Nia Long & Ime Udoka are in a good coparenting space after his alleged Celtics coworker cheating scandal

Summary

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The Breakfast Club – October 10, 2025

Episode Focus:
Nia Long & Ime Udoka Are in a Good Coparenting Space After His Alleged Celtics Coworker Cheating Scandal

Host: Lauren LaRosa (guest segment on The Breakfast Club)

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Episode Overview

This episode, guest host Lauren LaRosa delivers a deep dive into Nia Long’s career, her cultural impact, and her candid revelations from a new interview with The Cut. The main thrust of the discussion is how Nia Long has processed her public breakup with former Celtics coach Ime Udoka, their co-parenting relationship post-scandal, and her broader insights on womanhood, career, and motherhood. Lauren links Long’s journey to larger conversations about Black womanhood and ambition, mixing in her own reflections and inviting audience participation.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Celebrating Nia Long’s Legacy & Career

(02:22 – 06:00)

• Lauren sets the stage by emphasizing Nia Long’s longstanding importance as a 90s icon, not just in acting but also in shaping Black cultural representation:
  • “Nia Long is literally…a 90s culture architect.” (02:56, Lauren)
• She recaps Long’s filmography (Boys in the Hood, Love Jones, etc.), and highlights her recent milestone as Estee Lauder’s first North American ambassador.

2. Nia Long on Love, Career, and Self-Priority

(07:00 – 13:00)

• Lauren summarizes The Cut interview’s most viral quote, in which Long refuses to choose between romantic relationships and her professional dreams:
  • “‘I don’t think there’s ever been a time in my life where I was willing to give up my life to be someone’s wife or girlfriend. Ever. Period.’” (09:03, Nia Long, via The Cut)
• Long values independence—she admires stay-at-home moms but always prioritized having her own career and aspirations.
• Lauren relates to this, noting societal pressures on women’s financial expectations in relationships:
  • “There’s nothing wrong with that being a prerequisite…You got to come with all the presents…the offerings, the surprises, the trips. That’s the icing on the cake. That’s where I get to be a girly girl.” (11:19, Lauren quoting Nia Long and adding commentary)

3. Cultural Impact & Representation

(12:00 – 16:00)

• Lauren notes how Nia Long’s beauty became a standard—“Short hair like Nia Long”—but stresses she’s also an inspiration for her strength and agency, especially for Black women navigating ambition and identity.

4. Reflections on the Ime Udoka Scandal & Public Judgment

(16:00 – 19:00)

• Lauren revisits the widely-publicized cheating allegations against Ime Udoka:
  • “That’s like finding out you got cheated on at work and you got to finish a shift, but your heart is broken.” (08:00, Lauren)
• She underscores how Long was thrust into the spotlight not only as a celebrity, but as a symbol: “People forget that celebrities are human…You could take your baby father back like 10,000 times…The minute Nia Long takes anybody back, [people say] ‘I cannot believe her. She is a role model for Black women.’” (24:55, Lauren)
• Lauren recalls Long’s prior remarks about not feeling protected by organizations or the media during this period.

5. Mature Coparenting & Healing

(18:24 – 26:00)

• Lauren is both impressed and surprised by Long’s ability to co-parent amicably and even travel with Ime Udoka post-breakup:
  • “‘This summer, I traveled with my youngest son and my ex Ime—we had a great time...It was really beautiful, because we’ve had a very public journey that has found its way to peace and understanding and there’s a lot of mutual respect that we have for each other.’” (18:43, Nia Long via Lauren, quoting The Cut)
• Long prioritizes their son’s wellbeing and refuses to carry “burdensome energy”:
  • “‘The past is the past. I’m not gonna carry burdensome energy with me. That just transfers to my children and it transfers to everything else in my life. I’m working on me.’” (22:56, Nia Long via Lauren)
• Lauren admits she might not be mature enough to do the same, reflecting on the challenge of healing in public.

6. Personal Growth Across the Decades: 30s vs. 50s

(30:57 – 40:00)

• The dialogue shifts to what Long has learned at various life stages:
  • “‘Your 30s are a time to experience everything around you, so by the time you get to the age where you decide, I want to get married or have kids…you’ve been open enough to have these experiences to narrow down your purpose.’” (31:07, Lauren quoting Nia Long)
• Long shares she had her first child at 30, second at 40:
  • “‘I was so hyper focused on surviving that I probably should have had more fun…There’s a healthy balance between being intentional about your focus, your passion, and to just say, fuck it, and have fun.’” (33:15, Nia Long via Lauren)
• On entering her mid-50s:
  • “‘I still feel like I’m in my 30s. I feel smarter, I feel safe. I’ve practiced a lot of forgiveness over the past couple years. Most of my relationships are in a really good place. And I did it for myself. I didn’t do it for anyone else.’” (38:50, Nia Long via Lauren)

7. Host’s Personal Reflections & Broader Questions

(40:35 – 42:59)

• Lauren connects her own journey as a Black woman balancing career ambitions, family, and healing generational traumas.
• She asks listeners:
  • “Is anybody else out there scared like me? Is this thing on? I’m the only one? Let’s talk.” (41:42, Lauren)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Lauren (on Nia’s cultural role):
  “When I think about Nia Long, I just think of her as a 90s culture…architect.” (02:56)

• Nia Long (on relationships):
  “I don’t think there’s ever been a time in my life where I was willing to give up my life to be someone’s wife or girlfriend. Ever. Period.” (09:03, via The Cut)

