quotes

• “You can be passionate, you can love what you do, but you’re not going to love every day.” (Lauren, 07:22)
• “The love is so unconditional in a brother, sister relationship… but there are people who create that distance and don’t ever go back.” (Lauren, 09:30)
• “Protecting yourself isn’t embarrassing, it’s responsible. Sex is normal. Protecting yourself should be normal, too. Actually, it’s kind of badass.” (Wheezy, 16:52 & 28:05, recurring ad spot)
• “You only get one set of parents… but at the same time, I have to protect my mental.” (Lauren, 25:35)
• “The distance sometimes that you might feel… it’s not even about you. Sometimes that person is locking in…to block out the noise.” (Lauren, 33:35)
• “Just win…Make sure you win.” (Brandon, 36:35)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Timestamp | Segment/Topic | |--------------|-------------------------------------------------------------------| | 04:35–07:07 | Lauren & Brandon on motivation, burnout, and creative "fire" | | 07:22–09:49 | Discussion of Brandy & Ray J, family dynamics, sibling shadows | | 09:50–12:18 | Brandon’s cultural perspective, family grudges, online slander | | 20:31–25:50 | Sophie’s call – distancing from her father, setting boundaries | | 25:50–32:28 | Further discussion: daughters & fathers, siblings & validation | | 34:41–36:39 | Advice: sibling closeness, self-prioritization, winning | | 36:39–37:47 | Closing thoughts, call for audience participation |

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Memorable Moments

• Lauren’s candid admission about her struggles with her father and the importance of blocking toxicity, regardless of guilt.
• Brandon’s story about his aunt holding a grudge from when he was seven—a humorous but relatable family moment.
• Listener Sophie openly sharing the complexities of being the “black sheep” and her need for emotional distance, reflecting many people's lived experiences.
• The panel’s practical advice on managing sibling dynamics and family pressure with empathy.

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Tone and Language

The hosts maintain a conversational, honest, and often humorous tone throughout, peppered with relatable anecdotes and sensitive, supportive dialogue when it comes to listeners’ stories about tough family relationships.

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For Listeners Who Missed the Episode: Key Takeaways

• Loving family members from a distance is sometimes necessary for personal peace and growth.
• Setting boundaries does NOT mean you don’t love your family—it's about self-preservation.
• Sibling rivalry, parental expectations, and being the "black sheep" are challenges many face, regardless of background or success.
• Emotional honesty and open conversations can help reframe guilt or shame that comes with distancing oneself from family.
• It's okay to choose yourself first, especially when your well-being is at stake.

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Want to share your own story or get advice?
Contact Lauren for a chance to join future episodes: [e-mail]

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Transcript

[Lauren LaRosa]

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[Lauren LaRosa]

Hey, y', all, it's Lauren LaRosa with the latest with Lauren LaRosa on Black Effect.

And I cannot wait to see you

guys at the fourth annual Black Effect Podcast Festival.

We are coming back to Atlanta, Georgia on Saturday, April 25th at Pullman Yard and it's hosted by me alongside DJ Envy and Charlamagne Ngai. We got Drink Chance with Noriega and DJ fm. We got Keep It Positive Sweetie with

my girl Crystal Renee Hayslet.

We got Reality with the King with my guide and my brother Carlos King. And y' all know he does reality commentary like nobody can.

Now we also have Don't Call Me

White Girl, the podcast I Love Mona and Club520 podcast along with the Grits and Eggs podcast. So this lineup stacked, baby. You're also going to want to check out the panels that we have lined

up too, featuring Kev on stage, Tika Sumter and John Hope Bryant, just to name a few. Of course, it's way bigger than podcast.

We're bringing the Black Effect marketplace with

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Ok, listen, you don't want to miss this. Tap in and grab your ticket [e-mail] podcast festival.

[Brandon]

Let's get to it. Time to do it.

[Lauren LaRosa]

I'm the homegirl that knows a little bit about everything and everybody exclusive.

