Ask and It Will Be Answered

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Brilliant Idiots – "Ask and It Will Be Answered"

Episode Information:

• Title: Ask and It Will Be Answered
• Release Date: August 1, 2025
• Hosts: Charlamagne Tha God, Andrew Schulz, and Dove

---

1. Introduction to Privacy on WhatsApp [00:01 - 00:30]

The episode opens with Charlamagne Tha God discussing the privacy features of WhatsApp. He emphasizes that personal messages, whether text, voice calls, or password sharing, remain confidential among friends and family.

Notable Quote:

Charlamagne Tha God (00:01): "On WhatsApp, no one can see or hear your personal messages... your personal messages stay between you, your friends, and your family. No one else, not even us."

---

2. Personal Updates and Plans [00:40 - 04:35]

Dove's Upcoming Trip to Australia: Dove shares his plans to travel to Australia for a few months to film "Street Fighter." He expresses nervousness about stepping away from his regular routines, including comedy and podcasting, for an extended period. The hosts discuss the challenges of staying creative and maintaining a connection with the audience during his absence.

Notable Quotes:

Dove (02:24): "I'm a little nervous about going out to Australia for a couple months."

Andrew Schulz (04:16): "Andrew, we're not here. Andrew's in Australia. He's filming Street Fighter right now."

---

3. Personal Grooming and Relationships [07:50 - 12:55]

Andrew's Waxing Routine: Andrew Schulz humorously discusses his frequent Brazilian waxing, highlighting the social dynamics and personal confidence associated with the process.

Dove on Parenting and Personal Growth: Dove reflects on fatherhood, sharing anecdotes about his 17-month-old daughter and the joys and challenges of storytelling and nurturing her development.

Notable Quotes:

Andrew Schulz (07:56): "The hair looks better because it grows in finer. It kind of looks like when the vagina... has a certain appearance."

Dove (07:09): "My daughter's 17 months... she loves, like, birds... she just lights up."

---

4. Sports Discussions: NBA and the Knicks [22:14 - 24:40]

The hosts delve into an analysis of the NBA, focusing on the New York Knicks' prospects for the upcoming season. They debate the team's chances amidst player injuries and organizational changes, comparing it to other teams like Cleveland Cavaliers and Oklahoma City Thunder.

Notable Quotes:

Andrew Schulz (22:19): "Knicks got a clear path next year."

Dove (24:03): "We still got to beat whoever comes out of the west."

---

5. Life Lessons: From Dumb to Wise [25:01 - 25:27]

Addressing listener questions, the hosts discuss how making mistakes contributes to wisdom. They emphasize learning from both personal errors and observing others' missteps.

Notable Quote:

Andrew Schulz (25:01): "Smart people learn from their own mistakes. Wise people learn from the mistakes of others."

---

6. Reflections on Political Commentary and Media [30:06 - 39:43]

Jon Stewart's Impact: The conversation shifts to the influence of Jon Stewart on political satire. The hosts praise Stewart's role in shaping the genre and his potential candidacy for President, highlighting his integrity and commitment to meaningful discourse.

Media Influence: Andrew Schulz critiques mainstream media outlets, suggesting that they often echo or react to the opinions expressed on platforms like their podcast. They discuss the challenges of maintaining independent viewpoints amidst media pressures.

Notable Quotes:

Andrew Schulz (37:02): "Jon Stewart is the Michael Jordan of political satire. He created a whole genre."

Dove (34:35): "They are aggregating their news stories through our opinions."

---

7. Listener Questions and Personal Anecdotes [47:15 - 58:18]

Talent Recognition and Collaboration: Andrew shares his experiences in recognizing and nurturing talent within the entertainment industry, attributing his collaborative spirit to influences from rap groups like Wu-Tang and iconic figures like Frank Sinatra.

Darkest Moments and Humor: Dove recounts a challenging moment involving his father, where he received unexpected slap, leading to uncontrollable laughter. This incident is humorously tied to his "villain origin story" and underscores the role of humor in coping with adversity.

Notable Quotes:

Andrew Schulz (47:15): "I've always understood collaboration, and I think I got that from rap... strength in numbers."

Dove (61:29): "So it was that moment that might be the moment I turned into a Batman supervillain, yo."

---

8. Parenting Advice and Generational Wisdom [18:57 - 20:49]

Dove's Advice to New Dads: Dove offers heartfelt recommendations for new fathers, highlighting the sleepless nights, anxiety, and immense joy that come with parenthood. He encourages breaking generational curses and being present for their children.

Andrew's Parental Insights: Andrew echoes similar sentiments, sharing wisdom passed down from his mother about unconditional love for one's child. He criticizes absentee fatherhood and emphasizes the importance of active involvement in a child's life.

Notable Quotes:

Dove (18:57): "Get ready for no sleep for the rest of your life... you are going to be so tired, but it is just so incredible."

Andrew Schulz (20:12): "My mom told me, just love your child. That's the best advice."

---

9. Pop Culture and Fictional Worlds [40:26 - 44:19]

Choosing a Fictional World: Listeners ask the hosts which fictional worlds they'd like to live in. Andrew opts for Wakanda or Zamunda, expressing admiration for their cultural richness and leadership. Dove contemplates joining the Ocean's movies, imagining life alongside icons like Clooney and Damon.

Harry Potter World: The hosts discuss the allure of Harry Potter's universe, praising J.K. Rowling's creation and its enduring popularity through amusement parks and media adaptations.

Notable Quotes:

Andrew Schulz (40:46): "I'm going to Wakanda, bro. Wakanda or Zamunda."

Dove (43:20): "They are doing that as the movie. Too big to cancel."

---

10. Concluding Remarks and Final Listener Questions [58:18 - 67:08]

Final Listener Interactions: The episode wraps up with responses to last-minute listener questions. Topics range from marital advice to self-reflection, as the hosts continue to blend humor with personal insights.

Notable Quotes:

Andrew Schulz (60:20): "They wouldn't want any attention outside of from us."

Dove (67:17): "They have a way of cutting deep, man. They got a way of cutting deep."

---

Closing Thoughts

Throughout the episode, The Brilliant Idiots blend humor, personal anecdotes, and insightful commentary on various aspects of life, from technology and relationships to parenting and media influence. The hosts maintain a conversational and candid tone, engaging with listener questions while sharing their unique perspectives.

Final Quote:

Andrew Schulz (67:27): "But if you listen to this podcast and you think we're just a couple idiots who don't know shit, you're right too. It's the Brilliant Idiots podcast."

---

Note: Advertisements, intros, outros, and non-content sections have been excluded from this summary as per the instructions.

Transcript

[Charlamagne Tha God]

On WhatsApp, no one can see or hear your personal messages. Whether it's a voice call message or sending a password to WhatsApp, it's all just this. So whether you're sharing the streaming password in the family chat or trading those late night voice messages that could basically become a podcast, your personal messages stay between you, your friends, and your family. No one else, not even us. WhatsApp message, privately with everyone.

[Andrew Schultz]

The McDonald's snack wrap is back.

[Dove]

You brought it back.

[Andrew Schultz]

Ranch snack wrap. Spicy snack wrap.

[Dove]

You broke the Internet for a snack?

[Andrew Schultz]

Snack wrap is back. Ba da ba ba ba ba. Yep. Charlamagne. Tha God. Andrew Schultz, we are the Brilliant Idiots podcast back for another week of brilliant idiotness. Listen, man, we decided this week we. That we were just gonna sit back and just do a whole bunch of asking idiots. So if anything happens this week that we should be talking about. Sorry. Okay? This is just about y'. All. All right? Okay, let's start it off, man. CBGLeadx says, if a gay man wrote you a letter, would you tear it up or write him back?

[Dove]

I mean, I think it depends what's in the letter.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah, I need more context. First of all, why would I tear it up even if he wrote me a letter telling me how he thinks I'm the most attractive person in the world? Thank you.

[Dove]

Yeah, that's a nice thing.

[Andrew Schultz]

Thank you.

[Dove]

Don't take a compliment, guys. Don't be so insecure.

[Andrew Schultz]

Like, who gives a fuck? Why would I tear it up? Oh, I'm sorry. Cbg, Leo. Eight times you were asking us for advice. Write the guy back.

[Dove]

Yeah, write it.

[Andrew Schultz]

Write him back. Write him back.

[Dove]

Nobody's judging you, man. If you had it going on that day, you had it going on that day.

[Andrew Schultz]

That's right. Now, what did he say? Did he write you a letter that says, will you let me sodomize you? Yes. No, Maybe. You know what I mean?

[Dove]

What if he said, if you want me to sodomize you, tear up this letter into little pieces.

[Andrew Schultz]

Damn. Like the way I'm going to tear your asshole up into little pieces.

[Alex]

All right.

[Andrew Schultz]

Shit. God damn. Write him back. Cbgle. 8 times. Oscar B. Savage on him says, the most important question. How are you guys doing? Love you guys. Thank you, guys.

[Dove]

Aw, Oscar. Thanks, Oscar.

[Andrew Schultz]

How are you doing, Schultz?

[Dove]

Man, I'm doing good.

[Andrew Schultz]

Are you?

[Dove]

I am, I am. I'm a little, like. I'm a little nervous about going out to Australia for a couple months.

[Andrew Schultz]

But at least your family gets to go with you.

[Dove]

My family's Gonna come with me. Which I think makes it great. And yeah, it's like, I don't know, I haven't. I haven't like gone somewhere for multiple months and not done comedy or podcasts for I don't know how many years. Like, this is gonna be years.

[Andrew Schultz]

It's gonna be interesting to see.

[Alex]

He's gonna go crazy.

[Andrew Schultz]

No, no, it's gonna be interesting to.

[Alex]

See you don't stop.

[Andrew Schultz]

Cause I could be completely wrong. But it's gonna be interesting to see how you feel being that constrained.

[Dove]

Hmm.

