Schlong Story Short

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Brilliant Idiots – "Schlong Story Short"

Release Date: February 27, 2025

Hosts: Charlamagne Tha God and Andrew Schulz
Episode Title: Schlong Story Short

---

Introduction

Charlamagne Tha God and Andrew Schulz kick off "Schlong Story Short," diving straight into candid and humorous discussions without the typical podcast formalities. The episode merges personal anecdotes, pop culture references, and sharp political commentary, maintaining their signature blend of idiocy and brilliance.

Matt Damon and "The Odyssey" Trailer (00:31 – 03:01)

Andrew Schulz shares his excitement about collaborating with Matt Damon on the trailer for Christopher Nolan's upcoming blockbuster, "The Odyssey."

• Andrew Schulz (00:44): "I am feeling blessed and highly favored, as Charlamagne would say."
• Charlamagne Tha God (02:20): "You just got to make sure it's like, good. And he's funny."

They discuss the ease of connecting with Damon and the creative process behind the trailer, highlighting Damon's versatility and collaborative spirit.

The Size Debate and Infidelity Tales (03:01 – 12:25)

The conversation takes a humorous yet candid turn as the hosts delve into discussions about penis size, accompanied by graphic humor and exaggerated anecdotes.

• Charlamagne Tha God (07:20): "I mean, are you saying Jimmy's gay?"

They explore societal perceptions of attractiveness and masculinity, touching on stereotypes and personal preferences with their characteristic irreverence.

Political Commentary: Government Efficiency and Elon Musk (12:25 – 26:43)

The duo shifts focus to a heated political debate surrounding government efficiency and Elon Musk's controversial role in federal operations.

• Charlamagne Tha God (14:12): "We have bipartisan support... we agree that it shouldn't just be this, like, what is it?"

They compare current efforts to streamline government with Bill Clinton's 1990s initiatives, advocating for transparency and constitutional processes. The discussion critiques attempts to privatize government investigations, emphasizing the need for elected officials' oversight.

Honest Relationships and Cheating (54:53 – 105:45)

Charlamagne and Andrew engage in a frank conversation about marital fidelity, honesty, and the complexities of long-term relationships.

• Charlamagne Tha God (122:46): "All I'm simply saying is, man, just be honest. What's wrong being honest with your partner?"

They share personal insights and societal observations, emphasizing the importance of trust and transparency between partners while maintaining a humorous tone.

Attractiveness and Male Beauty Standards (105:45 – 123:38)

The hosts debate societal standards of male attractiveness, discussing how skin tone and physical features influence perceptions of masculinity.

• Charlamagne Tha God (118:57): "I'm going to tell you, y'all are brilliant."
• Andrew Schulz (127:35): "He look like a bonfire. For real."

They critique the bias towards dark-skinned men in conversations about handsomeness, challenging traditional notions and highlighting the subjective nature of beauty.

Audience Interaction and Q&A (123:38 – 129:00)

Listeners submit questions that the hosts tackle with their trademark blend of humor and insight. Topics range from personal anecdotes to broader societal issues, keeping the conversation lively and engaging.

• Listener Question (Philomena1996): "Is an athlete at the top of their game or a musician more impressive to watch?"
• Andrew Schulz (119:55): "It's an athlete."

They debate the fleeting nature of athletic peak performances versus the longevity of musical careers, providing thoughtful yet entertaining perspectives.

Conclusion

Charlamagne and Andrew wrap up the episode by reiterating the importance of open dialogue and embracing diverse viewpoints. They encourage listeners to engage critically with content and appreciate the blend of humor and depth that defines "The Brilliant Idiots."

---

Notable Quotes:

• Andrew Schulz (00:32): "We are the Brilliant Idiots podcast. Back for another week of brilliant idiotness."
• Charlamagne Tha God (15:08): "Like, we voted for who we voted for, but we're still able to come in here and have objective, nuanced conversations about what's going on in this country."
• Charlamagne Tha God (53:10): "Steve Bannon says you fired thousands of federal staff. You're a parasitic illegal immigrant."
• Charlamagne Tha God (71:43): "Let people talk. Like you can't win everybody over."

---

Key Takeaways:

1. Collaboration with Matt Damon: The hosts share their positive experience working with Damon, emphasizing creativity and mutual respect.
2. Humorous Takes on Intimacy: Through exaggerated humor, they explore societal norms and personal preferences regarding masculinity and attractiveness.
3. Government Efficiency Debate: A critical examination of current political efforts versus historical initiatives, advocating for transparency and constitutional adherence.
4. Relationship Honesty: Emphasizing the importance of transparency and trust in long-term relationships.
5. Challenging Beauty Standards: An insightful critique of racial biases in perceptions of male attractiveness.
6. Engaging Audience Interaction: Addressing listener questions with humor and thoughtful commentary.

Conclusion:

"Schlong Story Short" exemplifies "The Brilliant Idiots" ability to navigate a wide array of topics with humor, honesty, and critical insight. Charlamagne Tha God and Andrew Schulz deliver an episode that is both entertaining and thought-provoking, staying true to their mission of exploring the issues of the day in a style that's often idiotic, sometimes brilliant, and always hysterical.

Transcript

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Now more than ever, Lowes knows you don't just want a low price, you want the lowest price. And with our lowest price guarantee, you can count on us for competitive prices on all your home improvement projects. If you find a qualifying lower price somewhere else on the same item, we'll match it. Lowes we help you save price match applies to same item current price at qualifying retailers. Exclusions and terms apply. Learn how we'll match [e-mail] lowest price guarantee. Yep. Charlamagne.

[Andrew Schulz]

Tha God, Andrew Schultz.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

We are the Brilliant Idiots podcast. Back for another week of brilliant idiotness. We have any pre rolls? Okay, let's start the goddamn show. Listen, let you know right now we doing this on a Monday, but how are you, Heather? Kyle Walker. How was the weekend?

[Andrew Schulz]

I'm feeling good, man. I'm feeling very good. I'm feeling blessed and highly favored, as Charlamagne would say.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You just announced the. Well, you announced the special already, but you dropped the trailer.

[Andrew Schulz]

That's the first time I really posted about it on Social. So I had that trailer drop that I showed you. That was really cool. Shout Out Damon Martian. Matt Damon, the legend.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

How did that come about?

[Andrew Schulz]

I just asked him.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You just hit him up. Like.

[Andrew Schulz]

I was like, yo, man, I know you are so busy. And this is like, there's. Please say no if this is at all uncomfortable. Also, I hate asking people for. And. And he was like, because he's going to film the Odyssey, you know, Christopher Nolan's new movie. It's gonna be the biggest movie ever. And he goes. He goes, hey, man, when were you trying to. When do you want to do it? And I was like, whenever you can do it. And he goes, well, I go to film the Odyssey. Friday. Yeah. So just before Friday, like anytime between like 8 and 3. That's when the kids are.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Does he live in New York?

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Oh, okay. Okay. Got you.

[Andrew Schulz]

So. And I was like, oh, my God. And then it's even scarier when he agrees to do it because you're like, I don't want to fuck this up. I want to make sure it's like, good. And he's funny.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Why Matt Damon, though? Because I feel like I thought Matt Damon was a great choice. He killed it. But then as I was thinking about it, that's Jimmy Kimmel's buddy.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Jimmy Kimmel has had a little smoke for you.

[Andrew Schulz]

I love him.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That's what I'm saying. It would have like.

[Andrew Schulz]

Jimmy.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Jimmy doing it would have been kind of crazy. Matt was crazy.

[Andrew Schulz]

Nah, Matt. Well, okay, so There's a couple reasons, okay? One is fucking Matt Damon. He's like one of the last.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Absolutely.

[C]

Absolutely right?

[Andrew Schulz]

And. And then two, it's like he's like the nicest, most likable dude, right? Like, in every role, he's the fucking hero. He's just. You love him. Every single role, you fucking love him. And I was like, what if he's, like, busty?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

And he's funny. Like, that's been in, like, comedies where he's done little. And I was like, all right, I know he's gonna be able to deliver. And then I hit him with the script and. And he was like, oh, this is. This is fun. And then he started coming up with ideas and, like, kind of riffing. That was. That was maybe the coolest part, being in the trailer with Matt Damon.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

Riffing on lines. That was.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

He looks like 20 years older. Is that for the role or He's.

[Andrew Schulz]

He's Odysseus. You a all time hater, bro. This is.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I'm not. Was that real?

[Andrew Schulz]

That's real, yeah. The Odyssey.

[D]

It's the name of the character.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

What'd you say it was?

[Andrew Schulz]

Oh, the Odyssey. You've. You've heard about the Odyssey? Yeah, but Homer's the Odyssey.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I'm not playing with you.

[Andrew Schulz]

We're not doing it.

[D]

No, this is the real one. Dead ass. This is a real one.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You are.

[Andrew Schulz]

You are a. An author. A New York Times bestselling author. You should know about the greatest story ever told, which is the Odyssey.

[D]

That book was long and boring.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I remember the book, but I don't remember what you're saying.

[Andrew Schulz]

Odysseus is the main character of the Odyssey.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I don't remember.

[Andrew Schulz]

I'm not trying to catch you. I could catch who I wanted.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

It feels crazy.

[Andrew Schulz]

I wouldn't catch his distance. Something else.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Oh, dissing. Diss in this dick.

[Andrew Schulz]

Jesus.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

But anyway, he still got that dick on his butt.

[Andrew Schulz]

He still got that dick on his butt. Taylor came in hot.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Unbelievable.

[Andrew Schulz]

Taylor came in and showed a guy's dick. That was absolutely huge.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Massive. That was insane.

[Andrew Schulz]

It was gigantic.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I mean, that did. I'm not even gonna listen. I'm not saying, like some gay shit. That was just like some Ripley's Believe it or Not. Like, I'm serious. Like that. I'm not. This shit was. This ain't even. It was. You see this? I'm doing. No, it was worse than this.

[Andrew Schulz]

Whoever's editing this, please put the line in. Before we started what Charlamagne said off Camera, but I think we were recording. Just put that line in right now.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

What was the line before we start?

[Andrew Schulz]

Charlamagne. Just kind of like looks down. He goes, man, I can't get that dick off my.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I can't get that dick out my mind. Yo, that shit. Why would somebody. You gotta see. I wish we could post it. Listen, what was. What's the guy name who died? Remember the big dude, the big brother that was sitting on the bed and his shit was just hang. This dude has bought three of those. Oh yeah, that picture that Taylor just showed us.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That shit ain't real, yo.

[Andrew Schulz]

We don't know how big he is. What if he's a midget with a normal sized penis?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah, man, that gotta be some subtle tricks or something.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, and also maybe the way he.

[E]

Was doing video though.

[D]

You can make AI videos.

[E]

I don't think.

[Andrew Schulz]

Why did I not even enter your. Like, you're a mother almost. Like, why are you even looking at these videos?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That look like a sawed off shotgun.

[Andrew Schulz]

Sawed off. That's the whole God damn helmet.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You wascally wabbit. You straight up. Can you imagine that? A motherfucker walking with that shit and look at your pussy and go, oh, you wascally wabbit. Like, Jesus Christ, man.

[Andrew Schulz]

What did Elmer Fudd say? What was his shit?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You wascally wacky.

[Andrew Schulz]

Wascally wabbit.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yes, it was. You wascally wabbit, wasn't it? Yeah, pull up Elmer Fudge.

[Andrew Schulz]

I thought I saw a puddy cat. I did, I did.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

But listen, this is great.

[Andrew Schulz]

You. Jehovah's Witness has no cartoon watching.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Elma didn't say, I thought I saw a puddy cat.

[Andrew Schulz]

I. I thought I saw a puddy cat. I did. I did.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Elmer Fudd said you wasly wabbit. Who said you wascally wabbit? Wasn't it Elmer Fudd? Imagine sticking your finger in that guy's dick hole. You remember how I used to stick the finger in Elmo Fudd's gun? What he say? You wascally wabbit.

[E]

I thought he say, you silly rabbit.

[Andrew Schulz]

Silly wabbit. Tricks are for kids.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No, that's a whole other commercial, man.

[D]

It's just.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Sh.

[D]

Be very quiet. I'm hunting wabbits.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Oh yeah, he used to say that too. Very quiet.

[Andrew Schulz]

I'm hunting rabbits now.

[E]

You guys are talking about that, huh? Well, what's the process of this?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

But just. Do you pay Matt? Are you just.

[Andrew Schulz]

No, you can't pay him. I don't have Enough money to pay him to do something like that.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Like, he just got to do it because he want to do it.

[Andrew Schulz]

He just got to do it because he's.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

There's a lot. Shout out to Matt Damon. Shout out to him. Man says a lot.

[Andrew Schulz]

And truly, like.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

But it's so funny. When I was talking to Jimmy one time, Jimmy goes, and I like shows. Matt put me on there as comedy respect. I remember he said that to me. He did say that to me.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yo, shout out. Jimmy, man. We love you, bro. We want to bring the old Jimmy back.

[D]

Man cave.

[Andrew Schulz]

Jimmy with me.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Jimmy, don't ever bring that motherfucker back.

[Andrew Schulz]

Then show Jimmy is.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

It's over. He did that already. Let the man live.

[Andrew Schulz]

But sometimes you gotta run it back.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

They gonna say that after they see the Life.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

And they're gonna be like, I want the old shows back. And that was just last year.

[Andrew Schulz]

I want the Blackface Schultz.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That was just. I don't know. I've never seen that version.

[Andrew Schulz]

No, I had a joke about blackface.

[D]

Oh, I told you.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

But that's what they're gonna say. They're gonna watch the Life, which is a fantastic special.

[Andrew Schulz]

Balls, man. Jimmy's a grown ass man. Obviously, things change in your life. Priorities change.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yes. Come on. Yes. It's okay to be gay nowadays, bro. Like, let that fly.

[Andrew Schulz]

Are you saying Jimmy's gay?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No, I meant, like, are you saying you're gay?

[Andrew Schulz]

What are you going on?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I don't mean gay in the fucking way. I mean, you know, I mean gay in the man cave way. What's wrong with y' all?

[Andrew Schulz]

It was.

[D]

You get gay in the man cave.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Oh, God.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yo, take your dick out of a man cave for a second, by the way.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Hey, show them that goddamn Captain Caveman. We can't put that shit on the podcast.

[Andrew Schulz]

Well, what is it?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I just. Okay, okay, this is what we can do. We can put the picture up and just blur it, and they will be able to tell by how big the blur is what this motherfucker is doing.

[Andrew Schulz]

Who?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

This guy that fucking Taylor showed us.

[Andrew Schulz]

Oh, yeah. Replace the dick with, like, a grandfather clock. You know the thing that goes like that. Dongs.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Do you know how many times he. First of all, let's be clear. The way he's dressed is definitely suspicious.

[Andrew Schulz]

He got on the bubble jacket.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

He got the Y N uniform. All right. He got the black North Face with the. What is it? What kind of. He got on sweatpants, right? Yeah. Yes, he did.

[E]

No, he. It was nothing on.

[Andrew Schulz]

What is.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No, he had it. He had it pulled down.

[Andrew Schulz]

You guys still haven't told me on.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Ynis, he had the black North Face with the hoodie, the pooh shiesty on his head and that thing swinging. Every time he gets stopped and frisked, he gotta drop his pants.

[Andrew Schulz]

Oh, he got it.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

He got to the cops, was like.

[Andrew Schulz]

Come on, man, stop playing.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You don't think about that. They not like. Like, what the fuck is this? I ain't gonna front y' all. I never seen. I never seen a bbd, yo.

[Andrew Schulz]

Huh?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That was a bbd.

[Andrew Schulz]

A big black dick.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

God.

[Andrew Schulz]

You've never seen a big black dick?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Not like that in real life. That's poison out of porn.

[E]

Out of porn.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I'm serious. Like that shit. Really? That you said you see it?

[D]

I did.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I don't believe it.

[D]

That gotta be AI.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

It gotta be AI. Now we talking.

[Andrew Schulz]

But Alex, do you guys.

[E]

My friend, though.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

AI, by the way, we didn't start this podcast talking about dicks. I know. Dick talk is a segment on this podcast. Taylor just literally showed us this unbelievable shit.

[Andrew Schulz]

But you get racism a little when you say, oh, my God. From white people, right? You get. You get. When white people, like, keep them away from our women.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Why you.

[Andrew Schulz]

You get that a little.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Just a little bit, you know, I. I can see your point. Why have we never seen those statues? This is why they never made statues of black people.

[Andrew Schulz]

Back in the conversation.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

It's easy to make the statues when you can put the little dick fucking Greeks on that shit.

[Andrew Schulz]

There's Greek statues, like, crazy.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Plenty of Greek statues. You got the little dick. You can't make no statue.

[Andrew Schulz]

Nah. Zulu warrior with no shit like that. That is insane. They don't got enough marble.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

What if.

[Andrew Schulz]

What if they don't got enough marble?

[D]

They broke it off. Like, broke off the nose.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I'm saying, what if Zulu warriors never really was carrying spears?

[Andrew Schulz]

That was they whole tip, you know what I'm saying?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

The whole time they was just holding they fucking cocks up. That was crazy, Taylor. Nah, that was. That guy needs to do porn.

[E]

There's nothing to be jealous of. That's all I was trying to say.

[Andrew Schulz]

What she's trying to say is women don't like that.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Oh, that's what Taylor said. Yeah, that's what Taylor said.

[Andrew Schulz]

They don't like that. You're right. They hate that. Do you believe that women hate big dicks?

[E]

If they do, it's nothing against them, but white women are the only ones that will want that.

[Andrew Schulz]

You're saying white Women want that. But white women have the tightest vaginas outside of Asian women.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

But no, I wouldn't even put a rake on it, Taylor.

[Andrew Schulz]

White women got the tiniest vaginas outside of Asian women.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I wouldn't put a rake on.

