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DJ Envy
This is an iHeart podcast.
Charlamagne tha God
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Jess Hilarious
Panoramic moonroof, ambient lighting, bows and massaging leather. Appointed seats are optional features.
Lauren LaRosa
Okay, I got some good news and I've got some great news. The good news is that Amazon Prime Day is almost here. The great news this year, prime day will last four days from July 8th to the 11th. We're talking about four days of unbelievable deals in every category you can think of. So this is your chance to save big on, well, whatever you're into. Tools, appliances, clothes, toys, everything. The countdown is on. Shop Prime Day, July 8th to the 11th.
Charlamagne tha God
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Tank
Taking control of your career is empowering.
Lauren LaRosa
Just don't tell my boss I said that.
Tank
Building a career isn't just about a job.
Lauren LaRosa
It's about creating a path that impacts.
Tank
Our community and future generations. Whether you're starting out or making big moves, State Farm is here to support you with resources to help protect what you're working hard to achieve. They've got your back every step of.
Lauren LaRosa
The way because like a good neighbor.
Tank
State Farm is there. Find out more@stateforum.com I like what y' all are doing because y' all all.
Mel Robbins
And it has impact, you know, and.
Dawn Staley
People hold on to some of these.
Charlamagne tha God
Gems y' all made, y'.
Dawn Staley
All.
Lauren LaRosa
Mark man, made it. Hey bro, I'm on Breakfast Club.
Charlamagne tha God
I'm Feeling like I've made it right now.
DJ Envy
I love you guys.
Mel Robbins
You guys are amazing people.
Charlamagne tha God
Watch the Breakfast Club for news and.
Lauren LaRosa
Really be tuned in.
Charlamagne tha God
Your interviews are quite challenging.
Dawn Staley
Yeah, somebody got to do it.
Charlamagne tha God
It's like I watch y' all show in the morning. Like, you guys are the voices of the morning.
Lauren LaRosa
Dj.
Tank
Envy, Jess, Hilarious.
Lauren LaRosa
Charlemagne, the God everyone just kept telling me to prep for this crazy, scary, spooky, hilarious. Crazy, scary, spooky, hilarious. It's a new day.
Tank
This is your time to get it off your chest.
Lauren LaRosa
Wa.
Charlamagne tha God
Wake up.
Tank
Whether you're mad or blessed, it's time.
Lauren LaRosa
To get up and get something.
Tank
Call up now.
Charlamagne tha God
800-585-1051.
Tank
We want to hear from you on the Breakfast Club.
Charlamagne tha God
Hello? Who's this?
Monique
Monique, how are you?
Charlamagne tha God
Good morning, Mama. Get it off your chest.
Monique
I should have said anonymous, but it's too late now.
Charlamagne tha God
Definitely too late. What's up?
Lauren LaRosa
You notice the radio? Can't nobody see you. So you can call up here and be like, my name's Sally.
Monique
I get it. But what I'm about to say, everybody.
Lauren LaRosa
Gonna know to do. Go in, forget.
Charlamagne tha God
Just say it. Go for it.
Lauren LaRosa
I do it all the time.
Monique
Envy and Charlemagne. I know you probably don't remember, but about a year ago, I got you on the radio, and I was fussing on the phone with my. With my boo, and y' all was like, put him on the phone. I was like, nah, he. He on the other phone. So I couldn't do it, But I need him to leave me alone now.
Lauren LaRosa
Damn.
Charlamagne tha God
Damn. Before you wanted him, now it's over. It's a rap.
Monique
You said what I said before you.
Charlamagne tha God
Wanted him, now it's a rap.
Monique
It's a rap. Like, leave it alone. Baltimore dudes are trash.
Lauren LaRosa
You said Baltimore dudes?
Charlamagne tha God
She sure did.
Monique
Yes.
Dawn Staley
And for real?
Monique
Yeah, for real.
Lauren LaRosa
For real. You don't agree with her?
Dawn Staley
Yeah, I agree with her. Damn.
Monique
So I need Joseph to leave me alone, to answer my phone. Don't text, call, don't switch, stop me on social media. Don't leave me alone. Let it go. It's over.
Lauren LaRosa
I would hope that y' all had this conversation before you called the radio.
Dawn Staley
Damn.
Monique
Say again?
Lauren LaRosa
I said I would hope that y' all would have this conversation before he called the radio.
Monique
Oh, well, I told him I had to tell him yesterday. I was like, leave me alone, dude. What happened to so many women?
Charlamagne tha God
Oh, he was cheating.
Monique
He just not. Yeah, he. He.
Lauren LaRosa
Well, listen, you can't be having unprotected sex with a Person and, you know.
Monique
Yeah, thank you. That's what I try to tell him. He don't.
Lauren LaRosa
It talk about you.
Charlamagne tha God
You.
Lauren LaRosa
It takes two to do that, man.
Monique
No, no, he's. No, he's the one that's having multiple.
Lauren LaRosa
Oh, got you. So he gave you a. He gave you a yeast infection or something.
Monique
Oh, well, we don't want to go.
Dawn Staley
There, but damn, I get it. All right.
Monique
You know what I'm saying? Like, yeah, like. And I live in another state. Like, if you want to go out and smash. He just smashed somebody with a condom.
Lauren LaRosa
That's cool.
Monique
Cause I'll never know.
Dawn Staley
So we caught you just passing through. That's how he got you.
Charlamagne tha God
What you get? What did you wind up getting?
Jess Hilarious
I'm sorry.
Monique
We ain't gonna go there.
Lauren LaRosa
Little chlamydia.
Dawn Staley
Hey, yeah.
Charlamagne tha God
A little.
Monique
Rabble dazzle.
Lauren LaRosa
Lil rap. That ain't funny.
Charlamagne tha God
I'm sorry, Mama. I'm so sorry for you.
Monique
Me, too. I gotta laugh about it so I.
Lauren LaRosa
Won'T cry about it. A little common case of chlamydia.
Charlamagne tha God
Is it curable?
Lauren LaRosa
Of course. Chlamydia curable.
Charlamagne tha God
Nah, I'm not talking about chlamydia. I'm talking about what she got. Is it curable?
Lauren LaRosa
She got chlamydia. She just told you.
Charlamagne tha God
Oh, I don't know what the razzle.
Lauren LaRosa
Dad, I don't know this.
Charlamagne tha God
Like, I don't know what razzle dazzle means.
Monique
It's definitely terrible, you know, but just throwing your stuff off, that's. That's normally what it is. Just throwing off the gate.
Lauren LaRosa
I get it.
Monique
You messing with some dirty girls.
Dawn Staley
Yeah.
Lauren LaRosa
Yeah.
Charlamagne tha God
Well, I'm sorry, mama.
Lauren LaRosa
We wish you the best. And I hope that he does leave you alone. I hope he falls all the way back. You just put him on blast. You put his whole name out there. Hopefully he leaves you alone.
Dawn Staley
And hopefully the girls that he listened, that's listening. He leave them alone, too, because they got the razzle dazzle too, then.
Lauren LaRosa
Damn.
Charlamagne tha God
Jesus.
Lauren LaRosa
Good morning. Who's this? Morning.
Uber Mike
Good morning. Breakfast Club, this is Uber Mike.
Lauren LaRosa
How y' all doing? Uber Mike. What's up, King?
Uber Mike
What's going on? Hey, Charlamagne, you always promoting your Black Effect podcast.
Lauren LaRosa
Yes, sir. Black Effect Podcast Network. Yeah. How can.
Uber Mike
How can. Because I have one. Just a few years on Spotify. How do I, like, unite with you talking about ride sharing and how to navigate, like, safety situations for drivers?
Lauren LaRosa
Damn, you should have been to the Black Effect Podcast Festival. You could have pitched your podcast at the Nissan Activation, man. They had a Picture podcast.
Uber Mike
I'll be there next year, I promise. Okay, Next year for sure.
Lauren LaRosa
Okay.
Uber Mike
But I just want to help drivers navigate because a lot of drivers can get killed. And how to navigate, you know, this is my stepping gear with over 25,000 trips, so, damn, I just want to, you know, like, give some options and stuff for drivers. How to move, how to navigate.
Lauren LaRosa
That's good information, man. Hit up Black Effects DM we got going on on Instagram at Black Effect. Hit up. Hit up that dm.
Uber Mike
Okay, I'll do that.
Lauren LaRosa
All right, brother.
Charlamagne tha God
Get it off your chest. 800-585-1051. If you need the event, hit us up now. It's the Breakfast Club. Good morning.
Lauren LaRosa
I'm D. Hey, what you doing, man?
Dawn Staley
I'm D. I'm calling you.
Tank
This is your time to get it off your chest, whether you're mad or blessed.
Charlamagne tha God
800-585-1051.
Tank
We want to hear from you on the Breakfast Club.
Charlamagne tha God
Hello? Who's this?
Monique
Hey, my name is Kelsey.
Charlamagne tha God
Hey, Kelsey. Good morning. Get her off. Good morning.
Monique
So I'm calling from Mad. Good morning, Jess. Good morning, DJ Envy. Good morning, Charlamagne. Oh, I'm so excited to call you guys. My daughter said this was lame for me to call it in and get off my chest, but anyways, I'm excited just to call into the radio, talk to you guys. I listen to you guys every morning on my way to work.
Dawn Staley
Okay, that's sweet.
Monique
Thank you.
Lauren LaRosa
Thank you very much.
Monique
So I'm calling to get off my chest. So it's very hard dating in Atlanta. I'm new to the area, so not only do I have to dodge, you know, the undercover, the DL men.
Lauren LaRosa
Oh, you smell the doodle in the pv. That is.
Monique
I have to dodge like, the princesses.
Lauren LaRosa
The studs, you know, the men that.
Monique
Want you to run after them.
Lauren LaRosa
Oh. Oh.
Monique
So I recently just kind of got blocked by this guy. So I guess, like, online dating is kind of, like, the way or another way to kind of get out there and see what you see. So I signed up on this app, had been talking to this guy online, just texting. We hadn't met in person or anything like that. Just texting. So I decided to do my little due diligence and look him up online just to kind of see if he really is who he say he is. And I guess he discovered that I looked him up online because after a good week of talking, nothing weird, nothing like that, he checked out to be who he was. He decided he was gonna Block me.
Dawn Staley
What did you do?
Monique
I didn't do nothing but look him up. I guess he discovered that I had went on his Instagram and I checked his LinkedIn. You gotta make sure he employed.
Lauren LaRosa
But how you know you did. How you know you did all that?
Charlamagne tha God
She probably looked at her story. You know, when you look on somebody's story, you can see their name.
Monique
Right. So I'm guessing he doesn't see me look at his stuff.
Lauren LaRosa
What's wrong with that?
Dawn Staley
But so what if you getting to know him?
Lauren LaRosa
Why would it matter?
Monique
Exactly. So I feel like he's being weird.
Charlamagne tha God
Oh, yeah.
Lauren LaRosa
Nah, he gay. What?
Charlamagne tha God
Yeah, he got another life.
Monique
I think he's hiding and he's not trying to tell me or something like that.
Charlamagne tha God
He might have a family. He ain't got to be gay.
Lauren LaRosa
Just he's in Atlanta.
Dawn Staley
My bad.
Lauren LaRosa
Okay. Bisexual sexual activity.
Monique
Right, right, right, right.
Lauren LaRosa
If you're using the proper contract.
Monique
He doesn't live in Atlanta. He's from Augusta. But still, same difference.
Dawn Staley
It's an hour or so away.
Lauren LaRosa
Yeah.
Dawn Staley
You certified bisexual.
Lauren LaRosa
Yeah. You come through, you come to Atlanta deed and drive back to Augusta. Nobody even know.