[Andrew Schultz]

Being in one place for two months on a set. We know how that game is. Hurry up and wait. You know, you used to being on stage, doing your comedy the way you wanna do it. You're doing the podcast the way you want to do it. It's going to be interesting to see how you still feel about Hollywood after that.

[Dove]

Yeah. Yeah. I think I'm going to have to do stand up while I'm out there.

[Alex]

Yep. I was just going to say I.

[Dove]

Think I got it.

[Alex]

I was like, I give it two weeks. He's going to find a stage, he's going to be gone.

[Andrew Schultz]

And you don't like, would you like.

[Dove]

I think what it. You know, you have your shoot days, you got to be there all day. But the days that you're not shooting, you know, I'll pop into some comedy club or whatever and you know, just try to get back on stage and work on some jokes, you know, same. So I think I'm gonna have to just. Cause I need a creative outlet. I need, you know, that's the thing that I'm a little bit like, I would say concerned about, like, what happens when I've been going non stop for 15 years and then for two months I am going to be doing the movie, but it's not that much work. Like movies, you got lines, no improv. I think we're going to be able to flow a little bit and mess around. It'll be fun and I'm excited for the idea of it and like, being a new country with my family. Be cool. But that is the thing I'm a little worried about.

[Andrew Schultz]

I can't even believe we sitting here lying to the people. We're not here, guys. Andrew, we're not here. Andrew's in Australia. He's filming Street Fighter right now. Okay. We did this episode in advance. Yeah.

[Dove]

I got to zoom in or something. I got to like just do little pop ins with y'.

[Andrew Schultz]

All. What you mean y'?

[Dove]

All?

[Andrew Schultz]

We're here now.

[Dove]

No I'm saying.

[Andrew Schultz]

Okay.

[Alex]

No, we need more.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah, we definitely need some more episodes in the can. How long you going? Six weeks.

[Dove]

I'm gonna go six weeks. But there's a chance that they move schedules around and shit like that, so. It could be. It could be. I come back in October.

[Andrew Schultz]

I really cannot wait to see how you feel when you come back. Don't get me wrong, you've done tv, you've done movies and shit, you know, over the last few years, but this is different.

[Dove]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schultz]

Going away for two months, no standup, no podcast.

[Dove]

I don't know.

[Andrew Schultz]

I can't wait to see. I really can't wait to see.

[Dove]

That's why I gotta do stand up.

[Alex]

Yeah, he gonna go crazy.

[Dove]

I'm gonna go crazy.

[Alex]

Like this nigga's gonna go crazy.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah, I'm going with you.

[Dove]

So. So I think my. I think my wife might come, like a couple weeks in, and I was about to just go out alone. I actually hit up Dove. I was like, bro, I don't know if I want to just be alone in Australia. Like. And then du's like, you want me to go with you? And I was like, yeah, maybe just pop in with me for like the first week.

[Andrew Schultz]

Got shit to do.

[Dove]

I mean, he got a summer. He just bought a house and he.

[Andrew Schultz]

Got a summer family is what I'm saying. You know, I don't mean that in a bad way. I'm just saying he don't have no. Like you don't have nothing. Go out there with your friend of.

[Dove]

No, he's. He. He offered it, which I was like, bro, yeah, I'll take that.

[Andrew Schultz]

You might find your wife. There's some nice Jewish woman in Australia.

[Dove]

Yeah, he could find a nice Australian dude.

[Alex]

A Jews out there.

[Dove]

Yeah. The dreidel is upside down, though. It spins on the stick part.

[Andrew Schultz]

Because, you know, listen, Dove is. Dove wants him a nice Jewish woman. I don't have any problem with that. You know what I'm saying? And whoever the Dr. Umar is in the Jewish community doesn't have a problem with that either. Go pee with your kind.

[Dove]

I think the only person has a problem with it is Dove's dick.

[Andrew Schultz]

Damn. No, no, no, no, no. Dove's dick wants one thing, his heart wants another.

[Dove]

That's what I'm saying.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yes, that's right.

[Dove]

His dick wants Brazilian girls that can barely speak English. But his heart. His heart wants a beautiful, intelligent Jewish girl.

[Andrew Schultz]

That's why you want to go to Australia. Dove ain't fooling nobody. Dove did one Google Search thought he had some beaches. He was like, maybe there's more Iggy azaleas out there. You know what I'm saying? That's what he did. Charlie Marciano says, when was the last time you did something for the first time? Ooh, God damn. Charlie Marciano, that is a great motherfucking question. When was the last time you did something for the first. I know it. I know I have. I just can't think about what it is right now.

[Dove]

I think when you got kids, it's like every day you do something for first time with him.

[Andrew Schultz]

Like, that's true.

[Dove]

I just. I just got to, like. My daughter's 17 months, right? So almost a year and a half. And, like, I just started telling her stories. Like, she doesn't. She doesn't really understand, but she understands, like, the buzzwords in the story. But I'll be like, do you want to hear a story? And then she'll be like, yeah. And then I'll just say the buzzwords that she really loves. She loves, like, birds. She loves, like, her bear. She loves these different things. And, like, she'll just light up, right? And so she is computing what's being said.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah.

[Dove]

And then. And then I'll be like. She'll go, she does this. She goes, this means more. She'll be like, more.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yep.

[Dove]

And that's the coolest thing in the entire world. Like, making up stories for your kid. Yeah.

[Andrew Schultz]

For me, the only thing that keeps coming to mind is getting a wax. Getting a Brazilian wax.

[Dove]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schultz]

But I've done that quite a few times already. I'm actually due right now.

[Dove]

While you're growing out.

[Andrew Schultz]

Hey, I get one every six weeks now.

[Dove]

So what does it look like before you go in?

[Andrew Schultz]

I mean, it's actually. The hair looks better because it grows in finer.

[Dove]

Finer.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah, and a little bit more softer. So it's like. Oh, you know what I mean? It kind of look like. It kind of looks like a. Like, when the vagina. Like, have you seen a vagina? When the vagina head starts to grow back, it starts to look like that.

[Dove]

My shit look crazy right now. My shit.

[Andrew Schultz]

Go get the wax, bro.

[Dove]

My big hair, bro.

[Alex]

I'm too pussy.

[Andrew Schultz]

It's worth it.

[Alex]

I couldn't go back.

[Andrew Schultz]

You didn't go back?

[Alex]

Nah, just that.

[Andrew Schultz]

Oh, I didn't. Been like, I'm a pro.

[Dove]

I don't even know what my pubic hair looks like. Bernie Sanders. That's where I feel the burn. Like, it has never been combed. It's long. Some are Curly, some are straight. It's a bad situation.

[Andrew Schultz]

I love it. I love it. It's easy. You know, me and the waxer have a great relationship. We talk. We have conversations.

[Alex]

Oh, you cheating.

[Andrew Schultz]

My favorite part.

[Alex]

You can't keep seeing the same lady who's seeing your dick every time.

[Andrew Schultz]

I'm not switching it up, bro. It's only a few people you trust letting them see the. So the soft. You know what I'm saying? There's only a few people you trust letting her see Young Flaccid. You know what I mean? You can't just let anybody see young Flaccid. Cause I'm a grower, okay? Not a show. All right? You know what I mean? It took years to gain the confidence just to pop out in front of the wife.

[Dove]

Yeah, you gotta beat it a couple.

[Andrew Schultz]

Times for a wife. Nah. But she's seated at his best, you know what I mean? So it's like, nah, These kids will humble you, bro.

[Dove]

I was in the shower. I get out of the shower.

[Andrew Schultz]

Oh, wow. Segue. After talking about it.

[Dove]

No, no, it connects, okay? My. I'm in the shower. I get out of the shower. My wife is there with my daughter. My daughter stares and points at my penis and goes, mama, dang.

[Andrew Schultz]

What the fuck?

[Dove]

I'm like, I don't know who that's more insulting to. My wife, for me.

[Andrew Schultz]

Exactly. So what is she saying? Your mom got a hairy vagina and a long clit?

[Dove]

I don't know. I hope not.

[Andrew Schultz]

Jesus. What's going on here, bro?

[Dove]

Mama, I'm like, yo, get out of here with all that.

[Andrew Schultz]

While she was just saying, that's what mama likes. Yeah.

[Dove]

She's like, mama needs that. That's what I'm talking about. Yes, Mama does need that.

[Andrew Schultz]

Oh, God.

[Alex]

What's the last new dish you guys had, like, food.

[Dove]

I'll be honest, bro. I'm not really trying new dishes, man.

[Andrew Schultz]

Not really.

[Dove]

I think the last new dish I tried is I went to this Indian restaurant, Bungalow, you know, Bungalow.

[Alex]

I thought she's talking about it.

[Dove]

Yeah, yeah. It was fire. And then he had a bunch of dishes that were. That were fire. But, like, when I'm going out to eat, man, I've usually eaten a version of whatever the I'm eating. I'm not. I'm not being too adventurous.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah, I had some fil.

[Dove]

Don't feel it.

[Andrew Schultz]

I was going to say I had some filling.

[Dove]

P.

[Andrew Schultz]

Filling, Pia. I had some filling, Pia. It was pretty good.

[Alex]

It's so funny how bad you are, yo.

[Andrew Schultz]

You should have. You should have. I could feel my brain, bro. I was trying.

[Dove]

I could feel it as I was responding. I could feel him thinking I was like this. Trying to get me, man.

[Andrew Schultz]

I don't know why that one just so tough for me, bro. Israel Locke says gay dad or thought mom.

[Dove]

I mean, that's such a. Like a. Like a hacky, like, Internet question.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah. If you had a gay dad, wouldn't be here.

[Dove]

Also, if you had a. Yeah, that's true.

[Andrew Schultz]

But unless you're a butt baby.

[Dove]

Yeah. Or adopted. That's the most common way.

[Andrew Schultz]

Or he went gay.

