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DJ Envy
Good morning, usa.
Charlamagne Tha God
Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo.
DJ Envy
Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo.
Just Hilarious
Just hilarious.
Lola LaRosa
Good morning.
Just Hilarious
It's Wednesday. Happy New Year's. Now today's show is all about self help shout, man. We got some special guests joining us today.
DJ Envy
You always say guests are special. Who are these people?
Just Hilarious
Wallow. He's joining us today.
DJ Envy
Very special. That's my guy, Jay Shetty J. Oh, man. Very, very special. Now you see you really talking about some special people.
Just Hilarious
And Dr. Cheyenne Bryant.
DJ Envy
Very special individuals. All three of those help people in various ways. What I really love about all three of those individuals is their commitment to making sure that our people are emotionally and mentally healthy.
Just Hilarious
That's right. And we gonna be talking to those three individuals next all throughout the show. So don't go anywhere. It's the Breakfast Club. Good morning.
DJ Envy
This is your time to get it off your chest.
Charlamagne Tha God
Keep calling 800-585-1051. We want to hear from you on the Breakfast Club.
Just Hilarious
Hello? Who's this?
Tamika
Hi, this is Tamika from Westchester.
Just Hilarious
Hey, Tamika. Get it off your chest, mama.
Tamika
Okay. Good morning, Charmaine. I'm a fan.
Just Hilarious
Good morning.
Tamika
I just wanted to get off my chest the fact that I did nothing and now I'm broken up with the boyfriend that I've been with for three years because his girlfriend, his side girlfriend, thinks that I'm her stalker.
Just Hilarious
Wait a minute.
DJ Envy
His side girlfriend? Stalker? All right, explain this to me a little bit more now. So, okay. Okay.
Tamika
So I've been with this boy for like, almost three years, okay? And when I came out of my relationship, he came out of his relationship for a long time and he still wanted to explore and all that. And we didn't know what we was. So he told me, like, oh, I'm talking to this one. I'm talking to that one, talking to that one. So it's like, okay, whatever. But Time had passed, and he had started moving his stuff into my apartment. We started establishing things. I work for the city. I put him on my insurance. We started establishing and making plans. I didn't realize how strong of a connection he was making with other girls. But then he comes to me one day and tells me that the other girl.
DJ Envy
Okay, okay, I've heard enough. So you're not his only girl?
Tamika
No, I'm not his only girl, no.
DJ Envy
Okay. So what are you calling here to ask us?
Just Hilarious
Well, she's upset because she put him on insurance.
Sandra, the Haitian therapist
She thought it was serious.
Tamika
I wasn't just getting off my chest. I wasn't acting anything.
DJ Envy
Oh, you just mad at yourself for being stupid.
Just Hilarious
Hey.
Tamika
Yes?
DJ Envy
How old are you?
Tamika
34.
DJ Envy
34 years old. How many girls has this man got?
Tamika
Who knows?
Just Hilarious
I can understand it, though.
DJ Envy
How many yeast infections have you had since y'all been dating? I know your PH balance is always.
Just Hilarious
Oh, stop it. Come on.
Tamika
No, it's not. It's not.
DJ Envy
Oh, okay.
Just Hilarious
I understand, though. Cause you put him on insurance, he moved in. You thought it was more serious than it was, and he was still playing the field.
DJ Envy
Well, see, I want to tell you that, you know, you can do better.
Tamika
That's not the part that I'm mad at. The part that I'm mad at is that I have nothing to do with his other relationships. And I'm being accused of being a random girl stalker. Why would you notice her?
Just Hilarious
Why would you even care? You shouldn't even speak to her.
Charlamagne Tha God
Why would I even care?
Tamika
This is what I'm saying. You ever been accused of something you absolutely did not do? Yes, and just super frustrated, but then also super relief because it's like you never trust me in the beginning, but it's just super frustrating.
DJ Envy
Stop cursing.
Dr. Cheyenne Bryant
You really didn't do it.
DJ Envy
I understand you're upset, but stop cursing. But understand that the truth don't need no defense. It only needs witnesses. So as long as you know the truth, that's the most important thing. But the truth is you just wanted this man's hoes. Now you need to ask yourself, do you just want to be one of this man's hoes, or do you want to be more to somebody? Because if you want to be more to somebody, then you need to go find that somebody, because it's not going to be with him.
Just Hilarious
Yeah, I'm sorry you went through that, Mama, but take him on.
DJ Envy
Patience. Still going to it.
Just Hilarious
Now take him off the insurance asap.
DJ Envy
She ain't going to do nothing.
Just Hilarious
Is he still on the insurance?
Tamika
Yeah.
DJ Envy
Who that talking to you in the background?
Tamika
Nobody that shot on the radio.
DJ Envy
Oh, yeah, man. You just another one of his hoes, man. And I. And you know, I think that you deserve better than that. But, you know, he did keep it 100 with you from the beginning. Not like he lied to you. Yeah, he didn't lie.
Just Hilarious
And y'all didn't have a conversation. You just assumed because he moved in. But that was not a great assumption, obviously.
Tamika
Thanks.
DJ Envy
And I know it's hard. I know it's hard. Three, four years of raw sex.
Just Hilarious
Three.
DJ Envy
You know what I'm saying? Him blowing in your bunky. I know it got you a little open, man, but, you know, you deserve better.
Tamika
Thanks.
Just Hilarious
I'm sorry, Mama.
Tamika
Have a great day.
DJ Envy
Have a good day.
Just Hilarious
Damn, man. She should take them off insurance right now.
DJ Envy
She not.
Just Hilarious
Get it off your chest. 800-585-1051. The Breakfast Club. Good morning.
DJ Envy
The Breakfast Club.
Just Hilarious
Ray.
Charlamagne Tha God
Ray.
DJ Envy
Ray.
Charlamagne Tha God
Yo, Charlemagne. Envy.
Sandra, the Haitian therapist
What up?
James
Are we live?
Charlamagne Tha God
This is your time to get it off your chest. I got an indoor pool, outdoor pool.
DJ Envy
We want to hear from you on the Breakfast Club.
Charlamagne Tha God
We can get on the phone right now. He'll tell you what it is. We lie.
Sandra, the Haitian therapist
Hello? Who's this?
Tamika
Hey, guys, it's Sandra, the Haitian therapist.
DJ Envy
Hey, Sakpa say I ain't heard from you in forever. Sandra, where you been at?
Tamika
I know working, you know, is busy season for depression and anxiety.
DJ Envy
Yes, it is. Seasonal. Seasonal depression is a real thing around this time of year.
Tamika
So I listened to the Dr. Cheyenne Bryant interview, and I just want to make clear that she is not a licensed therapist. Some of the things she was saying was pretty concerning, especially with saying people can't change. That's the foundation of our whole, you know, thing is that you can change and that it would be completely unethical to see a wife and a husband separately and then together for couples counseling. That is not something that counselors can do.
DJ Envy
I think people took out. They took it out of context when she said, you can't change, though. She was just saying that you gotta be willing to shift shifts. Something in you first before you make a permanent change.
Just Hilarious
No, I didn't take that.
Lola LaRosa
Because even. Even you questioned it. Like, you know what I mean? Like, she. She said that after you questioned it, they don't change.
Just Hilarious
She said people pivot.
Tamika
Not true.
DJ Envy
No, she said that is like the.
Tamika
Basis of therapy, that you can change. And so Dr. Elliot, Connie, he is like my number one. If it wasn't for Him, I wouldn't have gone into private practice because. Solution focused, brief, therap, my favorite. It's the best modality. Yes, he is.
DJ Envy
It is absolutely the best. Everybody should pick up Elliot Kani's book. Change your questions, change your future. It's out right now.
Just Hilarious
And thank you for calling because you.
Tamika
Can change, no problem.
DJ Envy
And check out the family therapist podcast on The Black Effect iHeartRadio podcast network, hosted by Elliot Connie.
Just Hilarious
Hello? Who's this?
DJ Envy
Hey, good morning. This is James calling from North Carolina.
Just Hilarious
James from the Carolinas.
DJ Envy
What up?
Just Hilarious
Get it off your chest. What part?
DJ Envy
Oh, I'm from. I'm in Lumberton.
Just Hilarious
Lumberton. All right. Get it off your chest, brother.
DJ Envy
Yeah, I wanted to ask y'all, when.
Charlamagne Tha God
Y'All interviewed Jaleel White, did he happen.
DJ Envy
To mention what it was like to.
Charlamagne Tha God
Work with Michael Boogaloo? Shrimp Chambers?
DJ Envy
Who the hell is that? Michael who?
Charlamagne Tha God
Y'all. Y'all don't remember him, man?
DJ Envy
That's Turbo from Break in and Break.
Lola LaRosa
Into Breaking was my movie. Oh, nah, I ain't know where he worked.
DJ Envy
Yeah, he was in a movie. No, he was in one of the episodes on Family Matters. He played his Urkelbot. I don't remember that.
Lola LaRosa
All right.
Just Hilarious
We didn't ask him about that one, brother.
DJ Envy
Salute to Turbo, though. You threw me off when you said Michael Boogaloo.
Just Hilarious
Yeah, yeah, we didn't ask about that one, brother.
DJ Envy
Yeah, man, I just. I was just wondering. All right, that's crazy. I never knew Turbo's real name till you said it. And I thought Boogaloo was the light skinned one with the hat.
Lola LaRosa
That water hat and the nose ring. Yeah, I ain't know. That was terrible.
Just Hilarious
Get it off your chest. 800-585-1051. If you need to vent, hit us up now. It's the Breakfast Club. Good morning, the Breakfast Club. Morning, everybody. It's DJ Envy. Just hilarious. Charlamagne, the guy. We are the Breakfast Club. Lola Rosa's here as well. We got a special guest in the building. We have Dr. Cheyenne Bryant. Welcome.
Dr. Cheyenne Bryant
How are you?
DJ Envy
You are one of the people in the mental health space who really using social media. Right, right. Like, you know. Cause you've used it to, you know, elevate your platform and just elevate the conversation around mental health. So I applaud you on that.
Dr. Cheyenne Bryant
Yeah. Thank you. I appreciate that.
Tamika
Yeah.
Dr. Cheyenne Bryant
I always say I didn't get into this field to become a celebrity, but God has his own plans, right? So I literally, in my master's and my doctorate program I remember my professor saying, everyone who's gonna get licensed, raise your hand. I didn't raise my hand. Everybody else did. And he's like, doc, you go. You know, was Cheyenne at that time, you're going through all this to not get licensed? I'm like, no, because I'm gonna be on a platform where I'm able to change lives. Didn't think that it ended up being a platform where to this magnitude 1 and then to the place where literally I didn't want it. The whole celebrity status and lifestyle. And not that I'm saying I don't want it now and I don't like it. It's just this is not where I expected it to go. But again, if God needs to use a celebrity ness, you know, whether the celebrity status brings me the naysayers or the sayers, whatever it brings, as long as they can get a tip or two that gives them a better quality of life and helps them become better mentally, then run the play.
Just Hilarious
Now, you talked about your calling. So when it came. When it comes to your calling, what is your calling? What do you specialize in? Is it relationships? Is it dealing with people's problems? Is it just listening? What is your specialty when it comes to it? And what's your calling?
