B (9:20)
And you know what just clicked for me? And I am woman enough to admit this, okay, you know what just clicked for me about two years ago is that they're named after pretty much everything in kind of NASA or space history is named after gods. So. And who the fuck is Earth, by the way? Why? Why do we get a bad one? Why does everyone else get a super sick, like Greek and Roman goddess name? And we get what the fuck is Earth? At least name it Gaia. At least Gaia. Why is Earth not named after a God? Because the name has Germanic roots and simply means ground. Why? You know what? We're going on Reddit. R. Ask historians and I'll get into the thanksgiving of it all. Just gimme a second. This is less a question of history and more a question of etymology, which, you guys know, makes my penis hard. You're asking why Earth is called that in English, as opposed to other planets, which in English are named after Roman gods. For all I know, they're also named after the Roman gods, even in Japanese, but that's not important. What's important is that fundamentally what things are called is dependent on the language you speak. Yeah. Fucking yeah. Earth is a word which comes from English's Germanic ancestors via Middle and Old English. In the past, it, like the Roman terra, T E R R A was a personification or deity of sorts. But Middle English, erb, Erb already meant the planet Earth, especially when translating the Latin word terra, which also makes sense because in Spanish it's tierra. And we have the recognition of the Earth as a planet that is not simply as some flat plane beneath our feet. So this word is very old, older than the Latin influence on the English language. And because talking about the Earth in the sense of the ground is a very everyday thing, it is difficult for this word to be displaced by loan words. Difficult but not impossible if you want to keep it within the fucking unity and the fucking. What's it called? The uni. The unique. When something's unilateral. Uni. Uni. Unan. You fuck. You unanimous? Fully in agreement? No, not unanimous. I guess unified. I guess uni. Come on, guys, give me the word that I'm looking for. I wish I had a live studio audience so I could be like, what's the. But the front row in my live shows, in my head, are all going to Be like etymology experts, historians, scientists, physicists. And each of them is going to have a mic. And as I'm talking, I can be like, what's the. Yeah, yeah, thank you. And then I'm going to shut off their mic. I'm going to have a huge switchboard. Like I'm a producer in a music studio and I'm going to flick on their mic and turn the volume up. And if they're talking for too long, I'm just going to mute it. Okay. Or if they start rambling, hey, mute. Give me the short answer. I don't need to know all the fluff. If you are a scientist or an expert, just give me the answer that I'm looking for. I also need. I feel like. Okay, I feel like we need to bring back Quora. I don't know if Quora went anywhere. We need to bring back Quora. We need to bring back Yahoo. Answers. Do you know how much of my understanding of human life and the eccentricities and the complexities of human life come from Yahoo. Answers? Why do spider have puss? Puss. Do spider have puss? Puss. Remember that? Do spider have puss? Puss. It's the first one. Does spider have puss? Puss. I think that was a famous. It was on Yahoo. Answers. So what I'm gathering is that Earth does not have a Roman God name because Earth and our familiarity with planet Earth predates our discovery of other planets, Right? Is that correct? My assumption. If that were the case, though, if that were the case, then upon discovering other planets, why would we not change the name of our planet? I mean, I guess I understand why we wouldn't, but at the same time. Come on, ask him again. Mikey, remember that video? This video? What do you want? Where's Mikey? He's asleep. 70 for a guy you guys don't want to. Dude, I'll come back at poor, don't it. I don't want to make a scene. There's. If there's a cop over there. Well, leave. If there's a cop, leave. Dude, hook me up. I don't want to make a scene. Well, you already made a big ass scene. 