[Dove]

Also, if your dad's gay, he's a thot. So it's like they're both dots. Either way. There's no way that you could.

[Andrew Schultz]

You might be a gay dad who met one guy that turned you out.

[Dove]

Get the fuck out of here, bro. Yeah. Out here getting dick.

[Andrew Schultz]

Gay dad or thot mom? I guess it just depends on. Bless you.

[Dove]

Thank you.

[Andrew Schultz]

Gay dad. A thought, mom. I mean, one has a big pussy, the other has a big butthole. It's like, that's the. Really the choice.

[Dove]

If your dad's a bottom bro.

[Andrew Schultz]

Damn.

[Dove]

If your dad's a bot.

[Andrew Schultz]

Which one sucks dick better, though? That's the question. Does the gay dad or the thot mom suck a cock better?

[Dove]

Gay dad because he knows the source material.

[Andrew Schultz]

People say that, you know, it's so funny, man. It's the wildest shit in the world. Like, you ever heard a girl be like, yeah, he taught me how to suck dick.

[Dove]

He.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yes. No, that's my point.

[Dove]

I never heard that.

[Andrew Schultz]

Like, how. How does a man teach you how to suck dick?

[Dove]

Instructions, but based on. No, no, no, no. I've educated a few. Yeah, yeah. You just tell them what we like.

[Andrew Schultz]

Who's we?

[Dove]

Men.

[Andrew Schultz]

We don't. I know what you like. You know what you like.

[Dove]

You know what I like.

[Andrew Schultz]

I'm just saying, you said we. I know what I like.

[Dove]

I mean, I would go out on a limb and say that we all probably like a similar thing.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah, yeah. Getting our dicks up.

[Dove]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schultz]

Okay.

[Dove]

Okay. And there's probably similar things that we all enjoy.

[Andrew Schultz]

Okay. Okay.

[Dove]

100%.

[Andrew Schultz]

Migwally says rank everyone in the room, from straightest to gayest.

[Dove]

I mean, Al's the gayest.

[Andrew Schultz]

Easy call.

[Dove]

That's not even a question.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah, yeah. You the gay. You don't think so? No, I don't.

[Dove]

You definitely the gayest.

[Andrew Schultz]

Why you don't think you're the gayest?

[Alex]

The way he sits sometimes in a chair.

[Dove]

Like he sits gay.

[Andrew Schultz]

You look it like you.

[Dove]

Nail polish.

[Alex]

That's the only thing you got on me.

[Dove]

That's. Yeah, that's a big thing.

[Andrew Schultz]

And you got your ankles out. You're not wearing shorts.

[Alex]

I mean, your legs is shiny.

[Andrew Schultz]

I got on shorts. Nah, you got your chest.

[Alex]

You got waxed legs.

[Dove]

Come on.

[Andrew Schultz]

I don't know, bro. I think it's Alex the gayest then Chris just cause of his love of Taiwan Lady Boyz.

[Dove]

Yeah. You know that he made a mistake. You know what I mean? Are we really supposed to believe that Chris checked the oil every time? Like. Nah. Sometimes he just takes it and you don't ask, right?

[Andrew Schultz]

Yes. Straightest person in the room is definitely Taylor, I'll give you that.

[Alex]

Yo, even though she's been with a woman though.

[Dove]

Even though that's not gay though, okay. Oh, yeah. Women can't be gay unless they strap.

[Andrew Schultz]

Not even with the strap. I don't think gay. Nah.

[Dove]

If you strap, you're gay. But if you've taken dick from a strap, I think that makes you more straight.

[Andrew Schultz]

Really?

[Dove]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schultz]

I don't think you gay if you got the scrap, bro. I think if you a woman and you walk around with the scrap, it's a tool.

[Dove]

Why don't gay dudes have like a vagina strap?

[Andrew Schultz]

Because they don't want no vagina.

[Dove]

No, but like, they don't want vagina because it's attached to a woman. But if a guy had a vagina, they would. The vagina feels way better than pla.

[Andrew Schultz]

But they got the bussy.

[Dove]

Yeah, but the bussy is not even close to as good as vagina. So why don't they get the vagina strap? So a thing that just straps to their back.

[Andrew Schultz]

I don't know if the busy is as good as vagina. I ain't never had no busy.

[Dove]

You never had butt sex?

[Andrew Schultz]

Nah, I ain't never had no butt sex.

[Dove]

You never put it in a girl's butt?

[Alex]

No, no way.

[Dove]

Come on.

[Andrew Schultz]

But that. Wait a minute. A girl's butt, which I've never done, is not the same as a man's butt.

[Alex]

Yes, it is, Charlotte.

[Andrew Schultz]

Tell us more, Alex. That's why you're the gayest in the house. The floor is yours. The floor is yours.

[Dove]

Tell us. Tell us why.

[Andrew Schultz]

It's his.

[Dove]

Shit. How do you know? Okay, that's what you know.

[Andrew Schultz]

I believe you. I take your word for it.

[Dove]

Nah, come on. How do you know? Al. What?

[Andrew Schultz]

Really? He knows.

[Dove]

Tell us, Al. I just. Whatever you trying to. Look, you trying to look at the bottom of a dude's feet, bro.

[Andrew Schultz]

Get out of be like, God damn, that's wild. Oh, my God. Forget that ass.

[Alex]

I know that.

[Andrew Schultz]

In the bottom of a man. Oh, my God, bro. By the way, that's the wildest shit in the world. When you would. You are the like top tier gay. When you lay on your back and throw your legs up in the air, let a man fuck you.

[Dove]

That's crazy.

[Andrew Schultz]

Shout out to you. I'm be honest with you. Those guys like that, that's great. Absolutely. Let me know that. That's why people can be born gay.

[Dove]

What?

[Andrew Schultz]

Those are the best representatives for gay men, bro. The men that lay on their back and throw their legs up and take that dick like they getting missionary. They are the ones that let me know you are born gay. Okay? You know what I mean? No, that's right.

[Dove]

Cause if you fuck a dude, if you fuck a dude missionary, there's no lying to yourself that they're not a dude.

[Andrew Schultz]

You know what I'm saying?

[Dove]

If they bend over, you could probably do some mental gymnastics and be like, ah, it's really a girl's eye.

[Andrew Schultz]

Close your eyes. Imagine whatever you want to imagine. But you got the guy laid up missionary, legs in the ass, staring at you. And the way my. The boy for your butthole to be positioned in that way for a man to be able to. You missionary, yeah, you got to move.

[Dove]

Your balls out of the way.

[Andrew Schultz]

Born gay, bro.

[Dove]

Pull your balls up. God damn, your balls up. The balls are like a little mud flap.

[Andrew Schultz]

Our gay listeners that listen to Brian idiots that do that. Does the guy get bricked up? When you a missionary like the guy you're.

[Dove]

You hold it like a jet fighter.

[Andrew Schultz]

You maverick over there, bro. Imagine playing Pac man while you pounding some guy out.

[Dove]

If you want Pac man, yo.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yo, yo. I am Pac Man. Hey, yo, that's how you bring back Marvel. Kevin Feige, give us Pac Man.

[Dove]

Okay, no, that's crazy.

[Andrew Schultz]

Rally. Allo, says Charlotte. My best friend Rob passed away at 31. If you could say a prayer for him, he was a big fan of the show. We'd always quote all the funny things you guys would say. I will pray for Rob when I get home. I am sending you healing energy, Raleigh. Oh, man, that is horrible. Passing away at 31 is. I think about that a lot.

[Dove]

Sorry, dawg.

[Andrew Schultz]

I am grateful for every year. You cannot shame me. Calling me old. None of that hurts me because I promise you, if I would have died at 31, I would have never experienced the Life I'm experiencing now at 31, I think I was back home living with my mom in Moncks Corner, S.C. then got fired from radio four times, collecting unemployment checks. So I would have never got to experience the last 15 years of just this incredible life that I've lived. You know what I'm saying? So it's just like, yo, 31. You know how young 31 is.

[Dove]

It's crazy.

[Andrew Schultz]

Sorry for that, brother Rob. I don't know. I would like to know. When I hear people pass that young, I want to know what happened.

[Dove]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schultz]

You know, just from. Just from my own.

[Dove]

You need an explanation.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah, I need an explanation.

[Dove]

It doesn't make any sense.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah, I need an explanation. Why did he check out at 31? But I would definitely say a prayer for Rob later on. Raleigh, yo.

[Dove]

Sorry, my dude.

[Andrew Schultz]

Tequila. Poppy, what advice would you give to a new dad? Baby's one month old.

[Dove]

Oof. Oof. Boy, let me tell you something, man, is just. Just get ready for no sleep for the rest of your life. And constant anxiety and the greatest happiness that you could ever experience. Like, constant. I think all of us complain about the difficulties of being a parent because it is the hardest shit you ever do. But we wouldn't keep doing it if it didn't give you the greatest joy that you've ever experienced. So just get ready for, like, every picture that you see of your kid that your wife sends you to. Just put the biggest smile on your face you've ever had. It is just amazing. And you are going to be so tired, but it is just so incredible. So congratulations, and that's awesome. And break those fucking generational curses, man. That's the real shit right there. It's like, whatever your parents did that you did not, like, don't do it. And then if. And tell your wife, like, if you catch me doing this shit, call me out. Because I don't want, you know, my kid to experience the things that I experience. So. Yeah, you could change that shit up, man.

[Andrew Schultz]

I'm gonna give you the same advice my mom gave me. Tequila. Poppy. Just love him. That's it. You know what I'm saying? When I asked my mom, when I had my first child, I asked my mom, what's the best advice you can give me to the parents? She said, just love your child.

[Dove]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schultz]

And by the way, that's difficult for some people. I'm serious. There's a lot of guys, especially guys who don't want nothing to do with their kids, bro. Yeah, they ain't shit they not even around. They'll leave the kid with the mom. Don't see the kid, don't care about birthdays, raising them over FaceTime, Facebook. Some of them ain't even doing that. Like, yo, you gotta be. If you got a child that you haven't seen. And you know, you use the excuse that, oh, the baby mom's difficult. She won't let me see the child. You a sucker to me.

