Winter Storm Brick

Summary

The Brilliant Idiots – "Winter Storm Brick"

January 23, 2026

Overview

In this lively, wide-ranging episode, Charlamagne Tha God and Andrew Schulz riff on winter storms, mythological animals, aging and masculinity, the NBA’s latest drama, and global geopolitics, blending their signature blend of absurd comedy with surprising insight. The banter bounces between hot takes on pop culture, sports, male vulnerability, and sharp political skepticism—never lingering too long, but always finding something uproarious or thought-provoking to say.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Winter Storm "Fern": Naming Storms and Conspiracies (02:58–07:19)

• Charlamagne marvels at the oddity of winter storms now being given names like hurricanes.
  • “I've never in my life seen a winter storm have a name… It's winter storm Fern.” (03:00, Charlamagne)
• Jokes about Trump controlling the weather to “help” his base in red states through manufactured crises, a riff on conspiracy theories around “HAARP” and weather control.
  • “I really do think this is Harp. I really… think that Donald Trump pushed a button right now. This is the brand new… weather button, Harp.” (05:47, Charlamagne)
  • The guys note how areas unused to cold (Texas, Carolinas) are declaring emergencies, playing on regional stereotypes.

2. Belief in Mythical Creatures: Dragons, Whales, and Unicorns (09:09–19:35)

• Comic disbelief over adults (and Facebook moms) falling for AI-generated dragon videos.
  • “You have too much influence to be this gullible.” (11:16, Andrew Schulz)
• Philosophical detour: Why is believing in dragons or unicorns less plausible than believing in whales or God?
  • “If you can see a whale… why not believe in a dragon?” (12:24, Charlamagne)
  • Debate the nature of belief, childhood awe, and the line between myth and reality.
• Discussion on narwhals (real-life unicorns), shedding horns, and finding antlers in the woods.
  • “Maybe unicorns are just horses who shed their horns forever.” (20:35, Charlamagne)

3. Aging and Masculinity: "Brick" Jokes About Erections (21:48–29:45)

• Extended, hilarious “brick” metaphor about how aging changes one’s physical capabilities—particularly erections.
  • “The way we say, enjoy the moment, enjoy your erection, bro… ” (22:35, Charlamagne)
• Comic regrets over not appreciating youthful virility, turning into musings on “round two” and sexual stamina.
  • “Round two only counts if it’s within the same night…” (22:22, Andrew Schultz)
  • “When you’re young, the brick exists just because. Like, I think about how much I used to masturbate as a kid…” (25:07, Charlamagne)

4. Male Vulnerability: Masturbation Real Talk (29:07–33:44)

• The group candidly discusses the shame and awkwardness around masturbation as men age and build families.
  • “Nothing more pathetic feeling than drying your dick off from lotion when you didn’t even…” (27:39, Andrew Schultz)
  • “I jerk off now just for recreation… like, see if you still got it.” (34:00, Charlamagne)
• They playfully debate the “ranking” of sexual acts, with masturbation always a last resort, and poke fun at techniques, embarrassment, and “silent protest” masturbation during relationship arguments.

5. NBA Deep Dive: Lakers, LeBron, Power, and JJ Redick (40:07–69:13)

• In-depth discussion of a recent ESPN article on Lakers’ dysfunction and LeBron James’s influence. Charlamagne bluntly claims, “The worst thing that’s happened to the Lakers… has been LeBron James.” (40:43)
• Schulz counters that LeBron brings business value and at least one championship, but Charlamagne points to lack of winning and “appeasing” LeBron with drafting Bronny and hiring his podcast cohost JJ Redick as coach.
  • Memorable moment: “You hired LeBron James’s podcast co host as the head coach…” (43:37, Charlamagne)
• Spirited debate over whether JJ Redick deserves more blame, and how much power stars and agents like Rich Paul should have in team decisions.
• Coach legitimacy, coaching experience, and institutional culture differences between teams like the Heat and Lakers are dissected.
  • “Control only works when you win… The decisions you make… when you win and things go right is when the control is fine.” (46:17, Charlamagne)

6. Modern Sports Media & Agents with Podcasts (58:24–69:34)

• Discussion on sports agents (e.g., Rich Paul) hosting podcasts and whether it’s ultimately bad for their clients.
  • “Don't do a podcast if it affects your main thing. I can't see this not affecting his main thing.” (58:24, Charlamagne)
• The danger of public commentary versus necessary backroom negotiations in sports.
• Hilariously, they riff on the “people who should never have podcasts,” with agents, managers, and lawyers as top picks.

7. U.S. Politics and Foreign Policy: Greenland, Trump, and Corruption (77:20–111:44)

• Sharp but comic analysis of Trump’s saber-rattling over Greenland, concerns about America’s global reputation, and the logic (or lack thereof) behind the “threat” to U.S. national security.
  • “If America goes into Greenland, then Chris loses his homeland. Then… there's not even… a moral standard for anything anymore.” (85:38, Charlamagne)
• Tangent into the Epstein files, Clinton and Trump’s relationship with the scandal, and the PR game around congressional hearings.
  • “Everything you do… is either looking like you’re guilty or looking like you’re trying to avoid it.” (84:57, Andrew Schultz)
• Broader take on American and global cynicism towards corruption, with bipartisan exasperation at politicians enriching themselves.
  • “If you see corruption, you can call it out… and that’s okay. And this is corruption like we’ve never seen.” (93:10, Andrew Schultz; 93:14, Charlamagne)
• Recurrent theme: the American middle class’s struggles—groceries, housing costs, out-of-touch policy—and the gap between political rhetoric and lived reality.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the Winter Storm Conspiracies:

  • “Donald Trump changed the weather... That’s right.” (07:32, Andrew Schultz & Charlamagne)

• On Dragons and Whales:

  • “How can you see a whale but not believe in a dragon?” (12:24, Charlamagne)

• On Masturbation and Aging:

  • “Youth, why is it wasted on the young?” (23:01, Andrew Schulz, quoting his dad)
  • “Round two is days later… That's just round one again.” (22:22, Panel)

• On Male Sexuality:

  • “I jerk off now… to see if you still got it. Like box hops.” (34:00, Charlamagne)
  • “There's nothing more pathetic feeling than drying your dick off… when you didn't even…” (27:39, Andrew Schulz)

• On the Lakers’ Dysfunction:

  • “The worst thing that’s happened to the Lakers… has been LeBron James.” (40:43, Charlamagne)
  • “You hired LeBron James's podcast co host as the head coach.” (43:37, Charlamagne)

• On Political/Government Corruption:

  • “We have never seen… levels of corruption. We haven’t seen so… done so publicly.” (92:27, Charlamagne)
  • “I hate how we politicize even corruption. Like, can’t we just be annoyed by it no matter who does it?” (95:00, Andrew Schulz)

• On Global Reputation:

  • “I think our reputation around the world is permanently damaged.” (77:29, Charlamagne)

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Timestamps for Major Segments

• Winter Storm Conspiracies: 02:58–07:19
• Dragons, Whales, and Unicorns: 09:09–20:04
• Erections, Aging, and Masturbation Talk: 21:48–35:34
• NBA: Lakers, LeBron, JJ Redick: 40:07–69:13
• Sports Agents and Podcasts: 58:24–69:34
• Political Satire & Global Issues: 77:20–111:44

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Tone and Language

The tone is irreverent, energetic, and always self-aware—moving fluidly from raunchy punchlines and mock outrage to genuine introspection. Charlamagne and Andrew riff with provocative candor, throwing shade, self-deprecating humor, and cynical skepticism throughout. The camaraderie is palpable, lightening even the heaviest subjects.

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TL;DR

This episode is equal parts outlandish comedy, gym locker-room confessions, NBA gossip, and sharp-edged political analysis. Look elsewhere for structure or restraint—here, the conversation is “idiotic,” “sometimes brilliant,” and always a wild ride.

Transcript

[Andrew Schultz]

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[Charlamagne Tha God]

Hey, Sal.

[Andrew Schultz]

Hank.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

What's going on?

[Andrew Schultz]

We haven't worked a case in years.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I just bought my car at Carvana and it was so easy.

[Andrew Schultz]

Too easy. Think something's up. You tell me.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

They got thousands of options, found a great car at a great price, and it got delivered the next day.

[Andrew Schultz]

It sounds like Carvana just makes it.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Easy to buy your car, tank. Yeah, you're right. Case closed. Buy your car today on Carvana.

[Andrew Schultz]

Delivery fees may apply.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yep. Charlemagne the guy.

[Andrew Schultz]

Andrew Schultz.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

We are the Brilliant Idiots podcast back for another week of brilliant idiotness. Heather. Kyle Walker. How are you?

[Andrew Schultz]

What's up, my man? I'm good, brother. How are you?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I'm blessed, black and highly favored. How was your weekend?

[Andrew Schultz]

What'd you spend some of that money on?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

What money, bro?

[Andrew Schultz]

What was your first big purchase?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I don't know what you're talking about, man.

[Andrew Schultz]

I know what you didn't do.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

What I didn't do. I know you didn't buy no Way Home. I think that we. I think every episode.

[Andrew Schultz]

No.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

All I'm saying is.

[Andrew Schultz]

No, no, no.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

All right, all right.

[Andrew Schultz]

We're back and we're here. We're at the. We're at the show.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That's a Kyle Walker.

[Andrew Schultz]

Hey, Charlamagne the God.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

How you feeling, my brother?

[Andrew Schultz]

I'm good, man. What was that?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

First person.

[Andrew Schultz]

Can we BLEEP off of that?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That was so good. Can we bleep it off? Can we just start off with y'? All? You didn't do B, maybe. Cuz all I want to say right now is.

[Andrew Schultz]

That's how we start off. Brilliant.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That is. That's all I want to say.

[Andrew Schultz]

Use our audience entirely.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

It'll be fun when we reveal it, you know, 10 years, 10 years from.

[Andrew Schultz]

Now, 10 years from now, we're going to drop it, all right?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

We're bracing for a fucking storm, bro. I've never in my life seen a winter storm have a name now. Oh, this shit is. They got a. It's winter storm. Fern. They always give hurricanes names. I've never seen them give a storm a name.

[Andrew Schultz]

You think they're getting us ready for Greenland?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No, you know what I think, man? I think that Donald Trump was like, you know what? The ice we got out there now, it's not enough.

[Chris]

It's not clean.

[Andrew Schultz]

Harp. That's good.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Harp.

[Andrew Schultz]

I thought my joke was pretty good, but that was a better joke.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Like Harp, we needed nothing to describe some real life.

[Andrew Schultz]

Okay, These forgot how bad ice. Ice is.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No ice. Ice is bad. Which ice now?

[Andrew Schultz]

Like the cold.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Oh, snow.

[Chris]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Schultz]

The storm. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

It's really up. I mean, they're both up, to be honest with you. They're both up. Very up. But did you know that I've never seen a winter storm with a name. Yeah, I've never seen this in my life. They're saying like two feet of snow. Parts of Jersey. Even where I'm at in Jersey, a foot of snow, like 200 million people are supposed to be impacted by a hurricane. Fucking Fern.

[Andrew Schultz]

That is interesting that they don't give the winter storms a name.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

My daughter told me.

[Andrew Schultz]

Where do winter storms originate?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Midwest. And my daughter said, in the Midwest. That happens a lot. I didn't know that.

[Andrew Schultz]

And maybe that's why they don't get a name. Hurricanes.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Hurricanes get names.

[Andrew Schultz]

They originate in the foreign countries, so we treat them like migrants, but winter storms originate here. So they're just a storm in this.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

But we don't give migrants names, of course.

[Andrew Schultz]

We.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

We just be like illegal immigrant 1. Illegal immigrant 2. I thought it was undocumented. Undocumented. I don't even know. Is there another word after undocumented?

[Andrew Schultz]

Undocumented. Immigrant.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Undocumented is undocumented. They don't even say immigrant. It'd be like he's undocumented.

[Andrew Schultz]

No, no. I think maybe like the politically correct answer is they don't get names. For sure.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

The politically correct answer is actual. They say illegal immigrants isn't right because people aren't illegal, which I don't that don't make any sense to me.

[Andrew Schultz]

I don't know what's going on.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You could be here illegally.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah, sorry, I derailed your point. You said that the winter storms don't have names.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah, and it's just on its way, bro. I don't know what the fuck is going to happen. I don't know how bad this storm is going to be, but how much.

[Andrew Schultz]

Colder can it be then already freezing cold in these parts of the country. Like these parts of the country are used to freezing cold.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No, this is a different type of cold that we've experienced the last least week. They said this shit. I haven't really felt it. I can't have nothing to compare it to. But they say it was cold in Alaska, in New York. I never been to Alaska, so I don't fucking know.

[Andrew Schultz]

I went to Alaska. Alaska was pretty cold.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

It was really cold.

[Andrew Schultz]

It's pretty cold. Yeah. I mean, look, cold as cold, you get to fucking 7 degrees or 0 degrees, man. I'm just trying to say, like Canada is used to freezing cold all year round. When it's cold in Texas or Florida, different ballgame. But that. Because the people down there aren't used to that. They don't got jackets. Like, it snows and then the highway gets congested.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Can I tell you why I think this is actually, I really do think this is. Harp. I really. I'm going to tell you why I really do think that Donald Trump pushed a button right now. This is the brand new.

[Andrew Schultz]

Push the weather button.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

The weather button, Harp.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Texas, North Carolina, South Carolina. Why are all of these sovereign states getting hit with this type of cold?

[Andrew Schultz]

I thought that. Wait, what makes it more colder when it's red and purple or when it's dark and blue?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I don't. The blue, right? The blue would be the cold.

[Chris]

Blue is light and scenario.

[Andrew Schultz]

The blue is light in this scenario. So yeah, they're not even getting that much cold.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No, Chris, blue is the coldest.

[Andrew Schultz]

No, this is inches, inches, inches of snow.

[Chris]

One.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Oh, yeah.

[Andrew Schultz]

So this is not even really affecting.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Look, it says Texas. North Carolina and South Carolina were the first to issue preemptive emergency declarations. Here's the thing. Because you're from New York City.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah, we're used to it.

[Chris]

So.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Exactly. In South Carolina, North Carolina, Texas. In the South. It's not. Yeah, you go down there with a 1 inch dick. You know what I'm saying? You fucking the shit out of some people because they're not used to snow. They don't have the Snow plows. They don't have the salt, they don't have all of that type of stuff.

[Duvall]

Right.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

It's just like a hurricane up here. Remember Hurricane Sandy came up here? To me, I was like, I care about no tropical storm. A little punk ass category one. We playing those in fucking South Carolina. Yes, 100%. But here it shut everything down.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yep.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Same thing with snow down there. Yep. Now, when have you seen the south at least, especially the south, get hit with something like this ever civil war. I don't know what you're talking about.

[Andrew Schultz]

Okay.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

But I know that this potentially historic.

[Andrew Schultz]

Winter storm, snowing white men down there.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

This potentially historic winter storm is going to hit all these red states. And who's going to come in and be the savior?

[Chris]

Who?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Donald Trump and the federal government.

[Chris]

Wow.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Once again.

[Andrew Schultz]

So he changed the weather. Donald Trump changed the weather and made it inclement in these southern states or these red states.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That's right.

[Andrew Schultz]

So he's punishing his base.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yes. The ICE agents aren't enough of a distraction. I need a bigger one and I can not punish.

[Andrew Schultz]

But the red states are his states already.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No, not punish. Yeah, just dump a bunch of money there like the guy.