• Nia Long (on financial standards):
  “It’s nice for a man to financially be giving…that’s where I get to be a girly girl.” (11:19, via Lauren quoting Nia Long)

• Nia Long (on coparenting):
  “This summer I travelled with my youngest son and my ex Ime—we had a great time…because we’ve had a very public journey that has found its way to peace and understanding…” (18:43, via The Cut)

• Lauren (on public scrutiny):
  “The minute Nia Long decides to take anybody back or we get a photo of them on this vacation and it’s picked up the wrong way…people forget celebrities are human.” (24:55)

• Nia Long (on growth in her 50s):
  “I feel smarter, I feel safe. I’ve practiced a lot of forgiveness over the past couple years. Most of my relationships are in a really good place. And I did it for myself. I didn’t do it for anyone else.” (38:50, via The Cut)

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Important Timestamps

• 02:22 — Lauren introduces Nia Long and her new Estee Lauder ambassador deal, dives into her legacy
• 09:03 — Viral quote: Nia Long on never sacrificing her life for a relationship
• 11:19 — On financial prerequisites in relationships and feminine joy
• 16:00-24:55 — Discussing Udoka scandal’s impact, Long’s strength under scrutiny
• 18:43 — Nia on coparenting trips with Ime Udoka post-breakup
• 22:56 — Nia on not carrying burdensome energy into coparenting, ongoing healing
• 31:07 — Long’s advice to women in their 30s: purpose, children, marriage
• 38:50 — Nia Long on personal peace, forgiveness, and feeling young in her 50s
• 41:42 — Lauren’s call for listener reflection: Is the “having it all” dream scary?

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Tone & Format Highlights

• Lauren’s narration is personal, confessional, and conversational, full of asides and real emotion.
• Maintains respect and admiration for Nia Long while weaving in her own parallel journey.
• Encourages honest dialogue about balancing family, ambition, healing, and social expectation—especially for Black women.

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Summary Takeaway

This episode uses Nia Long’s public journey—from Hollywood icon to a woman forging peace through personal trials—to spark timely discussion about marriage, motherhood, and ambition. Through candid quotes and heartfelt reflection, both Nia and Lauren embody the ongoing challenge (and possibility) of having it all, healing, and staying true to oneself in the spotlight.

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For more:
Check out Nia Long’s full interview in The Cut and join the conversation with Lauren LaRosa and The Breakfast Club community.

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Transcript

[A]

This is an iHeart podcast.

[B]

The murder of an 18 year old girl in Graves County, Kentucky went unsolved for years until a local housewife, a journalist and a handful of girls came forward with a story.

[A]

America, y' all better wake the hell up.

[C]

Bad things happens to good people in small towns.

[B]

Listen to Graves county on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcast and to binge the entire season ad free. Subscribe to Lava for Good plus on Apple Podcasts.

[D]

Short on time, but big on true crime. On a recent episode of the podcast Hunting for Answers, I highlighted the story of 19 year old Lachey Dungy. But she never knocked on that door. She never made it inside. And that text message would be the last time anyone would ever hear from her. Listen to Hunting for Answers from the Black Effect Podcast Network on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

[A]

I'm Bridget Armstrong, host of the new podcast the Curse of America's Next Top Model. I've been investigating the real story behind that iconic show.

[D]

I ended up having anorexia issues, bulimia.

[A]

Issues by talking to the mod, the producers, and the people who profited from it all. We basically sold our souls and they got rich. If you were so rooting for her and saw her drowning, why don't you help her Listen to the Curse of America's Next Top model on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[C]

What's up everybody?

[A]

It's snacks from the trapped nerds.

[C]

All October long, we're bringing you the horror.

[A]

Boogity, boogity, boogity.

[E]

We kicking off this month with some.

[A]

Of my best horror games to keep you terrified. Then we'll be talking about our favorite.

[C]

Horror Halloween movies and figuring out why.

[A]

Black people always die first. And it's the return of Tony's horror.

[E]

Show side Quest, written and narrated by yours truly.

[A]

We'll also be doing a full episode reading with commentary and we'll cap it off with a horror movie battle royale. Open your free Aha.

[C]

Radio app and search Trap Nerds podcast and listen. Now let's get to it. Time to do it.

[A]