[Dove]

Yeah. Do whatever you gotta do to see that.

[Andrew Schultz]

Do whatever you gotta do to see that child, bro. Do whatever you fucking gotta do to see that child. Courts work, bro. The courts work both ways. Yeah, you know?

[Dove]

Yeah, that's a fact.

[Andrew Schultz]

So just love your child.

[Alex]

When do you sleep? Cuz you wait. No, but like, what time? Because you're up at what, three for a breakfast club, right?

[Andrew Schultz]

Four o'. Clock. I get up 4:15 every morning.

[Alex]

So like when, what time?

[Andrew Schultz]

Like 9:00', clock, 9:30. I'm asleep.

[Alex]

But there's times you'll be texting late.

[Dove]

Yeah. You do stay in places.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah.

[Dove]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schultz]

You sure?

[Alex]

Yes.

[Andrew Schultz]

It's auto pin, bro. That's like, I have. That's not me, bro. Like, like I don't. I mean, I try to go to bed 9 o', clock, 9:30, like literally. Because especially if there's nothing on TV, like, you know, But I'm. I've been really reading a lot this year. So I'm more into like the books and the comic books than anything else. Like I'm. I got a freaking graphic novel on me right now. I'm reading and I've been reading a lot of the books. I read all of the books that we put out on Black Privilege Publishing. But right now I'm reading Hardware Season 1. Salute to Milestone Comics, man. This is a fantastic read. But me and my. We be in the bed days are long. We be up at 4 o', clock, I'm up at 4 o', clock, my wife's up like 6 or 7. Taking kids to camp and all of that stuff like that. After the day is done, I'm shot by 10, 10:30, working out, you know, whatever else. I'm in bed 10 o', clock, 10:30, I could care what's going on in the world up at 4:15, like clockwork. So I get my sleep. I'm not one of them. But that sleep, sleep when you die shit is some bullshit. Yeah, you know, get your fucking rest. It's underscore, Lynn. Underscore. Not Lynn. Says, who becomes the champion first, Cowboys or the Knicks?

[Dove]

Shit, Knicks. I Hope the Knicks, Knicks, Knicks. I hope the Knicks.

[Andrew Schultz]

Knicks got a clear path next year.

[Dove]

How so?

[Andrew Schultz]

Damian Lillard's hurt. He's not even with Milwaukee no more. He's back with Portland.

[Dove]

Oh, Indiana.

[Andrew Schultz]

Indiana lost Miles Turner, and Tyrese Halliburton is hurt for the year. Boston. Jayson Tatum's out for the year. They got rid of poisoning.

[Dove]

It's like, yo, that is an interesting argument.

[Andrew Schultz]

The Knicks got a clear path.

[Dove]

That's an interesting argument.

[Alex]

We got Jordan Clarkson, right?

[Dove]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schultz]

The only, only team, the only threat to the Knicks is Cleveland, which is why I'm so shocked. That, and listen, I understand. No, I understand LeBron James wanted to get his money, but to me, it's like, yo, going to Cleveland.

[Dove]

There you go.

[Andrew Schultz]

For your last year, taking less money just to sign with that team because you were a free agent. You in the finals next year, easily. If LeBron James goes to join that Cleveland Cavaliers team, you take a little less money, you are in the finals next year, probably with a great chance to win them, and then you go out. Peace. I'm shocked that he didn't make that move. I really am. Now they trying to put together this LA team with DeAndre Ayton, and they got Marcus Smart now, and of course, Luka and Bron and, you know, Austin Reaves. I don't think they gonna have, I don't think they're gonna be deep enough to do it in the West. But if he went to Cleveland next year, yeah, everybody's hurt. It would have been Cleveland in the Knicks in the Eastern Conference Finals, which will probably still end up being Cleveland in the Knicks in the Eastern Conference finals. Like, that's the only two teams in the East. Am I missing somebody?

[Alex]

We might make it to the finals next year.

[Dove]

No, that's like, I'm thinking about this right now. I'm like, why did we fire Tibbs? Like, if, if this same team couldn't.

[Alex]

Get us to the Finals.

[Dove]

Well, he couldn't get us to the finals, but now the, the, the teams in his way are no longer there.

[Alex]

True. I know.

[Dove]

So maybe you give Tibbs one more year, see if you could pull it off. Wow, this is very interesting.

[Andrew Schultz]

I, I, Yeah. I don't know why they got rid of Tibbs.

[Dove]

We still got to beat whoever comes out of the west. Who's going to be nasty?

[Alex]

Yeah, but, but one step closer. I'm happy, yo.

[Andrew Schultz]

I mean, okay, OKC will probably be there next year again.

[Alex]

Probably.

[Andrew Schultz]

They got, they, they all, all their core is coming.

[Dove]

That's the thing, they're just going to get better because they got young guys then. The Knicks do not have an answer for OKC right now. So.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah.

[Dove]

Yeah, that's going to be tricky.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah. So definitely the Knicks. Abdon Cas 8 Abdon CAA says. What's something dumb that made you wise? Oh, my God. I got a million of those. Like. Like life. Like, nobody comes out the womb smart, bro.

[Dove]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schultz]

And nobody comes out the womb wise. There's a reason. There's a quote that says smart people learn from their own mistakes. Wise people learn from the mistakes of others. So what does that tell you? Everybody's gonna make mistakes. Either you're gonna make them right and you're gonna be smart and learn from them, or other people are gonna make them and you're gonna watch those people make those mistakes and be like, yo, I don't wanna do that. Life makes you wise all across the board.

[Dove]

Yeah, man. I gotta tell you guys about Chime. Listen, fees are everywhere these days. You're getting the processing fee for concert tickets, for cleaning fee for weekend rentals. There's mysterious fees everywhere, okay? And they hurt the most when you're down. And that's why Chime offers fee free banking, which means no monthly fees, no overdraft fees, no minimum balance fees. Sign up right [e-mail] idiots. I'm telling you right now, okay? You got to focus on free banking. Banks have all these hidden fees that are taking money out of your pocket that you desperately need. Chime is not going to let that happen to you, okay? You're going to have a little bit more money, which everybody needs right about now. Banking shouldn't cost you money. With Chime, there are no monthly fees, no overdraft fees, no minimum balance requirements. Why wouldn't you want that in your bank? Open your account in two [e-mail] idiots. That's chime.com idiots. Chime. It feels like progress.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Chime is a financial technology company, not a bank. Banking services and debit card provided by the Bancorp Bank NA or Stride Bank NA members. Fdic Spot me Eligibility requirements and overdraft limits apply. Timing depends on submission of payment file fees. Apply it out of network ATMs. Bank ranking and number of ATMs. According to US News and World Report 2023 chime checking account required.

[Andrew Schultz]

Salute to DraftKings. Join the fun on DraftKings Casino ranked the number one online casino experience. They've got everything you've been searching for. Thousands of exciting games, huge jackpots, exclusive offers and more. New players get a 10 day welcome offer 500 spins on Huff and more puff when you play. Just 5 bucks to start. Download the DraftKings Casino app, sign up with Code Idiots and spend your favorite slots. The crown is yours. Gambling problem. Call 1-800-GAMBLER in Connecticut. Help is available for problem gambling. Call 888-78-9777 or visit ccpg.org Please play responsibly. 21 and older physically present in Connecticut, Michigan, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, West Virginia only Boyd in Ontario. Eligibility restrictions apply. New customers only. Non withdrawable casino spins issued as 50 spins per day for 10 days. Ballot for featured game only and expire each day after 24 hours. See [e-mail] promos ends 8 hours 2425 at 11:59pm Eastern. Number one, based on Eilers and Krejek 2H24 product analysis. Now let's get back to the show.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

This episode is brought to you by State Farm Insurance. May all seem the same on the surface, but having insurance isn't the same as having State Farm. It's like getting a speech from your third cousins, plus one at your wedding. When you needed a speech from your best man, you wouldn't settle for just any speech. So don't settle. Settle for just any insurance. When it comes to getting the help you need, State Farm is the real deal. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.

[Andrew Schultz]

All right, let's do some more asking. Idiots. Man, you got some church announcement, Schultzie?

[Dove]

Yes, man. I'm probably. Maybe I'm already on my way to Australia, man, but are in Australia.

[Andrew Schultz]

We're playing this when you're in Australia.

[Dove]

We are. I'm already in my. I'm already in Australia, man. So, yo, Australia, what's up? If I see you on the streets and you see me with crazy long hair because I had to get hair extensions for the role, just know that still the same. Still the same og, you know what I mean? Yo, Australia, who's playing paddle? That's what I need to know. That's my church.

[Andrew Schultz]

Are you gonna have time to do all of that?

[Dove]

I don't know, bro. I'm not gonna be doing podcasts, so I think I'm gonna have some time for some paddle and some time for some stand up. I gotta get back on that stage. I'm already feeling the itch right now.

[Andrew Schultz]

Really?

[Dove]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schultz]

You got material?

[Dove]

No, but how it works for me is I just got to get back on there and I got to start feeling these things I got to start feeling the energy of the audience. Like, I gotta.

[Andrew Schultz]

What do you think's changed about you? I mean, of course, fatherhood. But I'm just talking about like even, you know, because I. It feels like there's always new levels of even stardom. You know what I mean?

[Dove]

It's weird being news. It's weird, like just things I say becoming news around the world. That's really like, I'm used to like, we would say being like some local stuff and like, or just a post on Instagram, but not like a international news story. It's like all these people taking it and then like all these people doing reviews of it and then all these people reacting to it. Like, I'm not used to that. So that is like, that's, that's peculiar. Like, I watched that happen to you. I watched that happen to Rogan. So that's like a new thing for me. And then it's, you know, there's the urge to be like, let me correct all these false narratives and all this shit. And then if you do that, you just arguing your whole life. So you had a great point where it's just like, just be funny about it all. Just respond with comedy and it wins.