[Andrew Schultz]

So you think he needs support in his base? You think his base has reigning support?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

The base is still mad about Epstein. The base is mad about the economy.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yes. Yeah. Here, here, here, here, here. Come on. Everybody's ice shit in Minnesota is cool, but we need more ice.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That is what Donald Trump did. Harp. Y' all forgot about harp? See, I don't even know he forgot about harp. You know what? HARP is, right?

[Duvall]

No.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

They control the weather.

[Andrew Schultz]

Oh, I thought that was.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Donald Trump didn't defund them. That's the one. That's one organization Donald Trump did not defund.

[Andrew Schultz]

Is his harp.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I'm making all this up, by the way. I don't. But Donald Trump did not. I need to put that disclaimer because somebody opposed.

[Andrew Schultz]

Some people think Chris control.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Really?

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah, he might.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

He from China. Yo, Chris, I've been getting some good video from China. I want a dragon, yo. Well, I know you got the hook up on some dragons, bro.

[Chris]

What size?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

They got some big ones. You seen the big joint? Hold on, let me show you the big one. The big one that they had in the. They said it was at a secret Chinese lab. Everything ain't AI, bro. Look at this, man. Hold on. Look at this show.

[Chris]

You talking about the white one.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Come on, bro. Everything's not fucking AI, bro. If that's not AI That's a good ass movie scene. That's a scene. That's shooting a movie or something.

[Andrew Schultz]

That's real.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Come on, man.

[Andrew Schultz]

That's real.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Come on. Yo, Lemon pepper, white dragon wings, slap.

[Andrew Schultz]

You have too much influence to be this gullible.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Look, hold on.

[Duvall]

Yep.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Look at this, look at that. You look at that. This got a fire breathing pet dragon, bro. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Chris, what is this?

[Andrew Schultz]

Come on, Schultz, old people really got no. We gotta take old people off.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

What do you mean? This Everything ain't AI, bro.

[Andrew Schultz]

Imagine what our parents are thinking when they're scrolling Facebook and seeing this shit and they don't really understand what Sora is.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Nothing gives me more fear than when my mom goes, I was on Facebook, I was on YouTube. Why? First of all, why are you on YouTube? You can't watch the View on TV like regular people. Yeah, like what the fuck? So you telling me you don't believe in dragons?

[Andrew Schultz]

I guess. Yeah, I believe in them.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Look at, when you go look at Komodo dragon, right?

[Andrew Schultz]

That's a real dragon.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That's what I'm saying. But when you look at Chinese astrology, right, look at Chinese astrology, every single animal they use in Chinese astrology is a real animal. You're just going to throw a mythical creature in there called the dragon. Dragons existed at some point.

[Andrew Schultz]

Well, dragons are just dinosaurs, right?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That's all I'm saying.

[Andrew Schultz]

Like they, they scooped up the bones just like anybody else around the world. They saw the bones and they organized them. They're like, yo, this should look crazy. Kind of like a dragon.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

And a couple of years ago, I remember the story where they said that somebody, they were, they found some type of egg and they were trying to clone what? Whatever the species of the egg was. Yes, man. Like, I don't know why we act like these things are so out of the realm of possibility. We live in a world where it's fucking whales.

[Duvall]

You're talking about Game of Thrones, fire breathing dragons.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

We live in a world where there's fucking whales.

[Andrew Schultz]

Let us make this point here.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Have you ever seen a whale, bro? Can you imagine the first motherfucker that saw a whale and then tried to explain that shit to people? Nobody believed them either. A whale?

[Andrew Schultz]

Who was the first person to see a whale?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I have no fucking idea who the person.

[Andrew Schultz]

Where do you think they were? What part of the world?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Probably Africa.

[Andrew Schultz]

No, Africa?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No, not Africa. I don't fucking know. Somewhere in the ocean. All I know is, so is that.

[Andrew Schultz]

Why y' all like fat white women.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Man, shut the fuck. Whales are black and white, though. It's like fat, biracial. Fat biracial woman with good credit. Listen. Oh.

[Andrew Schultz]

Jackpot. In this economy.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yo, a woman called the radio station this morning. She said she was 5ft, 200 pounds and she didn't want to give her a real name. Her name was Juicy.

[Andrew Schultz]

She ain't ever tried Juicy Soda.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

And then Emmy was like. She wanted to request a song, and she was like, yeah, just play something from Biggie Smalls. And I was like, so you're a Biggie Smalls fan? So you just called up here and picked your favorite Biggie Smalls record as a nickname.

[Andrew Schultz]

But 5ft, 200 pounds is.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

But seriously, me and Duvall was having this conversation the other day. Cause he always sends me Bigfoot shit because he acts like me believing in Bigfoot is the craziest thing in the world.

[Andrew Schultz]

It is.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Have you ever seen a silverback gorilla?

[Chris]

Yes.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You understand what I'm saying? If this shit is huge, like a motherfucker, why is a primate.

[Andrew Schultz]

The whales thing is interesting to me.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

A thousand pounds, it can jump so gracefully out of the fucking ocean like it's nothing.

[Andrew Schultz]

Thousand. I think they're like a ton.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

A ton. Yeah, you're right.

[Andrew Schultz]

More than that. Like, a blue whale is probably 10,000.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're right. And don't.

[Andrew Schultz]

Whales are crazy.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Don't knock over boats and shit.

[Andrew Schultz]

Like, so kind.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

How can you see a whale but not believe in a dragon?

[Duvall]

Because we see him.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That's your fault for not being able. For only believing in what you see.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah. Why do you. Why do you only believe in what exists? Hey, Al. What are you fucking dumb or something like that?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Now we're getting into the God territory.

[Andrew Schultz]

Reality.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You believe in God, right?

[Duvall]

I believe in a higher power.

[Andrew Schultz]

That's God.

[Duvall]

Yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Have you ever seen God?

[Andrew Schultz]

Yes. See it every single day.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

All this, I think. So when you see a fucking whale or a dragon, how can you believe in something? I believe in whales and I believe in God, and I've seen enough on this planet that makes me go, wow, that shit.

[Chris]

Like, you don't think TV is crazier than a whale? You don't think cameras are crazy?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I mean, no. Hell no.

[Chris]

Crazy. Explain to me how this machine is capturing your image. We have no idea.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That's interesting. I mean, no, I mean, what Chris is saying is interesting.

[Chris]

Just think about, like, throughout the course of human history, if you had tried to explain an iPhone or TV, any of the modern tech people Would call you a witch. Nah.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah, but then if you saw a.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Whale, explaining a whale is different.

[Andrew Schultz]

I mean, like, there are museums that just got a fake whale there, and people just go look at it.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You see what I'm saying? I remember being in Cabo, man. Salute to my good sister Debbie Brown. Being in Cabo, staying with Dev and eating breakfast. You know where she lives at, and she's right by the water. And I remember seeing a whale jump out. That motherfucker. Yo. I was like, yo, that's a fucking whale. And at the time, I had. I might have been 40 at the time, but it's. So imagine seeing that at 40 for the first time. Imagine being the first person to see a whale. Yeah, imagine the first person to see a deer. We don't even gotta go all the way to Wales. A deer, bro. This comes out of the woods, got these horns staring at you with them big, beautiful eyes. Yo, dears, People were so enamored by Diz. They made a movie. Bambi.

[Andrew Schultz]

Oh, Bam.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You know what I'm saying? Like, deers were. People were so enamored by deers that they made a movie about them, bro. Like, y' all are not.

[Chris]

I thought about that.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

What?

[Chris]

Even with my kids, I'm like. A child's first reaction to an animal is always fascinating to me. Right. Because how do they. You know, they've started to process us.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah.

[Chris]

And maybe they have some innate understanding that they're connected to us. But the first time they see a.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Dog, they must be like, you see what I'm saying? Fuck is that? You see what I'm saying?

[Chris]

But they always like it.

[Andrew Schultz]

I wonder, actually. I wonder if it's like a primal instinct. There are certain animals that they're drawn to, and then there's certain animals they might be afraid of.

[Chris]

But kids, you all. Kids always have a reaction to animals.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yes, Agreed. They're fascinated by them. But I think, like, we need to for survival purposes.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

People think unicorns are mythical.

[Andrew Schultz]

Like, for example, my daughter. If you roar. Hold on. I just missed it. I just missed it. I moved on.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Unicorns are mythical.

[Andrew Schultz]

Like, I wanted. I want to devote all my attention to this. But, like, my daughter is afraid of the roar sound, Right? A roar is a sound.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Well, it depends on what context you did it in. Did you do it to scare?

[Andrew Schultz]

I mean, no, it's just like. Do the polar bear. Roar.

[Chris]

Roar. Some sort of premortal response, I think.

[Andrew Schultz]

I think there must be some innate response that, like, that is a dangerous sound. Like when a dog Growls. Kids know that that's kind of a dangerous sound. And when a dog is just kind.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Of like, happy looking on them. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Schultz]

So I think there has to be something built in there also. We got, like, crazy connectivity with dogs. Like, over centuries. No, over, like, what is that called? Millennia.

[Chris]

Yeah, right.

[Andrew Schultz]

Like, I think that, like, we've incorporated them in our lives and they've allowed us to, like, act more independently in the world by protecting us when we slept.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Like, right. Why would you growl at a dog? I did that before. There's a little. One of them little shit. Shoot, shit. When I was a little kid, fucking getting on all fours, barking at the dog, growling at the dog. Scaring this fucking dog all day, bro. This dog backing in the corner, backing in the corner, backing in the corner, man. I turned my back on that dog for one split second, and all I heard, and from the ra, it was me screaming because this motherfucker latched on to right between my back and the top of my ass and was hanging there. I mean, hanging there. And I had that scar for a long motherfucking time because I was growling at the fucking dog.

[Andrew Schultz]

So you were antagonizing.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

So it goes both ways. Like, he felt threatened. I feel threatened. I think even with the growls and shit. It just depends. Because the first time you hear a roar, you're not. You're not scared. You're like, what the is that?

[Andrew Schultz]

No, I. I feel. I feel there's an innate negative response when you hear a roar.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You ever been out of the country and hear some. Like, you hear an animal you ain't used to. You're not scared. You're just like, what the is that?

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah, if you're, like, in Costa Rica or some. You're in the jungle and you hear some random, like, shriek that happened in.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Cape Town, it was like, yo, I'm like, what the is that noise? It was like, oh, probably the baboons. And then that's when they started warning us about the baboons. They're like, yo, make sure your doors are locked. Because the baboons know how to open doors. They were like, you know, if you go out, they'll snatch your hats. Take your.

[Andrew Schultz]

Have you seen the baboons that trade?

[Chris]

No.

[Andrew Schultz]

They'll take your phone. Oh, there's great videos of this. So they'll take their. I think people are doing in, I don't know, like, Thailand or something. Someplace. I forget exactly where. But they'll take your phone and they won't give it back to you unless you trade them food.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Oh.

[Andrew Schultz]

And they'll know the quantity of food that a phone is worth. So you try to give them, like, one orange, they're like, no. And then you give them two oranges, like, all right, fine.

[Duvall]

That works.

[Andrew Schultz]

That's some sophisticated shit.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

What about, like, why would you want an apple? It's an app. Especially if they took an iPhone. I'm just saying.

[Andrew Schultz]

An apple for an apple.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

IPhone 17 worth, bro. Okay? And then everybody, like, with the.

[Andrew Schultz]

This is it.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Oh, this is it.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah. Them baboons ain't no joke. I've seen. I saw baboons.

[Andrew Schultz]

They call this, like, the monkey palace or something like that.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I didn't see none in Cape Town. I saw baboons in. Where Was I? When I saw Grenada, I saw baboons.

[Chris]

I don't think they have baboons in Grenada.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

It was some type of monkeys. Yeah, I thought it was a baboon.

[Andrew Schultz]

Maybe I'm tripping.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

It was definitely some type of monkey.

[Andrew Schultz]

So what is a baboon? Is this, like, the kind of dog version of a monkey? Is that the idea?

[Chris]

I think these are called, like, Remus monkeys, maybe.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

So let me ask you a question. If imagine the first person that saw a bunch of them, like, y' all saw a bunch of old fucking albino men, you know, I mean, small as shit and they had fur. Like, imagine trying to explain a pack of baboons.

[Andrew Schultz]

But imagine the first person that evolved from them. Like, imagine you're the first one in the family that's not full monkey, right?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Damn.

[Andrew Schultz]

You gotta look at your uncles and aunts now.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

We've seen that before. We've seen that before. That's like the person who, like, converts to Islam or converts to Christianity. No, for real, man. That's the kid that went to college and got an education. First person in the kid. The first person to go to college in the family. Now he better than everybody. Nah, we've seen that before. That's exactly what it is. That's exactly what it is.

[Andrew Schultz]

You think that's how they would have treated them?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

The baboon that evolved to a human is exactly like the first person in the family to go to college. First person to get some real money. You know what I'm saying?

[Andrew Schultz]

They got regular feet, and they're like, yo, you still peeling that banana with your feet?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You know what I'm saying?

[Andrew Schultz]

Your hands.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That's all that is. But even with the unicorn, how can you not believe in unicorns? It's just a horse with a horn. We See mad horned animals out here right now, bro.

[Andrew Schultz]

A narwhal.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

A narwhal got a horn enough all the time for that? No, I'm not falling for that.

[Andrew Schultz]

There's a real. It's like a dolphin with a horn.

[Chris]

Sure.

[Andrew Schultz]

So whale, can you bring it up?

[Duvall]

That's a real thing?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah. Oh, okay. Oh, I didn't know. I've seen that before. That's in the ocean.

[Andrew Schultz]

That's in the ocean.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That's a marlin, bro. That's not a marlin.

[Andrew Schultz]

That's not a marlin. That's a narwhal.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

So if, if that got a horn, why wouldn't. Why are the unicorns so far fetched?

[Duvall]

Because there's pictures of this thing and there's no actual pictures of unicorn.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I got a video of unicorn on my phone right now. Okay, hold on. What the y' all talking about?

[Duvall]

Thing could be real if all you need.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yo, I think there's been unicorns, bro.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Every. Yes. Why wouldn't it be? I think there's been you.

[Andrew Schultz]

I think there's been a horse with a weird growth. Why not? There's humans with weird growths, bro.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

None of this is so. None of this is far fetched. And look at that, man. Like, why wouldn't. It's just a fucking horn. It's just a horse with a horn.

[Andrew Schultz]

It's a hairy rhinoceros.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

And we see animals go in the woods right now and they'll shake their antlers off. Deers lose their fucking antlers. Mooses lose their motherfucking antlers. Maybe unicorns are just horses who shed their horns forever.

[Andrew Schultz]

How long does it take the deer to lose their antlers? You're saying they grow them all back seasonally? There's no way. There's no way.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I don't know if it's seasonal, but they do grow. They grow their horns back. If you ever grew up in the country, you walk through the woods, Shit, I do that now in Jersey. I fucking found antlers in my woods in Jersey.

[Andrew Schultz]

They do shed them though.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah. Deer lose their antler annually every late winter after the trending season, triggered by drop in testosterone allowing. Oh, I didn't know they regrow that fast.

[Andrew Schultz]

Got it. So yeah, I think the deer antler is the fastest growing substance on the planet or something like that. Or the fastest growing substance on a mammal. Like they've tried to use the, the, the components or whatever the chemical compound that's in a deer horn for like human stuff that they're trying to grow. What's it called the.

[Chris]

Oh, stuff with the C. I know what you're talking about.

[Andrew Schultz]

Right, like coming. I don't.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Is it anything. Is it anything like men? Like, like, like after a certain age, do the horns stop growing faster? I mean, stop growing as fast.

[Andrew Schultz]

Why? What's happening to you?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You know, I'm just saying after a certain age, you know, you, you.