I'm the homegirl that knows a little bit about everything and everybody exclusive. You know she don't lie about that, right? Lauren came in hot. Hey, y', all, what's up? It's Lauren LaRosa. And this is the latest with Lauren LaRosa. This is your daily dig on all things pop culture, entertainment news and all of the conversations that shake the room, baby. Now, today we are going to dive into an article that was honestly just released. As I was heading here to the podcast, I saw that this article was released and a major announcement about this celebrity was released. So we're going to get into all things Nia Long today. And for those of you, I mean, if you're listening to this podcast, I don't know how you would be unfamiliar with Nia Long. But for those, those of you who are unfamiliar with Nilong, honestly, I don't even want to do that. Because if you listen to this podcast and you're unfamiliar with Nia Long, the rock you live under is not my problem. We are not going to do that today. So Nia Long, you know, actress, you know, just, man, like, Nia Long is literally, when I think just saying actress to me is a. Is an underscore, is an undersell. I think when you talk about Nia Long and what her career has been, Nia Long has been. I'll just speak for me personally, like, she is an actor. And, you know, I visually, when I say actress, see all of the roles that she has played on camera, from boys in the hood to, I mean, even, even like recent things she's done. Like, you know, there is a movie, I forget what is it called. It's. It's about. I only remember her name in the movie CeCe Bloom, because my best friend Sierra, that's what her family calls her. Hold on one second. Beaches. Yes. So from Boys in the Hood to, I mean, Fresh Prince of Bel Air and of course, Love Jones. I mean, it's Nia Long. Like, Love Jones. Like, I just, I literally just watched Beaches again on Netflix. Nia Long remade the. I think it was the 80s film. The 80s film Beaches. And she played Cece Boom in a. In the film. But I mean, I just think of her as a. A 90s culture like, architect. And I feel like with Nia Long and she talks about it, we're going to get into a interview that she did for the Cut magazine. And the headline of the article says, Nia Long isn't romanticizing the past. She'd rather live in the moment and lift up the next generation in Hollywood. And I just think about everything that Nia Long, like, stood for, right? As a black woman in television, just a woman, a powerful, beautiful, but, like, sexy. Not afraid to say how she feels and show a powerful woman in Hollywood. For me, just watching her and I think about, you know, down to. They just announced that she is going to be Estee Lauder's first ever ambassador for North America exclusively, which means she'll get to do, like, TV deals and. Or TV campaigns and digital campaigns and all the things for the brand. But I'm like, duh. Like, Nia Long not only is a person that I watched on camera because she was great at playing these characters in these roles and storytelling and really just being the girl, you know, the girl next door and the girl from around the way who was so smart. You know, I remember boys in the hood. I always thought that it was so fire that, like, she was the girl that was, like, beautiful. And she was like, there. She's around, but she's headed to college and her head is on straight, and she's fly and she's sexy. And, you know, I think for a lot of us, you know, for me as a black woman looking at that on tv, it was like, okay, cool. Like, I'm growing up as a girl around the way, but there's more to just my neighborhood. But it's also okay for me to still be very intertwined and indulged and engulfed in my neighborhood. But when it's time to step away, it's time to step away. But also just being, I mean, I don't know, her beauty, to me, I'm like, duh, Estee Lauder and whoever else, CoverGirl, all the brands, right? But that came out today as well. So she did this interview with the Cut, and they talk about, you know, her and everything she's doing with Estee Lauder. But then they also get into just what being a woman in her role has meant for her. So she's speaking with the Cut, and they just start really getting into her life. And one of the things that is starting to go super viral already is one of the quotes from a part of the interview. So this part of the interview, they're talking along about balancing work and love, and she says, I don't think there's ever been a time in my life where I was willing to give up my life to be someone's wife or girlfriend ever, period. And then she laughs. She says, I don't care how difficult the journey has been. I think you can have both. And she's talking about the love and the career, which has always been a conversation, especially, you know, I mean, Neil Long has been in this game for a long time. Lia Long has kids. Nia Long has been in a very public, you know, situation with her partner, ime. I may. I'm probably saying his name wrong. I may who was coaching for the Celtics, you know, at the time when all this stuff was going down and there was the cheating allegations and Neil Long, like, publicly, that's like finding out you got cheated, cheated on when you at work, and it's like it's nothing you can do because you got to finish a shift, but you're so pissed and your heart is broken. Nia Long would do some things publicly with her youngest son's father. She has two sons. Her youngest son's father. Ime. I believe it's ime. Is it ime. Ime. Ime. If I'm saying it wrong, I apologize. I say a lot of people's names wrong. My bad. So. Okay, my bad. But yeah, so she's been through a lot publicly, but, you know, even before that, she had the career, she had the husband, she had the family, all of the things. And she says, I never wanted to wake up in my 30s and 40s and say, well, what is the value of my life? She says, now, don't get me wrong. I admire women who are committed to being stay at home wives and running a house and raising the children. That's a job. But I also know that those children grow up. And when they grow up, whether you're working, whether you're a working mom, a single mom, or stay at home mom, there's a moment that every woman feels like, okay, now it's time to reconnect, recreate who I am. Now it's time to tap into my passion because there's so much pouring out. It's like the give or take. It's basically like, okay, now your cup is empty and you got to refill it, so you got to give back somewhere. She says, I just have never been willing to give up my career and my dreams and my aspirations for a man. I think it's beautiful to have a partnership, but I don't need to be taken care of. It's nice to be treated. It's nice for a man to financially be giving. I love all of that. I'm here for all of that. And it's actually like a prerequisite, right? Yes, girl, I am. That's one of the biggest things I'm learning. There's nothing wrong with that being a prerequisite. The 2025 and this whole list of where people won't eat and will eat on the date. I ain't going to a chain restaurant. All that will make you feel like having prerequisites or things that you want when it comes to finances is a Bad thing as a woman, which is crazy to me. You don't gotta be, you know, I'm not the type that's like, if my man don't or can't, I won't. But you do want it. And I want to be honest about the fact that I want that. So I love that Neil Long said that. Here. She says, you got to come with all the presents. She laughs. The offerings, the surprises, the trips. That's the icing on the cake. That's where I get to be soft. That's where I get to be a girl's girl. I'm sorry. That's where I get to be a girly girl. Filth. Felt it. So when you. When I think about Nia Long and I think about, you know, since the 90s, how long Nia Long has been in this industry and been relevant in this industry. I mean, the minute I think about Nia Long, I think about the line. Short hair like Nia Long, like her beauty has been a focus. Short hair like Nia Long, people think of 90s, you know, beautiful brown skin, brown lip, brown gloss, soul food, Love Jones, the flipped up bob anytime I do short hair, brown lip brown. It's all. Even my shirt today. My shirt today. I don't know if you guys can see it well, because I'm sitting down, but it's very much Nia Long soul food inspired. When I put this on today, I was like, oh, I just want to do brown lip, natural glow vibes. Very much reminiscent of Nia Long. Always an inspo. But it's not just about her look. I think it's always for a lot of us, you know, women that are trying to figure this out, we, we model and we. Or we model and we look at women who seem like they have it all figured out. And I say seem like, not as a knock to what Nia Long may have or may not have figured out. But, you know, I just know people always say I look like I have it figured out, but I don't. Not about me. But like, she would probably, I'm assuming she would probably say that because everybody. And she says in this article, when she talks about co parenting and having to figure out her situation after that very public separation that we talked about, nobody has it all figured out, but eventually you get to a place of peace and understanding. And for Nia Long, looking at her career in the way that people have regarded her as a 90s beauty and all the things, that's something to aspire to. I think the way that People talk about you, in my opinion in this industry carries you in how you are or how you are perceived when you walk in before you're able to open your mouth and do so. And I think if you know nothing else about Nia Long, you know she is gorgeous. You know, she has had some of the most iconic roles. She's been one of the most impactful and iconic black faces and actress wise, you know, since the 90s. And you know that there are generations of women, especially us brown skinned girls that have looked at me along for inspo. So we're in it and we're not just doing it because of beauty. It's like, okay, she getting money, she looks good. The family unit is there, just all the things. And I think we saw a lot of how people regard Nia Long when the situation with her. Exactly. And her child's father, her youngest child's father happened because when everything came out, you know, about the allegations that were being thrown his way and in real time, Nia Long was being put in conversations of what was done to her in her relationship as far as, you know, his infidelity, his alleged infidelity, the world came out swinging like don't play with her like that, don't play with our girl like that. And also Nia Long has talked about, I remember she did a sit down with Jeezy and she talked about how she didn't feel protected in that situation and not by us because again we the people came out swinging for Nia Long. Like why is this even a public conversation? Why is this being leaked to press into media at all? But she said she felt she didn't feel protected or that the necessary steps were taken by the organization he was working with at the time and just people involved to protect her and their situation. And the fact that a lot of this should have remained anonymous. But we move on. All I know is what I've been told and that's a half truth is a whole lie.

