← The Broski Report with Brittany Broski
Loading summary
Transcript1 lines
- [00:00]
Brittany Broski
This episode is sponsored by DoorDash. Summer spending creeping up on you between pool parties, patio dinners, and endless iced coffees, it all adds up pretty fast. But summer of dashpass on DoorDash is here to save the day with deals so good, it's a little scary. Summer of DashPass is back from June 26 through July 30, and it's packed with deals on everything you're already ordering. Local eats, groceries, stuff from your favorite stores, sunscreen, fruit trays, and aloe vera for those who crisp up in the sun. And more. Keep on saving with $0 delivery fees and reduced service fees on eligible orders. Order on DoorDash and save big during summer of DashPass. Sign up today. DashPass benefits apply only to eligible orders. Terms apply. Check daily for massive summer savings on restaurants, groceries and brands from June 26 through July 30. Sign up for DashPass now if you aren't already a member, and enjoy summer full of savings. DashPass benefits apply only to eligible orders. Terms apply. Direct from the Broski Nation headquarters in Los Angeles, California, this is the Broski Report with your host, Brittany Broski. Soldier boy up in the soul. Watch me crank it Watch me roll Watch me crank that soldier boy no, Superman, that ho. Now watch me now watch me, you now watch me, soldier boy Band is hole. Watch me crank it Watch me roll Watch me crank that soldier boy to Superman that hole now watch me, you now watch me, you now watch me, you all right, guys. Welcome back. Help. Help. Help me soldier boy up in this song. Watch me crack and watch me roll. Guys, get up. It's 8:00am guys, get up, it's 8:00am this is your wake up call. Hi, this is the front desk calling. This is your wake up call. These facial framing pieces are just not. It's one of those days, y'. All. Some days I have days where I'm like, I don't know if there's actually a more beautiful woman alive than me. It might. It might be me. And I'm sorry to kind of end it for the rest of y', all, but it might be me. Today is not that day. Today. I'm looking at this bit. I'm actually. I'm gonna turn this screen off. I'm turning this screen off. And that's just how it is. Because I didn't used to have a screen. You know what I mean? I've been. I've been spoiled by the screen. All right, you guys. Holy. We have a lot to talk about today. First and foremost. Another week. Soldier boy. Up in the sun. Watch me crank it. Watch me roll. Watch me crank that soldier boy. No, Superman. That O Soldier, Soldier, soldier, soldier. Do you guys remember that fucking song? Black and yellow, black and yellow, Black and yellow, Black and yellow. Yeah. Ah, you know what it is? Everything. Everything I do, I do it big. Yeah. It's gonna stop if you screaming when you see me in the. What the are the lyrics to that song. Anyway, let's cut to the chase. I have to talk about this tikt. Okay, so basically, here's I'll describe what this tick tock just was. This is a grown ass woman flailing around on the floor throwing a hissy. And yes, I mean a hissy fit in a public airport while onlookers record. While onlookers, voyeurs and passerbys film her. She is flailing around on the floor because she did not get her way. Let's watch it again. The fucking cops or whoever the fuck is back there just watching her just like thumb through belt loop, just leaned up against the counter just watching her do that. Yeah, actually, I saw this TikTok and it shook me to my core because what level of boomer is this? What Boomer? Gen X hybrid is this where you can do that and think, this will get me my way? Oh, this will get me my way? Well, you guys leave me no option. It's clear what I have to do next. What's the fucking caption? Passenger throws epic tantrum over her luggage. Passenger grown ass baby. Woman throws epic chungus tantrum over her luggage that probably was too fucking heavy. And I know her ass is probably flying spirit. So she said she probably was like, yeah, it's £75. What's the big deal? And they're like, ma', am, you're gonna have to pay for that. And she probably threw this big hissy and I don't even want to know what's in the luggage, okay? I recently watched the Sex and the City 2 movie and let me just tell you. Why did they do that to Samantha? Why did they do that to Samantha? They made her the big old heifer with a bunch of creams. She's going through menopause. Why did they do that to her anyway? The big woman baby who threw the epic hissy at the whatever fucking airport this is. I know this woman makes marbled tumblers on TikTok. I know this woman calls her grandkids fat whenever she gets the chance. I know this woman is probably in a loveless marriage. I know this woman's Kids don't talk to her. The grandkids are the tether, you know? And what I've kind of realized is there's something here. I'm going to start doing this. Passenger throws epic tantrum over her luggage. I'm gonna start doing this. I think there might be some validity to what she's doing here. Like tsa. Imagine going through tsa, they flag something in your bag, okay? You forget to throw out a water bottle. Maybe it's like my big fat tube of eczema cream. Because, yes, I have eczema. Yes, we exist. Sometimes your skin tries to peel off your body. And that's not my fault. It's not a doctor's fault. But I am sort of heavily reliant upon eczema to keep me here, keep me in one piece. Otherwise I'm just kind of skin flakes floating in the air. You know, those tiktoks are always like, we're made of stardust. Everything about the human body comes from stardust. Yeah, well, my stardust is diydrotic acute eczema. So what about that? What about that, Neil DeGrasse Tyson? My fucking. My fucking lips are made of fucking eczema. I am just an accumulation of skin flakes that have melded together because I have so much grease on my body. It acts as a solvent and it glues all of it together. But you put. Look, you stress me out this bad, all right? And I start doing my tantrum, pieces of me are going to start flying off into the ethereum. I'm gonna. You didn't let me bring my eczema. Psst. One arm goes. I wanted to bring my. Pfft. There's my other arm. Okay? This shit's gonna happen to me. Viral TikTok star Brittney Broski found an eczema puff at the DFW airport. Viral. Brittany Broski explodes at the DFW airport. Not in any terrorist related incident. Just she's got eczema and she ended up turning into a big cloud of. A big cloud of skin particles. Scarticles, if you will. Like, imagine this woman going through TSA. Just a bag full of liquid. Bag full of 8 ounce, 12 ounce, 36 ounce liquids. And these people always act like they've never flown before. What do you mean? You're 70 years old. You've never fucking gotten on an airplane. And oh my God, don't even get me started on these real ID people, okay? The old heads who don't have a real ID don't have an updated Passport. And they come to the airport. Look, those signs have been everywhere, everywhere in the airports for, like, the