70 for a dime is a deal. I'll be back at 4 to pick it up. He doesn't want to. Dude, tell him. Barney told him. Tell him again. Said no. Well, make them say yes. He said no. We'll make him say yes. Okay. That's a video that stuck with me in a crazy way for some reason. I don't know why. Mikey. Well, tell him Again, okay. On the other hand, the planets and other bits of science were discussed in Latin all over Europe, intended not to be discussed by the common man who didn't care so much about why some lights in the night sky moved from night to night and some didn't. This, I think, already answers the question. But there's something else that I've hinted at that also bears making explicit. Girl, fuck whoever wrote this on fucking Reddit, you dumbass. You smartass. Like, relax. But something else that I may be hinting at. If you're smart enough to catch my dream. Shut the fuck up and just answer the question. You're pissing me off. And another Easter egg for you mere mortals pissing me off. Fucking nerd. Me looking this up. Fucking nerd. Okay, but there's something else that I've hinted at that also bears making explicit. We today recognize that the Earth and the other planets are different kinds of the same thing. But to a human observer, this is not in the least bit apparent. They look totally different. Since the names of the Earth and some of the planets have been cooking in our languages since before anybody realized the. Even though the Earth looks like a flat surface with the grass and soil and trees and people, and Venus looks like a tiny speck of light, they're actually the same kind of thing. We should not expect their names to reflect their similar nature, but rather perhaps their different appearances. Girl, shut the fuck up. Because each one, I mean, I guess, actually, I guess because isn't Uranus the water one or Neptune? Neptune's the water one, and we named it Neptune because he was like the God of water. They're named after Roman gods, actually. Right. And Neptune because Poseidon is the Greek God. Neptune versus Poseidon. Poseidon is Greek. Neptune is his Roman equivalent. Yeah, I friggin know it, bro. He's basically like sexy Santa. He's basically like sexy Jesus Santa, Sam. Oh, now we're getting into the freaking nerd off. Someone responded under it and said at the point your quote was written. And the quote is, and we have the recognition of the Earth as a planet that is not simply as some flat plane beneath our feet. The Earth would have been recognized as spherical, but not as the same sort of thing as a planet. In pre Copernican cosmology, the Earth was known to be spherical, but was seen as fixed and immobile, while the planets, sun, moon and stars orbited in the heavens and followed quite different rules of physics than things here on Earth. But this just furthers your point, as the Earth wasn't widely seen as in the same category as the other planets until at least the 16 to 1700s. Whoa. Just FYI, this is another guy who responded. Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter and Saturn are named after the traditional East Asian or Chinese five elements. Uranus, Neptune and Pluto are cribbed from the west, so they are named after Roman gods. Same in Chinese. Whoa. Here's some examples from Chinese. Mercury is literally translated water star. This is crazy. Venus is literally translated gold star, or more generally metal star. Earth as a planet, not as in soil is literally translated ground sphere. It's kind of a rougher translation. Mars is fire star, which I think is nicely appropriate given its red hue. Jupiter, wooden star, keeping with the elemental theme. Saturn is earth star or rock star. Kind of funny to me, but still poetic and keeps within the theme. This is nuts. Uranus is literally sky king star pronounced and forgive me Tianwen jing, but it doesn't sound at all like Uranus. It is a translation of the meaning. Uranus was a God of the sky in Roman mythology. Just means. So the character just means star or planet. So it's Uranus, the sky king's planet. Neptune. Okay, that's t. The Uranus is like the one. Neptune is similar literally. Ocean king star pronounced Haiwang jing. Again, this conveys the meaning of who Neptune is the ruler of the sea, not the pronunciation of his name. Wow. Old Norse. Venus was apparently known as what bro Frig free. But there is a problem because that means frig star and Frigg was a goddess associated with Venus. What it is. Through this connection we get Friday, which in Latin was Dies veneris Venus Day. So I don't know if this is just the same transplanting of a Latin concept into Old Norse. Now, it's pretty unlikely that there were many ancient civilizations of around that time that didn't have a name for Venus, because Venus is such an obvious feature of the night sky. In English, we still call it