Replay* | Just Heal with Dr. Jay: Living and Healing In Peace with Taraji P. Henson

Summary

Podcast Summary
The Breakfast Club (Replay) | Just Heal with Dr. Jay: Living and Healing In Peace with Taraji P. Henson
Date: March 17, 2026
Host: Dr. J Barnett
Guest: Taraji P. Henson

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Episode Overview

This special episode of “Just Heal with Dr. J” focuses on the theme of healing, self-care, and living in peace, featuring a vulnerable and insightful conversation between Dr. J Barnett and acclaimed actress Taraji P. Henson. Together, they explore personal healing journeys, the importance of community, childhood healing, and the necessity of protecting one’s peace, especially amidst the unique challenges faced by Black communities. The episode is rich with practical wisdom, personal anecdotes, and candid reflections intended to encourage listeners to prioritize healing, vulnerability, and communal support.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Importance of Genuine Check-Ins and Emotional Honesty

• [04:21] Dr. J opens by asking Taraji not "how are you doing?" but "how are you feeling?" to encourage genuine emotional check-ins.
• Taraji responds:
  "I'm feeling blessed today. Really happy and excited about today because you know, of course we're having our symposium, and we're helping the kids. And I actually used to go to Oxon Hill High School. So I feel really good about giving back to them in this way." [04:55]

2. Giving Back and Community Healing

• Taraji and Dr. J talk about their ongoing work through the Boris Henson Foundation, focused on destigmatizing mental health and providing therapy within the Black community.
• Dr. J attributes much of his public platform to Taraji’s support:
  "Y'all only know me because of Taraji ... It was a black woman. It was you. I think, came across one of my videos, and then your team reached out to me. This was what, 2020?" [05:21-06:11]

3. Travel as Healing – Lessons from Bali

• [06:27-08:23] Taraji shares how traveling to Bali serves as a crucial retreat for her healing and self-care:
  "It's a great place to recenter because it's not a place about vanity ... It's literally eat, pray, love. The people are beautiful ... clean eating. I just feel so nurtured. We call it Mother Bali because the land is so nurturing."
• She details the restorative effect:
  "The first time I went, I landed at some weird hour ... I slept for 12 hours. I never could sleep that peacefully in the States." [07:49-08:15]
• Coming back to the chaos of America, she relates feeling disrupted and overwhelmed by negative news events.

4. Creating Sanctuary at Home & Reconnecting to Inner Child

• Taraji emphasizes the necessity of creating peace within her environment:
  "Where I live is very peaceful. My house sits on a hill away from the noise. It's my sanctuary ... I have my playroom, which is my salon ... I could be, the world could be burning up and I'd be in my salon having fun with my doll heads." [09:57-11:42]
• She highlights how play and simple joys help her reconnect to her childhood self, which brings her inner peace.

5. Healing and the Inner Child

• Dr. J and Taraji discuss how healing is about reconnecting to the parts of yourself that were wounded or neglected in childhood.
• Taraji:
  "Healing is a part of us also reconnecting to our childhood in some sort ... I never let that little girl inside of me die. I go outside and run outside with the dogs. I still play like a kid.... That's the stuff that keeps you young and stops you from being so hard." [13:19]

6. Healthy Habits that Support Healing & Youthfulness

• Taraji lists habits supporting her wellness:
  • Early bedtimes:
    "Going to bed at seven. That's my favorite time of the day. I be dancing to the bed, man." [14:27]
  • Cutting out alcohol and its impact:
    "I noticed since I stopped drinking, I have lucid dreams ... I wake up the next day and I remember my dreams ... I can really enjoy myself sober." [16:07-17:57]
• Dr. J stresses resting versus just "sleeping," and the cognitive and emotional toll of escapism through substances.

7. True Friendship and Community as a Foundation for Healing

• [22:56-25:37] Taraji discusses the pivotal role of her long-standing friendships, especially with childhood friend Tracy, in keeping her balanced and emotionally checked-in: "She helped me work through that as a kid... it's good to have someone to check in on me because I'm good at pretending ... She will pull up. Like, you don't sound right ... It's important to have people like that because it's easy to isolate. ... You could be saving a life."
• Dr. J and Taraji reminisce on elder wisdom—"let me lay eyes on you"—as essential to real connection and emotional wellness.

8. The Power of Vulnerability, Especially in Black Communities

• Taraji observes:
  "We have been trained and conditioned through our trauma to be strong and put on this front ... But I always say the strength is in vulnerability. When you're able to be vulnerable and speak your truth, that's what draws more people in ... Because being strong all the time will break you. We're not buildings ... You can't do that all the time. It's humanly impossible." [27:03-27:53]

9. The Legacy of Her Father & The Boris Henson Foundation

• Dr. J asks about her late father’s influence: "He was a man who was very strong, but was not afraid to be vulnerable. He would cry. He would talk about when he didn't feel right. ... He wore his heart on his sleeve."
  • On what he’d say now: "Little n****, I'm proud of you. That's exactly ... Sometimes I hear him in my dreams ..." [28:52]

10. What Healing Really Means – Choosing Peace Over Survival Mode

• Taraji’s definition of healing:
  "It ain't all pretty, you know, because you gonna have to open up some scars that hurt ... the only way to get through it is to get through it. You can't go under it, you can't go over ... Eventually it's gonna implode. ... After every storm, the sun comes out. ... But it's your responsibility. At some point you have to take responsibility for your healing. You must." [34:45-35:54]
  • She emphasizes the cost of not addressing pain:
    "If you're drinking too heavy, you smoking a little too much, like all of that is escapism… It manifests itself in all kinds of ways. So you gotta deal with it."
  • Protecting peace above all: "I protect my peace at all costs. If you're not on a healing journey, I can't talk to you. Bye. ... I finally got here and I'm just not going to let anybody disturb me from my peace." [37:14-37:48]