Monique
Right. This is crazy because I'm like, he ghosted me. He didn't say nothing. Like we had just like had a conversation on Friday. Saturday, I'm blocked.
Dawn Staley
What the. Either he got.
Charlamagne tha God
It's all good.
Dawn Staley
Either he got another family or he got a boyfriend.
Charlamagne tha God
I think he probably got another family, mama.
Lauren LaRosa
And it might be a family of boys.
Monique
I mean, but it's all good. It's all good.
Lauren LaRosa
It is all good.
Charlamagne tha God
Get it off your chest. 800-585-1051. If you need to vent, hit us up now. It's the Breakfast Club.
Tank
Good morning, the Breakfast Club.
Charlamagne tha God
Morning, everybody. It's DJ Envy. Jess. Hilarious Charlemagne, the guy. We are the breakfast club. Lauren LaRosa filling in for Jess. We got a special guest in the building.
Lauren LaRosa
Yes, indeed.
Charlamagne tha God
Seem like he trying to take our job, doing all these interviews and stuff. Ladies and gentlemen, we have R and B singer Tank.
Lauren LaRosa
Tank.
Tank
I'm not trying to take your job.
Lauren LaRosa
You're doing a phenomenal job.
Charlamagne tha God
Yes, you are. Yes, you are.
Tank
I am just catering to my people. I'm making sure that my community has a place to go, that the conversation is bridged from the old to the new.
Charlamagne tha God
I love it.
Lauren LaRosa
You know what I love about the RV Money podcast. There's always so many hip hop podcasts. And you know, the rappers got a place to go. The OG rappers got a place to go. R B Money has created that space for the R B world.
Tank
And now the R B Music Awards.
Lauren LaRosa
Oh, I didn't know about that.
Tank
Tell us about it.
Charlamagne tha God
What do you mean?
Tank
You guys have a dedicated hip hop. Not you. Hip hop has a dedicated award show.
Lauren LaRosa
Right.
Tank
Whereas the R and B dedicated award show so that we can cover the entire gambit of R and B. R and B is so many things. It's so vast. You can't cover it in two to three categories at some award show and think that that's going to do it all justice.
Lauren LaRosa
Oh, I want to hear about this now.
Charlamagne tha God
Are you creating this?
Lauren LaRosa
I want to know the category. As an R B icon like you are, what are the categories of R B? Because all we think is R and B.
Tank
Let's go. Soul. You get into the songwriter aspect of it, the producer aspect of it, even the performance aspect of it, you know?
DJ Envy
Yes.
Tank
All of these things are so different. Like a Jill Scott is way different from Summer Walker. From a Summer Walker. You know what I mean? It's way different. Calvin Richardson is way different from Chris Brown.
Lauren LaRosa
Right.
Tank
You know what I mean? And so how do we create these tiers and levels to where all of the nuances of R B can be recognized?
Lauren LaRosa
Give me an example of progressive.
Tank
Oh, CB is progressive.
Lauren LaRosa
Okay. Okay.
Tank
Completely. He's. He's. The current state of R B music. You know what I mean? Even if. Even if we want to say what. What Drake and Party just did. You know what I mean? That's very progressive R B. You know what I mean? If you want to say what is more traditional? I'm more in the middle of a traditional progressive R B artist because I can do a record with Chris Brown, but, you know, I can also do a record with God Rest His Soul and Angie Stone.
Lauren LaRosa
See, I like the traditional. And I said that when the Party and Drake album dropped, I was like, that ain't for me. And they was like, well, you know, it's for the ladies. Cause it's R and B. I'm like, no, guys like R and B. I just don't like that type of R and B.
Tank
Exactly, exactly. There's a difference. And so we have not had the conversation about all of these things together. We just say best R and B album. And then you got Chris Brown in the same category with Robert Glasper. It's like, how do you do that?
Lauren LaRosa
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Tank
We're not all just one thing.
Charlamagne tha God
So when are you doing this? Is it thought out to that where it's gonna happen?
Tank
It's been great conversations. You, me, and my brother Jay Valentine, we've actually had this conversation with Jesse Collins. And so, you know, all of this, what I'm doing right now is just kind of creating the anticipation and the desire and hopefully enough comments will come and people will see the value, because that's where it starts. People have to see the value in what we do in order to create this next level platform.
Lauren LaRosa
Well, don't leave Black effect. And I heart out the conversation. You know, I heart knowing to put together a good award show.
Tank
Well, what do you want to do?
Lauren LaRosa
I want to help with the RB Money award show. That'd be fantastic. There you go.
Tank
Done.
Charlamagne tha God
I want to know how is it for you. Right. Knowing all these R and B stories.
Lauren LaRosa
Right.
Charlamagne tha God
And I'm watching your podcast and I know you know the answers, but some of these times it hasn't been put out there and you're just feeding the person.
Lauren LaRosa
Right.
Charlamagne tha God
Like, I look at Stephen Hill with the Chris Brown situation. Yeah, you're leading him because you knew what happened. But making him explain the story was amazing.
Tank
I didn't know what happened, really. I didn't even know he was part of it. I knew from Chris's side that they had got him all the way to the point of where it was about to happen. It was about to happen, and then pulled the rug out from under him. I didn't know the intimate details and who all was involved. And hearing Steve, like, Stephen is like, you know, he loves. He loves that. Yeah, he loves it. He felt like he was getting ready to create one of the most iconic moments of all time.
Charlamagne tha God
And he was looking for that rehearsal. Jesus.
Tank
He was.
Charlamagne tha God
He was.
Tank
And it hurt him that now he, you know, has to go back and tell CB that it's not happening. You know what I mean? Like, that. That crushed him more than anything. And he was like, man, if you could ever talk to him, just let him know I. I love him. I want, you know, I wanted that for him. I just. They pulled it from me. Nothing I could do.
DJ Envy
I was going to ask that you put them on the phone after that because he said in your interview that they hadn't. He hadn't gotten a chance. Well, he wanted to see him in person to apologize and stuff like that.
Tank
So, no, we didn't. We didn't get a chance to make that happen. But. But I'd love to make that happen for him.
Lauren LaRosa
Another one of my favorite R and B Money podcasts recently was the L A Reid episode. Like, he really sparked a real Conversation. And it just had me thinking about, yes, you need. You need Black Boutique. Everything.
Tank
You need that we need to be able to operate the way we operate. Just let us do what we do. Like, even with what you guys do, you guys do what you do. Which is why it is what it is. There's nobody micromanaging or policing you. You get your paycheck, whatever that is, but it's because of how you do your thing. Nobody's interrupting that. Which is why it's what, how many years in the making?
Charlamagne tha God
15.
Lauren LaRosa
15.
Tank
Jesus Christ. Imagine if you had no control of that. You know what I mean? Imagine. Imagine you being subject to somebody else's ideas. Somebody else's. And then you lose with that. That hurts worse than anything. I lost listening to you. No, no. I'm gonna go down with me. I'm gonna go down with me. And that's what we've lost. We've lost the people that have done it. From here. I just believe, like, think about Dangelo's Untitled. If somebody just doesn't say, ah. I just. I just feel like this is different. They never get to the third single, which is a life changing record. Don't have that no more. Our analytics say we're losing here. We're done. We're gonna move on. Right.
Lauren LaRosa
Well, how does it feel? Wasn't the third single, was it? How does it feel with the third single? The Butt Naked video was his third single. Wow. I did not know that.
Tank
How do we not get to that? One of the greatest songs of all time.
Lauren LaRosa
I did not know that. Wow.
Tank
You know what I mean? Genuine. So anxious. If Jomo doesn't say, we gotta get to this moment, we gotta get to this one. This one right here is gonna change it. Trust me. Maybe I deserve was my second single. If we were just going off of first singles. I'm not gonna name the first song I had out, but I was dancing and flipping and blowing up.
Lauren LaRosa
Yeah, we'll take for a second because I remember. Maybe I deserved.
DJ Envy
I shouldn't have brought that up when you said it. I just heard the song, like Freaky.
Jess Hilarious
No, maybe I heard.
Tank
Yeah. My first single was called Freaky.
DJ Envy
Oh, okay.
Tank
And it almost destroyed my career before started. Huh.
Charlamagne tha God
The label.
Tank
The label picked it, but I was very excited about it as well.
Lauren LaRosa
When I googled it, it said a song many have missed is his actual first single, Freaky, which came out first and has pretty much become obscure today. God damn.
Charlamagne tha God
When's the last time you performed that?
Lauren LaRosa
Never.
Tank
I was performing the song I was on promo tour, Fort Valley State Homecoming. And I'm, you know, I'm coming out. I got my freaky interlude. You know, they want to get freaky. And then the song starts. And, like, right in the middle of the first hook, these two little cute girls. The first row was like, whack. I was like. And this was in the DAT tape era, so I couldn't stop it.
Lauren LaRosa
Exactly.
Charlamagne tha God
You had to let it go all.
Tank
The way through the whole song.
Lauren LaRosa
Damn.
Tank
Then I sweated the rest of the song and I never sang that song again.
Lauren LaRosa
Damn.
Tank
I said, don't put it on the album. Erase it. Get rid of this song. And we did a hard turn cut. The single went to. Maybe I deserve. Thank God.
Dawn Staley
Wow.
Lauren LaRosa
Rest is history.
Tank
Rest is history.
Charlamagne tha God
Charlamagne.
Lauren LaRosa
Why Broadway right now? Cause you are featured in Alicia Keys, Hell's Kitchen.
Tank
And it's timing, bro, because for me, 2025 was the hard pivot into acting. You know, the music thing has been so much of my bread and butter and so much of my focus for so long. I was like, I gotta get to the other thing that I love. And Charlie Macka had always been telling me, bro, you're gonna have to make a hard pivot in order to really do it the right way. And I was like, okay, I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. And with 2025 coming in the way that it did and having a free moment and opportunity, I'd always heard horror stories about Broadway, you know what I mean? Just in terms of the workload.
Dawn Staley
Yeah.
DJ Envy
And the pay.
Tank
The pay, the facility, all of that. And I was like, yeah, I probably never do Broadway. And then I get, you know, we get this call from Alicia, like, hey, Alicia's looking for you to do those kids. I'm like, what? And I'm like, you know, the name Alicia Keys is already like, that's interesting. Gotta at least see what that's about. Right? And so they sent some papers over for me to look at. And I'm like, okay, I'm looking at it. I'm like, all right, I'll go see. You know what I mean? Just out of respect for that name itself.
Lauren LaRosa
So you went to go watch the play before you?
Tank
Absolutely.
Lauren LaRosa
Okay. So you saw when Brandon V. Dixon was playing?
Tank
Well, he was. He wasn't there.
Lauren LaRosa
All right, all right.
Tank
His. His sub was in.
Lauren LaRosa
Got you. Got you.
Tank
Who's dope as well. And. And I watched a play and I fell in love with it. And the next day was actually my walk in audition. And so I kind of hey, what up y'?
Dawn Staley
All?
Charlamagne tha God
It's DJ Envy. The first few months of 2025 have been quite a year. Work deadlines, group chats you can't escape, and your weird cousin's latest overshare. It's a lot, but here's some good news. You don't have to bring that stress into your car. The all new Nissan Murano is your piece on wheels, thanks to its available features. Imagine sliding into the relaxing, massaging seats that feel like they were made to melt your tensions. Take in the skyline views that let sunlight pour in and watch as your day brightens. I have a special playlist that always gets me right. And with the Bose Premium sound system, you too can vibe like you're at your own private concert. Plus, with your 64 color personalized lighting option, you can set the mood any way you want. Be it romantic, chill, or in a straight up do not disturb mode. Let the Nissan Murano be your oasis in a chaotic world. Because sometimes the greatest rush isn't rushing at all. Drive the all new Nissan Murano today.