[Andrew Schultz]

Do you think that your erections are as sturdy as they were when you were younger?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

The first one.

[Andrew Schultz]

What do you mean?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You know, so that's a great question and I'm gonna tell you something.

[Andrew Schultz]

Can we just pause for a second?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No, no, I mean the first.

[Andrew Schultz]

What do you mean, the first one?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

He means the first erection, like after you nut that first time. Like the second time, once you get back up.

[Andrew Schultz]

Are you still doing that at your age?

[Chris]

Four children.

[Andrew Schultz]

Okay, yeah, no, I mean, I was about to walk off the podcast.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I mean, I'm talking about days later.

[Andrew Schultz]

Round two at 45, four children at the house.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No, no, no, that don't happen.

[Chris]

It.

[Duvall]

Round two is days later.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah, that's just round one again. Yeah, yeah. Round two only counts if it's within the same night.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Absolutely. No, no, I haven't done that in years. Nobody. She. Once a woman gets to a certain age, they don't want that.

[Andrew Schultz]

They don't want that. Ah, nobody wants it.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. I will say this, though, what you said is so interesting. And this is why if I had to give one piece of advice to young people, right, we were just having a. A straight man to young man conversation, bro. The way we say, enjoy the moment, enjoy your erection, bro, it's like you.

[Andrew Schultz]

You don't know what you don't have.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You don't know what you're not. Cause when you ask me that question, I don't remember because I don't know. I don't know. What if I didn't appreciate the erection back then?

[Andrew Schultz]

My dad used to say, and this is a quote, I'm sure that predates him. But youth, why is it wasted on the young?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yes.

[Andrew Schultz]

And you don't understand what that is like. Yeah, man, you're older.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You just out here, 20 something years old, brick the fuck up, you know what I mean? For no reason. Brick the fuck up. Waking up with wood and like, you're not looking down, realizing how hard that is, because that just seemed normal. And then when you get 40 plus, you like, damn, with a brick, where the brick, it's still a brick. You know what I mean?

[Andrew Schultz]

But I don't Know if it's a brick? Oh man, I really don't know. It's like a yoga mat rolled up.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No, no, no, no, no. It ain't that rolled up.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yoga mat.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I still got brick.

[Andrew Schultz]

I ain't got no fucking brick.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Still got brick.

[Andrew Schultz]

Definitely not.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I can't lay multiple bricks, but that first brick is a brick.

[Andrew Schultz]

How much boya yoing do you have on it? Like if you flipped it down, how much boyo yoing?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

It takes a while to get to the boyo yoin. Put it like this, you got boyo.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yoing or if you pushed it down, it would just stay there. Well, will it flip at pit him and stomach naturally.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I haven't done. See, here's the thing. When you're young, you do those things when you're young, you know, you do this for no reason.

[Andrew Schultz]

All right, here's the question.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Flex it. You know what I mean? When you get older, you don't do that no more.

[Andrew Schultz]

What's seasonal jacket? Could you hang on it?

[Chris]

Oh.

[Andrew Schultz]

I know you're not hanging a woolrich. I know that for sure.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah, M. Clay ain't gonna do it, bro. A windbreaker, maybe a windbreaker. We got windbreaker. You can get the wind tech.

[Andrew Schultz]

We got Nike tech.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Oh, not the windbreaker, bro.

[Andrew Schultz]

But you're not putting a thick ass averex on it.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Now I gotta try. Now I gotta try.

[Andrew Schultz]

But the fact that you're unsure, I don't know.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I wouldn't, I wouldn't bet on that.

[Andrew Schultz]

20 year old Sharla fresh out of jail.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

But see, that's my point. I don't remember. And I'm sure I'm almost guaranteed there was more brick back then. Yes, but I didn't think about it. I didn't enjoy it. You know what I mean?

[Andrew Schultz]

I didn't appreciate it.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You know what I mean? Like appreciate the brick, bro. You do not appreciate.

[Andrew Schultz]

How do we tell them to appreciate when they don't know what's going to happen? That's the thing. It's. You can't even compare it. So there's no way you could appreciate. It's like appreciating the peak of your athleticism. You'll never know the peak.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I will say this though. Let me, let me take a step back. When it comes to the brick, the brick exists. When it's time for it to exist, it don't exist just because when you young. The brick exists just because. Like I think about how much I used to masturbate as a kid. Yeah, you know what? I mean, and then you get older, the masturbation slows down a little bit because you just don't want to waste it. You don't want to waste that erection. You know what I mean? Back then, you just, like, wasted.

[Andrew Schultz]

I don't know if I waste it. All right, so here's the question. When you're jerking off, do you still jerk off?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah, when I. When I can. When I feel like it.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah. Okay.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Few and far between back in the day, though. All right.

[Andrew Schultz]

Have you nutted? Have you nutted, like, kind of like 60% hard?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah, but that's so whack, yo. But I hate fighting myself, yo.

[Andrew Schultz]

But isn't that the funniest one? Cause you're like 60% hard, and it's almost like your body's like, man, don't make me do the whole push up, you know? Like, what are you making me? Like, hey, we can get this shit out and get on with our day, or I can really find the blood in your body necessary to get to this bitch.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You know what, though? The 60% makes you think too much, bro. Cause it's like, man, am I supposed to be doing shit?

[Andrew Schultz]

Yo, I'm grown. I'm a grown ass fucking. You gotta squeeze your eyes extra hard to think of shit to be able to jerk off. Eyes wide open, staring at a wall.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Why am I doing it? I got a family. Why am I doing this? Yeah, why are you doing this when you got a family?

[Andrew Schultz]

You ever given up at like, 35% harder? Yes, bro, 35% hard today. We don't got it today, man.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yes, man. Yes, man. Yes. Sometimes you hear your kid crying in.

[Andrew Schultz]

The other room, like, man, we ain't gonna get there. We ain't gonna get there.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Then sometimes you ask your significant other questions like, yo, you still play with yourself, you know what I mean? Just to make sure you ain't the only fucking idiot in the house.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah, but we are.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

We are. You know what I mean?

[Andrew Schultz]

Cause they're taking care of a whole family, you know what I mean?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

A family that I'm thinking about when I'm jerking off.

[Andrew Schultz]

Whoa.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Not in that way. I just told you. I just told you.

[Andrew Schultz]

You're distracted.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah, I'm distracted. Cause I'm like, why am I doing this? I got a fucking family.

[Andrew Schultz]

I got a family. Exactly. I'm glad we climbed.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Now you feel bad cause you wasted fucking lotion.

[Andrew Schultz]

You know what I mean?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Like, this is just stupid.

[Andrew Schultz]

No, it's bad.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

It's.

[Andrew Schultz]

There is nothing more pathetic feeling than drying Your dick off from lotion when you didn't even.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Lord have mercy.

[Andrew Schultz]

You know what I mean? Like, you gotta. You're with a washcloth, like, wiping, talking to yourself.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Like, bro, you don't even do it like you used to. You used to put it down.

[Andrew Schultz]

You gotta try to left it. You know, maybe I got some more of this. You felt this one in a while.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Or you don't even turn yourself on no more. Like, what the fuck is your problem? I'm going tell you the stupidest. This is the stupidest shit.

[Andrew Schultz]

Go.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Cuz, when you get older and you have a family, right, even if you're home by yourself, you just don't feel comfortable masturbating the way you used to when you was a bachelor. You whip it out, be sitting on the edge of your bed, let it rip on the car. All types of shit, right? So now you go in the bathroom. I have a bidet, and it's an automatic bidet. So I'm on the toilet. The bidet is trying to lift up, but I'm sitting on it too much. What? Makes you feel stupid too.

[Andrew Schultz]

You have the bidet functioning while you're jerking off.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

It don't turn off.

[Andrew Schultz]

Would you say that turn on binder?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No, I got an automatic bidet, bro. As soon as I walk in the bathroom, it lifts up.

[Andrew Schultz]

What do you mean lifts up?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I don't know what to tell y'. All. Y', all.

[Andrew Schultz]

We don't try that. Don't try to pour us out of you being gay. Don't try to. You dare throw that on us. You a jerk.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I have the automatic bidet. As soon as you walk in, the bidet starts bubbling. No, it lifts up. The seat. The COVID seat.

[Andrew Schultz]

How do you poop into the toilet?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

What do you mean?

[Andrew Schultz]

How do you take a poop into the toilet if the bidet is shooting water in your ass?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No, man, you pooping through the water. No, no, no, no, no, no. The bidet, soon as you walk in, the bidet lifts up by itself. The COVID and the seat is there. So then you sit down on the seat and do your business. What I'm talking about is when the COVID is down. You're talking about the COVID and the seat.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

So the seat is down and the COVID is down. So as I'm sitting on the COVID the COVID keeps trying to lift up because it feels so.

[Andrew Schultz]

Wait, you sit on top of your. Your soiled seat. You don't. You know? Yeah, that is peculiar. You're saying you sit on top of that. To jerk off, you don't open up the. Why would I cover for the toilet?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I sit like I'm taking a.

[Andrew Schultz]

Because then that's how you do it. Done.

[Duvall]

You could just go straight in the toilet.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Y' all jerk off in the toilet?

[Andrew Schultz]

No, but, like, if. Yeah, sometimes I wouldn't sit on that seat.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Me neither.

[Andrew Schultz]

No, I wouldn't sit on this.

[Duvall]

No.

[Chris]

Also, doesn't it, like.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That's what I just explained to you. That's what I was just showing y'. All. That's exactly what I was showing you. So I'm sitting on it, trying to jerk off, and it keeps doing the hydraulics, but just sit on it.

[Andrew Schultz]

Just sit on the swim it's made to sit on.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That feels weird.

[Chris]

I'm a garment for you to sit on.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schultz]

That's way more comfortable.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah, but not to jerk off. Your penis goes inside of, like, you. Wouldn't that be kind of a weird angle?

[Andrew Schultz]

No.

[Duvall]

Your dick points down.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I'mma try. When I get some free time and some free blood. When I get some free time and some free blood flow, I'mma try it.

[Andrew Schultz]

I'm, like, baffled at the way that you jerk off.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

What's your technique?

[Andrew Schultz]

No, I mean, just like, the idea that you would sit on top of the seat is just so odd.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I can't be the only one. I think you might be the only one. I can't. I can't be the only one.

[Andrew Schultz]

In your own house. It's so much more comfortable.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I just feel like that would be weird.

[Andrew Schultz]

No, you're gonna enjoy this so much more.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah, but do you let your balls go into the toilet?

[Andrew Schultz]

Do you let your balls just sit on top of the toilet?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No, but I'm on the. I'm on the edge of the joint.

[Andrew Schultz]

You're working too hard. You're working way too hard. You are working way too hard.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Hold on. You were telling me that y' all jerk. Oh, I see what y' all say. You sit on the edge of the seat.

[Andrew Schultz]

How do you just sit on a seat?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Regular, like, you taking a.

[Andrew Schultz]

Can I ask you a serious question?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yes.

[Andrew Schultz]

When you poop, do you first just into your hand and then you throw it into the toilet? Do you know how to use a toilet?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Do you know the purpose of the toilet? Balls inside of it. Dick inside of it, bro. It's there for a reason. I can't imagine.

[Andrew Schultz]

So you just take. You take your dick out? Yeah. And then you do the exact same thing as you're pooping, but instead of pooping you jerk off. Try that, it's gonna change your fucking life.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah, all right.

[Duvall]

I am.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That's wild. What if you take. What if you accidentally shit just because your body is, like, in the habit of it?

[Andrew Schultz]

Are you saying, like, when you come, your butthole opens?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That would be crazy. That would be wild, bro. That would be wild. That's like. Bro, that would be wild. That's like getting a. That's like getting your G spot touched.

[Andrew Schultz]

What?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Nevermind. Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys. Can we talk about the Los Angeles Lakers? Yo, man, I wish you read that article.

[Andrew Schultz]

I wish I had that much money where I could just admit this gay shit on a podcast, bro. What was it? I wish I had masturbation.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Masturbating technically, is gay, though.

[Andrew Schultz]

You know what? I think that we should have that discussion.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

It is.

[Andrew Schultz]

I think we should have that discussion. We cannot sit here and say that we don't enjoy playing with dick. None of us can sit here and enjoy.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You don't enjoy a man's hand on your penis.

[Andrew Schultz]

You enjoy a man's hand on your dick. You do.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Word up.

[Andrew Schultz]

You enjoy.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

And.

[Andrew Schultz]

And. And if we're really going to talk that shit, you would prefer a man's hand on your dick than a woman's hand on your.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No, I'm not. No, I'm not going to go that far.

[Andrew Schultz]

You think your wife jerks you off better than you?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No, but.

[Andrew Schultz]

So who jerks you off the best?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Me, But I. We only jerk off. We jerk off because our. Our women aren't around.

[Andrew Schultz]

Will you jerk off before you had a woman that.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Because I didn't have a woman.

[Andrew Schultz]

Your woman's all the way around, so.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Your hand is always. Your hand becomes a clear number two, bro. Like, your hand is like.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Your hand is. Even though you want your hand to be number one, it's clearly number two, bro. Like. Like when you think about the big three, that is.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Masturbation, blow jobs, and vagina. Yeah, it's a clear number three, bro.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yes, A clear number three. Number three in terms of enjoyment and all that stuff. Yes, I get it 100%.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

But it's only number one when the other two aren't available.

[Andrew Schultz]

I mean, sometimes it's. You just want the variability. Sometimes you want to change it up a little bit. You can't have pasta every night of the week.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Nah, I'm taking the number one every single day. If I'm doing the number three, it's a last resort. I remember the first time I masturbated I cried.

[Andrew Schultz]

You're telling. Oh, my God. Hold on one second. Hold on one second. Hold on one second. Hold on one second. You're telling me there's. Every time before you jerk off, you try to have sex with your wife and then she rejects you and then you go jerk off?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No, no, no, no. I'm just saying that if I. If my wife is there and we about to have sex. Jerking off.

[Andrew Schultz]

Not even a. Yeah, obviously.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

And I'm never like, I'm. I'm never. That you do that sometime when you just, like, it's like a. A silent protest. You know what I mean? Like, you, like, you know what I'm saying? Like. Like. Like, you know, me and my wife been together 28 years, so if we having a little beef or something. And you know, like, nigga, you ain't getting no. Now you like, all right, I'll show you. She don't give a fuck. You the one in there jerking off like a fucking loser. Put your dick.

[Andrew Schultz]

That won't even get fully hard.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Well, this was when it used to.

[Andrew Schultz]

Oh, and now there's no more silent protest.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I haven't had to do a silent protest in a long time.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yo, have you ever jerk.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I jerk off now, just for recreation. I jerk off now for the same reason I do box hops.

[Andrew Schultz]

What's a box hop?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Box hops, when you, you know, you working out in the gym and you do the box hop and you, you know, you jump to see how high you can jump, and you gotta try to land softly and silently. You just do it to see if you still got it.

[Duvall]

There's a. Box jumps.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Box hops. Box jumps.

[Andrew Schultz]

But yeah, yeah, I hear you on that. I mean, sometimes you do it just to, like, clear your mind, get it out of the way.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That too. You know that too. Or sometimes you do it as a prerequisite. You know what I'm saying? A prerequisite.

[Andrew Schultz]

You know what? Like before sex.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Because later on.

[Andrew Schultz]

Oh, I'm not doing that. I would never roll those dice.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No, no, I do.

[Andrew Schultz]

If I jerk off, we're not.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No, no. Hours later. I have a. I have a theory, right? As long as you can do it within a certain time frame. Like, let's just say, you know, y' all going out to eat, right? Like, you're out of town, you're going out to eat, right? It's nine o', clock, you in the shower, you get one out real quick because, you know you'll be back in a few hours and it might be time for action.