11. Redefining Success and Relationships

• On not compromising for others:
  "Somebody was like, you not dating? No, I'm not dealing with nobody's unhealed son ... At this big old age, I'm not having kids ... I want a partner. I don't know if I want the papers to go."
  • "The first question I ask is, is this going to cost me any parts of my piece? Because if it is, I don't have to go." [41:18-42:36]
  • Rejecting toxic work or relationships, no matter the money:
    "Energy is transferable. ... That's a very vulnerable place to be. So if I don't feel like I'm protected, ... I will turn it down." [42:58]

12. Healing Through Artistic Expression

• Taraji reflects on her acting career, particularly roles that mirrored her own or others’ need to feel seen:
  "For her to turn tricks, it was her way of giving love, because no one loved her. ... I want people to see this diamond in the rough, because that's what all people who aren't seen, they are diamonds. We're all diamonds. ... You saw her come alive." (on her character Suge in Hustle & Flow) [47:09-49:34]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the healing journey:
  "You can't go under it, you can't go over. ... Eventually it's gonna implode." — Taraji P. Henson [34:45]
• On peace:
  "I protect my peace at all cost. If you not on a healing journey, I can't talk to you. Bye." — Taraji P. Henson [37:14]
• On friendships and community:
  "You could be saving a life." — Taraji P. Henson [25:37]
• On childhood healing:
  "I never let that little girl inside of me die." — Taraji P. Henson [13:19]
• On vulnerability and Black strength:
  "The strength is in vulnerability." — Taraji P. Henson [27:03]
• On her father’s pride (explicit):
  "Little n****, I'm proud of you." — Taraji P. Henson [28:52]
• On selective relationships:
  "No, I'm not dealing with nobody's unhealed son. … I want a partner. I don't know if I want the papers to go." — Taraji P. Henson [41:18, 41:52]
• On artistic vulnerability:
  "There have been times when ... my life was in shambles, but I had to pretend like everything was okay. That is the hardest thing to do. And it is. It strips your soul." — Taraji P. Henson [44:30]

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [03:36] – Start of the episode content, discussion about healing and checking in emotionally
• [06:27] – Taraji’s healing trips to Bali
• [09:57] – Creating peace and sanctuary at home
• [12:06] – Healing through reconnecting to childhood self
• [14:27] – Healthy routines: sleep, no alcohol, and simple joys
• [16:07] – The impact of quitting alcohol
• [22:56] – Friendship, Tracy’s importance in Taraji’s life, real check-ins
• [27:03] – Vulnerability, Black strength, and breaking down stereotypes
• [34:45] – What healing really means to Taraji
• [37:14] – Protecting peace at all costs
• [41:18] – Perspectives on dating, relationships, and partnership
• [44:30] – The price of pretending and the emotional cost of certain work environments
• [47:09] – Artistic healing through acting and the film “Hustle & Flow”
• [49:46] – Taraji's impact on Black mental health advocacy

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Conclusion

This episode offers an authentic, heartfelt exploration of healing, community, and the vital need to protect one's peace. Through their stories and reflections, Taraji P. Henson and Dr. J Barnett stress that true healing involves honesty, vulnerability, supportive relationships, reconnecting with the inner child, and refusing to compromise personal peace for anyone or anything. Their conversation encourages listeners—especially in the Black community—to prioritize emotional wellness and to create spaces where healing is celebrated and supported.

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Listen to the full episode on The Black Effect Podcast Network and iHeartPodcasts.

Transcript

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[Dr. J Barnett]

Just Heal with Dr. J, a production of the Black Effect podcast network and iHeartRadio. Welcome back to another episode of Just Heal with Dr. J. And I am your host, Dr. J Barnett, and I'm excited about today's guest. I have my great friend, you know her as Ms. Cookie, but I know her as T and all of the many characters that we have been blessed to see her played. But today we're going to have a conversation about healing. And as y' all know, when you come into the Healing community, we're talking about things that are impactful for our journey, that can impact our life. And I'm so happy to have my friend Taraji P. Henson joining me with the Healing Community Day. Welcome.

[Taraji P. Henson]

Thank you.

[Dr. J Barnett]

Listen, I am excited about this episode and this episode. I think that's going to be transformative because May is Mental Health Month and we have been working together for a number of years under the Boris Henson foundation, providing free therapy to Black men and Black women. And I just think this conversation is not had enough, even though we are talking about it more. But before I start into the conversation, I always ask every guest, I don't ask them how they're doing, I ask them, how are you feeling?

[Taraji P. Henson]

I'm feeling blessed today. Really happy and excited about today because you know, of course we're having Our symposium, and we're helping the kids. And I actually used to go to Oxon Hill High School.

[Dr. J Barnett]

Really.

[Taraji P. Henson]

So I feel really good about giving back to them in this way.

[Dr. J Barnett]

To get back to.

[Taraji P. Henson]

Before we start, can I just say I'm proud of you, black man.

[Dr. J Barnett]

Thank you.

[Taraji P. Henson]

I'm just really, really proud of you. I am.

[Dr. J Barnett]

Thank you. Thank you. And listen, I wanna say this to everybody. Y' all only know me because of Taraji. Well, like, for real. And so I have to say I'm humble because it was a black woman. It was you, I think, came across one of my videos, and then your team reached out to me. This was what, 2020? This was 2020.

[Taraji P. Henson]

Yeah.

[Dr. J Barnett]

Yeah. And we did the Breakfast Club virtual at that time. And I just want to say thank you for seeing me and for providing the opportunity for the world to know my voice. And not just my story, but the voice and the impact that I would have on black men. It was you. And this is why we need black

[Taraji P. Henson]

women and we need y'. All.

[Dr. J Barnett]

So we need each other. We need each other. Like, and I. And I wish, you know, we could settle these. These. These wars that we having online because we're. We're. We're so needed in just building each other.

[Taraji P. Henson]

Yeah, for sure.

[Dr. J Barnett]

For sure. You know, so, you know, you. You feel blessed. You look amazing. I. I don't know what you're drinking, what you're doing, but you look amazing. Like, I. I know you take trips to Bali, and Bali is your place to really get away in the checkout. What has that been for your healing journey?