the evening star and morning star. And. And I would imagine that the designation also existed in other languages. I could read this for literally hours. I'm actually bookmarking this. I'm going to read this later. Okay, let's move on to the. The. The. The Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving. So we all know my lineup of Thanksgiving guests from last year, and we can go ahead and refresh everyone's collective memory. At the head of the table next to me was actually Paul Mescal and Andrew Scott. Not that they're not invited this year, but they'll be at the kids table you know what I mean? Like, let's move them to the kids table. Next we had Anthony Bourdain and Stanley Tucci across from each other because I needed them to discuss some things. Then we had. I forgot, we had Dreamscape ASMR across from Michelle Visage. Then we had Kai Snat and Drew Ski. Then we also had Chapel Rowan and TS Madison. Okay. It was kind of a stacked. It was going to be a very loud table, which of course me at the head directing the flow of traffic. Right. And also picking the topics to discuss. This year is a bit different. It's a bit different. So I'm going to just go ahead and jump right into it because I've been. I've been doing some thinking, and this year there's some, like, there are some conversations that I'd like to have with some of these guests that will be more spur of the moment, but I know that our conversation really could lead somewhere great. And all of us this year are going to be miked as well. We're all going to have one of those little lapel mics and then we're going to. It's more of a wandering thing. Like, yes, we'll gather at the table, we'll eat, we'll do the thing, whatever. We'll pray. Yes, we'll all sit together and we'll pray. And then at the end, everyone kind of disperses. And I'm seeing this in like a New York City apartment. Like a cute one. Like a. Like a three bedroom. Okay. Kind of spacious. And we'll have a big, long dining table. And then there will be like a patio and, like, places to go. There's a few different bathrooms because, you know, that's some of the best times is when you're a little drunk and you go to the bathroom with your girls and you stay in there for two hours and the people are in the hallway like, I need to piss. And you're like, let's say it. Because you're having the most intense, beautiful conversation you've ever had in your life. Like in some random stranger's bathroom. Well, not some random stranger's. It's your friend. Hey, y'. All. It is officially the holiday season here in Broski Nation. It's time to sleep in your childhood bed, bicker with your siblings, and show the people you love, you really love them. If you struggle to find gifts for the people in your life, look no further. I am an Etsy girl, okay? I've talked about Etsy for literally years at this point. So this is kind of a dream partnership for me. I'm trying not to freak out. I don't think there's a better feeling than feeling seen. And what I love to do through gift giving is to show the people in your life that you hear them, you see them, and you understand them. The best way to do that is through thoughtful gift giving. If you suck at it, no worries. I'm here to help you. Okay. I find the best niche stuff on Etsy and now I've got some pretty unique friends. Trixie Mattel, I'm looking at you. So where should I shop for these freak weirdos? Etsy.com so I want to show y' all some things that I found on Etsy that can serve as like some creative thought starters. Maybe like a gift guide. And remember, it's not about the money spent. It's about making the people in your life feel seen and loved. Okay? And by the way, you can shop my collection of original holiday gifts on Etsy.com Broski Report. There's a few different sections on there for maybe the medievally inclined, for the book lovers, for the spooky people, for the fashion people. Go check it out. First item up, this medieval weekly planner. This is from the Creeping Moon, the name of the store on Etsy. This is so cute. It's got a little dragon on it breathing fire. It says the week. It's got a to do list, little notes. I just thought this is adorable. Going to give this to somebody, maybe my writers on Royal Court. Also speaking of my writers on Royal Court, they're weird. They're also twins and I love them deeply. So I am thinking about getting them these leather handcrafted like pasta keyrings. How cute are these? One's a ravioli and one is a little bow tie pasta. And these