[Andrew Schultz]

Are we having dessert at dinner? Mm, probably not. My wife and I have a rule. If we eat dessert, we're not fucking.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Really?

[Andrew Schultz]

Is dessert or fucking?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

What's the science behind that?

[Andrew Schultz]

I don't know. Something about eating dessert when we get home, I'm going to sleep.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You're going to sleep, right?

[Andrew Schultz]

Immediately going to sleep. But if I don't eat dessert, then I might have a little more energy.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Are you at that point where you do naps?

[Andrew Schultz]

Do we do naps?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No, no, no. No naps. Before sex?

[Andrew Schultz]

Before sex, yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Meaning, like, if you get home, like, might get home like midnight. You know what I'm saying? You lay in bed for a little while, you know, y' all supposed to get it in, but then you wake up and it's 2:30 and you're like, oh, okay, I'm refreshed now.

[Andrew Schultz]

I had to tell you this. One time my wife woke me up. She goes. She goes, I'm dead asleep. She goes, hey, help me go back to sleep.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Oh, I love that.

[Andrew Schultz]

I thought she legit wanted me to help her go back to sleep. I didn't realize she was trying to flirt. And I'm looking at her like, is this woman insane? Like, how dare you wake me out of my slumber to help you get into a slumber. This is crazy. Literally. I thought that shit for, like, two weeks, man.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That's funny as shit.

[Andrew Schultz]

I brought it up to her in an argument. Like she was complaining about some shit that I was. You never put away your clothes. I was like, you wake me up to put you back. She was like, I was trying to get some dick.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Now you're sitting there looking dumb.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah. I was like, why don't you just say you wanted some dick?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Now you're sitting there looking stupid as shit. Like a man in the bathroom who can't even make himself nut.

[Andrew Schultz]

Ain't nothing worse, bro.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Those are some great words. I love those. It's harder for a woman, though, when a man says that. Women know what time they help me sleep. You know what I mean? When a woman says that, it's just.

[Andrew Schultz]

Like, I thought you had a nightmare.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You know, I didn't know that.

[Andrew Schultz]

You know what?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You wanted to sleep. Like, I know what your head gonna do, Mike. Makes you slee know I had melatonin in his mouth. If I knew that, I'd have gave it to you more often. I had no idea.

[Andrew Schultz]

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[Charlamagne Tha God]

The Lakers are a mess, bro.

[Andrew Schultz]

What's happened with the lake show?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I don't know if y' all read that article, that segue that they put in that they put out I don't know who released this. What outlet?

[Andrew Schultz]

Oh, Jeannie buss.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

It was ESPN.

[Andrew Schultz]

I saw a headline, but she said that. That LeBron wasn't grateful enough that they drafted Bronnie. Was that the.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Listen, I don't know if LeBron. Yeah, he did say something like that. But I. I've had this theory for a while. I've said it in numerous group chats with different sports people. The worst thing that has happened to the Lakers over the last seven, eight years has been LeBron James.

[Andrew Schultz]

Wow. Okay, wow. Let's have this discussion. I vehemently disagree.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Let's talk about it.

[Andrew Schultz]

Well, it depends what you mean by worse.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Definitely in the last couple of years. Yes. He bought them a championship right in the bubble. Great. I'm sure. I don't think the Lakers have ever had a problem putting butts in the stand. Right. It's the fucking Los Angeles Lakers. They've never had a problem selling merch. It's the motherfucking Los Angeles Lakers. But in the last couple of years, let's think about the things that have happened. LeBron James got Bronny James drafted. Right. Which is great. It's a great story as a father and everything else, but when you talking about basketball business, it's not good for. It wasn't good for the business of basketball, especially for the Lakers organization. Right. That's number one.

[Andrew Schultz]

How can we confirm that if we're talking about basketball business?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

He hasn't produced basketball. You gotta. If I do a draft pick right, that person has to produce on the court. If Bronny James was any other player and not LeBron James, son, you would be saying that was a bust by.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah, yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Well, bust is not bust because it was a second round pick.

[Andrew Schultz]

Second round pick.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah. But it didn't stand out to be anything.

[Andrew Schultz]

So this is where we got to define the terms. When I hear you say business, I mean like financial reward. I'm hearing financial reward. There's also like the business of winning games.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That's what I'm talking about.

[Andrew Schultz]

Okay. Because those are different. Because the argument I would make for LeBron James.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Financial reward, probably, yes.

[Andrew Schultz]

Like when you bring him to Cleveland, for example, like he was generating billions of dollars, literally. I'm not making that up of revenue for this city of Cleveland. Now you make a good point where the Lakers are going to sell out every single night no matter what. But they're.

[Duvall]

Well, LeBron, you can sell those tickets.

[Andrew Schultz]

A little bit with. Exactly. With LeBron, you're not only going to sell them A little bit more. LeBron brings other talent there. That is like a Luka.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

They haven't won though.

[Andrew Schultz]

That's why there's two things going on. I think the people who own the team, right, they're not buying the team just because they want to win championships. We agree with that. Right? Like they also want to make money. That this is like a profitable endeavor and having LeBron on the team and keeping LeBron happy is worth it. Because you could only, and I'm putting only in quotes, you can only pay LeBron 40 million a year, whatever the fucking salary cap is. But he's generating your team a disproportionate amount of money compared to the amount that you're paying him. Like, is he without Laker but without a debt? No, no, no. You could tell the tickets for more. Obviously, I don't know how much they're doing merch sales. Keep in mind, whenever he plays another team, those tickets are crazy expensive. So he's making the league so much money. These top tier players in the league, especially like a guy like LeBron or a guy like Steph, they're generating so much more money than they're paid by winning.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

And then look what she said. And team sources told ESPN she even begun to turn against the lakers star player LeBron James. Jeannie privately grumbled, people close to the team say about what she felt was James outsized ego in the overt control that he and Clutch Sports, which represents.

[Andrew Schultz]

Both James and Anthony, they do have.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That exerted over the organization at times. She didn't like that James was considered a savior for a floundering franchise when he arrived in 2018 and that it was he who chose the Lakers rather than the team's leadership receiving praise for landing him. Team sources have been adamant for years that James camp informed the Lakers as early as 2017 that he was coming to join them when he became a free agent the following year. The distance between Jenny and James widened after the Lakers traded for Russell Westbrook in July 2021. People close to the team said the team had made the trade in an effort to appease James. But the acquisition backfired in catastrophic fashion. Louisiana went 33:49 and missed the playoffs. And James seemed to wash his hands of his role in the trade. Now this is what I mean, appeasing, right? You drafted Bronny to appease LeBron. One thing that never gets talked about and I don't understand why you hired LeBron James, podcast co host, as the head coach of your organization. A person who has Never had any coaching experience ever to appease him as well. And he's not a good coach. But for whatever reason, J.J. redick, ducks all smoke. Why does J.J. redick not get smoke for not being a good coach?

[Andrew Schultz]

How do we know that he's not a good coach?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Cause they don't win, that's why.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah, but I think winning is a combination. And I'm not just saying this because I like Jayda, but, like, I think winning is a combination of being a good coach and having the right team.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

He had LeBron, he had Anthony Davis. Now he's got LeBron, he's got Luka, he's got Austin Reeves. Like, what are we talking about here? This guy's got plenty of.

[Andrew Schultz]

So you think LeBron, Luka, Austin Reeves is enough to win in the NBA right now?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I don't even have JJ Red. Have they made the playoffs? They made the playoffs once under JJ Reddick, Right? Or maybe not. I don't even know. Have they? No, I don't have they? I don't think they did. How long JJ Been there?

[Andrew Schultz]

Two years.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah.

[Chris]

Last year was his first year.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

And they didn't make the playoffs last year.

[Duvall]

Oh, they did the. What was the last time? The playing.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

The play. Let me make sure about that.

[Duvall]

And they lost.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Let's see.

[Andrew Schultz]

I guess what I'm trying to say here is, like, the expectation when LeBron is on your team is that you're going to win the championship or at least go every single year. And then when you don't live up to that championship, there is frustration.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

But I think.

[Andrew Schultz]

What. And again, I don't know what Genie is talking about. Whatever. Also, like, you sold the team, so, like, why are you talking at all?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Oh, I'm sorry. His first as a head coach. They went 50 and 32, earned the number three seed in the Western Conference. They were eliminated in the first round by the Minnesota Timberwolves. So he made the playoffs. That was last year. And then I think 24, 25. No, was it last year? And then two years ago?

[Andrew Schultz]

So it's like. So this is two years ago. Right. But I think what's. Okay, so what's important about this is that it seems like she's frustrated with LeBron's control. And that's a different discussion.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Control only works when you win. When the decisions you make. Okay, you want to bring in JJ As a coach, you want to hire Bronnie, you want to bring in Russell Westbrook. When you win and things go right. Is when the control is fine.

[Andrew Schultz]

I Agree. I agree with you. Now, that's not all situations. LeBron was with the Miami Heat. They were a winning team and who had control. And his Pat fucking Ryan. Well, the reason why he left is because Pat wasn't giving him the control that he desperately wanted. The organization, the culture, is bigger than any star over there in Miami. And it's probably why they don't really get the big, big stars, right? Or the stars that do go over there. I. E. For a little while, it was Jimmy, but then things start to dissolve over there. But Pat is in control, and he's the one that dictate what's happened. And then LeBron is very different. LeBron is like, Listen, when we travel, this is things that I've heard. It's like my family travels on the plane with the team, and I have my own special vans and they can get access to the whatever, and my family can go wherever they want.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That's not unusual for a star player.

[Andrew Schultz]

Well, that depends on the culture of the team. With la, they gave him the keys, obviously, and that's something he wanted. I imagine Cleveland, that's something he wanted. I don't think he was getting that when he was in Miami, and I think that there was some frustration about that. And it seems like Jeannie's frustrated that she gave him the keys and then they only got one championship out of it. I think most teams, and I say this as a Knick fan, would be more than happy to hand over the keys and pay whatever the fuck amount of money that you have to pay to get one championship in 10 years. We wouldn't give a fuck. We would pay any amount of money.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah, but we could do any amount.

[Andrew Schultz]

Of buses, any amount of family on the plane. Most teams are Knicks.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No, no, no, no, no.

[Andrew Schultz]

Most teams are not winning championships.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No, you're right. You're absolutely right. Most teams are Knicks. Most teams aren't Lakers or Celtics.

[Andrew Schultz]

That's fair.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You know what I'm saying? Lakers and Celtics have an expectation every year to win a goddamn championship.

[Andrew Schultz]

So what I would say is, you spoil.

[Duvall]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schultz]

And be grateful for what you had. Be grateful. The fact that the fans are. The stands are packed and people are paying exorbitant prices for ticket. Ticket prices are so fucking absurd. It's unbelievable. Ticket prices for everything. You want to go to the World cup games. 2000 bucks to go to see a fucking World cup game. I mean, Knicks ticket prices are insane.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yo. Since LeBron signed with the Lakers in 2018, 2019, he's reached the playoffs four times. 2019, 20. NBA champions. 2020, 21, first round exit. 22, 23. Conference finals. 23, 24, first round exit. 24, 25, first round exit. I didn't even know they made the play. I thought they were playing in the fucking tournaments those times. Do you consider that successful?

[Andrew Schultz]

I mean, you won a championship. Yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

It'S the lowest level of success for a. For a Laker, it's the lowest level of success.

[Andrew Schultz]

But you won a championship.

[Chris]

More championship than the Sixers have in the last 10 years.

[Andrew Schultz]

That's the thing.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

It's like six of the Knicks, y' all don't count. We talking about Lakers. When you go to LeBron, like, when you go. When you're LeBron James and you go to the Lakers, think about the legacies, bro. I get Kareem Abdul Jabbar, Shaquille o', Neal, Kobe Bryant, Magic Johnson.

[Chris]

Continue the narrative that supreme players play for the Lakers, right?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah.

[Chris]

So even if this didn't totally pan out to the degree they would have wanted, it continues the narrative that, hey, the Lakers are the destination.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Most big fish that the Lakers acquire. Right? Keyword acquire. So, like the Kareem Abdul Jabbars, the Shaquille Odiles. Well, Magic was drafted as a rookie, so I. Him and Kobe are a little different. But most big fish that they acquire go to LA and win at least two, bro. And you only got Shaq and Kareem to base it off. Right.

[Chris]

It's really more about Luka at this point.

[Andrew Schultz]

That's the thing. If Luka doesn't deliver a championship, I think they'll look at that as a big bust.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Well, so that's two in a row.

[Chris]

Right.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Even though LeBron did get a chip, but it's still like we bringing in these big names, these super all star caliber players, and they're not translating.

[Andrew Schultz]

If you come in and you win a championship, whatever happens next I think is kind of fine. Dude, it's so hard to win in this league.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Not when you're a Laker, bro. And why doesn't J.J. reddick get more smoke?

[Andrew Schultz]

Because he's only been coaching two years.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

He's a DEI hire.

[Andrew Schultz]

Ooh, make that argument.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

He didn't earn it. Nope. No. No experience.

[Andrew Schultz]

But none of these coaches.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Prior experience.

[Andrew Schultz]

None of these coaches that win have prior coaching experience.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yes, they do. They be having college. At least played in college.

[Andrew Schultz]

Look up the last, like, five coaches to have won NBA championships.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

They were assistants somewhere.

[Andrew Schultz]

Just. Let's just look them up.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

They had to be assistants.

[Andrew Schultz]

I Think they're all like first time NBA coaches.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

We're still talking about assistants though. He never coached anywhere.

[Andrew Schultz]

Why'd you say last black. Just look at the last.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yo, no, that's fucked up. That shit. No, no, no, no, no. I want you to stay with something. Take that off real quick. It says the last black coach to win was a dude from the Celtics. But he got a picture of Bill Russell. That's up.

[Andrew Schultz]

They don't say that.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yes, it does. Look, Joe. Ma. Was it Maz?

[Andrew Schultz]

Joe Moula Missoula.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

But he got a picture of Bill Russell.

[Andrew Schultz]

Right?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That's up.

[Andrew Schultz]

Go, go, go. Last five coaches win MMA championships.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Joe was assistant with the Celtics. But Michael Malone was an assistant.

[Andrew Schultz]

Joe was not an assistant with the Celtics.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yes, he was.

[Andrew Schultz]

I thought he came straight from Yukon.

[Chris]

No, when what's his face got ran out, they promoted.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah, okay.

[Duvall]

Oh, what about Kurt?

[Andrew Schultz]

Steve Kerr was the first time coach.

[Duvall]

That was the first.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No, he wasn't.

[Chris]

He coached.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No, he wasn't.

[Chris]

Well, he was in the front office in Phoenix and I think.

[Andrew Schultz]

No, it's a first time coach.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Was he? But yeah. Wasn't he an assistant somewhere?

[Duvall]

No, I don't think so. They were making a big deal that he was a first time coach.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Hold on.

[Duvall]

And then he quiet the noise when.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

He got some chill n. Steve Kerr was an assistant coach somewhere, bro.

[Andrew Schultz]

Hold on. What, the spurs or something like that?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I don't remember.

[Chris]

He was doing.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yes, he was. He was. He was. He was the general manager of the Phoenix Suns.

[Andrew Schultz]

NBA coaching. It's. It is not, it's true. It is not shocking that a first time coach will come. Listen, here's the.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That I want JJ Reddit to get smoke. Yo.

[Andrew Schultz]

All right, all these JJ Charlemagne is coming for you.