Jess Hilarious
Panoramic moonroof, ambient lighting, bows and massaging leather. Appointed seats are optional features.
Charlamagne tha God
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Lauren LaRosa
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Mel Robbins
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Tank
I knew where I needed to be and at that point it was just like, I think it's time. I think it has answered the question for me. You know what I mean? Me and Lulu were to my manager, Lulu was talking, he's like, it just does something different for you, brother. It just does something really different. And in deliberating, I was just deliberating like, is this the time to like just take a hard left? And out of nowhere Charlie Mac calls me. Hadn't talked to in a minute and he's like, what's going on bro? I'm like, Nothing, just. Just chilling. He wanted to come to my Atlantic City show. I'm like, oh, I got you. Look. He said. I said, imagine a question. I got this on the table right now. And he said, what the are you talking about? I said, well, I'm asking you. You don't need my opinion. You know what you're supposed to. There was that, and here I am. And so, you know, when I said. I sat with Alicia the other day, her and Adam Blackstone, and she was like, tank, I just felt like it was you. She's like, I didn't know why. She's like, it was. It just. To me, it just felt like it was you. And she's like, I didn't even know if you could act. And I was like, wow, you ain't seen me on Lifetime or bet, you know what I'm saying? Or TV one. I'm the Denzel of that space. You know what I'm saying?
Charlamagne tha God
I'm the Denzel of that space.
Tank
I'm the Denzel of that space. You ain't seen none of that.
Lauren LaRosa
But.
Tank
But she had never seen me act. And she was like. And then when I saw you in the audition, she was like. I was just blown away. And I was like, no, that's. That's what I do. Singing is. That's whatever. And so she and I went back and forth, singing back and forth her. You know, singing her amazing catalog. And I debuted on Tuesday. And so now it's, like, real.
Charlamagne tha God
How tough is it, the rehearsals and do you have to shut everything else off? And do you get time for yourself now? Cause it just seems like a. Doesn't stop.
Tank
I'm a machine. So I'm a routine guy, you know what I mean? So I' ma get up, help get the kids to school, do cardio, eat, go to the gym, do the second lift, go to the studio. Either work on music or do pod. Get back, eat dinner with the family, get some wife time in, and the next day do the same thing. I'm a machine. I'm built like that. So Broadway schedule works perfect for who I am now. Eight shows a week.
Lauren LaRosa
Crazy.
Tank
That's where it get different. Because, you know, they call it, you know, you have an A show, a B show, and a C show in terms of how you perform. I've never been able to do a B show and feel good about it. Like, because all of those people, whether it's a Wednesday or Saturday, they spent their money to see something great. They spent their money to see somebody go all out so I'm doing a shows from Tuesday to Sunday, and we got one day off. That's Monday, and right back to it. Jesus.
DJ Envy
What's your rest day like on a Monday? Like, are you vocal?
Tank
I don't know.
DJ Envy
Oh, you don't?
Tank
Yeah, I just. I just started. So I'm gonna have my first Monday next. Next Monday.
DJ Envy
What's your plan?
Tank
Nothing. Go to the gym. You know what I'm saying? Eat some. Eat some cool food somewhere. You know, maybe keep with Charlemagne and not hard. And talk about this.
Lauren LaRosa
Let's do it.
Tank
RB Awards.
Lauren LaRosa
There you go. What about the family? Like, could you.
Tank
Family was just here. They came for the. For the. For the debut. My mom. Them came up, wife Zoe and Zion came up, and it was really. It was really, really cool, man.
Lauren LaRosa
The 13 weeks is a long time to be away from the. Especially if you got a routine like you say, it's.
Tank
It's tougher for them than it is for me, because for me, I'm, you know, I'm hyper focused. I'm in it, and I have something to do every day, something to look forward to. And so, you know, the wife is at home doing the kid thing and all that. But that's why, you know, that's what. It's a team marriage. She holds that down. I'm gonna hold this down. But this, to me is, like, was the opportunity for people in that space to understand that I'm serious about going here. You know, Kevin was in town the other day, so I went and, you know, saw him and chopped it up with him. And he was like, I'm really, really proud of you for making this move. This says a lot about the next level of where you can go and who you can be. And so that's what I'm looking forward to. That's what it is.
Lauren LaRosa
So you got your own tonight?
Tank
Yeah.
Lauren LaRosa
Oh, we gotta get Tank outta here.
Tank
No, no, I'm.
Charlamagne tha God
Check out Tank at Hell's Kitchen.
Lauren LaRosa
We appreciate one more thing, too. Saturday, April 26 is the third annual Black Effect Podcast Festival. Yeah.
Charlamagne tha God
Can you.
Lauren LaRosa
Huh?
Charlamagne tha God
Did you make it?
Lauren LaRosa
Yeah, it's a Saturday. Tank and Jay Valentine are gonna be there. He's got.
Tank
I'll be there. I got one day off.
Lauren LaRosa
That's right.
Charlamagne tha God
Oh, that's okay. Just making sure.
Tank
One day.
Lauren LaRosa
Have y' all thought about what that's gonna look like? Live R B Money podcast on stage?
Tank
Nope, Nope. We're thinking about it, though.
Lauren LaRosa
Yeah.
Tank
Because it's got to be sexy. You know what I'm saying? You know, y' all gonna be singing.
Lauren LaRosa
Why he gotta sing?
DJ Envy
You don't have to.
Charlamagne tha God
I just wanted to podcast, ma'.
Monique
Am.
DJ Envy
Yeah, he sings on a podcast.
Tank
If the spirit moves them. If, you know, if it moves me, then I promise you.
DJ Envy
I feel like Atlanta got me on a lot of things.
Tank
Yeah, you know, we gotta. We gotta. We gotta figure out what that's gonna. Cause this will be, you know, this will be our first time doing it like we do this.
Lauren LaRosa
Your first time doing it live?
Tank
Well, we've done R B Live, R and B Money Live, the event where it's been strictly catered, where it's band, dj, you know, karaoke, vibes, like, really, really dope. We've done that up in Phoenix at Stadium with one of my guys. Two spots. So we've done that.
Lauren LaRosa
But this is for people who like the podcast and enjoy the conversation.
Tank
Exactly. So this is pod and conversation. So in terms of make. Trying to figure out what makes ours a little different, you know what I mean? We're still formulating that. Well.
Lauren LaRosa
Saturday, April 26th, 3rd Annual Black Effect Podcast Festival. Go get your tickets. Black Effect.com podcast festival. Make sure you check out Tank in Hell's Kitchen with Alicia Keys on Broadway right now.
Charlamagne tha God
And we appreciate you, brother.
Tank
I'm reporting on you all, man. If you all don't see. If y' all don't show up all.
Lauren LaRosa
The time, that's one of my. I enjoy Broadway.
Charlamagne tha God
Absolutely.
Tank
Okay. And when I'm not here, you know what I'm saying, I still want to hear somebody say, have you seen Hell's Kitchen? Did you go? Did you. You know, don't make me tell Alicia in Swiss.
Lauren LaRosa
We'll be there. And make sure you subscribe to the R B Money podcast on the Black Effect I Heart Radio Podcast Network.
Charlamagne tha God
That's right, it's Tank. Ladies and gentlemen, it's the Breakfast club. Good morning, 800-585-1051. Morning, everybody. It's DJ Envy. Jess. Hilarious Charlemagne, the guy. We are the breakfast club. Lauren LaRosa filling in for Jess. Now, if you're just joining us, we're talking about Swiss beats. He did an interview with Us Weekly, and he was talking about his relationship with his wife. They've been married 15 years, and he says it's a healthy marriage. And he said, what keeps it so healthy is he said, first, they don't yell at each other. And they said, we've never had an argument. So that is the question. 800-585-1051. Have you never have an argument with Your spouse. I can't say that's true for me. Me and my wife have argued. You know, we.
Lauren LaRosa
We argue.
Charlamagne tha God
I mean, it doesn't get to the point where we are yelling and screaming and kicking, but we do argue. You know, we disagree and we have arguments.
Lauren LaRosa
It's impossible. I mean, listen, I don't salute to Swiss and Alicia respect to them if they don't argue. But I think that, you know, I can't. That is not my household. You know what I mean? Like, you know, we have very healthy debates. We have arguments. We got four kids, different parenting styles, I guess. Right. But, you know, we try to come on one accord, to have one solid parenting style. But, yeah, there's gonna always be things that you, you know, argue about that don't make it unhealthy, that don't make. That you got. That don't mean you got a bad relationship. It's just that, you know, that mean that you live with a person. Yeah.
Charlamagne tha God
And like I said, I've been with my wife 31 years. We've been married 23. We argue. You like we. There's things like you said, like I might, you know, discipline my children this way or talk to my children this way. She does it this way. And we go back and forth. Like I said, it ain't to the point where we yelling and screaming and she's sleeping in another room. No, we have disagreements.
Lauren LaRosa
No. And sometimes you do have to tell the. The wife that. Don't talk to me like I'm your child.
DJ Envy
I know your wife begin with you all the time.
Lauren LaRosa
All the time. But if I think sometimes, you know, women, you know, especially when they have a lot of kids, they're used to talking a certain way, and men can be immature at times, so we get spoken to in that way. And sometimes you just have to remind them, I am not your child.
DJ Envy
Envy. You get spoken to.
Lauren LaRosa
You have.
DJ Envy
You have to tell gear that.
Charlamagne tha God
I have to a couple of times. I'm not your child. Absolutely, yes.
DJ Envy
I mean, but I'm here with y' all every day. I kind of feel for y' all wives.
Lauren LaRosa
No, you should feel for us. Okay? That's what you should feel for us. But really, again, I mean, listen, once again, respect the Swiss and Alicia. If they don't argue, God bless. I don't know if that's realistic. I really don't even. Even with the most healthiest healed couples, I don't know if that's realistic for you to never argue.
Charlamagne tha God
Never nothing. Like, y' all agree on everything. It's never a disagreement.
Lauren LaRosa
Yeah, I don't know.
Charlamagne tha God
Hello. Who's this?
Uber Mike
Yo, this Grant Michaels, the author.
Charlamagne tha God
Hey, what's up, Grand? Michaels, the author. Talk to us, man.
Uber Mike
What's happening, man? Y' all can't be serious, man. Like, me and my wife been married for 12 years. We've been together for 15. We've never had an argument.
Lauren LaRosa
Argument.
Uber Mike
I'm never saying we. We don't disagree, but we have never.
Lauren LaRosa
Had an argument like this.
Uber Mike
That's my home. That's my place of peace, my. My sanctuary. And why the hell would I want to bring discourse and immaturity into it?
Lauren LaRosa
Well, God bless for all of you, y'. All. Y' all way more healed than. Than me in my household, then. Or maybe it's just me. Maybe I'm the problem.
Uber Mike
You know what I'm saying?
Tank
We live in.
Uber Mike
We live in Columbia, South Carolina. Chief of Allendale, Charlamagne.
Lauren LaRosa
You know about Allendale? Yeah, I was in the Met Monday.
Uber Mike
I ain't trying to get nothing.
Lauren LaRosa
Oh, that's what's up, man.
Uber Mike
I ain't trying to get cut. So that's how I started initially, you.
Lauren LaRosa
Know what I'm saying?
Uber Mike
As we grew, it just became the norm. Like, nah. Like, as a black man, we got.
Lauren LaRosa
So much going on in the world. Like, why do I have to come home to further foolishness? You feel me?
Charlamagne tha God
So you never had a heated argument or disagreement with your wife?