[B]

For almost a decade, the murder of an 18 year old girl from a small town in Graves County, Kentucky went unsolved until a local homemaker, a journalist and a handful of girls came forward with a story.

[A]

I'm telling you, we know Quincy killed her.

[B]

We know a story that law enforcement used to convict six people and that got the citizen investigator on national tv.

[A]

Through sheer persistence and nerve, this Kentucky housewife helped give justice to Jessica Curran.

[B]

My name is Maggie Freeling. I'm a Pulitzer Prize winning journalist producer and I wouldn't be here if the truth were that easy to find.

[D]

I did not know her and I.

[A]

Did not kill her or rape or.

[D]

Burned or any of that other stuff.

[A]

That y' all said. They literally made me say that I took a match and struck and threw it on her. They made me say that I poured gas on her.

[B]

From Lava For Good. This is Graves County, a show about just how far our legal system will go in order to find someone to blame.

[A]

America, y' all better wake the hell up.

[C]

Bad things happens to good people and small towns.

[B]

Listen to Graves county in the Bone Valley feed on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts and to binge the entire season ad free. Subscribe to Lava for Good plus on Apple Podcast.

[D]

I'm Hunter, host of Hunting for Answers on the Black Effect Podcast Network. Join me every weekday as I share bite sized stories of missing and murdered Black women and girls in America. There are several ways we can all do better at protecting black women. My contribution is shining a light on our missing sisters and amplifying their disregarded stories. Stories like Tameka Anderson. As she drove toward Galvez, she was in contact with several people talking on the phone as she made her way to what should have been a routine transaction. But Tameka never bought the car and she never returned home that day. One podcast, one Mission.

[A]

Save Our Girls.

[D]

Join the search as we explore the chilling cases of missing and murdered Black women and girls. Listen to Hunting for Answers every weekday on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

[E]

I'm Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman, host of the Psychology Podcast. Here's a clip from an upcoming conversation about exploring human potential. I was going to schools to try to teach kids these skills and I get eye rolling from teachers or I get students who would be like, it's easier to punch someone in the face. When you think about emotion regulation, like you're not going to choose an adaptive strategy is more effortful to use unless you think there's a good outcome as a result of it. If it's going to be beneficial to you because it's easy to say, like go blank yourself, right? It's easy. It's easy to just drink the extra beer. It's easy to ignore, to suppress seeing a colleague who's bothering you and just like walk the other way. Avoidance is easier. Ignoring is easier. Denial is easier. Drinking is easier. Yelling, screaming is easy. Complex problem solving. Meditating, you know, takes effort. Listen to the psychology podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

[C]

But the humility in knowing that life is this classroom that we should never graduate from is what is going to keep you growing. And that's all that matters. World Mental Health Day is around the corner. And on my podcast, just heal with Dr. Dr. J, I dive into what it really means to care for your mind, body and spirit. From breaking generational patterns to building emotional capacity, healing is a journey and wholeness is the destination.