Dr. Cheyenne Bryant
I love that. So I started off as a marriage and marriage, family and child therapist. And I told God, I said, listen, I'm a little girl from the hood. You know what I come from. Don't put me in the hood and don't put me with court order DCF kids. Not that I had a problem with him. I didn't want to be triggered dealing with him, and I didn't want to have to deal with what I came from. I wasn't in the system, but I came from that type of adversity. And the first place God put me was off of Hodale and Slauson. I don't know if y'all familiar with la, but a block away from Slauson, Swap meet in the hood. And every one of my clients were court ordered. Dcfs, Department of Family and Child Services. We had moms in there who were pregnant, still hitting the pipe, asking me, can I sign off on the documents so they can get the kids back? Because I was predicated on their reunification with their kids. And so started off as doing that. When I got my doctorate, I transitioned to a psychology expert life coach. My specialty then was marriage, family, and child therapy. So that is my foundation. So now that I am a psychology expert life coach, I can't get rid of that. Because that's my foundation. I do psychodynamic cbt, but I couple it, which is my hybrid approach with coaching. So it's therapy and coaching, which is hybrid. And I say this with all humility. That's why I'm so effective, because therapy is. Tell me more. Let me hear about your trauma, your daddy issues, your mom issues. Why are you who you are? And then once you're finished dealing with that and you process that, okay, DJ envy, where the hell you going from there.
Just Hilarious
I do have one other question. When it comes to the therapy aspect, I'm sure the world has been watching the Mendez brothers, right? And I had a question. Right? So the Mendez brothers, if you don't know, they confess their crime to their therapist. And they believed that the therapist could not tell police officers because it was, I guess, patient client privilege. But they did. So does that mean anything that I tell a therapist or that anybody tells a therapist can and can possibly be used against them in the court of law?
Dr. Cheyenne Bryant
100%. So a therapist is only under confidential oath, unless you are threatening to kill yourself and someone else. And it can't just be a threat. It has to be. You have. You actually have, like a action plan to do so, right? You can't just come to me and say, hey, Doc, look, you know, I want to kill myself. I will help you process through that and hopefully talk you off the ledge. But if you say, I got a plan, at 9pm I'm leaving the house, I'm going to do X, Y and Z to my wife, then I have a duty to report. If I'm subpoenaed to court, I have to speak on that.
DJ Envy
Can you reach out to the court and say, subpoena me. I need to be subpoenaed.
Dr. Cheyenne Bryant
I personally would never do that just because I believe in following the oath of. And maybe I just love and respect my clients too much. But if you came to me and said something, I'm just not. And I know this is smaller than murder, but I've had married couples who come separately and together, and the husband is just lighting it up in his individual sessions, like, I'm cheating. I'm intimate with this person and that person. It's family members. It's this. And I'm. And I'm having to just make sure I process my countertransference because I'm sitting there like, damn. And I have her in one hour. In one hour.
Charlamagne Tha God
God.
Dr. Cheyenne Bryant
Now, of course, if it was like my girlfriend, I'd be like.
James
But you Would take your girlfriends, though, right? Because it's in a.
Dr. Cheyenne Bryant
My best friend couldn't be. That's a complication. She could never come to me as a psychology expert, any of that. But then I'd be ripping into him.
DJ Envy
Talk to me from the human perspective. Because you're still a real.
Dr. Cheyenne Bryant
I am.
DJ Envy
So when you hear stuff like that, when you hear the guy come in one hour, he doing X, Y, and Z, then the woman come in the next hour. What is going through your mind about the dude?
Dr. Cheyenne Bryant
You know, in my mind, honestly, what I try to do, and some of my clients have followed this guidance. I have one client now, he's married, and the wife is attempting to divorce him, and she's divorcing him because he cheated. But she doesn't have any hard facts on him. So I've. All. I've actually been able to process with him. Whether you're gonna be with this woman or not, if you want to be with her or you want to be able to leave and do better, at some point, you got to be able to be real with yourself and real with her, and you got to be transparent. When do you plan on doing that? So he just.
Charlamagne Tha God
Literally.
Dr. Cheyenne Bryant
This week or last week? Because this week he told me, doc, I sat with her, and I told her that it's been, you know, a few times that I did cheat. And I said, how does she respond? He says. She said, now we can have a conversation because now you keeping it real. And when I had her in session, I said, listen, Triggered. Triggered, right?
DJ Envy
Yeah.
Dr. Cheyenne Bryant
I told her. I said, look, you have two options. I said, either if you're willing to learn to love a dog, we can start that process because, you know, or we can start the process of you leaving and starting over. And she goes, what do you mean by a dog? He said, but he didn't. We've been together for 10 years. He's never cheated. The first time, I said, no, no, baby. I said, he's been quiet for 10 years. He decided to bark on your number 10.
DJ Envy
Jesus Christ.
James
So you don't think that he could change in that marriage and not cheat anymore?
Dr. Cheyenne Bryant
First of all, nobody changes, including me. We shift, and that changes our life. And when I say we shift, we shift out of the things and behaviors that don't serve us after we learn they're not working.
James
Gotcha.
Dr. Cheyenne Bryant
And then we have to learn to manage those. So I am very firecrackery. When I was younger, I was very temperamental. I was very, you know, who you talking to real quick? I just, because of my trauma, because of things, I just had a very protective, by all means necessary. I'm the oldest of seven, so I was, you know, I light this place up. Is that still in me after all of my healing? Hell yeah. Do I manage it? Absolutely. Managing it just means that I'm high function. I'm able to regulate my emotions, identify my emotions. Don't get into my feelings because emotions are healthy. Feelings cause problems and I can just say, okay, I identify that I'm angry, I'm frustrated. So now let me choose my response. Before I was low functioning. Once I felt it, I was triggered and everybody here was going to know and it was going to be a problem. So does that still come up? Yeah, but do I have self talk that says we not doing that?
Just Hilarious
So you would never date a man that cheated before because you feel like he will always be a cheater? Is that what you're saying?
Dr. Cheyenne Bryant
I think that's also circumstantial. So I do believe that different relationships bring out different things in us. I was also an extreme alpha. In my first engagement, I had two engagements called off, two weddings. My first relationship I was engaged to, I was extreme alpha. So even if he tried to be alpha, I left no space. It was like, hell no, by all means necessary. Because I said so you can walk. Like, I'm chasing my career, I know my value. I'm not fatherless. I got a daddy, he spoils me, good day.
Lola LaRosa
So even in that, do you feel like that he wasn't man enough for you or like, what was that? Do you think that's your fault? Do you look back and be like, ugh, I was trying to be the man, not trying to be the man, but I actually, I gave him. Because you just said you gave no room for him to do it. So do you regret that part of it?
Dr. Cheyenne Bryant
I think that's a duality. I think he chose a woman who was Alpha because it fed something in him that was beta. Yeah, I chose a man who was beta because my alpha needed to be inflamed. But my second engagement, he was alpha. That's why I say circumstantial. But not only was he Alpha, I was ready. I had these submissive fields in me already. So by the time we got in a relationship, I was a hybrid. By then I was alpha submissive. So I was cooking, he was daddy, I was soft, I was in my feminine. And the blessing of that is I got to experience both. And I learned that I fell more in love with myself. In my softness than he probably did. Yeah, that thing.
Just Hilarious
All right, we have more with Dr. Cheyenne Bryant when we come back, so don't move. It's the Breakfast Club. Good morning, the Breakfast Club. Morning, everybody. It's DJ Envy. Jess. Hilarious Charlamagne. The God we are the Breakfast Club. We're still kicking it with Dr. Cheyenne Bryant. Of course. She has her show, Truth Talks on Fox Soul Monday through Friday, 8pm She's a psychology expert, a life coach. Jess.
Lola LaRosa
So the interview with Cam and also I saw that you sat down with Nick. Did they reach out to you or did you reach out to them?
Dr. Cheyenne Bryant
So Nick reached out to me. Okay. And said, doc, what's up? Like, I want to work through some things, but I want to work through it on camera. And I said, okay, no problem, but I'm going to penetrate. So we're not doing.
Lola LaRosa
Oh, that's right, penetrate.
Charlamagne Tha God
He's crazy.
James
The things that trigger you is crazy.
Dr. Cheyenne Bryant
So when you trigger him.
Just Hilarious
So he likes penetration.
Charlamagne Tha God
Right.
Dr. Cheyenne Bryant
It's funny because Nick always goes, doc, do you have to use that word? I'm like, yeah, I am. I'm penetrating you at the space that obviously is broken.
Just Hilarious
Yeah.
Dr. Cheyenne Bryant
And that's dysfunctional and toxic.
Sandra, the Haitian therapist
You need to grow up too.
Dr. Cheyenne Bryant
See, men just don't change. Nope.
Charlamagne Tha God
Like you.
Dr. Cheyenne Bryant
To your point.
James
12 year old girl right now.
Dr. Cheyenne Bryant
Definitely present.
Just Hilarious
Definitely present.
Lola LaRosa
So when he says, all right, I need to work through some things, you're like, okay, on camera. Does that then in your mind say, is this for real?
Dr. Cheyenne Bryant
For real.
Lola LaRosa
Or do you want to appeal to a certain market, you know, to a certain audience?
Dr. Cheyenne Bryant
I love that.
Lola LaRosa
You know what I'm saying?
Dr. Cheyenne Bryant
Great observation. I didn't look at it like that because I look at it like I have a job to do. And so my intent was to use Nick's situation and shift a whole culture of black men saying what can. And it happened. There were a lot of naysayers, but a lot of black men were actually in there creating the vi.
Just Hilarious
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Dr. Cheyenne Bryant
Ironists and saying, listen, Doc is right. We need to create more husbands and less baby daddies. Cam was resistant, but Cam had to answer a lot of questions. Cam had a lot of stuff. He had a lot of different conversations he had to have with that woman.
DJ Envy
Yeah, I saw Cam say. Cam said that, you know, it affected his relationship with his first two baby moms and his current situation. So do you feel any remorse for that?
Dr. Cheyenne Bryant
No.
Lola LaRosa
Yeah.
Dr. Cheyenne Bryant
Because I'm here to interrupt that pattern. No, like should have been interrupted a long time ago.
Lola LaRosa
A long time ago.
Charlamagne Tha God
Yeah.
Dr. Cheyenne Bryant
You know, Cam and you come from. And not that this breeds good decision making people, but Cam comes from. He's a pastor's child. He comes from two parents that are still married and they're still very. They're pastors. Very much involved with the church. That goes to show you, like the Bible said, it was good for me that I was afflicted because you got people who come from brokenness. This is why I said these kids are not doomed who make different decisions. Because it's not about where a lot of times, it's not where you go and they get you. Where you. Where you going. It's where you trying to get the hell away from.
Lola LaRosa
Yeah.
Dr. Cheyenne Bryant
And a lot of times parents. Yeah. Like I was telling Ray J, this Ray J is my client as well.
Lola LaRosa
Jesus.
Dr. Cheyenne Bryant
And leave my boy alone. Leave Ray. I was telling Ray. I said, ray, I love your parents. They showed you everything to do. Right. They didn't show you what not to do. And see, for me, I had a circumstance and environment that showed me everything not to do.
Sandra, the Haitian therapist
Right.
Dr. Cheyenne Bryant
So sometimes knowing what not to do saves you from doing the wrong.
Lola LaRosa
I was just gonna ask, how do you deal with your other clients if you have Ray J?
DJ Envy
Who do you talk to after you talk to Ray J?
Just Hilarious
Do you have a therapist?
Charlamagne Tha God
I hope you have.
Dr. Cheyenne Bryant
I do. Okay. I have that. I have wise counsel. Yeah.
Charlamagne Tha God
Yeah.
Dr. Cheyenne Bryant
I have a nice group, a nice, really healthy ecosystem. Okay. Of people who are in, you know, Counselors and coaches and who are not.
Just Hilarious
What do you say. What do you say to people that say, you know, how do you give advice on marriages and marriage couples when you. When you're not married? I was. What do you say to those people?
Dr. Cheyenne Bryant
I love that I say that. I don't want to hear you've been together 15 years with miserable 13. I'd rather take advice from a single woman or man who's happy, thriving, successful, meaning in their joy, not just in their monetary value, than someone who is miserable in the marriage with a side dude and a side chick. And you want to give me the advice that you give yourself, that you use in your failed marriage.
Lola LaRosa
I'll pass.