[Taraji P. Henson]

It's a place. It's a great place to recenter because it's not a place about vanity. You know, a lot of times when you go overseas, it's about shopping and this and that. And I. That's not where you go for that is literally eat, pray, love. The people are beautiful. They pray over everything. They pray over you. It's a lot of yoga. I mean, the food is from the earth. Everything is clean eating. I just feel so nurtured. We call it Mother Bali because the land is so nurturing. But that's just. That has become my place to go when I need to recenter and get away from it all. Cause it's very far.

[Dr. J Barnett]

Yeah. Now, when you go, how long are you gone?

[Taraji P. Henson]

The first time I stayed for a month. The second time I went for, like, two and a half weeks.

[Dr. J Barnett]

Yeah.

[Taraji P. Henson]

Yeah. It's not a quick trip because it takes about 24 hours to get there.

[Dr. J Barnett]

Wow. Wow. And when When. When you go there and you recenter yourself, how does your spirit feels to step away from America?

[Taraji P. Henson]

Let me just tell you this. The first time I went, I landed at some weird hour in the morning. They had an herbal bath waiting for me. I took it. It was like 4 o' clock in the morning. By the time I unpacked and got in the bed, I slept for 12 hours. Can I tell you the last time I slept through like 12 straight hours? I since probably were in my 20s when I was going to the clubs and stuff.

[Dr. J Barnett]

Wow.

[Taraji P. Henson]

Yeah, 12 straight hours and I never could sleep that peacefully in the States. Wow.

[Dr. J Barnett]

Do you feel because of the chaos and the noise is why many of us can't rest?

[Taraji P. Henson]

Absolutely. I literally remember after my month stay, it felt like it went so fast. And I remember I was crying, packing, coming back. I did not want to come back. As soon as I got back to America, it was a mass shooting in Chinatown in la. I was like.

[Dr. J Barnett]

And I remember texting you when you come back and you was just saying, I did not want to come back,

[Taraji P. Henson]

did not want to come back, did

[Dr. J Barnett]

not want to come.

[Taraji P. Henson]

I heard a doctor say, if you ever find yourself diagnosed with cancer and you want to survive, the first thing you got to do is leave America.

[Dr. J Barnett]

What?

[Taraji P. Henson]

Yes, he said that's the first thing you have to do. He didn't go into the medicines, he didn't go into holistic. He said, the first thing you must do is leave America.

[Dr. J Barnett]

Wow. You know, I'm writing this book and it's titled I actually Just got agreed to the Terms. This is my first major book deal and I'm excited about this because the book is about pursuing PACE and the subtitle is In a World that's Not Slowing Down. And as you were speaking about the doctor saying you gotta leave here, we're in such a hurry and there's such stress that we have day to day. And I'm saying to myself, how do we ever find pace? How did you create PACE in your busy world?

[Taraji P. Henson]

I, where I live is very peaceful. My house sits on a hill away from the noise. I don't hear any street traffic. It's my sanctuary. And I had a friend who's very clairvoyant say that he saw like Native Americans around the property in spirit, protecting it. So I would have friends fly in from out of town and they would come in all stressed and they'd come to my house and they would be like, oh my God, I just feel so peaceful. And when I was living in Chicago, I would. You know, working on that show could be kind of crazy. When I was on Empire, I would go to la, back to my house to regather myself. So that's literally my sanctuary is home. I have two dogs. I just got a new puppy. Lord, why did I do that? Yeah, I have Frenchies. Okay, Two Frenchies. And they're my joy. You know, simple things, nothing. You know, it ain't about going to a spa or any of that. I work out a lot, which for me is more. Is more about my mental than this, that the aesthetics, you know, because it releases those good endorphins, you know, so simple. Keeping everything really simple. You know, I have my playroom, which is my salon. When I was a little girl, we couldn't afford nothing. And so I always promised myself when I got older, I would. I would make a room where I could play and I would buy all the things that I couldn't afford when I was a kid. And it's my salon and I have my little doll heads that I go in there and I work. It's just where I gotta want to tell all my business. But I love that. Yeah, it's my space. I mean, I could be. The world could be burning up and I'd be in my salon having fun with my doll heads.

[Dr. J Barnett]

Like, I like that because it's almost like you get to connect back to the little girl.

[Taraji P. Henson]

Absolutely. I reached out to Tyler Perry one time. I said, while the world is burning up, I'm in here watching Madea movies. And I turned the camera around and show. He said, wow, Taraji, that's. You protected letting that. Taking care of that little TJ little girl. And I was like, absolute.

[Dr. J Barnett]

Oh, God, this is. This. This is so rich. Because I'm sitting here thinking about, you know, childhood wombs and childhood traumas and all those different things. And I don't think we realize as we're aging that we're either doing one or two things. We're either running from the little boy or little girl, or we're trying to replace or give the little boy or little girl what they didn't have at that particular time. And as you were talking about sitting there and playing with the doll heads, does that bring a level of peace to the little girl inside of you?

[Taraji P. Henson]

I forget. I don't my office be trying to reach me and the phone will be buzzing and I get annoyed because I don't want to deal with that. And then I'll be like, hello? They like, you gotta come out of that Room. You have to answer these questions. You gotta sign these documents. And they know when they can't find me, they know that's where I am. You know, it just brings me so much peace and joy. And that's where I was during the pandemic. Like, I literally stayed in my salon.

[Dr. J Barnett]

Is that how you got through the pandemic?

[Taraji P. Henson]

That's how I got through it.

[Dr. J Barnett]

So what I'm hearing you saying is healing is a part of us also reconnecting to our childhood in some sort.

[Taraji P. Henson]

You said I look how youthful I look because I never let that little girl inside of me die. I go outside and run outside with the dogs. I still play like a kid. I laugh, you know, I love jokes. I love funny. I love laughing. I laugh at myself. I don't take myself too seriously. That's the stuff that keeps you young and stops you from being so hard.