[Brandon]

No, she don't lie about that. Right?

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[Lauren LaRosa]

Hey, y', all, what's up? It's Lauren LaRosa. And this is the latest with Lauren LaRosa. This is your daily dig on all things pop culture, entertainment news and all of the conversations that shake the room, baby.

[Sophie]

Back on the grind.

[Lauren LaRosa]

Now checking in behind the scenes of the grind, which for the low riders here on the podcast that have been listening, you guys know, means this is, you know, where we just find out how we are doing. Like it's the time where you stop and say, hey, how are you feeling? For everybody that is new here, that was the definition. And I actually want you to take some time to do it as I do it as well. So we have Brandon on the podcast with us today.

[Brandon]

Thank you for having me back again, Lauren.

[Lauren LaRosa]

Yes, yes. So checking in behind the scenes of the grind, I right now am just feeling very motivated. I go through periods of Times sometimes where, like, I'm just, like, head down doing the work so much that, like, my. I wouldn't even say it's my motivation, but, like, just my. Like, you know how, like, there's that, like, spark, like, when you're really excited about something, sometimes it becomes.

[Brandon]

The fire is lit under you.

[Lauren LaRosa]

Yes. Yes, that's it. Like, the fire is lit. Sometimes I feel like my fire isn't as lit as other times, and it changes the way I enjoy what I'm doing.

[Brandon]

Ebbs and flows and different, but it's

[Lauren LaRosa]

like, I don't know how to control that. I feel like it's life and you can't control it, but I don't. I'm such a, like, passion person that I hate that.

[Brandon]

I don't think you need to control it, because the lows will, you know, make the highs feel that much better. So I don't think you need to be on 10 all the time, but it just.

[Lauren LaRosa]

I love being on 10. Time to go.

[Brandon]

This is why y' all maybe call you a crackhead.

[Lauren LaRosa]

That was kind of crazy.

[Brandon]

I never heard you make that noise before. Leave that in.

[Lauren LaRosa]

That was not a cracking dish. Yo, play that back. But I don't know, it's just because I'm so passionate about the things that I do, and I love the things I do. Like, I love talking to the people, the low riders here, you know, the latest with learning the rose of the podcast. I loved just talking through everything, celebrity news. And I don't even think it's just being in people's business. I think I just love conversation. Like, I'm a people's person. I love to talk. I love to ignite conversation. I love to engage. So I'm always excited about anything creative that does that, whether it's the reporting, it's fashion. Like, you know, so for me, whenever I don't feel that fire under me, if, like, sometimes I'm. I. I'm, like, sitting, and I'm wondering, like, all right, is this burnout? Am I doing something too much? Like, too much of something? Am I not resting the way I should be? Like, I just start going down this rabbit hole of, like, why do I feel that way? And then I just recently realized, like, no, girl, as an adult, sometimes that's just life where, like, the fire isn't lit as much sometimes as it is others. So, yeah, so, yeah, I've had to. I've had to teach myself that, you know, it's just adulting now. You got to deal with your real life. When you're dealing with your dreams as well, too. It's not all just, like, optimism and, you know, butterflies and lies.

[Brandon]

It's great advice. Great advice, Lauren. No, I'm thinking. I'm not. I know I'll be sounding sarcastic when I say things, and I know that about myself if you say that, but I'll be serious. That's. That's, like, great to hear. You know, somebody that's, you know, a few years younger than you. So I'm like, I'm taking college that you can.