[Chris]

The reason he should get smoke is because he's invited smoke because he talks way more than most coaches about how his philosophies, what a great coach he is, how he understands basketball. That's why he should get.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

And he was LeBron James's podcast co host. So that's yet another, you know, move that LeBron and Klutch then made. Now I guess the verdict is still out on J.J. redick. It's only his second year, you know what I mean? But I just feel like he should get more smoke. So they give Bronnie so much than average NBA coach.

[Chris]

He's not terrible.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah, but the problem I have is solid. The problem I have with it is like Bronny gets so much smoke. This is Bronny's Second year, right. And they're like, oh, Bronny's just here because of fucking LeBron. Why? They don't say that about JJ?

[Andrew Schultz]

They do. No, they don't. You don't think that they say that?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

They didn't even mention JJ in that article. They mentioned Bronnie. They mentioned Russell Westbrook.

[Andrew Schultz]

I think we're living in an era where people don't think the coach matters.

[Duvall]

Damn.

[Andrew Schultz]

When it comes to basketball, like, I think that, like, coaches are so transient. And what a lot of people don't realize is, like, a lot of the choices for the team come from management. So, example, like the general managers, if they're involved in the actual team and the gameplay, they'll tell the coaches what type of plays they're going to run, what type of offense, what type of defense, and the coach will execute that. And when they're hiring them, they're. Because the GMs are the people that are building these teams, not these coaches that are placed in and out. Right.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Well, that's why I don't mind Steve Career ended up being a head coach because he was at least a G.

[Chris]

Well, I can tell you this. Nick Nurse has cost the Philadelphia 76ers games this year.

[Andrew Schultz]

But Nick Nurse also won a championship.

[Chris]

With the Raptors off the strength of Kwai. That was it.

[Andrew Schultz]

Well, but again, the idea to hire Nurse, right, Was like Maury and the. What's that?

[Chris]

It's Daryl Morey in the front office.

[Andrew Schultz]

Well, no, I'm not even talking about 76ers. I'm talking about what the Raptors did. Right. They're trying to find a coach that has a basketball philosophy that will fit the players that they've worked, which is.

[Chris]

Long stretch forwards who can help get off the player and then get back and contest threes. Guess what the Sixers don't have, right? That Guess what system he runs anyway.

[Andrew Schultz]

But again, again, this is the whole, like, Mike d' Antoni thing, right? Where it's just like, okay, exactly. But we have to think about most of these coaches are not involved. As we think. When we're kids, we're like, I want to be a coach and pick all the players on the team. GMs do all that. Okay, so the GMs.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

So that's why Steve Kerr was worthy of being a head coach, because he's.

[Andrew Schultz]

Been in that position.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

He was a gm. Yes.

[Andrew Schultz]

And he might have more control in picking the players, and his offense has obviously been very successful, and he picked the players that work for the offense.

[Chris]

But now you see he's human when he doesn't have the players as well.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I will give JJ some credit though. I mean, if you come from being a podcast co host and then you was 50 and 32, that's not a bad season, that's a good season. You also have an aging veteran, first round playoff exit. But that still was a good, a good season. That still was a good season.

[Duvall]

We are talking about a 40 year old LeBron, right? They're expecting he's him.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

But I'm gonna tell you something, and this is this, this is, this is a better point with wild injuries too.

[Andrew Schultz]

Like wasn't LeBron out?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Have to say anybody looking for LeBron to still be the, the veteran the guy is, that's ridiculous to me. But I will give this to JJ Redick too. The problem with J, and this is just a critique, the problem with JJ as a head coach, if this aging veteran is the one who put you on, you can't say he's the problem.

[Andrew Schultz]

Well, that is the.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You can't say, man. Actually you probably do need to move on from Bron right now. I love the guy, you know what I mean? But we need to move on from him. He's a man out of time. And now he don't really have a position here. He's still LeBron James.

[Chris]

That's why this article exists. This is the first move in separating from him, right? They're starting to show the fracture. Someone wants the world to know we're not on the same page. Now what I think is real interesting is I'd be curious on your guys reaction to this is the Rich Paul podcast comments where he's saying, trade Austin Reaves for Jaren Jackson Jr.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I don't like. And the reason, the reason I don't like it is because it causes unnecessary friction on the Lakers. Cause if I'm Austin Reaves, I'm looking at Braun like, yo, what's up with.

[Andrew Schultz]

Your man and Bron?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Why you can't want me out of here?

[Andrew Schultz]

Bron separated himself from the comments, right? But at the same time you have to look at it going, has Bron and Rich talked about this?

[Duvall]

Of course.

[Andrew Schultz]

And Bron is saying, hey Rich, I need you to put this in motion. I'm gonna back away from it, act like you're your own man. But there's no way he's gonna say something that salacious without talking to Bron about it first. It's not like Rich is stupid.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

So Austin Reeves agent got to go on a podcast and Be like, the problem with the lakers is actually LeBron James. That's who we need to trade. That's who we need to get up out of now.

[Andrew Schultz]

If you are the.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

And I know that sounds crazy because it's LeBron.

[Andrew Schultz]

Oh, no, it's not. Because it's LeBron at 41 years old.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That's true.

[Andrew Schultz]

You know, we're 40, we're in our 40s. We can't even get our dick 70%.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Oh, you know what I mean, this guy now, he. LeBron, definitely still getting bricked up. The shit he on is like, we just on peptides and shit.

[Andrew Schultz]

I'm not even on the peptides that.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

But I'm saying the shit he on is probably next level. Oh, my God, his dick probably wakes up before him. You know what I'm saying? Wake up, man. Time for practice. You know what I'm saying? Huh?

[Chris]

He can hang a sheepskin.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Oh, easy, easy. Sheepskin hang. You don't think so, Sherlock on that thing, man.

[Andrew Schultz]

Medieval armor.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Easy, easy. Put a helmet on that thing. Put a knight's helmet on the cane. Do you think he's on the.

[Andrew Schultz]

Dude, you think he's on a juice?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I don't know if it's juice.

[Andrew Schultz]

I mean, he's an athlete, not illegal substances.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

But he's, you know, he's on something good.

[Andrew Schultz]

He's taking care of his body athlete.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Like, why wouldn't he. We on supplements, we going to get mad and all that shit. Why wouldn't he be on some good shit?

[Andrew Schultz]

I need to get it. I'm not on any of that stuff. I'm just trying to get protein. But I need to. I'm not against it. I'm just lazy.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I do. I wonder why Rich Paul is even doing the podcast. Like, I just feel like there's certain. Certain professions, we don't need that. Like, we don't need managers talking. We don't need, you know, agents talking. Is it entertaining? Yes. But I always ask this, don't do a podcast if it affects your main thing. I can't see this not affecting his main thing. If I'm a player, why would I want to sign to Rich Paul knowing that my business, even not my business, I just respect the business of other players. I don't respect you going on podcasts talking about people should be traded, because you might do that to me.

[Andrew Schultz]

Let me ask you a question, okay. If you're a young player and you know that LeBron is at the horizon of his career, he's maybe got another year left or Something like that. Would you even sign to Rich Paul, knowing that Rich Paul's power and influence in the NBA is directly tied to LeBron James?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That's it. That's interesting.

[Andrew Schultz]

Without LeBron James. Now there is a version where LeBron could also be part of the management company when he leaves. And he still will have some power and influence, but not close to as much as he has when he is the driving force of the biggest NBA franchise. That's not the New York Knicks.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

What's the last young player that riches sign in the NBA? Like, I'm talking about like young star player. I don't know. I really don't.

[Andrew Schultz]

I'm just curious.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I mean, he's got a big Roth, his client, which is crazy, of course.

[Andrew Schultz]

But if you're a young. If you're a young player, like, you have to make that decision and you have to go, okay, he has tons of leverage right now with the league. He has tons of power with this team.

[Chris]

Scott Maxey.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Oh, Philly.

[Andrew Schultz]

Okay, but I'm just saying, like, if you're a young player and somebody's advising you, right? Let's say your kid is coming out of college and he's getting approached by all these people. If this is 10 years ago, you're like, go with Rich Paul. They dominate this league. They've run this. They have so much power, they have so much leverage. Everything right now you're going, LeBron could not play next year. What leverage will Rich have?

[Duvall]

That's a good ass point, right?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah, that's a great point. But I mean, I think Rich still has leverage just because of Clutch. He is one of the. I mean, the reason the podcast is making so much noise, it's because he's one of the most powerful agents.

[Andrew Schultz]

You know, I agreed he's one of the most powerful agents, but he's one of the most powerful agents because he is LeBron's guy.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

But I mean, he's still going to be connected to LeBron. I mean, LeBron may not be on the court, but LeBron James is going to be an ambassador for the NBA forever, bro.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah, but the level of power and prominence and influence you have when you're no longer playing is like 90% less.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

It's going to be different for LeBron.

[Chris]

I don't know.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Nah, it is, because LeBron is going to be almost like his career, almost Jordanesque. You know what I'm saying? Almost Jordan, but not quite there. Like, like Michael Jordan dominates the NBA still on a global level, bro. LeBron is like, right there with. With him.

[Andrew Schultz]

Michael Jordan got an NBA or did he sell a team?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah, he did. He sold. Yeah, he did sell it. Some. Some of it.

[Chris]

Charlotte.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Charlotte.

[Andrew Schultz]

He sold it, though.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Okay, so LeBron will end up getting the team.

[Andrew Schultz]

So here are Rich's clients, right? Where are we at? You want to read? You want to read?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I know he got Draymond.

[Andrew Schultz]

Go up, go up.

[Chris]

Aaron Fox is a big name. Anthony Davis is a big name.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Got Anthony Davis.

[Chris]

Who else they got there? Zach Ovine believe in Arenas's kid as part of the next generation?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I don't know, but see, that's. That's what you gotta. That's what you gotta bank on. You gotta bank on who are these next generation stars that, you know, Rich.

[Chris]

Paul had, like, the future of Sen. Portland.

[Andrew Schultz]

He doesn't. He doesn't have the big names in the league, if we're being honest.

[Chris]

He's his biggest young star.

[Andrew Schultz]

And Maxi is a stud. That kid's phenomenal.

[Chris]

But, I mean, Van Fleet's a big player.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, Fred. Shout Fred.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I get what you're saying.

[Andrew Schultz]

I'm just saying, like, maybe that's why.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

He started the pod. Maybe he tired of being an agent.

[Chris]

Maybe, like, you didn't get Cooper flag.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You didn't get Cooper flag. You didn't get Zion. You didn't get Zion. You didn't get Job when they were. When they were supposed to be the people.

[Andrew Schultz]

And I wonder if I'm just very curious, like, obviously this guy is sharp, right? He's navigated his guy I with Paul very well. Right. There's no question, you know, like, navigating the personalities of, like, absolute generational superstars like LeBron James is a difficult thing. You need high emotional intelligence to do. Like, you have to give credit like a lot of people. Oh, he's just his buddy. And that's why he. It's not just your buddy. It's like, you have to navigate the.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

The.

[Andrew Schultz]

The biggest athlete in the world and everything that comes with that. So you got to give credit to that if we're going to be, like, fair and honest.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

So why are you causing friction for this guy's team and unnecessary drama for this guy's team unless it's focus created from the King.

[Andrew Schultz]

So there's a thing that Chris probably knows way more about than any of us doing that. But, like. Like LeBron told me, you know, you know, like the Boston sports media mafia. Sure, okay. And you could probably speak to this way better than me, but, like, the idea is Boston Sports media led by.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Bill fucking Simmons, who gave Rich Paul a podcast just to destroy the Lakers. Because Bill Simmons, Bill motherfucking Simmons is a die hard Boston Celtics fan and he wants the Celtics to continue to be the most winningest franchise in NBA motherfucking history. So he motherfucking gave Rich Paul a podcast just to sabotage the motherfucking Lakers. Now you are a fan, a dialogue genius guy, man.

[Andrew Schultz]

But what I would say is that. What I would say is like what the Boston media would do is they would always protect Boston sports. And Boston sports were bigger than any player that was there, was bigger than any coach who was there. And you could speak more on this than I can, but it. It's not like that in New York, right? New York, you have a bunch of different factions that all want different things for their teams. They'll talk about each other. There's no kind of like uniform identity for what's happening there. And, you know, maybe there's a version of this happening within the Lakers and clutch where it's like, okay, LeBron can't kick off, you know, Austin, they can't talk. LeBron can't talk shit about Austin because that could drive down his trade value, right? He can't say, this guy on my team is not that good and then try to trade him for somebody.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Austin was smoking shit, but Austin was smoking shit this year.

[Andrew Schultz]

He might not be smoking shit in the way that he was averaging 30 at one point, but he might not be doing in a way that LeBron feels helps the team.

[Chris]

This is the theory that I've heard.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Austin playing way better till LeBron came back.

[Chris]

We sign Austin when his contract's up. He's a young superstar, a young white superstar. The Utah Jazz, any number of teams are going to go to the mat. And Rich Paul is just being realistic and looking at the situation and saying, you better get off this guy now.

[Andrew Schultz]

Because we will have. We won't be able to sign him and then we lose out and we're.

[Chris]

Going to lose him.

[Andrew Schultz]

He's right.

[Chris]

So move him now.

[Andrew Schultz]

And that's more would be like, what.

[Chris]

Does Austin Reaves need to. To succeed? He likes the ball in his hand, right? Like he. What does LeBron need? What does Lupa need?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

They got too many guys, a lot.

[Andrew Schultz]

Of mouths to feed.

[Chris]

Let's get rid of this kid. We're probably going to lose him anyway. Bring in Jaren Jackson Jr. He's a big man. He's just going to rebound, do what he does.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

More, more, you know, but if you're an agent, shouldn't you be having that conversation? Shouldn't those be backroom conversations?

[Chris]

The thing that Rich Paul said is the type of shit that agents say every day of the week for the last hundred years, but behind. They just don't say it on a podcast.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah, not publicly. I'm trying to. My guys, in his last couple of years, he's been one of the greatest players. He is one of the greatest players of all time. We want to put him in the best possible position to succeed. Have those conversations with owners behind the scenes, honestly. You know what's so crazy? Lakers got new ownership. Now that I think about it, he's probably having them conversations publicly because he don't have that leverage anymore with the organization. Because he would have had those conversations privately with Jenny and the Buss family. He don't have that type of leverage with the organization. No more. Let me say him publicly.

[Duvall]

I feel like this is nothing new. Like whenever LeBron wanted a trip, he found a way to get that out.

[Andrew Schultz]

To the business somehow. Listen to podcast. Listen to what? Listen to what Charlotte's saying.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You don't have that leverage if you.

[Andrew Schultz]

Don'T have that leverage with the team anymore. Right. And the reason why you don't is because you're not winning and you are not the dominant force that you used to be where you could single handedly, bare minimum, will your team to an NBA champion, to at least the NBA championships, maybe not winning it, but you could single handedly bring your team there. That's how dominant LeBron was on the East.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

In the east, regardless.

[Andrew Schultz]

All right, fine, in the east, but like there's credit there, right? Like, so, so I wonder if this is a. You're doing this through frustration. You're just like, oh, shit, we don't have the leverage of the team anymore. And it makes sense that you don't have the leverage of the team. Why would the team, why would the team blow everything up so that you could potentially win a championship this year when they got to deal with those decisions for the next decade? So they're going, no, we're not going to do this dumb shit. We want to continue to build with this young talent. And he's like, all right, well, we're going to force your hand. There's a version of that.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That's what that is. That's what it is. No, we just, we just crack the code. That's what it is. Rich don't have the leverage with the Lakers anymore.

[Andrew Schultz]

Ron don't have the leverage of the Lakers.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

So he's venting on the podcast and using the podcast to get their attention.