last at least five years. National news blasts about it. Careful. If you're traveling after 2025, you're going to need Real ID with the Star in the corner of the. These people have known, okay? And you're getting on a flight. You're getting on a flight to go harass customer service workers. You're not even flying anywhere. They're getting up into the plane, flying to fucking Salt Lake City, flying back to where they came from. They're not even going anywhere. This, for them, is fun. These people like to get on planes and just harass. I truly believe they like to see what they can get away with. What? Doing this? Throwing an epic tantrum over your luggage? Yeah, I'm going to start doing this. I'm going to go through tsa, and I'm going to pack a suitcase full of liquid, and I'm going to put it through the fucking machine. And they're going to flag it. They're going to be like, whose bag is this? And I'm going to say. They're going to say, ma', am, you have to throw this away. And I'm going to say, no, I don't want to. I don't want to. I don't want to. I don't want. And I'm going to hold my breath. I'm going to hold my breath until I pass out because you motherfuckers want me dead. Everyone in this airport's trying to kill me. It's because you want me to throw out my luggage because you trying to fucking kill me. Every TSA agent here is trying to kill me. That's what I'm gonna do the next time I have to. Ma', am, you cannot bring this much liquid on the plane. You're gonna have to throw some of it out. You are only allowed a small. You motherfucker. They told me about you, and you were gonna try to kill me. I knew it. When they said someone was gonna kill me, I knew it was gonna be you. Ma', am, please come this way. We have. Don't touch me. The way that. That's not an exaggeration. Like, that's genuinely how old people fucking act at the airport. That's how they act. Don't touch me. I'll call the fucking police. Ma', am, we have to. You refuse to go through the metal detector. You say you have a heart. Stent. Get over here so we can wand you. Don't fucking Touch me. I will have you know I read my Miranda rights this morning, and they said you can't touch me. Ma', am, please come over. We're going to have to take you to a private room. A private room. So you can what, Kill me? Ma', am, do you want to get on the plane or not? I. And I was about to say something, and I'm actually. I just decided I'm gonna let it rip. Obviously, my own grandparents are. Are not included in this, but I hate old people. I know some people are like, oh, old people are so. This shit. This shit, dude. Would you ever see a millennial or. Well, would you ever see someone under the age of 30 doing something like this? No, because they have too much social anxiety. That's the issue with Gen X and boomers. I. I don't know how the fuck. Those generations do not have social anxiety. In fact, they bask in it. They bask in the freedom. These are the people that caused a whole generation to have social anxiety because you do this shit and then you involve everyone in the family. Let's go. Let's go. You just threw a hissy on the floor of the DFW airport. Now I have to go get on a plane and sit next to you. My God. Yeah, I'm gonna start doing this. That's what I've adopted. I'm gonna start doing this. When I go through tsa, I'm gonna accuse all the TSA officers of trying to kill me. I'm gonna start kicking the metal detector. I'm gonna kick over wheelchairs. I'm gonna get in a wheelchair and I'm. Someone push me. Someone push me. Get me the hell away from here. That's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna do the greatest freakout ever, Brittany's version, and I'm going to shove one of those TSA wands up my butt. I'm going to do the greatest freak out ever, where he does the remote up, put it up here. I'm going to do that. But it's a TSA wand, because everyone here is trying to kill me. And y' all right here is trying to kill me. TSA one up my butt. Because that's what I have to do, because they've left me no choice. And you know what actually makes me sick is she probably got her way. She probably got her way. She probably's got some son in law who works for American Airlines and was able to call and be like, just let her. Right? Because that's the thing they get away with it. These Gen X boomers, whatever. Whatever side of the aisle you fall on, Gen X or boomer, they get away with it. And if they don't, then it's. It's never their fault. Perpetual victims. Even though the earth is on fire because of you. Start bashing my head on the fucking. On the fucking douche. Douche. Douche. Ma', am, you have to come with us. Get the fuck back. This episode is sponsored by DoorDash. Summer spending creeping up on you between pool parties, patio dinners and endless iced coffees, it all adds up pretty fast. But summer of dashpass on DoorDash is here to save the day with deals so good, it's a little scary. Summer of DashPass is back from June 26th through July 30th. And it's packed with deals on everything you're already local. Eats, groceries, stuff from your favorite stores, sunscreen, fruit trays, and aloe vera for those who crisp up in the sun. And more. Keep on saving with $0 delivery fees and reduced service fees on eligible orders. Order on DoorDash and save big during summer of DashPass. Sign up today. DashPass benefits apply only to eligible orders. Terms apply. Check daily for massive summer savings on restaurants, groceries and brands from June 26 through July 30. Sign up for DashPass now if you aren't already a member and enjoy a summer full of savings. DashPass benefits apply only to eligible orders. Terms apply. This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Fiscally responsible financial geniuses, monetary magicians. These are things people say about drivers who switch their car insurance to Progressive and save hundreds because Progressive offers discounts for paying in full, owning a home and more. Plus, you can count on their great customer service to help you when you need it. So your dollar goes a long way. Visit progressive.com to see if you could save on car insurance. Progressive Casualty Insurance company and affiliates. Potential savings will vary. Not available in all states or situations. Okay, you guys know what I want to talk about next is. I recently rewatched Twilight. Specifically Breaking Dawn. Y'. All. Y'. All. Okay. Edward and Bella were fucking. Fucking. Capital F. Capital G. Fucking what? Let me take a breath. Rewatching, rereading some of those scenes as a grown ass woman. As a grown all woman, I have to say, what the hell? Stephanie Meyer, you literal freak. You are a freak. Breaking the bed. Fucking feathers everywhere. That shit was so horny, by the way. Okay, I don't know if Twilight's characterized as a YA novel. Not to me. Not to me. All Right, well, they are in high school. I don't care, okay? Because by the time they get to, you know, Breaking dawn and they're at that wherever the fuck island they go, and he's fucking her in that bed, he's