Lauren LaRosa
All my life, never. God bless my brother. I need to. I need to get to where you at.
DJ Envy
They said never yell. Never had a heated argument. Their kids have never seen them cuss at each other.
Lauren LaRosa
I don't know. I don't believe that. Salute to everybody in the Metro, to the 803 Hot139. That's the station we on out there.
Charlamagne tha God
Hello?
Lauren LaRosa
Who's this? You.
Uber Mike
We're shaking bacon.
Charlamagne tha God
What's shaking?
Lauren LaRosa
I don't know. Pork on my fork, sir.
Charlamagne tha God
What's up?
Lauren LaRosa
No.
Uber Mike
No pork. No pork. So first, Envy, I want to say, what's up, Envy? I met you before I was EP on Stiles's 22 convoy when we did the video down in Slate. Down in the city.
Tank
Okay.
Uber Mike
When he was there with you. We did the video there. And now to the topic. I do believe that you can be in a. In a marriage and not argue with a woman, right? Because nowadays, when you say argument, the first thing people think about is somebody blowing a gasket. You know, you start arguing, you're screaming at each other. But there's a difference between Arguing and having a solid, strong discussion because I've been with my woman eight years and we don't argue. We just have a real solid in that conversation to kind of get our point across. I think if you could get your point across that way, I think you don't need to argue with people. So I, I believe that he can be in a, you know, in a marriage especially. Well, they look like two low keys, you know, down to earth people that you can sit and speak to. Why would it be so hard to, to believe that?
Lauren LaRosa
Let me look up. What's the definition of argument?
Charlamagne tha God
It says. That's what I just did. It says typically not heated or able.
Lauren LaRosa
The fact that you got to go.
Uber Mike
Into it, the fact that you gotta google that to see what it is, is because when you think of argument, that's exactly what comes up into your head. It's like an argument. Like you scream at your volumes at a 10.
Lauren LaRosa
No, it says an argument is an exchange of diverging or opposite views, typically a heated or angry one. I.
DJ Envy
What Swiss is saying is that they disagree, but it doesn't get heated. But they don't allow it to get heated.
Charlamagne tha God
But the argument is back and forth. Like, I had an argument with my dad the other day. Right, Right. It wasn't, we weren't yelling and screaming, but he had a view about something. I had a view about something. And it was heated. But after we laughed it off, he kept moving, but it was an argument.
DJ Envy
Well, he said they do disagree, but they, their communication styles doesn't allow for it to get to level 10.
Lauren LaRosa
What is level 10?
DJ Envy
Well, he didn't actually say level 10. I said level 10.
Lauren LaRosa
But he said, I'm saying, but that's what I mean. What is level 10?
DJ Envy
I think it's all the screaming, the yelling, the cussing. Like, he said that their kids have never seen them yell at each other, cuss at each other, those type of things.
Lauren LaRosa
Things. Oh, no, that ain't, that ain't. God bless wisdom. That ain't my house. I'm not about to sit here and tell y' all no lie like that.
DJ Envy
What's the last word you've been called? Envy.
Charlamagne tha God
Nah, we don't call each other names now. But you got to think, I've been with my wife since 16. You're like, we've argued, we've yelled, we've screamed. Like we, we've been there, you know, I mean, it is what it is.
Lauren LaRosa
Sometimes my kid, sometimes my 9 year old will tell us to stop yelling at each other. And we both be like. Like we both said, we not yelling.
Charlamagne tha God
We not yelling.
Lauren LaRosa
We not yelling at each other. Cause we don't be. But, you know, I guess. I don't know. I guess any back and forth between parents looks like an argument to kids. I don't know.
Charlamagne tha God
800-585-1051. We were talking about Swizz Beats and his wife Alicia Key. Shout to us. Wiz and Leasha. They said they have never argued after 15 years of marriage. Let's discuss. It's the Breakfast Club.
Tank
Good morning, the Breakfast Club.
Charlamagne tha God
Morning, everybody. It's DJ Envy. Just hilarious. Charlamagne the guy. We are the breakfast club. Lauren LaRosa is here as well. And we got a special guest in the building.
Lauren LaRosa
Yes, indeed.
Charlamagne tha God
Ladies and gentlemen, Mel Robbins.
Lauren LaRosa
Welcome.
Jess Hilarious
Hey, it's good to see you.
Charlamagne tha God
How you feeling?
Lauren LaRosa
Good morning.
Jess Hilarious
I feel great. How are you doing?
Lauren LaRosa
Blessed, black and highly favored. This is your first time in this studio. You were here in 2021 when you had the high five theory.
Jess Hilarious
Yes, yes.
Lauren LaRosa
But now, millions of books later, number one podcast in the world right now. Yeah.
Charlamagne tha God
Round of applause.
Lauren LaRosa
Yes.
Charlamagne tha God
Congratulations.
Lauren LaRosa
Six year, and it really feels like you've truly arrived. What do you. What do you. What do you think? You know, the success. What's made all this new success happen?
Jess Hilarious
Well, you know, it's not new success. Like, what you're seeing is the result of 15 years of just boring, grueling daily reps. Like, that's what nobody, like, wants to understand, is that you can be successful. You can achieve anything you want. You just have to be patient. You have to get up out of bed every single day and put one foot in front of the other. You got to be willing to do the things you don't feel like doing in the dark when nobody's watching. And when you think that it's not going to happen for you, that is what it's about. It's about just consistent, small moves, being patient. I mean, there were so many times where I was just like, am I ever going to get out of debt?
Lauren LaRosa
Wow.
Jess Hilarious
Is anyone ever going to notice? Like, am I ever going to get invited to the Breakfast Club? Like, when are the. Like, when is somebody going to notice?
Charlamagne tha God
I'm sure this wasn't your spot that you wanted.
Jess Hilarious
Well, no, but seriously, like, you kind of sit there because, I mean, every one of us have had those moments, whether you're putting out music or you're starting a YouTube channel or you started a business. And it's so easy to look around at what everybody else is doing and think that you're losing some race in life. The real game is with yourself. Can you keep going? Can you say to yourself, and this is kind of how I would keep myself going in those moments? I would say, I refuse to believe that this is how the story. I believe that at some point all of this work is going to pay off. I don't have to know how. I have to believe that it will. And if it hasn't yet, it's not meant to yet. There's some lesson, there's something I'm being held for that I don't know what it is. But if I choose to believe in this moment that things are going to get better, that things are going to turn out for me, that all this hard work is going to pay off, that trying to be a better person is going to pay off. The at some point I will look back on my life and say, oh, that's why it didn't happen then. Oh, that's why it took longer. Oh, that's why either you weren't ready or God, the universe was holding you for a different moment. And so, you know, a lot of people ask me, what is this moment about? I think it's about 15 years of ridiculously hard work becoming a better person. I think it's about 15 years of just chipping away at getting out of debt and doing better in my marriage and being a better mother and getting control of my emotions and my mental health, chipping away at building a business. And I truly believe that I was being held for this moment. Like this 1000% is my legacy.
Charlamagne tha God
Well, let me ask you a question, Mel. You talk about the reps?
Jess Hilarious
Yep.
Charlamagne tha God
For you it worked out and successful and great. What about that person that is just not good, right? That rapper that is not good. Like he's trying that podcast person that is doing a podcast that is just not good. And everybody thinks they're good, good to anybody.
Jess Hilarious
Well, I don't see, I don't believe that.
Charlamagne tha God
But when do you stop because you're a 60 year old rapper? Like, you know what I mean?
Jess Hilarious
Or maybe why can't there be a 91, 90 year old one? See, maybe what the rapping is for is maybe it's not about rapping. Maybe there is something that you're doing when you are rapping and nobody's coming that is teaching you a lesson about patience. Maybe what it's doing is teaching you to believe in yourself when nobody else does. And every time that you show up and nobody's There. Every time you post a video on your YouTube channel that only your uncle and your son are subscribed to, every time you post, you're basically saying, you know what? Screw the world. I believe in myself. I'm doing this for myself. And so for me, when you give the example of, like, the person who's a rapper who's just terrible, just, there's lots of people out there doing stuff. They're just terrible. What I love is that they felt called to do something. I don't care if they felt called to do it because they wanted to make more money. I mean, hell, I was working five, six jobs back, you know, 15 years ago when we were $800,000 in debt because I needed groceries on the table, I needed gas in the tank. And so motivation to be safe and to make money or because of your ambition. That's a beautiful thing. But at some point you're going to go, I'm not that good at this. But I believe. And this is what I think is super cool about life. Absolutely every experience that you have in life is leading you somewhere and teaching you something. And I'm gonna. One of the reasons why I share so much about what I've learned and the mistakes that I've made. I'm like, the villain in every book, is because I'm stubborn. Like, it takes a sledgehammer from the universe for me to wake the hell up and stop doing stuff. Something like, I literally get so into my groove, whether it's drinking too much or taking my stress out on my kids or being a jealous, insecure friend, that things have to backfire for me to wake up and go, well, guess I better try something different.
Lauren LaRosa
I want to just set it up. About the book, man. There's some books that I believe are must reads in life. The Lectern Theory by Mel Robbins has been added to that must read list. My wife got it for me a few weeks ago. And the book is just essentially about how you have to stop wasting your life on things that you can't control. When did you get to that revelation?
Jess Hilarious
Oh, my God, it was 54. I am a slow learner, you know, and the funny thing is, is I'm married to the chillest dude on the planet. I mean, I'm married to a man who is not only Buddhist, he is a death doula. And, like, when you want to talk about, like, a person. Yeah, that can just sit in stillness. I'm like a tornado of emotion. And so I've always wanted to let things go. I'VE always wanted to not care what people think. I've never known how. And see, when you're stressed or you're easily offended like I used to be, or you have a lot going on, it is very hard to not get wrapped up in what other people are thinking and doing. It's very hard to not let what your kids are going through stress you out. And so, you know, I've been trying to do this forever. I mean, this is not a new idea. The Serenity Prayer is the let them theory. In fact, you know, I sat down with Dr. Martin Luther King III and his wife Andrea, and they both said, we write about it in the let them theory. They both reflect on the fact that this concept that you have to give up control in order to gain control, that your power is in your response, that this is part of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr's legacy because your response is what dictates who you are. It's not what's happening out there. It's how you respond to it with your thoughts and your actions and how you process your own emotions. And so I did not know this until I was 54 years old. And you know, for me personally, the power of these two words because let them, we've all said let them in our lives a bazillion times. I mean, there's a, there's a sermon circulating that's 20 years old. TD Jakes doing this let them sermon. So this is a concept that has been around since the beginning of time and that's why this has resonated. I'm not teaching you something new. I'm reminding you of what you already know to be true through. And I'm handing you this tool so you can snap out of this crap where we're constantly worked up about what other people are doing to take our power back.
Charlamagne tha God
We're still kicking it with Mel Robbins.
DJ Envy
Lauren, you, you talk about managing other people a lot. And I've, I've never heard the term put like that, but you use it to basically talk about how we're, we're. So what you're talking about right now, we're worried about other people, but also too, I think it's expectations of other people that we're trying to, we're making decisions based around that a lot. When did you realize the, this whole scale of like managing other people and learning when to clock out of that job of trying to do that?