are from Mello Mello. I found these are so freaking cute and I'm. They'll love them. And in the order I got these cute little postcards. So freaking cute. And Melo wrote me a note. I hope you love your new pasta keychain, Britney. I added an extra one for you to gift to a pal. Thanks. Next. Look how adorable this is. Socks. And these are gloves. Trisha Martell, these might be coming to you. These are from Tonko. I'm addicted. Look at these. These gloves first of all, like the fit you can pull with this and this. Maybe with like a ballet slipper. Oh wow. I saw these and I had to get them. So cute. Okay, this next one is for maybe the iced coffee. Enjoyers in your life, do you ever have someone that just always has a drink that's sweating and condensating on everything and it makes rings on the table? Look no further than these cookie coasters. Are you out of your mind? They're so cute. This one is like sprinkle frosted cookie, snickerdoodle pink frosted cookie. And then this. I think this is like a dulce de leche. Wow. I saw these and I said, yeah, immediately. And I might steal one, to be honest. I might give probably Stanley. I'll give Stanley three of these, and I'm gonna keep one for myself. These are from Ibis Crown on Etsy. And I did actually go ahead and purchase two things for myself for Christmas because I saw them and I wanted them. Look at how cute these freaking tarot cards are, dude. Show them. Put them on the screen. Look at these. They're beautiful. They are so beautiful. I'm so excited to get these. And I also got this silly painting of a duck. What? He's got a crown on. He's so cute. I'm gonna put him in the Royal Court Studio. I saw this and I was like, yeah, immediately. And it's so tiny. I'm going to get one. And I might get one for the writers and for Stanley as well. We'll see. So hear me out. No matter who you're shopping for, it's easy to find something that's personal, original and special on Etsy. Everything on Etsy feels one of a kind, which is perfect because I'm shopping for one of a kind, unique people, myself included. And my favorite part is you're supporting small shops and real people with each purchase, and that makes the gift from feel extra special. So it is my honor and privilege to say, shop my etsy collection@etsy.com BroskyReport I love you, Etsy. Thank you for sponsoring my podcast. And happy Holidays. Truly. Okay, so let's get into the list. Number one, my first guest. Oh, my God. Relax. My first guest is going to be Calcifer from Howl's Moving Castle. Okay, put him up here. This is Calcifer. Calcifer is, I believe, a demon spirit that keeps the moving castle alive. He's also, like, he's Howl's heart. Okay. Calcifer just felt like fucking tea to me because in the dubbed version, he's voiced by Billy Crystal, AKA Mike Wazowski. Okay. There's something very. I feel like if my spirit had a narration or if my spirit had a character voice would probably be voiced by Billy Crystal or Josh Gad or a combination of the two. Just like, corked up. White guy. Older. Older white guy. And I just feel like I was watching Howl's Moving Castle and every time Kalispur came back on the screen, I was like, thank God, because he's so funny and so cute and I think I need a caliph tattoo. And I was like, yeah, you know what? You're invited. Because I feel like he would get the jokes going if someone. If people started fighting, people started bickering and. No. And I told you. Laughter. You said that fucking bullshit to me. You said that bullshit to me. Callistor would go, wow. Whoa, whoa. Enough with the yelling. Right? Like, he'd do that also. He voiced Hades. Did he not? Hades, Hercules voice actor? Yeah, it was James Woods. I'm humiliated. I'm fucking humiliated. Oh, I actually know about James woods because he. They're a similar font of dude, okay? But James Woods. Something happened with the budget for Hercules and they, like, the. The movie was about to get scrapped or something like that, and they couldn't pay him his full fee or something like. Or it ended up taking too long, something like that. And. And he did a bunch of work for free because he loved voicing this character, which I love, right? Because, like, Hercules is such a cult classic and it's one of my favorite movies. So, like, thank you, James Woods. Okay. Caler, he's number one. I really feel like he would have a good time once you get a few drinks in him. Like, relax a little bit. You know, calm down, wind down. Across from Calcifer is going to be Grace Reader. Redder