[Lauren LaRosa]

You can be passionate. You can love what you do, but, like, you're not going to love every day is what I've had to tell myself. So. So, yes, but there is always another day. And we are about to get on the line for on the line with Lauren LaRosa and talk about, you know, something that I feel like also has a lot of its ebbs and flows, and that's relationships with family, period. Like, that's all you got to say about that. Because Brandi is out, and she's promoting her new book, Phases. It's a memoir. It is currently out right now. And in promoting that, she's been having conversations about her relationship with her brother Ray J, and where they stand. And she was talking to Parade magazine. She covered the. Their magazine, and they asked her, how is Ray J doing? And this is what she had to say. Right now, she's choosing to just take a distance from Ray J because a lot of the things that he's doing right now, she just doesn't support. Look, y' all know we love Ray J. Here at the Latest with Lauren LaRosa. If you haven't checked out some of me and Ray J's exclusive interviews, please check them out. You will see exactly what Brandi is talking about. All the stuff that Brandi is saying that Ray J has been doing, you will see exactly what she was talking about. I'm sorry, Brandi. Maybe I was a catalyst for the bs But I think the reason why I have so much empathy and so much patience for Ray J is because I have a younger brother who doesn't always get it right. And I know what it's like to be the sister in that situation who, like, everybody thinks gets it right all the time and kind of what the opposing party goes through. Like, you're like my little brother for the first time. We had a conversation, and he was telling me, like, I remember this. This sticks with me to this day. He said, you don't know. You don't know what it's like to be in your shadow because you're not the shadow, you're the light.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Lauren LaRosa]

And I was like, damn. Like, as a person that loves my sibling, like, I never want him to feel like he's in, like, a no way out situation because there's been this shadow cast over him. But he does. There's. There's no choice. Like, the shadow is naturally there because he's my brother and he's younger than me. So I think sometimes, you know, being that sibling makes you do things and explore things and just kind of go, like, the very irrational way. So I can understand Brandi feeling like, you know, the distance. I've been through that as well, too. But you. The. The love is so unconditional in a brother, sister relationship or just with family sometimes. But there are people who create that distance and don't ever go back. I don't know if you've had similar situations. I know your family is very.

[Brandon]

I feel like I tell the same story.

[Lauren LaRosa]

Very strict.

[Brandon]

I think we did a holiday story. Holiday episode. Right. Last time I was here. I feel like I'm about to tell the same exact.

[Lauren LaRosa]

Oh, that same aunt. That's scar.

[Brandon]

I did not like that. Like, she was. Well, for those of you who don't remember, I had a. A who hadn't seen it.

[Lauren LaRosa]

Wait, tell them. You got to tell them you African first. You got to tell them first that I'm African? Yes.

[Brandon]

Does that add. I don't know. I think it does.

[Lauren LaRosa]

Because every time I listen to you or Sim talk about your families and your backgrounds, I feel like, Sim. Some of the strictness and, like, the. Like, the no games don't play is so different than my household was because of your background.

[Brandon]

And I feel like sometimes it comes out as like. Like a lack of empathy.

[Lauren LaRosa]

And I feel like you can be like that sometimes. I tell him that all the time. I'm like, damn, Brandon. Like, but.

[Brandon]

But. So, yeah, this I hadn't seen in years.

[Lauren LaRosa]

Wait, Africans don't be mad at me for saying that.

[Brandon]

That's too late now. Africans gonna be on your ass, this who makes it out alive. So, yeah, I didn't see her in years. And then, like, I didn't even know I was gonna see her this day at a function or whatever. It's like, oh, I'm not gonna say your name. I go for a hug, and she's like, no, I'm not hugging you, because last time I seen, you ignored me. And she's talking about when I was seven years old. And I was playing with toys and I was in and I ignored her. So she held that beef.

[Lauren LaRosa]

So she don't fool with you. So you to Ray J,

[Brandon]

That's. That's. That's a tough comparison. Cuz I was just playing with toys and raging. Yeah. But, yeah, I guess I am. And I guess I had another cousin who. I mean, these are not like, serious situations. This doesn't really happen to me. So maybe this story could be a reach about a cousin who, like, every time she come back to me, like, she'll come back to me about how somebody said something bad about me.

[Lauren LaRosa]

Oh, yeah, I don't like those.