Jess Hilarious
Well, so what is going to happen is this. So when you start using the let them theory and it's so easy to use. The next time you're stressed out or annoyed or frustrated, and it's always with other people, just say, let them. That's how you use it. Let them. And you're going to immediately feel peaceful. Your mom's in a bad mood. Let her be in a bad mood. Some old friend of yours is talking, let him talk trash. Why you're not allowing it. When you say let them, you are reminding yourself, there's one thing in life I can't control. It's what other people say, do believe, feel, and it's not my job, too. So when you start saying let them, and you detach yourself from the responsibility of having to manage somebody else, something interesting happens. You realize, oh, my God, I've lived my life in reverse. I actually live my life giving time and energy, trying to manage what other people think. I have kept myself in a major or in a relationship or in a situation because I'm afraid to disappoint my parents or my friends. I mean, how many people keep drinking or, like, keep going out at night when what they really want to do is launch a business, and so they don't take the weekends to work on the things that they want to work on because they feel like they don't want to disappoint their friends or people going to talk about it? That's you giving power to other people. Like, another way that we give power to other people is we, you know, get so focused on the headlines that we gaslight ourselves into believing that you have no power. It's complete garbage. Of course you have power. And so when you start saying let them, it's sort of this revelation where you're like, oh, my God, I spend so much time and energy worrying about other people. I spend so much time and energy letting them stress me out.
DJ Envy
But is there a level of, like, when that becomes easier versus harder? Because, like, when you were just talking, I thought about Michelle Obama.
Jess Hilarious
Yes.
DJ Envy
In the podcast, one of the podcasts she did this week, she was talking about how she realized she was doing a lot for other people, not thinking about herself, and she started making decisions for herself. So she's going places. She wants to go and do things. She wants to go. People don't like that, and they think she's divorced because of it.
Dawn Staley
Yeah.
DJ Envy
But it's like she's Michelle Obama, so it's hard for her to. Like, the noise is. So it's a lot louder for her.
Jess Hilarious
Well, of course. But whether or not you pay attention to that is within your Control. Whether or not you look at your phone and we're all guilty of it, whether you are Michelle Obama or you're just going into your middle school, whether or not you give attention to the gossip, you look for the gossip, you mainline it. That is within your control. If you say, I can never, ever, ever stop somebody from lying about me, from making up stuff about me, from, you know, saying whatever they're going to say, so why on earth would I spend any time and energy managing it?
Lauren LaRosa
That's right.
Jess Hilarious
And then you go, let me. This is the second part of the theory. Once you say let them, let them think negative thoughts. Let them make up all kinds of crap. Because if you know you're not getting divorced, what do you care about these idiots saying, what do I care about? Let me remind myself that I know the truth. And when you know the truth about who you are, you don't think about other people. When you live your life in a way that makes you proud you are, you don't think about other people.
Lauren LaRosa
Mel, I tell them this all he told me.
DJ Envy
You told me to read her book. And I was like. And I already had the book because I think Eddie giving it to us a minute ago, I was like, oh, I got the book.
Lauren LaRosa
And, and, and further.
Dawn Staley
You got it.
Jess Hilarious
You got it. It will change your damn. I'm telling you, it will change your life because.
Charlamagne tha God
But you have to get to that stage, right? Yes. It took me a while to get to that stage. It took you a while to get to that stage.
DJ Envy
He think he was born that way. And I don't think that's true.
Lauren LaRosa
No one is born. So I've never truly cared.
Charlamagne tha God
Right.
Lauren LaRosa
But then even when I started to care, I realized things like the serenity prayer, little simple things that you saw sitting in your grandmother's house. You realize that is absolutely the truth. God grant me to Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. And the easiest way to let go of what you can't control is just realizing you never had control to begin with.
Jess Hilarious
And here's another thing that's really important. This is why you're going to love it, is that what'll start to happen when you say let them is it's not that you're allowing people to do bad things. They're already doing bad things. You're recognizing that it's not your job to manage other people. Because this is a book that's about power and control and peace.
Charlamagne tha God
Hey, what Up, y'.
Lauren LaRosa
All.
Charlamagne tha God
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Jess Hilarious
Panoramic moonroof, ambient lighting, bows and massaging leather. Appointed seats are optional features.
Lauren LaRosa
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Mel Robbins
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Jess Hilarious
Life.
Tank
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Jess Hilarious
Then you say, let me remind myself how I respond to things actually is where my power is. So do I give this any time and energy or not? Do I double down on just living my life in a way that makes me proud of myself, which is where your power is. And the thing that that also changed me dramatically is I couldn't believe how much stress I felt and how I was bracing all the time. And when you start to say let them and you release that kind of obligation to make other people happy or to make everybody know that you're not divorced or that everything's okay, or like just let them think whatever they want to think and live your life in a way that makes you proud you're going to get all this time and energy back. And and what I love about this is when you're less stressed and when you're not bracing all the time because you know your boss is narcissistic. So why on earth would you walk into work assuming that today's gonna be anything other than what it already has always been. Let them be who they are.
Lauren LaRosa
I love the Managing Stress chapter. And in that chapter you say you can't control how other adults behave and stressing about it diminishes your power. You'll never reach the full potential of your life if you continue to allow stupid Things to rule people, to drain your life force.
Jess Hilarious
Can you explain? Yes. So the two most important resources that you have in life, time, energy. That's what you got. How you spend your time, where you put your energy. It actually determines your experience of life. And that's why I say if you have this experience right now where you're exhausted and overwhelmed and nervous and you're not feeling like you can ever have time for yourself or your goals just aren't clicking, you're not the problem. The problem is all this time and energy you spend dealing with other people and so let them is a boundary that you draw where you start to recognize, okay, I'm going to let other people think and feel and do and have their opinions and I'm going to let them be disappointed. I'm going to let them misunderstand me and I'm going to let me really take that time and energy back and pour it into working on myself and staying in my peace. And what I found is that when I'm less stressed, which I am because I'm not allowing stupid stuff or other people to stress me out, I'm actually a better person. I make more money because I can use my brain instead of being in fight or flight. I don't like vomit on my kids, my emotions. I used to be the kind of person that would come in after work and be yelling at everybody or mad at the dog, for crying out loud. And then I'd be like, I'm sorry, it was a bad day at work. Stressful day at work.
Lauren LaRosa
Work with the dogs. They back.
Jess Hilarious
Yeah, you know, they kind of do this and then they come back and they're really nice because they, they literally, dogs don't do, don't like punish you for that. And it's so sad that I used to leave the worst of me for the people I cared about the most and then blame it on the stress of the day. That by the way, when you use the let them theory, you have control over whether or not this stuff gets to you.
Charlamagne tha God
I have a question. In chapter five, you say let them think bad thoughts about you.
Tank
Right.
Charlamagne tha God
The question with that is when a lot of people sometimes especially on social media, Right.
Jess Hilarious
Yep.
Charlamagne tha God
Nobody facts checks anymore. But that could affect your reputation, that could affect your business, that could affect the way that your kids, teachers look at you or business that comes around, of course, what do you do in those instances?
Jess Hilarious
Well, so here, this is a very tricky question because you're talking about the PR and the media swirl. PR is a little bit different in personal. Like, I think it's really important to understand who you are. Whether you're dealing with rumors at a middle school or you're dealing with rumors in your community or you've got somebody in your family trash talking you in order to repair your reputation. It is better to show than to tell. In my opinion, you prove the truth based on how you show up in life, not based on the words that come out of your mouth. And if there is somebody spreading things about you, the best way to handle it is to go directly to that person and to ask them about it. Because those kind of people, the people that gossip about you, ultimately end up crumbling anyway. That's right, because it always catches up with them.
Charlamagne tha God
We're still kicking it with Mel Robbins. Her new book, the Let Em Theory is out right now.
Lauren LaRosa
Charlamagne, you know, you were in the book. You talk about how you felt paralyzed by imposter syndrome, especially when you were teaching the five second rule. I wonder what's changed since then. Like, what gives you the confidence and authority now to feel like you can and go out here and teach to let them theory?
Jess Hilarious
That's a great, great question. So you know how? Well, first of all, imposter syndrome is deeply misunderstood. So imposter syndrome does not mean that you don't belong in the room you're in. Imposter syndrome means you actually want to be in the room you're in. And there's skills or there's experience that you need to gain in order to dominate in that room. Imposter syndrome is actually not self doubt, it's ambition. And so explain that a bit, because.
DJ Envy
It'S always been said the other way.
Jess Hilarious
Yeah. And so if you really think about it, if you walk into a room and you don't feel imposter syndrome, it's because you don't want to be in that room. You don't care what people think about you in that room. If you walk into a room and you feel a sense of imposter syndrome, it's because you care about what people think about you in that room. It means your ambition wants you to succeed in that room.
DJ Envy
I was like, push to stay sharp because you're trying to. Okay.
Jess Hilarious
And also like, hey, I want to actually succeed around people like this. Which means what are the skills I need? And what I started to understand, and I think it explains a lot about why I am who I am, is that we're all the same. Everybody is dealing with the same stuff. Yes. It's easier if you have More money and more resources. But at the end of the day, everybody's got a family member that they're worried about. Everybody has ambition they're not tapping into. Everybody has things that they want to pursue in their life and they're kind of, of letting themselves down a little bit. Everybody struggles with a little bit of uncertainty and anxiety at times. Everybody has hopes and dreams and feels a little discouraged and overwhelmed. And when you start at a baseline that people would love to thrive, and people thrive when they can, and if they can't, I believe it's because they're discouraged or there's some skill building or some experience or, you know, some mentorship that's missing, that's it. But that you're building, built to thrive. And so when you really start at that baseline, like, you know, I make it a practice, by the way, this is, this is one thing that'll change your life. When you go into a public bathroom, two things. I always leave the space better than when I found it.
Dawn Staley
I always clean up public bathroom.
Lauren LaRosa
It depends.
Jess Hilarious
Now, no, no, no, literally, like I literally, that's why I don't go into that stall. But okay.
DJ Envy
No, just let them. I gotta let.
Jess Hilarious
Because if somebody likes destroy, especially women, if somebody destroys a seat, pees all over it, and then they leave, that is a human being that is so disconnected from the interconnection of the human experience. You are leaving that for another person. And so making sure that you don't leave your mess for another person, making sure that you just kind of wipe down the counter. And then here's the second thing. If there is a human being cleaning that bathroom, please look in the AI and say thank you, you all the time.
Charlamagne tha God
All the time.
Jess Hilarious
Thank you all the time. Like that right there is a simple thing that will make you start to shake out of that woe is me, or that stress or that overwhelm. Let them know you appreciate and see what they're doing because it changes who you are. And then you start to see all day long that there are like, you know, I can't look at you because I'm going to cry. People are just walking around disconnected. And the power of starting to be the one that wakes people up, hey, you know, I hope I always get an elder. Hey, how's everybody doing? Like, it's shocking how we have gotten so far away from that sense of community. And there's actually research around this. They call it either weak ties. I call them warm connections. Those people that you see in the building every day that you Say hello to the person that's walking the dog that you, you know, know the name of the dog in your neighborhood. These relationships matter because they make you feel human again.
DJ Envy
When you feel the impact from what you're doing with your book and the let them theory, like, you just got emotional. Just not even just about your impact, but just talking about just change in the world, how does it make you feel? Like, do you take a moment just of gratitude and be like. Because I saw all the tattoos in the book and I was like, that's so fire. It's hard to make people like, actually believe something that's not tangible.
Jess Hilarious
One of the things that, you know, for me, I spent so many years, like, hating myself and feeling like I was a really bad person. And when you get stuck in life, it's easy to think you're the only one. And so I'm just literally on a mission to share whatever I can share and give people access just like you guys give people access to incredible thinkers and experts and resources. You know, your work is reaching some way halfway around the world that doesn't even have a toilet in their house. And how incredible is that? And if I can save anybody the headaches and the heartaches that I caused myself or the people that I care about, because I didn't know any better. I didn't know what the problem was. I didn't know how to change myself. I didn't know how to push through the emotion that is a life well lived.
