The Breakfast Club: Perspektives with Bank LIVE
Date: December 27, 2024
Podcast: The Breakfast Club x Perspektives with Bank
Location: Anderson Smith Art Gallery
Hosts/Panelists: Big Bank, Chanel (Charnel), Jojo, Shaz the Model, Kodak, Audience
Episode Overview
This live edition of “Perspektives with Bank” dives into modern relationships, gender roles, love, intimacy, and emotional expectations in today’s society. Recorded in front of a lively audience, the panel—led by Big Bank, Chanel, Jojo, Shaz, and Kodak—debates generational shifts, authenticity in dating, traditional vs. modern values, sexual freedom, partnership, emotional regulation, infidelity, and leadership, all with candid humor and unfiltered truths.
Key Topics & Discussion Highlights
1. Self-Love & Wellness Check
- (07:30) The episode kicks off with affirmations about self-love and prioritizing oneself:
- Big Bank: “We're not gonna love you till you love yourself…Make sure you love yourself first. Always support yourself first. Be your number one fan.”
- After brief introductions, the mood is light as the panel checks in with each other’s energy and outfits (“Kodak in his Sunday best… Sensational!”) and banter about payday.
2. Who Should Make the First Move? Approaching vs. Chasing
- (13:00-25:00) The group discusses assertiveness in dating, examining if women should approach men.
- Chanel: Shares how she positions herself to be noticed by men without directly "chasing" them.
- (14:45) “I'm gonna walk past you and you're gonna see me if I want you.”
- Jojo: Advocates for directness:
- (15:20) “If I want to talk to you and I'm not on that, I'm going to introduce myself and say, ‘Hey, I think you cute...’ I don't think there's nothing wrong with that.”
- Kodak: Challenges how to stand out if other women are also being assertive:
- (16:00) “If he always get approached like that...what’s gonna make you stand out?”
- Discussion on generational differences: older panelists lean traditional; younger women (Jojo) are more open to shooting their shot.
- Chanel: Shares how she positions herself to be noticed by men without directly "chasing" them.
3. Career vs. Family: Has the Expectation for Women Changed?
- (35:00-45:00) Will women always have to choose between career and family?
- Big Bank:
- (35:25) “Do what you want to do, baby...You want to be the biggest hustler, be the biggest hustler. You want to be the biggest wife, be the biggest wife.”
- Chanel: Shares personal experiences of being let down by men and how that shaped her drive for financial independence:
- (38:10) “Work helped me grow my business...when they did something I didn't like and I had an opinion about it, he said, ‘Oh, I'm not gonna pay your bills.’”
- Discussion on how failures of traditional male partners push women to embrace "boss" energy, sometimes at the expense of traditional submission.
- Big Bank:
4. Traditional vs. Modern Gender Roles: Can You Have It All?
- (47:00-57:00) The panel debates the (apparent) contradiction in women wanting “traditional” men while being “modern” women.
- Audience Male:
- (47:51) “Y'all want traditional values, be approached traditionally, but you want to live a modern boss lady. How does that work?”
- Chanel: Counters that her leadership at home is about partnership, not domination.
- Discussion acknowledges changing gender roles:
- (53:15) “You can't want granddaddy and don't want to be grandma…Grandma went through a lot to keep Granddad.”
- Audience Male:
5. Sexual Freedom and Experimentation
- (65:00+) Are we living in a more sexually experimental era?
- Shaz the Model:
- (65:44) “This is definitely the era...you can be yourself...I like girls, so I can experiment…without being judged.”
- Jojo: Stresses the importance of pleasing your partner and being open:
- (66:45) “If you're not going to go and do these sexual things with your partner...they're going to want to wander off and do those things with other people.”
- Chanel: Candid about her own boundaries and openness:
- (68:00) “I'm willing to do everything else. I am an open book. I have had sex in every airport that I've ever been in...Just don't bring no boy up in here.”
- Shaz the Model:
6. Who Regulates Whose Emotions?
- (76:45–89:00) Is it a woman’s job to manage a man’s emotions?
- Big Bank:
- (76:50) “If you got emotions that's going on through life, yes, she's supposed to help you manage them.”
- Chanel:
- (79:29) “Men need to feel safe. And as a woman, you have to be their safe space.”
- Jojo: Points out men are often unaccustomed to expressing emotions:
- (81:10) “A lot of men do not know how to control their emotions. They don't even know they have emotions.”
- Shaz: Warns that women shouldn’t be expected to heal trauma from a man’s past—therapy is necessary too.
- Kodak: Shares he’s straightforward about his needs (“I don't feel I would need a woman to regulate my emotions...”)