[Andrew Schulz]

The smaller the dicks, the smaller the vagina. It's gotta be equivalent.

[E]

Why not?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Great point.

[Andrew Schulz]

So by that logic.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

By that logic, y' all not listening.

[Andrew Schulz]

To what show is by that logic, though, who got the big.

[C]

That's true.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Listen, I'm gonna tell you something, Shayla. I don't even think it's a race thing. That's an adventurous thing.

[E]

Yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah. That's a ride like you. Yeah, that's like bungee jump.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah. Like those. Yeah, it's like. Yeah. I'm trying to think of, like, those people that, like piercings or whatever. Like, they're like, yes, man. Like a form of masochism.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That's what I'm saying. Like, if I was like a.

[E]

Like, I'm gonna die in the air.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

If I was a dictator, like, you know, like, I really wanted to punish somebody.

[Andrew Schulz]

You have him.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You get that guy.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You got beef with a dude.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Hey. And you let him see it, and then you turn him around. You let him see it walking in.

[Andrew Schulz]

So you're saying. Yes.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

All right.

[Andrew Schulz]

So if you were the king, you would have, like, the. Oh, it's like the guy who hangs on the guillotine.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yes, man.

[Andrew Schulz]

But it's the dicotine.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yes.

[Andrew Schulz]

And they would come in, and then you could go, what do you want? Do you want the guillotine? Do you want to be hung or do you want that?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

And I'm going to say, I think a combination of all three. He's hung. When you put it in, you're going to want your head cut off.

[Andrew Schulz]

Right?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yo, what if that is even. That could be even crazier.

[Andrew Schulz]

You're in the machine.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I'm not even joking when I say this dude is like a. He's like 20 by 6.

[E]

It looks like that's what it was. A baby going back in a woman.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That right there might be a dick that weighs about seven pounds.

[Andrew Schulz]

No, that thing is bigger than a baby.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I never seen no shit like that.

[Andrew Schulz]

That dick is bigger than baby.

[E]

To put that in, it's like putting a baby coming back.

[Andrew Schulz]

That dick. No bullshit.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

God damn.

[Andrew Schulz]

That dick.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You know what Taylor just said? Can you imagine a woman describing your dick in that way? It felt like they was pushing the baby back in again.

[Andrew Schulz]

Oh, but I think that. Oh, I think that dick would go in and then hit a uey and then could probably come back out. If it was a small enough vagina, I think he could go in, hit a yui, come back out.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I think that guy.

[E]

I think he would have fit, though.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That's the kind of dick that when you put in and the girl goes. If you get it all the way in, you'll see the dickhead with her.

[Andrew Schulz]

Tom, like Alien?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yes, man, like the Aliens movie. That shit is crazy. Yeah, God bless that brother, man. You know what I mean? Why would God do that? Like. Like, why would God give him that?

[Andrew Schulz]

There's some empty women out there, man. There's a woman out. Listen, there's a God creates the yin and yang, right? There's an equal and opposite for everything, right? You get poison ivy. The tree right next to it cures the poison ivy. So what that means is if there's a man with that dick, there's a woman out there.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

There's a vagina out there to match that dick.

[Andrew Schulz]

Remember that movie that just came out, the Gorge?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yes.

[Andrew Schulz]

That's the move. That's what it's about.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Damn.

[Andrew Schulz]

That's. That's it. There's a woman out there that could fit that 100%.

[E]

And she had maybe triplets or something.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

The poor guy can't even masturbate without two hands. The poor guy got to grease up both arms and do this shit for real, man.

[Andrew Schulz]

That's crazy.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That shit is crazy.

[Andrew Schulz]

Imagine getting erect in public like that, and he's just a hulk. Buttons start flying up. Dude, that guy's a liability.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Boy. You don't want to see him coming in no gray sweatpants.

[Andrew Schulz]

Oh, my God.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Okay, we just warming up. I'm sorry, guys. We didn't mean to start like this, but Taylor.

[Andrew Schulz]

Hold on.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Taylor came in here to try to make us feel better. Imagine, you know what Taylor said to us? She was like, there's no need to be us jealous about people's dick size anymore.

[Andrew Schulz]

And then she showed that.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

She showed us the sex. She was like, nobody wants this, but.

[Andrew Schulz]

Imagine circumcising that thing.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Shit.

[E]

Oh, my God.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

How is it, man?

[Andrew Schulz]

What do you do with that carpet?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

It's a fucking sail. Go get you a. Build you a sailboat with all that goddamn force then. What is you talking about? Why you swallow like that just now? Alex, you see. Alex, what the fuck?

[Andrew Schulz]

He did go.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Did you see? He did. Gulped and adjusted himself.

[Andrew Schulz]

Hey, what's up, man?

[D]

This is a lot, Al.

[Andrew Schulz]

What's up?

[D]

It's a lot.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That's the whole point of the conversation. It's a lot. Alex, are you not paying attention? That's how we started the conversation.

[Andrew Schulz]

This is how we got to weed out all the people that follow us for political points.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Political. You start with the cock.

[Andrew Schulz]

You start with the cock. You start with the cock.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That's it.

[Andrew Schulz]

They all turn off. They're like, there's no way this show talks about politics at all within 30 seconds of brilliant idiots dropping every single week. Twitter is on fire with our political takes. Like, we are actually the foremost political journalists of our time. I guess they are doing the right thing.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Why do you think that is?

[Andrew Schulz]

You tell me, bro.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I think it's because we're honest.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yes.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Like, we voted for who we voted for, but we're still able to come in here and have objective, nuanced conversations about what's going on in this country.

[Andrew Schulz]

That is interesting. Like, I wonder if we're one of the biggest platforms that is unbiased, meaning, like, most platforms of this size are bigger. Have, like, a specific political angle.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

And they just repeat that shit. And the conversations we have is, you know, majority of them retarded, but every once in a while, interesting talking points when it comes to.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I also think it's because we're willing to change our minds if presented with the right information. That's something you never see on any of those networks. Those people on Fox are sticking to their talking points. CNN sticking to their talking points. MSNBC sticking to their talking points. But that might change because they had a huge shake up over there.

[Andrew Schulz]

Ooh, ooh, tell me.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I mean, a bunch I got. I mean, they let go of Ms. Joy Ann Reid, but then the day I saw that, they got rid of a bunch of people's shows. I don't think they got rid of the talent, but they got rid of a bunch of people's shows. Yeah, I saw that today. I saw that today. But, yeah, I wonder if it's because.

[Andrew Schulz]

The criticism is coming from a place of. We would actually, like, concern. Yeah, they didn't care.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Like, you said something last week and you said something the last couple of weeks. You was like, yo, basically you want Democrats to be back.

[Andrew Schulz]

I cannot wait till. It's a tough choice for president because we like both of them. The best thing possible would be if next election the Democrats come forward and Americans are going, oh, my God, this is amazing. We love their ideas. Yeah, that's the best thing for America. We want people, like, any product is good when there's Two companies competing with one another, and they're constantly having to make the product a little bit better to beat out the other one. Like, look at. I mean, it's crazy to call it video games, but, like, look at the video games, like Xbox and PlayStation. Like, look how good video games got. Because you have these two competing companies competing on graphics. They're trying to get, like, the license rights for the games because they want to keep the audience, et cetera. That's what we want for politics. That's what we want for anything. Look at the NBA, right? It's like, say again, when was the.

[E]

Last time it was like that for politics?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That's a good question. I don't know if it's ever.

[Andrew Schulz]

I don't know. Well, the problem is, is that maybe.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Maybe, maybe, maybe Obama, McCain, maybe. I mean, Obama. Don't get wrong. Obama's a once in a lifetime generational talent.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

But there's a lot of people who did like John McCain, and there was.

[Andrew Schulz]

Civility between the two of them. Remember when some guy, one of John McCain's supporters, was trying to shit all over Obama and he, like, checked him?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That's what I'm saying. Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

We're scared of an Obama presidency. I'm concerned about, you know, someone that.

[C]

You know, cohorts with domestic terrorists such as Ayers.

[Andrew Schulz]

I have to tell you, he is a decent person and a person that you do not have to be scared as President of the United States. Now, I just. I have read about him, and he's not.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

He's not.

[Andrew Schulz]

He's a.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

He's an Arab.

[Andrew Schulz]

He is not. No, no, ma' am. No, ma' am. No, ma' am. He's a decent family man, citizen that I just happen to have disagreements with. That was beautiful. You'd love it. To get to a point where there was mutual respect because the ideas weren't so far off.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I think McCain beats anybody who's not Obama.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah. Obama was just a superstar.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That's what I'm saying. And maybe Romney, too. A lot of people used to like Mitt Romney as well.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You know.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, 100%.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I was. You know, if you look at what everybody says, Bush and Clinton, maybe Bush and. I don't think so.

[Andrew Schulz]

I don't know. I mean, I thought that George Bush.

[D]

Was respected, but he was going against Al Gore.

[Andrew Schulz]

No, no, no, no, no.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

But there was something that happened with the first.

[Andrew Schulz]

Al Gore was Clinton's running mate. I'm talking about.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah, there was something that happened. Senior. Senior. There was something that Happened that caused him to lose that election. I think it was a war. Was it the war?

[Andrew Schulz]

Well, yeah, they went out to. That was the first Gulf War. Right.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I think that's what made.

[Andrew Schulz]

But usually a wartime president wins.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

But then also, once again, you're going up against a generation. Once in a lifetime generation.

[Andrew Schulz]

But at least we're in this position where both candidates seem like America's gonna be in a good place.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I have been doing some research. Not research, but just reading a little bit more. And I am convinced that in my 46 years of life, the best president in my 46 years has been Bill Clinton.

[Andrew Schulz]

Talk that shit.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Bill Clinton had been the best president because if everybody says they care about the economy, there was nobody who was better for the economy than Bill Clinton.

[Andrew Schulz]

I think we had a surplus during Clinton.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

The National Partnership for Reinventing Government. What Elon Musk is saying he wants to do or is attempting to do, Bill Clinton actually did it. He did it, and he did it in a constitutional way that actually had real results.

[Andrew Schulz]

Goat politician.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

One of the best. I don't understand truthfully why any politician, Democrat or Republican, just did not continue to follow the blueprint that Bill Clinton laid. In regards to the economy, I'm not.

[Andrew Schulz]

Smart enough to know.

[D]

But crime Bill, though.

[Andrew Schulz]

Well, there's always going to be things.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That we could point at that was I said. But that's why I said. I said, in particular the economy. I pointed to the economy.

[Andrew Schulz]

Now, some people would say that, like, you could trace the financial crisis back to Clinton policies. Have you heard about that?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Well, in regards to manufacturing leaving America, I've heard that. His trade policies.

[Andrew Schulz]

Oh, I thought it was like the leniency with Wall street and kind of like letting Wall street run wild again. I don't know if that's a fair criticism. I'm not exactly sure. I don't know enough to know. And it's easy to just look back and go, hey, this was actually their fault. Right? Well, the next administration should have done something to change that. Put blame there, too. But. But, yeah, in terms of the economy and like, having a budget surplus and also like the pride of America again, I don't know how Republicans felt about Clinton during that time, but I know being a New Yorker, being a Democrat, like, it was.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I.

[Andrew Schulz]

We felt cool. It was exciting globally.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I felt cool. Well, they liked him enough to do bipartisan legislation. When they saw that what he was doing in regards to the. What did I just say? The National Performance, National Partnership for Reinventing Government, they liked him enough to vote bipartisan legislation on that. But they also wanted to get him the fuck up out of there for getting a little bit ahead.

[Andrew Schulz]

That's a good question.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Which seems so light now.

[Andrew Schulz]

So light.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I mean, God damn, When you look at what he did with the economy, did he not deserve to get his dick sucked?

[Andrew Schulz]

And he got his dick sucked consensually. They weren't even accusing him of doing that shit by force. He got a consensual dick suck that.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

People found out about.

[Andrew Schulz]

That people found out about them.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

But it was the power dynamic, so. I understand. I get it. All I'm simply saying is what power dynamic? He was married.

[E]

So what?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

He was married. You're absolutely right. So what? No, no. He was married.

[Andrew Schulz]

So what?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Respect your vows. All I'm simply saying is if you get America out of debt and we have our First Serafla since 1960, you.

[Andrew Schulz]

Get your dick suck.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

God damn. I mean, you get your dick sucked. I mean, just. If that's what's motivating him and having him coming up with these great ideas.

[Andrew Schulz]

You saying, hold on, hold on, hold on.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

For the good of the country, let's.

[Andrew Schulz]

Talk about, we got 3 trillion or whatever, and we're in debt right now. What's the US national debt right now? Let's say it's 3 trillion. It could be way more. You're saying if Donald Trump knocks out $3 trillion of debt, he can't get.

[E]

His dick sucked by his wife?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

If he does it the right way. That's the thing that's so impressive about Clinton. He did it in a constitutional way. He did it in an American way. When he had Al Gore running that organization of his, he didn't have some foreigner from another country.

[Andrew Schulz]

Okay, you really harping on this foreigner shit?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Because it's true. And he was working. Not only did he have Al Gore running it, he worked with federal agents to see what needed to be cut. And then when he went to go make the cuts and he did it with Congress, he did it the right way, in a constitutional way. Line up for a dick suck. Line up and get. Let him get his dick suck.

[Andrew Schulz]

I mean, he deserves it. I don't even know if Trump wants that shit sucked anymore, bro. I mean, 80 years old, he's just trying to balance the budget.

[E]

Well, he's doing something, so.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah, what is that? What you about to say that says bow down? What does that say? Taylor?

[Andrew Schulz]

Oh, got him.

[E]

Damn.

[Andrew Schulz]

Trump knew you were trying to set him up.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Got him.

[Andrew Schulz]

Got your ass. He saw you. He saw you from miles away. He's like, look at this girl trying to set me up. Paige removed. Got him. That's Cash Patel right there. Cash is in your laptop right now. Shout out.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Fuck all that Elon Musk shit. You saw that? And Tulsi Gablet and Pete Hegseth.

[Andrew Schulz]

Hey, they know what time.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

And Mark Rubio.

[Andrew Schulz]

These are real Americans, yo.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That's what I'm saying. That's all I'm saying. Respect the Constitution. That's all I'm fucking saying. You can concede the election, but don't concede the Constitution.

[Andrew Schulz]

That's disrespectful.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

What is that?

[Andrew Schulz]

Hey, that's disrespectful.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Hold on. What does that say? Scroll up. Monitors at the Department of. Why y' all did that at hud. See, y' all gonna cause him to see. Now you're gonna start deporting black people. Monitors at the Department of Housing and Urban Development reportedly hacked to show AI video of Donald Trump sucking Elon Musk. All right, now he gonna get rid of hud.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, you wanna see?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Y' all couldn't do that at any other department.

[Andrew Schulz]

Go have some fun.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You had to do that shit at hud. Now when he get rid of Hood.

[E]

Whose fault is it he's stroking the foot like that?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That is wild, though. I will say. I will say that this video is crazy, but Elon Musk and Donald Trump are giving record label owner, hottest artist vibes. It's like when you saw Birdman standing next to Lil Wayne back in the day. Or when you saw Digimon stand next to Biggie back in the day. Or when you see, like, yo, Gotti standing next to Glorilla. Now, you see you got the hot artist, which is Trump, but it's clearly. You can see who's in charge here. There's no way Trump likes that, Joe. There's no way Trump likes those.

[D]

Oh, you're putting Elon as the executive?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You goddamn right. Oh, you can see it when they're together. It's actually kind of strange, honestly. Like, even when they're in the Oval Office, the optics, Trump sitting down, Elon standing up, the kid telling Trump, shut his mouth.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yo, Trump don't give a fuck. Trump don't give. He loves the fact that there's someone else getting all this smoke on the Internet. He loves the fact that you and all these other people are talking shit about Elon, not talking shit about him, and he's just getting deals done however the fuck he wants to get deals done while this dude takes all the smoke. This is like, the perfect scenario for this Trump presidency.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah, but you're creating a MAGA Civil war. You saw what Steve Bannon said about.

[Andrew Schulz]

Your boy Steve Bannon need to take his shitty skin and go back into a jail cell.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Steve Bannon says. Steve Bannon.

[Andrew Schulz]

I don't give a about what Steve Bannon says.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Steve Bannon said you fired thousands of federal staff. You're a parasitic illegal immigrant. God.

[Andrew Schulz]

Where's Steve Bannon from?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yo, I have no idea.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yo, look at Steve Bannon's skin. Steve Bannon's skin look like Bible paper. I never seen someone with shittier skin and that much money. You could put lotion on your skin and you will be fine.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I bet if you walked in your building and saw that motherfucker sitting in the lobby, you'd be like, oh, shit.

[Andrew Schulz]

I would, because I don't have a lobby. Like, this motherfucker made a lobby. Fucking make a lot. Now, this Marvel villain looking motherfucker, you don't need. I don't like the fact that we're even listening to him talk anymore, but his hair looks great.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I think if I was Steve Bannon, I would understand why he doesn't like somebody like Elon Musk. Because if you did, if you work so hard to position a party as the party of the working class, you cannot.

[Andrew Schulz]

You think that's what he worked hard doing?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Steve Bannon?

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Absolutely. Well, there's a lot of things Steve Bannon did, but, I mean, he's just.

[Andrew Schulz]

Mad he's not in the White House anymore. He's just mad he's not a shot caller. He's just mad that he's not someone that people pay attention to. So he's just trying to rile shit up again. He just wants attention.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You think so? Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

Come on.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Look, man. So what about Tulsi? What about Cash? The towel? What about Pete Hegsett about Rubio? They said we ignore fucking Elon's emails. Like, yo, don't. Y' all don't answer to him. Who the fuck is he? Unless now, yo, we don't answer to him. Well, elected official.

[Andrew Schulz]

Well, well, well. What does it matter if you're elected official or not?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Come on. Yes, it does.