Dr. Cheyenne Bryant
I'll pass. I'll pass. And what happens is married people like to shun on single folks. The Bible also says single people are happy people.
DJ Envy
Look that up.
Dr. Cheyenne Bryant
Look that up. It says marriage takes discipline. No, it says marriage take discipline because.
Just Hilarious
A lot of times they say that you reach out to older couples that's been married longer because they'll tell you how to deal with the marriage than people. You know, like some people say, don't hang out with your single friends. You talk to married couples that's been in that situation.
Dr. Cheyenne Bryant
And you know why that's true? Because folks have been married 10, 15, 20 years. They've been through the trenches.
Charlamagne Tha God
Yeah.
Dr. Cheyenne Bryant
So they're not going to teach you how to be happy. We got that. Single sis. We got that. I've had that all my life. They gonna teach you how to get through the. The times when you ain't happy. Y'all married. You know that. Let's not play this game. You married. You know that.
Just Hilarious
You think people get married too early.
Dr. Cheyenne Bryant
I think people choose the wrong people. I think people choose their fairytale ideology. They're not choosing the person. See, people are choosing marriage and not a husband. They're choosing marriage and not a wife. And so when you're choosing marriage, you get the title. You get the looks of it, but you're not getting a person. So you're a beautiful house who's homeless.
DJ Envy
They like the idea of dying.
Dr. Cheyenne Bryant
The idea. And those are people who are fatherless, sometimes motherless, who just need something to be a part of. I just need this companionship. I want the title. I don't feel value. I don't feel validated. So because we're married, I got somebody who's checking for me. I got somebody who can get me through the day. But you gotta be able to check even in marriage. I was engaged for 10 years, you know, because I kept calling it off, calling it off. And he was like, you keep getting these degrees, you keep saying, wait for the next degree. We're getting married. And by the time I went and got my doctor, he's like, baby, you done got four degrees.
Just Hilarious
I ain't waiting no more.
Dr. Cheyenne Bryant
Engaged for 10 years, I kept putting it off because I knew that that wasn't my person.
Lola LaRosa
I was gonna say I left your ass.
DJ Envy
You said you knew he was holding. Yeah, that's the point.
Dr. Cheyenne Bryant
And I end up le him, you know, Unfortunate for him.
DJ Envy
You strung him along for 10 years.
Just Hilarious
10 years.
Lola LaRosa
And she said he was a great guy.
Dr. Cheyenne Bryant
Great guy. He was a great guy. He just wasn't my guy. Right. And so for 10 years, he thought.
DJ Envy
He was the guy. You scrung him along for 10 years. Why you ain't let him go be great with somebody else that would appreciate him and love him?
Dr. Cheyenne Bryant
So I'm not saying for 10 years, I knew he wasn't the one. When we got about year number five or six and I seen that his work ethic and his ability to provide at the level that I wanted our family to be at, I knew that he wasn't mine. My guy. And when I say provide, I'm not talking about like, he was making six figures. And I was like, now make millions. I'm saying his thing was, baby, I'm cool with me. You a dog in a one bedroom apartment and just no work ethic at all. So for the first six years, I thought, well, I'm out here getting it. I have a legal company. You know, I own Property. I'm only 22. I'm getting all these college degrees. How can he not be inspired by me? See, that's that age appropriate young woman. He got potential. Let me stay. That's why people should take their time. When I seen you number seven and eight, this guy was the same guy who was. I hate talking because he's such a good guy. I always protect him when I talk about him. But where? He was lazy and he had no work ethic. I had a pivot.
DJ Envy
Did he acquire more in the future?
Dr. Cheyenne Bryant
No, he's still in the same place. So I made the right decision.
Just Hilarious
All right, we have more with Dr. Cheyenne Bryant when we come back. Don't move. It's the Breakfast Club. Good morning, everybody. It's DJ Envy. Just hilarious. Charlamagne, the guy. We are the Breakfast Club. We're still kicking it with Dr. Cheyenne Bryant, psychology expert, life coach. You know, she has her show Truth Talks on Fox Soul. Now, I want to ask you about some Internet rumors that I seen. You know, Corey Holcomb said some things about you, about not having your degree and where you started off as, I guess working in a strip club. Is any of that stuff true?
DJ Envy
You say you're not a real doctor.
Just Hilarious
You said, yeah. You're not a real doctor.
Dr. Cheyenne Bryant
No. So I have four degrees. Three are in psychology. One's in Pan African Studies. My doctor degree is in counseling psychology. My master's in marriage. I'm in child therapy. All degrees are in psychology. Where this Corey Holcomb thing comes from is we did. I was on a show 10 years ago when I actually, I think it was before I even had my doctor's degree. And Corey is used to being able to be very disrespectful to women and do his things.
Just Hilarious
You was on the show with him or was just.
Dr. Cheyenne Bryant
He was a guest on a show. I was co hosting. He was a guest and I drilled his ass, to be honest. It's on YouTube. People could, you know, look at it. And I cut into him and I said, you seem like you are inferior to white men. You seem like you got daddy issues and you seem like you got mommy issues. You got kids that don't even talk to you or respect you. They don't like you. It tells a lot about your character. Now, this was 10 years ago, okay? And obviously he's still in his feminine because he's still holding a grudge over it. You know, this is like interviews are interviews. Are you saying you do them and you move on to the next? And so was very upset. And I feel like in that space, he was. Y'all could watch it. He was dumbfounded. Like, usually he comes back with the, you know, fub, or he has something to say.
Lola LaRosa
Cory is just a broken person, period. And I do feel like you'll need help. He needs help.
Dr. Cheyenne Bryant
Corey needs off camera. If Corey came to me and said, doc, let's do off camera sessions, 100%. 100%. If he wants to do it on camera, because it's just going to be a rhetoric. I'm not doing that to help his career. I will help him as a man, but I'm not here to help him in his career. That's his job. I'm not here to carry a man that ain't mine or float a man that ain't mine, but to help you with your mental health or help you as a person. He's an alcoholic. He drinks a lot. You know, he's overcompensating those areas. Those are places he needs help with. Did you guys see what he looked like on Cam Newton interview? I'm not talking about looks meaning attractiveness. Do you see how unwell, hygienically clean he looks?
DJ Envy
God Damn. All right, Dr. Bryant. Lord have mercy.
Dr. Cheyenne Bryant
Let me say what? No, this ties into mental health. That man's hygiene was on negative 200. What I'm saying is he needs deeper help than me coming on 5150 to bring him a bigger audience. He can still do 5150, but he needs to be able to 5150 himself and get the help that he needs.
DJ Envy
Lord have mercy.
Lola LaRosa
Girl, that's right.
James
I saw you said, too, that you comment on the fact that Kamala didn't come out that first night when she didn't win. Speak to that and speak to the comment because people were upset about.
Dr. Cheyenne Bryant
Oh, yeah, another unpopular opinion. I don't care. This is. She proved why the people, men and women who are not ready for a woman president are not ready for a woman president. Because society and some men, not all, deem women as emotionally unstable and unable to regulate our emotions. Sis, when these, when you knew you weren't winning or weren't in the lead, and these kids, these babies, these adults were at a historical black university that you went to, Howard, waiting hours for you, they had volunteered. I'm sure they had contributed. And they probably voted for you and supported you. This entire time, you couldn't come out and address the people who supported you. That's proven to the people who don't believe women could lead at that level, that a woman can't regulate her emotions enough to come out and take an L, I don't care if she would have came out in tears. Listen, I'm sorry we lost, whatever that.
DJ Envy
Looks like, I'll give a little pushback on that because.
Dr. Cheyenne Bryant
Go ahead.
DJ Envy
Donald Trump never gave a concession speech. Hillary Clinton, nor would he even admit that he lost.
Dr. Cheyenne Bryant
But we're talking about Trump, who runs on being that type of person anyway. So his people never expected that. Just like when someone says, well, Trump's a racist, he's running on that. Trump is talking about getting rid of DUI dei. He has said that.
Charlamagne Tha God
I get what you're saying.
DJ Envy
No, I get what you're saying.
Dr. Cheyenne Bryant
But Kamala came out and showed us all this love and support. But when you took the L, not only did you not come out, you sent a man to come out and address these people. Cedric Ridgewood he was fine too. You didn't even send another woman or black woman. This was a woman's moment. And in my opinion, all that did was tell the folks who said women can't lead. See, she sent a man out to do it and then came out the next day. That's not leadership. To me, leadership is commitment. And commitment is doing what you said you would do regardless of how you feel. I don't care how you felt. Kamala, come out and address us. Those kids left what they had down. They weren't sad just because she lost. They were sad because they were looking for who was still their leader, whether she lost or not to come out and address those kids.
Just Hilarious
I was gonna ask, when's the last time you apologized or last time you were wrong about something? Do you remember?
Lola LaRosa
Good question.
Dr. Cheyenne Bryant
It prob. No.
Just Hilarious
Probably was 1984.
Dr. Cheyenne Bryant
No, it probably was to my best friend Lola and my assistant. We work so closely together. We're always together. Because I'm so comfortable with her. She gets all of my moving parts, to be honest with you.
James
What about to a man that you're dating?
Just Hilarious
He ain't never get an apology.
James
I ask you that, though, because you are very strong in opinion and stuff like that. And I think men think that women that are structured, like, you don't know how to be accountable and don't know how to apologize.
Dr. Cheyenne Bryant
I'm very accountable. I do apologize. That's why I said, I want a man who will say with respect, and he ain't about to just dominate, like, shut your ass up. You know, he can be disrespectful, but I want a man who's like, hold on. You out of pocket right now. You know, like, we don't do that. This is not what we do. And I like you strong, but this is not strong. This is disrespectful, baby. But I want him to be able to know how to say it. And then I will be like, you know, even if it's not in that moment, I can process and be like, you know what? You're right. And I do. I will apologize. I will come to myself, because I have the discipline of that self talk of saying, stop, you know? Or I will say, listen, you've already apologized. You've done everything you could. Right now. It's not a you problem. I'm still trying to get out of my ego. So just give me 30 minutes, because, baby, you've apologized. Like, you've done your job. And then I come around in 20, 30 minutes, and I'm like, okay, I'm back. And I'm sorry too.
DJ Envy
That's awareness. That's accountability.
Dr. Cheyenne Bryant
Sorry. And I. And the thing is, when you really want peace, and that's the thing about being single for so long though. You, you.
James
I can. Yes, you figure it out.
Dr. Cheyenne Bryant
You find a piece and a joy that when you do get in a.
James
Relationship, it gotta make sense.
Dr. Cheyenne Bryant
And when you do get a relationship though, you're really saying let's dead in this, let's dead in this argument.
James
Have you ever got afraid that you're gonna get so used to that piece that you're not gonna want to do nothing? Because I tell myself that all the time. Like I'm in such a good state, I don't want nothing to bother me.
Dr. Cheyenne Bryant
But people come with flaws.
Just Hilarious
Shut up, Charlemagne.
James
He's a hater. He's a hater.
Dr. Cheyenne Bryant
Well, no, because I have been, I have been serial, serial dating for the six years I've been single. So when I say single, it means I haven't been committed, but have I had like three months, six months relationships that went that long season and were exclusive and were committed in that season.
James
Yeah.
Dr. Cheyenne Bryant
Because I am very into exclusivity. I don't like casual sex. And so I will accidentally go a year, year and a half celibate because I don't like the casualty of sex. And when I decide to, I would choose that one person to be around for the long term.
James
Well, when does that decision happen for you?
Dr. Cheyenne Bryant
Now I'm in my, I'm in my choosing stage.
James
So it's going to happen now, like soon.
Dr. Cheyenne Bryant
I'm in my choosing stage but, but I'm not, I'm not desperate. So it's not like I'm again, I'm not choosing just a high valued man. I would even take a man who's a little less value, meaning a little less income money. But I just love this man. He's my person. Right.
Charlamagne Tha God
So.