grace reader. Like OG TikTok grace reader. She's having her renaissance right now. It's a Grace Reader fall. It's a Grace Reader winter. And I just think she is one of the funniest fucking people alive. I need her there. I need her there. And I feel like. And Grace, I hate to ask this of you, but I need you to perform. I need you. I know you have some back pocket characters. Let's just. I'm going to have a little mini stage built. We can get up there and do some improv together. I would really like to see how you interact with some of my other guests that I'll be inviting to Thanksgiving. So Grace definitely will get you up there. She is just a gift. She's a fucking gift. Next, probably right next to Grace, I will be seating Mia Goth, because I need them to talk. Just talk it out. I need y' all to just talk it out. Mia Goth, also, to me, I just feel like I need to get really wine drunk with her. Like a nice white wine. And she is someone that towards the end of the night, her and I will peel off and go to the patio, go to the corner of some room, and I feel like I just need her to listen to me. Like, she is such an active listener. I just need to talk and I need her to be like, yes, absolutely, absolutely. She is so sweet. I just feel like she has such a sweet energy and I really just need to talk to her. Okay. But not in like a hi, how are you? In, like a very deep woman to woman. Like, connecting brain tissue way. Like, I just need to talk to Mia Goth. So she's coming to Thanksgiving, and I'm gonna have the white wine on tap and we're gonna just discuss some things. Okay. Obviously, next to Mia Goth, I probably will put Jacob Elordi, just because I know she feels very maternal towards him and I know they have a very special relationship. Jacob, you don't have to speak. I would never put that pressure on you. But I. Look, Jacob Elordi is kind of silly, okay? He's kind of like a fucking goofball because why are you that tall, first of all? And second of all, if you're that tall, you gotta be a little goofy because. What are you doing up there? Hey, what the fuck are you doing up there? You're scaring the children. Sit down. Sit down and eat the sweet potato casserole. Okay? And he can start. You just need to warm him up. I feel like we can book club. Okay. Me and Jacob are going to go off in the corner after a while. We're going to book club. Jacob, I need you to read Acotar. And then after that, I need you to read Secret History. And then after that, I need you to read Angels and Demons by Dan Brown. And we're all going to. We'll just book club. And you know what? I can't stand. And this has nothing to do with Jacob. Lordy. Okay, I'm moving on from Jacob Lordy. Bitches who only read nonfiction. Where's the whimsy? I get it. Nonfiction is very, very, very important, okay? And that is. Honestly. Actually, no, I'm gonna change my. My tune on this for a second. I was gonna say nonfiction's actually how you kind of see the world a bit better or maybe develop empathy a bit better. But I. I take that statement back because I think the same can be accomplished through fiction. Maybe sometimes even more. I don't Know, it depends. This is a very subjective conversation. But fantasy and just like fiction, books in general are so important to help you expand your imagination, to help you expand what you see when you look at the world. And while nonfiction is obviously so important, I would argue fiction is equally as important. Okay, so, Jacob Elordi, I need you to come prepped for the book club I will be hosting on Thanksgiving. Thank you so much. Probably next to Jacob Elordi will be Toothless from How to Train youn Dragon. Toothless is a great vibe. I feel like once he's comfortable, you have to kind of butter him up with fish, whatever the he's eating. And once he's tame and calm, sit him next to Jacob. Lordy. And I feel like they'd get along really, really well because Jacob already kind of has this hiccup energy. He's got a little bit of hiccup in him. Okay, so put them two next to each other. They're going to be fast friends. And Toothless, also, to me, I'm, like, not too much on Toothless because I love him. Don't be mean to him. Don't feed him things that will upset his tummy. Like, it's going to be size inclusive. I'm going to have a seat that fits him. Like, y', all, please be kind to Toothless, because this is his first Thanksgiving. So he's a little nervous. He's a little nervous. Okay, so Jacob Lordy and Toothless next to each other on the other