[Andrew Schulz]

Cash Patel is not an elected official.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

But he's. He's the head of the FBI.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, but he's not elected.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

But he got sworn in by the Senate. Elon did not.

[Andrew Schulz]

So you're saying that I could be wrong about this, but you're saying that if the President hires Anybody to look into anything. They're not allowed to do it unless the Senate swears them in.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yes, if you're going to be over how the federal government spends people's money.

[Andrew Schulz]

But the amount of people that spend our money that are part of the federal government, that we have not sworn in is what's caused all this bloat and bureaucratic bullshit that we're dealing with now.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I don't know anything about that. Not even gonna sit here and act like that. I do.

[Andrew Schulz]

I mean, there's all these programs.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That's the problem.

[Andrew Schulz]

There's all these programs that they're slashing shit right now. Right Again, I don't even know what they're slashing. But there are all these programs that they have said have. Have gotten a lot of bloat, in other words, that there's a lot more people have hired. They've hired for these certain, like, interest projects. And these interest projects have been potentially completed, and those people haven't moved on to work on anything else. They're just still there getting paid by our money. We didn't hire them. The Senate didn't hire them. Somebody at that company hired them. So I guess what I'm trying to understand is, like, I don't know how that works.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I really don't.

[Andrew Schulz]

I think it works like when you.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

When you're a usda, fda, you're in charge of nuclear weapons. I don't know how that works.

[Andrew Schulz]

The Senate can't come in and approve every single person that's hired on every single committee. Maybe they could. Maybe. Maybe it should be done where, like, the Senate approves, like, the person that's the head of the committee or something, maybe that's the pushback. But I guess what I'm trying to say is, like, if you have nothing to hide and there is no issue, let's look at the books.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No, sure, but it has to be.

[Andrew Schulz]

Why is that a bad question?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You can't have unchecked, unauthorized power from somebody who's not an elected official.

[Andrew Schulz]

How about this?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Everything you're saying happened in the 90s. Bill Clinton did it.

[Andrew Schulz]

How about this?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

And Bill Clinton didn't need congressional approval to put this organization together.

[Andrew Schulz]

How about this? We let the Doge or whatever look into all the excess. We have them with transparency, share the excess. Upon sharing the excess, we have a congressional committee of elected officials come in and act on the excess.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

So do it the right way.

[Andrew Schulz]

Would that be the right way?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yes, the way. That's exactly what's going on.

[Andrew Schulz]

I don't know what the constitutional way is.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

When Bill Clinton created the National Partnership for Reinventing Government, that's exactly what they did. And it's like this, right? If I wanted to know more about comedy, like, say, comedy clubs in New York City.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Who should you talk to? If you want to know how to fix comedy clubs in New York City, make comedy clubs the best, who should you talk to?

[Andrew Schulz]

Comedy club owners.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

And who else?

[Andrew Schulz]

Comedians.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yes. That's what Clinton did. He went to go talk to federal workers and people who were in charge of these organizations to see where they could cut waste. Once they figured it all out, then they went to Congress with it. That is the constitutional way.

[Andrew Schulz]

I'm all about going to Congress with it after you find it. But I'm also totally fine with an outside person checking on all of these different organizations. I'm totally fine with that. Matter of fact, I think it should be an outside source. I think an inside source might be too biased. I think an inside source has these special interest groups in their ear. Like, for example, if we say we can't sit on this podcast right now and say that every senator, every congressman, every president, every whatever is in the pocket of big business, right? And at the same time, go, so let's let them make the decision which part of these organizations we cut and which we don't. If we are right now saying that they're all corrupt and that they're accepting these bribes from these different companies, why could we trust them to make the right decisions?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Why would we trust Elon Musk?

[Andrew Schulz]

Well, it doesn't have to be Elon, but I do like the idea that there is a private person outside of government that's at least gaining the information. It doesn't have to be Elon. It could be. Name another John Denver. It doesn't fucking matter what it is. But a private person outside of government that is not beholden to any of these special interest groups going in, accessing this information, calling out where they think the bloat is or the excess is, and then you could have Congress vote on it.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That's what Clinton did. Other than.

[Andrew Schulz]

I don't think he.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Other than having somebody from the outside. He used his vice president. But they still cut 380,000 jobs. So it's not like they did not. And you know what else they did?

[Andrew Schulz]

They did.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

They taxed the motherfucking wealthy. Like when we talk about the surplus that happened in. In. In. In America during that time, it wasn't just the fact that he was cutting all these jobs they taxed the motherfucking richest among us. Elon. Them ain't going to do that.

[Andrew Schulz]

Why do we act like we don't get taxed? That's another thing. That's crazy.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Like, I, I, the wealthiest of people in America don't. Okay, but we do.

[Andrew Schulz]

That's the thing. But people, but people think we're the wealthy.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Oh, no, no. We get taxed.

[Andrew Schulz]

But that's the thing. So, and, and that's why there's a lot of times pushback for people like around. I don't even want to put me in your demographic. But when people make, when people make a certain amount of money, you're getting tax over 50%. When you add state tax in, Right. And city tax from New York City. Right. You're over 50%. When they say the rich don't pay.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Taxes, they talking about the wealthiest amongst us.

[Andrew Schulz]

The people who don't actually, like, make a living. Like Jeff Bezos's money is in stock. Warren Buffett's money's in stock. All these super rich people's money's in stock. Find a way to clip their ass at 50%. You know who would support that? The rest of us paying 50%.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Clinton had it at A.

[Andrew Schulz]

You have 99.9% of human beings in America support that 100%. The question is, how do you do it?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah, Clinton's tax cuts, I believe with 34%. That was the number, Chris. Yeah. Clinton tax cuts with 34% for the wealthiest amongst.

[Andrew Schulz]

So check it. If there's this huge wealth gap, and I'm not talking about between me and you and the average person. I'm talking about between the average person and Jeff Bezos, the average person and the billionaire class. If the billionaires aren't getting taxed at all and the rest of us are getting taxed and we're in tax heavy, we're paying that. Yes, realistically, we are paying the tax for those billionaires.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That's what my, my financial advisor tell me that all the fucking time. But you know why? Because they don't pay taxes.

[Andrew Schulz]

But now listen, nobody, and I totally get it, nobody wants to hear us complain about how much we get taxed.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Well, them.

[Andrew Schulz]

No, no, no.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Sometimes, Sometimes we need some things on this podcast for us. Okay?

[Andrew Schulz]

But my point is I'm fine paying into the system. I've never had an issue paying into the system. The frustration comes from when the people that wake make way more money than us. I'm talking about hundreds of times more money than us. Pay almost nothing and There is unilateral support for that. I don't see. Like, if you pay a 50% every year, Charlamagne, would you not support. Doesn't matter. It doesn't matter.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

Would you not support taxation on Jeff Bezos?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You got me, right? Absolutely. Okay, so Clinton, the highest marginal income tax rate was raised from 31 to 39.6% for individuals earning over 250. But he raised corporate taxes. So the new corporate tax rate of 35% was applied to businesses with taxable incomes over 10 million. And the percentage of Social Security benefits subject to taxation increased from 50% to 85% for individuals earning over 34 grand and couples over 44 grand. Here's the thing about Clinton, man. We had these conversations last week, and it's true. People will forget what you said. They'll forget what you did. They'll never forget how you made them feel. I remember in the 90s when the hood was booming because of Clinton's economy. I remember this. I remember my father and my uncle, them having these conversations about the money's coming through because of Clinton. I also remember when Bush got into office and fucked shit up and the economy was disgusting, and he did what most people do when they fuck up the economy. Here's a little stimmy. $750 bush bucks. You remember that, Chris?

[Andrew Schulz]

Sure.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Remember Bush bucks?

[Andrew Schulz]

I didn't get no Bush bucks.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Now, we weren't eligible for that shit back then.

[D]

But listen, I think a combination of the two, though, having somebody from outside and working with people in government, because that's. You can't rely on the people in government to clean up government. And we don't trust somebody from outside the government.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

But it's happened already, though.

[D]

No, but.

[Andrew Schulz]

No, it has. It is always an outsider.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Clinton is not in the 90s.

[Andrew Schulz]

Clinton was an outsider.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Oh, you mean. Okay, I get what you're saying. So you mean like somebody that wasn't.

[Andrew Schulz]

Part of the problem in the first.

[C]

Place because it shouldn't be the richest guy in the world?

[Andrew Schulz]

No, no, no, no. Okay.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Okay.

[Andrew Schulz]

I guess what I'm saying is people are getting so caught up on whether it's Elon or not. Right. And I'm sure there's reasons that are justifiable for that. Sure. But what is happening. We don't have to criticize. We should be looking at the books. Like, if you run a business. Chris, you run a business. Alex, you run a business. Don't you want to look at the books and see which studios are profitable, which are not. Find out if there's some excess. Hey, maybe there's something that you're paying and that person isn't even managing any of the pods. You look at that and you go, hey, why are you accepting money? You weren't doing any of the pods.

[C]

Like, yeah, and that's a bad example.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

But.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yes, but you know why you think.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I'm asking Chris why you think it's a bad example?

[Andrew Schulz]

No, no, no. He's saying he's a bad example.

[C]

I'm bad at that stuff.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Oh, oh, oh. Gotcha, gotcha.

[Andrew Schulz]

I'm bad at that shit, too.

[D]

But then would you. Would I want to hire somebody who knows nothing about my business to come in and try to make changes and cut cost and fire people? No. I think it would be best if you have me who knows my business and somebody from outside who's a clear.

[Andrew Schulz]

Again. Again. I guess. I guess it would be beneficial for all of us if there was unanimous bipartisan support for looking at government excess spending and reducing and trying to. To look at effective, smart ways to reduce this insane debt that will cripple us in the future. But I feel like there's not enough. I feel like there's not enough messaging that everybody's getting so caught up into, oh, Elon. And he's the richest guy. And why is he doing it? Okay, okay, but he is.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

But unconstitutional.

[Andrew Schulz]

Okay, okay, okay. My point is, you're an American Schultz.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You did a special called Schultz saves America.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yes.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You put your American flag on like a robe.

[Andrew Schulz]

I love him.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You wear your American glasses, your shades. You wave your flag. You cannot be a patriot and be okay with a foreigner doing what he's doing.

[Andrew Schulz]

But my mom is a foreigner. I have a lot of. I love foreigners. I think foreigners are what make America.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Hold on.

[C]

A wise man once said on this podcast.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yep.

[C]

Why should Trevor Noah get to talk about American podcast? Why should Mehdi get the Wayne's Light of Spark?

[Andrew Schulz]

Not just. Not just Trevor, but also John Oliver? And I said a specific, specific nuanced take about that.

[C]

Okay, give it to me.

[Andrew Schulz]

Same thing with Mehdi. I'm not exactly sure. I don't know what the deal is with him exactly, but definitely not born in America. My point is, if you are from. You're not from America, and you are going to have a very partisan take on America where Alabama becomes one of your punchlines, where Missouri becomes one of your punchlines, without actually spending time here knowing those places and then telling us Americans how we should feel about them. Without ever living there or really understanding those people. I have an issue with it. I say, personally, I would feel uncomfortable going to South Africa and having the news show about South Africa without really spending some time in half of the country, which I'm shitting on, which is what I see these people doing. I would feel uncomfortable about it. For whatever reasons Americans, we love it when foreigners go do it. I don't know why that is, but to me, I would feel uncomfortable doing that.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

To your point, though, I don't want to keep saying foreigner, I don't think.

[Andrew Schulz]

Real quick, real quick.

[C]

Or would you feel comfortable redoing the South African government?

[Andrew Schulz]

Would I feel comfortable redoing.

[C]

You're saying I wouldn't go there and talk about this tribal area versus this precinct? I don't know that stuff. It's not really for me to speak on. That's an internal conversation, essentially.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah. You're speaking on American culture and as a reflection of politics, without truly getting an understanding of what makes us.

[C]

So you're saying this is different because it's not cultural, it's numbers.

[Andrew Schulz]

It's like those people getting fired are Republican and Democrat. Absolutely. Those businesses are Republican and Democrats. Those services affect both.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

It affects us as Americans.

[Andrew Schulz]

So if an American consultant, which happens all the time, not only American, so British consultants, they go to the Middle east, right? And they're hired to consult on the various business endeavors that they're doing, they're doing it blindly. They're not. They're looking at the investments, and they're not going, well, let's invest in some conservatives or some Democratic shit. They're just going, what is the best for this business? What is the best for this country? I don't. I don't see a problem with that as long as you're doing it blindly. If they were specifically targeting one political demographic, if Elon is specifically turned. One political demographic with this, then I'd start to go, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, this isn't a good idea here. But as far as I'm understanding, it's agnostic.

[C]

But they're not McKinsey. They're not Deloitte.

[Andrew Schulz]

Right.

[C]

Like, they're not these companies that he's not. Is what I'm saying.

[Andrew Schulz]

Do we know that he's got the.

[C]

Biggest vested interest in all of this?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yes. Let's not get lost in this, which is concerning. I wanna get back to that. But let's just stay where we. This is the biggest issue with Elon. It's just unconstitutional. Like, forget everything else, get the foreigner it's just unconstitutional.

[Andrew Schulz]

What makes it unconstitutional?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

There's this thing called. I'm glad you asked. There's this thing called the Appointments Clause. And they say it's an Appointments Clause violation because it mandates that principal officers of the US Must be appointed by the president and confirmed by the Senate. Musk, serving as a senior advisor to President Trump and overseeing Doge, has been exercising substantial authority without Senate confirmation. This has led to legal challenges from 14 state attorney generals who argue that Musk's role and actions violate the Appointments Clause. They seek to prevent him from issuing directives to executive branch officials and to invalidate his previous actions. Which is why Casp Patel and Tulsi Gavin and Pete Hegseth and Mark Rubio said, fuck that email, y' all. We not answering to that shit.

[D]

You see them trying to get in front of that, though, by saying, oh, Elon's not an employee of Doge. Elon's not connected to Doge.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Come on. So why are you playing in our face again? You know what else I didn't like? Elon said?

[Andrew Schulz]

Just faith.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Elon goes, I just wanted to see who had a pulse. Like, yo, we don't. We're talking about people who are literally in charge of our national security, who are literally in charge of how we just stay safe here in America. Why are you playing with these people on a weekend?

[Andrew Schulz]

So this is the way that we should frame this conversation. We should say what we like about what's happening.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I like what Doge is in theory. Chris. You said that months ago.

[Andrew Schulz]

Let's start here. Let's start here. What do we all appreciate about the idea of Doge?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Government efficiency.

[Andrew Schulz]

Government efficiency. And we've seen it work.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

We've seen it work before. When it's done right, it can work. Bill Clinton did it.

[Andrew Schulz]

Okay? And then, Chris, you're probably the biggest critic here of this, and I'm not, like, setting you up for anything. Is there anything about Doge that you appreciate or you look for?

[C]

Sure, There's a lot of waste in the government. I don't think anybody's denying that.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah.

[C]

I would say if you're really serious about trimming fat, start in the Pentagon. You start in the Pentagon, in the military. I don't think putting. I can't even remember the guy's name in charge signals that you're really serious about that.

[Andrew Schulz]

Bongino or whatever.

[C]

No, the other dude. The guy who's not drinking on the job.

[Andrew Schulz]

Hexafex.

[C]

Yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Hexif. Yeah.

[C]

So look, you know, and I know, they've signaled that they're gonna go look at that. But that's where the fad is.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah.

[C]

You know, all this, the park rangers, all the other little stuff they're looking at, it's park rangers. It's not even nickels and dimes, it's pennies.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That's what I said. What are park rangers supposed to do?

[C]

Okay, he starts chopping up the military. And not just chopping up. He might go into the military and reroute a lot of those contracts to SpaceX associated already doing.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

He's doing that with.

[C]

That's what I'm very concerned about.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Okay. Again, even the USAID that he's going after, they make up 1% of the federal government.

[Andrew Schulz]

This is why these conversations fall apart. I didn't ask what he's doing wrong or what they're doing.

[C]

Are you asking me theoretic? Theoretically.

[Andrew Schulz]

Theoretically, sure. What do we like about a government agency that looks into efficiency in government spending, which is our money and the spending of our money that we pay in taxes? What do we support about that? Let's start it with what we support about it.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That's what we support.

[Andrew Schulz]

You told me you like what you support. You like the fact that there is an agency or somebody that's looking into government spending and there could be a bunch of excess there. And by reducing that excess, it might make life a little bit easier for all Americans.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

And the fact we've seen it work, we saw it work with Bill Clinton. It's been proven, if it's done right.

[D]

And constitutionally, I like that they're going line by line and pointing things out.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That's what they're not doing.

[Andrew Schulz]

Well, hold on.

[D]

They're doing in certain aspects where they're like, wait, why are we sending this much money to this for that? Like, some transparency? Because a lot of times we're like, yo, what are our tax monies?

[Andrew Schulz]

All the time.

[D]

So it's like, I like the fact that they're trying to be transparent. How transparent are they being? We don't know.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

But I'm saying I can't remember.

[Andrew Schulz]

That's nice at least, right? It's. It's feeling like, okay, if I, if I pay a hundred dollars in taxes a year, If I know 78 of those dollars goes to a random, like, military plane that we no longer use in war anymore because now everything's drones, we can go, okay, well, maybe we can take that 78, spend 30 of it on drones, and then you could kick back 48 to me. That'd be really nice or put it into some other programs. Like. So we like the transparency. Everybody's kind of on the same page with that.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yes. And what's the heads that you don't.

[Andrew Schulz]

Want to know what we're spending money on, theoretically. So what do you mean? You do or you don't?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I do.