[Dr. J Barnett]

Yeah, because I was reading, I was doing something about black men and aging. And this new data said the average life expectancy for black men is 61.5. 10 years less of white males, which is 72. And we're not, you know, we always hear black don't crack, Right? But internally we're cracking. And when you're talking about aging, what has been one of the ways that you realize that it's the secret to remaining youthful as we're aging and as we are evolving. What, what things are you doing? I know you're working out. I know you, you go to Bali to retreat. What other things have you discovered?

[Taraji P. Henson]

Going to bed at seven.

[Dr. J Barnett]

I love it. Listen, when I tell you on Friday nights, I am so excited to go to bed, like 8 o' clock on Friday.

[Taraji P. Henson]

That's every night. And so my mother clowned me one time because I caught FaceTimed her, she was like, you in bed already? It was seven o'. Clock. And I was like, yeah, I'm telling you, I, I, that's my favorite time of the day. I be dancing to the bed, man.

[Dr. J Barnett]

Isn't that, isn't that something? And I remember when we was kid,

[Taraji P. Henson]

you hated it, hate it, hate. Some nights I'm in bed by 6:30 because I'm like, I'm done with my day. Like, I'm done answering questions. I'm done answering questions. I'm done, you know, with, you know, emails. I'm just, I'm ready to go to bed. And my dogs are, they're so used to seven, they eat at seven and they go right to their crates. Cause they know mama finna shut it down.

[Dr. J Barnett]

Listen, my mom, she goes to bed at like 6:30 or 7 and she said, baby, the day is over.

[Taraji P. Henson]

It's over. It's a wrap. What else you want from me? What else?

[Dr. J Barnett]

And I'm laughing because, you know, my mom hurt her husband. And you know, she was like, he'll be in there and going back to the childhood thing. So he likes doing puzzles and he likes science projects. So he's like, he goes and buys these science projects. And she's like, babe, I'm in the bed. I said, what Mr. Charlie doing? Oh, baby Charlie in there playing with his little. She said, I'm going to bed. Because I don't think we realize that we are sleeping, but we don't rest. We're not resting.

[Taraji P. Henson]

Yeah. And you know what? I cut out the alcohol too. Um, you know, I. Not that I was a heavy drinker, but I just can't recover. I can't. The recovery. Even if I have wine the next day, I'm like, I just. And it's just like, what's the point? You know? So I enjoy my mocktails. But I noticed since I stopped drinking, I have lucid dreams. I can't. I can't remember the last time I used to dream like this. And I wake up the next day and I remember my dreams like, I'll get up in the middle of the night, go to the bathroom, go back to sleep and continue the dream, the same dream.

[Dr. J Barnett]

And I. And I've often heard doctors talk about how alcohol. You know, we don't think about it even just with wine, but just how it can be one of the most deadliest. And not just from a physical perspective, but cognitively. The brain doesn't function the same.

[Taraji P. Henson]

It just does not. It doesn't.

[Dr. J Barnett]

So for you, what is a good time now when you go out, you don't. You having mocktails. Is that enough for you?

[Taraji P. Henson]

That's enough for me. But see, now we live in a society where if you're not drinking, something's wrong. Girl, why you not drinking? So to remedy that, I go straight to the bar and I get a seltzer water, put a lime in it, Bam. So nobody's asking me questions, but I found out that I can really enjoy myself sober. Like, I've. Because you know why? I remember what I did the night before when I was drinking. The people like, girl, remember when you said I was like. I said that I did that. Like, I don't. I want to know. I want to know what I did. Like, you know, then as you're aging. I'm like, does that mean I'm getting Alzheimer's? You know, that's my fear. You know, so, you know, once I proved to myself that I could really still go out and really enjoy. In fact, I think I had more fun because I remember it.

[Dr. J Barnett]

Yeah. And you're present.

[Taraji P. Henson]

Very present. I have not clocked out. And. But the people, the people that are inebriated be talking to me and I'm like, you think they really think they making sense.

[Dr. J Barnett]

And you feel like especially in.

[Taraji P. Henson]

But I don't judge, you know.

[Dr. J Barnett]

Right, Exactly.

[Taraji P. Henson]

I don't judge. I just, you know, I'm like, d, that used to be me.

[Dr. J Barnett]

Now let me ask you this. When you were drinking, do you feel like it was part of just kind of escaping social.

[Taraji P. Henson]

Yeah, absolutely. And it was the thing to do. Like, it's like you going out and drinking is hand in hand. Like even going to dinner and have a girl. First thing you do is the first thing they offer you. Would you like cocktails? Here's the drink menu. You know, and I found it interesting. I'm gonna tell you when I started thinking about the sobriety was when I went to the Paris Olympics. There was no alcohol at any of the games. At any of the gymnasiums. No. No alcohol.

[Dr. J Barnett]

Wow.

[Taraji P. Henson]

And I found that people were present. There were no drunken fights because you fighting. You know, you rooting for your country and this one rooting for you. Getting into these arguments, I mean, it was the most peaceful and pleasant experience I had at a sporting event.

[Dr. J Barnett]

Wow. And I didn't even. Yeah. I wouldn't even think that how present you could be without the alcohol.

[Taraji P. Henson]

Very present.

[Dr. J Barnett]

Wow.

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[Public Investing Announcer]

Support for the show comes from Public, the investing platform for those who take it seriously. On Public, you can build a multi asset portfolio of stocks, bonds, options, crypto and now generated assets which allow you to turn any idea into an investable index with AI. It all starts with your prompt. From renewable energy companies with high free cash flow to semiconductor suppliers growing revenue over 20% year over year, you can literally type any prompt and put the AI to work. It screens thousands of stocks, builds a one of a kind index and lets you back test it against the S&P 500. Then you can invest in a few clicks. Generated assets are like ETFs with infinite possibilities, completely customizable and based on your thesis, not someone else's. Go to public.com podcast and earn an uncapped 1% bonus when you transfer your portfolio. That's public.com podcast paid for by Public Investing Brokerage Service by Open to the Public Investing Inc. Member FINRA and SIPC Advisory Services by Public Advisors, llc, SEC Registered Advisor Generated Assets is an interactive analysis tool. Output is for informational purposes only and is not an investment recommendation or advice. Complete disclosures available at public.com disclosures when