Dr. Cheyenne Bryant
Yeah. Yeah. I mean he can. Yeah. So I would, and I would regular have a rather have a regular man who isn't in the limelight, who we both don't have to straddle this, this whole industry thing. And he can go run a business or go be a corporate guy. He can come to my shows and we can go home and have intellectual pillow talk. I can go home and put my hair in a bird's nest and walk around with sweats and a tank top and no bra. You don't know what a bird's nest is?
DJ Envy
No, I definitely know what it Is.
James
Oh, wait, he floored.
Lola LaRosa
You know what? So you got the show Truth Talks.
Dr. Cheyenne Bryant
I do truth Talks. Yes. Yes.
Lola LaRosa
Before we get out of here.
Dr. Cheyenne Bryant
Oh my God. So Truth Talks is my new talk show. It's on Fox. It's Monday through Friday at 8.
Lola LaRosa
Congratulations.
DJ Envy
Why somebody give you a talk show? You good at talking to some.
Dr. Cheyenne Bryant
No, not at all. Not at all. It's funny sometime the producers are like, doc, you know, give the other co host time to talk. I'm like, really? I'm like, I gotta do that. Yeah, but it's cool. We're pretty much. We're a global news. We're. We're a CNN that gives you the black voice, the black perspective and we're bringing truth to everything. News with culture twist to it. So we're, we're every night, 8pm prime time.
Lola LaRosa
Love that.
Dr. Cheyenne Bryant
Yeah.
DJ Envy
Follow you Dr. Cheyenne, follow me on.
Dr. Cheyenne Bryant
Underscore, Dr. Bryant on Instagram, social media. Or you can go to Dr. Bryant co. And that's Dr. Bryant co, not dot com. And then I'm on my speaking tour. Yeah.
Charlamagne Tha God
Dr.
Just Hilarious
Shy and Brian, we appreciate you.
Dr. Cheyenne Bryant
So much. Thank y'all for having me.
Just Hilarious
It's the Breakfast Club. Good morning. Thank you.
DJ Envy
The Breakfast Club.
Just Hilarious
Morning everybody. It's DJ Envy Jess. Hilarious Charlamagne the guy we are the Breakfast Club. Jess is on maternity leave, so Lauren's filling in and we got a special guest in the building.
Charlamagne Tha God
Ladies, it's going down.
Just Hilarious
Wallow.
Charlamagne Tha God
Listen, man. Welcome to the Breakfast Club. This morning presented to you by million dollars worth of game. Listen, man, we didn't bought the company, man. It's good. It's going down, man. We doing it big now, man. Got my brother right here.
DJ Envy
I'm so proud of you. Wallow.
Charlamagne Tha God
Listen, man, listen. I want to give you. Before I even start, I got to give you your flowers because you've been man, you it. Me and you had several phone calls. We had a thousand phone calls. A couple years ago you hit me up. You was like, wallow, you need a book. This was years ago and you was talking about how you and Kev was talking about you and Kevin Hart was talking about some man. Wallow would be crazy on a on audiobook, which I did my own audiobook shout out to. You know, shout out to Ayanna Van Zandt also who did audio. She did the forward for me. Shout out to 13Amy publisher man. For, you know. Yes, for making it happen. Simon the Schuster. But we here now. You told me. You keep telling me about a book. Your book, the book Changed your life.
DJ Envy
That's right. And you got too much of a story, man.
Charlamagne Tha God
The book, the book. That's all you kept saying. And now we here, man, all with good attention. It's game changer.
DJ Envy
The book title is perfect for you because there's not too many people on this planet who come with good intentions like Wallow does.
Charlamagne Tha God
Appreciate that.
DJ Envy
When did you develop that. That mentality?
Charlamagne Tha God
I don't know, man. I was on street corners. I was. I was. I had good intentions on the street corners. I just wanted to still American dream. And I said, man is too slow. The only people that got respect in my neighborhood was successful criminals. So even though I was a good person growing up, my grandma raised me well, my mom, you know. You know, I was like, I gotta figure this out. So I said, I gotta. I got, man. Only people they respect out here is the people that's winning by any means. And then even in America, I was like, damn, hold up, America, they only respect the Scarface. They only respect the Godfather. They don't respect nobody else. I gotta go get some money. So even though my heart was good, I had to go figure it out. And that led me to prison most of my life. And. And. But, you know, even in there, he's.
Just Hilarious
In prison 13 years, right?
DJ Envy
20.
Charlamagne Tha God
20. I did 20 penitentiary, five years in and out of the juvenile system. And even in the. I remember, you know, always, man, why you. All I did was laugh in jail and just do what I needed to do, educate myself, because I realized that and to the point where somebody said I was one of the nicest dude in prison because I knew why I was there. I did mine. I was accountable for my. So, you know, and that helped me change and develop into what I become today. You know, I'm just happy to be here. And. And I. And I try my best to share all the knowledge that I got as, you know, with our people to show. Let's listen. We bigger than what y'all think we are. Because I always say this, and it's crazy to me, it's like, you know, back in the day, we didn't have nothing, but we had everything because we had each other. And that was important. And it's like. It seemed like now we find so many reasons not to deal with each other. And it's like, God damn, who you working for?
DJ Envy
That's right.
Charlamagne Tha God
Like, you go on social media, it's like, who you working for? But I had to realize something. A lot of us don't want to look in that mirror and Deal with. I don't hate envy because of his money, his car is, his family, his marriage. I hate envy because envy getting love for doing something that I always wanted to do, but I ain't have enough heart to go out here and do it.
DJ Envy
Well, die you bit.
Charlamagne Tha God
No, I'm not talking about that. I'm just talking about in general. Yeah, he do got that Beijing, but I'm just saying like, shout out to Beijing, give him a deal.
Just Hilarious
It's not Beijing, but like this and third for men.
Charlamagne Tha God
But damn, okay, he better be paying you the way you put that out there. Promo. But, but what I'm saying is like, that's how our culture became. It became like this in social media. Made it like a lot of people got to look in the mirror and say, damn, I didn't mater serialize my dreams. And that's the hardest thing to do is, you know. So it's more easy to say Charlemagne, to suck and envy this, Lord, this, just this. It's much more easy to say than to say, let me get off my ass and go ahead and do something with my life. So. But it's just, it's just sad out here when you see it now. And it's just like we just. I don't know, man. And all we ever had was each other. That's the only way we ever made it in life.
DJ Envy
You said you in the book, you say it's actually in the chapter arm of good intentions. You said you screamed out one day and you made it a daily reminder that nobody will save you.
Charlamagne Tha God
Nobody. Especially when I was in prison, I'm like, we complaining that we doing. I'm like, yo, bro, we inside these white folks spot, man. Ain't nobody coming. Like, if this go off anything, we gonna be locked in these cells. Ain't nobody coming. But that's the same thing in the ghetto. Ain't nobody never come and save nobody. Right? Who saves us?
Just Hilarious
What was the change for you?
Charlamagne Tha God
What was.
Just Hilarious
Because you said you were in and out. What was the change? You said, yo, I gotta get this right and I gotta change myself.
Charlamagne Tha God
Like, to be realistic, man, I got tired of being in jail with a bunch. You see what I'm saying? I wanted to take a butt naked shower. You know what I mean? I couldn't do that. I wanted to sleep naked in the bed. I couldn't do that because I'm in the second celli. I don't know if wake up in the middle of the night, be like, yo, man, let me. I need part today. Like what we doing? Yeah, I'm straight up. He might wake up in the middle of the night and be like, hey, my man, let's. Let's figure something out. You know what I mean? So, I don't know. I'm just being real because, listen, you know what's crazy? I think one of the reasons I made it through jail so smoothly, because I was always a comedian on the low, you know what I'm saying? I was always funny. They was like. Because I wasn't there. Scared to death. You know how dudes come on from jail. I be trying to wonder that I did all this time in jail. I'd be like, what program was you on that you wasn't scared in jail, that you was just so tough? Cause I was scared to death. Soon as they listen, soon as that judge gave me them numbers and they, you know, you had your. You had your thing together about nothing. I mean, say my little words back and forth. You see the. It's back and forth word play I had with the judges that, yeah, I'm gonna be back. Walked in the joint, you know what I mean? Now you gotta do the walk back in because now you're going back into the cages where everybody looking at you when you come down. What'd they give you with it about? Nothing, man. They gave me little twenties, man. That's enough. By the time I get to my. My cell later on that, I threw that towel up, crying like a baby, man, for a newborn.
DJ Envy
Damn.
Charlamagne Tha God
And then. And then once you. The shackles hit, you box like an animal. The shack was going from your arm to your feet. You get upstate, you. You hit that penitentiary yard. You like, where my mom at? I know. It was like this. I'm seeing people with knives longer than the giraffe trunk.
DJ Envy
How old you?
Charlamagne Tha God
I was. I was. I went to the penitentiary when I was 17, but I hit the big prison yard when I turned 18. I was in Dallas Penitentiary in Pennsylvania. And that was like. That was a different type of Joan, man. I'm seeing people get married in the yard and all that. I'm like, I ain't trying to be nobody wife. I ain't sign up for this. So I know straight up married in the yard. No people was getting married in the yard. I said, damn, man.
DJ Envy
Wasn't real weddings, though.
Charlamagne Tha God
No, it was real weddings. Like, it wasn't. No. Like, if you got the Bible and you got somebody that's efficient, like, you.
James
Were just in the yard.
Charlamagne Tha God
No, I was walking the yard. I walked back, you know, I was A guest at the time, I was in the backdrop because I was walking in the yard. So I'm like, I'm sitting there and I'm like, I ain't trying to get married in the yard, man. Damn. And then I'm seeing people get stabbed and all. I'm like, yo, I'm not trying to. Why the. So I would go to my cell and be like, yo, what the. I ain't sign up for this. Because nobody tell you this. Because only stories that we hear back in the hood about jail is that you come home and you get rewarded and you get acknowledged and you tough and all this other. You get muscles. But I'm like. I'm like, damn, ain't nobody talking about the scary part. So I had to be the one to tell the scary part, to tell a real part, because I was scared especially. Listen, so I get up to the penitentiary. It's shower time. I go down there. I got my boxers on and all that. So I'm like, damn. We go down there and this is my first time in a real. Because I went to the penitentiary when a lot of younger dudes started to go like you was getting certified as adult to create a new law. So a long time it was no young boys in the one penitentiary I went to, Dallas Penitentiary, mostly old heads, and they had the most lifers in the state of Pennsylvania at this time. So you could be in a cell with anybody. You could do one year. Being a cell with a lifer, it don't matter. So I go. I go to go to the shower. So I got my towel on, my. My boxes on, and when I went to the shower, right? I go down there steamed up and everything. The shower is probably maybe 15 shower heads, and the block got 100 something dudes on there. So when I go in the shower room, it was like a movie. Like, everybody looked at me like, why you got them boxes on everybody? I'm talking about. It was a. I'm talking about. It was a sword show in that joint, man.
DJ Envy
You want to see what you're working with?
Charlamagne Tha God
No, no. I'm just like, no. It's like, that's not normal. Like you. Yeah. And I'm like, you know what? That day I realized that a shower wasn't important in a bird bath. I said I could go back to my cell and just wash up there. Why would I need. What. Why do a shower would really mean that.
Just Hilarious
So you ain't taking a shower your whole time? You just bird bath it the whole way?
Charlamagne Tha God
No, I took it for a while until I just, you know, went down there and just had my shorts comfortable because I. Because I had, I was like, damn, man. Like, why everybody gotta be naked in this joint, man? And then they looking at you, then they talking like, like they be asking. They talking. Yeah. You see the game? Oh, man, what's the name went on? Emmy Smith.
DJ Envy
I'm like, man, oh, man.
Charlamagne Tha God
Like we ain't supposed, like y'all supposed to be doing this. I don't know.
James
When did you get like, like, like comfortable with it? Like your first naked shower?