[Brandon]

She always. And then she would also, like, snitch on me too. Yeah. She always had a story like such and such and said this about you. I'm like, why is everybody talking about me to you?

[Lauren LaRosa]

Yes. I don't like those people. If you always call me, telling me what someone said about me, I don't like those people because I feel like number one. Even if it's just something that you're seeing on Internet, why is that all that you're ever seeing when it comes to me? You know what I mean? Or all you're ever calling. And I try not to be that person.

[Brandon]

Yours is different because. Yeah, they're gonna bring back.

[Lauren LaRosa]

Yeah, no, my friends. No, my friends. Like, my friends. Real, for real. They don't even. It got to be. It could be the craziest thing. They don't. They don't even bring it to me because I feel like they think I'm. I'm going through it in real time. And also, you know, because they be

[Brandon]

calling you, like, ballheaded on Twitter and stuff like that, and it gets back to you. So I know that's tough, but. What did you say?

[Lauren LaRosa]

What?

[Brandon]

No, that was an example.

[Lauren LaRosa]

You. What?

[Brandon]

You f. No, I saw one yesterday. That's why I just.

[Lauren LaRosa]

What?

[Brandon]

I didn't send it. I just saw it.

[Lauren LaRosa]

All right. Brandon just called me bald headed.

[Brandon]

I did not. The person on Twitter called you bald headed.

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[Lauren LaRosa]

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[Wheezy]

This is Weezy. WTF from Decisions, Decisions. You know, a lot of us grew up not Fully trusting the health care system. And honestly, the system has given us plenty of reasons to feel that way. But now it's time for us to take control of the conversation, to take control of our sexual health. Learn the facts, ask questions, and advocate for ourselves. That's how we start changing the story. So let's talk. We like to think HIV is something that affects other people, but it is hitting our own community hard. Black women make up about 13% of women in the US but account for nearly half of all new HIV diagnoses around women. And being proactive doesn't mean you just don't trust your partner. It just means you trust yourself enough to stay in control. So know your options, ask questions, and protect your peace and your body. That's real power. Because protecting yourself isn't embarrassing, it's responsible. Sex is normal. Protecting yourself should be normal too. Actually, it's kind of badass. Taking control of your sexual health is grown woman energy. Sponsored by Care for the Culture from Gilead Sciences.

[Lauren LaRosa]

We'll put the tweet on the screen. Read the tweet, Brandon, go ahead.

[Brandon]

Oh, shoot.

[Lauren LaRosa]

You want people, you only bring it up. I didn't have it up that I'm bald head, so like they don't see me in my fly ass shortcut.

[Brandon]

Okay, Shout out to the big homie on Twitter. Somebody said, well, let me go to the original tweet.

[Lauren LaRosa]

So we did a segment at the Breakfast Club about Ben the Don, saying that Drake changed all his music because of him. And we, we were talking about this. Even if Ben the Don and Drake, that didn't happen with them. We were talking about it because Iceman still hasn't come out and been the don be with Drake all the time. So.

[Brandon]

And somebody. So somebody tweeted they seen Benadon say on a stream, say that on a stream, and they're using it for news. And the Don replied, whole time I was just yapping, brain switching up because of me. And then Big the big homie said, that's Lauren Ball, head, ass. She looked for anything to try to start up some Drake slayer.

[Lauren LaRosa]

They'd be calling me a paid throat and everything.

[Brandon]

A paid what?

[Lauren LaRosa]

Throat.

[Brandon]

Paid throat.

[Lauren LaRosa]

Yeah, like I only voice certain opinions for certain sides. You know what I do, though?

[Brandon]

Throat means different things in different places. You gotta be specific. I haven't heard that term before. I'm sorry.

[Lauren LaRosa]

Oh, no, no, no, no. Not that. You know what I don't care about? I mean, what I do is once I see my mentions going crazy, it's Certain people we talk about. I know my mansions go and go crazy when we do it. I'll tweet, like, my podcast episodes.