her in that bed and it's destroyed the next morning. Why is that? Why was that in writing these characters? Think of all the planning that goes into, like, writing a four. Actually like more than four series. Four part book. Fuck, can I talk? Four part book series. All the prep and planning that goes into that. Storyboarding, character arcs, character backgrounds, okay? Family trees, governmental systems, high school names, shit like that. To write in that, he fucks her real good to the point where it's destroyed. They destroy the venue. Oh, I'm just now realizing as an adult, oh, my God, what's that? I mean, I get that they're vampires, right? I get that. There's vampires, there's extra terrestrial, extra human sort of capabilities and strength. However. However. Rip that bitch up. The four poster bed ripped up, headboard torn off, sheets shredded. What were y' all doing? There's no need for all that. I guess it had been building up, the tension had been pent up for four books. I get it, okay? But damn. And I'm. Look, I'm all up in that. Okay, I'm reading it. I'm. Oh, my God. Oh, by the way, I have to talk about a book I'm reading. I've got about 40 pages left in Shield of Sparrows. Let's talk about Shield of Sparrows for a second, okay? I thought Shield of Sparrows was a pirate book. I was sorely mistaken. All right? There is sailing in this book. However, it is not a pirate book. I was fucking led astray. I was led astray. Did I read a synopsis of it? No. Did I just see that it had great reviews on Booktok and Goodreads? Yeah. And so when I was at BNN, Barnes & Noble, my neighborhood BN, I. I picked it up. And was that book $35, by the way? Yeah, it was 34.99. Fuck me. I pick it up. Okay, here's what I will say. I am not done with this book. But I couldn't put it down. It's. This is the third day that I've been reading it and it's like 500 pages. So I flew through that bitch. I read it all yesterday, all the day before. I will say it is a classic. Just romantasy structure. Okay? Really nothing new here. There are some crazy twists and turns at the End. That I have been enjoying. There were two parts where I was. No, I like out loud in my living room. No. Oh my God. So I will say, yeah, it gooped me. It gooped me a little bit. But my God, for the first 350 pages, no boinking, no kissing very much. Flirting very much. Extended eye contact very much. He whispered into the shell of my ear. Okay, 350 pages, no one's boinking. This was marketed to me as a spicy fantasy. And I'm not. Look, let me make a disclaimer. I'm not the one. My favorite book ever is the Secret History by Donna Tartt. I love Angels and Demons by Dan Brown. I love all, you know, east of Eden, whatever. Which I'm going to talk about next episode or maybe 17 episodes from now. Who fucking knows? Are you guys going to kill me? Shield of Sparrows. I'm a Romantasy enjoyer, but not just romanticy, okay? I read a bunch of shit. I also just finished why I Write by George Orwell, which I will talk about in a second. This book, I knew what I was getting into. I've been reading a lot of dark like nonfiction and I wanted a light hearted, you know, whatever. So I read it. I just want to make it clear that this is a fun read for me. I don't exclusively read Romantasy. Okay, for all you bitches in the comments that are like, and this is the thing, people have reduced reading down to just fucking porn. No. However, when I want to read porn, I read porn. When I want to read fucking Shield of Sparrows. Because the big sexy man with a beard and brown hair and he's six four, he's got corded ripped muscles. Yeah, I want to read that. And does that make me un American? Does that make me a pseudo intellectual? Anti intellectualism? No. No. I posted on my story the other day, Broski Nation Book club and it was Shield of Sparrows and How Fascism Works. The Politics of Us versus Them. That's what I'm reading. Okay, Shield of Sparrows. Here's what I'll say. Lead character. Absolutely 10 out of 10. 10 out of 10. Chef's kiss. Absolutely love it. The Guardian. The Guardian. Holy shit. Very bad. Yes. Wha. Oh yes, yes. And I have a certain celebrity fan cast in mind that I'm not at liberty to share right now. But you guys leave it in the comments who you think. I have fan casted as the Guardian and I'll like the comments that are, that are, that are accurate. Okay, the Guardian probably look okay. When it comes to fantasy book boyfriends, I know a lot of people have Rhysand as her number one. I get it, I get it. And if you have Xavier as your number one from fucking whatever. Is his name. Xavier from 4th Wing. I don't. We can't really like. I get it. Okay? But Xavier is so toxic. So is Violet. For that sake. They fucking deserve each other. They so. Oh, my God. They annoyed me. I didn't read the third one, by the way. Xavier. And then from the Throne of Glass. Whatever. People love Dorian and Kael and whatever. Okay, I get it. The Guardian. Oh, and Quicksilver. What's the dude's name in Quicksilver? He was sexy. Kingfisher. Love that Irish band, by the way. Kingfisher from Quicksilver. I will be reading the second one. Brims. Brimstone. Brimheart. Brimstone, Heart, whatever it's called. Callie Heart is the author. Okay. Shield of Sparrows, the Guardian. Very, very much. Yeah. And I do enjoy the female main character because this is my complaint with a lot of romantasy is that people try to make her, you know, if it's a lead female character, people try to make her too much. Like, I've been through the fucking hardships. No one's known what I've lived through. Family, dead. Parents, dead. Best friends, dead. I'm starving. I have no money, but I'm also ripped. I'm also curvy. And I have beautiful luscious hair down to my ass that I so much hair I can't even fit into a braid. And my eyelashes are so dark and long they get in the way. It's shit like that. These leather pants won't fit over my juicy ass. BBL curves. Even though I'm 18 and I'm starving. It's shit like that, right? Where I'm like, okay, I get it. You're trying to give this character depth. You're trying to give this character some sympathy factor for us to be like, she just a man will fix it. Like, that type of shit, unfortunately, is a lot of the times it's the trope. This one dude very much I appreciate. I'm not going to give away too much because this is all kind of revealed in the first 10 pages. She is a princess and her family is maybe not sadder, but definitely more interesting. Her family is together, somewhat functional. She's got a half sister, a stepmother, a half brother and her dad. Her mother dead or missing, and no one really talks about it. However, this female main character, what Is her fucking name Odessa. Odessa is tender hearted. The only thing that she really needs in this life is her father's approval and her father's love, you know, and just like a loving family unit, she yearns for it. And I think a part of her knows that she will never get it. These are not the people that will be able to give that to her. And it's not her fault. It's