Just Hilarious
Were you talking?
Charlamagne Tha God
No, I never got a naked shower.
DJ Envy
You had 20 years wallow.
Charlamagne Tha God
Cut it out. Oh, yeah, I did. Hold up. Let me just say this. But I got one. No, no, I got one when I got to the jail where you get your own booth.
DJ Envy
Okay.
Charlamagne Tha God
I wasn't trying to be a part of it because it's like, it's like a volunteer. Like you volunteering something.
DJ Envy
How long it took to do that?
Charlamagne Tha God
Years. It took years. But different jail, different part of the jail got different sections where you get a single shower. So in that jail was Jones. We had the single shower locked in.
Just Hilarious
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Charlamagne Tha God
I always feel like that was the volunteering services. Yeah, yeah, like you was, you was, you was giving invitations to something. So I didn't know.
Just Hilarious
All right, we got more with Wallo when we come back. It's the Breakfast Club. Good morning. Hey everybody, it's DJ Envy. Jess. Hilarious. Charlamagne tha God. We are the breakfast club. Lauren LaRosa's filling in for Jess, and we're still kicking it with Wallo. Now, I got a question. When did you realize this is what you wanted to do? When you came home and you said you took that drive and you went back to. You had to McDonald's, went to Grandma's house. When did you realize this is what you wanted to do and how you wanted to change for the next generation?
Charlamagne Tha God
I was in Shout out to the lifer these Lifer Brothers, this organization and WCP and all the brothers that was in the penitentiary with me, the elders. There's an organization called Real Street Talk. So I'm in there, and One of the OGs, Brother Minister Rob, shout out to him. He come to me, said, waller, we need you to come down here and talk with a bunch of brothers. Shakur Sharif. It was Ike a big Shannon. It was a bunch of brothers that was getting together to talk to the 2, 300 inmates a week that was coming in to talk to them about listen while you in jail, use this as your time to educate yourself so you go back out there and make something happen with yourself. And it was called Real Street Talk. So I was one of the dudes that spoke in a way to where as though they really understood what I was saying, because I was like one of the youngest dudes. Even though the OG spoke, too. And I seen that they was listening, they was tapped into it. And it was a brother, Brother Rob Griffin. He was from the. He used to do security for Malcolm X in the Nation Islam back in the day. And he came to my cell one day and he was like, brother, not too many brothers out here speak with, though multiple generations could listen to understand it in the name like you speak. Clear. Keep doing that. So when I got out, just start grabbed it, Grab that phone and just start popping it. Because nobody was doing it. And I knew that I had to do it in a unique way because I was battling on the timeline. I was battling for attention, right? You know, when you go down the timeline I'm looking at, I say, okay, I gotta battle the girl that's ass naked. I gotta battle my man with a pound of Jerry on. I gotta battle the rapper, the athlete. I said, I got him. That's why if you've seen a lot of my videos, in the beginning, I'll be running across the Highway 18. Will it come laying on the ground, catch him on my head. They laughing. But I'm giving you the message as long as you listening. Because what everybody was afraid to tell us, like, yo, you can be great. You amazing. Like, we build pyramids with no cranes. I don't know what I. I read in the gym. Hold up. We did that. You mean to tell me we came up out of slavery? This little lady got us about a slavery, Sister got us about a slavery. And that ingenuity. Ho. What the is going on? Frederick Douglass was who he did what. I realized this. If you can make him laugh, you can make him listen. I always love comedy because I used to listen to Paul Moody, Richard Pryor, all of my uncle play the records, Red Fox, and I'll be laughing. But they'd be saying some deep. They lace it up. So I'm like, okay, I just gotta give it to our people in a different way. Because I just couldn't get the whole Harriet Tubman thing. Just. Just had me just like, yo, it's nothing you can't do. So I just be looking like, no, it's just a different way in a different language of doing it. And one thing that I'm always do, you'll never hear me talk down the hater. Any of our people. You know why? Never. All of our people, they might have a different message. And no matter what you're doing business, this, that I don't care what you're doing, we don't have to be doing the same thing. And just because we ain't doing the same thing, even if we might be doing something that's similar, we ain't got to be mad at each other. I ain't got to hate you. You ain't got to hate me. Because at the end of the day, is this really about the upliftment of our people?
Just Hilarious
People?
Charlamagne Tha God
If it is, how can I go online and say anything bad about our people if I really care about our people? Right. I can't tear you down to lift them up mathematically. It don't work. So what I do is, no matter if you say something about me, say something, I'm never going to say nothing about nobody. Because that's not going to add value to the whole plan of us. That's wallow.
DJ Envy
Really like this?
Charlamagne Tha God
Like, I'm not gonna do that.
DJ Envy
Even off camera, he's like, you the generational curse breaker.
Charlamagne Tha God
Wallow.
DJ Envy
That's why I'm trying to. That's why I'm so glad you put out a book, man. Because I need to see you on every platform having these conversations. I want to see you on the View. I want to See you.
Charlamagne Tha God
But you know what? You know what's crazy though? And this is why Brothers Club is a major platform for our culture and will always be. You get it when it's not cool. You get it before it go popular. You get it before it goes shiny. You get it and understand that a lot of these people don't give about that. Even though you name platforms, they don't care about that. They just want some shiny. Now wallow. Come out of prison. I'm probably one of the greatest comebacks ever to come out of prison in life. But they not gonna get that to New York Times bestseller, hit it, all that stuff. They don't understand us and we control cool, but a lot of times we don't own it. So they try to get a close proximity to our coolness. And we so much suckers, we don't be understanding that. We don't even know why when we being used out here. That's why there's a lot of that I see online. I'll be like, damn, we goofy. Can't nobody outside of us validate us but us. I'm never going to let nobody tell me that you not cool, that you not cool outside our culture. And I'm never going to let nobody give approval of what was cool and was not outside of our culture of this blackness. I love being black. I'm a die black. That's right. My family is black. I look at us and I say, we some extraordinary people. And it's not taking that note from any other group of people. But everybody else love themselves, so I'ma love me and you know, and I got some extraordinary people. That's not black. This family has been. But at the end of the day, until we start loving us on all levels, we gonna be left behind.
Just Hilarious
What do you think about when Michael Rubin was up here and said pretty much the same thing that you just said, right? Right now. But he just said we, we heard. No, he basically said our community hurts ourselves. That's what he was saying.
Charlamagne Tha God
Let me say this though. Let me say this though. Everything is about the messaging because I can't speak on behalf of, you know, different races. I can't do that because they're gonna like you wallow. So that's normal. But one thing that I can say is that everybody is speculating. Everybody's around. On that day that Meek was in that courtroom, I was in that courtroom to come and speak for Meek. Michael Rubin was in that courtroom from. And when we took that break out of the. The, you know, the judge was roughing me up. I'm talking about. She was like. She was roughing me up. We went outside to the hallway, and Mike looked at us and said, what's going on in here? Like, this guy was really shocked. I'm like, this is being black in America. He was like, what the. I'm talking about. He was personally pissed because he didn't understand that they'd be going because a lot of people just don't know.
DJ Envy
He said he didn't realize it was two Americas until, like, he listen.
Charlamagne Tha God
That day he looked at. And then he attempted to walk back in the courtroom after we had the conversation, and she slapped him around. He like, what the. Like, because he stood up and spoke and stood up, and she was like, yeah, all right. Writing the paper. Like, he went and done something. I respect Mike for that. You know, people gonna have a. Their opinions on people. But I'm talking about when I see a good person, I see a good person. I salute a good person. That's it. I ain't with all that, because I'm gonna tell you something, man, to be real with you, I got a lot of people that's not black. They help out of me same because they really. People that really believed it. And I ain't talking about business. I'm talking about in life, people that. People that love you, love you. It's not. It's not always gonna be a color thing. Thing. And I know we fight so much to get us together, but at the end of the day, while you spend your. Your time on this planet, you better love who love you, and you better figure out who love you and who got your back. Because I'm gonna tell you something. I don't know what anybody else doing out here, but I'm 45. And I'm saying to myself, hopefully I get another 45 out here, because my grandma 90. So I'm measuring it by that my Uncle James, rest in peace. And him, he died. He was 93 or 94. But we gotta. We got a nice length in our joint.
Sandra, the Haitian therapist
Pause, Pause.
Charlamagne Tha God
Oh, was that a pause camp? I gotta run that by Cam, because I'm talking about the lift of years. I'm not saying, but. Oh, yeah, but what I'm saying is. Well, use a Paul's Champion, though. You in the Guinness. But I'm gonna say this. I'm gonna say this, though. I'm looking at like I'm 45 now. There's a big chance I'm getting out of this joint one day. I can't worry about. I'm gonna be going. I gotta go. I gotta go. And when I go, my whole thing, I want to be able to say, I left that on the planet. That's why. That's why I live the life that I live. I do me. If I want to buy something, I buy it. If I want to go somewhere, I'm gonna go somewhere. I'm not living my life based off of some fear. Because guess what? You know how many in the graveyard sitting there mad like, damn, I should have got this. Damn, I should have went here. Damn, I should have done this. We don't do enough. We don't live enough. We don't. We don't put more positive energy out enough. Because I'm saying to myself, damn, I gotta. I got a lot of to make up on. Because I know what you know. When I see God, I don't want it to be like that. And I'll tell you, because God get funky for people, you know? I mean, I'm. I don't want to be the one like, you had plenty of time. You know where you got to go at the end of the day. I just try to put the best energy possible out there to our people to let them know, listen, man, we ain't got time. We ain't gonna be here forever. Love each other, do what you got to do and keep it moving. But one day, you got to get up out of here.
Just Hilarious
All right, we got more with Wallow when we come back. It's the Breakfast Club. Good morning. Morning, everybody. It's DJ Envy. Jess. Hilarious. Charlamagne, the guy we are the Breakfast Club. Lauren Laros is filling in for Jess. We're still kicking it with Wallow. His book Armed with Good Intentions is out right now. Charlamagne.
DJ Envy
One thing I want you to talk about before we leave. You said the feeling of not being punished for doing something you knew was wrong was equivalent to your first orgasm. How long did it take for you to actually feel guilt when you did something wrong?
Charlamagne Tha God
Man, it took me a while. Because you're young and you just don't know. So it take you a while. And then when it hit, you just be like, damn, I did some crazy. But it was a while. It was just a thirst. It was just. I don't know. I think I was just part of stealing the American dream. I was doing my thing. Cause I wanted to be. You gotta stand. I'm looking at. Looking at these movies, man. I'm looking at Ray Leola and Good Fellas and, you know, the part where he burning the cars up, he throwing the joint. He said, by the time I was 14, I was making more money than, than the grown ups around my neighborhood. I'm like, damn, I wanted to be that. I wanted some money because we gonna be obvious. I always tell people this when that guy in the 80s pull up with that bins, if you know what I'm talking, he got the BINS in the 80s, he got that gold chain on, he got that feline sweatsuit on with the felas, got them rings on them nugget rings and all that. And he pull up to a neighborhood, he's pulling up to our black communities to deal with the most beautifulest girl in our neighborhood. And when he pull up to get her, as he opening the car door and she get in the car door, you know, Speaking to him, Ms. Johnson, Ms. Brown, Ms. Green, they go, hey baby. But at the same time, you seeing Mr. John come back from work, He's a plumber, all dirty, ain't nobody speaking to him. I'm sitting on the step watching all that take place. So I said, damn, I got to be a part of this. In the black community, the women dictate who the man want to grow up to be. Money based off of who they date.
DJ Envy
That's real.
Charlamagne Tha God
So I'm looking at it like I'm only seeing these girls, they dealers and dudes that got nice cars. I gotta get me some nice cars to get me some ass. Oh, I gotta get some. I gotta get some jury. I gotta get some. I gotta get fly. That's what it was about.
DJ Envy
And the way you saw to get fly.