[Brandon]

Oh, yeah.

[Lauren LaRosa]

You know what I mean? Like, I'm like, since y' all hear my bald head ass, go look at something.

[Brandon]

Do they affect you? Because I feel like you are pretty good with at least jokes and slander and stuff.

[Lauren LaRosa]

I can't. Like, with the random people and some of the stuff they be saying, I just be having to get off because it don't affect me. But I be a lot of time. Like, I'm like a progressed crash out.

[Brandon]

Okay.

[Lauren LaRosa]

Like, in real life, like, I've grown a lot and I have a lot to lose, and I've. And I've been growing a lot for some years, but I'm not all the way reformed yet, so I don't even look at that stuff because I'm like, I will get on here and, like, be going back and forth, and I'm never going to see these people. You know what I mean? And in real life, I received so much love. Like, I. I've been through so much in real life that this phase of it, I don't even be tripping. I'll be like, all right, I saw what you said. If I ever see you in real life, I'll come up to you so we can have a real conversation. We'll see how you hold it down then.

[Brandon]

Yeah. I don't comment on people that feel away about the Internet, Selena, because I don't know what that feels like.

[Lauren LaRosa]

It's crazy, actually. You know what's crazy? And we're doing this in celebration, this episode in celebration of the one year of the latest with Lauren LaRosa. Over 9 million downloads on the audio side. Later in the launch of our video on Lauren LaRosa TV on YouTube. Right. But when I first dropped the video for the podcast, it was so bad because we were, like, figuring it out and I was. Yo, I used to be so burnt out. I was saying yes to every job that would come my way when I first got back on Breakfast Club, because I was just trying to run it up.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Lauren LaRosa]

And I remember people were going on, like, these whole review campaigns about how bad I was and how bad I was as a personality. And I was tight, but I was more mad because I'm like, I'm never going to see these people, and I want to see.

[Brandon]

Yeah. Was there anybody that matters?

[Lauren LaRosa]

No, Nobody. That's another thing. The people. It's never somebody that matters.

[Brandon]

Yeah.

[Lauren LaRosa]

The people that matter. Even if you have a bad day, they see the talent, they see the. They see the work, they see the consistency. It's always the people who don't matter. Like, there is literally a. A section on YouTube for the old mad ladies who don't matter. Like, that's what they'd be on there doing in the rage bay people. So. But yeah, so let's get into it, right? Speaking of things that matter, we're on the line with Lauren LaRosa talking about distancing yourself from family members. And we have a caller on the line today.

[Sophie]

Hi, I'm Sophie.

[Lauren LaRosa]

Okay, Sophie, where you from?

[Sophie]

New Jersey, born and raised.

[Brandon]

It's a big Jersey.

[Lauren LaRosa]

Okay, Jersey. So you heard the clip with Brandi, and you know, she's talking about distancing herself from Ray J. Have you ever had to distance yourself from family members?

[Sophie]

Oh, 100%, for sure. I feel like it's pretty normal. I feel like there's more people who have to distance themselves from family versus not especially now, because I think either you might not share the same opinions as your family, or, you know, they might be stricter and you might want to grow up and kind of spread your wings and do this, that, and the other thing. And I think for me, I know some members of my family have made me feel more, less than. Than somebody who can do this or can do that. And it's not that we hate our family, and I think that's what people always say, you must hate your family. Why do you hate your family when your father's done this or your mother's done this or your aunts and uncles do this? It's not that I don't like my family or hate my family. It's just I need something different right now in my life. And I'm growing and I'm changing, and I don't think where I'm at, I need, like, somebody on my shoulder constantly telling me what to do or how to be and things like that. And I also think, again, like, you can have a great relationship, let's say, with your mom or your dad, but it's not always necessarily healthy. And I feel like, for me, you know, not naming any names, I was in a very, like, unhealthy relationship, I think, with, you know, my biological father. And I don't really talk to him, and it's really hard to communicate with him just because, like, as a kid, there were moments I was put in situations that I shouldn't have been put in. And now that I'm older, I See it a little differently. And I'd like to keep my distance, though. Yeah. Even though I see it differently still. But I think it's best for me to kind of push that out of sight, out of mind because I want to continue being my most ambitious. Good. Good to myself, but good to other people. Person. I think I just need myself for that. And I'm hyper independent. I like to think so.