not her inability to be loved. It's not anything wrong with her. It is her family, her family not seeing her, her family dismissing her, telling her to get out of the way. She is the eldest sister, but she is not the heir to the throne. It's shit like that where it's like, here is a woman that's just been overlooked and she has so much love in her heart to give, but she remains hopeful. And she is not cynical towards the world. She leads with love and kindness. And she tries to show love wherever she can, even though it hasn't been shown to her. I love that. I love that in the main character, okay. Because a lot of authors will take the route of that hardens her, right? And that's why she builds up this wall and only the man can knock the wall down. It's not that. Oh, my God. Odessa is her bleeding heart. She has so much love to give. She loves small animals and children more than she'll ever love herself. You know, like that sort of thing where it's just she radiates hope and love, and that is the bravest thing you can do. And let me say that again, radiating hope and love in a cynical world is the bravest thing you could do. That is true courage. Okay? Cruelty's boring. So I really appreciate that. No, Dessa. And so does our main male character. Yes, yes, and yes. Oh, my God. Yeah. Okay. A man who sees the heart of you. Wow. And from the beginning, I mean, as with any enemies to lovers, whatever, right? I don't even know if this is enemies to lovers. I mean, it kind of is. It's like strangers to lovers, it's enemies to lovers. With a dynamic like that as well, from the jump, you see the negative parts of each other, which I love. That's why I like it. You show them up front. These are the horrible parts of my personality. Because you're getting the full force, like the brunt of it on both ends, right? I like. I'm her. We're seeing all the negative parts of his personality. You know, the. The mystery, the dismissiveness, the arrogance, the stubbornness. All of These things that it's honestly how they process emotions. And then as they get endeared to one another, the walls come down. So you've done the hard work, right? It's not like it's all honeymoon rainbows and butterflies. You're so in love. And then you start saying the negative parts of these people, and it's like, oh, I don't know if I want to. You know, I don't know if I'm ready for all that. It's the opposite. I've seen the worst of what you have to throw at me, and I'm still here, you know? And now it's like smooth sailing. So it's that type of shit. I really enjoy their dynamic. And of course, it's the classic, okay, who's going to train me? Because I'm a princess and I want to use his sword. Who's going to train me? Oh, fuck. The big, buff, corded muscle, ripped, veiny cock has to go train me. The penis with ears has to come train me. Fine. Get into your fighting stance. Get into my fighting stance. I guess one foot behind the other for balance, okay. Because you don't want to be knocked on your ass. I've read so many of these damn fantasy books. I could teach a class on swordplay. And did I order a foam sword from the Interweb? Yeah, I did. And do I run around my house in a cape with a sword sometimes? Yeah. And am I 28? Yeah, I am. And I fail to see where the issue lies. I fail to see. I fail to see. What's wrong with that? What's wrong with that? Nothing. God forbid a woman has a hobby. God forbid a woman runs through the home that she lives in. Absolutely. Going to town on a foam sword. I beat the out of my couch. Okay. And I also got a metal one. It's not in here. Oh, and I have a lightsaber in the corner, too. I have my Kylo Ren lightsaber because I don't have. Look. I don't have a green one, blue one. I don't even have a Mace Windu one, okay? And I think that if I were to do the lightsaber experience at Disney, that's the one I would get because I. It's not even about being different. It's about. I love Mace Windu, okay? I love Mace Windu. I do swordplay in my home, and at this point, I could teach a fucking class on it. Next. Next podcast, I'm gonna. I'm gonna teach you guys some sword swordplay. 101. And if there's any Medieval Times knights watching. Turn up the brightness. If there's any knights who work at Medieval Times, the Renaissance Fair. Disney. Turn that brightness up. Yeah. Turn that brightness up. Turn up the sound. I want you to see this. I want you to see and hear this. Okay? This one's for y'. All. And if any of you guys want me, shoot me a dm. You know where I am. All right? I'm. I'm over here teaching swordplay classes. All right? You know where. You know where to find me. Okay? I do like Shield of Sparrows. I think the concept is fun. It's just enough political, you know, whatever. It's not confusing at all. I didn't expect the twist. And I'm. Me and Drew talk about this a lot because we're always kind of. When we read, especially fantasy, it's like we're predicting the twist or where the author's gonna take it. And when they go completely left field, it's really nice. But don't, you know, like, I don't want to stray too far from the world that they've built. Like, in trying to deliver a twist, sometimes they completely undermine the world that these. That they've built for themselves as the author. And this is not that, like, it really honors the true nature of these characters. And I'm loving it so far. I got 40 pages left, and I'm wondering, is this. Is this a series? Is Shield of Sparrows a standalone? No, it's not. It's the first book in a series. The ending leaves room for further development and a potential sequel. Okay, I wonder if she's reading, if she's writing it. It's got great reviews. I don't know if it's one of those. Like, it's just new, and so it has great reviews. I saw this TikTok of this dude going in on goodreads, how the UI hasn't been updated since 2012. You can't do half star ratings on Goodreads. There are so many different versions of books on Goodreads that if we could just consolidate, you know, like, clearly we're all talking about the same book here, not a version that was published in 2005, 2007, 2011. They're all three different listings of the same book. There are so many things, accurate book recommendations based on, like, what you're logging, what's on your tbr, shit like that, you know, even an improved way to see your friends reviews and what your friends are reading. And if there's like a maybe new and improved forum or way to interact and have discourse on these books. It just sucks. But I I'm not on Storygraph or what's the other one? Fable Blueberry Faygo. I'm not on that one. So I don't really know because all my shit's on Goodreads. You know what I mean? Like I'd have to transfer all my TBR, which is like 300 books, onto. I'm not doing all that. I'm just gonna wait until fucking Goodreads. Get it together. If you work at Goodreads. Oh my fucking God. Get it together. I'm just gonna wait till you guys update the damn app. I don't give a shit. This episode is sponsored by hungryroot. Hungryroot takes the stress out of mealtime by