[A]

I'm gonna walk away feeling very healed and feeling like, yes, I'm gonna continue my healing journey and I, I'm gonna get some keys from you.

[C]

Listen to just Hill with Dr. J from the Black Effect Podcast Network on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.

[A]

She also talks about co parenting in this article. And to my surprise, because I'm be honest with y'. All, if I was Neil Long and I had to go through what she had to go through because she's a public figure and this was, you know, you talking about, you know, he's a coach for the Celtics at the time and it's a very high profile situation, it would be a bit hard for me to figure out co parenting in the way she's describing in this article. I get it. They have kids and they got to figure it out. But I think, I don't know, there would just be a level of hurt and distrust that I don't know, I would be able to as easily get over. But maybe it's different when you got kids. I don't have kids yet, but she says. Nia Long says this summer I travel with my youngest son and my ex. Ime we had a great time. And that's what I mean by I don't know if I could get to this point where y' all are seeing us out in public, traveling together. You know, we showing up at like basketball, soccer ball, soccer ball, basketball, soccer games together. That's one thing that's easy to say, okay, they're both here because of like, whatever. But traveling on trips together, her kid can easily go with his father and take that same trip. It's a very big step for you guys to be doing that together. She says this summer I travel with my youngest son and my ex. We had a great time. I've never walked that much in my life, but it was really beautiful because we've had a very public journey that has found its way to peace and understanding and there's a lot of mutual respect that we have for each other. The most important gift you can give your kids is to heal your trauma. And that's what I mean by, look, I don't have kids. So me, right now, I'm speaking from a place of that trauma will still be sitting very deep at the top of my stomach. And every single time I would have to engage, it would just come up like, look, come up like the spirits in me, okay? It would hit me like the Holy Ghost every single time. I had to just see the person in real life anyway. But listen, maybe kids give you a different sense of strength that I don't have yet, in a different sense of needing for peace. Because I'm all here for peace. But my piece is I never have to see you again or talk to you. They don't have a choice here. She says, I don't talk much about my personal life because it's no one's business. But every now and then, people speculate on social media, and it's like, me and Coach are good. I hope he wins. He deserves to win. He really. He's really great at what he does. We can have experiences with our son and make him the priority. There's still healing to be done and understanding to be had, but the past is the past. And that's what I think, to me, is the. Is what is so, like, oh, my God, Lauren, you might need to grow up, like, so remarkable and profound here because I can understand piece is piece. There's no issue. But I think that's easier said than done when, again, I don't have to deal with any. Anybody that I've dealt with in the past. I don't have to deal with them. We have no strings attached. Not. Not a thing. Okay. Love that. For me. Love it. Like, I really, at this point, I don't even have an ex. I've never dated anybody besides the person I'm dating right now. That is how I handle, you know, life at this point, and that brings me peace. But it's a bit different here especially, too. I think even if they didn't share a son together, it's a bit different because, again, it was so high profile. So you're always attached to that person. Once it's high profile and it hits the media and it becomes a storyline, she says there's still healing that needs to be done and understanding to be had. But the past is the past. I'm not gonna carry burdensome energy with me. That just transfers to my children and it transfers to everything else in my life. I'm working on me Nia. All right, I hear you speaking. I'm proud of myself. I think we're proud of each other as parents, and we're able to make this an annual thing and commit to these last sweet years of him being in grade school and high school before he goes off to college, we're both going to be standing there watching him graduate. And, I mean, I think this is the place that you have to arrive to, especially with a kid, grade school, ages, that's a big kid. Your kid is on social, so your kid is hearing things, seeing things. And even if your kid is not directly on social, their friends are. We just talked today at the Breakfast Club about Blue Ivy and when Blue Ivy was doing the Cowboy Carter tour. Y' all remember in the beginning of the tour, people were, you know, having some things to say about her dancing and her choreography, especially because, I mean, Beyonce is her mom. But Matthew Knowles told Carlos King on Reality with the King that social media was the reason that Blue Ivy went. Basically got in the gym. So I think at this point, when you have a kid that is this old and also, too, you know, Nia Long and, you know, her ex were together for some time, and they're just in different spaces, a lot more mature than I am, you don't have a choice but to get to this place. And I think that it's important because you have so much going on day to day. And don't get me wrong, I'm not harboring any bad feelings or ill will for anybody in my past. I think I've gotten to a point too, where I'm like, I don't even know if these people deserve that energy, but I don't interact with anyone. I think if I were to have to interact with any ex that I had any bad breakup situation with, honestly, like, my. My last situation, if I were to walk past him today or tomorrow, it would be nothing. Like, literally even if he were to speak, it'd just be like, oh, hey, what's up? But it's taking time for me to get there. And I've had the luxury of not having to interact and just acting like he fell off the edge of the earth because it's what I needed. I'm sure it's what he needed as well, too. But I had also gotten to a place by the end of that where, like, it wasn't, like, abrupt. Like, it seems like Nia Long's situation with her ex and her child's, her youngest son's father was very, like, she didn't have A choice. Like, it was like, everything hit the news, and it was just like, okay, is Nian Long gonna go back? Is she not gonna go back? And I think she did have a choice. Let me not say that she did have a choice, but I think there is pressure when, you know, you got the whole world and all these girls who doing a short hair like Nia Long and a brown lip line and looking up to you about, what are you gonna do in this situation? And people forget that celebrities are only human. So it's like, you could take your baby father back like 10,000, 11 times, right? He don't come pick up the kids. He got about four or five baby mamas. You arguing and fussing and fighting with all of them. You can take them back. Cool. The minute Nia Long decides to take anybody back or we get a photo of them on this vacation and it's picked up the wrong way, as if they might be trying to figure things out. Baby, you the same person in the comments. Like, I cannot believe her. She is a role model for black women. People forget that celebrities are human. But, I mean, Neil Long stood in where she stood in. I think that's always been one of the things, again, that, you know, you look at people and you admire about them. It's like, it seems Nia don't take no shit is what it seems like. And be it as it may, she's grown up in an industry where she can't. So that goes into so many other parts of her life. She continues to say, I talk about my kids a lot because they take up so much space in my life and my heart. Everything I do is for them. I'm not a perfect mother. I've made many mistakes. My kids have seen me go through it, but that's the type of mother I am. If I'm pissed, everyone knows. See, that's so crazy that I said that. And I hadn't even read this paragraph in prep for today's episode. I just. I've never met Nia Long, but just from watching her in interviews and how she's navigated her career in her characters, too. And I like in her characters. But I think it gets to a certain point where, you know, when you're in a certain part of your career, you get to pick and choose kind of what you're playing and why you're playing it. And, you know, you're very mindful about what you're picking. And she's been able to craft almost like a brand or a conversation for herself through her characters. All I know is what I've been told and that's a half truth is a whole lie.