[Andrew Schulz]

Okay. Okay. So theoretically, we at least like that. I feel like if, if we could come from a place where we go, there's government excess, we can reduce some spending, we can hopefully do it in a way that impacts like everyday people's lives minimally. There are going to be some people that might lose their jobs, as will happen at Amazon, as will happen at Pepsi, as will happen at Coca Cola, as will happen at the MPA.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Over 300,000 workers did it under, under Clinton. 300,000 federal workers lost their job.

[Andrew Schulz]

So that will, that will happen as what happens with any company in the world. That unfortunately is what happens. Right. There might be situations where more people get hired where we realize after looking into it, whoa, we're severely understaffed over here, and this is way overstaffed. Maybe we can shift some of those people over. I don't know. But a look into it. We agree. So baseline, we could have Elon go look into every single thing without changing anything, report back and go, hey, here is where extreme excess is. Why don't we have the Senate pass some bill to reduce that excess? Is that a fair way of looking at where, you know, you have bipartisan support in the Senate looking at these changes and we have a submission, an example, if you will, of how they would do it.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You're right, but you know who did that? Bill Clinton.

[Andrew Schulz]

All I'm trying to say is if we frame it in a way where the issue isn't some immigrant from South Africa or whatever you called him is doing it, but rather somebody is pointing it out. We get that transparency that clearly America needs so we can have faith in our institutions again. We have no faith in our institutions.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

We can't wipe you after the Constitution.

[Andrew Schulz]

I agree, but we need to get to a point where we have faith in our institutions again. And you don't do that by just gaslighting the American people, but don't do.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

It by having Elon Musk do what.

[C]

He'S currently doing, what he's doing. It's nuts.

[Andrew Schulz]

Guys, guys, guys. I'm not saying anything gets executed. I'm saying a suggestion of where fat could be trimmed is then go.

[C]

Keyword of suggestion.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah. That's not all I'm saying if.

[C]

Look, I don't agree with Trump. We know this, but if he says, I want to deputize Elon Musk to investigate this, come back with his findings.

[Andrew Schulz]

That's better word.

[C]

And then put it through Congress, that's also. I'm not going to probably agree with it, but that's how the process.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That's what clean.

[C]

But here's what's troubling about it. Trump could do that. And whatever.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

He's not.

[C]

And he's not, because whatever Elon came back with, he controls Congress. He could run it through Congress and get what he wants. So the fact that he's not taking.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You have control of all three branches of the government.

[Andrew Schulz]

So now what we've done is we've isolated the criticism that has bipartisan support before. When we're just, you know, screaming epitaphs at random people, the conversation completely melts and falls apart. And the people on the right just go, ah, fuck these crazy libs. And the people on the left just go, ah, these motherfuckers are tyrants. And then it's over. Right now we have bipartisan support. We have liberals and conservatives in the same room going, we need to look at government. And we all agree in this room that it shouldn't just be this, like, what is it? Sweeping, like a brushstroke that just knocks everything out without some people that are experts in these fields looking at it and making their decision. So, like you said, if he deputizes Musk or someone else, it could be someone else. I don't really give a fuck who it is. If he deputizes that person, they go look into it. They reveal their findings to the American people as well, by the way, and then that gets passed in Congress. Now, you know who did that? What I love about this, this is what I love about this. The American people know what the excess is now, right? It goes to the vote in Congress. Now, all those senators and congressmen that vote against it are signaling to their people, hey, I'm okay with this government excess. And you spending your tax dollars on things that these independent investigators have said aren't really benefiting the American people. Now you get to decide on your senator or congressman next election. You're going to go, I don't think that motherfucker got the best interest. And that's why my best interest.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That's why Bill Clinton had bipartisan support for what he was doing.

[Andrew Schulz]

So what I'm saying is, as you've suggested, there is a way to do it, but unfortunately, we get caught up in this bickering and then nobody even pays attention. It would be great if we just took that support, we reinstate some faith in government once again and we do it through the Constitution, which is elected officials we've elected reviewing these findings and executing that.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

And that's why it's so interesting what Elon Musk did. Cuz Elon Musk raised his hand and volunteered this information and said, what I'm doing is what Bill Clinton did in the 90s.

[Andrew Schulz]

But Bill Clinton was elected.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yes. And then when you actually go read, you're like, no, actually this is what we want you to do. You're not doing it. Elaine Carmack, who worked for Bill Clinton back then, this is what she said. The Reinventing Government program cut nearly a half million federal jobs and dispensed with a massive number of regulations. But according to the woman who ran the program under the Clinton administration, any similarities between that program. Indulge in there. This is what she says. We cut fat and they cut muscle. It's as simple as that. We didn't have any meltdowns of agencies. We didn't have any dysfunction going on. And we obeyed the law when we thought something was wrong, we. We sent it to Congress and asked him to change it. That's it.

[Andrew Schulz]

But here's here right now, what you're saying. I think everybody in the room agrees. So why don't we all go, hey, let's give them the bone, right? Let's go. Hey, Elon, you do it. You can do Doge, you can send those investigators out. And you know what? We're not going to block that investigation. We're going to open those books to you. We're not going to block it just because of some bipartisan bullshit. We're going to open the books.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I'm blocking it because it's you, Elon Musk. No, but you don't have the authority to do this.

[Andrew Schulz]

You're not listening.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

If there's any elected official that has the authority to do this from the President and the Senate, let's get it done.

[Andrew Schulz]

You're not listening. I'm saying the President should be allowed to, as you said, deputize a private investigation. If he wants to choose Elon, that's fine. What I'm saying is before anything that he suggests gets executed, it has to get passed through Congress. Do we, do we think that's fair? I think that's. I think that's really fair.

[C]

Mitt Romney or somebody.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah. Like, you cannot make change from inside.

[C]

And find Somebody who's not the richest.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Man in the world. He's saying that. But Clinton did.

[C]

It's pretty easy to find someone who's not the richest.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah, you came, Elon.

[Andrew Schulz]

So now y' all got a. You got a boner with Elon. And just because it's Elon, you're going to have an issue with it. What? I just get over that shit.

[C]

I can't get over that, by the way.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

By the way.

[Andrew Schulz]

Shows you nothing can happen.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You would be correct if we haven't seen him fuck up in two weeks.

[Andrew Schulz]

I can't imagine what it's like being in Congress where you just got.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Listen, no.

[Andrew Schulz]

We only got to do this once a week, and I'm.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

But listen, you're acting like we have. I haven't seen him already fuck shit up.

[Andrew Schulz]

No, no. He's disqualified himself.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

He disqualified himself.

[Andrew Schulz]

I'm giving you a separate hypothetical. I'm not talking about what's happening now and I'm not defending what's happening now. I'm trying to create a separate hypothetical.

[C]

You're a pretty low bar. Just don't bring me the richest guy in the entire fucking world to do this. I don't bring you the 50th richest guy.

[Andrew Schulz]

I don't think.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

God damn.

[Andrew Schulz]

But I don't think that being the richest guy in the world. What is the word I'm looking for. Precludes you. What is it?

[C]

Disqualified.

[Andrew Schulz]

I don't think that disqualifies you from doing the job you believe it does because you think that he is incentivized by it. And there's a great argument for that. There are tons of great. I saw Jon Stewart saying something about, like, how Elon spent $270 million in the election, but he's made 2 billion. So now you know.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Oh, no. More than that.

[Andrew Schulz]

It doesn't matter. The point that I'm trying to say is now you know how much money you can get back.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

Not it costs how much you can get back from that investment.

[C]

Great ROI for it.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Elon.

[Andrew Schulz]

Think that Elon is motivated by money when he's already the richest man in the world.

[C]

No, no, no.

[Andrew Schulz]

But it doesn't matter. My point being, I'm down with Elon regard. Even if he's the richest guy in the world looking into all the shit. But once you do the findings and you share with the American people, you have to go through the constitutional system that we have. That is the American way. Is that fair? Can we just all agree on that to your point?

[D]

Fair but that's not happening.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That's not happening.

[Andrew Schulz]

So that's what happening. So let's give pushback on that. And not. We are. No, he's going. I don't want the richest guy in the world.

[C]

I don't want the fox telling me how the hen house is set up. Find a fucking chicken or a hen to do that.

[Andrew Schulz]

Chickens can't set the shit up.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Right.

[Andrew Schulz]

They got a thawed house.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Get a thawed. Listen, I understand what both of y' all are saying.

[Andrew Schulz]

I want the fuck.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

But this is why the conversation. I want the fox.

[C]

Yeah, all those chickens. Seem to me.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I understand what both of y' all are saying, but this is why the conversation should be about why this is unconscious, constitutional, why this is against the law, period. Do you believe in the Constitution or not?

[Andrew Schulz]

Do you know who you're talking to?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That's my point. So if you believe in the constitutional Constitution, you have to say this is unconstitutional.

[Andrew Schulz]

What am I suggesting? What I'm suggesting is we remove the execution.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Finding your hypothetical is on.

[Andrew Schulz]

That's all I'm saying.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

But we're talking about what's actually happening.

[Andrew Schulz]

I know, but what I'm saying is if we make the conversation about the execution, not about him, just going to look into it, then you get this unanimous support where you go, yeah, yeah. I don't know if we got one guy in the private sector that's just allowed it with a swipe of the pen. Fire 100,000 people.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Let's go, Cash Patel. Let's go, Tulsi Gabbard. OK. You know, they pushing back.

[Andrew Schulz]

That's family.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

They pushing back.

[Andrew Schulz]

Shout out India. Shout out India.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Steve Bannon, they pushing back.

[Andrew Schulz]

Whoa, whoa, What?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Steve Bannon, they pushing back. All I'm paying.

[Andrew Schulz]

I don't know if you want to see. And it's pony, bro.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Government officials that believe in the Constitution. Constitution are pushing back. That's all I'm saying. We want government. Efficiency is a great thing. We saw it work in the 90s. It can work again. It just needs to be done constitutionally.

[Andrew Schulz]

I want it done by the richest motherfucker.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No, you don't. No, you don't.

[Andrew Schulz]

Because he got the most efficiency.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No. No, you don't. No, you don't. I want somebody appointed by the President, confirmed by the Senate.

[Andrew Schulz]

All right, so you want aoc, whose experience in business is working as a bartender, to go in and run the government or check it out.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Why are you doing it? No time. I tell my time out.

[Andrew Schulz]

I don't want that. I Want somebody who understands how to run billion dollar, trillion dollar corporations. But hold on and see what shows.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

We are missing one key point that Clinton did that also Elon's not doing. He went to go talk to federal agents and workers. He worked hand in hand with them to see where the waste was. Fuck what he thought. Let's go talk to the workers at these different places in these different organizations.

[Andrew Schulz]

I agree with you.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

See where the waste was. That's my point. But AOC could do that.

[Andrew Schulz]

No, what I'm saying is I agree with that. After. So what I would love to do is see the findings and then I want someone like AOC to go investigate those relationships. And I, and I want to look into. You can get McKinley or whatever the other consulting firms to come in and you can look at those findings and see where that excess is. It might not be excess when we actually do the deeper dive, but you need an outsider come and shake some shit up. It doesn't have to be Elon. You could pick the 50th, you could pick the 100th, you could pick whoever the fuck you want, but this does need to happen.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yes, yes.

[Andrew Schulz]

Does this happen?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Nobody's debating.

[Andrew Schulz]

And we all agree that it can happen in a more constitutional way. But I'm not against deputizing a private citizen to come in and look into this shit, open the books and be like, yo, this is crazy over here, let's change it up. Because we do need a change.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I have no problem. I have no problem with somebody from the outside coming in if they're actually working hand in hand with federal agents and workers already in the system.

[C]

See, yes, but I don't think that's what this is only about. I think this is about scaring people. I think this is about intimidating people. I think it's about keeping them off balance, worried about their jobs, worried about speaking. Because that's why there's been this flurry. That's why they're the emails and you have to do this or you lose your job by five o' clock tonight. It's an intimidation game. And it's not a level, thoughtful approach at this.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No. Especially when you're getting rid of people. When you're getting rid of nuclear workers who oversee the nuclear stockpile and then realizing, oh, I need those people and they're wanting to hire them back. Not when you're getting rid of people that work at the USDA who are trying to contain bird flu and you just fucking fire them. And you're like, oh, no, we need those people.

[C]

This is not even a message. The who stick your fucking head out. It's gonna get chopped off.

[Andrew Schulz]

So you think that this is. He thinks it's like a political fear tactic, which is essentially, if you give pushback to us and this administration as we try to make changes, we're going to use this DOGE company to essentially fire the people that get in our way. I think that's the most.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I do that at the expense of the national security of the country.

[Andrew Schulz]

No, no, no, no. I think that. That they. They obviously don't feel that it is at the expense of the national security of the country. I think that that is a rather pessimistic view of it. But I have to absorb that view if I want to have a more holistic understanding of this. I can't just write you off.

[C]

Thank you.

[Andrew Schulz]

I have to. I have to take that in and go, ooh. I have to consider. I have to take in the fact that maybe some of these government deals could go to some of Elon's corporations and he could benefit from this. I have to look at all that. What if Elon was to come in and he would. And he'd say, I want to do this DOGE thing, but as part of our efficiency project, none of these programs can be transferred into any companies that I own. More faith in it.

[C]

Yeah, but that should be the first thing again, now.

[Andrew Schulz]

Now we're mincing.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Like. Can I say one other thing, though? Because you said something tr too. You said sho said something true. He said, you know, if you go looking and somebody says, well, I don't want you to look here, you're going to be suspicious. Is it not suspicious to go in and cut all of these companies and organizations that are investigating your shit?

[Andrew Schulz]

Elon, listen. 100% suspicious. And if you're using it as a hammer and not a broom, the idea is to clean, right? You clean with a broom, you don't clean with a hammer. So if you're using as a hammer or a weapon to protect you in some way now, you know what's going to happen? We're going to lose faith in that government institution. If that's what Doge is right. What we need right now is faith in America. Americans are disillusioned. We don't trust the fucking vaccines. We don't trust the medical industry. We don't trust the government. We don't trust anything at this point. We don't trust the. The government. What's it called when they do a deal just for, like, A building project, whatever that deal. What do you mean trade deals? When you do, like bridges, we don't trust an infrastructure deal. We don't trust anything. Okay, that is a problem. And I think the way you gain trust is by transparency. You are brutally open and honest. And we got to look at the ugly shit that's going on. We got to take that shit on the chin and we got to move past it. What we've been doing for the last fucking 20 years is we've been peeing on ourselves. And when we pee, it's warm. The second you run out of pee, it gets cold and smelly and uncomfortable.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That's why I don't understand why every president after Bill Clinton just didn't do what he just didn't do, what he did. And one thing that Bill Clinton did, and I keep stressing this in this conversation, employee led reform. He went to those federal workers and asked them what needs to be done. That's why these motherfuckers love Bill. That's why let that man get his dick sucked. They didn't give a. Yeah, you know what I'm saying? All the shit you hear about mil over the attack, hey, yeah, yeah. That man made our lives better.

[Andrew Schulz]

I like this.

[D]

I agree with that. But also think about if you're going into a company and you're trying to ax that company or the workers, they're like, oh, what cuts do we need to make around here? They're going to be less likely to tell you everything that needs to be cut because they want to keep their jobs, they want to keep their funding.

[Andrew Schulz]

So it's like, hey, you're paid to do nothing. You're not going to tell Bill Clinton, yo, by the way, I'm doing jack shit. You should probably fire me.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Well, well, I understand what y' all saying, and that would make sense, but if you fire over 250,000 federal employees and you actually have a surplus every year in America because of what you've done, clearly it worked. True. Clearly. They got rid of the right motherfuckers.

[D]

But he also had the doc.

[Andrew Schulz]

But those people were hurt.

[D]

That helped a lot.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Were they hurt? Not if they're wasting fucking our money.

[Andrew Schulz]

No, no, those people were hurt. We might not have been hurt, but those people who lost their jobs are obviously hurt.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Sure. It's never good when people lost.

[Andrew Schulz]

The point is, we need reform. You don't like the way that they're going about it, and there are things that we can unanimously support that we change about the DOGE methodology. But we need some doge. I think we all agree on that.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

By the way, Elon started this conversation. Elon.

[C]

I'm worried about Elon. I want to say that I think Trump is setting him up. I think Trump's setting this guy up.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

What did I edit out the podcast three weeks ago? I saw.

[C]

Did you see it a mile away?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

This guy.

[C]

Elon, run.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yes.

[C]

Ron Elon.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I'm not even joking now.

[C]

Unpack a bag.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Get the. You're rich as fuck. This shit ain't no have to go.

[C]

Bag, go.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

What he doing ain't worth it. Listen, when people say things to me and they be like, yo, Donald Trump really cares about this country, you know, that's the only reason he's doing it. I can believe that coming from him. Elon ain't got no reason to be doing what he doing. None.

[Andrew Schulz]

Why? But he's got the most to gain from America being successful.

[C]

Ron Elon.

[Andrew Schulz]

You don't want to go back to Ron Elon. You pissing off his America thriving helps him thrive. It helps him get to Mars or whatever the hell he wants to do. If America is in a tough financial situation, you know the first thing to get clipped the rocket ship to Mars.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

But why become the most hated man in America?

[Andrew Schulz]

He don't care.

[E]

He's a rich.

[Andrew Schulz]

Like some of these guys don't care. You have to. Charlamagne. How long have you been dealing with hate? You get numb to that shit. You don't give a fuck. He's like, listen, they can hate me, but all these people that hate me own Tesla stock. So how much you hate.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

It's different. It's different when something like, how much.

[Andrew Schulz]

You hate me if all of y' all drive a Tesla. How much you hate me if you.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

All up all on X. I agree. I agree.

[Andrew Schulz]

How much y' all hate me if you're all on X? I agree that you hate me because your friends retweet you when you say shit about me. But at the end of the day, when you got to put some money into the stock market so your kids go to college, you go put it in my fucking company. So shut up.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I'm going to be honest with you.

[C]

I can't describe how I know what's going to happen.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I think. Yeah, see, I want to hear your theory, Chris, because I can't describe one.