[Commercial Announcer]

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[Cindy Crawford]

Hi, I'm Cindy Crawford and I'm the founder of meaningful beauty. When Dr. Sabah and I decided to do a skincare line together, he said to me, we are going to give women meaningful beauty. And I said, that's exactly right. We want to give women meaningful beauty. Which means each and every product is meaningful. It has a reason to exist. It's efficacious. You're going to get results and then you just go out and live your life. Meaningful Beauty Confidence is beautiful. Learn more@meaning beauty.com

[Bethenny Frankel]

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[Dr. J Barnett]

You know, speak about being present. I've known you and Tracy for a number of years. You guys love each other out loud. Most people don't have what you guys have. The years of friendship that you guys have. Like, I'm usually talking to people that changing friends every two to three years and then best friends. How important has the friendship for. For you on your healing journey? Because I often tell clients or just even in my circle that you can't heal without a community. How important is the friendship and having people who can be present?

[Taraji P. Henson]

Yeah, well, she's been very important for me throughout our friendship, throughout life, because I was the hothead. You know, I'm like, crush that bitch in the throat. And she like, bring it to zero, Come back, find your zero. You know what I mean? She's a Libra. So she actually balanced me and I'm a Virgo and I get heady and I'm very analytical. And so she helped me work through that as a kid. And we can be very judgmental. She worked with me on that. So I'm a very conscious Virgo, you know what I mean? I know how to check myself when that part of my astrological sign shows up, you know what I mean? Because of her, you know, she, you know, and going through what I go through in the industry, it's good to have someone to check in on me because I'm good at pretending. I have to, you know, I have to show up to work and put on that smile even though I'm dying inside. You know what I mean? And so, because I have someone who understands that just by the sound of my hello, she will pull up. You know Pam, you met Pam?

[Dr. J Barnett]

Yeah.

[Taraji P. Henson]

She will pull up. Like, you don't sound right. I don't care what's going on out there. I need to come look at them eyes, you know, and it's important to have people like that because it's easy to isolate. It's so easy. And I Can I isolate? Well, I told you where I live on the hilltop, away from everything, but you know what I'm saying. So you have to have people to check on you. Because sometimes I don't even know that I'm not right until she break. Cause I'm so used to being on, you know? She was like, you good? And I'm like, yeah, I'm good. She like, no, you're not. And then that forces me to check. You know what? I am a little. I do feel a little off, you know, so it's very important. I said that to the kids out at Copeland University yesterday. I was like, y' all check on each other. Don't let. Don't let your friends or your, you know, people in your circle suffer. If they don't sound right, don't look right. Check on them. Pull up.

[Dr. J Barnett]

Yeah.

[Taraji P. Henson]

You could be saving a life.

[Dr. J Barnett]

You know, that's what I miss most about the Elders.

[Taraji P. Henson]

Yeah.

[Dr. J Barnett]

Is my grandmother used to say, baby, come by, let me lay eyes on you. And here's how they knew that something was going on. Because you would stay away.

[Taraji P. Henson]

Yeah.

[Dr. J Barnett]

Because the moment they saw you, you know that they will see you. And we need people that will call us and say, let me lay eyes on me. And to feel your energy and to feel where your spirit is. And I. You know, there's the Surgeon General. Vivek talks a lot about this epidemic of loneliness that we have. And there's so many lonely people. There's such loneliness. And we would think that we are more connected because we have phones. But as I like to say, I think we are overly connected but underly communal because we don't have real connections. You know, we don't have real people that really have this level of sagaciousness, discernment to say, you know what? Something is off with you.

[Taraji P. Henson]

Yep.

[Dr. J Barnett]

And when we don't have that, this is why we have a lot of people who just feel nobody cares. And I think they're not giving the space for people. How important. And. And I. And I want this to really be loud for. For sisters to hear that it's okay to allow yourself to be truly seen and men to be seen to say, hey, I need somebody to sit with me.

[Taraji P. Henson]

I think we have, especially black people. We have been trained and conditioned through our trauma to be strong and put on this front, like, I'm good. I'm good. But I always say the strength is in vulnerability, you know, when you're able to be vulnerable and speak your truth. That's what draws more People in. Because people are afraid to do that. You know, a lot of people are afraid to do that, but you have to, because being strong all the time will break you. We're not buildings. We're not. We are not here. We're not built like a structure like this. We're not supposed to be strong all the time. Yeah, there's sometimes when you have to pull it together, but you can't do that all the time. It's humanly impossible.

[Dr. J Barnett]

It is. It is. I. I want to ask you this. You started the Boris Henson foundation because of your dad and who was a

[Taraji P. Henson]

man who was very strong, but was. Was not afraid to be vulnerable. He would cry. He would talk about when he didn't feel right. I mean, he wore his heart on his sleeve. He was incredible. I miss him so much. I'm sorry.

[Dr. J Barnett]

I didn't mean to cut you off. Oh, no, no. You good? No, I. Yeah. And I'm glad that you shared that. Knowing what you've done and you have pioneered a space in the mental health realm, and you have created opportunities for these conversations. I often say it was you and Charlamagne who really championed the space for blacks because no one had never seen any one of you guys caliber be open about your challenges. What would your dad say today if he could see the work that you did?

[Taraji P. Henson]

Can I be honest? Cause is anybody gonna be offended with the N word? He called everybody negative. He be like, little nigga, I'm proud of you. That's exactly. I can hear him in my dreams sometimes. He comes to me so vividly in my. That's another thing. I hadn't dreamt about my father in so long. And I stopped drinking. And I've been having very lucid dreams where I see him, I hear him. The last dream I had about him, he had come to visit. This is the only house he had never seen. Passed away before I got this house, and he was. He had come to visit and he was building hedges around all my windows. He was like, nah. Cause they building the mall down the way. You know them little gonna be trying to come up here and rob you. So I had to pretend, but that was him letting me know in spirit, he's still protecting me. Yeah, but that's what he would say.