[Chris]

You know what? It's all business at the end of the day, because if you look at Rich Paul, right, he was Ben Simmons agent. Ben Simmons held out from the success Sixers. It was incredibly acrimonious. Like, the entire city was furious at Rich Paul, furious at Ben Simmons. Rich Paul finally was like, this guy's not serious. They cut ties. Then they had a situation with Maxi last off season where they basically needed him to wait to sign his extension to get the max because due to the timing, it would allow, I think, them to sign Paul George ultimately. Right. Who was Maxi's agent at the time, Rich Paul. Most agents aren't going to let their client wait to sign the. They're going to say, get the money right now while you're healthy, before Rich Paul is going to play ball with people. Man. Like it. You know, as. As hard as he went for Ben Simmons three years ago against the Sixers, he hooked them up with Maxi. I mean, it's. These are just business relationships.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah. I just bought this up just to say I don't like all the grace y' all giving J.J. redick, bro, I'm being honest with you. I'm being hon. Because. Because LeBron gets smoke. Even Luca gets smoke. You know what I'm saying? Bronnie gets smoke. JJ don't get no smoke. None ever. Not even a mention.

[Andrew Schultz]

Well, here's the question.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

And why do they attach all this other stuff to Bronnie and Rich Paul? I mean, LeBron and Rich Paul, but not JJ Redick.

[Andrew Schultz]

But JJ can't coach LeBron into not being 41.

[Chris]

Right.

[Andrew Schultz]

And I think that's the issue. If LeBron was 34 and they were having these struggles, JJ's probably out of there. So LeBron's age is probably benefiting JJ Redick. If they're not winning, everybody gets to go, oh, is LeBron.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

All I'm saying is when the media talks, like, you can read that article, they talk about Bronny, they talk about Russell Westbrook. People even talk about Rich Paul having a podcast, all being distractions and problems and this and that. Throw JJ in the mix, too, okay? He's a coach that got y' all to 50 and 32 the first year, but he had a first round exit.

[Andrew Schultz]

I do think having the podcast is you're putting yourself in positions where. Where you could fuck up the bag.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Bit, or there's only one thing worse than there's only one entity on this planet worse than an agent having a podcast. There's only one other title that a person can hold that is worse than an agent having a podcast. What is it?

[Andrew Schultz]

What is it?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I'm just saying. Yo, to me, list of people who shouldn't have podcasts. If I had a list, top three list of people who shouldn't have podcasts agents is probably like three. Then I would say any type of manager in the entertainment business is number two.

[Chris]

What about a lawyer?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Oh, lawyer definitely should not have a podcast. Especially if you on this too much case.

[Andrew Schultz]

They're too smart to do that. Like a lawyer would never incriminate themselves. A lawyer would know how dangerous a podcast is and never have.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

After the case is over, after the case is over and I win or something, you can go out there and talk about maybe how we got it done.

[Andrew Schultz]

They'll do a podcast invite, but they'll be a guest.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Number one. People that shouldn't be do podcast are keep your.

[Andrew Schultz]

You might as well say it cuz we going to cut it anyway. You might as well say it cuz we going to cut it anyway.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Just bleep man, bleeps are so much fun.

[Andrew Schultz]

No.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Wow. Let's pay some bills, guys.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah. Yeah, we do. Yeah, we got.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Let's pay some bills. Okay, let's take a break. This episode is brought to you by Prize Picks. Whether you're starting a new routine or making player picks for the first time, trying something new can be hard. But in life and on Prize Picks, it always feels good to be right. With high pressure playoff matchups every weekend and elite hoops action almost every night, the action never stops, and Prize Picks let you take control. You should be betting on football this weekend, baby. Who's going to the Super Bowl? Huh? Huh? On Prize Picks, how you play is up to you. If you want flexibility, choose Flex Play, where you can get paid even if one of your picks misses. And if you want the biggest payoffs, go for the power play. No matter your play, Prize Picks is a great way to put your takes to the test. Prize Picks now has early payouts. If your player gets off to a hot start, you now have the option to cash out those winnings before the game even finishes. Prize Picks puts their users first so all withdrawals are fast and secure. Prize Fix accepts most major payment methods, making deposits into your account quick and easy this sports season. Download the prizepix app today and use code IDIOTS to get $50 in lineup after you play your first $5 lineup. That's code IDIOTS to get $50 in lineups after you play your first $5 Lineup. Prize picks is good to be, right? And yo, salute to Cash App, man. Cash App is so interesting, man. I have a lot of people who just hit me on Cash App and ask for requests. I didn't know you could do that. I didn't know that somebody can just request money for you on a Cash App. Did you know that you can go to your Cash app?

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

And this. It can be random people requesting money from you.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah.

[Duvall]

They probably guessed your name. Did you put something or you have your.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No.

[Andrew Schultz]

You have your phone number. I don't.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

How would they have my phone number? I'll give you an example, right?

[Andrew Schultz]

Just asking more people to do it right now.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm like, okay, they need either your.

[Duvall]

Cash App handle or your telephone number, bro.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

It'll be people like this. This guy hit me, said, ask for $20 breakfast, please. Right? Another dude hit me and goes, man, I just need $35 for an eighth in gym, in therapy. Like, these are people actually hitting me.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah, I get it.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Asking for stuff. Anyway, when you get the Cash App card, not only do you get access to a ton of perks and benefits like exclusive early access to nationwide concert pre sales or discounts on popular brands, but you also have extra security with the power to instantly lock or unlock your card right from your phone in just one tap. If a suspicious transaction pops up on your card, Cash App asks you back by automatically declining the purchase and sending you a heads up to confirm if it's you or not. Behind the scenes, you can rest assured knowing your account balance is protected by 24. 7 fraud monitoring. Spend with peace of mind today and order a Cash App card in the app Rash App Rash appcard. For a limited time, new Cash App Customers can earn $10 if they use code Secure10 in their profile at sign and send $5 to a friend within 14 days. Terms apply. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App's bank partners. Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank Member FDIC discounting promotions provided by Cash App or Block Inc. Brand visit Cash App legal podcast for full disclosures. We got any church announcements?

[Andrew Schultz]

Yes. Church announcement May 8th Netflix is a joke fest. Jelly Roll, myself, some special guests. A beautifully broken night of comedy hosted by Jelly Roll. I'm going to be on there and then we're going to have some special guests. You know, it's going to be. It's going to be a Very, very fun night. We're not allowed to say just yet, but it's going to be a very fun, exciting night. That's. That's what I would like to tell you all. So you can go to get tickets for that right now. If we're still in the pre sale when this comes out. The pre sale code is Andrew, and we're gonna be at the Greek in la. The Greek. So it's a beautiful venue. And Jelly's the fucking man. And I'm very Big Jelly. Yeah. Yeah. So it's gonna be very cool. Very, very.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You can't call him Big Jelly no more. Jelly.

[Andrew Schultz]

Nah. Jelly Slender.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

He lost mad weight.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah. I'm stoked to be doing something out there a little different with Jelly. And that's gonna be great.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Well, speaking of Netflix, man, make sure you set your reminders.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

For this Monday, January 26, because the breakfast Club's content will be on Netflix. Salute to Canada. I was on the. I was on the Zoom with a lot of the folks from Netflix, and they were saying, you know, I had posted that. You know, I had posted for everybody to set their reminders on Instagram, and I saw Canada really heavy in the comments, but they said Canada hit the. Hit the Netflix line so much that they were like, yo, we gotta launch them in. In Canada on. On Monday. So, yes, America, in Canada. We are launching Breakfast Club on Netflix.

[Andrew Schultz]

Let's go.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Monday, January 26th. I mean, we're gonna eventually be in, you know, 109 countries around the world, but Netflix and Canada are the first two coming this Monday. So make sure you go to Netflix, click on Breakfast Club or type in Breakfast Club and then our pictures will pop up. Click on it and set your reminders, man. Podcasting is coming to Netflix. They got original podcasts now, too.

[Andrew Schultz]

I saw that. Pete's got one.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah, Pete Davidson. I did. Pete's podcast, Peach Podcast, is coming. But I will say this, and this is just for anybody who wants to get in the podcast space, please remember, podcasting is audio, guys. Like, if you're going to launch a podcast, you gotta launch the video and you gotta launch the audio. So even if you're doing original podcasts on Netflix, you still gotta have that audio up on an RSS feed somewhere. If not, it's just a vodcast. So you could say it's your first original vodcast, but it's not your first original podcast. So Netflix, you know, so is there.

[Andrew Schultz]

Gonna be a way to listen to the Netflix shows on audio, too? Or they just exist on the original.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Well, here's the cool thing. If you have Netflix, you know, you can watch Netflix shows on your mobile phone. So you'll still be able to watch Breakfast Club on your phone. But also they have a feature to where you can close the video but still have the audio. So it's the same thing. It's like it's just a new distribution platform for your audio. Just like nowadays you can go on Apple, you can go on Spotify, you can go on YouTube. You'll be able to do the same thing on Netflix. Because there are some people who actually, believe it or not, go to YouTube just to listen.

[Andrew Schultz]

Oh, 100. I think a lot of people at work are throwing it up on YouTube. They're doing whatever they're doing at their job. Maybe they pop in or the video gets crazy and then. But they have another window open.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Absolutely.

[Duvall]

And guys, if you're in the tri state area, this Saturday, I'm throwing a comedy show. It's also a benefit show. All the proceeds go to Food Bank 4 NYC.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Salute to the Food Bank.

[Andrew Schultz]

Shout out to Food Bank.

[Duvall]

We got some big performers. We got Ronnie Chang, Sam Morrell, we got Mark Gagnon. A lot of funny motherfuckers.

[Andrew Schultz]

Let's go.

[Duvall]

Just head over to cancelled comedy x.com get your tickets there. I'll see you guys this Saturday.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Trump backed off of Greenland. Said he's not gonna invade Greenland with force.

[Chris]

Good.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I mean, that's more than good.

[Andrew Schultz]

That is the right thing to do.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I think our reputation around the world is permanently damaged.

[Andrew Schultz]

Oh, really?

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

But I don't even know what that means. Cause I mean, it's kind of like.

[Chris]

Saying.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah, we don't fuck with them, but we gotta fuck with them. Cause it's still America at the end of the day, right? So, yes, the reputation is permanently down. If I'm any country. If I'm any country in the world, I don't trust America at all. And I'm ramping up all nuclear weapons programs just in case. Not saying that we will ever go.

[Andrew Schultz]

To war with the.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Nuclear weapons are what keeps everybody from even thinking about being so sporty that they might jump. Like, you can't tell me not to ramp up my nuclear weapons program because I just don't trust what may come out of America at this moment. You talk about just invading countries. I don't understand. You know, it was so interesting when he said that they have to do it because it's like a threat to our national security if we don't. It's a threat to our national security.

[Andrew Schultz]

If you do, there's an argument for that.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Even just making the threat is a threat to our national security.

[Duvall]

Why?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

If you're talking about going into another country and taking it over.

[Duvall]

Yeah, but they don't have a military that can.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

What about everybody else?

[Andrew Schultz]

I think the argument would be, if I was to make that argument, it would be like, okay, well, would NATO fracture from America? And then if NATO fractures, like, there's a reason why Putin is so supportive of this. It's not because he's invading Ukraine. It's because he likes the fracture between America and NATO, because he understands that NATO can't function without America. It's not even. It's not even it. Putin realizes what I think the European leaders seem to realize a little bit more now at this Davos thing, but they kind of, like, lived in the illusion for a while that they maybe pretended to not know it or something, but. Which is, like, without America's support, which I think they donate, like, 65% of the money for NATO. NATO isn't like a functional defense system against Russia, which would be the closest enemy to Europe. So, of course, Putin's like, hey, I think. I think Trump should go grab that shit. Anything that drives that wedge between America and NATO. Because if America's not defending Europe from Russia, whoever else, then they're fine.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

But then why do you want to be America? To have all these European countries click up, Then you still got Russia and you got China.

[Andrew Schultz]

I'm not worried about it.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

And the common enemy is now America. I'll give you an example.

[Andrew Schultz]

Right.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

We're all people in this room.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Somebody in this room stood up and swung on somebody in this room. Yeah. We wouldn't trust them to be in the room no more.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That's America right now.

[Chris]

Yep.

[Andrew Schultz]

Are you describing past experiences?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I'm just saying.

[Andrew Schultz]

Too soon.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I'm just saying, too soon. That's America Right Now. Nobody trusts America.

[Chris]

Right.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That's not good, bro. Yeah, that causes global instability. Like, why? So why.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah, that's interesting. Talk through that. Talk through that.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That's it. That's how it causes global instability. Once again, we said that it was a. It's a national security threat if we don't go into Greenland. To me, it's a national security threat. Just even threatening to go into Greenland because.

[Andrew Schultz]

Why. What is the argument for needing Greenland for national security?

[Chris]

I have.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Oh, because of what? It. What was it, Chris? Because it's close to Russia or some shit.

[Chris]

I don't fucking I mean, it's really about the resources is what I think.

[Andrew Schultz]

I mean, so then it's not the golden dome.

[Duvall]

They need that particular area to block off from rushing.

[Andrew Schultz]

My also, my also understanding is that like with the polar ice caps melting or whatever, there's going to be a lot more waterways that will start to open up. And then America's leverage on the world is controlling trade on. I mean, there's other leverage, but like one of the leverages, the fact that the American fleet can kind of control all these different trades routes around the world.

[Duvall]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schultz]

And if more trade routes open up and they don't have access there, which they could have access to. They already have the, they already have the, the military bases in Greenland and Greenland is already letting them do whatever they want to do. It's a very peculiar.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Why? It don't make sense.

[Andrew Schultz]

What?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Because it's just a distraction. It's just a distraction.

[Andrew Schultz]

Okay, so can I tell you my, my, my theory.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

My theory is at some point maybe, just maybe, people are going to stop bringing up the FT files. But every time they bring them shit up, he goes crazy. Get me Maduro. That's what I'm saying, he goes crazy. At some point somebody's going to be.

[Andrew Schultz]

Like, you know, guys, yo, you know, you know, it was weird.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Is it worth it bringing up.

[Andrew Schultz]

And I don't want to leave this, but talking to the Epstein, you know what's weird is like, you know, remember when the Clintons were like, yo, release the whole. They like, they basically. Do you remember that? They were like, this is incriminating to me. I want you to release the whole Epstein file. So they put out this statement that was basically saying that. Do you remember that happened kind of a few months ago.

[Duvall]

I didn't know they wanted the whole.

[Andrew Schultz]

Thing out or they said, just release it. All right. I think that they were subpoenaed to come in front of the, the committee that was investigating this or something like that, and they rebuked it. Did you see that?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yes, but I heard a good theory about that.

[Andrew Schultz]

Think about it.

[Duvall]

It's like, like Trump is doing everything in his power to distance himself from it when we know he's clearly in it.

[Andrew Schultz]

Right.

[Duvall]

I wouldn't go up and be like, oh, so you're gonna try to embarrass me? But you know, you're in this shit too. Like, nah, well, he should have to show up too. Everybody should have.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah, everybody.

[Duvall]

Trump's the main one that's like, oh, scrub my name from it.

[Andrew Schultz]

Like, which is Bullshit. We want justice for. We want justice for those girls. So all of y' all are gonna have to go in front of it.

[Duvall]

Exactly.

[Andrew Schultz]

But they don't get to not go because he's bitching out on it.

[Duvall]

Yeah, but he. But imagine if you were Clinton, you're like, no, I'm not fucking going up.