filling your cart with personalized picks and planning your week of meals. Getting smarter with every order with over 15,000 recipes to choose from each week, many ready in just 15 minutes or less, and a wide grocery selection including smoothies, kids snacks, sweets, salad kits, ready to eat meals and supplements, it's easy to find options that fit your whole family's tastes and nutrition goals. As I may have mentioned before, my diet is tough. I'm low fat, dairy free because of my gallbladder and I try to be gluten free. Trust you don't want to go to a deli with me. All right. Hungryroot can help you eat well and reach your diet or health goals. Just take a quick quiz and their smart cart technology recommends groceries, recipes and supplements tailored to your tastes and needs. It's like having a personal shopper and chef all in one so you can spend less time planning and more time doing what you love. I cook for one and I love Hungryroot because it helps me reduce food waste, avoid impulse grocery buys and ordering last minute restaurant takeout. I also travel a lot so it's convenient for me and I just order what I need. Hungryroot holds all its food to high standards, screening out over 200 additives including high fructose corn syrup, artificial sweeteners and preservatives. They only source high quality meat and seafood with no hormones or antibiotics. They offer organic produce and non GMO options and carry trusted healthy brands like Oatly, Vital Farms, Ithaca Hummus, Harmless Harvest and many more. Their best price program ensures you get great value on over 100 popular products and with my offer, you'll get a free item like a premium protein veggie or sweet treat in every box for life Take advantage of this exclusive offer for a limited time get 40% off your first box. Plus get a free item in every box for Life. Go to hungryroot.com Broski and use code Broski that's hungryroot.com Broski code Broski to get 40% off your first box and a free item of your choice for life. Hungryroot.com Broski Code Broski this episode is sponsored by Galatea. Look, you tell yourself just one more chapter, but it's never really one more, is it? Suddenly it's 2am you're horned up and you need to know how it ends with Galatea's bingeable Can't stop reading romance and new releases every week. Sleep is overrated anyway. Galatea is a reading app where anyone craving a little me time can dive into a library of romance stories that leave you feeling recharged and fulfilled. There's over a thousand bestsellers to choose from shifter romance to bad boy billionaires, Forbidden Love, Slow burn, fantasy teen drama, and much, much more. Galatea is home to original series and standalone stories with an exclusive catalog of best selling authors. With new chapters and series dropping every week, there's always something new to explore. Over 30 million people have fallen in love with reading on Galatea. Join now to indulge in stories that make you feel like yourself again. Right now, Galatea is offering my listeners an extra 20% off on top of an already irresistible, affordable subscription. When you go to galatea.com Broski that's G-A L-A-T-E-A.com Broski to indulge in unlimited stories for even less. Galatea.com Broski okay, Shield of Sparrows. Yeah, I would really recommend it. I love the MMC and the fmc. I love them. The world is interesting, okay? Their continent is shaped like a croissant. And there are some things where I'm like, that doesn't really make sense, but who gives a shit, right? Because he had just boinked her. And that's half the reason that I started this book. Because I wanted to read a boinking, by the way, back to Twilight Edward, knowing that he had that in him and he. Right. Like I just. What a self aware king. Like I'm processing it now. You knew that you had the dick of all dicks. You are king of the dicking, okay? His dick is lethal and I mean that. The dicking is fatal. The dicking has a death toll and you kept that from her to protect her. You don't love her and then when it finally happened, right, she had to go. She had to go sit in the ocean for a second, right? She had to go be alone. That's how good it was. She said, give me a moment. Wow. Okay, let's move on. Oh, this is another point I was going to make. If they. Look, the time is coming. All right? We had this epic cultural boom in like 2013, 14, 15, 16, even into 2017, where it was just hit after hit. We had Divergent, we had Hunger Games, we had. What's the other one? The other one where it's all these like sci fi romance sort of political dramas and. And what are those called? Ya. Okay. I think we're now in a kind of golden era where romantasy is on top and it's just a matter of time before all of these books, these, this IP is sold. It already has been in talks. Wasn't fucking Acotar supposed to go to Hulu and then they canceled it? I don't know. All these, like, it's easy IP to make into a TV show or a movie. We need to start thinking realistically about how I'm going to be cast in one of these shows. And I don't want to be a lead. I want to be a Dobby adjacent character. I need you guys, some of you, if you work at studios, I don't know what the fuck you guys are doing. If you need a goofy little elf character, you know where to find me. That business emails in my bio. Come on. Acotar the surreal. I'm drooling thinking about it. If you need someone to come in and be like your husband, Stay with the high Lord. Stay with the high Lord. I can do that. I can do that for you. Okay, don't even go. Look at me. Don't look at her. Look at me. Don't even think about casting someone else. I can play the elf. Put me in the prosthetics, Shrink me down to three feet. I don't give a fuck. I'm your girl. I'm him. I'm him. I'm the cereal guys. Come on. Every single one of these books has a goofy all little character that needs someone to play it. I will take on the burden if they do a live action adaptation of Let Me Be the surreal play. Please. Let's look up what the surreal looks like for reference. There's the surreal. Okay? Really spindly skeleton, like, wears a hood, emaciated, nasty body. All right, put me. I want to live my Jim Carrey Grinch fantasy. The role Will not be funny. I'm really going to embody it. Okay? But I want to sit in the chair, the makeup chair for six hours. Turn me into the cereal. And then I'm going to make. TikTok is doing bad bitch and she do what I say. So blueberry bagel. I'm gonna. I'm gonna make Tiktoks as the cereal doing. I'm talking about in it. That's what I'm gonna do. That's what I'm gonna do. And they're gonna be like, brittany, you have to post for the TV show. You're in. Done. I have 37 hours worth of content on my phone of me as the serial doing. I be flossing. I be fl. That's what I'm gonna do. Number one, Victory Royale. Yeah. Fortnite. We're about to get down. That's what I'm gonna do. Dressed as a cereal. I don't give a fuck. You guys want content? I'll deliver. Trust. I'll deliver. Okay? This is my destiny. I've done podcast host. I'm interviewing Superman. I'm