[Dr. J Barnett]

Wow. I love it. I love it. Hey, look. Dang little. He doing it. That sound like my grandmama. Well, man, that is so beautiful. You've been working in the garage with your dad every week, Monday to Sunday, trying to get the old school up and running. Today after all the hard work, y' all finally finished it. So you have that feeling of accomplishment. You did it. Then your dad throws you the keys and says those three magic words, all yours son. Yep, that same car belonged to your grandpa and that your dad helped him fix. It's yours. Three generations right there. Keeping the tradition alive. But if you ask dad to really keep the tradition going, you need to get insurance. And you already know you need to get State Farm. Because your agent, well, he gets tradition too. His dad was an agent, his grandpa too, so he gets you generation to generation. Remember to choose the agents that your family counted on. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is

[Public Investing Announcer]

there Support for the show comes from Public, the investing platform for those who take it seriously. On Public, you can build a multi asset portfolio of stocks, bonds, options, crypto and now generated assets which allow you to turn any idea into an investable index with AI. It all starts with your prompt. From renewable energy companies with high free cash flow to semiconductor suppliers growing revenue over 20% year over year, you can literally type any prompt and put the AI to work. It screens thousands of stocks, builds a one of a kind index and lets you back test it against the S&P 500. Then you can invest in a few clicks. Generated assets are like ETFs with infinite possibilities, completely customizable and based on your thesis, not someone else's. Go to public.com podcast and earn an uncapped 1% bonus when you transfer your portfolio. That's public.com podcast paid for by Public Investing Brokerage Services by Open to the Public Investing Inc. Member FINRA and SIPC Advisory Services by Public Advisors, llc. SEC Registered Advisor Generated Assets is an interactive analysis tool. Output is for informational purposes only and is not an investment recommendation or advice. Complete disclosure is available at public.com disclosures

[Commercial Announcer]

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[Cindy Crawford]

Hi, I'm Cindy Crawford and I'm the founder of Meaningful Beauty. Well, I don't know about you, but, like, I never liked being told, oh, wow, you look so good for your age. Like, why even bother saying that? Why don't you just say you look great at any age, Every age. That's what Meaningful Beauty is all about. We create products that make you feel confident in your skin at the age you are now. Meaningful Beauty. Beautiful skin at every age. Learn [e-mail].

[Bethenny Frankel]

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[Dr. J Barnett]

This question, I'll ask all the guests. And I asked this question. The podcast is just healing with Dr. J. You been open about your healing journey? I've been open about my healing journey and I asked myself this question and it was one that I had to take a deep breath and deep sigh. When you think about healing, what does healing means to you? To Talajah? See,

[Taraji P. Henson]

well, I tell you this, it ain't all pretty, you know, because you gonna have to open up some scars that hurt and you gonna have to go to some ugly places. But the only way to get through it is to get through it. You can't go under it, you can't go over. You can't avoid it because eventually it's gonna implode. Eventually it's gonna overtake you. So you have to go through the muck to get through to the other side. You know, they always say, I know it's cliche. And after every storm, the sun comes out. Gotta go through the storm first, you know, but that's how, that's how you have to undo. And undoing sometimes can be very uncomfortable. You have to have very uncomfortable conversations with yourself, with people, you know, who helped with the trauma. But, you know, it can be tough, but you can do it. You know, if I could do it and Jay can do it, you can do it. Cause it's in you to do it and it's your responsibility.

[Dr. J Barnett]

Yes.

[Taraji P. Henson]

You know, you can't keep blaming everybody, especially at a big grown age. At some point you have to take responsibility for your healing. You must.

[Dr. J Barnett]

Yes. You know, do you feel a lot of people are afraid to take it?

[Taraji P. Henson]

Oh, absolutely. Cause they're scared to go through the storm. You know, they think somehow sweeping things under the carpet is gonna make it good.

[Dr. J Barnett]

But, you know, and as I said, just because you hide it doesn't mean it's not there.

[Taraji P. Henson]

It's always there. It comes out in ways, you know, it comes. It manifests itself in how you deal with people. That part, if you're drinking too heavy, you smoking a little too much, like all of that is escapism. If you're going out, eating too much sex, I mean, it's, it, it manifests itself in all kinds of ways. So you gotta deal with it.

[Dr. J Barnett]

Yes, you gotta deal with it. Because if you don't deal with it,

[Taraji P. Henson]

it's gonna deal with you.

[Dr. J Barnett]

It's gonna deal with you, to deal with you.

[Taraji P. Henson]

And it's going to affect your health. You have a nervous system.

[Dr. J Barnett]

Come on, talk about it.

[Taraji P. Henson]

I mean, I'm not a scientist, I'm not a doctor.

[Dr. J Barnett]

Come on, talk about it.

[Taraji P. Henson]

But I am a doctor. But you know, because I. What is it with honorary.

[Dr. J Barnett]

Yes, yes, you are right,

[Taraji P. Henson]

but I'm not that kind. But I do know you have a nervous system and your, your body listens to your brain, you know, and so if you're not feeding yourself good information, it's going to show up in your body. You said when I was. You look good. What fountain you drinking from? I said the fountain of peace.

[Dr. J Barnett]

The fountain of peace. You hear that?

[Taraji P. Henson]

I protect my peace at all cost. If you not on a healing journey. I can't talk to you. Bye. Bye. I can't. I can't do it.

[Dr. J Barnett]

Can't do it. Cuz it. It cost too much.

[Taraji P. Henson]

It cost me my peace and I'm not willing to give that up. I finally got here. You understand what I'm saying? Yes. You better exhale. I Finally got here. You know, how hard and how long, how much breath up stuff I had to go do to get here. Like, I finally got here and I'm just not going to let anybody disturb me from my peace.

[Dr. J Barnett]

Man. T, when I tell you I love that for you and to see your journey and I, that, that. That's really what I was telling cj. I said, man, I really want us all to get to a place where we're just not stuck on survival.

[Taraji P. Henson]

Yeah.