[Andrew Schultz]

I. Listen, man, we've been saying this since way, way, way, way back in the day. Don't ever let nobody forget what it is you actually do.

[Dove]

Facts.

[Andrew Schultz]

You know what I'm saying? Because they'll take you and they'll try to lump you in to the space of like being this talking head. Especially you as like a conservative talking head. Like, you know me, I'm a liberal. But the funny part is, and this, this is what I like. And I see the same thing happening to you. If people know you and have been listening to you for a long time, they know what it is you're about. They know we're just subjective people who call bullshit on both sides. But if you've just been introduced to a person via this one interview or this one conversation, you just assume that, oh, this person is that. So it looks like you're flip flopping or it looks like you're all over the place. It's just like, no, you're just a person who calls bullshit on both sides.

[Dove]

And I could call bullshit for myself too. Like, I could be like, hey, listen, I believe this person. And then he lied about all these different things and then that's it. So it's like, I don't know what you want me to say after that.

[Andrew Schultz]

You know, who really has to Answer to that.

[Dove]

Who's that?

[Andrew Schultz]

Trump?

[Dove]

Yeah. I mean, yeah, more people do it, but I get. I also get why more people don't do it. Because the backlash you get is stronger. Like the backlash you'll get from the other side, if you will.

[Andrew Schultz]

Got you. Gotcha, gotcha.

[Dove]

So I understand why most people just retreat into the comfort of the tribe, right? Like, I could easily just defend everything Trump did. And then, like, Trump's side would just be like, yeah, rah, rah, rah, do it. But, like, to me, that just doesn't make any sense, because then you're not a unique, autonomous person. You don't have your own ideas, your own agency. So you got to deal with, like, the backlash for that's fine. Like, people can have whatever reaction they want, but, like, that is the cost to having your own opinions.

[Andrew Schultz]

But guess what? Ignorance is bliss.

[Dove]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schultz]

I love being oblivious to how anybody feels about what I said.

[Dove]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Schultz]

Aaron Magruder, my guy, Aaron Magruder, man, he says that about me all the time. And I think it's so funny. Cause I really don't be paying attention nor caring. Like, I'll do my donkey in the days. I'll. Come on Brian Adeas, Breakfast Club. I'll say what I say. Walk away. Somebody else would. I might be watching, yo. Literally, this happened to me a couple weekends ago. I'm watching cnn. It was Abby Phillips on a Friday night watching CNN like I normally do. And she played my donkey of the day from that day. Cause I gave Paramount Donkey of the day that day, right? And I'm just like, oh. And so I'm watching them have a discussion. You understand what I'm saying? So it's just like, I'm not looking for that. Yeah, right. And then, like, somebody like. Like my business partner or somebody will have to tell me, oh, this is going crazy. I'm never on X or Twitter or whatever the fuck you call. I'm never on that shit. So I don't be knowing. I see more about what happens with other people around me than I do with shit that happens to me. And I sent you the article. It was an article. It was. Well, I forgot what it was. It was some news story about you. And. And I thought it was. Oh, I saw you reposted. Which one was? Oh, it was when the White House responded to you. And in the corner, I think it was the New York Post or something in the corner of. You know how you see the other stories that they posted. Charlamagne. God criticizes Big Beautiful Bill. And I'm like, yo, why the fuck are we new?

[Dove]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Schultz]

You know what I'm saying?

[Dove]

It is ridiculous.

[Andrew Schultz]

It's actually ridiculous. Yo.

[Dove]

Yeah, but you know what?

[Andrew Schultz]

It is. But I thought about it. It's because the people on the news aren't allowed to have opinions.

[Dove]

So they have to react to ours.

[Andrew Schultz]

They have to react to ours. And msnbc, cnn, for the most part. You know what angle they're gonna take? Fox News, for the most part. You know what angle they're gonna take? The newsmaxes of the world. You kind of know what angle they're gonna take. None of them. You know, we're not journalists. We're talking heads. Right? So we can come on here and say how we actually feel. I can say, I think that this is an authoritarian strategy from Donald Trump in regards to Skydance, Paramount. They can't get on CNN and say that. So they gotta play me saying that. Yeah.

[Dove]

They don't get sued or something like.

[Andrew Schultz]

That and then have a conversation about it. We can come on here and say we think Republicans are lining up, you know, Donald Trump, and this is a coup from the Republican Party to get him outta here and take their party back. They can discuss what we said. It don't come from them. That's what. That's. That's my personal.

[Dove]

So they're aggregating their news stories through our opinions?

[Andrew Schultz]

Absolutely. I think so.

[Dove]

Wow. That's interesting. Because the cost of them having these opinions is too high. There's libel lawsuits and all that other shit.

[Andrew Schultz]

Or they may feel like that, but they've been waiting on somebody to say it.

[Dove]

Ooh.

[Andrew Schultz]

You understand what I'm saying? Maybe they. They feel like that's. They've been waiting on somebody to say it.

[Dove]

Yeah. They don't talk their shit. They react to us talking shit.

[Andrew Schultz]

I think, and I think about this during the last campaign, the last couple of years before the campaign, I think all of those criticisms that I was making about the Democratic Party, when I look back at it in hindsight, based off what everybody's saying now, they always wanted to say that then, so they were trying to ring the alarm about it. And I think even now, when they're talking about you, Schultz and the Rogans and the Candace Owens and all these other people that are criticizing Trump, they're just happy to finally be heard because they have been saying these things, but nobody wants to hear from y'. All. Cause y' all just the opposition.

[Dove]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schultz]

You know what I'm saying?

[Dove]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Schultz]

When you hear from the people who actually supported them. It's like, see?

[Dove]

Look.

[Andrew Schultz]

But they just don't have the courage to be like, he's right.

[Dove]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schultz]

Or rogan's right. So now it turns into a. They don't get to say that they voted for Trump. You're distracting from the point you're trying to make.

[Dove]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schultz]

You know what I mean? The point you're trying to make is that Trump lies and he's lied to everybody and he's a con man. Okay, cool. So listen to the people who supported.

[Dove]

Him, who got conned and.

[Andrew Schultz]

Listen. And who got conned and amplify that as opposed to beating up on those people.

[Dove]

Listen. It is what it is. Like, you're.

[Alex]

That might be an old story. So.

[Andrew Schultz]

No, they never.

[Alex]

You know what you should do in Australia?

[Dove]

What's that?

[Alex]

Bring back. Turn your phone.

[Dove]

If I got time, that'd be great.

[Alex]

I will have time.

[Andrew Schultz]

I just told him this.

[Dove]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Oh, yeah.

[Dove]

Yes.

[Andrew Schultz]

I literally just told him this yesterday.

[Dove]

Oh, okay.

[Alex]

Yesterday. Did I miss that either?

[Andrew Schultz]

Like, don't forget who you are and what you do.

[Dove]

It might be time.

[Alex]

It might be time.

[Andrew Schultz]

You know what I mean? It might be time. You ain't. That's the itch.

[Dove]

This is the climate, though. This is the climate.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yes. There's all this uncertainty. Yes. Man, you're a comedian. Where's the jokes in the smart pov? That's why. Yo, ain't nobody better than Jon Stewart. I thought about this shit the other day, man. Jon Stewart is the Michael Jordan.

[Dove]

You know, political commentary.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yes. He created a whole genre.

[Dove]

He did. He did.

[Andrew Schultz]

There was no political satire. Yo, I saw a stupid motherfucker on set. This is why I can't wait till we get those, like, teleportation holograms. So when you can pull up on people, like, right where they at. I saw a stupid motherfucker. Cause I reposted Jon Stewart a couple weeks ago when he was defending Stephen Colbert. Somebody left a comment and said, I stopped listening to Jon Stewart when he started talking about politics.

[Alex]

What?

[Andrew Schultz]

So somebody replied, so you stopped listening to him 35 years ago. The fuck are you talking about? Stop trying to sound smart when you don't know what the fuck you talking about. Okay? This is who Jon Stewart is, and he is the goat at political satire. We talk about genres, bro. The Daily show has produced so many stars, but all of them have gone on to do a genre that he created, for the most part. John Oliver, the Trevor Knowles of the world. What was the young lady's name. Samantha McBee, something like that.

[Dove]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schultz]

Samantha B. Samantha Bee. Samantha Bee. I'm sorry. Samantha Bee. Stephen Colbert, all of these people. But he created a genre that is still around 25 years later. And other people have gone other places and had massive success with. Yeah, he is. I can't think of a. More TV goat.

[Dove]

Yeah, I agree.

[Andrew Schultz]

Carson, maybe who did Carson. I don't even know who Carson made.

[Dove]

But that's the other thing. I don't think you have the people that Carson.

[Andrew Schultz]

That's what I'm saying.

[Dove]

Yeah, it's. And I'm sure Carson did put on plenty of people, obviously comedians and stuff, who got that break on Oprah, maybe. Yeah.

[Andrew Schultz]

Cause Oprah gave us Dr. Phil, Dr. Oz.

[Dove]

I mean, if you.

[Andrew Schultz]

Rachel Ray, if you're a comedian, you.

[Dove]

Had like a great. You had a great appearance on Carson. Like, that was your mate.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dove]

So, like, he did have that effect too. But yeah, John's. John. The fruit off of John's tree is remarkable, man.

[Andrew Schultz]

Come on, man. And he's still the best at what he does.

[Dove]

It's incredible. It's really.

[Andrew Schultz]

And that's him all the time.

[Dove]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schultz]

Like, if you've ever been around Jon.

[Dove]

Stewart, it's what he cares about.

[Andrew Schultz]

That is what he cares about. Which is why he should run for President of the United States of America.

[Dove]

Yeah. But what. What makes him so great is probably the reason why he would never want to do that.