Charlamagne Tha God
That's the only people I see the respect. They only respected the criminals in the.
DJ Envy
Game, money and violence.
Charlamagne Tha God
Listen, do you go ask any judges, lawyers, prosecutors and all that, what's your favorite movies? High fiverrs. What's your favorite series? The Sopranos. Everything gonna be. They love the successful criminal. So I grew up to try to be that. But as I grew old, I took responsibility to say, oh yeah, I'm gonna, I did wrong. You never heard me say it was. No, I wasn't in jail for some that magically did or because of the white man. I was in jail because I wanted to get busy and I did what I did.
James
To your point about women shaping everything. You talk a lot about black women and Latino women and how you staff your team with women. Can you talk like why that's important and how that's helped you along your journey as you like built Shout out.
Charlamagne Tha God
To my Manager, business partner, Desiree Ivey. Shout out to Amarill. Shout out to Shayum Lawson, my attorney. These women. Let me explain something to you about these women. They get done.
DJ Envy
That's right.
Charlamagne Tha God
They not playing games at all. I don't know what it is about. No. They get them going crazy. They lose their mind about. No. I'd be like, damn, what happened? Somebody told me, not today. What? What's going on? Don't worry about it. Mind your business. I'll get to the bottom. I'll tell you when I get it done. They move different. And you know what? You know what's going on. I just want to say this. A lot of these companies in America, they be playing games. And a lot of times, people don't see them because they be in the shadows. But when it comes to our culture, Black women running.
DJ Envy
Absolutely.
Charlamagne Tha God
I'm talking about from. Not just from the consumer side, not just from the. The marketing side, but from the. The boardrooms, the sisters. I went to the boardroom of Rich Claim and Company with sisters running. Sisters running everywhere.
DJ Envy
That's right.
Charlamagne Tha God
Like, I don't think you're gonna get something off. You ain't got no sisters in that. In that fold.
DJ Envy
Every single entity. I got a black woman running.
Charlamagne Tha God
Shout out to all the dollar. Dolly's a monster. She's no joke.
DJ Envy
Nicole.
Charlamagne Tha God
Shout out to all the sisters out there that's doing it. Going up against all the bull, all the racism in these companies. Y'all. Y'all going to hr. HR is playing games with y'all. They, they, they. They trying to weed y'all out. Because soon as assistant get up, can she stand up for herself? Oh, she's being a girl. Everybody play victim. Soon as the sister speak up for herself. These people being these corporations throwing all these rocks. As soon as the sisters say, oh, I'm not going for that. Oh, my God, she's being aggressive. Oh, my God, I'm scared. Lock the door. Get that. That's cat. Because her sister stepped up for herself. One thing about a black woman, I don't care who she's not dealing with. No. Why you think we scared of it?
DJ Envy
That's right.
Charlamagne Tha God
But I just want to shout out to everybody out there that's doing anything. And I need to say this to you. I don't care if you got a wood I stand. You got a T shirt company. You got a putting a tape out, music. You don't art you one. Yes. Away from your world changing. Stop looking on Instagram and thinking everybody's beating you and you running late, and you ain't enough. And I want to say something to the sisters out there. You are enough. Don't never let nobody finesse you. Don't tell you that. You got to be this. And you got to have this. You got to wear this. You got to go here, you got to take. Live your life, do you in every way possible. And to them young brothers out there, y'all kings. Y'all ain't slaves. What y'all got to do is y'all gotta understand y'all the most fearless group of young men ever on the history of life. This generation right now.
DJ Envy
That's right.
Charlamagne Tha God
Is the most fearless black men ever. Y'all do not give off. Just imagine if y'all switch that up. Imagine what you could do when you go. When you say, you know what? I don't want to be a drug dealer. I want to be a businessman. I don't want to be a killer. I want to be a healer. I want to be a giver. I'm saying it could change. And to my young brothers in the rap community, stay away from them drugs, man. And this coming from a man that never did a drug a day in his life. I never did it because I had to watch my homies. I had to make sure they get home at night. And my homies smoke, you know, they. They didn't smoke. Pcp, did all that type of, you know, to snort a little coke, you know, did a little bit of. But I always watch, and I said, that ain't for me. And I don't know who told you this. If you feel as though you're going through somebody, find somebody to talk to. Get a therapist, go to therapy, man. Get a therapist. Stop trying to self medicate yourself because you don't know what you're doing. And I'm gonna tell you something, brothers. When you hit a town, you young brothers, and I'm gonna be real with you. Everybody is trying their way to get some drugs to you. And you don't know if anybody. Drugs is drugs. I'm just being straight up. I don't know. You know what I mean? I'm just saying, you got job. All these people making fake this, fake this. You don't know what you're taking. And when you get that money, young brothers, stay out of. Don't stay off them handcuffs, man, please, please, man, don't disrespect your blessing, because God ain't gonna keep blessing you, man. You think, Listen, God got to work with billions of people. You think God could just keep coming around blessing you. God ain't gonna keep blessing you. Take advantage of these blessings, Keep doing your thing. And just know, anytime you see don't stop me. I'm gonna say something to you. I'm gonna tell you what's going on. And a lot of y'all know I reach out. I DM y'all. I talk to y'all regular man. Just notice you kings, notice you queens, and know that the world is waiting for all of us.
DJ Envy
Listen, Armed with good intentions is out now, man. Everybody go pick this book up from Wallow. We got to make this a New York Times best seller. You see it when? Oh, today. Tonight we're gonna be at Uncle Bobby's in Philadelphia. Me and my man Wallow having more conversations. Yes. About this book. Armed with a good intention.
Charlamagne Tha God
Make sure we get you stopped yet, my man Spy. Make sure to give you them cheese sticks you like them taste cheese sticks.
DJ Envy
I had some joints up there when I was there last time.
Charlamagne Tha God
Yeah, you like.
DJ Envy
You was.
Charlamagne Tha God
You was hungry, too, the way you ate him. Damn. Oh, no.
DJ Envy
Yeah, the spot that got like the sand.
Charlamagne Tha God
Oh, yeah.
DJ Envy
Yes. Cheesecake taste. Salute to taste. Yeah.
Charlamagne Tha God
Type of oxtail cheese going crazy n.
DJ Envy
I like that type of stuff.
Charlamagne Tha God
Yeah, but you know and find. You find your way to support local businesses. That's right.
DJ Envy
Wallow. A New York Times bestseller. I can't wait to see Wallow on tamarind and all that stuff, all that.
Charlamagne Tha God
Hold up. We got to. Also, if you out there, if you have any hair coloring companies, DJ Envy is looking for a sponsor.
Just Hilarious
Ladies and gentlemen, Goodbye, Wallow. All my good intentions is out right now. Pick it up. It's the Breakfast Club. Good morning.
DJ Envy
I never heard no donkey the other day.
Just Hilarious
What is it? Say it again.
Charlamagne Tha God
Charlamagne. I'm a donkey.
DJ Envy
Yes, you are a donkey.
Charlamagne Tha God
And it's true.
DJ Envy
Yes. Donkey today goes to Reginald Reynolds and Mia Bagen Stos. I'm sure I pronounced that name wrong, but we can call her Mia Bag and dope. They are 35 and 37 years old. Respectfully, they are from Portland, Oregon. And I don't know why, when I saw this story today, I thought to myself, either I'm experiencing deja vu, or I've done this story before. But I figured out the issue. The issue is there is this bag that people buy, and the bag says things about drugs on it. This particular. In this particular case, Reginald and Mia had a bag that said definitely not a bag full of drugs. That's what it said on the bag. Definitely not a bag full of drugs. Now, if I was a police officer or any type of law enforcement, and there was a bag in your car that said definitely not a bag full of drugs, guess what bag I'm gonna probably search first. Now, granted, I wouldn't actually believe someone is stupid enough to have a bag full of drugs in a bag labeled bag full of drugs. But this is. This is IRF. Okay, 2024. Whatever level of stupidity your brain can conceive, there is a donkey on this planet who can achieve. Let's go to ABC10 for the report, please. Tonight, we're looking into a story that seems hard to believe. It claims a couple was arrested after officers found drugs in a bag that had definitely not a bag full of drugs printed on it. And, folks, this one is true. The Portland police bureau in Oregon. Look at this. Posted this picture on social media. They say they discovered the bag along with cash, a gun, and scales during a traffic stop Tuesday. Inside the bag, you guessed it, they found more than 10 grams of fentanyl and meth. Yeah, the couple was booked on drug charges along with unauthorized use of a vehicle and possession of a stolen vehicle. See some of these donkeys be layered. Why would you be riding dirty in a stolen car? Can you please commit to one crime at a time? Do you simultaneously have to be committing multiple felony offenses? And if you're going to be in a stolen car, would a Ford Taurus ignition has been visibly tampered with with. Why would you have baggies of drugs just visible in a stolen car? Not to mention you got this big brown canvas bag labeled definitely not a bag full of drugs. And in that bag, and in that bag was 79 blue fentanyl pills, three fake. What, like your mouth water just.
Just Hilarious
You heard it like, that's crazy.
DJ Envy
Are you doing in Delaware three fake oxycodone tablets and 230 grams of meth, not to mention a loaded.38. I know I wrote a book called get on us to die, but damn. Okay, Reginald and Mia, you know, they. They probably was telling the officers, like, look, officer, we're just practicing radical honesty. You know, transparency in crime is a new movement. And that officer was like, thank you for making my job easier. By the way, this transparency and crime movement still comes with 15 years to life. Now, I know what some of you might be thinking. Is Oregon. Aren't drugs legal in Oregon? Well, in 2020, Oregon decriminalized the possession of small amounts of hard drugs in an effort to redirect city funding from criminalization. And toward treatment of substance use disorders. The measure passed with high levels of public support that faltered as overdose and homelessness rates rose in the state during the COVID 19 pandemic, when Rihanna makeup became widely available. But in September, the state recriminalized drug possession. So the moral of the story is, all of this was illegal. Okay? There is absolutely no right way to do the wrong thing, even in Oregon. And everything Reginald and Mia did was completely wrong. Okay? Reginald and Mia might be the first criminals in the history of crime who actually labeled the evidence for the police. And I know they thought labeling it not a bag full of drugs would throw people off. Like, there is no way folks would think they were that dumb. But it's not about what we think. It's about what you know about yourself. Reginald and Mia, okay? You had to know that you are indeed that domestic. Please give Reginald Reynolds and Mia bagginstos the sweet sounds and the Hamiltones.
Charlamagne Tha God
Of the day.
Just Hilarious
Ye are.
DJ Envy
That is ridiculous.
James
I have a question.
DJ Envy
That's like Lauren wearing a t shirt that says definitely not single. What'd you say?
James
Or like you wearing a t shirt saying definitely healed because it's a journey. Oh, is it?
DJ Envy
It's a process.
Just Hilarious
Yeah.
Dr. Cheyenne Bryant
So it's mine.
Just Hilarious
Okay, girls. Okay, girls. What is your question? Laura?
James
I'm feeling like with nene and Portia, and guess who's nene?
DJ Envy
I love to be Portia. Drop on the clues. Bombs with Portia.
Just Hilarious
You just helped him out.
DJ Envy
Thank you very much.
Just Hilarious
You just helped him out.
DJ Envy
That is absolutely my. Portia's my girl.
James
But everybody knows that the real cat, like the the comebacks, is nene with Portia. It's the house that Nene leakes built. But anyway, my question before I was rudely interrupted.
DJ Envy
Yes, ma'am.
James
Is this not entrapment, though? Because why would you be allowed to sell a bag that says definitely not drugs, knowing that someone might put drugs in it? Because they think it's, like, funny or something.
DJ Envy
Because there's this thing called satire. And so whoever made that bag was just making it probably just to be funny. And they knew that, you know, people would walk around with the bug as just, like, up the bag as like, a fashion statement, but they didn't think they'd actually put drugs inside of it.