[B]

For almost a decade, the murder of an 18 year old girl from a small town in Graves County, Kentucky went unsolved until a local homemaker, a journalist and a handful of girls came forward with a story.

[A]

I'm telling you, we know Quincy killed her.

[B]

We know a story that law enforcement used to convict six people and that got the citizen investigator on national tv.

[A]

Through sheer persistence and nerve, this Kentucky housewife helped give justice to Jessica Curran.

[B]

My name is Maggie Freeling. I'm a Pulitzer Prize winning journalist producer and I wouldn't be here if the truth were that easy to find.

[D]

I did not know her and I.

[A]

Did not kill her or rape or.

[D]

Burn or any of that other stuff.

[A]

That y' all said. They literally made me say that I took a match and struck and threw it on her. They made me say that I poured gas on her.

[B]

From Lava for good. This is Graves County, a show about just how far our legal system will go in order to find someone to blame.

[A]

America, y' all better wake the hell up.

[C]

Bad things happens to good people and small towns.

[B]

Listen to Graves county in the Bone Valley feed on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts and to binge the entire season ad free. Subscribe to Lava for Good plus on Apple Podcasts.

[D]

I'm Hunter, host of Hunting for Answers on the Black Effect Podcast Network. Join me every weekday as I share bite sized stories of missing and murdered Black women and girls in America. There are several ways we can all do better at protecting black women. My contribution is shining a light on our missing sisters and amplifying their disregarded stories. Stories like Tameka Anderson. As she drove toward Galvez, she was in contact with several people talking on the phone as she made her way to what should have been a routine transaction. But Tameka never bought the car and she never returned home that day. One Podcast, one Mission.

[A]

Save our Girls.

[D]

Join the search as we explore the chilling cases of missing and murdered Black women and girls. Listen to Hunting for Answers every weekday on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

[E]

I'm Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman, host of the Psychology Podcast. Here's a clip from an upcoming conversation about exploring human potential. I was going to schools to try to teach kids these skills and I get eye rolling from teachers or I get who would be like it's easier to punch someone in the face when you think about emotion regulation. Like, you're not going to choose an adaptive strategy which is more effortful to use unless you think there's a good outcome as a result of it, if it's going to be beneficial to you. Because it's easy to just say, like. Like you go blank yourself, right? It's easy. It's easy to just drink the extra beer. It's easy to ignore, to suppress seeing a colleague who's bothering you and just, like, walk the other way. Avoidance is easier. Ignoring is easier. Denial is easier. Drinking is easier. Yelling, screaming is easy. Complex problem solving, meditating, you know, takes effort. Listen to the psychology podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[C]

But the humility in knowing that life is this classroom that we should never graduate from is what is going to keep you growing, and that's all that matters. World Mental Health Day is around the corner. And on my podcast, just heal with Dr. J, I dive into what it really means to care for your mind, body, and spirit. From breaking generational patterns to building emotional capacity. Healing is a journey, and wholeness is the destination.

[A]

I'm going to walk away feeling very healed and feeling like, yes, I'm gonna continue my healing journey and I. I'm gonna get some keys from you.

[C]

Listen to just heal with Dr. J from the Black Effect Podcast Network on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[A]