[Andrew Schultz]

Why?

[Dove]

Because you don't want somebody who wants to run for president. Like, it should be something we almost force upon you.

[Andrew Schultz]

That's what I feel is with him. That's what I feel, though.

[Dove]

Yeah. That's why what I'm saying is I don't think he would ever do it.

[Andrew Schultz]

Because he wouldn't do it for selfish reasons.

[Dove]

Exactly. Like his Constitution isn't.

[Andrew Schultz]

I want power.

[Dove]

And the people who want power oftentimes are the people who don't make the best leaders.

[Andrew Schultz]

We gotta get Jon Stewart on.

[Alex]

He wants to help. If he wants to help people, the best way he can help people is running for.

[Andrew Schultz]

Running for president.

[Dove]

Yo, I would love. Can you make that happen?

[Andrew Schultz]

I want to see Jon Stewart.

[Dove]

I want to get Jon on flagrant forever, man.

[Andrew Schultz]

But you know, he really does. When Jon does something, he really, really has something to say. You know what I mean? But no, he definitely should come. I think Jon would be amazing on flagrant. He probably would wait for the right time, though.

[Dove]

Well, we are open door whenever he.

[Alex]

Wants to when he's announcing his presidency.

[Andrew Schultz]

Or maybe like around midterms. Yeah, I can see him. I can see him doing something like that. You should pull up. You should come up there one Monday.

[Dove]

I would love to. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll go next time you're doing it.

[Andrew Schultz]

Well, he works on Mondays. Yeah, but you should just pop up on Monday.

[Dove]

Yeah, I'd love to.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah. I bet you he'd love to see you. You'd be a hit in that building.

[Dove]

Yeah, it'd be cool.

[Andrew Schultz]

Cause all of the writers and stuff always talk to me about you anyway, so.

[Dove]

All right, well, that's fire.

[Andrew Schultz]

Trey Ball says if you could live in any fictional world, which would you choose?

[Dove]

Fictional world.

[Andrew Schultz]

Easy for me.

[Dove]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schultz]

I'm going to Wakanda, bro. Wakanda or Zamunda? What's Zamunda coming to America?

[Dove]

Oh, phew. I thought you had me. I thought you had me.

[Andrew Schultz]

Fuck, I thought you had me. You had me hooked. Wouldn't have made no sense. The moon da dick. You know what I'm saying? Zamunda, yeah. Would be amazing. The mundo, Wakanda. That's where I'm going.

[Alex]

But Zamunda, if you're not rich, like.

[Andrew Schultz]

That'S who's not rich as a munda. Everybody.

[Dove]

Who's got the king?

[Andrew Schultz]

The king.

[Dove]

All right. Well, damn. I don't know, Al.

[Andrew Schultz]

What do you then?

[Dove]

What fictional world you doing, Al?

[Alex]

First thing that came to mind was Harry Potter World.

[Dove]

Harry Potter's world is rough, bro.

[Andrew Schultz]

Like, he's the gayest in the room.

[Dove]

You just want to play with a wand.

[Andrew Schultz]

That's all he wants to do. You want to play with somebody's magic stick so bad. I got the magic in the room, bro.

[Alex]

Harry Potter is fun as hell.

[Dove]

Yo.

[Alex]

That is fire.

[Andrew Schultz]

Listen, you ain't got to tell me the Quidditch.

[Alex]

Quidditch is dope.

[Andrew Schultz]

If you want to ride a broom, just tell us, bro.

[Dove]

It's no big deal, man.

[Andrew Schultz]

I do ride the broom. Just ride the room, bro. God damn, man. You want to make a man's balls disappear? Abracadabra.

[Dove]

That's it.

[Andrew Schultz]

That's it, right? By the way, Hogwarts is fun. Like, have you ever been to Disney World and Universal Studios?

[Dove]

The Harry Potter World is incredible.

[Andrew Schultz]

Just riding the train at Harry Potter World.

[Dove]

That shit gave me motion sickness, bro. All that 3D I can't do. I got to be on, like, a real roller coaster. I can't do the 3D shit.

[Andrew Schultz]

I love it because my kids love it. My oldest daughter loved Harry Potter, and then two of my youngest daughters love Harry Potter. So I went this year. Like, literally, I was there this year when my daughter had cheerleading competition in Orlando. I like watching the joy of them watching this show and these books, this movie and these books they read and they're in the world, like buying them the robes, the magic sticks, and you know, you go to Harry Potter, you go to different locations. The magic sticks work. Being on the train. That shit. Yes, that shit is a fantastic world, Joe. And I was thinking about, what does that feel to be J.K. rowlings, to create a world that's so dope that they had to make a fucking amusement park of your shit? Yo, is she not allowed to be transphobic? When you say about Harry fucking Potter, you gave us Harry Potter. The person that gave us Harry Potter can't be transphobic. She is.

[Dove]

Think about it. Like, she is. Like, she's the last. I don't know if she is transphobic. Like, I would give pushback on that, but I know.

[Andrew Schultz]

I don't think she's transphobic.

[Dove]

Yeah, no, but like, some people would say her trans opinions are that she's like, she doesn't think trans women are real women. And like, there's plenty of arguments for that, but it is.

[Andrew Schultz]

What?

[Dove]

Like, she's like, you didn't go through this shit that we went through.

[Andrew Schultz]

Oh, no. Yes, it is. Okay. You mean it? Yeah.

[Dove]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schultz]

Okay, gotcha.

[Dove]

So I don't think she's transphobic. I don't think she, like, wants no rights for trans people. I don't think she wants to hurt trans people, but I think she's like, yo, there's a little bit of a difference here. And we need to acknowledge, bro, she.

[Andrew Schultz]

Gave us Harry Potter so she gets.

[Dove]

To do what she wants.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yes, man.

[Dove]

HBO is doing a whole Harry Potter reboot.

[Andrew Schultz]

They're doing the. The. The play that they do in Broadway. Yeah, they're doing a movie. Harry Potter and the Cursed Child.

[Dove]

They're doing that as the movie.

[Andrew Schultz]

They're turning it into a movie. I only know that because my 9 year old told me.

[Dove]

There we go.

[Andrew Schultz]

And I've seen that twice. I saw that when it was. Well, no, I didn't see it. I couldn't.

[Dove]

Too big to cancel, bro. Come on, man. Too big to cancel.

[Alex]

That's great.

[Andrew Schultz]

Come on, man.

[Alex]

It's Harry Potter live on forever.

[Dove]

Oh, what?

[Andrew Schultz]

Harry Potter?

[Dove]

Yeah, she created.

[Andrew Schultz]

She has an amusement park.

[Alex]

I know.

[Dove]

Yeah, bro, you mean game over, dude. It's nothing.

[Alex]

What fictional world, man?

[Dove]

I'm trying to think, like, what fictional world would be fun to live in.

[Andrew Schultz]

We don't even give J.K. rollins the credit she deserves.

[Dove]

She's the goat. She's the goat. I'm trying to think, man, what fictional world would I like to live in? I don't know, guy. That's a great, like, there's no, like, like, video game scenario I want to be in. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know how to answer that.

[Andrew Schultz]

I can see you in Mario Brothers.

[Dove]

Radio player one was all right. You know, Like, I know Mario Brothers. I don't want to be up and down the fucking pipes all day. I don't know. I genuinely wish I could answer this question. Like, what is the world that. Oh, you know what I'd like to be in? The Ocean's movies. Fictional world. Ooh, that is cool as fuck to me.

[Alex]

To be one of the guys.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah.

[Dove]

To be, like, be with, you know, Clooney, Brad Pitt, Matt Damon and them and, like, be doing them crazy heists and shit. That would be cool. That's a cool fictional world to live in. Absolutely.

[Andrew Schultz]

Should we do a bill? Yeah, let's pay some bills, man.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

When life brings the blah, add more yabba dabba doo with some tasty fruity Pebbles. Early morning meeting, blah. Someone brought the Pebbles. Yabba dabba doo. Run errands, blah. Head to the store for Pebbles. Yabba dabba. Do fruity Pebbles. Less blah, more yabba dabba doo. Pick up Pebbles cereal today. Yabba dabba doo and the Flintstones and all related characters and elements copyright and trademark Hanna Barbera. This episode is brought to you by ebay. We all have that piece, the one that's so you. You've basically become known for it. And if you don't yet, fashionistas, you'll find it on ebay. That Miu Miu red leather bomber, the cousteau Barcelona cowboy top. Or that Patagonia fleece in the 2017 colorway. All these finds are all on ebay along with millions of more main character pieces backed by authenticity guaranteed. Ebay is the place for pre loved and vintage fashion. Ebay, things people love. Learning through play starts with Lego Duplo. With Lego Duplo, toddlers can develop real life skills while having fun with colorful bricks made just for them. Large, easy to grip and and safe to explore. When children express themselves with Lego Duplo, they build patience, problem solving and empathy. See your child learn perseverance and self expression with everything they imagine and create. Visit lego.com preschool to learn more.

[Andrew Schultz]

All right, gang, gang. We need we going, we going. We going to do some law asking idiots and get on out of here. Ivan Blake says, in what point in your career did you start to notice other entertainers, potentials? Oh, immediately.

[Dove]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah, immediately. Like, I've always been a collaborative person, like, always. Like, I've always been the person who always thought that, you know, having a crew in whatever you was doing was dope. Like, this goes back to when I was doing radio Z93 jams. Like, you know, it would be me and this guy, Willie Will, and it was a young lady named Stormzy, a young lady named Vicky G. We was all kind of like the young ones coming up, so we kind of had each other's backs and it was the same thing. We went to Hot 9089, my guy D. Nice, and, you know, Divine Martino. And then when I was in Columbia doing radio with my guy DJ Frosty, we used to call ourselves the Future, you know, Venom. Like, you know, we were all salute to Venom. You know, Venom is a young woman, and we all were like a crew that had each other's backs. So I always understood collaboration, and I think I got that from rap, you know, growing up loving people like Wu Tang, watching, you know, record labels like Bad Boy and Roc, A fella. Like, I just always felt like it was strength in numbers, you know, reading about shit like the Rat Pack, you know what I'm saying? And how Frank Sinatra and Sammy Davis Jr. All of those guys, you know, came up in the same industries in the same fields and always had each other's back. So I always saw the potential in othertainers, entertainers. That's why me and Duvall started doing Hood State of the Union. That's why me and you started doing Brilliant Idiots. Like, I've always liked that. That's why, you know, I always say if whatever you build only benefits you, it's not big.