[C]

Morning look in his ring. You know who's going to be standing out on the front Porsche?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

The FBI cash Patel. That's right, baby. What's up, man? Sup? How you, man, you good.

[C]

You overstepped Elon, you good.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

And you know, he never liked Elon. They pulling up old podcast shit where he always was going after Elon.

[C]

Ron Elon, you said in May of.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

2023, this is important to all of us because Elon Musk is playing such a major role in the government right now.

[Andrew Schulz]

You said Elon Musk cares about two.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Things, your data and his money. Do you still stand by those words?

[Andrew Schulz]

I don't have that entire quote, but.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That'S what it says. It was in a. You were angry because of endorsement of Governor DeSantis in Florida. And so you were defending Donald Trump, and so you criticized Elon Musk and that was the context for it. And you said, Elon Musk cares about two things, your data and his money. And it matters to us because he's playing such a major role in the government. And so I just wonder if you think that's true.

[Andrew Schulz]

I don't have that full quote in front of me to respond.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Where is he going to run?

[C]

Take that rocket.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

And by the way, hold on.

[C]

Cash can't take you up there, Chris.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

And we going to believe this. You know what we're going to do? We're going to bleep it, and when it happens in the future, we're going to unblep it. What did I edit out? I said, he go back and listen to it. That's what's going to happen. Cash is already sick. Cash has already signaled for it. When I saw Cash put that statement out and then Tulsi followed him and then Mark, Rubio and Hegsef, I said, oh, oh, Elon done stepped in it now. Then after that, Elon done stepped in it now.

[D]

Trump's in the best position, man. He could take credit for all Elon's wins and blame Elon for all.

[C]

How many seats those rockets have?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

It's beautiful, bro.

[Andrew Schulz]

There's a great line.

[C]

He got what, 11?

[Andrew Schulz]

There's a great line in Game of Thrones and it's when Littlefinger is saying to Cersei, he goes, there's one thing I learned my whole life, or something like that, is that knowledge is power. And then Cersei walks up to him and Cersei got her guards, and she goes, guards, apprehend him, take a knife, put it to his throat and slit his throat. And they go up and they're about to slit his throat and she goes, guard, stop. Step back two feet, step back four feet. And then she goes, power is power. That's what Cash Tulsi and Hegseth are reminding Elon and I like that money is not power.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I like that money can influence power.

[Andrew Schulz]

But at the end of the day, power is power.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

And you know how else you know.

[Andrew Schulz]

That those people have power?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Schultz is absolutely right. And I'll tell you another reason you know that. You know that because when you look at Donald Trump and you know what he. The executive order he signed for the fcc, right? Where he's like, basically he doesn't want the FCC to operate as an independent agency. He wants to be the checks and balances for it. That right there he putting grabbing the media by the pussy. Because you can have a TV station, you can have a radio station, but guess what? And you could be the richest people in the world that own these platforms. But guess what? You need to operate FCC fucking license. Yep. So it don't matter what you hold or what money you have, if that man threatens you and says, hey, we're not going to renew your license, are we going to pull your license? Guess what you're going to do? Get in motherfucking line.

[Andrew Schulz]

Now here's the thing. What sitting politicians need to do right now is they need to have honest reflection. If the American people have become so disillusioned in our politicians that we're willing to let the richest guy on the planet, it's not even from here, come in and do sweeping firings of all the government agencies, that's not a reflection on him. That's a reflection of you guys in power and how disillusioned we have become and how untrustworthy we are or how untrustworthy you are. We've lost faith in you guys and your ability to command our, our, our government spending. So now we're willing to let this stranger come in and just start firing people willy nilly. You have to reinstill our faith. You don't do that by going rich, bad guy, bad guy. Rich, well, poor politicians also bad. So who the fuck can we trust?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You're right. But to that point, there are.

[Andrew Schulz]

Y' all gotta do better. Why are you waiting for this guy to come in and fire some people or reorganize some shit? Why aren't you guys doing this? Why isn't there committing every single year? Why the fuck haven't we audited the Pentagon?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Once I go back, I go back to what I said earlier. I don't know why every single president in the history of America after Clinton just did not continue to follow that move.

[Andrew Schulz]

Well, maybe because there are some companies out there that are telling them that's not what you're supposed to do for the next four years.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Well, you're absolutely right.

[Andrew Schulz]

So sometimes money is power.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No, you're absolutely right. You're absolutely right. It's interesting, though, because I watch out Jeff Bezos, I watch out Zuckerberg, I watch out all of them bow down to Trump.

[Andrew Schulz]

Cause power is power.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Power is fucking power, baby. That's a fucking fact. All right. That's the brand of this political talk for the day.

[Andrew Schulz]

Got him.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah. Let's pay some bills and we come back and get to some bullshit. This episode is brought to you by TikTok.

[Andrew Schulz]

Summer tastes like Tic Tac. Tantalize your taste buds this sunny season with Citrus Adventure and orange, two everyday.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Flavors that bring summer in every Tic.

[Andrew Schulz]

Tac Citrus Adventure is a yummy, vibrant medley of lemon, lime and mandarin. And Tic Tac Orange is the perfect mix of tangy and sweet. Visit us at Tiktacusa on social to.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Refresh your summer with TikTok.

[Andrew Schulz]

This message comes from Greenlight. Ready to start talking to your kids about financial literacy? Meet Greenlight, the debit card and money app that teaches kids and teens how to earn, save, save, spend wisely and invest with your guardrails in place. With Greenlight, you can send money to kids quickly, set up chores automate allowance, and keep an eye on your kids spending with real time notifications. Join millions of parents and kids building healthy financial habits together on Greenlight. Get started risk [e-mail] Spotify does it ever feel like you're a marketing professional just speaking into the void? Well, with LinkedIn ads, you can know.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You'Re reaching the right decision maker.

[Andrew Schulz]

You can even target buyers by job.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Title, industry, company seniority, skills.

[Andrew Schulz]

Wait, did I say job title yet?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Get started today and see how you can avoid the void and reach the.

[Andrew Schulz]

Right buyers with LinkedIn ads. We'll even give you a $100 credit.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

On your next campaign.

[Andrew Schulz]

Get started at LinkedIn.com results, terms and conditions apply.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Show we got these church announcements. Heather Kyle Walker, you already know.

[Andrew Schulz]

March 4th. Yeah. Tuesday, March 4th, yeah. Is on Netflix. We're watching as a family, man. I want everybody tuning in. Put that shit on from the morning to the night. Have it going the entire day. Let's run this fucking thing up, man.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I can't wait. March 4, the Life. I believe Andrew Schultz is going to win an Emmy.

[Andrew Schulz]

Thank you.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah, I just think it's very, very personal. I was very confused earlier because when you posted the goddamn promo And I reposted it. This is what popped up on my motherfucking feed. This shit said low sperm count awareness and comedy special about infertility.

[Andrew Schulz]

Pretty good. AI is pretty good.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

But why? Or how?

[Andrew Schulz]

Some of the lines in the promo are about that.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Ooh, yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

He's watched the whole thing.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I did, But I didn't think that that's what you would get from, like, why would you recommend me? Just that AI is listening out of all of that shit him and Matt Damon was talking about.

[D]

Because the AI doesn't know it's a.

[Andrew Schulz]

Joke, so they think it's real.

[D]

Just a talk about.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

They didn't say anything about single fathers. He was in there by himself. No woman. You know what I mean? With the baby. He was like, single father talks to Martian. They didn't say nothing.

[D]

It wasn't any of the dialogue.

[Andrew Schulz]

AI is not good enough. That's the thing. One day they're going to be.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Well, they're going to the life, baby. March 4th, man. What's that? Next Tuesday?

[Andrew Schulz]

Next Tuesday.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I can't fucking wait.

[Andrew Schulz]

Thank you, brother. Yeah, we gotta run it up. Brilliant. Idiots. Run it the fuck up. Let's go.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No, I mean, I can't wait. Just because I like to. See, here's the thing, man. When people, when, when, when people can't stop your momentum, only thing they can do is hate on it. So that's gonna be the best part. The best part is watching all of these motherfuckers sit around and make all these YouTube videos. And then it's gonna be motherfuckers debating and arguing. And that's what's going to make it great. You realize that's what makes everything great nowadays. It's just the conversation that something starts.

[Andrew Schulz]

That's why you got to let people talk.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Let people talk. Like you can't win everybody over. Every, every. And by the way, everybody don't hate you. Most of the motherfuckers that actually like you and support you aren't on social media.

[Andrew Schulz]

Exactly.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

But the ones that are. Oh, they gonna go hard.

[Andrew Schulz]

Oh, let them. They gonna go hard. And we appreciate it.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Hard.

[Andrew Schulz]

We appreciate that.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

And they really can't shit on you. Cause you're shitting on yourself. The whole Spanish, you know what I'm saying?

[Andrew Schulz]

They find a way. I mean, that's the way they make money, man. They make money criticizing art.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah, that's true. I, I call it. It's a, It's a. It's a social media economy of engagement through enragement.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yes, engagement through Enragement.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That's what they do.

[Andrew Schulz]

100.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That's what they do.

[Andrew Schulz]

That's it. But you got to let people talk, man. And you gotta. And at least for me, the way I look at it is, like, I see the people when they come to the shows, and I just. I can hope that they have those. That incredible experience that they remember.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That's what to argue with somebody when you just sold out an arena.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You know what I'm saying? Like, yeah, okay, I respect you for having your opinion, but there's 15,000 people here that think I'm funny, so fuck you.

[Andrew Schulz]

Exactly.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Seriously, that's how you gotta look at things. Listen, I want y' all to put the graphics up, too. Of course, you can put the graphics up for the life, but put the graphics up. Tameka Mallory book I Live to Tell the Story is in bookstores now. Anita Kopak's the Wind on Her Tongue is in bookstores now. I mean, my book imprint, Blackface, was published through Simon and Schuster, has a lot of different books out, but those are the two books that came out this year. And we have another book that is releasing in May, May 20, to be exact. It is from the icon living the legend who has shaped culture and broke so many barriers. The coach of the University of South Carolina women's football team, Dawn Staley. Her book will be out Uncommon Favor on March. I mean, on May 20, 2025, man. Uncommon favor, basketball, North Philly, my mother, and the life lessons I learned from all three. Let me tell you something. We announced Don Staley's book on Friday. She's already a number one bestseller. The audio version is already a number three bestseller, and the book doesn't come out until May 20, 2025, man. Because Don Staley is one of those people who has literally redefined greatness in real life. Like, I personally believe that when we look back and we look at, you know, the. I don't want to say resurgence, because women's basketball has always been there, but how women's basketball just surged in our era. You're going to look back to when Dawn Staley became the coach of the University of South Carolina in 2008, when she was able to, you know, keep Asia Wilson home in South Carolina. And now she's built that dynasty down there at my wife's alma mater at the University of South Carolina. Through that whole time, you saw the Caitlyns come to college and the Angel Reese's, all of those people. But when you look at who I personally believe and I'm only just being very self serving here. When I really, really, really started paying attention to women's basketball was because Don Staley becoming the coach at University of South Carolina in 2008. And also because my wife was a cheerleader. So I used to always watch all the Gamecocks sports.

[Andrew Schulz]

Anyway, are the girls the Gamecocks too?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yes. Let it go. Let it fly. Just let it fly.

[Andrew Schulz]

Nothing to let.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

There's something that. I see it. I can.

[Andrew Schulz]

Nothing at all. I just want to know if they have the same mascot.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yes. Cocky.

[Andrew Schulz]

He's a chicken.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

He's a bird. He's a.

[Andrew Schulz]

His name is Cocky.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

His name is Cocky.

[Andrew Schulz]

Got it. Okay. University of South Carolina Gamecocks, female. Got it. I mean, a cock is. It is weird that a cock is a female. A cock is female. Right. A chicken is.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I don't know.

[Andrew Schulz]

A rooster is male and a cock is.

[D]

Cock was the other name for a rooster.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

What is a hen?

[Andrew Schulz]

Oh, so a chicken is a hen.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Okay.

[Andrew Schulz]

And then a rooster is.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I don't know.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yo. Nobody really respects. What's rooster meat?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Like rooster in Marari. What is rooster meat? Like, have you ever ate.

[C]

A rooster is a fertile adult male chicken.

[Andrew Schulz]

So. So just out of curiosity.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Oh, so that's why they call Dick's cocks. Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

But have we ever tasted cock?

[D]

I don't think so.

[Andrew Schulz]

You know what I'm saying? Like, because we don't know, right? We only eat somebody.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Going to clip that one part. You're going to see that one part on the timeline for years to come. Have we ever tasted. And I'm not repeating it because I.

[Andrew Schulz]

Want to all by himself. Netflix March 4 the Life that's right. No, no, but. But that is a good point. Like, what does rooster taste like? We don't eat rooster because the rooster has to impregnate all the cocks. You only need one rooster.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That's crazy, because there's a rooster. What's that spot in Harlem called? Red Rooster.

[Andrew Schulz]

Red Rooster.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Have you ever actually eaten rooster?

[Andrew Schulz]

Go to the.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I never thought about it.

[D]

I don't think the meat is as.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Good for it either. So what's better? The cock?

[D]

No, the chicken.

[Andrew Schulz]

Have you ever eaten child. But why do you think cocks.

[C]

We must not eat female chickens because we want to keep them alive.

[Andrew Schulz]

All chickens are female. All chickens are female. Cocks are male. But what I want to know is.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No, Chickens are chickens. It's like humans, but it's male, female. So it's like chickens. And then there's Cocks and hens.

[Andrew Schulz]

So you're saying there's cock.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Let's Google that. Google what's the difference between a rooster and a cocktail? And Alex said, cock tastes better, but.

[Andrew Schulz]

Sometimes it's like, don't do that. When you have a chicken wing. When you got a chicken wing and you're just sucking the meat off the bone, you could be sucking the meat off a bone of a cock and.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You don't even know how. The fuck have I never said that to somebody? Yo, that cock's pretty tasty.

[Andrew Schulz]

That cock is delicious. Because you don't know if it's a cock. You assume it's hen, but there's a lot of times they sneak a rooster in there. And now you sucking a bone dry of a cock.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

The moral of the story is Uncommon Favor is in bookstores. May 20, 2025, by the legendary Don Staley. Go pre order that now.

[Andrew Schulz]

Get that.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Let's get back to the show. What we got, Taylor gang? What we got? Oh, medium ugly. Great topic, great topic. Where did this come from? I heard it came from Glorilla.

[E]

It did.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

So is this a new Glorilla record?

[E]

Yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

This wasn't on her album, was it? Man, I love Glorilla. Shout out Glorilla, that's one of my friends.

[Andrew Schulz]

And Georgiana. I tried to put y' all up on Georgiana months ago.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Who the fuck is Georgiana?

[Andrew Schulz]

The other girl in it, man.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Huh?

[Andrew Schulz]

There's another girl in here? Yeah, Georgiana. I've been trying to put y' all on game, but you guys don't listen to me.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I don't know who.

[Andrew Schulz]

I know about every rapper that comes out before y' all do. I say, you make fun of me and then they pop the off.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I don't know who Georgiana is, but salute to Georgiana.

[Andrew Schulz]

Let me hear.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Let me hear this line about this cock. They say, shoot. Shoot. Huh? Duke Dennis was so shoot.

[Andrew Schulz]

Okay, so damn.

[E]

That's Duke Dennis listening to the song. Basically where she says.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

When she says, like, my tall and brown.

[Andrew Schulz]

What else?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

And mixed with a little bit of ugly. Huh? They say shoot, shoot.

[E]

Huh?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Duke Dennis was so those.

[Andrew Schulz]

Those two.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Those two lines are separate though, right? No, they weren't talking about me. Those Dennis. They weren't. I kept like. It was like, uh huh. In between. No, that was. First of all, you need to be in Glorilla's DMs right now.

[Andrew Schulz]

Immediately.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Immediately. He look like Future, don't he? Yeah, he look like Future.

[Andrew Schulz]

I didn't want to say it.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Listen dude, you need to be in Glorilla's DMs because what she said she like her guys tall and brown. I don't know if you tall cause you sitting down.

[Andrew Schulz]

Mixed with a little bit of.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Little bit of ugly. There's nothing wrong, but there's the two words after that.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah. Which. Huh?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Shoot and shoot.

[Andrew Schulz]

Shoot and shoot.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I'm shooting my shot. Duke Dennis, what's up with you?

[Andrew Schulz]

Hey, get here, man.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You better be in her dm. Get here with a picture like that. That picture that Taylor showed us earlier.

[Andrew Schulz]

Oh, no.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Oh, that's too much.

[Andrew Schulz]

You don't want that.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Don't jump out the window.

[Andrew Schulz]

Don't jump out the window with Louisville Slug.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Don't just show her the hen. Don't just let her see the hen out the tops. You don't let her just see the hen. Huh?

[Andrew Schulz]

The hand is the vagina.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Oh, well, shout out to Duke Dennis. Yeah, that was a great shout out. You need to be in our dm.

[Andrew Schulz]

But girls do like. Girls do like a little ugly mix in their dudes. You don't want two pretty dudes ever less.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

It's subjective.

[Andrew Schulz]

No, but for real, like. Like the pretty guy. Like, name like a pretty guy.

[E]

Trey Song.

[Andrew Schulz]

Wait, wait.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No, no. Somebody gave. No, somebody gave a good. Somebody said earlier they called and they talked about Aaron Pierre, the guy that played Mufasa. They said he's so pretty, he looks weird.

[Andrew Schulz]

That's the same. Girls don't want the dude to be too pretty. You want a little bit of ugly mixed in.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Let's stay on that, though, because I've been waiting for some hate. I've been waiting for some hate on Aaron. Go ahead, stay on it.

[E]

I personally don't.