doing red carpets. What else do you bitches want me to. I have to be the cereal. I have to be Dobby's female love interest in the Dobby spinoff TV show Pre Death. Because if you'll recall, Dobby had died. Oh, my God. So Dobby, his little side arc, his. His love life arc. That's what I see for myself. Right? So when we're talking about this, especially when it comes to. Oh, I would also love to play a dragon. I'm not kidding. I would love to play a dragon. If there's a fourth wing adaptation. Which isn't there, by the way. Isn't. What's his name? The guy. The guy doing Xavier. He's sexy. Fine. Fine. Hold a gun to my head. Yeah, he's sexy. He needs the. What's her name? The little dragon. The runt dragon. The runt of the litter. Aragon. Aragon era. Ara. Who's the tiny dragon from fourth wing? Ariadna. Andarna. Look, I'll do Andarna. You guys need someone to voice Andarna. I don't know who the fuck you have in mind, but you need to scratch that. Scratch it off the page and write in my name. I'll deliver an Oscar award winning performance as Andarna and Darna, the golden little runt dragon. You guys don't know what you're missing. And they'll keep missing until they call my line. Get my agent on the Phone. I have to play a size challenged dragon. But in reality, she's going to save us all. Okay, Surreal she her. Okay, Sarah J. Maas, here's what I'm thinking. We change the surreal to she her thoughts. We give her breasts and a waist. We give her breasts a tiny little waist and some hip curves and we cinch in the. No one wants to waist over 9 inches. The pizza Hut apron that cinches her in. That's what I'm going to do to the Surge. You guys are gonna cast me as a cereal. I saw this TikTok that was like Disney anytime that they need to make an animated animal female and they like inflate the chest and suck in the waist. Like a female rat. A female. This a, you know, whatever. Like a chipmunk with tits and a waist. Hilarious. Do that to the cereal. Great. Here's my reference. Do it to the cereal now. Thank you. We start filming in September. Next on the list, I wrote down. What is huffing glue? What is huffing glue? What is meant by huffing glue? Because here's the thing, right? People talk about huffing glue. What does that really mean? Because you can sniff glue. What type of glue? Because you're not sniffing Elmer's glue. Because I remember it's got a scent, but it's not that strong. Where you could. What type of glue are you smelling? How did you know that that would get you high? Does it actually, is my second question. Third of all, what the fuck? There has to be an easier way to get high. Huffing glue. Okay. It is a dangerous practice. Well, yeah. Particularly prevalent among teens due to easy accessibility of products containing volatile chemicals. The chemicals in these glues and other substances like, like toluene and naphthalene can cause severe and irreversible damage to the brain. All right, well, yeah, seizures, choking, okay. But I want to know what it does. Huffing glue, how to do it, Huffing glue. Why? What does it feel like? What does it feel like to huff glue, y'? All, I'm gonna be so honest. I had three cups of coffee before this and a bowl of yogurt. And my stomach is churning like the open sea. My stomach is churning as, like the ocean crashes against waves. That's the diarrhea hitting my sphincter right now. It's just hitting. It's just this constant. Just the endless push and crash of the ocean against my butthole. And I'm exercising every muscle in my body right now to not have boo boo diarrhea. All in this chair. So just, I need you guys to know what's going on with me as I'm looking up. What does it feel like to huff glue in inholence glues, gases and aerosols? Glue sniffing. Okay, this is on Reddit. I knew a master technician, best damn mechanic at his shop. But he got caught multiple times huffing industrial grade glue he stole from work, squeezed it into plastic grocery bags and hide in the bathroom. Sniffing it to the point. Sorry, this is not funny. Sniffing it to the point that he was glassy eyed and drooling. Dude eventually got fired and later tried to break into the shop and tried to steal the safe. How do you even figure out that that's like something you want to do? Glassy eyed and drooling. What it, what is the benefit of being like that? It's older glue or industrial glue that causes this? Okay, so they probably discovered it by accident. That was probably on some like factory shit, you know, like they're in the factory and they're walking home, knuckles dragging on the ground, drooling, glassy eyed. And then they were like, hold on, hold on. That kind of goes crazy. Don't expect to get high sniffing Elmer's glue or glue sticks. Same with those old big thick permanent markers. Sharpies will not do it for you. I used to work at a place that used gigantic felt tip markers in its shipping warehouse. I'm talking 5 inch long, 2 inch in diameter. The smell was powerful and made your nostrils burn the moment you took the cap off off. When they screwed up shipping orders, I joked that they had a couple of the things sitting around the warehouse as air fresheners. Very interesting. Toluene is the thing. I used to make a ton of plastic models when I was a kid, late 60s, early 70s. I remember when they switched from toluene based stuff to some worthless orange scented crap that barely worked. I ran across four tubes of the good glue in a hardware store a year later and they wouldn't let me buy them. Sad face. I'm worried about you, King. Hey J. Random on Reddit. We're worried about you, my love. Let's, let's get that checked out. All right. See, now I feel, Now I feel enlightened because every time someone was like huffing glue, I did not know if they were, and this is stupid now that I'm about to say it out loud. I didn't know if they were sucking the glue up into their nostril. Maybe it created like a coating around the hairs, I don't know. I'm So I didn't have a sip of alcohol until I was 20. So I don't. I've been held back. I was held back in the life department. You know what I mean? I was way ahead in the academics, not so much in the life. So that's kind of what you get for being told that you're a gifted and talented student. My worth was tied to my academics. Nothing was going to make me sacrifice that. And now look where it's gotten me, okay? I'm talking about being the she, her bbl surreal on a podcast that a lot of people tune into. And I think I've wielded my powers for. For evil. And I'm fine with that. Okay, Huffing glue. The more you know, my next question was, what else can you huff? What are they huffing? What are they Derek huffing? Julian and Derek huffing. Here are my obsessions of the week. All right, we're 49 minutes into this damn episode. Let's get to it. My obsessions of the week. I went to Ulta the other day, and I perused the perfume aisle, as I do, because I have a problem. I have a real addiction and problem. Also, there's beef on the perfume talk community. I'm not in it, but I watch these girls feed fight