[Dove]

It's not big enough.

[Andrew Schultz]

Like, it's cool for you to make your money, but how many other opportunities are you providing for other people, for other people? You know what I'm saying? Like, I don't like, that's. That's always been my mindset. What about you?

[Dove]

How. How early did I notice talent in other people? I think I've always been good at, like, assessing talent, you know, and, like, understanding people who really got it and people who don't. I think I'm pretty, like, critical of, Of. Of greatness. And so I have high expectations for myself, but also for other people. So I'm not usually shocked by the success of certain people. You know, there are certain people that they might get some success, and I'll think, oh, maybe this is momentary or maybe they're just catching a thing. But. But yeah, it's. It's very rare that, like, I don't see greatness in somebody. And. Yeah. So I think that's kind of pretty early on.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah. And I think it's also the positions we were in. Right. Like, you know, if you're on guy code, you have no choice but to watch everybody else.

[Dove]

Yeah. And you see who's nice and you see who's not.

[Andrew Schultz]

Simple as that, you know? And so. And also going even back to guys like Jon Stewart, when you can watch a show like that and see him interact with somebody like Colbert, and Colbert goes on and has their own show and they're super successful for 10 years. Like, I, you know, John Stewart said some shit when he was giving Colbert's flowers the other night. He said watching Colbert become the number one late night talk show and take over an institution like the Late show has been one of the greatest joys of my life.

[Dove]

Yeah, it was really awesome.

[Andrew Schultz]

When he said about him, he was like, yo, when we left in 2016, Stephen Colbert went to stretch himself. He went to go challenge himself.

[Dove]

And I retired.

[Andrew Schultz]

I went home. I quit.

[Dove]

So likable. I moved upstate. Yeah, you like, I quit.

[Andrew Schultz]

You know what I mean? Like, God damn, yo.

[E]

Both of our shows reached an inflection point in 2015. Stephen chose to challenge himself by seeing if he could succeed the legendary David Letterman in, quite frankly, a much bigger pond than the one he and I had been swimming in. And I quit. I quit. I quit. Stephen challenge. I passed away. Steven challenged his abilities in the biggest field you could. And I literally went to a farm upstate. It's true. He did it. I didn't. And if I may, watching Stephen exceed all expectations in the role and become the number one late night show on network television has been an undeniable great pleasure for me as a viewer and as his friend.

[Andrew Schultz]

And. Yeah, man. And sometimes you just look at people and you're like, I want to be that good.

[Dove]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schultz]

And that keeps you being sharp. You know what I mean? Like, so it's just like. Yeah, I always recognize it, still recognize it. And that's how you become immortal, bro.

[Dove]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schultz]

Cause it's only but so long, you know, you gonna be that white hot thing. Jay Z said that on the New York Times interview. He was like, yo, you're only that white hot thing once. You know what I'm saying, so after that, it's about, okay, finding other people that can be that white hot thing, and just watching them have success, that's. I don't know. That's everything to me.

[Dove]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schultz]

Jtomp216 says, when do you know it's time to walk away from a partner? You gotta be nut.

[Dove]

Like, I think that. Get it out the system. You gotta take a few minutes to recover, you know, replenish the bodily fluids. So the second it comes out, you just walk away. Take a second, have a moment of peace for yourself, be grateful, thank God, and then you can come back into the picture. I'm assuming that's what you're asking.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah, I agree, man. I think it's time to walk away from a partner. When he moans, when you put it in. Doing too much.

[Dove]

This guy.

[Andrew Schultz]

You know what I'm saying?

[Dove]

This guy.

[Andrew Schultz]

Doing too much. I ain't absolutely doing too much.

[Dove]

Yeah. Yo, you making me not even want to have gay fun no more.

[Andrew Schultz]

I'm the gayest here.

[Dove]

Come on, man.

[Andrew Schultz]

Like, that's crazy.

[Dove]

You ruined gay fun by being too gay about it, bro.

[Andrew Schultz]

But that's what I mean. See, that's exactly what you would do.

[Dove]

What I do.

[Andrew Schultz]

If you put it in him and he moaned, you'd be like, all right, I don't want to do this shit.

[Dove]

Nah. Would not feel thick, huh?

[Andrew Schultz]

What? What?

[Dove]

I would feel thick if I put in an imone, I'd be like, all right, I'm thick.

[Andrew Schultz]

That is true, yo.

[Dove]

Like, you don't want to put it in. And he does nothing.

[Andrew Schultz]

We don't talk about that enough.

[Dove]

Yeah, you want some feedback? You don't think guys want feedback, too?

[Andrew Schultz]

We don't talk about that enough. You think we just assume everybody's gay? Some people are looking for ego boost. Yeah, you got some little dick. Men.

[Dove]

Slow down, Slow down. Like, you want to hear.

[Andrew Schultz]

I go, yo, slow down, slow down, little dick Minh. The only thing they can bust up is that booty hole.

[Dove]

Let me take a deep breath. Hold on.

[Andrew Schultz]

You know what I'm saying? Yeah.

[Dove]

You want. You want them to be struggling a little.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah, man. And that only works when you got a little dick inside a butthole.

[Dove]

Exactly.

[Andrew Schultz]

It's a fact.

[Dove]

You don't want them, like, cheering you on.

[Andrew Schultz]

You know what I mean?

[Dove]

Beep, beep, beep, beep. Can you imagine, son, that.

[Andrew Schultz]

Can you imagine?

[Dove]

That shit would be hard, somebody backing.

[Andrew Schultz]

Up on that digging.

[Dove]

No, no.

[Andrew Schultz]

You too excited, bro.

[Dove]

Yeah, slow down.

[Andrew Schultz]

You want to be my little Mac truck? You guys, Fizer Lou says that's old Aza Natural. How would an interview with your younger self go? Would y' all have the patience for it?

[Dove]

Oh, that'd be cool, man. That'd be really cool.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yes, I would have the patience for it. Of course.

[Alex]

For you.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yes, yes.

[Alex]

Easily, Charlie, you.

[Dove]

I think you would. I think you would have the patience.

[Andrew Schultz]

Easily. I see, like, all of these guys that are trolling, you know, the Matage, the Neons. You see me with those guys. That's. I. I know what that is. So you don't like easy? Who don't? I don't. I don't dislike it.

[Dove]

I think he has fun with it.

[Andrew Schultz]

I have fun with it.

[Dove]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schultz]

The only thing here's what the Prince.

[Dove]

Of pissing People off. You're not going to go rile him.

[Andrew Schultz]

Exactly.

[Alex]

No, no, no. I'm talking about, like. You don't like that they're going that route to make content.

[Andrew Schultz]

I don't like that. I know they gonna have to go through a lot of shit that I went.

[Dove]

Exactly. Yeah.

[Andrew Schultz]

So I know that you gonna get beat up.

[Alex]

Imagine you before you knew you had to go through all the shit you.

[Andrew Schultz]

Had to go through. I'm gonna tell him the same thing I tell them young dudes. You gonna get fucked up. This shit ain't gonna work.

[Alex]

Old you ain't listening to you now.

[Andrew Schultz]

Old me ain't.

[Alex]

I mean, young. You will not be listening, though, with old truth.

[Andrew Schultz]

No, no. Young me would definitely listen. Cause bullshit. Nah, Young me would definitely. You know why? Young me would definitely listen.

[Dove]

You don't listen to you.

[Andrew Schultz]

Now I know you know why young me would definitely listen. Cause I saw. I already saw people crash and burn doing that.

[Dove]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schultz]

I'm not the first of my kind.

[Alex]

Yes, but you kept doing it.

[Andrew Schultz]

No, I didn't. Yeah, but it really did.

[Dove]

You did the whole mouthful. So I don't think it's going to be anything.

[Andrew Schultz]

He went for it. It did.

[Dove]

It did.

[Andrew Schultz]

No, I would. I would have definitely listened to me. I would have 100% listened to Mia.

[Alex]

I don't think you would have.

[Andrew Schultz]

I'm telling you, by the way, I don't think people are listening to that. Wendy Williams literally said to me this year, earlier this year, I feel like I'm in the situation I'm in because of how I used to talk about people. Whoa. And if you're old enough to remember other shock jocks, none of it ended well for any of them black ones, all white ones. The only one who made it was Howard Stern. And that's because Howard Stern. Stern pivoted and everybody gave him shit for it.

[Dove]

And they still do.

[Andrew Schultz]

They still do. But God damn, that is what a sensible human being does. They get to an age like, I'm not doing this shit no more, man. You know what I mean? And then they grow. That's what you're supposed to do. I can name a million of them that didn't grow. And they not even around no more. That's just a fact. Black and white ones, they're just not here anymore. So, yes, I think. I think an interview with my younger self will go good. I wouldn't want to interview my younger self, though, because I might slip up and tell my younger self something that they needed to go through. You understand what I'm saying? Like, when you talk about Back to the Future and how they go to try to change things, I don't want to do that. I don't want to do that. You know what I'm saying? Everything went the way it was supposed. It happened for a reason. Everything went.

[Dove]

You got to embrace it.

[Alex]

What do I use, Schultz?

[Dove]

Would I interview my younger self? Yeah, yeah, Easy, easy. Yeah, that'd be fun.

[Andrew Schultz]

What would you tell yourself?