DJ Envy
Why did you hate yourself though? Because you can't do anything about what you don't know.
Jess Hilarious
Oh my God, we don't have time. I literally, like, from the amount of cheating I did when I was little to the undiagnosed anxiety or the undiagnosed dyslexia and ADHD and how that created tremendous anxiety to the way that childhood trauma impacted me that I didn't even realize was impacting me. Like, it's just chronic. I just did not think I was a bad person. And there's a lot of people walking around that have a hundred times more negative thoughts than they do positive ones. And a lot of people develop a habit of being very self critical. It's never enough. Like, you're never gonna make it. Like, you're always so stupid. Why did you do that? Either because that's how they were talked to when they were little, or because it's this like, almost protective thing that if you beat yourself up first, you're gonna catch it before other people do. And I got To a point. And this is a. An important thing. The only thing you need to make your life better is one decision. How I'm living my life right now and how it feels no longer works for me. That's all you need to know. If you can have the courage to say that to yourself. You now have tipped the first domino because you've made a decision that you want to change how your life feels. You made a decision that you want to change how it feels up here. And for me, as a mom, like your kids, absorb the way that you treat yourself. And so having two daughters that I started noticing, my God, why are these beautiful young women picking themselves apart? Well, because I do. Why are they so hard on that? Because I was so hard on myself. That's how they learn it. And so I don't want them to do that to themselves. And, you know, the thing I was going to share that's made a huge difference for me is that I keep the impact front and center. And so we send an email out five days a week. There's a person on our team whose job is to assemble all of the things that people are saying all over the world about the books and the podcast. Not about Mel, but about what you learn. And I'll tell you, every day, there's 20 to 30 of them. And just the other day, there was a person who talked about how he was a stepdad and the. And the relationship ended, and those step kids were his life, and he didn't want to be here anymore. And somebody started to share the podcast with him, and he would go and take a walk every morning and listen to the podcast. And it started to give him a sense of hope. And now he uses the let them theory. This is a person that actually worked, works in, like, a police operations control center. Never in a million years would I think this is somebody that's listening to the Mel Robbins podcast or listening to this kind of conversation. But it goes to prove that everybody wants to do well, everybody wants to thrive. And, you know, when you're not doing well, you know, when you're not thriving, the. The problem for most of us is just kind of feeling like, I don't think this could change. And the fact is, of course it can change.
Lauren LaRosa
Change.
Jess Hilarious
If you've ever been happy in your life, you can be happy again. If you've ever been proud of yourself, you can be proud of yourself again. If you've ever forgiven somebody else, you can learn to forgive yourself.
Lauren LaRosa
And, you know, also, God doesn't call to qualified he qualifies the call. And you've been called Mel Robbins.
Jess Hilarious
I feel that.
Lauren LaRosa
I love you, man.
Jess Hilarious
I love you too.
Lauren LaRosa
Wow.
Charlamagne tha God
That's right. Well, we appreciate you for joining us.
Dawn Staley
Thank you.
Jess Hilarious
Thank you.
Charlamagne tha God
All right. Well, it's Mel Robbins. It's the Breakfast Club. Good morning.
Tank
The Breakfast Club.
Lauren LaRosa
Yes, Donkey today goes to a Modesto, California man named Christian Alandro Solario Anguiano. I don't think I pronounced any of that right. Okay, that is a name that ICE agents would have at the top of their list just in case they would monitor a name like that. You know, and honestly, with a name like that, he might get sent to El Salvador because he was arrested for sexual battery, burglary, stalking and assault with the intent to commit a felony. All those charges will get you deported in Trump's America, especially with a name like that. And it don't even matter if you are an American citizen. Okay? They gonna put you on that deportation flight to El Salvador. But what exactly did Christian Alondro Solario Anguiano do? Let's go to CBS News for the report, please. Got a strange one for you tonight out of Modesto. The Stanislaus county sheriff says they've arrested a man last week after he allegedly brought broke into a woman's home at night, then bit and licked her toes while she slept. Let's give you some context. The sheriff's office says the man arrested, seen here, 27 year old Cristian Anguiano, had been stalking the woman for months, following her home from work several times. Despite a number of people confronting him. Deputies say he just wouldn't stop, would even sleep in the car outside her home. Woman is okay Anguillano, though. Suspects being held on a $325,000 bail. He broke into our house just so he could treat her feet like a churro. Cinnamon swirl, full tongue action. Sweet, sticky, slightly confusing. Okay. El toe liquor supremo. Toe sucking king of the dance floor. How you break into someone's house which says on for their feet. This man is a telenovela villain. Okay, first of all, what's the point of stalking? At what point does a man understand this woman don't want you? And what part of your brain makes you believe that breaking into this woman's house and sexually assaulting her toes clothes was gonna make her like you? Okay. I don't know why I got this far. This man was following this woman home after her shifts, sleeping in his car outside her residence, checking her doors to see if they are unlocked to gain entry. If he was Doing all of that. He should have been on ice's radar a long time ago, okay? Somebody should have been. Put him in handcuffs. This man was confronted by her co workers to leave her alone, but none of that stopped him, okay? The lesson to be learned here is that this incident underscores the importance of taking stalking behavior seriously. And we got to implement strong protective measures for victims. And by stronger measures, we got to let people get their ass kicked, okay? That's what I mean by stronger measures. There has to be some sort of community policing that can happen the same way. It's citizens arrest. We have to make it okay in certain situations for citizens to put their foot up other citizens asses, okay? Co workers went to him and told him to cut it out. He was sleeping outside that woman's home. He was checking for unlocked doors at her residence. Residents. All of that should equate to a community jumping, okay? Now if that's too extreme for folks, then we got to enhance legal protections, all right? You got to have strong laws against stalking and ensure swift actions when victims report they are being stalked. You gotta use stories like this to increase public awareness. We have to educate the public about the signs of stalking and the importance of reporting suspicious activities. And most importantly, we got to support the victims, okay? Provide resources and support systems for people who feel threatened. You can't wait until somebody breaks into somebody's house and turns their toes into tamales to care, okay? So please give Christian Anguiano the sweet sounds of the Hamiltones.
Charlamagne tha God
You are the donkey of the day.
Dawn Staley
You are the donkey of the day.
Charlamagne tha God
All right, well, thank you for that. Donkey of the day.
Lauren LaRosa
Yes, indeed.
Tank
The Breakfast Club.
Charlamagne tha God
Morning, everybody. It's DJ Envy. Just hilarious. Charlemagne, the guy. We are the Breakfast Club. We got a special guest in the building.
Lauren LaRosa
The icon living Dawn Stanley. Welcome back.
Charlamagne tha God
How you feeling?
Dawn Staley
Thank you, thank you, thank you. I usually come back when we win the championship. We lost this year, so thank y' all for.
Lauren LaRosa
Don't talk about.
Charlamagne tha God
Don't you start that. You're always invited. Well, the new book, Uncommon Favor, is out right now. Basketball, North Philly, my mother, and the life lessons I learned from all three is out right now. How are you feeling?
Dawn Staley
I'm feeling great. I mean, my friends have received their books and they have nothing but, like, great things like my cup running through.
Lauren LaRosa
They had you all over.
Dawn Staley
Yeah, they did. I gotta. I gotta give you a shout out. And you. You sparked the conversation. So many people have asked me to write a book and I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, like, yeah, right. But it came from so many different people. And then when I came on the show in 2022, we. We talked about it, and you just, you kept the conversation going. You're real persistent with it. You know, that's. That's what I'm attracted to most. It's like somebody that actually.
Charlamagne tha God
Persistent.
Dawn Staley
Yeah, persistent. And. And know the process. Like, you knew the process. I don't know if you knew my story, so to speak, but you knew enough to know that, you know, this, this book will be received well. And. And I appreciate that.
Lauren LaRosa
Well, people like you don't come around too often, Don. Like, you're a once in a generational just person, you know, and you really learn that when you read the book. Not even just as a coach, but as a basketball player, but more so as a child of Philadelphia.
Dawn Staley
Man, I mean, I had fun. Like, the process was fun. It's liberating. It is. You know, you don't really know how you're gonna be received, but every person, like, I'm actually waiting for a critic. Like, I'm waiting for somebody to say what didn't go right in the book. And we have yet to get to that point. And one of my friends was, you know, listening, had a long road trip, listened to the entire book yesterday, and she was like, I'm in tears, I'm laughing. I get it. Like, the leadership part of it. Like, I mean, the emotions that are in the book. And it's me. So some of it is emotional me. Some of it is just. I'm able to just get it out because I remembered most of it and I had to call on my siblings to kind of fill in the gaps. But it's me. Like, it's so me. It's so relatable. It was an easy process. So was it therapeutic at all to do it? No, it was this natural. It wasn't like it was natural. And I think sharing my story is just relatable to people. It's not like, you know, I don't think it's a overdo it with the accolades. It's like the accolades are intertwined and everybody's accolade won't be like Olympian and National champions, but on a certain level, like, if you graduate high school, it's relatable. If you graduate college, it's relatable. If you could pull yourself out of the projects of any city, it's relatable. And there's no wrong path. Like, there's no, like, you can get off tiltered. But Then you gotta come back by, like, habits come back by. The lessons in the book are just. It relates to every single thing that you would want to accomplish in life. And I'm not just saying that to pump the book, but it really is like, I'm only giving what other people are giving me, the feedback they're giving me. And it's cool to hear people just relate to the book.
Charlamagne tha God
I love it. Because, you know, people know you from different things, right? Some people know you as a player, some people know you as a coach. But with this book, it starts from where you came from, which is North Philly, right?
Lauren LaRosa
And you talk about Raymond Rosen housing.
Charlamagne tha God
Projects, and you talk about, you know, you said growing up in a project was the best decision your parents made. Explain that a little bit and how that formed to the woman that you are today.
Dawn Staley
Just imagine the people that don't grow up in a project. What you think happens in the projects, you think probably only one thing. Crime, like, bad things. And for me, it was the foundation of giving me the scars I needed, the chinks in the armor I needed to succeed. Like, there was unity in the projects. There was discipline in the projects. There was manicure lawns. There was my block I grew in. Never had trash in it. Like. Like, it was captained in a way that would compete with any suburban lawn, like, or neighborhood. So it was all those things that helped build you up. Like, I'm unbothered and unafraid to tackle on the most challenging things in life, because that's nothing compared to where I grew. That's nothing. Like. So I think it gave me the foundation I needed to just. Just be able to coach every day. Like, coach young people. Like, generations are changing. Coaching talent and individuals and young people nowadays is very, very challenging.
Lauren LaRosa
I love how you embrace your inner child. I love this picture on the back. What's a moment from your childhood that still shapes how you, like, handle pressure today?
Dawn Staley
You know, there's a story that I share in the book about my father, who. I mean, I'm over 50 now, right? But when he. I don't know if I was. I was 12, 14, maybe. I got invited to play on this team in this competition outside of Philly. Like, it was a road trip. And my father was like, no, you can't go. Like, that hurt me. Like, it really hurt me. And I remembered it so vividly that for him to deny me that. Cause it was one of the first times. But I'm 13, 14 years old. Whose parents gonna let them somebody else take their child out of state. Like, I wasn't thinking about that. I was solely thinking about basketball. But it was one of the, one of the experiences that drove me. Like I didn't, I didn't like my father for that. Like I didn't like him for the decision, parental decision that he made. But as I'm older now and reflecting on and writing the book, it is, I need conflict. I know that about myself that I need conflict. Like everything can't be comfortable. Like if I have, you know, 10 people supporting me, you know, here I need about 10 to 12 people that's hating. Like, I need it. I mean, it helps me.
Charlamagne tha God
Drives you.