like it is. And I'm like, why? Right? Because a lot of them are just sales people. They're just. They go live and they do these honestly, like, QVC type. Okay. And we're doing a 10% bundle on all of the. Okay. Also, I am very curious about all of these, like, Arabic fragrance houses, like Lattafa, and then there's some other ones. But my question is, are they just dupe houses or are they, like, really unique blends? Are they original fragrances or are they just, like, you know, their take on this popular fragrance? I don't know. You know how, like, Okja is a dupe house? I don't know. I'm curious, but not curious enough to actually go research it, because whatever. I also have to. I've blind bought before, and I will not be doing it again. That shit is a waste of money. Do not blind buy fragrances. I'm I'm just telling you, okay? I follow someone who I used to love. He makes his own perfume. I bought it, came to my house. I didn't like it. It also smelled just. It was a dupe of Prada paradox, intense. And I was like, I already have that one. I don't really need yours. And yours was significantly more expensive. So don't blind buy fragrances. Also, you can't blind buy samples and small ones. You have to get the big fucking, like four ounce perfume. I'm not gonna use that. I gave it away anyway. I was at Ulta. The diarrhea is churning in my stomach right now, y'. All. Oh, my God. This episode is sponsored by SeatGeek. Guys, it's still live music summer. Everyone needs to go see some live music and remember the simple joys of being alive. Which is why I want to give the sponsor of today's episode, SeatGeek, a huge shout out. With over 28 million downloads, SeatGeek is the number one rated ticketing app. There's more than 70,000 events listed on SeatGeek, including concerts, sports, festivals, and more. Right now you can get tickets to see Beyonce, Coldplay, Shakira, Chris stapleton, Gaga, Tate McCrae, Dua Lipa, Raul, and more. I love using SeatGeek. I'm seeing my Royal Court alumnus Leve later this year and, you know, I already got tickets for me and my girlfriend. Seatgeek has your back. Each ticket is rated on a scale of 1 to 10. So you know you're getting a good deal. So look for the green dots. Green means good, red means bad. Plus, every ticket is backed by their buyer guarantee. And you know I came through for you guys. You can use code BROSKI2025 for 10% off your next set of tickets at SeatGeek. That's 10% off tickets with promo code BROSKI2025. Make sure you click the link in the description to download the app and have that code automatically added to your account so you can use it later. Thanks, seageek. I was at Ulta and I was walking through and I stopped by the Ariana section, right? Because they her fragrances are. I also didn't realize she had so many. I had the original cloud. I still have it, but I used to wear cloud to my horrible insurance job. And so now when I smell it, I think of sitting at my desk and it literally makes my stomach cramp. But the bottle is beautiful, so I'll always keep it. Then I bought REM because it's a very interesting fragrance. Like notes of coconut in it, but it's not coconut in a beachy way. Like, it's a really beautiful, interesting way that they've incorporated these notes. I think I got. Oh, I had the original. Was it sweet like candy? Was that the one in, like 2017? One of the first fragrances she ever did with the little puff bottle. Oh, my God. And bitch, it was in Dillard's and Macy's. I asked for it for Christmas and I got it. And it was the best day of my life because it's the cute little bottle with the puff on it. And I was, ah, way too sweet, though. Like, now I'm 28 years young. My God, if I wore that today, it smells like a fucking middle school locker room. Just like that. Sickly sweet. Can't do it. Okay, so I'm walking through love notes. I tried love notes by Ariana, and she's got this gorgeous, gorgeous cherry fragrance. I tried both of those. Very, very pretty. However, the love notes one, I think has a rose note in it. And I sprayed it on my skin. It sprayed. It smelled great on the little sampling paper. Sprayed it on my skin. Something in my acidic pickle body did not interact well with love notes by Ariana Grande. I'm so sorry to report. I wanted to buy it so bad. In fact, I got the little travel size. I said, hold that for me at the front Queen. They held it for me. I walked around the store with it on my skin. By the end of it, I smelled like a Grillo's pickle jar. I said, I do not want this. I do not want this. And that's just, you know, you always hear it matters, like the ph in your skin, whatever that interacts with the fragrance, positively or negatively. It's true. Okay, I hate to admit it, but it's true. Because that smelled so good. And it would smell beautiful on someone else, but on me, we're doing pickles right now. We're doing pickled jalapenos right now. So I mosey on over to the Kylie section because I was like, let me smell this. They had all the Bella Hadid stuff. They had Kylie. They had Khloe Kardashian's new fragrance, which wasn't really impressive. And I go and I sniff Kylie stuff, y'. All. What I'm about to say might shock the masses. Both of them. The. I forget what they're called. Cosmic. Cosmic 1 and Cosmic 2. Delicious, y'. All. I bought one. Y'. All. The notes are like pear. I was genuinely blown away. Like, I. So I sprayed Ariana on one arm, Cosmic 2.0 by Kylie on the other, and Cosmic 1.0 on. So I was walking around the store smelling it. I love it. Kylie Cosmic 2.0. I try to give each fragrance its own chance. You know what I mean? Like, I try not to cast too much judgment on a fragrance because there are so many minds that come together to create a fragrance. And so I was. I smelled it. I'm addicted. And I don't really. Y' all know me. Like, I go for really androgynous hinoki, patchouli, cedar, like, just woodsy, earthy, usually. But sometimes, you know, you want a really pretty, like, night with the girls. Like that type of fragrance. And usually I wear. I love Prada Paradox, Intense. I also love, you know, Killian and all that Byredo, Vanilla, Antique, all these that are really fun and kind of girly. I also like that one from Sol de Janeiro, the pink bottle. It doesn't last, obviously, because it's a body mist. But right after the shower, you spray it. It's so good. It's just, like, girly and fun, but not too sickly sweet. It's like, it feels like a match. Okay. For where I am in my life, how I want to feel. It's a match. And did you notice how the diarrhea went away? Did you notice how the redness drained from my face because the diarrhea passed? And that's a beautiful feeling. Amen. Hallelujah. The notes on Kylie 2.0. Pear, lavender essence, Amber Accord. Hold on, I want to read them all. Okay, here we go. Top notes, pear Accord and pink pepper essence. I think that's why I like it. It's kind of spicy. Heart notes, vanilla orchid Accord and lavender essence. Base notes, amber and sandalwood, y'. All. I love it. This isn't even an. Like, I'm not getting paid