[Lauren LaRosa]

You know what's crazy? I was thinking about. Because at first I was gonna ask you, you said, you know, sometimes it's like you need to feel greater than, not less than. And I was going to get into that with you at first. And then you brought up your dad. And I was thinking, I'm like, I mean, my situation with my dad is the same way. And he actually probably listening to this podcast because he watches and listens to everything that I do. So, I mean, if you're listening, hey, dad. But me and my dad are like, when we have a. We have. It's weird because when we do talk, we have such a great relationship because we are very like one in the same. Our temperament, our. Our anger, like, everything. But it's when things fly off the handle. I feel like he takes it further than a father dealing with a daughter should take it. And I've learned to do the same thing. Like, I give him distance. And now this last go round, I just. It's just been like, you know, I'm good.

[Brandon]

Like, I remember he was talking under your YouTube video, which is.

[Lauren LaRosa]

Yeah, he was. I, the podcast listeners on the viewer side saw that. I actually screenshotted the comment. But he does little things like that. And I think what I've had to learn is that because I. You. You mentioned Sophie when you were younger, you know, with your dad. Mines wasn't even about when I was younger because my dad came in my life when. Well, back into my life when I was like, 13. So at that point, you know, 13 years old, growing up in a neighborhood I grew up in, I'm like 16, 17 for real. So I didn't consider myself younger. But I do think that, you know, I've had to realize that there are certain things that, like, I watch. I watch other men with their daughters, and it doesn't matter how old their daughter is, that's still their baby girl. And I feel like with my dad, there are certain things that, like, he just disregards. As I'm supposed to be your baby girl, there's certain things you should never say to me. You should never want me to accept that from a man. So you, as my father, shouldn't do it either. So I've had to put boundaries on the way that I interact with him. Like, every now and then, I used to, like, call happy Birthday, maybe Father's Day, whatever. But recently he can't. Like, I blocked him on my phone. He can reach out on, like, social media and stuff, but I just don't. And it's not because I don't love him. I. I have no hate in my heart towards my dad, but I just don't feel like the. I don't want to have to cuss him out because he's my dad, and I don't want to have to do that. And I don't want to hear that from some. My dad. You're supposed to be my father. You know what I mean? So I feel your boundary, like, strong. And I understand what you mean when you say you don't hate them. Because my grandmother talks to me about my dad. Like, she always says she'll be like, oh, call your dad. Like, whenever I'm heading to the south for an event or something. Mind you, I've called him before when I was heading there and didn't see him. But my grandmother always tries to remind me, like, you get one parent, one set of parents, period. And I'm like, I understand that, but at the same time, I have to protect my, like, my. My, like, mental. Like, it'd be a lot going on. I don't have time for something. Sending him off the handle because I'm grown enough to tell him the truth now.

[Sophie]

Yeah, exactly. And I mean, we relate to each other, and I think it's really unique in the sense of, you know, I'm 23.

[Lauren LaRosa]

You're 32.

[Brandon]

Way older.

[Lauren LaRosa]

Yeah, no, it's like I'm 34. You said way older. Brandon. What?

[Brandon]

Now? Let the caller finish.