Dawn Staley
It drives me like it drives me. That's why you said I don't have a critic yet. I'm waiting for a critic for the book right now. Right.
Charlamagne tha God
Hey, what up, y'?
Tank
All?
Charlamagne tha God
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Jess Hilarious
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Lauren LaRosa
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Mel Robbins
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Dawn Staley
So what happened at Chappaquiddick?
Jess Hilarious
Well, it really depends on who you talk to.
Charlamagne tha God
There are many versions of what happened.
Lauren LaRosa
In 1960 when a young Ted Kennedy.
Charlamagne tha God
Drove a car into a pond and.
Dawn Staley
Left a woman behind to drown. There's a famous headline I think in.
Jess Hilarious
The New York Daily News.
Dawn Staley
It's Teddy Escapes, Blonde Drowns. And in a strange way, right, that.
Jess Hilarious
Sort of tells you the story really.
Dawn Staley
Became about ted's political future, Ted's political hopes. Will TED become President?
Tank
Chappaquiddick is a story of a tragic death and how the Kennedy machine took control.
Mel Robbins
And he's not the only Kennedy to survive a scandal.
Charlamagne tha God
The Kennedys have lived through disgrace, affairs.
Tank
Violence, you name it.
Lauren LaRosa
So is there a curse?
Tank
Every week we go behind the headlines.
Lauren LaRosa
And beyond the drama of America's royal family.
Mel Robbins
Listen to United States of Kennedy on.
Dawn Staley
The iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast or wherever.
Jess Hilarious
You get your podcast.
Dawn Staley
So it's that is the ability like, you know, we lost at UConn this year, like, you know, the critics are saying I can't coach.
Lauren LaRosa
I didn't understand that. That pissed me off so bad.
Dawn Staley
I'm like, that's what they say. But I'm like, okay, well. But again, everything that I've needed in my life, you know, failure, success, happens to me. It's uncommon. Like. But I know our loss this year will somehow help us. It will. I'm not just relying on it helping us. I'm gonna put action to it so it means something.
Lauren LaRosa
I loved when you said that in a postgame conference, you was like, I hope that they're crying. I hope that my players are crying. I hope that it hurts. Because that'll make them be better next year.
Dawn Staley
Yeah, I mean, the most growth takes place when you're uncomfortable. The most. If you're comfortable all the time. And I've said this as well, like, parents really don't want their kids to feel. Feel what they felt like pain. And I'm like, I want them to feel a little pain. I want them to hurt. I want them to be uncomfortable. And I love them enough to allow them to. To sit in that space because. Not for long, but they. They need to fight their. Their way out of it because nothing's going to be given to me. I don't like that place. I don't like to feel that. So I. I fight like hell to try to not feel that by prepping, by doing everything I need to do, to not feel that. It's almost like when you grow up in the projects and you grow up in poverty, you don't want that anymore. Like, you don't want that once you've lived and you've, you know, earned a certain keep, you want to keep that because you want to change generations in your family. And I hope I'm able to do that.
Charlamagne tha God
We're still kicking it with Dawn Staley. Charlemagne.
Lauren LaRosa
You seem like you've always been a natural born leader, like, throughout your whole life, even when you was a child. So it made me wonder, if coaching never entered your life, where do you think your leadership would have shown up instead?
Dawn Staley
Oh, man, that's a hard question. Like, I'm competitive. I probably would have been a losing gambler. But trying like heck. Like, trying like heck. I don't know. I mean, I do. I love kids, so my work would have been with kids. And I'm glad that coaching found me. Like, I'm glad somebody saw something in me that I didn't see in my side. I didn't see coaching I didn't want to coach at all. And I don't know why, because I had great coaches. I had great people in my life that challenged me, that were good at it. But when I had coaching friends, the only thing they talked about were their teams and basketball. And I'm like, yeah, this is what I do every day. I do this every day. Why would I want to talk about it every day? Why would I want my life consumed with it? And here I am, 25 years later, loving it. I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing. And when you're able to live out your passion, it's the most beautiful, liberating, and incredible experience. I know my players really get something out of our relationship. They do. They build character. They navigate life. But for me, I'm overjoyed when they graduate. I'm overjoyed on draft night. I'm overjoyed when they're able to see their hard work, produce what. What they wanted. Like, even if they don't make it to the league, they're equipped with being successful with anything. Like, seriously. That does something to my heart when. When young people are able to get what they're supposed to get.
Lauren LaRosa
You know, you talked about your pledge. You got a lot of success stories from your time coaching at the University of South Carolina. But in the book, you make it no secret that Asia Wilson is your favorite.
Dawn Staley
Well, I mean. I mean, here's why. And I. I don't. I've coached a lot of great players. Like, Asia was the. The very first. That was the number one player in the country to decide she wanted to come play for us. And I know it's in her backyard. We didn't look like a national championship team. Like, we never won a national champ. We had never been to the Final Four. So for her to trust us with that part of her career meant that she believed in us. She trusted us. She knew that we were going to get her to where she needed to go. As far as still being the number one draft pick, like, four years later. Like, when someone. And it wasn't just her, it was her entire family believed in it. And it took some at times them thinking, did we make the right decision? Because she started her first game, and then she was terrible. Like, scrub, like, right?
Charlamagne tha God
Scrub like is pretty far.
Lauren LaRosa
That's far.
Dawn Staley
So I was like, I gotta take you out of the starting lineup. But I didn't even tell her that. I told her parents first. And her mom, Eva, was like, you sure? I'm like, you gonna have to trust me on this one, like, you just gonna have to trust me. And she was like, all right. But at the end of her freshman year, she was national rookie of the year. She was first team all sec. She was rookie of the year in the Essie's. Like, she got all the accolades coming off the bench. And when someone as a coach and leader and mentor, young people believe in you like they really do when that's reciprocated. Because I believed it, I knew that she was gonna be the one that takes us to that next level. When you're able to have the same synergy, you know, Asia was hell to deal with, right? Cause she's young. Like, she went to private school for, like 12 years. All of her schooling was a private school. So she needed to be roughened up a little bit to get her ready for what she faces. Like, she faces the critics right now, but I know she can handle them because we took her through all of that. Like, she had dyslexia right? Throughout her college career. And I'm like, okay, you gonna read in front of the team every time we have a game? Because we have, like, a scripture reading and an inspirational reading before every pregame meal, and there's somebody that has to read it. So I was like, you gonna read it? Took her her senior year, couldn't do it the first, second, or third. Her senior year, she read out loud and she had fun with it. She was like, y', all, this is a long one. Y' all gonna have to bear with me. Like, it was that kind of liberation. So when she gave her entire self to me, the good, the bad, the ugly, entire. You know, that's why I just have a really strong, like, relationship with her. Like, she could tell me anything. Like. Like I'm non judgmental. Like, young people won't want to tell you everything because they think you're gonna judge them. I don't judge. Like, there's nothing that any one of my current former future players can tell me that that's gonna rock me that I haven't seen. Like, everybody's been through. Like, there's no new problems. It's the same old recycled problems. So just give it here so you're not dealing with it longer than you need to.
Lauren LaRosa
You know, it's interesting, right? Cause I was watching you. You did Good Morning America, the View, Kobe, all of that stuff like that. So you was working, but I still know you're still the coach of the Carolina, but I was like, oh, you know what? She'll be Fine. Because she used to play ball and coach at the same time, which I found out about in the book. That was insane.
Dawn Staley
Six years.
Lauren LaRosa
That's crazy.
Dawn Staley
Six years. I mean, when I. When I got into coaching, I was, like, in my prime. So, you know, the AD at the time, he kept asking me, like, he was persistent. Like, I'm like, no, no, I'm not interested. I'm playing in the wnba. This is. And then he just kept asking.
DJ Envy
And then.
Dawn Staley
Then I ended up having to go meet with him because the Final Four was in Philly, and I'm from Philly. He knew I was gonna be there, so I went and sat down with him, and he asked me two questions. He was like, can you lead? Did you do your research? And I was like, yeah, I basically was the captain on every team that I played on. Right. And then he was like, can you turn Temple women's basketball program around? I was like, oh, is that a challenge? Like, is that really a challenge? Cause I'm drawing the challenges. And I never answered the question. I don't even think I answered the. He was like, hey, can you just come down the hall and meet some people? So I was like, okay, I'm here. He took me in this conference room, sat me at the head of the table, and there were, like, 10 to 12 people sitting around this table, and they're asking me questions like, where do you see yourself in five years? I'm, like, playing in the wnba. And they were like, do you ever see yourself coaching? And I'm like, no. Like, y'.
Jess Hilarious
All.
Dawn Staley
They were interviewing me. I was on a job interview, and I didn't know because all my job interviews were tryouts, like basketball, like, physical tryouts. Needless to say, I took the job. Two weeks later, they. They just agreed to allow me to continue to play and coach. So I was. I was in, like, basketball utopia, because I. I was coaching, and I. I'm actually still able to express myself on the court because I wasn't ready to hang up my shoes. I was still very much a player, and I think that allowed me to play a little bit longer than I wanted to, and that allowed me to keep staying fresh with what was up with. With teaching young people, because they were more enthralled with me playing, because that's what they wanted. Like, I was living their dream right before their very eyes. And I think it just helped me be a better coach, be a more understanding coach, because. Because I was a player receiving information from a coach, and then it helped the dynamics of what I was doing.
Charlamagne tha God
We're still kicking it with Dawn Staley. Her new book, Uncommon Favor, is out right now. Basketball, North Philly, my mother and the life lessons I learned from all three. Now, I wanted to ask about your father, right. You mentioned your father earlier, and you said your relationship wasn't that great, but you said it got better over the years. Do you understand some of the things that your father was trying to implement in you as a young girl? Cause they said that your father looked at women's basketball and felt there wasn't too many opportunities and didn't know if you could sustain at that time. And do you wish that you kind of put yourself in his mentality back then as a child? Because even with the name of the book, it says Basketball North Philly, my mother, but not my father. So explain that a little bit.
Lauren LaRosa
But not my father.
Dawn Staley
You know, I think even the one like family members that are, that are closest to you. Yes, I thought I, yes, I, I should have had. Had a much more mature outlook on, on that relationship. Now that you can reflect on it, now that you can see, because I, I held that and I, you know, if you can hear that, I still hold that instance. But when you, when you're coaching, right, you, you come into a, a situation where you hurt a player, like you hurt that player that was like, probably 12 years ago. I heard that player. Like it, it, it drives me to not hurt other players. And I wasn't mature enough or savvy enough to handle that at 12 or 13. So I, I do think it's, it's helped me be a better coach. It helps me be a better person to, to really like, I, again, I, I didn't talk about things I held that for my father. Probably didn't. Probably doesn't.
Jess Hilarious
He.
Dawn Staley
He's, he's been, he's been dead and gone since 2001. Like, I don't even think he really knew how much that hurt me. But also use that to navigate the nose like, I handle nos a lot better because of that.
Lauren LaRosa
I love the Respect the Power of Habits chapter. And in that chapter, you speak extremely highly of South Carolina's own Malaysia for Wiley, and you even refer to her as a younger, savvier version of you. You say, and this is a quote I heard from so many adults who gave their own parents help, only to see that teenagers return the favor. Now it's my turn in the barrel. So when I see you had, when I read that, and I was like, man, she had so much love for Malaysia what was your initial reaction when she decided to enter the portal? And was it surprising to you?