[Dr. J Barnett]

And we're not stuck on, you know, just trying to figure it out each time and just like allowing ourselves to have this level of peace where we know what it's like to just breathe.

[Taraji P. Henson]

Yeah. Yeah. And it's gonna take us, to heal us. You know what I mean? Nobody's gonna come and save us, you know? And I think what we're doing, the work that we're doing is so important because we're allowing people to the freedom to feel the feels and to talk about it in the open. Because once upon a time, this wasn't talked about like that.

[Dr. J Barnett]

No, it wasn't.

[Taraji P. Henson]

You know, everybody was pretending to be strong and act like they have it together. Especially celebrities or people in the limelight. Because people on the outside look in and think, oh, they have everything. And I'm gonna tell you something like the great guru Biggie Small said, more money, more problems. Cause small money does not. The rich people, the filthy rich, they the most unhealed, unhealthy folk walking the universe. Because money can't fix it.

[Dr. J Barnett]

It can't. Bishop Jakes told me this is recently. He said, I was telling him about the podcast and he was excited and everything I'm doing, and he looked at me and he said, you don't realize how much we needed. He said, I don't know. And he said, you know what type of people I'm connected to, Jay? He said, I don't know anybody that's at peace right now.

[Taraji P. Henson]

Listen.

[Dr. J Barnett]

And I mean, he was in his fashion. I don't know anybody that's at peace. You gotta do this. And I'm like Bishop. Cause he said, think about celebrities and the entertainers and all these high level, especially for black people who are under this umbrella of black excellence that I think oftentimes is really blanketing black anxiety.

[Taraji P. Henson]

M Ooh, ooh. A chill one up my son, when you say that.

[Dr. J Barnett]

Because there's this pressure to keep performing.

[Taraji P. Henson]

Yeah.

[Dr. J Barnett]

And he said, I don't know anybody that's at peace right now. So to hear you come in and say I'm drinking from the fountain of peace, baby.

[Taraji P. Henson]

Listen, I'm not even dating right now. Somebody was like, you not dating? No, I'm not dealing with nobody's unhealed son. Can I get an amen? Hallelujah. Hallelujah. Because I'm telling you, I told. I've had my house renovated, right? And I found this incredible black couple out of the south to come in and to design the interior. And they are incredible. But I told them in the beginning, I said, I want it to look like a straight girl house when you come in here. If I start dating, I don't want no dude to feel like, oh, yeah, I can know. You can't move up in here. In fact, guess what? I don't even have a drawer for your stuff. I don't have a drawer because my stuff is in all the drawers. So pack your bag when you come and pack it up when you go. And, you know, I'm even thinking about, like, the marriage thing. Like, I don't even know if I need the stresses of that in my life. A lifetime partner for sure. But at this big old age, I'm not having kids. You know what I'm saying?

[Dr. J Barnett]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Taraji P. Henson]

I want a partner. I don't know if I want the papers to go. I don't know if I want that. No, I'm not saying I don't want a man. I need to be very clear with you.

[Dr. J Barnett]

But that's real, though, T. That's real because at this season and at this juncture, the work you've done, and I often tell people the work that you've done, you would have to undo this to deal with somebody who hasn't done work, who's afraid to do work, and then who's not really committed to the work.

[Taraji P. Henson]

And I'm not willing to do that.

[Dr. J Barnett]

They'll start going to therapy just because you talked about it. But you're not really committed because if, you know, you really going to therapy because I brought it up, but you're not really interested in growing and evolving. And if you're not with somebody that is committed to their own journey.

[Taraji P. Henson]

Yeah, then I can't help you. Because I'm not willing to give up my peace. I fought too hard to get here. I'm just not. I even do this. Like, you know, there's certain things that I will go to in the industry and certain things that I won't. The first question I ask is, is this going to cost me any parts of my piece? Because if it is, I don't have to go. I don't have to go. I don't care.

[Dr. J Barnett]

It's funny you say that, because I started telling my manager that I said to leave my house. Now you got to pay me to leave my piece. Because my home I've created such serene. Just my place overlooked the water. It's just, if I leave, man. And it's not even about the bag anymore.

[Taraji P. Henson]

I was about to say that because it could be a bag and I'd be like, that sounds like chaos. Give it to somebody else. I've turned down jobs as these directors. I just. Energy is transferable. And so what I do as an artist, like, I have to open up chakras. I let these characters come inside my body and use my body as a vessel to tell their story. That's a very vulnerable place to be. So if I don't feel like I'm protected, if I. If I don't feel like I'm going to be protected in an environment that is nurturing to the process, I will turn it down.

[Dr. J Barnett]

I know that's right.

[Taraji P. Henson]

Because I can't. I can't sacrifice myself like that,

[Dr. J Barnett]

especially for these up and coming artists who feel like they have to listen. If I haven't learned anything else on my journey from you, from Tracy, from all of the people that mentor me, they always say, man, be very particular about what you say yes to. Mm.

[Taraji P. Henson]

And everything ain't about a dollar. Like, be careful what you ask for. You be very specific. Be very clear on what you're asking for. Like, these kids, they see the limelight. They. They see. They don't realize we're still real people going through real stuff. Like, it's not just. You become an actor and all of a sudden, life is pristine. And it's. No, you. You go. You put on the show, and then you still go back home to the mess you left. That's. You know, I think it's harder for what we do because we have to show up.

[Dr. J Barnett]

Yes.

[Taraji P. Henson]

And pretend like everything's. There have been times when I have. I was going through hell in scenes that you've seen me in movies. My life was in shambles, but I had to pretend like everything was okay. That is the hardest thing to do. And it is. It is. It strips your soul. I can't. I can't explain it. You. You just. There were times where I just felt so empty and lost, you know, because. Because there was no safe landing for me. It was always, show up. You gotta be on. You gotta show the people. Everything's okay. And it's like. But I'm not. I'm not okay.

[Dr. J Barnett]

You know, as you're talking, one of the characters that stand out to me, when you were talking about just being at a place where it's like your life is in shamble. The other day, I was watching Hustle and Flow.

