Transcript

Andrew Schulz (0:00)

All right, remember, the machine knows if you're lying. First statement. Carvana will give you a real offer on your car. All online. False. True. Actually, you can sell your car in minutes.

Charlamagne Tha God (0:10)

False.

Charlamagne Tha God (0:11)

That's gotta be true again.

Andrew Schulz (0:12)

Carvana will pick up your car from your door, or you can drop it off at one of their car vending machines.

Charlamagne Tha God (0:17)

Sounds too good to be true.

Andrew Schulz (0:18)

So true. Finally caught on. Nice job. Honesty isn't just their policy, it's their entire model. Sell your car today, too, Carvana. Pickup fees may apply.

Charlamagne Tha God (0:30)

Coca Cola for the big. For the small, the short and the tall. Peacemakers. Risk takers for the optimists. Pessimists for long distance love. For introverts and extroverts. The thinkers and the doers. For old friends and new Coca Cola for everyone. Pick up some Coca Cola at a store near you.

Charlamagne Tha God (1:01)

Yeah, I'm Charlamagne. Thgot Andrew Shawarian idiots podcast. Back for another week of brilliant idiotness. Hezekiah Walker.

Andrew Schulz (1:08)

Yes, sir.

Charlamagne Tha God (1:09)

How was your weekend, sir?

Andrew Schulz (1:10)

Man, I don't even. I don't even remember what days of the weekend. What's not the weekend? It's all, like, blending in.

Charlamagne Tha God (1:15)

Me neither, bro. Yeah, yeah, it's that time of year. I'm just trying to enjoy every moment of the holiday season. I like looking around. I like seeing the decorations. I like seeing the trees up.

Andrew Schulz (1:25)

You got the Christmas spirit.

Charlamagne Tha God (1:26)

Yes, man, I always got the Christmas spirit.

Andrew Schulz (1:28)

You a little b humbug, bro.

Charlamagne Tha God (1:30)

Nah, nah, nah.

Andrew Schulz (1:31)

Summary

The Brilliant Idiots – "Blockbusters Closed" (Dec 12, 2025)

Hosts: Charlamagne Tha God & Andrew Schulz

Overview

In this lively and often hilarious episode, Charlamagne Tha God and Andrew Schulz dive into a range of topics—holiday spirit, the meaning of Christmas, the ranking of iconic figures by ethnicity, the fallout of the Jason Derulo controversy, the explosive Diddy documentary, the shifting landscape of movies and live events, and the evolving podcast space. The discussion is irreverent, thoughtful, and packed with candid personal anecdotes, cultural hot takes, and plenty of the duo’s signature banter.

Key Segments and Insights

Holiday Spirit & The Commercialization of Christmas

[01:15–02:56]

Charlamagne expresses love for the Christmas season’s joy, while also lamenting how the religious aspect has faded:

"I do feel like people have taken the Christ out of Christmas in a lot of ways… I see Frosty the Snowman. Jesus is supposed to be number one." – Charlamagne [01:47]
Andrew jokes about who headlines modern Christmas:

"Frosty got front billing… Love a villain. The Grinch jumped to the front of the line." – Andrew [02:02]

Kids & Pop Culture’s “Hits”

[02:28–03:12]

Andrew notes how kids naturally gravitate toward "Rudolph," suggesting you could let children pick hit songs by their reactions, unburdened by taste or external influence.
Charlamagne asserts kids can sense authenticity and genuine joy in music.

Debating History’s Most Influential Figures by Ethnicity

Most Famous Jews

[04:22–08:02]

The crew debates the “top Jews,” focusing on Jesus, Einstein, Larry David, Adam Sandler, and others.
Charlamagne:

“Jesus, Moses, and Abraham…the only other three that can do that is Styles, Sheek, and Kiss, bro!” [07:49]

Top Black Figures

[08:03–16:34]

Listing and debating Black icons (from Michael Jordan and MLK to Oprah, Nelson Mandela, and Mansa Musa).
Schulz challenges:

"Is Michael Jackson the greatest black man of all time?" [11:59]
Charlamagne:

“Oprah changed the world… Black woman in the 80s with a name Oprah and dominated culture. The competition she had was unbelievable.” [16:01]

Top Asians

[17:54–23:10]

Struggle to classify iconic Asians, debating figures like Bruce Lee, Genghis Khan, Confucius, Dalai Lama, Jackie Chan, and even Hello Kitty and Goku.
“Asians dominate in terms of, like, successful... but the list is kind of boring.” – Charlamagne [22:18]

Jason Derulo Controversy: “Never Work With Women Again”

[23:21–38:52]

Reaction to Jason Derulo’s comments about not being alone with women post-dismissed sexual harassment allegations.
Hosts unpack false equivalency with racial prejudice, the nuances of PTSD, and the role of broad generalizations.
Andrew:

“If there’s a girl who had a horrible encounter with a dude from a certain race… she says she never wants to be alone with someone from that race, we’d deem that racist. Why is it different for gender?” [26:44]
Charlamagne:

“The PTSD is real… why would I ever put myself in that situation?” [26:39]
On media distortion:

“The media’s still doing it… put a headline, ‘I’ll never work with women again.’ But if you don’t understand the context...” [25:53]
Insightful debate on empathy, accountability, and cultural norms of stereotyping.