Dawn Staley
Surprising? No. I think, you know, being in this space, you become to expect the unexpected. Right? I still have much love for Malaysia. Like, much love. Like, I want her happy. She and her mom came in, she said, I think I'm going to get into the transfer portal. So I'm like, okay, well, you think or you know? And she said, I know. And I said, well, I only want you happy. Like, I really do only want our players happy, whether that's with us or somewhere else. Just be happy. I told her, don't look back. I know it's probably going to be hard to not look back to see, you know, you leaving your hometown and all that. I said, don't look back. Like, you made this decision. Just go, go forward with it and, and don't look back. You're always gonna be a gamecock. You're always gonna be welcomed here. I wish her the, the best. And when I say that, people probably think, oh, but I do like, I. I really do like, because I am what's for us is for us. What's not is what's not. Let's keep moving. I don't stay in despair. I don't stay in those spaces for very long. I'm like, okay, we gotta get recruiting. We gotta get back into this portal to see who we can get to help us. I think she's going to have a promising career. I do think she's a generational talent that will never leave. Like, she does things on the basketball court that I've never seen a woman do, and she'll continue to do that and will continue to be happy for her, except the one or two times that we have to play them like it's on. Like, it's just. She's going to be super competitive against us. We're going to. Going to want to win, and it's going to be a pride thing that comes with just being a competitor. And we got much love for her and her family.
Charlamagne tha God
Now this, this has nothing to do with the book, but I wanted to ask, since we're talking about players, you know, the WNBA has taken a huge jump in the last couple of years, and I love it. My daughters love it. My sons love it. What do you think what's going on in the WNBA where it seems like they're pitting, you know, Caitlin Clark against Angel Reese. Right. Kind of what they did in NBA back in the day, but it was more teams, right? I guess not. Maybe not teams. It was Magic versus Bird. This one versus. But this one, it just seems like, it seems very personable. So what are your thoughts? Like even the other day with that foul and they called it a flagrant foul. I don't necessarily agree, but what are your thoughts on it?
Dawn Staley
Well, I think the officiating has a hard job. That's one to decipher whether or not that's a flagrant one or not hard job. And I do think they understand the dynamics of angel and Caitlyn. I do. I think it's great for our game. Cause it's like, yeah, like, like it's a sport. Treat us like a sport. Don't treat us anything other than being a sport. It happens in every sport. Soccer, basketball, football. It happens in every sport. So let it be. I'm gonna, I'm gonna take the lead of angel and Caitlyn and that lead is. They said it was a, it was a foul. The, the officials got it right. We're moving on. That's what I'm, I'm gonna take their lead. Okay. I think it's, it pulls people in. I do think there are new fans that haven't watched our game and they really don't know. So they're only singly focused on Kate.
Lauren LaRosa
That one part.
Dawn Staley
Right, Right. So when you're that and that's their idol, that's who attracts them. But I just hope that they'll open their eyes to the rest of the talent that is there. Like the product. The product is incredible. Like, like. And it's in high demand. We played Caitlyn in the national championship last year. Right. 20 million topped off at whatever it topped off at the most. I know they saw us. Like, I know they saw us. I know they saw us have an undefeated season. I know they saw Camila Cardozo. I know they saw Ashlyn Watts. I know they saw Tessa Johnson have an incredible career or day. I know they saw Malaysia do some incredible things like, like so, so open your eyes up to seeing outside of Caitlyn. Well, not even outside included. Cuz she's a part of a part of it all. So. You know, I'm looking forward forward to the next time they play too. I'm gonna be glued in just like everybody else.
Jess Hilarious
Yes.
Lauren LaRosa
I want to go back to that, that, that chapter. Respect the power of habits. Right. When you talk about Malaysia, it is with such reverence. How do you balance disappointment as a coach with support for somebody like her who, who just wanted to make a decision for herself?
Dawn Staley
If a Young person is gonna speak on what they deem is good for them. That's half the battle. Like, half the battle is to be able to speak up. And you know how hard it was for her to do that. Like, really hard. Really hard. So I understand that dynamics of her decision making. And then it's like, okay, well, what'd he do with it? Like, if she was my player and there was a chance for her to want to come back, or if she decided that this is. That that's not what she wanted to do, I was going to talk to her about why. Why. Why did it come to that? What makes you think this isn't a place for what. Whatever she said we would. We would go from there. I thought Malaysia. Malaysia was getting better. Like, I really. I saw a whole lot of growth on and off the court to. To where LSU's gonna get the. The best of her now. Like, we went through the. You know, we went through the. The hard part of just kind of smoothing some rough edges and getting her to create good habits. Like, I do think habits are the thing that allows you to elevate. Right? I do. So I think what we've given her and what she's given us will allow her to have much better days, much more consistent days than she had with us at our next stop.
Lauren LaRosa
Well, thank you, Don. New book, Uncommon Favor Basketball, North Philly, My Mother and the Life Lessons I Learned from all three is available everywhere. You buy books. Books. Now go get it. You are guaranteed to learn something.
Charlamagne tha God
That's right.
Lauren LaRosa
You are icon living, Don. We appreciate your presence on this earth. We thank God for you.
Dawn Staley
Thank you.
Lauren LaRosa
And listen, I want everybody to remember that today Don Staley will be at the Barnes and Noble, Fifth Avenue in New York City. If you're in New York City, you can go see Don Staley at Barnes and Noble. 1pm today, 555 Fifth Ave. In New York. Go get a copy of Uncommon Favor. Signed, Don. Thank you again.
Dawn Staley
Thank you. Absolutely. Thank you.
Charlamagne tha God
Sean Sty. It's the Breakfast Club. Good morning. Morning, everybody. It's DJ Envy. Just hilarious. Charlemagne, the guy. We are the Breakfast Club. It's time for a positive note.
Lauren LaRosa
What we got? The positive note is simply this. Nothing that's for you will require you to act out of character to get it. Always remember that. Absolutely nothing. Have a great day. Breakfast Club. Y' all finish or y' all done?
Charlamagne tha God
Okay. Have you heard about this? Last year, the Green changed the formula for their Cool Rush deodorant. Their fans rebelled and wanted the old scent back and degree. Listen, that doesn't happen often. They admitted they effed up and are bringing the original Cool Rush scent back now. It's exactly how you remember it. Cool, crisp and fresh. It's the reason it's the one men's antiperspirant and it's back in Walmart, Target and other stores now for under $4. So try it and see what the fuss is about. Head to your local Walmart or Target to try the OG degree Cool Rush for your yourself. Show me how good it can get today, God and show the rest of the world what we already know it can't get. No better than being Hella black, Hella Queer, and Hella Christian. My name is Joseph Reeves. I am the creator and host of Hella Black, Hella Queer. Hello Christian, A fully black, fully queer, fully human, fully divine podcast. From iHeartMedia to Hella Black, Hella Queer, Hella Christian on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.
Lauren LaRosa
Readers, Katies Publicists, Finalists, and of course Kyle's. Listen up. The time has come. You've asked and we've answered the call. Las Culturistas is getting our own YouTube channel. You heard that, right. Check out full episodes, iconic interviews, visual bits and culture moments that'll change your life. We could not be more excited to launch the channel with the announcement of of our Culture Award nominations. So don't wait. Be sure to watch las culturistas on YouTube@YouTube.com las culturistas hey, I'm Radhi Devlukia.
Dawn Staley
And I'm the host of a really Good Cry podcast and I have the opportunity to talk to Vivian too. Whether you're trying to get out of debt, build wealth, negotiate like a boss, or just finally understand how to do money right, Vivian is the person to ask.
Mel Robbins
Not understanding your own money and not.
Dawn Staley
Understanding finances is there is risk for financial abuse. And that is why every single woman needs to be good with money. Listen to a really good cry on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. This is an iHeart podcast.
Detailed Summary of "The Breakfast Club" Episode Featuring Mel Robbins, Dawn Staley, and Tank on Arguments in Relationships
Release Date: July 7, 2025
Podcast Information:
The episode centers around the complex dynamics of arguments in relationships, featuring insightful conversations with notable guests Mel Robbins, Dawn Staley, and R&B singer Tank. The hosts—DJ Envy, Jess Hilarious, and Charlamagne Tha God—navigate through personal anecdotes, expert advice, and cultural commentary to unravel the nuances of disagreements within personal and professional relationships.
Monique calls in to discuss her tumultuous relationship with her partner, Joseph. She reveals that after conducting due diligence by researching Joseph's online presence, he responded by blocking her across all communication platforms. This led to significant emotional distress and health issues, including a yeast infection, which she suspects resulted from Joseph's unprotected relationships.
Notable Quote:
The hosts empathize with Monique, highlighting the importance of setting boundaries and recognizing unhealthy relationship patterns. Charlamagne emphasizes the value of self-respect and the necessity of ending relationships that drain one's emotional well-being.
Tank, an established R&B artist, joins the show to advocate for a more inclusive and representative R&B Music Awards. He critiques the existing award structures for their limited categorization, which often fails to capture the genre's vast diversity.
Notable Quotes:
Tank proposes the creation of the R&B Music Awards to honor the multifaceted nature of R&B, distinguishing between traditional and progressive artists. He underscores the importance of recognizing different aspects such as soul, songwriting, production, and performance within the genre.
Additionally, Tank shares his personal journey of expanding his career into acting, highlighting his recent role in "Hell's Kitchen" alongside Alicia Keys. This pivot showcases his versatility and commitment to evolving within the entertainment industry.
Notable Quote:
Mel Robbins, renowned author and motivational speaker, discusses her book and introduces the 'Let Them Theory.' This concept revolves around personal empowerment by relinquishing control over others' perceptions and actions, thereby reclaiming one's own peace and energy.
Notable Quotes:
Mel emphasizes that letting go of trying to manage others' opinions leads to personal tranquility and empowerment. She shares success stories of individuals who have transformed their lives by applying her theories, illustrating the profound impact of internalizing this mindset shift.
Key Insights:
Dawn Staley, an iconic basketball coach, delves into her book "Uncommon Favor," sharing life lessons drawn from her upbringing in North Philly, her family dynamics, and her illustrious coaching career. She emphasizes the role of resilience, leadership, and personal growth in both personal and professional spheres.
Notable Quotes:
Staley recounts her experiences with former players, particularly highlighting Asia Wilson, whom she praises for her trust and growth under her mentorship. She discusses the challenges and rewards of coaching, emphasizing the importance of building strong, trusting relationships with athletes to foster their development both on and off the court.
Key Insights:
In a humorous yet critical segment dubbed 'Donkey of the Day,' the hosts discuss a disturbing news report about Christian Alandro Solario Anguiano, a man arrested for stalking and sexually assaulting a woman by targeting her feet. The hosts use this incident to highlight the importance of community vigilance and stronger protective measures against stalking behaviors.
Notable Quotes:
The discussion transitions into broader themes of community policing, the significance of citizen intervention, and the need for comprehensive legal protections to support victims of stalking and harassment.
The episode concludes with the hosts delivering a Positive Note, encouraging listeners to stay true to themselves and avoid acting out of character to gain approval or control. They emphasize the importance of authenticity, self-respect, and maintaining personal integrity amidst societal pressures.
Notable Quote:
This episode of "The Breakfast Club" offers a rich tapestry of discussions ranging from personal relationship dynamics and self-empowerment to cultural representation in music and effective leadership in sports. With engaging interviews from Mel Robbins, Dawn Staley, and Tank, alongside candid conversations with callers, the show provides listeners with valuable insights and actionable advice for fostering healthier relationships, building supportive communities, and pursuing personal and professional growth.
Key Takeaways:
By weaving together personal stories, expert opinions, and cultural critiques, this episode serves as a comprehensive guide to navigating the complexities of modern relationships and societal expectations.
This summary captures the essence of the episode, ensuring that listeners gain a comprehensive understanding of the key discussions, insights, and practical advice shared by the hosts and guests.