Now, this next part of the article, and we're gonna end here because I want to open it up for conversation from you guys. This next part of the article hit me very close to home. So they talked to me along about being in her 30s, and then they talked to Nia long about being in her 50s. So she says, your 30s are a time to experience everything around you, so that by the time you get to the age where you decide, I want to get married or I want to have kids or I don't want to get married, but I still want to have children, you've been open enough to have these experiences to narrow down your purpose. I think 30 is definitely the time where, like, you start thinking purpose. Like, you think you know purpose, and you think, you know, oh, my God, this is why God put me here and the world deserves to get this version of me. No, I think 30 is where you, at least, I don't think you get it fully in your 30s, but I think you start thinking about it in a real way and things are hitting you differently, especially if you coming into your 30s with kids or thinking about having them. She says when I was 30, I was like, and I'm 33. That's why this hit me so close to home. She says, when I was 30, I was like, okay, I want to have my first child by 30. I thought I was going to have my first child at 25. Like, that was always my thing before I got to college. When I got to college, I was like, 25 is not happening. Okay, I need my years back that I just spent in college. We gonna look at 35 now I'm 33. And I'm like, oh, God. She says, when I was 30, I was like, okay, I want to have my first child by 30. And it was always weird because I never said I wanted to be married. Marriage was secondary because I felt if it was meant to be, that would happen. I had my first child at 30 and my second one at 40. I was so hyper focused on surviving that I probably should have had more fun. So I think there's a healthy balance between being intentional about your focus, your passion, and to just say, fuck it and have fun. You're going to have plenty of years to grind it out. That part hit me because one of my biggest things right now is, you know, I'm open to the idea of beginning to plan having my children. I don't want to have children right now. This is not the time. I think I'm just beginning to build, like, foundation in a real way for myself, career wise. And that's very important for me to. I know it won't be all figured out, but I do want a certain foundation before I have my kids. But when she said she at one point was planning her children, and she was just like, you know, if marriage happens, it happens. I want to be married. I want the family dynamic. That is something I've always said. But I realized this year that I've been. Even though I've always said that. And a big part of that is because I didn't grow up with my father in my house. I met my dad when I was like 13. I can pick up the phone and call him. He may or he may not answer. It depends on what he's going through that day. And if. If he answers, how well our conversation goes depends on him, his energy that day. And I mean, my dad watches and listens to everything, gets upset when I say things like that. But it's the honest truth and the reason why I bring that up, it's not a stab at him. It's just that I realized this year has created an idea in my mind of, like, okay, I want to be married, and I want the family dynamic, because it's not what I had traditionally in my house. My brother's dad was around. I have a lot of uncles and, like, all of that. So I was straight. I never knew I needed for a man in the household until I met people who had their dads in their house. But it's. So it's created this idea that, yes, I want all of this stuff because I didn't have it, and I know it's needed, but I don't even really know why. Like. Like, what is the need? Like. Like, why am I saying that? Like, I'm saying it because traditionally that's what's supposed to happen. But I think this past. So not this past summer. It was the summer prior to that. About. Yeah, the summer when I came home from LA and I was in transition. So it was, you know, I had done a little bit of the guest host in 2023, Breakfast Club. That was the first time that me and my dad spent, like, actual, real time together because he was helping me renovate an event space that I had at the time. And I remember one day we were on the phone with contractors or it was like a painting company. It was a painting company, like a paint store. And my dad has a interior decorating business, does painting and all the things. So that's why he was there helping me. And there were two conversations, actually. So this is the first one. So I was on the phone with the paint store, and I'm talking through things, and he's telling me what to say, and I think I said something wrong or like, they told me they didn't have something that, like, it didn't make sense for them not to have. And he took the phone, and the way that they talked to him, it was a guy on the phone, the way that he talked to my dad. And just. I don't know the level of understanding that happened in the conversation instantly, because a man got in the phone, got on the phone, and kind of just like, took over. And I was able to sit back. I remember literally the feeling of, like, oh, this is what having a dad around is like. And for, like, I literally remember that. And that's something as small as, like, ordering paint from a paint store. But I just remember the. The reassurance of, like, my dad got it, and, like, the reassurance of, oh, a man is here. So it feels like, like, there's like, a Safer space or like a, you know, like, I. I never felt that before, so I didn't really understand because it's different when it's your father versus, like, you know, my brother's dad and even that him and my mom weren't together. Getting too personal. My whole point is, is that when I read this from Nia Long, I realized that when she says, and it was always weird because I never said I wanted to be married, that's different for me. I've always said I wanted to be married, but she says marriage was secondary because I felt if it was meant to be, that would happen. I think in my mind I'm saying this is what I want. But my actions, I was moving. Like, I mean, I can deal with whoever, even if I don't see my forever or this being the father of my children, because that's just gonna find me, like the great man who's the father of my children, but not just the father of my children, but my life partner and my husband. Oh, that'll just find me. I don't need to be intentional because it'll just snap into or it'll just happen. No. I got to a certain point being single and being in my 30s and really starting to, like, think through what I want. My, like. Like this thing over here on the left of me that I'm saying I want, like, marriage and children and, like, I don't just want a man in my house and to be married, because I didn't see that. I want a real life partner. I want my kids to see me happy. I want my kids to see me working through things and it actually working out when I'm not happy. I want my kids to see me being respected, valued, and I want my kids to see me doing that to someone as well. And I. Oh, my God. Like, this past, like, year has just been. Even the way I speak about kids, I say my kids. And I've had to learn how to be like our kids and our cause. In my mind, marriage and all that. It was just like, I'm gonna do that because it hasn't been done and I haven't seen it. Not because I truly felt like I was ever gonna find a person that, like, was my actual, like, okay, this is my partner. We're equally yoked. This is what my children need. Not just, this is what I want for them. That whole little line right there. Oh, it's just going to happen. It'll just fall into place. Felt that that's where I was up until this year. 33. And then she compares it to her. Her 50s. And she says, I'm turning 55 this year. My 60s are around the corner. It sounds crazy to me, but I still feel like I'm in my 30s. I feel smarter, I feel safe. I've practiced a lot of forgiveness over the past couple years. Most of my relationships are in a really good place. And I did it for myself. I didn't do it for anyone else. Don't get me wrong, there are days that I want to go in. We all have that. But when I feel that pressure or that angst or that anxiety or that need to have a deeper understanding of something or someone, I tend to get quiet and think about what I'm going through rather than whatever the outside circumstance is. And then you can approach things differently. I'm not in my 50s, but I feel like I've begun to do that a bit differently. And maybe it's too. It's because of, like, Nia Long has been famous and has had platform and success in a public eye for a really long time. Everything's just starting for me, like, and I'm such a. I'm like, you know, small fish, huge pond on this platform that is, like, you know, elevating things every single day for me. So I'm beginning to think about how I deal with things, how I respond to things so much more and so differently than how I've ever been. Because my only thought is, you can't f this up. This is your shot. You cannot mess this up. And anything you do can, has a chance to hit the public. You cannot mess this up. So, I mean, this article, and I didn't even fully go through everything but this article, in reading about Nia Long and just, you know, where her thinking is today from where she's come from and where she's been and where she's going, she talks about, you know, she's dropping a memoir soon. She has a project coming up with Lorenz Tate. It was a great read. It was a great read. And I think, you know, here on the Latest with Lauren LaRosa, I think one of the things that is beautiful is that we get to talk about things in pop culture and in conversations, in conversation, but we get to really have a conversation. This was, you know, something that made me reflect. Would love for you guys to go read the article on the Cut, the feature on Nia Long. Let me know what you guys think. Get in the comments. Get in. You know, the tweets take us to the streets and the Tweets you for the tweets. We outside. We outside. We outside. Outside in the tweets.