- Big Bank:
7. Love, Conditions, and Infidelity
- (92:00-115:00)
- Question from Audience (92:18): "Why is love so conditional for women? Men love unconditionally."
- Jojo:
- (94:10) “There's nothing I can do as a man to make you not be a woman if you're a woman...You have to do things for me if you want me to show up. I'm not just showing up for anything.”
- Debate about conditional vs. unconditional love, and emotional labor in relationships.
- Infidelity & Accountability:
- (107:00) Candid talk—Chanel:
- "I've never been faithful...I went to therapy, but they did not make me cheat…it was another n**** looking at me…"
- Panel debates nature of cheating—character or circumstance?
- (107:00) Candid talk—Chanel:
8. Communication, Authenticity & ‘The Mask’ in Dating
- (120:00+)
- Big Bank:
- (121:12) “Everybody comes into a relationship with a mask on.”
- The panel explores authenticity, why people hide their real selves at the start, and how sustained “game” eventually fails.
- Big Bank:
9. Decision-Making Under Pressure & Leadership
- (150:00+)
- Kodak:
- (150:37) "In a clutch situation, that's why the man is the leader of the house...he can make better decisions in that moment."
- Jojo & Chanel: Argue women are rational and adept under pressure, and that the best outcomes are achieved together:
- (153:40) “When two come together, I don’t think it’s a standalone situation.”
- The group agrees: in relationships and leadership, input from both perspectives is best.
- Kodak:
10. Intuition, Trust, and Accountability
- (169:00–end)
- Debate about the accuracy of women's intuition, how much women trust themselves, and why people ignore red flags.
- Chanel:
- (175:15) “Most of the time, we don't trust ourselves...we did pick the last n**** that didn’t do right.”
- Big Bank: Calls for owning choices rather than blaming intuition or partners.
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
- Big Bank: “Do what you want to do, baby. Just do whatever you want to be.” (35:25)
- Chanel: “Men need to feel safe. And as a woman, you have to be their safe space. If you're not, they're going to search everywhere for it.” (79:29)
- Jojo: “I have never been faithful to nobody. I never have...but they did not make me cheat...I'm working on it.” (107:00)
- Shaz the Model: “This is definitely the era you can try out...Like, I like girls, so I can experiment without being judged.” (65:44)
- Audience Male: “Y'all want traditional values...but you want to live a modern boss lady. How does that work?” (47:51)
- Kodak: “In the bedroom, what another got going on don’t matter to me.” (69:30)
- Big Bank: “I wouldn't be a man without a woman.” (157:47)
Key Takeaways
1. Relationships Are Negotiations
- Both genders want authenticity and partnership but wrestle with the baggage of past disappointments, modern independence, and changing cultural expectations.
2. Gender Roles Are Fluid, Not Fixed
- Generational, industry, and personal attitudes shape different approaches to dating, pursuit, provider/protector roles, and submission.
3. Vulnerability Is Valuable, But Scarce
- Both men and women struggle with trust, vulnerability, and allowing partners to see their true selves.
4. Sexual Freedom Is Embraced but Stigma Remains
- There’s openness about sexual experimentation, but partners have boundaries that are non-negotiable.
5. Emotional Intelligence is Essential
- Managing each other's emotions is expected, but individuals must also seek therapy and self-awareness.
6. Decision-Making Works Best When Collaborative
- While men are often expected to “lead under pressure,” the best choices come from balanced input.
7. Intuition vs. Hindsight
- Many women admit ignoring their instincts in the hope that love or sex will change a partner—a lesson in accountability.
8. Communication is the Foundation
- What destroys relationships isn’t just infidelity or finances, but the failure to communicate openly and honestly.
Timestamps for Major Segments
- 07:30 – Opening Affirmations & Wellness Check
- 13:00 – Assertiveness in Dating: Women Approaching Men
- 35:00 – Career vs. Family: Evolving Expectations
- 47:00 – Traditional vs. Modern Roles
- 65:40 – Sexual Experimentation & Openness
- 76:45 – Emotional Regulation in Relationships
- 92:00 – Conditions of Love & Fidelity
- 120:00 – Communication & Authenticity
- 150:00 – Decision-Making Under Pressure
- 169:00 – Intuition, Trust, and ‘Red Flags’
Final Words
The episode closes with affirmations of love and mutual respect across genders:
- Big Bank: “I wouldn't be a man without a woman.”
- The group agrees that while relationships are complex and at times frustrating, understanding, patience, growth, and honest communication are the cornerstones to lasting partnerships.
For further engagement:
- Follow the panelists on their social platforms.
- Look out for upcoming live shows and Chanel’s book “Fifth Time is a Charm.”
Listen to the full episode on iHeartRadio or your favorite podcast platform.