The Diddy Documentary (“Doc”): Power, Manipulation & Industry Culture

[43:25–76:17]

Both hosts are riveted (and appalled) by the new Diddy documentary.
Charlamagne:

“It’s a good reminder: don’t ever… you can’t get that power hungry… that’s gotta be in you already.” [44:45]
Andrew reflects on the nature of power and ego:

“If your goal is power or money, you’re in a difficult position because there will always be more, so you never stop pushing." [45:42]
Discussion of Diddy's relationships, manipulative tactics, and the broader music industry power structure:

"If you wanted to be a hip hop artist that had access to mainstream success, there were two doorways—Andre Harrell or Russell Simmons." – Schulz [51:16]
Reflect on complicity and silence in the face of wrongdoing:

“Never compromise yourself for a position… at the end, you’re just like Kirk Burroughs, angry over the choices you made.” – Charlamagne [68:48]
Lively debate about when and why bystanders finally come forward decades later.

The Decline of Movie Theaters & The Streaming Boom

[81:51–98:38]

Discussion on the Netflix/Warner Bros merger, Paramount’s aggressive moves, and the demise of the “blockbuster” era.
Schulz:

“The only way theater win is with massive existing IP… the days of making a $300 million movie and the whole world going to the movie theater are dead. This is the nail in the coffin.” [82:32]
Charlamagne defends the moviegoing experience for nostalgia and parenting; Schulz says at-home viewing is more convenient in most cases.

The Evolving Podcast Universe: Show vs. Podcast

[99:03–107:16]

Industry stats (600 million+ podcast listeners globally by 2026).
Schulz:

“Podcasting isn’t over… it’s just the new way to say ‘show.’ There’s nothing that isn’t a podcast.” [98:45]
They discuss the "celebrity podcast lick," how it’s drying up for the uncommitted, and why audio should remain foundational:

“Start with audio, then put the video on top. Otherwise, you’re doing a show, not a podcast.” – Charlamagne [103:31]

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

On Iconic Black Figures:

“The only trio that can do that is Styles, Sheek, and Kiss, bro! That’s a hell of a top three right there.” – Charlamagne [07:49]
On Christmas Commercialization:

“You got your little hot take. Christmas ain’t even about Jesus or whatever…” – Andrew [01:31]
On Diddy’s Power:

“The worst thing about being somebody like Diddy, there’s no benefit of the doubt… It’s not about what they say he did, it’s the stuff we know.” – Charlamagne [44:18]
On Taking Risks in the Industry:

“Never compromise yourself for a position… at the end of the day, you’re going to end up like Kirk Burroughs. Angry and upset because of choices you made.” – Charlamagne [68:48]
On Movie Theaters’ Decline:

“It's more enjoyable to watch a movie at the crib than it is in the movie theater.” – Andrew [85:24]
On the Podcast Industry:

“Everybody has a podcast… the celeb podcast lick is getting cut loose. If people actually can curate an audience, you’ll stick around.” – Andrew [102:16]
Charlamagne’s Take on Happiness:

“Are you happy? That’s how you measure success.” [115:26]

Fun & Lighthearted Bits

Icon Top Fives
The team’s chaotic attempts to list top five Jews, Blacks, and Asians—complete with jokes about “snoz” sizes and superhero powers, and playful ribbing over biases in selection. [04:22–23:10]
On Stereotypes:
Jokes about "parallel parking" anecdotes, driving stereotypes, and how generalizations crop up in everyday life. [31:16–32:22]
Batman Villain Play:
Who would they be? Joker, Penguin, Two-Face, with Charlamagne advocating for a dark Arkham Asylum TV show. [108:37–109:35]
Brilliant Idiots in Entertainment:
“Don’t give them all that credit. Brilliant idiot is a specific thing—you gotta own it.” – Andrew [112:57]
On Power Moves:
50 Cent’s “no foreplay” response to Diddy’s alleged threat, dissected as the coldest move. [114:01–114:21]

Episode Timeline by Topic

01:15–02:56 | Christmas spirit & how “Christ” left Christmas
03:12–04:46 | Kids’ instincts for music hits
04:22–08:02 | Ranking most influential Jews
08:03–16:34 | Debating top Black figures
17:54–23:10 | Attempting to list top Asian icons
23:21–38:52 | Jason Derulo, “never work with women” fallout
43:25–76:17 | Deep dive: Diddy documentary, power, complicity
81:51–98:38 | State of movies & the death of theaters
99:03–107:16 | The evolution of podcasts & industry trends
108:37–End | Audience Q&A, best Christmas gifts, Batman villains

Conclusion

The "Blockbusters Closed" episode is a prime example of the Brilliant Idiots’ blend of smart cultural critique and uninhibited comedy. From poignant observations on cultural trends, historical icons, and industry changes, to personal and often hilarious takes on current controversies, industry morality, and the future of content, Charlamagne and Andrew deliver both laughs and food for thought—always aware of their own status as “brilliant idiots.”

For listeners new and old, this episode offers a rich tapestry of debate, humor, and cultural reflection, all packaged in the duo’s unmistakable style.