[Andrew Schulz]

I don't know. Aaron. Bring up a picture. Aaron. I'll tell you all.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead.

[Andrew Schulz]

I'll objectively tell him just hating for.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No, I'm only hating just because people love him so much.

[E]

People, I think, like him. I think they get distracted because his eyes are nice.

[D]

What's his name? Aaron. What?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Aaron. Aaron the fucking whacked off to him.

[Andrew Schulz]

Aaron the plumber. The goat.

[D]

Oh.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

But a woman called and said that he's so pretty that he's. He looks strange.

[Andrew Schulz]

That's the thing. Girls don't want guys too pretty because they feel insecure.

[E]

He looks like.

[D]

But then how do you feel about your wives thinking y' all a little ugly?

[Andrew Schulz]

They find. They find ugly hot.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah. Beauty. It's a little bit. I'm medium ugly.

[Andrew Schulz]

You Gotta be a little ugly. If you're just pretty, you're gay more. I think it's true. They think all really pretty guys are gay. Do you not?

[E]

I do too pretty in what way?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

What do you like bottom looking like this.

[D]

Like this guy. If he told me he was gay.

[Andrew Schulz]

I would think that guy's so fucking hot, it's unbelievable.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Let me tell you something. He can't be so hot. Yo, yo. Envy lost it this morning talking about him. Yo, I'm not even joking. Shout out to Aaron P. A. I don't know you, brother. I'm just fucking with you. Yo, Envy lost it.

[Andrew Schulz]

Aaron, you're too handsome.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yo, listen, let me tell you. Let me tell you how Envy lost it. Envy lost it. Cause Lauren and the girl on the phone was going back and forth by Aaron. And then Envy goes, yeah, yeah, he got the ears. The.

[Andrew Schulz]

What.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

The fuck you mean you gotta.

[Andrew Schulz]

Go to ears to hate on a dude I know.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Shut up. Motherfucking fraggle maggot.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, you are fraggled up.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Oh, Envy. You know how you know? Because when you think about the ears, you know what you think about? Holding up can handle balls.

[Andrew Schulz]

Oh, God. As an animal.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Handle, ball.

[Andrew Schulz]

Handle.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Handle. Motherfucking ball.

[Andrew Schulz]

Post that off.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Let me hear you roar like that on back. Let me hear you wrong Mufasa.

[Andrew Schulz]

Oh my God.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

What? What?

[Andrew Schulz]

Crazy.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

What happened?

[Andrew Schulz]

Show him a whole new world. That's a different. That's a different one. Show him the circle of life a weave away.

[E]

I think.

[Andrew Schulz]

Nah, he's too handsome, bro.

[E]

But me and ugly, I think has depends on like if it's a debate, I think to me what you mean? It's like Morris Chestnut. He's universally cute to everybody.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Come on, talk to us. I mean, I know.

[Andrew Schulz]

Why would you pick. Yo, bring Morris Chestnut up. Hold on. Bring Morris Chestnut up. I will be honest. Dark skinned dudes. Dark skinned dudes get to just be handsome. Oh, no, no, no, it's true. Dark dudes. Get this. I got a theory, all right?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Got a whole theory of the melanated man. Dark skinned men are the only people who can be handsome.

[Andrew Schulz]

Oh, God.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Everybody. Dark skinned men the only ones that could be handsome. Yo, when y' all talk about them beige people, y' all say pretty and fine when it comes to that hardcore handsome. Just like that fine aged bottle of any Jalen Hurts. Huh?

[C]

Jalen hurts.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Gay. You gay Chris. Why would he recommend that? Why, why? Why? He been waiting to get that off. You think Jalen hurts mine, Chris?

[Andrew Schulz]

He been waiting for the comic where he could share his feelings about somebody.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

God damn, Chris.

[Andrew Schulz]

In a safe space.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I thought you just wanted to assume.

[Andrew Schulz]

No, look at this sexuality.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Chris, that's crazy.

[C]

That's my quarterback.

[Andrew Schulz]

You want to be friends?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You want to stand up?

[Andrew Schulz]

Hike blitz.

[C]

You guys are missing a push, push joke right there. It's angular.

[Andrew Schulz]

No, what I'm saying is dark skinned dude, to his point, dark skinned dudes get to just be handsome. And there's no caveats.

[E]

That's not true.

[Andrew Schulz]

Name a dark skinned dude that's handsome that they also call gay.

[E]

Trey Songz.

[D]

No, he's not dark.

[Andrew Schulz]

First of all, Trey Songz not dark skinned. And who calls Trey Songz gay?

[E]

A lot of people.

[Andrew Schulz]

Really? I don't know.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You sit with him.

[Andrew Schulz]

I don't know.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

He's with him every day. A fine dark skinned man that people call gay.

[Andrew Schulz]

But me? You want to know what? You want to know what the real is?

[D]

Because they hear you on his podcast every week.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, he's sweating. He don't even believe it. Look at his scalp.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Y' all bringing up too many handsome men. Hey, somebody here. Man, fucking y' all in here. Just naming all these handsome men, y' all went from Aaron Pierre to Mars Chestnut to goddamn. It's because dark Chris yelling out Jalen hurts for no reason.

[Andrew Schulz]

Dark skinned dudes get to be masculine no matter what. And light skinned dudes are looked at as soft.

[E]

That's not. I mean, okay.

[Andrew Schulz]

And this light skinned dudes like me are. Look at his white.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No, no, no, no, no, no.

[Andrew Schulz]

We need to be a little medium ugly. No.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

So we could be, you know what white skinned guys be called? What good looking white guys be called? Attractive.

[E]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

Now they get called Austin Butler. Austin Butler is pretty.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Who is that man? I'm not explaining, yo.

[Andrew Schulz]

I'm not.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

What does People magazine think?

[Andrew Schulz]

People magazine?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

People magazine says the most attractive Austin Butler is pretty. Let's go.

[Andrew Schulz]

He's pretty. That motherfucker's pretty. Brad Pitt is pretty.

[D]

No, nobody's calling Daldoni pretty.

[Andrew Schulz]

Now Baldoni is dark skinned.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Austin look a little meffist white.

[Andrew Schulz]

No, Justin Baldoni is dark skinned white.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

He look a little.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yo, he looks a little messy, yo.

[E]

Fine though. He don't look a little messy before he dated.

[Andrew Schulz]

Hold on, hold on.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Listen. Austin Butler don't look a little messy.

[Andrew Schulz]

We gonna get there. We gonna get there. We gonna get there. Now Travis Kelce before he dated Taylor Swift. Before he dated. He's fine. But he's medium ugly.

[E]

No, he's not.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yes, he is. He is medium ugly. Not full of. He's not pretty. Like, okay, Tom Brady. Tom Brady. Pretty.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Beautiful.

[Andrew Schulz]

He's beautiful. That's what Beautiful. No, no, no, no. Let him get off his chest.

[E]

Justin Bieber's pretty too.

[Andrew Schulz]

Young Zac Efron.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yo, Chris, you are wild. Yo, Chris is going. He got a list. Why would you say that? Listen, if you would have just said Zac Efron, cool. But you said young Zac Efron. Yo, we gotta start. You won't get deported. You keep going. This, this is crazy.

[Andrew Schulz]

Young Zac Efron. Craig Crispy telling his daughters like, yo, you want to see the new Zac Efron movie? I got tickets for the new Zac Efron movie. Justin Bieber's pretty too, though. Justin Bieber pretty. That's the problem when you're. When you're white skinned. When you're light skinned, we gotta be medium ugly to be considered handsome nobody. When you're dark skinned, I don't even know if you're dark skinned anymore. But when you're dark skinned, you just. Masculinity is just suit. So you get to be handsome.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Am I dark skinned?

[E]

You're brown.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Either way, I'm handsome. My point is there's a certain level of melanin that makes you handsome and there's a certain level of melanin that makes you pretty. When you on the beige side, you pretty. When you're white, you get called attractive. What do People magazine do? They.

[Andrew Schulz]

No, they.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Oh, they do say sexy. That's what they use words like sexy for sexy.

[Andrew Schulz]

And that's a girl term. Like a man being sexy.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That's a girl term. That's what people in magazine does. They do the most sexiest man alive.

[Andrew Schulz]

That's my point.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That's what they call Matthew McConaughey, Brad Pitt, those guys, they're sexy.

[Andrew Schulz]

But handsome. White people are dark skinned white people. George Clooney, dark skinned, white. Justin Baldoni, dark skin, white name, Dark skinned, white.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Dark skinned.

[Andrew Schulz]

White is correct. Yeah, we got dark skins too.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Are you talking about the brunette? The hair color?

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, just dark. Everything's dark on him. Ooh, Chris, go hit it. Off white, huh? It's off white, not off white.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I thought you was yelling out offset. I'm like, damn, offset. Fine, goose. I'm like, chris, letting it fly. Chris said, jalen hurts fucking young Zac Efron. And Offset, God damn, says medium ugly.

[E]

And it says Kofi. What's his name? Kofi Anon. What's his last name?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

What do they say about him? He's handsome. He thought Kofi Kingston, but it's his.

[Andrew Schulz]

He's.

[E]

He's just a beautiful guy.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I know. Listen, I get it. Please stop drooling.

[Andrew Schulz]

But, but, but, but listen.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

90S, 90s, 90s romcom fine. I'm 90s romcom fine.

[Andrew Schulz]

But can we just.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Andrew is like 80s, 80s sexy.

[E]

So Ty Leppy.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I gotta be sexy gel.

[Andrew Schulz]

Cause I'm white skinned.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Wait, I'm telling you.

[Andrew Schulz]

If you are dark skinned white.

[E]

He's light skinned. He's handsome as hell though.

[Andrew Schulz]

Name some attractive whites. Go. Dark skinned whites.

[E]

He's not pretty.

[Andrew Schulz]

Name just an attractive white.

[E]

Think about it, think about it.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You know Kyla, Chris over there bricked up. Go ahead Chris. Go ahead Chris. Chris.

[Andrew Schulz]

Go, Chris, go. We got something. Go.

[C]

Well, I would say once considered the best looking white man in the world.

[Andrew Schulz]

Who?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Bruce Reynolds.

[C]

Burt Reynolds.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Is Burt Reynolds.

[Andrew Schulz]

Burt Reynolds. Dark skinned white.

[C]

Also an Italian. Marlon Brando.

[Andrew Schulz]

Marlon Brandon.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Dark skinned white.

[C]

Yes.

[Andrew Schulz]

If you are just dark skinned white.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I see what you're saying.

[Andrew Schulz]

Handsome.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

It's the hair color though.

[Andrew Schulz]

It's all of it. It's dark skinned.

[C]

Now is Robert Redford. Who's that young Robert Redford. Pretty or handsome?

[Andrew Schulz]

Okay, okay, okay, Perfect one. Let me hit you right now. Sean Connery. Dark skinned white. James Bond. Dark skin white. That's a dark skinned white. He's handsome. Light skinned whites. Bright skin whites like myself. Weird. We got to be medium ugly to be considered handsome.

[E]

What do you think of him?

[D]

Brad Pitt.

[Andrew Schulz]

Brad Pitt was too. He was pretty. He wasn't even considered like handsome.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

So he's a light skinned white.

[Andrew Schulz]

He's a light skinned white.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That's the point of him.

[E]

Do you think he's pretty or not?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

This is a good, this is good. What you.

[Andrew Schulz]

Who is he? Why are we talking about him?

[E]

First of all, calm down. This is a great actor named Tyler Levy.

[D]

We got to tell.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Dude, Taylor, you already know. This is my head. What you said is true. Like this is like, it's a handsomeness. Even though he's, he's beige. It's a handsomeness.

[Andrew Schulz]

That's the thing. Light skin, light skinned black dudes need a beard to even be in the conversation.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You might be right about that.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yo, they can't even be in the conversation of handsome without a beard because y' all are so discriminatory towards the light skinned.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Aaron here needs a beard.

[E]

Yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

By the way, that's. It worked for Travis Kelce because it's more masculine when Travis grew the beard out.

[E]

Yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You know what I mean, when he.

[Andrew Schulz]

Don'T consider light skinned.

[D]

You like them. That's what you like.

[E]

Beards in general are just great, though. You should just have a beard, period.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, well, not everybody can fucking grow.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

But, yo, I'm not even joking. You know why I cut mine off?

[Andrew Schulz]

God damn.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You know why I cut mine off?

[D]

Because it was patchy.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No, I cut my beard off because it was too much.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, the girls couldn't handle it.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

It was unbelievable.

[Andrew Schulz]

Ah, for real.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

It was ridiculous.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yo, those Breakfast Club interviews. Oh, my go.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

It was unbelievable. I'm at the tsa. Ladies wanna pat me down.

[Andrew Schulz]

All crazy feeling for me.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I ain't got time for that. Feeling for me, you know what I mean? Let me get back to just being 90s Rom com. I'll come back to the bid when I'm 50.

[Andrew Schulz]

Get this guy off the thing. This is uncomfortable. Get this guy off the thing when I'm 50.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I'll come back to the bit. We're saying all that to say, duke Dennis, you need to be in Glorilla's DMs right now. What are you doing? Okay, Duke Dennis is handsome too. He is? Yeah. Okay.

[E]

He had nice teeth.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Well, you know what, though? Okay, I see what Glorilla did. I see what Glorilla did.

[Andrew Schulz]

She tried to. What's the term? Neg him. She tried to bring him down so that he would go, ooh, girls are getting good.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That's right. I don't know why I just caught that. I didn't. Cause I didn't see the video. But we were talking about her birth culture. But that's exactly what she did.

[Andrew Schulz]

She tried to bring it down.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

It was an egg, you know. You ever read not the Artist deduction?

[Andrew Schulz]

Yes. Oh, the.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

What was that book from? It's a book.

[Andrew Schulz]

Neil Strauss.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Neil Strauss.

[Andrew Schulz]

The Bible. The pickup Bible. Pickup artist, pickup artist.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yes. Hold on.

[Andrew Schulz]

I'm tell you right now, Bible, pickup artist, 100%.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Oh, no, I definitely read that book.

[D]

He has nice teeth, but he wears grills. How do you know what his teeth look?

[Andrew Schulz]

The game, the game, the game.

[D]

Yeah, he always.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yo, yo. We don't gotta hate on the man. We don't gotta hate on the man.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Hating on him.

[D]

Just saying.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Like she's saying, though, there's a lot of medium ugly women that nobody talks about.

[E]

I think he's gonna bring that up.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Let's go.

[Andrew Schulz]

The wigs, the makeup, do we like.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Okay.

[Andrew Schulz]

Do men feel skims? Do we feel more comfortable with medium ugly women? Let's be honest. Let's have a conversation about.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Well, here's the thing that women have that men have never had or guessed. When we were young. When we were young, we talked other way around. It don't matter. We shoot.

[Andrew Schulz]

Shoot his shit facts.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

There was a time when we used to say butter face. So you say everything looked good but her face and that. So if a woman had a body, it didn't matter what she looked like.

[Andrew Schulz]

In the face for the night.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah, I don't think that works for men.

[Andrew Schulz]

It's. There's a. There's a calculation. It's. What was the term? What was it? Kiana was saying it. What was it? It's like, like how much effort for the nut. I forgot the.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

How much effort.

[Andrew Schulz]

How much effort the guy has to put in to orgasm. And with like some super pretty dime piece, whatever, it might be like 10 dates before you get that nut. But with the butter face, it might be that night. So you calculate that and you go, okay, this is worth it for this night. Cause I don't have this 10 dates of time.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah, and see women present, right? So you see a woman, you can see that she has a nice body. Can't really see that with guys. Too much off the top. Or that guy that you showed us, Taylor, with the fucking 20 inch cock. That's six inches wide. Seven inches wide. You don't.

[Andrew Schulz]

That don't show how you know diameter.

[D]

I know that's.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I'm just guessing.

[Andrew Schulz]

That's what I don't guess. I wasn't even trying to calculate diamond.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I'm just. You know why? Cause I was thinking about how tall my 9 year old is and I'm like, that shit was. Was at least four or three.

[Andrew Schulz]

What is going on? Kids and dicks the same ass. Why cut that whole shoe?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I'm talking about the side.

[Andrew Schulz]

Cut that whole.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Who thinks about this? The guy's got a dick the size of a nine year old. What do you want me to do? Nah, this guy, okay, six year old. The guy's got a dick the size of a 6 year old.

[D]

Get dicks of kids not in a stand.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You know what I'm saying? Nobody cared when 50 Cent said he had guns the size of little Bow Wow. Okay? That guy's got a penis the size of little Bow Wow. A young little Bow Wow. That guy's got a penis the size of a young little Bow Wow. Does that make you feel better? Jesus Christ. It does actually.

[Andrew Schulz]

I mean, the shit was like a sleeping bag.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That shit was huge, Shelly.

[E]

You had it when you Put those two water bottles together, huh?

[D]

It was a little longer than that.

[Andrew Schulz]

His dick was.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No, man, no, no. That shit was crazy. Wait till you put the picture up and just put the Blur on it. Show Chris.

[Andrew Schulz]

I didn't know what you were doing.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Chris, put the mic to your lips. And I want Taylor to see it. I just want your. Your reaction, not what you think.

[Andrew Schulz]

See what I'm saying? Chris's laptop, clothes by itself.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You see what the fuck I'm saying, man?

[Andrew Schulz]

Now, that was. That guy's a. That guy's criminal.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Jesus. What else we got, Taylor?

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, we need something else.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Jesus.

[Andrew Schulz]

But shout out all the medium ugly dudes out there.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

We out here, babe.

[Andrew Schulz]

Y' all are what women really want.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

What is keeping it. We're doing all memes matter right now. What is keeping it honest?

[E]

This is just. But what's going on with Neo? I don't know if y' all have any take on it.

[Andrew Schulz]

He got all the wives or something like that.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah, Neil got four girlfriends.