Just Hilarious
You got a birkin. What does it say on your Birkin?
James
Not fake. Yes, you fake like this birkin. Shout out to sonic Saturdays. You fake like this birkin. But that has nothing.
Just Hilarious
I hate this place.
Dr. Cheyenne Bryant
I just.
James
That was shade. That was a whole tree who you over there planting today, baby? Feet in the soil.
Just Hilarious
All right, guys. All right, gals.
Charlamagne Tha God
All right.
Lola LaRosa
Don't worry.
James
I got the new Bob and I got some. I'm ready.
DJ Envy
The Breakfast Club.
Just Hilarious
Morning, everybody. It's DJ Envy Charlemagne, the guy. We are the Breakfast Club. We got a special guest in the building.
DJ Envy
My guy.
Just Hilarious
He's an author. New York Times best selling author. He's a entrepreneur. He is a podcast host, and now he is a model as well. Ladies and gentlemen, Jay Shetty.
Sandra, the Haitian therapist
A model.
Just Hilarious
A model.
DJ Envy
By the way, Jay Shetty is more than a podcast host. He has one of the top 10 biggest podcasts in the world.
Just Hilarious
That's right.
DJ Envy
Okay. I think that's very important to note because everybody got a podcast. Okay, Jay Shetty has one of the top 10 biggest podcasts in the world. What is it? Number five, I think.
Sandra, the Haitian therapist
I think so. That's on Spotify. I think that's what it came out as. But no. Thank you for having me, guys. I love being here with you guys. I'm so grateful to. To be back with you. Congrats on the new studio.
Charlamagne Tha God
Thank you.
Sandra, the Haitian therapist
I know it's not new for your viewers, but it's new for me being in here with you. But thank you. Thank you, guys.
DJ Envy
You just sat down with first lady Michelle Obama. Conversation was everywhere. Right. And she expressed how terrified she was about this election year. What was it like hearing that from her? And how do you process that? Does that give you anxiety when you hear that?
Sandra, the Haitian therapist
Yeah, it's an interesting thought process because I can't vote in this country. I moved here eight years ago. I have a green card, but I don't, you know, I don't have voting rights. And I moved here the year Trump became president in 2016. And so I've had an interesting education in the United States and I haven't, you know, I didn't grow up learning American history or American politics. So I'm also very uneducated in this, in that space specifically. I think for me, I.
Just Hilarious
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Sandra, the Haitian therapist
Look at most things as things I can and can't control. And when I think about things that make me anxious on a global scale, I often ask myself, what is the root of that anxiety in my community? So if I'm seeing whether it's ignorance, whether it's a lack of understanding, whether it's a lack of curiosity, openness, compassion on a global scale, I'm asking myself, where does that exist within me and my friends and my society? And how do I start impacting that? Because that I can control. And so I've been practicing that for a long time because I feel that there's a lot of things that give me anxiety. Like there's a lot of things that can stress me out. There's something new in the news every day that can do that. So to me, I try and bring down global events into the personal and intimate because otherwise it's so chaotic and so hard to deal with.
DJ Envy
How many times do you, I mean, how often have you broken your own eight rules of love?
Sandra, the Haitian therapist
Oh, every day. Every day, Every day. I don't think it's, you know, it goes back to that, how can I heal someone? I'm still healing myself. And it goes to the reality of, and I think we all know this at this table, everything in life is a process, right? Like, even if you took something really tangible, like we say this person is rich, we talk about them as if they can never lose it and that will always be theirs. That's actually not true. People could lose all their money. We talk about someone being famous, you could lose that. So, so in the same way, healing, progress, development, you can lose it. And I think we've got so lost in that destination addiction, the belief that you get to a point from which there is no return. And I think that destination addiction is really misleading in the wellness space because we feel like, oh, now I'm healed. And I think it comes from this idea of, if you think about it, right, social media is Full of before and after pictures. This is where I used to be. Look at where I am now, right? And it's always like saying, I used to be in a bad place. Now I'm in a great place.
DJ Envy
No process, though.
Sandra, the Haitian therapist
No process. And linear. When the real life life is this every day, it's just cyclical. And I think we've made our minds feel that journeys are linear. It's like A to B, like going from LA to New York or New York to la, it's linear. But we know that life is so much more cyclical. And so, yes, I've broken the eight rules of love every day, every week of my life.
DJ Envy
One of the things you said, man, that I think is so important that I want, want people to really get from this, if they don't get nothing else from this conversation is like, there's no manual for any of this. So you're not gonna be the perfect husband, you're not gonna be the perfect father. I spend so much time simply apologizing to my wife and apologizing to my kids because I don't ever want them to think that I'm trying to come off as some perfect human who never gets anything wrong.
Sandra, the Haitian therapist
Right.
DJ Envy
And I think that is, that's very important. Important to do. And just being present, like when you're, when you're, when your wife calls you, your child calls you, even if you in that moment, you weren't present. I'm. As soon as I'm done, whatever I'm doing, I'm so sorry that, you know, I had to do that, but I had to go do X, Y and Z in that moment.
Sandra, the Haitian therapist
Yeah, absolutely. And I think, I think the thing about the point you just made, and, and I hope this is what someone takes away from this as well, is I think a lot of us, in our minds, when we do introspect, we're quite heavy and harsh on ourselves. I think a lot of people are walking around with a internal, inner critical voice that is completely making them feel terrible. And so when anyone says something externally, it's worse. And I just want to remind people that you can't hate yourself into change. Like, you can't guilt yourself into growth. You can't blame yourself into a breakthrough. When was the last time you changed who you were because someone hated you? Never. When was the last time you supported someone you hate deeply? So if you're hating, blaming, guilting yourself, it may get you started, but it won't get you there. And so anyone who's giving themselves a hard Time. I'm not saying to give yourself an easy time, but that inner grace, that inner forgiveness is such an important part of you actually becoming better. So you're not doing it because you're trying to take it easy on yourself. You're doing it because it's going to let you get through the hard times.
Just Hilarious
The. The most important thing, I think, for a lot of people is back to what you said with forgiveness and grace. Right. A lot of things that we do is learn behavior. Right. Why do people pop their children? Usually because they got popped as a child. A lot of the things that we learned and were taught were up.
Sandra, the Haitian therapist
Yeah. There's that famous quote you just reminded me of that says by the time you realize that your parents are right, your kids are telling you that you're wrong, and it's that awkward position that we end up in, and. But you know what's really interesting about that? I was talking to someone about this at dinner last night, and there's this old story that I heard a while ago, and it's always resonated with me, even. Even with my own childhood. Not in particular, but in essence. So the story goes that these two men were interviewed, and one was an alcoholic, and the other one had never drunk alcohol, and they were brothers, and they interviewed them, and then they asked the one who drank alcohol and was an alcoholic. He said, why are you an alcoholic? He said, my dad was an alcoholic. And then they asked the other brother, why don't you drink? And he said, my dad was an alcoholic. And so I think a lot of us got an education in what not to do, but we ended up repeating it instead of breaking the cycle. And I feel like in my life, I had to. I got a great education in a lot of my areas of life in what not to do and who not to be. And I took all those little notes down, and I think that's what's improved my life. So I think if we're constantly waiting for the perfect example and the perfect. Perfect space and the perfect surroundings and the perfect aunt and uncle and the perfect parent, it's like we may be waiting forever because no one's perfect. So we almost have to make a list of what not to do, but what not to do, but also how to.
DJ Envy
That's why podcasts, like, on purpose is so important. That's why podcasts like, you know, Debbie Brown deeply well is so important, because we learn how to, you know, break. Break a lot of these cycles.
Sandra, the Haitian therapist
Absolutely.
Just Hilarious
All right, we got more with Jay Shetty when We come back. Keep it locked. It's the Breakfast Club. Good morning. Morning, everybody. It's DJ Envy. Charlemagne Guy. We are the Breakfast Club. We're still kicking it with Jay Shetty Charlamagne.
DJ Envy
Are you wearing Gap right now?
Sandra, the Haitian therapist
No, not right now.
DJ Envy
Okay. I'm just asking.
Sandra, the Haitian therapist
No, cuz you saw that. You saw that.
DJ Envy
I saw a Gap campaign. That's.
Just Hilarious
I called you a model earlier.
Dr. Cheyenne Bryant
You did the Gap.
Sandra, the Haitian therapist
That's why. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
DJ Envy
You thought he just thought you was handsome.
Sandra, the Haitian therapist
I was like, all right, DJ Envy. There's, you know. All right, you know, I wasn't expecting that from you, but thank you, man. I appreciate it.
DJ Envy
No, you and your wife did a holiday. Holiday Gap camping.
Sandra, the Haitian therapist
Yeah, yeah, we were just, you know, when we got asked to do that, it was like, we couldn't believe it. We're like, what is this? You know, like, we grew up watching the Gap campaigns, like, the holiday campaigns especially. And any. I've said to my wife, anytime I get to do any work with her is my favorite thing because I get to hang with her all day. And so that shoot was fun. They made it fun. The creative team was fantastic. Like, it was a good time. We walked out of there having had. Having had a great day. So. So, yeah, it was a lot of fun. And then it was. It was surreal because, you know. Yeah, definitely never been a model.
DJ Envy
So I wanted to ask you too, do you get pushback from people who watch you sit down with a Michelle Obama or a Jada Pinkett Smith? Why didn't you challenge them on this? Why didn't you challenge them on that?
Sandra, the Haitian therapist
Yeah, I don't get pushback for not challenging people because I think the questions I ask are challenging in a different way. But I think I'll get pushback because someone doesn't like that person.
DJ Envy
Yeah.
Sandra, the Haitian therapist
But what I found every single time is that when someone actually listens to the episode or watches it on YouTube, if you look at that comment section, it is spectacular. Like when someone's actually taken out time out of the day to listen for an hour or watch for an hour, and then you see the comment section, you'll see people having complete. I had people reaching out about both those episodes, the President Biden interview as well that we did earlier last year, and the comments of people who actually listened to it. And by the way, a lot of people were like, hey, I don't agree with this person's politics. I'm actually on completely on the other side. But I just want you to know that listening to this Interview was so enlightening from a human perspective. Thank you for putting it out there. And I respect that approach because I think that's why I do the interview. I don't do the interview for any other reason apart from us looking at the broken mirror and looking back and saying, okay, where can I resonate with the humanity of this individual or, or where can I relate to this person? So, yeah, I think that's generally the pushback. But the comment section, I encourage you on those episodes to go look at the YouTube comment section. It's phenomenal to read what people are getting.
DJ Envy
Yeah. Cause I think your conversation with Jada Pinkett Smith, the clips, is what set off the Jada Pinkett hate train. Not because of you. You know what I mean? But if you didn't watch the whole conversation in context and you just saw clips, she got a attack.
Sandra, the Haitian therapist
Yeah. And Jada's a dear friend for me. So it's. Yeah, it's, It's a tough one because I think any clip about anyone. I, I said, I had someone say this to me today. Yesterday they said to me, jay, they'd met me for the first time. And they were like, jay, you're so much nicer in person. I didn't like you off of your Instagram. And I was like, fair enough. Like, that's cool. But it's like, it's so hard for me to be all of myself in 30 seconds. And I'm trying my best. You're trying your best. You're trying your best, but it's hard for any of us.
DJ Envy
Like, nothing like about you on Instagram. You're in the kitchen with your wife.
Sandra, the Haitian therapist
No.
DJ Envy
You got puppies licking your face.
Sandra, the Haitian therapist
No. In the sense of. I think he was just like, you know, I feel like you feel a bit like whatever it was, like, whatever his. I don't even know what it was. But I think all of us, if you judged any of us off a 30 second reel. Oh, I'm sure all of us would agree it's not who we are, you know, so. And that's why I do stuff with my wife. Because I feel I'm most myself when I'm with my wife.