[Andrew Schultz]

If this. So my state. My statement would be that. So if I'm the Clintons, I make the statement. We will gladly go. As long as everyone else there that's mentioned would go.

[Duvall]

That would be a better.

[Andrew Schultz]

Because what it looked like from the statement is, oh, we're not going it. Which makes you look wild. Guilty.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No, I'm trying to find. I saw a good theory about this shit.

[Andrew Schultz]

But, like, why don't you say that? Be like, we would gladly go, and we would just. As long as everybody else there who's mentioned and Donald Trump is clearly mentioned, and. And we will both go, that's fine. Now you put in pressure instead of backing off and looking guilty.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

This is the theory I heard House Republicans are beginning to push to hold the Clintons and contempt of Congress over the Epstein probe. People are saying it's a brilliant move by the Clintons because being held in contempt of court or Congress means you've defied a legal order, like a subpoena or court ruling. And this action itself often triggers further legal steps and forces the issuing body, court, or Congress to take action to compel compliance, often through a motion to compel discovery, to get the information or action they need. In this case, the Trump Epstein files.

[Andrew Schultz]

I think you can accomplish that same thing at the same time saying, but you got to show up, too.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I don't know. Because they didn't want the hearings to be public. They wanted it to be private. Why would you want the hearing to be private?

[Andrew Schultz]

Nobody has read that article. That's the problem. The point is, a lot with this Epstein thing. It's this gigantic PR machine behind it, and it's fingers pointing. It's a Spider man meme. Republicans go, oh, it's a Democrat. It's Democrats going, oh, it's Trump. He's there. And it's like everybody's pointing, and everything you do and every statement you make is either looking like you're guilty or looking like you're trying to avoid it. So with you saying, like, he's snatching up Maduro or trying to take Greenland as a distraction, people go, yeah, I think you're interpreting this. You're like, yeah, see, he's guilty. He's trying to create distractions around this, where when the Clintons don't show up. Yes. There might be this sophisticated answer that you just said that opens up discovery, and now we actually get to see all the evidence and makes it public. That might make sense, but the PR game is they not trying to show up. And if you're not trying to show up is you're trying to avoid something because you're guilty. Especially after they bluffed with the yo. Release all the files thing.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Well, maybe the PR game is working because that theory is all I'm seeing. Circulation.

[Andrew Schultz]

Have you seen that?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

This just happened this morning, though, so give it a minute. Yeah, give it a second.

[Andrew Schultz]

Up until this point.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Give it a. This came out. What? Today?

[Andrew Schultz]

What?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Something. I know. I know. That they got. They skipped out. They must have skipped out on another one or something.

[Duvall]

No, no. So first they asked Bill to come in, and then the next day it was Hillary.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Hillary. Okay. All right. Well, yeah, so that's. This. What I just read that theory. I just read. That's starting to speculate now.

[Andrew Schultz]

So what's the deal with. With Greenland? It looks like there's. There's a framework where America gets to build bases wherever they want, and you don't want that. Denmark has no say in it.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

If America goes into Greenland, then Chris loses his homeland. You know what I'm saying? Cause China's definitely going into Taiwan. You know, then Russia can take Ukraine. Like, there's no. There's not even. There's no moral standard for anything anymore.

[Andrew Schultz]

No, no, no, that. That's not what I'm saying. The framework that they seem to have agreed upon is that America gets to build military bases with autonomous.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I didn't see no agreement. Did they. Did they come.

[Andrew Schultz]

That's what they started. That's what they started saying yesterday.

[Duvall]

Like, the details aren't fully out, but that's kind of what more or less.

[Andrew Schultz]

What they're probably going to be agreeing on. So America doesn't buy it. The citizens of Greenland don't get any money. They don't become Americans. But America gets access to the minerals and they can put their military bases wherever they want. Not wherever they want, but in these certain.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

But don't they already have military bases there?

[Andrew Schultz]

So this is the thing that I think people are missing out on. I think that Denmark would have been amicable. Is that the word to this agreement? And Greenland would have been amicable to disagreement before all the hullabaloo?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No.

[Duvall]

So the issue is. And I saw this is the Video back from, like, 2000.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That's the widest word I've ever heard you say in my life.

[Andrew Schultz]

Life.

[Duvall]

What? Hullabaloo.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Hullabaloo. The.

[Andrew Schultz]

I feel like that's Arabic.

[Duvall]

I don't even think I said hellabu.

[Andrew Schultz]

I feel like that's a dress.

[Duvall]

I don't even know what word.

[Andrew Schultz]

I feel like I did. I feel like I dipped some pita into that last week. Hullabaloo. That's a white word. All right, go. Nah.

[Duvall]

But so basically, China was already in Greenland, like, trying to get access to minerals, and then Trump blocked it, so that's why he wants to own it. So then it just keeps China and Russia out from the mineral.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Right?

[Andrew Schultz]

That's.

[Duvall]

That's the main thing.

[Andrew Schultz]

No, no, no, I. I understand that. I'm saying the current framework. Right. Is something that I believe could have been agreed upon without the threat of. Of military activity.

[Duvall]

Yeah, but why would. Why would Denmark want to not make money?

[Andrew Schultz]

So.

[Duvall]

So what do you mean by that with having China. Like, if China is willing to invest just so they can have some mineral rights.

[Andrew Schultz]

Right.

[Duvall]

Some mines and stuff like that. Why not?

[Andrew Schultz]

Because they would lose the support of the West.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Right.

[Andrew Schultz]

The idea is that if you're putting them in, and if you're putting China, who's, I guess, like an adversary, in an advantageous position to have the majority of these rare earth metals that we require to make all the batteries for our phones and all the other things that we need that you're putting us in a position where we're going to be reliant on a foreign power that doesn't have maybe our best interests at heart, and America's going to give pushback to that, and there might be European leaders that get pushed back to that. So what I assume is through.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Why would we assume that they wouldn't have our best interests at heart? Like what, China? Well, not China. I'm talking about, like, Denmark.

[Andrew Schultz]

No, no.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Who y' all talking about?

[Andrew Schultz]

China having influence.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Oh, got you, got you, got you, got you.

[Andrew Schultz]

What I'm. What I'm trying to say is, is I think that this could have been reached without the classic Trump approach, which is like, say, the biggest, wildest, craziest thing, and then meet in the middle.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

But I have to distract you from the Epstein house.

[Andrew Schultz]

Of course. Of course.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

What are we talking about here? We're trying to make sense of something that doesn't make any sense.

[Andrew Schultz]

Here's the problem.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You don't know. You know the problem.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Everything Trump throws against the Wall stink sticks some people throw against the wall and nothing sticks, right? Everything he trolls throws against the wall sticks. And now you're like, well, I didn't.

[Andrew Schultz]

Think he, I didn't think he realized how well the Venezuela thing was gonna go over. Like, I think they pitched it to him and he, and they, and they were basically like, all right, we're just gonna go on with helicopters and we're gonna hit this button and everybody's heads are gonna explode and their guns ain't gonna work, and then we're gonna snatch them. And he was like, you could do that? And they were like, yeah. And then it happened. And he was like, oh, shit, we got weapons. Weapons. And immediately after that he's like, iran, we might take you. Cuba, we're going to take you. Greenland, I want that.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That was wild, bro.

[Andrew Schultz]

I think he named 10 countries, bro.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I think he got a little stuck on Greenland.

[Andrew Schultz]

It's like when you knock someone out, like, after that, you don't care about Cuba. Say what?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Why you don't care about Cuba.

[Andrew Schultz]

No, they're taking Cuba.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Why you don't care about Mexico? He named six or seven countries and only everybody just got stuck on Greenland, bro.

[Andrew Schultz]

It's, I'm telling you, it's the confidence you have after you KO someone in a fight. You're like, everybody's jaw could get touched. And I think that he needs to just calm down, come back to reality. But that, because this is not what we don't. We don't want to, like, irritate our partners in the world. We can have good diplomatic conversations with Europe. We can have like a real, we can have a real discussion with Europe where we go, hey, guys, I get it that you want, you believe in climate change and it's important to you to be like net zero with carbon or whatever. But if you don't have the ability to produce energy on your own now, you're reliant on energy for your adversaries. If you're buying oil from Russia while you're at war with Russia, that's a conflict of interest. Don't you see that?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yes. And you know what else? You don't want to.

[Andrew Schultz]

Real quick, real quick, real quick. If you don't, if you, if you want to get off nuclear energy, I think, like, Germany shut down all their nuclear facilities now you're more reliant on oil and gas from Russia if you're just using battery powered stuff and you don't have the ability to make batteries. Right now you're relying completely on China for that. And this is not like having these discussions shouldn't be a fucking bully tactic, but it should be a real conversation the west wants to have, which is, hey, guys, it's great. We want to move towards net zero carbon emissions. That's awesome. That's a great endeavor. Climate change is real. Like, this is a good thing. But we have to first prepare ourselves in order to do that. So, for example, if you have a babysitter and you realize it's not working out with that babysitter, before you fire the babysitter, you make sure there's someone else that can look after your kids. Be it you stay home, your wife stays home, or you have another babysitter waiting. You don't just let the kids sit there in the fucking cold all day.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You're being way more rational about this than Donald Trump.

[Andrew Schultz]

I don't know what's all that, but that's the argument I'm trying to make. I don't like the way he's going about it because I think that there is a fair, balanced, diplomatic way to go about where the west has a real. And I think that people are starting to realize, okay, UK had, I think, drilling rights in the North Sea. I think they want to be net zero emissions. So they stopped doing the drilling. Norway continues to do drilling. They just purchased that oil from Norway. I'm pretty sure I'm a casual with a lot of this information. So it's just like. So the carbon emission just changed from your country. It didn't change from the world because you still rely on that oil. You have to find a way to transition out of these things without putting your country in a very desperate situation. And I think that's a fair conversation to have without being uber political.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

But he's not trying to have a conversation. Yeah, he's just trying to distract from Epstein.

[Andrew Schultz]

Okay, Okay.

[Chris]

I think there are other. But we've. Our policy have moved away from that. I mean, the, The Venezuela invasion shows that we're doubling down on oil as plenty of oil. So, you know the one, the one thing Trump's done.

[Andrew Schultz]

If I could just say.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah. Why do y' all act like Trump's doing anything except for getting rich?

[Andrew Schultz]

Okay, okay. Yes.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Trump don't care about, like, we gotta stop Trump.

[Duvall]

I'm not.

[Andrew Schultz]

I don't like how this is being framed.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No, no, no. I'm not talking about you. I'm just saying, in general, Trump is getting rich, guys.

[Andrew Schultz]

I know. And it's fucking horrible levels of corruption. We have never seen and we don't like it. None of us should like it.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No, American, actually, I'll take that back. I'm not gonna say levels of corruption. We've never seen levels of corruption. We haven't seen so. Done so publicly.

[Andrew Schultz]

Here's the thing.

[Chris]

Thing.

[Andrew Schultz]

If you're. If you're a conservative, right, that gets upset at Nancy Pelosi for rigging the stock market for her, you should be equally upset at Trump or his, you know, cronies doing the same thing and enriching themselves. Okay? Like, it is completely reasonable if you're going to be objective. If we're going to be ideologues, which is the only thing that fucking exists on the Internet. Let's just be honest, where you just go, I'm a right wing guy. I'm a left wing guy. And you just spout out all the talking points from that party. I get it. And that's the only thing that works on the Internet and that gets all the views and yada, yada, yada, and then it doesn't matter. But the reality is, is like, if you see corruption, you can call it out.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You got to.

[Andrew Schultz]

And that's okay.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

And this is corruption like we've never seen.

[Andrew Schultz]

Absolutely 100% and it should be called out.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

First person to buy to get some of the oil from Venezuela was a Trump megadonor, bro.

[Andrew Schultz]

Melania Trump has a documentary coming out.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

$80 million. How much was it?

[Andrew Schultz]

$40 million from Amazon. Do we really think.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Oh, 28. I'm sorry.

[Andrew Schultz]

Do we really think for a second that Amazon is not going, hey, it might be advantageous to do a little fucking $28 million? Like, of course there's a lot of fucking handshaking here. That is gross. And we don't like it.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Did you see this article? The New York Times did.

[Andrew Schultz]

I saw. This is like classic fucking. I just saw the Instagram post where they did the slide throughs of it.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Major tech and media companies have paid Donald Trump 90.5 million in settlement since his real life.

[Andrew Schultz]

You guys are worried about what he's getting. That's the most foolish thing. Like, this is. This is like you, caught up in.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

The car, gave Mr. $400,000,000.

[Andrew Schultz]

Charlamagne. Charlamagne. Charlamagne.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

And he was Air Force One while president.

[Andrew Schultz]

You're doing the low iq. You're doing the low iq.

[Duvall]

Corruption, like all the deals.

[Andrew Schultz]

Kushner. Yeah, like, no, no, no. But like, just pointing this shit out is like, of course is Charlemagne. Pointing this out is the dumb stuff.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No, it's not.

[Andrew Schultz]

Can I just point. Can I just finish the sentence? It's the dumb shit. Because it's a distraction from the actual shit. That is every.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

We can do both. We're smart enough. We're smart enough to call it all out.

[Andrew Schultz]

No, no, you can call it all out.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Have made at least 867 million through various.

[Andrew Schultz]

So now the Trumps. That's better now. Now you're talking. Yeah.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

So it's all the same.

[Andrew Schultz]

So all the people that were frustrated that, like, Biden put his crackhead son on this board of. Of. What is it? Oil and gas company or. Or what exactly was a petroleum company.

[Chris]

Or something like work.

[Andrew Schultz]

What was it?

[Chris]

Yeah, no, but. Yeah, it was.

[Andrew Schultz]

The point is the frustration.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I like my corruption, guy. I like my corruption done under the.

[Andrew Schultz]

With the nepo base.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Overtly.

[Andrew Schultz]

But the point is the frustration with that, right? Like, is very reasonable. And that same frustration can exist if you care about America and you don't want our politicians to enrich themselves when they're in office. You want them to just do the fucking job. Like, it'd be nice if a politician lost some money being a politician. Wouldn't it? Wouldn't it be nice if, like, a rich guy got in office and he was poorer than before he got there? That would be fucking great. I hate how we politicize even corruption. Like, can't we just be annoyed by it no matter who does it? We can be annoyed when he does it. We can be annoyed with Pelosi does it. We can be annoyed when there's the Somali daycare scam. We can be annoyed by all these things because what they showcase is Americans aren't eating first. All these things showcase that Americans are eating first. And that's what the fuck Americans are feeding and feeling right now. Why are we eating last?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

But who ran on America First, Charlemagne?

[Andrew Schultz]

We're not saying the same thing right now.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah, I'm with you, but that's why.

[Andrew Schultz]

People are agreeing with me. Like, I'm just saying, the American sentiment right now is this. I'm making an amount of money I can't afford the things that I used to be able to afford, okay? Things get way more expensive. I used to be able to take my kids and my wife on one vacation a year. Now I can't even do that. I got an Uber on Saturdays just to afford to put my kid in Pop Warner football.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

And I voted for you to fix it. And Baron's just getting taller, okay? And not because of his height. Cause he's standing on his fucking cash.

[Duvall]

Baron.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

How much did Baron. Baron got like 300 out of crypto. It was a crazy number. Did you see the number Baron got out of crypto?

[Andrew Schultz]

The tokens and all this?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I don't remember what it was. Yo, they getting paid.

[Andrew Schultz]

Here's the thing. Americans have a right to be frustrated on both sides of the aisle at this.

[Duvall]

But that was my point. It doesn't seem like.

[Chris]

Here's the.

[Duvall]

His bases.