[E]

Hey, man, salute, friends.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Let me hear what he said. What do you say about this? What do you say?

[Andrew Schulz]

Times are tough, man. Eggs are expensive, you know? Now is the time to get multiple wives. Real talk.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

He's on the Ricky Smiley.

[E]

It's not even wives. It's just girlfriends.

[Andrew Schulz]

I'm just saying, like, now girls need. They need provisions.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Ricky. He's on Ricky Smiley's show. And Neo is. Let me see, what does it say?

[E]

Basically, it's telling his mother of Neo.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Kids calls him out for exposing him to his polymerase, his Polynesian sauce lifestyle. Let's listen.

[E]

Back to his kids, though. He's being honest with his kids, too.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Questions about that, about your relationship.

[Andrew Schulz]

Of course they do. And I answer them. Yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Okay. Honesty again.

[Andrew Schulz]

I'm not lying to nobody, not even my children.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Hey, this is Daddy's girlfriend. And so is that. And so is that. And so is that. You got no problem. She gonna make you some cereal and.

[Andrew Schulz]

She gonna cook lunch and she gonna wash her clothes. Come on.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

It's all good.

[Andrew Schulz]

Come on. It's family.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

It's community.

[Andrew Schulz]

Well, you need your own book in the.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Do your kids have questions about. Here's the thing, man. This is what I think about when I think about how much money is Neo making to be able to have four girlfriends like him having four girlfriends. That's on him. I ain't tripping off it because, you know, if. If all of them are cool with it, who are we to have an opinion? I just want to know how much money they Make.

[Andrew Schulz]

But here's the thing.

[D]

Like, once it's back, catalog for like 30 mil.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You got four girlfriends and kids. I don't think 35 million.

[Andrew Schulz]

Think about, think about, think about. About. Once you have the house that has enough rooms for them, the cost is not that much more. You know what I mean? Like, they, like, expected gifts, but they could share it.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Four girlfriends and kids shows.

[Andrew Schulz]

How many kids do you have?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I don't know. He has a thing, maybe three, but.

[D]

Oh, he lives with them, though. Is that the better way to go about it or the way Nick Cannon does?

[Andrew Schulz]

Yo, Nick gotta be the richest human being on planet Earth.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Well, Nick is different because Nick just got a bunch of kids. We don't know if Nick has a bunch of girlfriends. No, but he likes Valentine's Day.

[D]

But he takes care of all of.

[Andrew Schulz]

Them, so I think this seems so.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Exhausting, having to eat four on Valentine's Day.

[Andrew Schulz]

Just manage them emotionally. All them telling you what they had to do in their day. Like, you got to be in a post with each one of them.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I gotta interview Neil soon.

[Andrew Schulz]

You gotta get. Yeah, yeah, that might be it.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I need to get to the bar. I need to know if they all have sex together. I need to know, like, where did you meet all of them? Like, did you have one and then y' all picked up a. Up another one? Like, what? How did this happen? Did you eat all four vaginas on Valentine's Day?

[Andrew Schulz]

Isn't having one exhausting?

[D]

Do you only do it on Valentine's Day?

[E]

I think I'm missing a point.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No, I'm just saying in general. But Valentine's Day is supposed to be that day I think I'm missing.

[D]

Is that why you got wax?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yo, I'm gonna tell y' all something about that wax. Best decision I made in my.

[Andrew Schulz]

How'd it grow back?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

It's still there. It's not happened yet.

[Andrew Schulz]

You still bald, bro. Wow.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Go get motherfucking wax. And I'm telling you, it's a game changer. You all going to learn, you know.

[E]

I can't believe you did that, though.

[D]

Why none of us?

[E]

Because that shit really does hurt. And I can't believe you.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

It's not gonna hurt the next time I go.

[E]

Yes, it is.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No, they say. They said the more you go, the less it hurts.

[E]

Yeah. This is the second time. You think he says it's about to be, like, done after?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I think so. I'm say so. I wish. I wish y' all could feel my boss. I'm not even Joking. Because, you know, as men, we all do the Al Bundy and shit. The way them shit feel with no hair on them. I'm like, why do we. Why did God even put hair there to begin with?

[E]

But the balls is crazy, though.

[D]

But when it gets stubby, isn't it.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Gonna like, the ball didn't even. Wasn't even the part that hurt the bulls, really. No, it was everything around it. The ball wasn't really that bad. Go get waxed. I promise you, it's the best thing you will ever do, bro.

[D]

How long do you have to let it grow out before you get wax?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You go, I go, I. She told me to come every six weeks. She told me six. I don't know. You go every four. You told me every six. You had your whacked before, Schultz.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, but I didn't do it again.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Why?

[Andrew Schulz]

So it's a whole. I'm like, lazy, dude. I'm not gonna go and let some Ukrainian woman yanking my balls, bro.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I love it. I love it. Alex, just try it.

[Andrew Schulz]

Do your butthole. Do like.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Nah, you gotta do the ball.

[Andrew Schulz]

Doing the top feels weird, you know?

[D]

Weird to go do it after he did it. That just makes it weird.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I'm the first man to get a wax.

[D]

You are the first guy I know who's gotten away. Nah, that's not gay.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, you're the first straight guy, dude. Yeah.

[D]

This. This is like your mental health.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

A little crooked. It's debatable. We're all a little crooked, right?

[C]

545.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

545.

[Andrew Schulz]

What's 5:45?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

What's 5:45 on the clock?

[Andrew Schulz]

What is that? What is that? This.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

If you screen at six o' clock, 5:45. Let's. You got 15 minutes.

[Andrew Schulz]

How you know all these gay terms?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You got 15 minutes at 6:00. That's when it stops.

[Andrew Schulz]

Give us another thing.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

We gotta go back straight at six. Okay. What else we got? Taylor. I'm sorry. What is. I'm sorry.

[E]

Did y' all see this? Like, he just.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Oh, this is crazy.

[Andrew Schulz]

Nah, this makes me sad. I don't even.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

NFL sports analyst Steve Smith Sr. Accused of sleeping with a married woman. Husband post alleged text exchange and phone conversation with Steve. You've been fucking my wife, bro. You knew she was married. You're having the wrong conversation with the wrong person, my man. Is. He's this actual phone call?

[E]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yo, this is.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Let me hear him. I didn't hear.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, you've been my wife, bro. What you got to say for yourself?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Sorry. I'm sorry.

[C]

Yeah, sorry.

[D]

You knew she was married to you.

[Andrew Schulz]

You're not a idiot, man. You're Steve Smith. Steve Smith Senior. He's a fan. What kind of dumb was that?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Why is Steve still on the phone? Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

Why are you. Quiet, man. Be a man.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Why is Steve still on the phone with this. That guy? He ain't judging.

[Andrew Schulz]

Steve.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I wouldn't even admit to that. Why?

[D]

Hey, yo, Steve D. He got the text messages and everything. Bunch of selfies going back and forth.

[Andrew Schulz]

My wife, bro. All right, turn that off, man.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

First of all, I'm sorry is crazy, all right? I'm sorry is wild. But once again, my man. I don't know his name. What's his name? There's no need to have all that smoke for Steve. And Steve Smith, the smoke should be for your wife.

[D]

Yeah, but he's blowing up Steve shit, because Steve is married as well.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Oh, okay. See, you should have led with that. I didn't know that part. Okay. Are we sure about this? Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

Nah, I get that. You gonna fuck my shit up? I'm fucking your shit up. Let's go.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Are you sure that he's. Steve Smith is married.

[Andrew Schulz]

I'm pretty sure, but they might have an arrangement. So now you blew him up for nothing. I guess you can still put some stress on his wife and his marriage. N. I get that you going to come for somebody else's household. They got every right to come for yours, man.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

But is he going to leave his wife, though?

[Andrew Schulz]

Who?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

The guy.

[Andrew Schulz]

He got it.

[E]

Oh, well, it's okay.

[Andrew Schulz]

What?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Well, look, that's what's okay. Oh, she's white.

[D]

No, no, no. That's his current wife.

[Andrew Schulz]

Okay, so it's okay. That's okay because she's white?

[E]

I'm not saying it's okay.

[Andrew Schulz]

That's crazy, Taylor.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That's what you said.

[Andrew Schulz]

And you.

[D]

You approved it, too.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No, I just asked. I said she's white. I know. That's what Taylor was going.

[E]

I'm just saying, like, I'll be more.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Hold on. That shit said it's Steve Smith Sr. Married. Click on that. This one? No, under there. Under that one. It said it's Steve Smith Senior married. All we know about and the flute to Steve, too, man. Steve was the first podcaster that we launched on Black Effect when we launched five years ago. The Cut to It podcast with Steve Smith Sr. Make it bigger. That's what she said. Steve Smith Sr. Has been accused of infidelity by anything. I don't want to know if he's married. Or not. And supposed to include. Okay, that's rough. He met Steve Smith Sr. At work.

[D]

But you should see other dude's wife.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I'm like, she bad? No.

[D]

Like, why he's doing it? Little medium, less than. It's like less than me.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

What the body look like though?

[Andrew Schulz]

Clinton?

[D]

Oh, it could have been a butterfly.

[Andrew Schulz]

Clinton.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

What the fuck?

[Andrew Schulz]

I'm just saying.

[D]

Yo, Michael, was I.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

What does he.

[Andrew Schulz]

Bobby, you fuck. Who's close? Like, if it's just a one time thing, he's not trying to like you looking at.

[D]

I mean, we can't.

[Andrew Schulz]

What?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Oh, man.

[Andrew Schulz]

What? What? Listen, this is sad.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You know what I want to tell married couples, man, Just be honest. Because you'll be surprised what either one of y' all would allow. Yes, but when you get like. It's hard to recover from betrayal. Yeah, you lied to me.

[Andrew Schulz]

Public humiliation.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You publicly embarrassed me. You're coming home to me, sleeping with me every night. Knowing you doing it with this guy like this, the betrayal. I can't trust you anymore. I might come to you and say, hey, I want to have a Polynesian sauce relationship. Or, hey, I want to have a girlfriend. You might come to me and say you want to have a Polynesian sauce relationship, don't want to have a boyfriend. Or you might just want to get a little dick on the side. You know what I'm saying? You might be adventurous. This guy in the North Face is out there with a 20 inch. He's out there with bow wow in his pants. Okay, and what are you.

[Andrew Schulz]

What did.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Come on. I don't know. There's certain things I can't provide, and there might be certain things that that person can't provide. But we both love each other. We come home, we mind our business. All I'm simply saying is that wouldn't work for me. But I'm just simply, simply telling you all to be honest in a relationship, you don't want to. You rather this.

[Andrew Schulz]

No, this is gross. When women cheat, it's fucking disgusting. I don't even like. I'm be honest with you. I'm going to be honest with you. I don't even like when women cheat in movies.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Damn.

[Andrew Schulz]

When I'm watching a movie and a woman cheats, I watch this shit like.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yo, who the fuck.

[E]

You're being biased. Why you don't think it's disgusting for a guy?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Because you know what women should do.

[Andrew Schulz]

Whenever it is you letting some fucking stranger inside your body, but instead you.

[E]

Could go inside a stranger's body.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No, we don't cheat. Black men don't cheat. White men don't really cheat either.

[Andrew Schulz]

White. Listen, first of all, white men would.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Rather kill you than cheat on you.

[Andrew Schulz]

There's no.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

It's true. White men would rather kill you than cheating on. I'm a killer. I'm going to go on with my own family. If they're not armed, they are the.

[D]

Only ones that do that.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That's what I'm saying. A white man would rather kill his wife and then go on to be with his other family.

[Andrew Schulz]

That's her fault. She's like, you'll never cheat on me. I'm like, of course I won't.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Right.

[Andrew Schulz]

Oh, you dead.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

It's something to that. It's something to that. All I'm simply saying is, man, just be honest. What's wrong being honest with your partner?

[Andrew Schulz]

Nothing's wrong with it, but, you know, sometimes it doesn't go that way. Man, that shit sucks. Why would that girl text that man those things?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

And what if you confront your woman for cheating? You'd be like, yo, did you cheat on me? She'd be like, a little bit. What the fuck you mean a little bit?

[D]

You just said be honest. Which one is it?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

What does a little bit mean? No. And then she never tells you what a little bit means.

[Andrew Schulz]

And then you just gotta think about it. You just think it went in a little. Nah, that shit is gross.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

What is a little bit?

[Andrew Schulz]

Women and cheats should go to prison for a hundred years.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

What if she just said. What if you confront your wife for cheating and she just goes. You're like, what do you gotta say for yourself? I'm sorry. Oh, my God. Jesus Christ. God bless, man. Just be honest. I'm not even joking when I say that for all couples out there, just. I think honesty is always the best policy. What else we got, Taylor? We got any more ads?

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, let's do some ads and then hit ask.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Do some asking, idiots, man.

[Andrew Schulz]

Foreign.

[E]

Summer'S here and Nordstrom has everything.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You need for your best dress season ever.

[E]

From beach days and weddings to weekend getaways in your everyday wardrobe, discover stylish.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Options under a hundred dollars from tons of your favorite brands like Mango skims.

[E]

Princess Polly and Madewell. It's easy, too, with free shipping and free returns in store order, pickup and more. Shop today in stores [e-mail] or download the Nordstrom app.

[Andrew Schulz]

Savor every last drop of summer with Starbucks.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

From bold refreshers to rich cold brews.

[Andrew Schulz]

The sunniest season only gets better with.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

A handcrafted iced beverage in your hand. Available for a limited time.

[Andrew Schulz]

Your summer favorites are ready at Starbucks with a Venmo debit card. You can Venmo more than just your friends. You can use your balance in so many ways. You can Venmo everything. Need gas? You can Venmo this. How about snacks? You can Venmo that. Your favorite band's merch? You can Venmo this or their next show? You can Venmo that. Visit Venmo Me Debit to learn more. The Venmo MasterCard is issued by the Bancorp bank and a pursuant to license by Mastercard International Incorporated. Card may be used everywhere. Mastercard is accepted.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Venom purchase restrictions apply back to the show I just Somebody just sent me a text from Academics tv. It said Charlemagne said Drake wasn't being suppressed on radio on his latest podcast. The numbers, however, show Drake is being suppressed on radio with Give Me a hug only getting 2% airplay and Nokia getting 0%. Why do y' all think that's suppression though? What I said on the podcast was that the label called and asked what the single is. So being at the label called and asked what the single is. That mean that the label is willing to work a record to radio, but they probably just got to find the right record to work. And if Gimme a Hug is I'm looking at the Hot 100 right now. Give me a hug is number six, Nokia is number 10. So clearly those are the records that radio needs to be playing. But what y' all need to understand is that radio is often late on a lot of things. It's only been a week, guys. Give it a minute. You know what I'm saying? If Nokia gets a lot of requests or Give Me a Hug gets a lot of requests or you know, they do this. By the way, I think the. What is it called? The call out research hook that they do to determine what records get played. I think that is such an outdated concept. It's like a call out research hook. So if I'm explaining it right, they'll call you and ask you are you familiar with this song? And based on your familiar, I'm getting.

[Andrew Schulz]

Caught up like that word.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

If you're familiar with the word, if you're familiar with the song.

[Andrew Schulz]

Familiarity.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yes. What word did I just see? Familiarity Ass on Vlad tv. Damn, I forgot what word?

[Andrew Schulz]

Influential.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Influential. Damn. This dude was dis influent.

[Andrew Schulz]

Intro.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I must influence. Influence.

[Andrew Schulz]

Fucking Winchel.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That's what he was. Influence. When you influence people. Influence. Influential. Influence. What you said influential. Influential. Influence intro.

[C]

There you go.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That's what he was.

[C]

That's what it is.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No, it wasn't influential, was.

[Andrew Schulz]

It was, yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Oh, well. But to call out research, if you're familiar with the record, then you know, it gets more spins. But just give it a minute like that. That's not suppression. Just because an artist comes out with an album sells 250,000 the first week, debuts at on number five with one record and number 10 on a record on Billboard. That's not suppression, guys. You know what I'm saying? Like, it's not like Drake and Party promoted this project. Crazy. It's not like they gave you videos before they put out singles. They just gave you a body of work and people responded to it. Drake is going to be fine, y' all. Meanwhile, Kendrick has the number one song in the country this week again, but it's Luther, Kendrick Lamar and Sza. So last week it was Not Like Us. Not Like Us is number two this week. All of these guys are doing great. TV off is number four. Squabble up is number five. All of this is great for the game. Who cares? Who cares? Let's do some asking. Idiots. Philomena1996 says, is an athlete at the top of their game or a musician more impressive to watch? Fantastic fucking question, Philomena. What do you think, Schultz?

[Andrew Schulz]

Athlete. Not even a question. Because a musician has a longer prime. Like, a musician's prime could be a decade.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

But an athlete, that's a small window. You know, we're talking about, like, the two or three years that James Harden was doing. What James Harden was doing. It was. You're just watching a magician on the court.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I would say, depending on what type of athlete.

[D]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

Ooh. Okay, go.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

We talking baseball, if we talking football, if we're talking boxing, if we're talking football, soccer, those, even baseball to a certain extent. Those are very impressive sports to watch. Track and field. When you're watching Simone Biles and, you know, Gabby Douglas when she. Like, when you're watching. When you're watching Usain Boat. Like, I remember being in. I think I've told this story a million times. I remember being in Jamaica during, I think it was the 08 Olympics. Oh, wow. And we were leaving Jamaica, the airport stopped. I'm not even exaggerating. Like, literally, they stopped to watch Usain Bolt run. Now, it only took 15 seconds, if that much. But the fact that literally they made an announcement. Everybody stop. What the fuck you're doing to watch. That's a different Level. So I would say depending on the.

[Andrew Schulz]

Athlete because, you know, it's such a small window. So the opportunity to watch them during that time, especially like a sprinter. I mean, Hussein had an amazing career a lot longer, most sprinters. But still, like, there's some of these guys that might go to one Olympics and everything has to work out around that moment. Them to be at their prime. So, yeah, athlete.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

But when you watch in prime. Michael.