to say this. I went to Ulta and bought this shit and I love it. Who knows? I might be over it in like three weeks. But really, really love. I also got. I finally got Space Cowboy by Urban Decay because that shit's been sold out like the last couple times. Maybe a year ago that I went and tried to buy it. It's always sold out. I found it and they have a new one called something, and it's dark and I think that alone all over the lid, stunning. So I got Space Cowboy. Wow. I'm excited to use it. Wow, wow, wow, wow. I'm excited to use it. Okay, here are a few more things I'm obsessed with this week. A breakfast scramble. Here's what I do for mine. Scrambled eggs, pre cooked turkey sausage. I just cut it up, put it in there. Green onions. I do garlic, salt, pepper, and then some cholula hot sauce. Do all that. Just scramble it, whatever. Plop it on the plate. Delicious, y'. All. Delicious. I love it. Another one is. Oh my God. I am so happy to report to everyone if they don't already know. Bath and Body Works did their first fall drop of the year. I went and went. Pork and beans. And their candles are cheap. I don't know why they're cheap. They just did Christmas in July or some bullshit like that. I don't know. I'm not a. I don't do the coupons and all that winter candy apple. I don't do it. But I love their pumpkin candles. I love that shit. I went and I got probably about six, three wick candles and it was like $100. And I also got some hand soap and my favorite ever, my favorite ever scent from Bath and Body Works is called Sunrise Woods. I don't know what the fucking notes are. I don't know what it is. It is so lovely. It's another like you get right out of the shower and you light a candle and it's just like, I love being a girl. It's like that, okay, Sunrise Woods. And I. It's like always tucked in the back. These bitches discard it. They push it to the side. No more, no longer. I love Sunrise Woods. Every time I see the candle, I get three of them. Because I'm like, I know you bitches are gonna put. You're gonna do away with this and it's gonna piss me off. I love Sunrise Woods. I got some of the wallflowers of it because. Wow. Wow. And you know what else that I do to make my house smell good? Bath Body Works. Sometimes I'm over it, right? They're like so pungent. I get it's Glade brand. It's called Fall, Fall Night Long. And I put them in the little plugins and it's. I just. That's all over my house and it's just the homiest, loveliest smell. You can get it at Walmart. You can get Target, whatever. That's again, not sponsored. This is what I like. This is what I like. That's usually what my house smells like. But man, when I saw they had Sunrise Woods, I booked it. I was so excited. And then last but not least, two more things. I'm really into leopard print right now. I really want a leopard print bag and I want a leopard print dress. That's kind of what I'm. It's on my spirit, it's on my heart. So I'm currently in the market for that. And then K1, dude, I love K1. Five more by K1 is my favorite song. Right now. No. Cinderella, Another favorite. The album's fantastic. Soldier boy up in this hole. Watch me crank and watch me roll. Watch me crank that Soulja Boy. No, Superman. That. Oh. All right, guys, I think that'll do it for me this week. I love you guys so, so much. Thanks for listening as always. If you need merch, if you need a moomoo or slippers, please just go to broski Shop. Stop harassing me. Just go to broski Shop and buy it. We also, I don't know if you guys know this, if you guys are long time, new time listeners. I've got a show called Royal Court where I interview celebrities, most recently David Corn Sweat Fortune Feimster. All right. Yes. We interviewed Aaron Taylor Johnson. Go give that a watch. Go give that a watch. What else do we got for you? I've got links in the description, as always, for charities and organizations that I believe in. And I will see you guys next week. Oh, by the way, this week, this is. I'm filming this Monday. This comes out tomorrow. Y' all, please send me good vibes and good luck. I will be at the hospital once again, because not to go too much into detail, but three. Three months ago, when I had that whatever. The gallbladder saga continues, I had a gallstone stuck in my bile duct. They had to do an ercp, which is they go down your throat, whatever. They had to remove the gallstone. In doing that, it was so big that they found out my g. My bile duct is pinched at the end. So they had to cut it open, put a stent in it, remove the gallstone, and they hit my pancreas. It ended up being a whole thing. But this time they're just removing the stent. It's a relatively simple procedure. It's an outpatient procedure. But I am having that done tomorrow. So wish me luck and hopefully I'll be right back here next week. I'm actually going to pre film two episodes, so. Sorry to ruin the magic, but, yeah, that's where I'll be tomorrow. My mother will be taking care of me, so. Amen. God bless. All right, I love y' all and I'll see you next week. Be good. Bye. What if every student had a tutor and personalized learning was available to everyone? What if every family had a financial guide and their investments made for an optimistic future? What if every doctor could diagnose you in seconds and healthcare visits felt more personal? What if your business never slept and every customer's shopping experience felt like it was designed especially for them? It can with Agentforce, the powerful AI from Salesforce. Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. Now through August 12th. Get great savings on your favorite self care items and earn four times points when you shop in store or online. Shop for items like Neutrogena Cleansing and Makeup removing towelettes, Dove Men 2 in 1 shampoo and conditioner, Dove Shampoo, Tresemme Shampoo Method Body Wash and Swab Body wash and earn 4 times points. Use these points for discounts on groceries or gas. Offer ends August 12th. Restrictions apply. Offers may vary. Visit albertsons or safeway.com for more details. You're great at protecting your own personal information. You probably even use things like two factor authentication, strong passwords and a vpn. But as much as you try to be in control of how your information is protected, there are lots of places that also have it and they might not be as careful as you are. That's why LifeLock monitors millions of data points every second for identity threats. If your identity is stolen, a LifeLock US based restoration specialist will help solve identity theft issues on your behalf, guaranteed or your money back. Plus, all LifeLock plans are backed by the million dollar protection package, meaning LifeLock will reimburse you up to the limits of your plan if you lose money due to identity theft. You might not be able to control how others handle your personal information, but you can help protect it with LifeLock. Save up to 40% your first year. Call 1-800-LIFELOCK and use promo code IHEART or go to lifelock.com iheart for 40% off terms apply.