[Andrew Schultz]

Frustrated. I don't think that that's. And listen, listen, I don't know if that's true, because I think all we see are people defending him on the Internet and then people shitting on him on the Internet. I would imagine if you asked a regular American, are they frustrated with politicians enriching themselves when they're in office on both sides of the aisle, right? If they're frustrated by it, I think that you would see them go, yeah, I think that sucks. And I don't want that to happen. If they're reasonable, if they're just these ideologues that just go, so I believe in everything, right? But you also have to understand.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

And his approval ratings when he's based on. Not good right now.

[Andrew Schultz]

Dude, Dude.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

His approval ratings when the GOP are not good.

[Andrew Schultz]

Can we just point out something that, like, Trump is an ideologue, right? He has his ideology and he has his belief systems. And that's a good point. He is such a gravitational force that, like, the people that believe in him and feel supported by him look the other way at things that actually go against their general very nature. And this is the point we were talking about.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Like, that's what's so funny. But his actual ideology isn't what they believe.

[Andrew Schultz]

Well, no, this. But I think this is, like, this is the most obvious human thing, right? Is that when human beings feel represented by something and something very core to them, something very important to them, they have this ability to, like, look the other way at things that would be abhorrent, right?

[Duvall]

Like, think about your favorite sports team. Like, when they make a bad trade or have a bad game, you're still rooting for them.

[Andrew Schultz]

You're like, that's my 100%. And I think. I think it's even. I think if we even go further back, like, I think it's, like, why a lot of people felt disillusioned by, like, Biden and Kamala. It's like their handling of Gaza was atrocious to a lot of us. And it was just really. And it was really hard to see that. And not see any pathway forward. Not even seeing them talking about the stopping of it. Not even seeing them even mention a plan or anything about it. And, like, it was just really difficult to see that. It was really difficult to see that destruction. Really just difficult to see fucking.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

He also told us that he wasn't gonna be the President of war.

[Andrew Schultz]

Sure, it was really difficult. We're not talking to him right now. We're really diffic. Difficult to see, but it's really difficult. It was really difficult to see dead babies. Like, those things are really difficult. And sometimes. And I think that there was a lot of Democrats, right? Like, not just myself, but, like, a lot of people, I think probably abstained from voting because they didn't want to support more of that. And then they also didn't want to support Trump, which is very privileged position to be in. Essentially abstaining is basically supporting the person who won. But the. But I think that is what happened. Like, you get caught on these things. So Trump is an ideologue, and he has such gravitational force that his believers that believe in him will look the other way at certain things. And I think it's important for us. And again, I'm not trying to preach or anything, but I think it is important to us. Like, if you don't see yourself as.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

An ideologue, but I also think we're not.

[Andrew Schultz]

You look at these different people and you call them out on the things that you disagree with that go against what your instincts are about, then you.

[Chris]

Get labeled a naughty lodge anyway.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Hold on.

[Andrew Schultz]

I want to hear that.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

But you know what? None of y' all are doing.

[Andrew Schultz]

Can I. Can I just hear this point? What are you saying?

[Chris]

All right, I've been someone who's been accused of having TDS any number of times, a million times, right? I'm not an ideologist. I know that people might not believe me in saying that.

[Andrew Schultz]

I don't think you are.

[Chris]

But if I criticize Trump the way I have, I've got tds. And that's the issue. When you have. I agree with what you're saying, but the problem is there's not room right now to call out what, in my opinion is like, incredibly blatant corruption, wrecking of the Constitution, threats to democracy. But you're still going to get labeled as an ideologue in this.

[Andrew Schultz]

Well, I think what happens right now is you have to stomach that, because the easiest way to dismiss you and your criticism is to just label you as an ideologue or tds, and that's to me, that's just the opposition and not wanting to know the truth. Right, sure. That's just trying to live in a false reality.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Look up Trump's approval rating with Republicans. And the reason I want you to.

[Chris]

It'S higher than you think. Because I checked it the other day.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

What is it?

[Chris]

At least in the New York Times poll, it was, it was kind of again.

[Andrew Schultz]

And just. And I want to hear your thoughts on it, too. But, like, I just think that, like, that's what you have to do. And, you know, Lord knows, like me, every time I call Trump out, like, people are frustrated about you, had him on your podcast, et cetera. It's like, yeah, the easiest thing in the world for me to do right now is just to become a right wing ideologue. That would be easy. There'd be security there. Everything would be fine. But that's just not who I am as a person. And like, talking freely, being a free American and saying the things I'm frustrated by. But also, if there's something that is good that he happens to do, then I'll say that too. Like when, if, if he. I don't think he'll get it done, but if he actually stops these, like, institutional banks from buying up all the single family homes so regular Americans can't buy him, that would be a good thing. And if that's Bernie who puts that through, or it's him who puts that through, I support it.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

But you know why he said that?

[Andrew Schultz]

Well, because he knows, I assume he knows affordability is the most important fucking thing to Americans right now.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

And he has to look out. It sounds good to Americans, but also like, hey, man, I see y' all over there getting all that motherfucking money.

[Andrew Schultz]

I need a little bit of that.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

So I'm gonna stop this shit. If I don't get my mother that trip.

[Andrew Schultz]

That is right.

[Chris]

Which is a classic Trump move.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That's classic.

[Andrew Schultz]

So. So look, that is one way of looking at it for sure. Sure. But if there is a version where drug prices come down, if there's a version where middle class people get the opportunity to buy a home, like, we have to start acknowledging the, that people are going through in this country. And it might be a little bit easier for us because we were fortunate enough and lucky enough. Lucky enough to make some money. Okay, but there are people who can't buy a home. They don't see any upward mobility in their jobs.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No, I know, Absolutely.

[Andrew Schultz]

And then they see money leaving the country and they see us spending billions of dollars on fucking stupid pet projects.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Around the fucking president getting fucking rich.

[Andrew Schultz]

And then you see them making a trillion fucking dollars, whatever it is. And they have every right to be frustrated.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I will say this, though. Cause y' all keep saying one thing that I don't know if it's as true as y' all think it is. I keep hearing people say, like, you know, debase isn't calling it out. I'll be outside.

[Andrew Schultz]

And they're frustrated by it.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

It's mad people frustrated in a real, real, real motherfucking way. People hurt because ever since the Epstein files and I said this shit, people started paying attention. They realized they're being lied to. So now they're paying attention to all of the lies that they're hearing. Telling people that grocery prices are down. No, the fuck they're not.

[Duvall]

Oh, I see people.

[Andrew Schultz]

I see that.

[Duvall]

I see people upset about.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

But that's what I mean.

[Chris]

Hold on. He did stop eight wars.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yo, can I tell you something about that grocery prices? Shit, I'm not going to name the spot, but, like, a place that I go to regularly. Some of the people who work there were like, the eggs cost less money. Now, I looked at how much the eggs cost when they buy them, and they haven't adjusted their cost of the eggs.

[Chris]

Now we're conditioned to paying X amount for eggs.

[Andrew Schultz]

This is the thing.

[Chris]

It's like, I've seen that with coffee.

[Andrew Schultz]

So back in the day when we were growing up, a cup of coffee drip, not the fancy European shit that just was a dollar. Once we started paying $5 for a Frappuccino, all of a sudden they bumped up the drip coffee to a roll.

[Chris]

We paid $4.50 for a drip yesterday.

[Andrew Schultz]

And you think it makes sense because we're normalized. So, like, there is a version where business owners, now that you know the cost of goods have gone down, you got a responsibility to the people, too. Like, the people were paying more than they could afford because they needed to eat. Now that it's cheaper for you, bring it back to the regular price.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah, but this just came out yesterday, guys. American families paid $310 more for groceries in 2025 than the previous year. Messaging from the Trump administration that food affordability pressures are easing. By the way, I don't even got a motherfucking. I didn't even have to read that report to know that. Because I pay for groceries, bro.

[Andrew Schultz]

This is the thing that people don't realize.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

And by the way, that's the same mistakes Biden made. Same mistake Biden Made telling people that things are okay when we're here. We go to the grocery store every freaking day. You can't continue to pee on my head and tell me that it's motherfucking raining, even if it's a Russian prostitute that doing it. And also. And also, we gotta do some math. Grenadas, because I gotta go. But this shit is. This shit is crazy. This shit is crazy on a different level, bro.

[Andrew Schultz]

This is why I think people are starting to realize, like, the. The allure of Mumdani, right? It's like, it's not like, oh, we need socialism. Oh, we need communism. That's not what these people are addicted to. Like, it's not like every one of them has been turned into a communist at these college institutions that they go to. That. That's not what this is. This is downstream from going, I can't afford my rent. What the fuck is going on? How are there people out here making billions of dollars and then you don't even put the heat on during the coldest week of the fucking of the year?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I don't like you giving Mandani credit for this.

[Andrew Schultz]

Why?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Because we. I know for a fact, I've been on this podcast for the longest, saying Americans care about two things. Having more money in their pocket and feeling safe.

[Andrew Schultz]

I agree.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You are a politician who can make American people feel that what you are, good money. That's what Trump might even go get you. Get you one if you want a pocket 1.4.

[Andrew Schultz]

But that's what Trump. So here's the thing. Is that's what Trump ran on, but. No, but that's what Trump ran on. He ran on affordability, right?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yes.

[Andrew Schultz]

Now it's not being executed. But I think that's why Trump didn't rebuke Mamdani in the office. I think that's why he cozied up to him, because he's like, you want.

[Chris]

To get a little bit of that?

[Andrew Schultz]

He goes, I can't bully the guy who's literally trying to give the people and very well might give the people the affordability that I keep talking about.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Well, he did say when the Democrats talk about it is bullshit. He said when the Democrats.

[Andrew Schultz]

Of course he said it. Of course. This is the ideologue bullshit. You know, there's this fake narrative that the Democrats talk about affordability. They just say the word. It doesn't mean anything to anybody. They just say it, affordability. The word affordability is a condition job by the Democrats. But the point is, is, like, people are hurting. They need Some help. And if they don't foresee it anywhere else, they will go to government. And if you don't want it to come from government, you have to create something that allows them to be. To alleviate a little of that pressure. And I wish I could prescribe the exact thing right now. Obviously, I can't. I don't know if any of you guys can, which is money, but we can't print more of that shit.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yes, you can. No, we can't make it fucking rain.

[Andrew Schultz]

We can steal it from Venezuela.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Listen.

[Duvall]

500 million.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Trump's quote yesterday. Usually they say he's a horrible. He's a horrible dictator type person. I'm a dictator, but sometimes you need a dictator.

[Andrew Schultz]

Usually they say he's a horrible dictator type person. I'm a dictator, but sometimes you need a dictator.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

What the fuck?

[Chris]

He should be out of here just on that.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

It's game over. What the fuck?

[Chris]

Or at least. At least the America I grew up in.

[Andrew Schultz]

This is the thing.

[Chris]

I don't know what this America is.

[Duvall]

He's scared because that's why he's like, if they lose midterms, they're going to impeach him again. He knows.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I think that would be a waste of time.

[Andrew Schultz]

This is the thing where, like, I.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Think that would be a waste.

[Andrew Schultz]

This is the thing.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Unless they can actually impeach him and get him out. I think they'll get with. But you know, the other thing I thought about. I do have to go. The other thing I thought about is the reason. I'm also glad the Greenland thing didn't happen. If the military went into Greenland, wouldn't that tell us that our military is compromised?

[Duvall]

Why?

[Andrew Schultz]

Why?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Because it's unlawful. It's against international law. It's against constitutional law. It would be an unlawful order.

[Duvall]

Yeah, but he would find a way to mask it, to make it seem.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Like, oh, no, the military, stupid. They're not dumb.

[Duvall]

They did that with Venezuela.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

I mean, they did that with weapons of mass destruction too, but this would be completely different. Like, all intel and all intelligence says there's no reason to go into green.

[Duvall]

Yeah, but Venezuela, like, there was no Congress.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

That wasn't a war, though. That wasn't an invasion.

[Andrew Schultz]

I think you're being.

[Duvall]

It was people on the ground.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No, that's not. They didn't invade Venezuela. They went for a particular mission. This was to be an invasion of Greenland.

[Andrew Schultz]

I think you're being naive to how global politics really works.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Tell me.

[Andrew Schultz]

I think that there are these rules set out and they're really on a global scale.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Invading Greenland is against international law.

[Andrew Schultz]

Can I just point it out?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schultz]

There are these rules set out and they're on a global scale enforced. And I put that in the quotes, by America. Meaning if America is not going to enforce it, you can do whatever you want. That is Russia, Ukraine. What Russia Ukraine did is wrong. But America hasn't enforced it, therefore it's happened. So if we are the enforcer of the world, and that is something that Europe subscribed to, when we pay 65% of NATO or whatever it is, and we don't follow our own rules, who's going to enforce our own rules?

[Charlamagne Tha God]

But isn't this unprecedented because it's invasive?

[Andrew Schultz]

I'm not saying it's right.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

It's a NATO ally. Lie.

[Andrew Schultz]

I feel like, I feel like you're thinking I'm defending it, which I'm not defending. I've already said very clearly I'm against this type of stuff. I think you can do it through diplomatic relations, I would hope. Right, but. And make it advantageous to everybody. Like I like having good relationship with Europe. Like I want that. Right, but what I'm saying is if we are the person, if we are the, the body that enforces the rules and we are not willing to enforce them on ourselves.

[Chris]

Right.

[Andrew Schultz]

Then who would? That's my point.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

But, but this would be America policing America. This is the American military saying. No, that's.

[Chris]

Congress has got to do that. The military's never.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

So that's another reason if you're bypassing Congress. Right. And if Congress is saying there's no reason to go in Greenland, which they've said.

[Duvall]

Right.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

And if the military still decided to say fuck Congress, I'm listening to the President, wouldn't that mean the military's compromise?

[Chris]

Sure.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Well, the military, they have some good ass food at that fucking meeting they had with the generals and admirals a few months ago.

[Duvall]

They have to follow orders.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah, the military follows the orders of.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

The President, not unlawful orders.

[Andrew Schultz]

Well, now we get into bogged down.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

At least we get into constitutional law, guys.

[Andrew Schultz]

Yeah, unfortunately what, what they would say is there's like a, I forget the exact name of it, but there's like a 60 day clause where you can enact certain policies and then in that period of time, you have to get them approved by Congress. The idea is like if a country attacks us, do we really get every senator and every congressman in the building and then have a vote and decide what we're gonna do? No, sometimes you need to act fast. But There is a window in which you would view that thing as a constitutional unconstitutional act. And I think the real point.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

The military does have the right to say no, though. The military can say no if they feel like it's.

[Chris]

They're not going to do that. I mean, what you need is some shit like Bush did and Cheney did with Iraq, where they.

[Andrew Schultz]

It's not really a war.

[Chris]

They come up with some convoluted excuse and they give testimony and they have the yellow cake and all that bullshit, and then everybody eventually goes through with it. You know, maybe Trump doesn't feel like he even has to go through that sort of.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

No, he's not going to get charades, try to get congressional.

[Chris]

But I don't think you can expect the military, because you almost don't want that. Because if the military doesn't.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

You don't want the military saying no to an unlawful order, then the military.

[Chris]

Is going to fracture. That's how you get civil war.

[Duvall]

Besides what's lawful.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Yeah. Oh, we're there.

[Chris]

Must have to be somewhere.

[Charlamagne Tha God]

Listen, as always, I'm sorry, man. We'll do Asking Idiots next week. But as always, if you listen to this podcast, you think we're smart, you think we're intelligent, you think we're brilliant. You're absolutely right. But if you listen to this podcast, I think we're just a couple idiots who don't know shit. You're right, too. It's the Brilliant Idiots podcast. Thank you for listening.