[D]

That's what I was gonna say. What about.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You know what I mean? Yeah, but there's only a few artists that are like, our musicians that are so gifted that you, like. Wow.

[Andrew Schulz]

To me, it's like, it wouldn't even be. It would be like a singer. Like watching Whitney in her prime. Like watching Whitney.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah, yeah. Whitney at football games, she did the national anthem.

[Andrew Schulz]

Like, and I guess that can last for a while, too. But there's something about that connection. Like, I don't know, maybe watching Beyonce at the height of her superstardom and fame, her physical ability to do those dance moves as well as, like, sing. She's not using like a. Of course she can still do it now, but I think that Beyonce would even say maybe five years ago or 10 years ago, she was, you know, the. In her peak. Peak, peak live performance. Maybe she'd say, no. I don't know. I'm just assuming that when you're younger. Because I'm 41 years old and I can barely fucking walk after I do some shit. Right. So seeing that, I guess. But there's something about an athlete in his prime, like Roy Jones Jr. In his prime, like this small window where you get to watch sheer and utter dominance.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That's why it's hard to have conversations with people who never saw Michael Jordan.

[Andrew Schulz]

It's crazy.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You had to see it. If you saw it, you would understand what the fuck? We talk, bro.

[Andrew Schulz]

I was a Knick fan during Jordan's reign. Imagine that.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Come on.

[Andrew Schulz]

When he would come into the game with 10 minutes left in the fourth quarter and didn't matter how much we were up. You were holding your breath for eight straight minutes because you know at any point in time, he could take that game over and. Yeah, that's. It's. Yeah, I think. I think it's athlete. It's not to take away from musicians, but seeing an athlete also, there's no. It's pure meritocracy in. In athletics, whereas mu. Whereas music, it's like some people, like Prince, some people like Michael Jackson is. Is kind of like what you enjoy, but at the end of that game, the Bulls either won or they lost.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah, it's. It's athletes, because to that point too, musicians don't ever like. And I guess that's why we like rap battles so much, because you get to see people actually go against each other.

[Andrew Schulz]

That's a good point.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

With athletes, you get to see them go against the best night in and night out. So you really get to see these crush competition musicians just playing. Musicians are just playing one on one.

[Andrew Schulz]

Well, that's the thing about the battle, which is so interesting with rap, is that they've agreed to do the same thing. You know what I mean? Like, Adele and Drake can't really compete at music because they do different types of music.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

They could, but it'd be gay.

[Andrew Schulz]

You know what I'm saying, though? You know what I mean? But, like, when it. When two rappers battle, they're Both are going, hey, we're going to battle. We're not having a battle based on the music. Like, Drake isn't going. I'm gonna battle Kendrick and I'm gonna do my R B. And Kendrick is gonna do his thought provoking.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Oh, my God.

[Andrew Schulz]

What?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That would be so silly.

[Andrew Schulz]

That's what I'm saying. It doesn't work like that.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You gotta rap, you gotta.

[Andrew Schulz]

Hey. So maybe that's why it's so enticing, like, even watching the guys. Do you ever watch the, like, the rap battles, like the underground?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Oh, yeah, all the time. That shit is incredible because these guys are very gifted in the art of battling.

[Andrew Schulz]

It's not even funny too. They're so like. To me, it reminds me a lot of, like, joke writing.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

It's not even the raps I like.

[Andrew Schulz]

What do you.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I like the fact that these guys can say the most disrespectful shit about each other.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

But have the emotional intelligence to know it's just a rap battle.

[Andrew Schulz]

It's like a roast. It's a lot of parallels with it, but yeah, it's really cool watching those guys.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I wrote what I didn't write, but I was a producer on a fantastic movie called Bodied that was executive produced by Eminem. And it literally is just all about rap battle culture. Salute to Joseph Kahn. He directed that film. Y' all should go check that out. It's called Bodied. I might have produced that. Like, was it a decade ago.

[D]

Now you have a small part in it.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah, I played a. I had a role in it. I played whatever smack would be to this era. The host of the rap battles.

[D]

I remember that.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah, check that Out.

[Andrew Schulz]

If you couldn't be an American, what nationality?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

How you skip? How you skip? Papa Paul.

[Andrew Schulz]

Oh, my bad. Is it gay for a guy to have a threesome with two studs? No.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Not as long as there's two vaginas there.

[Andrew Schulz]

That's a fire.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Hey, come on. Never forget the acronym for studs.

[Andrew Schulz]

Hold on. Okay, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I'm just saying, never forget the acronym for studs. Some titties under that shirt.

[Andrew Schulz]

Under that dress.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No. Some titties under that shirt. Under some titties under that shirt. Titties under that shirt.

[Andrew Schulz]

Fair enough.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Okay.

[Andrew Schulz]

Okay. Now here's the question. What if the studs come strapped?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Put them shit away.

[Andrew Schulz]

No, no, no. They strapped. There's vagina.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Put them away. Use them on each other.

[Andrew Schulz]

No. Okay, but you. You can hit from the back, and then the strap is still. Could you hit from the back with a strap? You know, she got a strap and you reach around and that, and you're. You're holding her waist.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

But that dick slapping against your finger, that's crazy.

[Andrew Schulz]

I'm just saying, could you do it?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

And studs are wild, so you probably got to tell them to chill. Cause they'll be trying to penetrate you and shit.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Slapping this dick across your mouth like, yo, what the fuck?

[Andrew Schulz]

Yo, yo.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Nah. If you gotta move to strap out the way to get to the vagina. Yeah, you can.

[Andrew Schulz]

That's gay.

[D]

That's gay.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Nah, nah, nah, nah. You're right. I didn't. You know what? Papa Pow. You're right. I didn't think about it.

[Andrew Schulz]

But now that we thought about it.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Now that we thought about. If you got to do this, if you got to push the scrap out the way, you got to move dick anywhere. Oh, even if it's GMO dick.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

It don't even gotta be the real thing. Oh, my God. Kyle Elmendorf says, if you couldn't be an American, what nationality would you want to be? Good question. What you think, Schultz?

[Andrew Schulz]

Scottish, bro. Of course.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah. I would be either.

[Andrew Schulz]

Or Mexican.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Any. Yeah, I would be Caribbean or Ghanaian. Well, anything from the motherland. So I'm. My African ancestry says I'm 97 West African, so. Sierra Leone, Senegal, Guinea Bissau. But, you know, I love Anguilla, so I would have no problem being from the beautiful island of Anguilla. That would be my nationality. Caribbean. Caribbean, the nationality. Or it would be Anguillian.

[Andrew Schulz]

You'd be Anguillan.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yes.

[Andrew Schulz]

Nah, Scottish. The motherland. But also Mexican. Just because it Seems fire.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Ooh, this is a good one.

[C]

All right.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Goss says, fellas, how do we feel about government telling us what or what not to talk about? What do you think?

[Andrew Schulz]

I mean, I don't believe that they should do that, but at the same time, it makes it more dangerous and funny. So if there is something taboo that. That. That's where shit gets exciting, especially as a comedian, you know, when you could talk about absolutely anything, then, like, pushing out back about, like, political takes, and that kind of stuff is kind of boring. Comedy is most interesting when you're doing hot takes, when you're restricted, you know, and then when you can just talk about whatever, you know, that's where you. In my opinion, that's where you got to go personal. You got to talk about what's going on in your life, because everybody's going to have their hot take about what's happening politically.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah. You know, the most interesting thing about what's going to happen in America is that we are a country of people who know what freedom is. We are addicted to freedom because that's all we've ever known.

[Andrew Schulz]

It's our identity.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That's our identity. So when you have, you know, things like, you know, media restriction or, you know, whatever it is, people are gonna rebel against that. Just naturally, the civil unrest that is going to happen in this country, whenever you try to restrict any freedoms from people, do we really need that? So why restrict people's freedoms? Like, I understand. I saw Elon Musk tweet out the other day, and I'm paraphrasing the tweet. He said something like, you know, once Hitler got control, he suppressed the media or something like that.

[Andrew Schulz]

Who said this?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Elon Musk. Oh, yeah. So it's like, that's not what you should want. Like, you shouldn't want Donald Trump, you know, writing executive orders to where independent agencies like the FCC have to answer to him, which they're pushing, which the FCC is pushing back on.

[Andrew Schulz]

Right.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You shouldn't want that because he's the President of the United States of America. This isn't China. This isn't Russia. People should be able to have an opinion about their leader.

[Andrew Schulz]

Amen.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Simple as that.

[Andrew Schulz]

Amen.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

So when you start seeing restrictions like that happen in this country, pushback. We are not only are we addicted to freedom, we're an entitled people when it comes to freedom.

[Andrew Schulz]

Oh, yeah. You're not going to restrict us because we'll rebel just off the strength of you telling me I can't.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You see what I'm saying, yeah. And that's what I think is what we're about to see. A lot of that if things keep going the way that they are. Abdon CAA says, what's the most useless talent you have? Hmm? What's the most useless? Probably gaydar.

[Andrew Schulz]

Your gaydar is way off.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No, it's not, actually.

[Andrew Schulz]

You just found out Chris is gay today. We've been doing this podcast for a decade.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Well, I didn't know. He's just a little crooked. It's the difference between gay and crooked.

[Andrew Schulz]

What's the difference?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Crooked means that, you know, when it hits six o' clock, you back straight. Gay means you just gay all the time and it's fine.

[Andrew Schulz]

We started having a conversation about attractive men and Chris was right.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

It was crazy.

[Andrew Schulz]

But like year to year he was like zac Efron from 98.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You know what I'm saying?

[Andrew Schulz]

Like that is. That was his peak. He's like, he was in his prime.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Picking your boys like you pick your wine, Chris. I tried that. Zac Efron, 92. You know what I'm saying? That's crazy.

[E]

Chris, he's not talking about dick in the beginning. Is not gay.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No, you came in talking about dick also.

[Andrew Schulz]

You could talk about dick without being gay. It's a part of the body. What are we gonna ignore it?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

This is why I don't mind Trump's slowing down some of this progressive shit because you came in here as a woman talking dick. Let me see. Oh, because we want to make you feel comfortable.

[Andrew Schulz]

I want you gay.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I want to hear you pregnant.

[Andrew Schulz]

I want to know what you're so afraid of. If you're talking about how you're afraid of this dick, that is true also. We just like seeing the biggest of.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Anything that is a fact and knowing the best.

[Andrew Schulz]

What's your top five?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That's right. And Taylor, you, a person that is scoffed at 10 inch penises, looked at.

[Andrew Schulz]

Him and be like, we never seen you scared the dick.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You think that's big. I feel sorry for your wife. We didn't even ask for that laugh part. Why did you? Why did I feel sorry for your wife?

[Andrew Schulz]

That is uncomfortable.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You know what I'm saying?

[Andrew Schulz]

This podcast to say something like that.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

And so you came in here showing off huge penises. We commented on them and now we're the gay ones.

[Andrew Schulz]

Isn't that funny how they do us like that?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

What's your most useless talent that you have?

[Andrew Schulz]

So, yeah, almost useless talents.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I think it's your ability to just fart any and everywhere.

[Andrew Schulz]

Bowel movements. Yeah, I can have a bowel movement anyway.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

It don't make no. I've never seen anything like it. I've never. Like. It don't matter. Where you at? If Schultz is dipping off, he's going to take a. It's like. It's like. Like a dog market.

[Andrew Schulz]

I'm not afraid, man. I'm just not afraid.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Have you ever in like one of those nasty ass gas station bathrooms? What do you mean?

[Andrew Schulz]

You think that's the worst place I've. Shit.

[E]

What's the worst place?

[Andrew Schulz]

Name. Name a place and I'll tell you if I've shut there.

[E]

You shit outside before?

[Andrew Schulz]

Of course. I mean, come on. Not even. Yes.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Do you have. There's like a. Is it a. Like a disease? It's like interorbital file. What is it? Ibs? Like what? Like.

[Andrew Schulz]

Nah, I'm just built different.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You clear? No, I'm not. Like, he's something.

[Andrew Schulz]

I'm him. I'm him.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah.

[E]

When it comes to ocean before.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah. I actually prefer it. Why is that gross? You don't think before a show before.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

A show to you?

[Andrew Schulz]

Shit, I used to have to do it every single time before I went on stage. Like, I think it was like a nerves thing. And then I got a little more.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Comfortable because I've been on, I've come to shows and like, I just. And randomly. I wonder if Andrew got a shit right now. Only because you shit so much sometimes, you know what I'm saying? Like when I saw fifth come out at the garden show and he like hit you in the stomach lovingly. I'm like, yo, you've been out there for an hour.

[Andrew Schulz]

Please.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

He's been out there for an hour. Now is not the. The time to be hitting them in the stomach, you know what I'm saying? What up, blood?

[Andrew Schulz]

What up? What up?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You know what I'm saying? Like, we don't need that. Let's do two more. Okay, Poster God, I'm glad you come to us with this because this is good topics for the brilliant idiots. Poster God says if I jack off more than once a day and I'm married 25 years, is that a problem? Well, Poster God, it depends what you're jacking off for. If you're jacking off because you know that, you know, you and your wife may get it on. And that's the thing about being married. When you're married, you just never know. So you always want to be ready and we always know that. Second shot. I don't know how Old you are. Post to God. The older you get, you'll realize how to, you know, maintain that first nut. But if you're a young guy, you might want to jack. Well, he's been married 25 years.

[Andrew Schulz]

He's married 25 years?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah. So he might be a little older. You should know how to maintain that first nut.

[Andrew Schulz]

If I jerk off, we're not having sex today. Really? Yeah.

[D]

That's now. What about like an early in the day jerk off? So it's. You're kind of getting, like, the nut and a half for the second.

[Andrew Schulz]

If I jerk off today, we're not having sex tomorrow.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Oh, no. Y' all wild.

[Andrew Schulz]

You know what I mean? I'm saying something. There's something in the food.

[D]

We got rfk out the chamber, because I know at night time we going to go.

[Andrew Schulz]

No, no. I remember when I was, like, dating my wife, I would want to empty out the chamber so I could deliver. But I've been married, I have a child. So if I jerk off Monday, sex might happen around Friday.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You have to eradicate the stigma of married couples having wax sex, bro.

[Andrew Schulz]

I didn't say the sex is whack, okay? I just says Friday.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Well, I'm talking about on your end.

[Andrew Schulz]

I'm. I listen, I'm here to be hard.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You sound like you putting that dick down the way you need to. If there's dicks like, show him the dick again, Taylor, just to let him know what types of dick are out here.

[D]

I think he got it.

[Andrew Schulz]

Oh, I'll never forget that dick.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You know what I'm saying?

[Andrew Schulz]

I'll never forget that dick as long as I live.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

It's dick like that. And Steve Smith seniors out here, every fucking Schultz. You got to remember these things as a married man. Those are the things that you're up against every day as a married man.

[Andrew Schulz]

Now, you're right about that.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You know what I'm saying?

[D]

Get a Brazilian wax and keep your wife.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You goddamn right. I'm gonna tell you something. You think I'm joking?

[Andrew Schulz]

I don't think you're joking.

[D]

I know you got it.

[Andrew Schulz]

You and your wife have sex or y' all just scissor?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I'm gonna tell you something. All I'm gon. All I'm gonna say is, you know the word I've heard in my house the last two weeks?

[Andrew Schulz]

Fraggle Magazine.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Game changer.

[Andrew Schulz]

Really?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

All right.

[Andrew Schulz]

She goes down on you.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Game changer. All I'm telling you is game changer.

[Andrew Schulz]

Nah, my wife told me I gotta trim up.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Get Rid of the gates, bro.

[Andrew Schulz]

She told me I gotta trim up.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Get rid of the gates. Cause the older you got, older you. Alex, 35. Oh, so you see, wait, in 10 years, that shit's gonna be all over the place. You 41. That's why you getting married. That's why you got that. That's why that shit is starting to go all over the place. You 41 and Scottish.

[Andrew Schulz]

My shit is crazy.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You know what I'm saying? My shit is you 41 in Scottish.

[Andrew Schulz]

My shit look like a bonfire. For real.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

It's man, bad, dude.

[Andrew Schulz]

Like, if I needed to literally make warmth in the woods, I would start with me.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You see what I'm saying?

[Andrew Schulz]

I would just be like this.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That little burning bush Moses. You know what I'm saying? Yes. Yes, man. Do your wife a favor and go get a wax. Listen to me, guys. I'm not going to ever steal your wrong. Have I steal your wrong before?

[Andrew Schulz]

Mm, nah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Did y' all start going to therapy? You went to fucking therapist?

[Andrew Schulz]

That's true, right?

[D]

You was hugging trees for a little bit.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I'm still hugging trees now.

[Andrew Schulz]

You were holding stones.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I still do that now.

[Andrew Schulz]

Now you went through a little phase where you were trying to find yourself.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I'm doing that now. I got the stones right now. When it gets summertime, I'm out there, baby, grounding. What are you talking about? Forehead to the tree. I'm telling y' all, right now. Go.

[Andrew Schulz]

Could you ground on that guy's dick over there?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Two feet, ten toes down, bro? I probably could hook my toes like a hawk to that. That's a log, bro. I'm telling you. I'm telling you, that's a fucking log, bro. Y' all are brilliant.

[Andrew Schulz]

Oh, my God.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I'm telling you, y' all playing games, man. Listen, as always, if you listen to this podcast, you think we're smart, you.

[Andrew Schulz]

Think we're intelligent, you think visual is crazy.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

They're telling you if you listen to this podcast, you think we're smart, you think we're intelligent, you think we're brilliant. You're absolutely right. But if you think we're just a couple idiots who don't know shit, you're right, too. It's the Brilliant Idiots Podcast. Thank you for listening.