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[Lauren LaRosa]

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This is wheezy. Wtf? From decisions, decisions. You know, a lot of us grew up not fully trusting the healthcare system. And honestly, the system has given us plenty of reasons to feel that way. But now it's time for us to take control of the conversation, to take control of our sexual health, learn the facts, ask questions, and advocate for ourselves. That's how we start changing the story. So let's talk. We like to think HIV is something that affects other people, but it is hitting our own community hard. Black women make up about 13% of women in the US but account for nearly half of all new HIV diagnoses around women. And being proactive doesn't mean you just don't trust your partner. It just means you trust yourself enough to stay in control. So know your options, ask questions, and protect your peace and your body. That's real power. Because protecting yourself isn't embarrassing. It's responsible. Sex is normal. Protecting yourself should be normal, too. Actually, it's kind of badass. Taking control of your sexual health is grown woman energy. Sponsored by Care for the Culture from Gilead Sciences, March is the month of

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[Brandon]

All right, Sophie.

[Sophie]

But it's interesting, like, where you're at in your life, and I'm gonna say, like, that's where I want to be, I think, when it comes to this relationship with my father, because right now, for me, it's almost like I can't even talk to him. I don't speak to him, nothing. Like, maybe, like, once or twice in a year, like, I'll send, like, a text or he'll send a text or whatever. And I think it also, like, goes to the relationship I have with my sister. And my sister is my best friend, but we went into two fields. Two different. Completely, completely different fields. I'm in film. She's a psychologist. She's at grad school. Yeah. You know, she does all these, like, crazy things. She's always been super smart. And I think my whole life, I felt that, well, when I was a kid, and I think a little bit now, I feel that my sister was always kind of,

[Lauren LaRosa]

like, propped up, like, the good kid.

[Sophie]

The good kid, the older sister that knew what she was up to. I was the one that was, like, flying off the walls. And I kind of got this feeling sometimes that my dad had more of a relationship with my sister because she was the one that always was in the middle. She always had to solve things. Yeah. So it was like, okay, well, if I have a great relationship, you know, with your sister, do you really matter? Almost. That's how it felt for me. Wow. And I think sometimes I have to distance myself from my sister because I kind of. Even though that's my best friend, I tell her everything. You feel away. I Feel away, because I feel like a little bit of the black sheep spread, especially in a family where, like, everybody went into business and finance and this and this. So I have to remove myself and remember that these people might not always know what I'm doing and what I'm up to, but that makes me happier than going to a family event and somebody going, what do you do again? Even though we've talked about it multiple times. Right. So those things make me want to be in my own world.

[Lauren LaRosa]

You're the youngest of your siblings. Is it just you and your sister?

[Sophie]

So it's me and my sister. I have two older stepsisters.

[Lauren LaRosa]

Okay, got you. But you. So you're. Yeah. And that's. That's. It's crazy. I think this is the first year for me as an older sister where I even begin to take my brother's feeling like that into account. I always used to be like, yo, suck it up. Like, you should be lucky. You have older. An older sister who is able and willing to help you and older people in your life. And now I notice certain things or the way people ask him questions about what he does or doesn't do and blah, blah, blah, and I'm like, I don't know. I just feel like even if a person doesn't have it all the way together, there are things that it just doesn't help. Like, everybody had to figure it out. I was just lucky enough that during my season of having to figure it out, I was able to mask a little bit more. I didn't have it. I don't have kids. I was living all the way in la and it looked good. Like, oh, my God, you're in la. But, like, car was being repossessed. I was struggling. I was living on somebody's couch for a long time, like. But people just thought it was so glamorous because you're trying to figure it out. It's, you know, it was. And I try to, you know, tell people the distance sometimes that, like, you might feel from a person when they choose to choose themselves, it's not even about you. Like, sometimes that person is locking in and kind of surrounding themselves with something that, like, blocks out the noise to the point where they can focus on where they need to get to. Because it's tough when you're in that phase of, like, figuring it out. I look at Ray J, and again, I have patience for him sometimes. Some of the stuff I'm like, boy, what are you talking about? But I look at him and I'm like, He's a person that has figured it out in his own way, and I think he's still figuring it out a bit. He's just so old now that people are like, why? But you have to look at what he comes from. Like, Brandy is literally called the vocal bible. How do you match up to that? But why also, why should you have to. Yeah, but. But that's how it goes, though, with siblings. And I think it's also tough, too, because it's playing out in front of the world, like, she's Brandy. He's also a celebrity. Ray J is like, also a huge name, celebrity wise, even though he's not Brandy. So everything they do, whether together or separate, is so amplified because we grew up with both of them in our households forever, and they both run their own lanes of entertainment. So that.