DJ Envy
Wife.
Sandra, the Haitian therapist
Because naturally it's the person I spend the most time with. And so. But even with, even with all of us, like, I've got to meet you guys in person a few times now. We were in Cannes with Iheart on. On, you know, for the festival last year together. And I think when you've met people in person, that's the Only time you're gonna feel like you've got to know them. I don't think anyone unders. I feel like if someone, if someone, okay, if someone follows me on Instagram, they understand maybe 10% of who I am. If they listen to my podcast, they probably understand 75% of who I am because they're really dialing into who I am. If they've read my books and my podcast, they're probably like at that 89%. If they've seen me live, they're at the 95%. And then when someone's met me in person, it's 100%. And so I think it's all percentages. And I, you know, I hope that we all again, going back to forgiveness and grace. I hope that we can all give each other a bit more benefit of the doubt, because I think it will go a long way for people.
DJ Envy
You say language has created the word loneliness to express the pain of being alone. And it has created the word solitude to express the glory of being alone. Could you, could you expound on that?
Sandra, the Haitian therapist
Yeah, it's a Paul Tillich quote. The writer Paul Tillich shared that and to me, I extrapolated from his work for my book because I was realizing that language and the way we use words completely defines how we think about things. So when you hear the word loneliness, you think sadness, you think potentially depression, you think negativity. Of course, solitude is spending time alone with yourself, but with strength, with courage, as Paul Tillich says, glory. So what I've realized is we've got to be so careful with the language we use in our minds. Every single word is a seed for either a weed or a flower.
DJ Envy
That's right.
Sandra, the Haitian therapist
And so every single word that you say is defining. So if I keep saying, I'm lonely, lonely, I'm lonely, I'm lonely, that's going to impact how I feel. But if I say I'm in solitude, all of a sudden, there's a strength that comes with that. And so I just want to encourage people to recognize that being alone doesn't have to be a weakness. It can be a time of strength and self awareness and personal growth, but it is about the language that we use with ourselves. And so I would ask everyone to this one activity. Think about the one word that comes to your mind the moment you wake up, up, or the moment you go to sleep. Make that word a word that you want it to be. Don't let the word you go to sleep with, and don't let the word you wake up with be a word that makes you feel negative, unhealthy, or weak. Because those studies Show we have 60 to 80,000 thoughts per day, and 80% of them are negative and 80% of them are repetitive, which means you're having the same negative word or thought repeating. It's not like we're having lots of different thoughts. Thoughts. It's the same thought. Now, you can't control 60 to 80,000 thoughts, but you can control two thoughts of the day. So just master the first thought of the day and the last thought of the day and make it a thought and a word that you want it to be.
DJ Envy
I wonder when that study was done. I wonder, was it before social media or after? Because I feel like with social media, it's probably triple that.
Sandra, the Haitian therapist
Yeah, I probably read it that. That stat.
Charlamagne Tha God
Probably.
Sandra, the Haitian therapist
I read in the last three to four years. So I guess while social media is around. But yeah, I mean, now it could have totally tripled. But it's interesting because it's the same thought often.
DJ Envy
Yeah, right.
Sandra, the Haitian therapist
It's a lot of the time we keep saying the same, I'm so tired. I'm so tired. That thought could last a year. Or like, oh, God, I'm so scared at work. I'm so anxious. That could last a year.
DJ Envy
So one more thing.
Sandra, the Haitian therapist
Yeah, man.
DJ Envy
Is there anything Jay Shetty hates?
Just Hilarious
Ooh.
Sandra, the Haitian therapist
The answer is I don't. Because I think hate, personally, collectively, individually, doesn't lead to greatness.
DJ Envy
What about the Notebook? You hate the Notebook.
Sandra, the Haitian therapist
I don't hate the Notebook, but I have heard, I have thoughts about the Notebook. Charlemagne. I don't hate the number. I find it hilarious as to how many. And I was like, I said, I'm a hopeless romantic. I've been like that my whole life because I grew up watching Hollywood movies thinking that that's how I was meant to fall in love. I was that dumb person who fell for that. And now I've read about something that they call Disney Princess Syndrome, where people walk around, like, feeling like they're gonna be saved by their partner. Like, you're gonna have a knight in shining armor who's gonna come in and rescue you. I think there's Disney Prince syndrome as well, where we want to go and save someone, and we want to be the be all and end all of everything. So the Notebook just has some really questionable lines. So, yeah, I don't hate the Notebook.
Just Hilarious
Well, Jay Shetty, ladies and gentlemen.
DJ Envy
Where can they follow you? Jay, Tell them.
Sandra, the Haitian therapist
Come and check out the podcast on purpose. It's where I'm pouring my heart and soul and you know, excited to share so many more amazing, maybe thought provoking, maybe even pushing you slightly conversations to come and join us at on purpose.
DJ Envy
And his latest book was eight Rules of Love that came came out last year how to Find It, Keep it and Let It Go. You got any a new book coming or you.
Sandra, the Haitian therapist
No, no, no. This was just I was just excited to be back with you and hanging and actually do you know what? Sometimes I love these conversations because I came here not knowing where it was going to go and then you guys just guided beautifully. So this was wonderful, man. Thank you guys.
Just Hilarious
Jay Shetty, it's the Breakfast Club. Good morning, the Breakfast Club. Morning, everybody. It's DJ Envy. Jess. Hilarious Charlamagne Tha God. We are the Breakfast Club. But leave us on a positive note.
DJ Envy
The positive note is this maturity is when you know the other person is lying, but you just smile and let it go.
Just Hilarious
Breakfast Club, you don't finish or y'all done?
Podcast Summary: The Breakfast Club BEST OF - Self Help - Dr. Cheyenne Bryant, Wallow, Jay Shetty + More
Podcast Information:
In this special "Best Of" episode of The Breakfast Club, hosts DJ Envy and Charlamagne Tha God delve into the theme of self-help, featuring insightful conversations with prominent guests Dr. Cheyenne Bryant, Wallow, and Jay Shetty. The episode explores personal growth, mental health, relationships, and societal issues, offering listeners valuable perspectives and actionable advice.
The episode kicks off with the energetic banter of DJ Envy and Charlamagne Tha God, setting a lively tone. They introduce the theme of self-help and announce their special guests:
Caller Interaction:
The hosts engage with callers seeking advice on personal relationships. One notable interaction involves Tamika from Westchester, who shares her frustration about being wrongfully accused of stalking by her boyfriend’s side girlfriend. The conversation highlights issues of trust, emotional well-being, and self-worth.
"I have nothing to do with his other relationships. And I'm being accused of being a random girl stalker. Why would you notice her?"
Hosts' Advice:
DJ Envy and Charlamagne offer supportive yet candid advice, emphasizing self-respect and the importance of leaving toxic relationships.
"You deserve better than that. But he did keep it 100 with you from the beginning."
Introduction of Dr. Cheyenne Bryant (08:41 - 08:56):
DJ Envy commends Dr. Bryant for leveraging social media to elevate conversations around mental health, recognizing her commitment to improving emotional and mental well-being in the community.
Dr. Bryant's Journey and Expertise (08:56 - 12:15):
Dr. Bryant shares her transition from a marriage and family therapist working with court-ordered clients to becoming a psychology expert and life coach. She emphasizes her hybrid approach combining therapy with coaching, aiming to address both trauma and personal growth.
"I do psychodynamic CBT, but I couple it, which is my hybrid approach with coaching. So it's therapy and coaching, which is hybrid."
Discussion on Confidentiality in Therapy (11:17 - 12:15):
A caller inquires about the confidentiality of therapy sessions, referencing the Mendez brothers' case. Dr. Bryant clarifies that therapists are bound by confidentiality except in cases of imminent harm.
"A therapist is only under confidential oath, unless you are threatening to kill yourself and someone else."
Debunking Myths and Addressing Criticisms (25:17 - 27:07):
Dr. Bryant addresses rumors and criticisms regarding her credentials and past appearances, reaffirming her qualifications and passion for mental health advocacy.
"I have four degrees. Three are in psychology. One's in Pan African Studies. My doctorate degree is in counseling psychology."
Promoting Positive Mental Health Practices (27:07 - 25:17):
Dr. Bryant discusses the importance of accountability, emotional regulation, and self-forgiveness in personal development. She also touches on societal expectations and the stigma surrounding mental health.
"You can't hate yourself into change. Like, you can't guilt yourself into growth. You can't blame yourself into a breakthrough."
Introduction of Wallow (58:13 - 64:10):
Wallow, a multifaceted individual with experiences ranging from incarceration to entrepreneurship, joins the show. He discusses his journey of reinvention and the importance of personal responsibility and self-love.
Wallow's Transformation Story (34:20 - 39:14):
Charlamagne delves into Wallow's past, including his 20 years of incarceration and his efforts to educate himself and others during his time in prison. Wallow emphasizes the power of self-education and positive intention in overcoming adversity.
"I did mine. I was accountable for my actions."
Impact of Positive Role Models and Community Support (39:14 - 46:19):
Wallow highlights the significance of strong female influences in his life and the role of community support in his transformation. He advocates for local business support and the upliftment of the Black community through mutual respect and encouragement.
"You gotta love who loves you, and you better figure out who loves you and who got your back."
Promoting Self-Improvement and Rejecting Negative Stereotypes (46:19 - 58:13):
The conversation turns to societal perceptions and the importance of redefining success beyond materialism and criminal stereotypes. Wallow encourages listeners to pursue positive change and reject destructive behaviors.
"Everything is about the messaging because I can't speak on behalf of different races..."
Wallow's New Book and Messages (57:24 - 58:13):
Wallow promotes his book, Armed with Good Intentions, urging listeners to embrace personal growth and community upliftment. He shares anecdotes from his time in prison, emphasizing accountability and resilience.
"Armed with Good Intentions is out now. Everybody go pick this book up from Wallow."
Introduction of Jay Shetty (64:10 - 64:36):
Jay Shetty, renowned for his motivational content and influential podcast, makes an appearance. The hosts welcome him, highlighting his achievements and his role in the self-help community.
Jay Shetty's Insights on Leadership and Personal Growth (64:36 - 70:44):
Jay discusses the importance of authenticity, emotional intelligence, and continuous self-improvement. He shares strategies for overcoming personal challenges and fostering meaningful relationships.
"We have to be so careful with the language we use in our minds. Every single word is a seed for either a weed or a flower."
The Power of Language in Mental Health (70:44 - 78:01):
Shetty elaborates on how language shapes our perceptions and mental states. He encourages listeners to adopt positive language to foster resilience and personal growth.
"The word loneliness to express the pain of being alone has created a negative connotation, whereas solitude can be seen as a time of strength and self-awareness."
Encouraging Self-Forgiveness and Grace (78:01 - 81:19):
The discussion shifts to the importance of self-forgiveness and the role it plays in healing and personal development. Jay emphasizes that growth is a non-linear process and that embracing imperfections is crucial for true progress.
"If you're hating, blaming, guilting yourself, it may get you started, but it won't get you there. Inner grace and forgiveness are essential."
The episode wraps up with final thoughts from the hosts, reinforcing the themes of self-help, mental health, and personal accountability. They encourage listeners to engage with the discussed resources, including books and podcasts, to continue their journey of self-improvement.
Key Takeaways:
Notable Quotes:
"You can't hate yourself into change. Like, you can't guilt yourself into growth."
"I did mine. I was accountable for my actions."
"The word loneliness to express the pain of being alone has created a negative connotation, whereas solitude can be seen as a time of strength and self-awareness."
Resources Mentioned:
Final Encouragement: The hosts leave listeners with a message of empowerment and the encouragement to take proactive steps towards personal growth and mental well-being.
"Keep it locked. It's The Breakfast Club. Good morning."
Note: This summary captures the essence of the discussions and key points from the episode, providing a comprehensive overview for those who have not listened to it.