[C]

Every other page are gold.

[A]

I want to hear from you guys, ladies, especially, like, the ladies. I would love to hear from you guys, because I think that conversation of, like, have it all. We're having it a lot more now, and we see people who do it. Like, I commend Cardi B. I commend all of the women, Beyonce, all of the women that are able to. Because it's not easy whatsoever, but it's scary. That is one of the things that I am most scared of doing. Someone asked me a question. What. What is the. The dream that you were scared of most? And I said, becoming a mom. And I'm not scared, because I don't think I'll be a great mom. I'll adjust. I move and shake. I. I. Look, you can take care of your mother and your grandmother, because the older people get, the more you can't tell them nothing. If I can figure that out, I can figure out a child, especially with a great partner, which I have. But the biggest thing for me is how will it impact my career? You know, you got to be fit. You got to show up physically, mentally, in ways like never before when you're a woman on a platform. And I'm new here, so my girl, you only got one shot. Comes into thought so much when I think about, when am I going to have kids? I want kids, twins to start. Twin girls. And they're going to be all over YouTube. That's a whole nother story. But, yes, like, that's one of the. That's one of my biggest. Like, I'm scared. It's like I'm playing double Dutch. Like, all right, win. All right. When? Because I do want to plan it. I think my career deserves a plan. A plan a bit. But I'm down, you know, if not playing. But I'm scared. So hearing her talk about, you know, just the way she used to think about marriage, and, you know, she's okay with having a career while having a family, and she's always been that way. She's always set out to be that way. It's encouraging to hear because it's tough. So ladies in the streets, in the tweets, let me know what y' all think. Is anybody else out there scared like me? Is this thing on? I'm the only one. Let's talk. At the end of the day, you guys could be anywhere with anybody having a conversation about all these things, but you choose to be right here with with me, my low riders. And I appreciate you guys for that. I'm Lauren LaRosa. This is the latest with Lauren LaRosa and I will see you guys in my next episode.

[B]

The murder of an 18 year old girl in Graves County, Kentucky went unsolved for years until a local housewife, a journalist and a handful of girls came forward with a story.

[A]

America, y' all better wake the hell up. Bad things happens to good people and small towns.

[B]

Listen to Graves county on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts and to binge the entire season ad free. Subscribe to lots of For Good plus on Apple Podcasts.

[D]

Short on time, but big on true crime. On a recent episode of the podcast Hunting for Answers, I highlighted the story of 19 year old Lachey Dungey. But she never knocked on that door. She never made it inside. And that text message would be the last time anyone would ever hear from her. Listen to Hunting for Answers from the Black Effect Podcast Network on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

[A]

I'm Bridget Armstrong, host of the new podcast the Curse of America's Next Top Model. I've been investigating the real story behind that iconic show.

[D]

I ended up having anorexia issues, bulimia.

[A]

Issues by talking to the models, the producers and the people who profited from it all. We basically sold our souls and they got rich. If you were so rooting for her and saw her drowning, why don't you help her Listen to the Curse of America's Next Top model on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

[C]

What's up everybody?

[A]

It's snacks from the trapped nerds.

[C]

All October long, we're bringing you the horror.

[A]

Boogity boogity boogity.

[E]

We kicking off this month with some.

[A]

Of my best horror games to keep you terrified. Then we'll be talking about our favorite.

[C]

Horror and Halloween and figuring out why.

[A]

Black people always die first. And it's the return of Tony's horror.

[E]

Show side Quest, written and narrated by yours truly.

[A]

We'll also be doing a full episode reading with commentary and we'll cap it off with a horror movie battle Royale. Open your free I Heart radio app.

[C]

And search Trap Nerds podcast and listen.

[A]

Now this is an iHeart podcast.