That's tough.

But.

[Brandon]

Yeah, another thing, Sophie, I'm low key, the black sheep, too, but I don't think you should distance yourself from your sister. You know, I mean, don't let that interfere with, like, the love I have for each other, because me and my siblings are, like, super close. They all, like, are really successful in their own industries as well. But, I mean, we're really close. I was on the phone, my sister yesterday. I talked to my brother all the time. Like, I don't think you should let that outside energy affect that. And like, even what you were saying, like, there's ways you can make it look good, you know, I said, my mom. There's a picture of me of Hattie LaBelle that. That bought me a few points.

[Lauren LaRosa]

That bought you a few. A few Christmases.

[Brandon]

But she won't ask you what you do again. Dang. Who's the Oprah's protege? The doctor?

[Lauren LaRosa]

Dr. Oz.

[Brandon]

Dr. Oz. My mom loves Dr. Oz. Like, like, they stop television people and stuff like that.

[Lauren LaRosa]

Wait, ain't Dr. Oz the one that support Trump now?

[Brandon]

She used to love him, but, yeah, so, like, but like, just like, stuff like that could, you know, I don't know if that's good advice, but I don't know where to buy you some points or, like, I don't know, or like, or communicate more what you're doing. Like, yeah, you know, I mean, I'm sure you like, film pretty cool people and, like, you know, I mean, maybe they'll understand. Maybe there's, like, a part of it they can relate to. Like, or maybe you could kind of show them, you know, how to work cameras or, like, you know, I mean, there's. There's different ways, you can, like, connect with them. So I don't think you should, you know, all the way distance yourself from them, because they don't understand. They're just. They're. They're older. They just don't. They just don't get it. In their time, there was nobody who could just make a living. Just. I mean, unless you were a Hollywood director.

[Lauren LaRosa]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Brandon]

There's nobody that could just on their own, start their own business of just filming people, you know, I mean, so.

[Shopify Speaker]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

And just, you know, just talking in front of a camera, so they. They just. They're just not gonna get it.

[Lauren LaRosa]

True, true. And look, and I. If you have to distance yourself for what you need to do, distance yourself. Do it. Brandy's doing.

[Brandon]

Distance yourself. Make sure you win. Just win. You know what I mean?

[Lauren LaRosa]

And pray. Yeah, and pray. Because, you know, that can become lonely and that can become cold, and it can be. Especially if you grew up differently. Right. Because that's another thing, too. Sometimes it's like growing apart from family or people you're supposed to have unconditional love from. It's tough, but sometimes it's needed for growth. So, you know, we appreciate you for calling in and sharing your story. Our love is with you. Our support. Support is with you. And thank you for being a listener. Thank you for being one of the low riders.

[Sophie]

Girl, of course. Thank you, guys.

[Lauren LaRosa]

Yes.

All right, y'.

All. So this has been another episode of the Latest with Lauren LaRosa, the podcast we are here. I mean, we'll do these segments more and more and more. If you guys are interested in being one of the callers on the podcast, when we do on the line with Lauren LaRosa, please email us at info [e-mail] Again, if you want to call in, get a topic, and talk to us. We'll be doing these periodically, and we need people to choose from. Infoowngirlgrinding.com My lowriders. I tell you guys, every single episode, y' all could be anywhere with any old body talking about all of these things, and y' all choose to be right here with me. I appreciate y'.

[Sophie]

All.

[Lauren LaRosa]

I'll catch you in my next one.

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[Brandon]

Com.

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[Lauren LaRosa]

This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.