[Dove]

Do exactly what you did. Damn, I did everything I wanted to do.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dove]

You know what I mean? Like, I. Every, Every dream I had, I achieved. So I'm not going to tell you him to act any differently. I'm. I'm going to advise him. Yo, there's this shit is wild. Be prepared for it, you know, be ready and. But I can't. I can't be like, I regret what I did as a younger comedian because I got to achieve everything I ever wanted.

[Andrew Schultz]

Very true. L underscore Ray Negro says, would you do a pod with both of y' all wives? Hell, no.

[Dove]

They wouldn't want that. Our wives don't want any attention outside of. From us.

[Andrew Schultz]

None. My wife runs from cameras. Yeah. With that at all.

[Dove]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schultz]

And I, I, I would never do anything like that. I don't think that shit is cool. You know what I mean? No disrespect to people who do it, because it works like, you know, like the Dead Ass Podcast. They changed their name, though. What's the name of it now? The Devolves. The Devolved Podcast. That works for them. You know what I mean? I've seen some other things. I'm just like, why are y' all doing this? Like, I know. I don't know. I don't want. Yeah, I don't want that. Absolutely not. Yeah. Plus, she's the only person that can hurt my feelings.

[Dove]

They're good at that shit.

[Andrew Schultz]

Oh, man.

[Dove]

Man. I've been taking these supplements and I've been fucking with my stomach this whole month. My stomach been fucked up. And I'm like, I think it might have been the supplements. And my wife looks at me and she, like, she thinks about what she's going to say because she knows it's going to come out fucked up. And then she goes, well, like, do you feel like they've done anything for your body?

[Andrew Schultz]

God damn.

[Dove]

You've been poisoning yourself all month and your body still looks exactly like it looks.

[Andrew Schultz]

Right.

[Dove]

They have a way of cutting deep, man. They got a way of cutting deep.

[Andrew Schultz]

Um, man.

[Dove]

Right.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schultz]

No.

[Dove]

And here I am thinking I'm like, yo, my joints feel better. I'm justifying it and shit.

[Andrew Schultz]

It happened to me about a year and a half ago. Like, God, I think I'm getting fat. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I can see that.

[Dove]

Oh, it's. Isn't that. Isn't that crazy?

[Andrew Schultz]

What the fuck? Where's the positive reason?

[Dove]

Like, they don't ask us how their dress looks and want us to be honest. Like, get the fuck outta here with this shit. The second we ask for a little bit of validation when we're feeling insecure, they just fucking tomahawk dunk on our ass.

[Andrew Schultz]

You know what I'm saying? And then when you get right, like, who you doing all that for? Fuck you mean?

[Dove]

So you'll stop making fun of me.

[Andrew Schultz]

Aaron Lee, 13, says, Uncle Charlotte, how you gonna shame us big backs and be opening up Crystal? Hey, man, everything in moderation, you know, That's a good point. Everything in moderation. And Crystal also does have healthy things on the menu. Let's go. There is veggie burgers at Crystal. Let's go. My wife and I.

[Alex]

That's why your wife's fat shamed y'.

[Dove]

All.

[Alex]

Cause y' all fat shame everybody.

[Andrew Schultz]

Good point. Right? Absolutely right. My. We just opened up another one last week in Walterboro, South Carolina. The address is 12. Let me get the right address. It is 1222 Bells highway in Walterboro, South Carolina. They are open 24 hours and we have the original location that we opened up in Orangeburg, South Carolina, at 1486 Chestnut street in Orangeburg, South Carolina. So thank y' all to all y' all support, man. People really, really enjoy Crystal. It's one of those things. I'm telling you. People grew up on it in the South Grew up on it in South Carolina. And so now that it's back, it's just a nostalgic thing for people.

[Dove]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schultz]

Like, you know, it's a lot of older people that be like, yo, I'm so glad Crystal is back. So, you know, salute to everybody who's been supporting us in South Carolina. Oh, let's do a couple more, man. Isaac, underscore. Jbo, what's the darkest thing that happened to you that made you laugh?

[Dove]

Man, this. I don't think it's the darkest, but it was pretty dark. Taylor telling me I could run faster than your. Than your sperm swim. Damn, that shit. Like, when I was going through it, like, really going through it, and nobody. Y' all knew, but nobody else knew. That shit was. That was funny, man. That was one of those things where I realized that, like, I love jokes, because if I didn't love jokes, that would have hurt me, man.

[Alex]

I still think Charlotte Ghost wrote that one. Ghost wrote that?

[Andrew Schultz]

No, I did.

[Alex]

I think so.

[Andrew Schultz]

Taylor's a beast. I don't think y'. All. Y' all don't know Taylor like, I know Taylor.

[Dove]

Yeah. Nah, she don't.

[Andrew Schultz]

That's a little slick, evil motherfucker. That little motherfucker right there will say some shit. Boy, Taylor, man, this is. I'm not even. I'm not even joking when I say this. And it's even funnier now in light of the circumstances. When Revolt TV used to be at the Breakfast Club, there was one of Diddy's employees who used to always hang out with Diddy. Hang out with Diddy after hours, hang out with Diddy and Diddy and his sons. Like, he. Even to this day, he rocks with Diddy super, super hard. And so he was on Instagram, I guess, the day before, posting about how they was out. They was out with Diddy. Taylor walks in the room. It's all of it. We're in the studio. It's this busy studio. Taylor walks in the studio. You know, I already see. I'm like, she plotting something. She walks up to the guy. She goes, so how does it taste? Mind you, I'm just typing, right? I'm just not. He goes, what you mean? How does what taste? She goes, how does it taste? He's like, what? Just drink. It's good. He's like, no, no, no, no. How does it taste? He goes, how does what taste? She goes, diddy's dick.

[Dove]

Nah, she's crazy.

[Andrew Schultz]

Whoa.

[Dove]

That's crazy.

[Andrew Schultz]

That's crazy. Now.

[Dove]

That's crazy. No, that's Crazy. That's crazy. What do you do?

[Andrew Schultz]

I had to stand up and be like, taylor, let me talk to you for a second. Come here, Taylor gang. You can't say that to a man.

[Dove]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Andrew Schultz]

That was a bit far.

[Dove]

Unless it's on air.

[Andrew Schultz]

That was too much. Don't waste that. But that was too much. Cause this guy's in the room with a bunch of. You don't know how that can go. He's not the type of guy that put his hands on a woman. But you just don't know.

[Dove]

You don't know. You don't know.

[Andrew Schultz]

You know what I'm saying? Especially in light of everything we know now. Yeah. You don't know what he might have been forced to do. Yeah.

[Alex]

Oh, that was even before he got locked up.

[Andrew Schultz]

This one Breakfast Club was on revolt. This is years ago. Wow. Wow. Years ago. Damn. Yes, man.

[Dove]

She's vindicated now. Yeah, I know she is.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah. Yeah. The darkest thing that ever happened to me. I think about this often. I remember I was high as shit one night and I was living with my mom, you know, back in the day. I'm high as shit one night, I walk in. My mom would always leave me food out, right? Because she used to hate that I was in the street and doing a bunch of shit I had no business doing. But she would always leave me food out. So it was just like, you know, one of those great mother meals like spaghetti, you know what I mean? With the garlic bread and some corn and she had made some cinnamon rolls. And so I'm high as shit and I'm eating and I'm enjoying this shit. And my daddy comes out the room. I don't even remember what the fuck I did. I was wilding back at this time, so I don't know what the fuck I did. I'm sitting there eating, my daddy walks up to me, gives me a two handed slap. I mean pow, pow. Said something to me and just walked off. And I'm sitting there on the couch and I just start laughing like a maniac. Just laughing like I don't even remember crying. Just laughing like a fucking maniac. And just started eating the food. Mad ferocious. And if I I'm honest, that might be where the village in origin story started.

[Dove]

The villain what?

[Andrew Schultz]

The villain origin story.

[Dove]

So it was that moment that might.

[Andrew Schultz]

Be the moment I turned into a Batman supervillain, yo. Cause I don't even remember what I did to make my dad slap me like that, but it just made me laugh so hard that he would Oh, I know what it was. I'm bugging.

[Dove]

I was like, what was it?

[Andrew Schultz]

Cause all he had on was Fruit of the Loons. So I felt in my mind, I was in a wrestling match. So he had on like the red tighty whitey hair and he smacked the shit out of me with two hands. Whack. Whack. And I remember walking him walk. Watching him walk away in the. And I couldn't stop fucking laughing to save my life. That's what the fuck it was.

[Alex]

Did you ever ask him why he slapped you?

[Andrew Schultz]

No. You mean how many times I'd have to ask my daddy that shit? How many times my daddy has to slap the shit out of me? What the fuck are you talking about? My daddy used to put hand and foot to my ass constantly. Let's do one more. Let's do it. Puzzle headed dog, 1455. Do you believe masturbating to achieve post nut clarity can lead to a healthy marriage by combating the urge to cheat, obviously, in moderation. What? You told what? In moderation, masturbating or cheating? Puzzle headed dog.

[Dove]

My man's horny, bro.

[Andrew Schultz]

Horny?

[Dove]

Yeah, bro.

[Andrew Schultz]

You.

[Dove]

I mean, getting it out the system is important. You know, age will also calm your. Your need for nut. But if you need to get out the system, get out the system, bro. You know yourself better than anybody knows you.

[Andrew Schultz]

So who needs post nut clarity when you're married?

[Dove]

He does. Like, some people need a nut, a loop, bro. They need to get it out the system. They just need to get it out. It's like me with farts.

[Andrew Schultz]

All right, okay, guys, that's enough. As always, if you listen to this podcast, you think we're smart, you think we're intelligent, you think we're brilliant. You're absolutely right. But if you listen to this podcast and you think we're just a couple idiots who don't know shit, you're right too. It's the Brilliant Idiots podcast. Thank you for listening. Peace.