[Bethenny Frankel]

Oh.

[Dr. J Barnett]

And that character, I mean, was just. I mean, you. You can. You can see this push and this pull, but you can see this love. You can see this care. But you can also see the vulnerability because she was at. You know what I mean? You know, his. You know, at the mercy of him, of D.J. was that like. Like. And it's just a little bit about that. How was that? Because I'm sure there's this war between the character and the reality. You know what I mean?

[Taraji P. Henson]

Well, for me, when I first got the script, I remember, John Sickerton may rest in peace. I miss you so much. He was like, I need your eyes. He always told me about my eyes. He was like, you don't have to do much. You just have to think it. And the camera's gonna do the work. Cause I came from theaters. I was very big, but. And I'm glad he said it like that. And he was like, you pick the character you want to play. And of course, Lexus, the loud mouth with the blonde hair. That character, of course, she jumped off the page because she was loud about it. But when he said, I need your eyes, it's very specific. And that's when I leaned into Suge, because she was the quiet mouse. And then I started thinking about the women who choose, because I don't think people. Some. Some women are forced into sex, working, and some choose to do that, you know? But I started thinking about her, and I was thinking about this one in particular, and I was thinking about. Ooh. Who didn't love her because she just seemed like someone who did not feel seen.

[Dr. J Barnett]

Yes. Yes.

[Taraji P. Henson]

Right.

[Dr. J Barnett]

Yeah.

[Taraji P. Henson]

And that's how I played it. I played the why. And so for her to turn tricks, it was her way of giving love, because no one loved her. And so that's what you saw in her. And I was like, I want people to want to reach through this screen and hug her.

[Dr. J Barnett]

Yes.

[Taraji P. Henson]

I said, I want people to see this diamond in the rough, because that's what all people who aren't seeing, they are diamonds. We're all diamonds. You know, it takes people pressure to make a diamond. Right. But if you're not seen and no one takes care, find the diamond and dust it off. And, you know, then it'll just be a dirty rock, right? And so that's how I played her. I played the why. And that's why you. That's how you gain the empathy of an artist. Even with the worst character in the world, a villain. If you play the why, then the audience will feel for even the villain, you know, but there's always a why. A person is the way they are, you know, But I just knew that she had been through a lot of mistreatment and abuse, probably, and just thrown away and tossed aside and treated like property, you know, that's why that moment in the studio when she hears her voice for the first time is like, look.

[Dr. J Barnett]

Oh, man, when I tell you, that part broke me, because I'm thinking from a healing perspective, is that most people just want to know that their voice matters, Right?

[Taraji P. Henson]

Cause the director was very smart. Craig Brewer, I love you, but the director was very smart. Because I remember I did this, and he ran in and whispered in my. He said, put your hand on your mouth. And I did that. And it was almost like that came out of my mouth, like. So he was tracking what I was thinking, you know, that was a very special project for me, and I got paid nothing for it. But those independent films, you do it for other reasons. You know, it was the story for me.

[Dr. J Barnett]

But all of that, and as you're talking, all of that just really stood out for me because it was the first time that I ever watched a film from a clinical or from a psychoanalytical perspective. And I was looking at the characters, because sometimes I'll do that, because it really helps me to really connect with people, even in speaking, because most people, if you have not been seen, if you have not been heard, you don't feel valuable. And in that moment, Suge felt like, hey, I'm somebody.

[Taraji P. Henson]

I could be somebody. I could do something. I could do more than what I'm doing. Like, you saw her come alive.

[Dr. J Barnett]

That's what you have done for so many people in the mental health space.

[Taraji P. Henson]

Thank you. I hope so.

[Dr. J Barnett]

No, there's no hope. You have done that. You have helped so many people healed. And especially during the time of the pandemic, where people needed somebody to talk to. I believe people wasn't just looking for therapy. People just was looking for space where they can share unapologetically and just to really have an environment where it's like, man, I don't have to be whatever roles or titles that I. And I just want to say thank you for taking out the time to come on this podcast just.

[Taraji P. Henson]

You knew I was coming.

[Dr. J Barnett]

Listen, listen. I know. I love you. I love, I mean, love you and Tracy, y' all have just been so amazing. And it was y'. All. Because when Will reached out about the podcast and I'm telling you, I was just like, man, I don't know if I want to do it. I didn't know if it would be a space because I was like, oh,

[Taraji P. Henson]

I was going to make you do it. Cuz he came to my trailer where we were on fight night. He was like, do you know any men who are in the mental health? But I said, I sure do right now. And I sent them your page. I said, this is the guy you want. I said, he already has an audience. The men already trust him. You know, it's nothing. It's not new.

[Dr. J Barnett]

New.

[Taraji P. Henson]

I said, that's who you want. Tap him right away. I didn't even pause when he asked.

[Dr. J Barnett]

Yeah, and I appreciate it. And I just want to say thank you and keep being a light that you are to the world, because in this climate, we need it. And I like to acknowledge not what you do, but just who you are, because acting is just. That's a gift. But who you are as a person because you have to have a real heart to care about more than just yourself and what you've done with the foundation and even what you continue to do, you care about more than just yourself. And I know your father's proud to. To. To do this in the honor of him and then just for us as a people who need so much healing. But you have blazed a trail for us to do it and to continue doing it, because again, it was a black woman and it would be you go down in history. Taraji started his movement. So I just want to say thank you for starting the movement and allowing me to be a part of it. So. Yeah, absolutely. So again, to all of my healers, listen. Please subscribe. You can watch Just Heal Dr. J on my YouTube channel, Just Heal Dr. J. Or you can listen audibly on the Black Effect and I heart just heal with Dr. J. And until next time, remember, healing is a journey and wholeness is the destination. Just here with Dr. James, a production of the Black Effect Podcast Network. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. And you can follow me @King JBarnett on Instagram and X and follow us on YouTube. Just heal Dr. J.

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[Taraji P. Henson]

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[Taraji P. Henson]

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[Taraji P. Henson]

This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.