side of the table. This is kind of going to be like, it's going to be a long seat. Because you guessed it, it's the Bronte sisters. It's the Bronte sisters. Like I said, I am currently reading Wuthering Heights. Jane Eyre is something we had to read in school, and I will be reading it again because that book is fucking tea. The three that I was talking about are Jane Eyre, Wuthering Heights, and then the Tenant of Wildfell hall and also Agnes Grey. I need to read Agnes Grey and the Tenant of Wildfell Hall. However, all of the Bronte sisters are invited. Sit your ass down. And you know, they're going to be kind of out of touch just because, hey, it's 2025. A lot has changed since y' all had fucking died. So sit down. I'm going to put them. Like I said, I'm going to put them across from Jacob Elordi and Mia Goth. Because they have such a sweet energy. I feel like they could really coddle the Bronte sisters into bringing them into the modern age, because Jacob and Mia kind of have this. This old soul quality. So I'm gonna let y' all key. I'm gonna let y' all Kiki down there kind of towards the end of the table, because I'm gonna be busy up top with Calcifer and Grace. We're gonna be cutting up. We're gonna be laughing. Okay? So I'm gonna leave y' all at kind of towards the end of the table, and I'll come do my rounds in a second. I'll come talk to you. Okay. Further down the table. Welcome back. This year, Drew Ski. Drew Ski is invited to my Thanksgiving yet again. He's going to be down there right next to the Bronte sisters, and I'm just going to let them go. I'm going to let y' all go. Just talk. Find something. Okay? Just talk, and I'll come meet you in a second. Right next to Drew, see, is going to be Zara Larson. Let me tell you something about Zara Larson. First of all, I am addicted to her TikTok. I watch her TikTok every night before I go to bed. She does these, like, snack reviews where she'll get high and, like, review snacks. And I watch that like it's the fucking evening news. Like, I watch that. And she's so cute, and she is so. Goes without saying, but I will say it because it deserves to be said. Her level of craftsmanship, her level of vocal control, rhythm, like, dance skill, live performance ability, she is a fucking machine. And I am guilty of this, okay? I slept on her. I'll say it. I slept on her. Zora Larson's been in the motherfucking game for a decade. And just now I'm like, oh, she might be that bitch. I mean, she's always kind of been that bitch, but, like. And she made this TikTok the other day where she was like, I've been doing this job for a long time, but I feel like for the first time, my career is starting. I think she's opening for Tate McCrae right now on tour. And she's like. Like, I see more videos of her than I do Tate, and it's just. She is nuts. She's nuts. And it's also you. Y' all know, I. I appreciate someone who studied at the Beyonce Academy, okay? Chloe and Halle Dochi, Zara Larson, all these people where it's like, I know this. This flavor of dedication, okay? It is the Beyonce, Gisele Knowles Carter school of dance and song. And I know it well, I'm very familiar with it. And so watching her perform, I'm like, yes, give us 120% every night. Yeah. And then on top of that, she's like, chill. She's a chiller. I'm addicted to her. I don't know. Zara Larson, please hit me up. We have to hang out. We have to. Zara, you're coming to Thanksgiving. We have things to talk about. Okay? She's gonna be next to Drew Ski at the end of the table. And this is a pairing that is important to me. Okay? This is a pairing that's very important to me. Guillermo del Toro. Grian Chattan. Okay. Guillermo del Toro, world famous director, the monster king of a generation. One of the most forward thinking and intelligent. And this is my opinion. This is my opinion. One of my favorite directors of all time. Okay. Guillermo del Toro, very. And he's also so, like, being a Mexican director who has such a lens. I mean, he said in all of his movies, he's always like, it just has a Mexican lens on everything that he creates, because how could it not? And it's so beautiful to watch. Frankenstein is a Mexican movie. I mean, he's talked about this in interviews, you know, like, his interpretation of it, his process and bringing it to life. He has just said, like, it is Mexican through and through. Like. Like, what makes this a Guillermo del Toro film. It's Mexican. And I just. I just love him. He's going to be at the end of the table, across from Grian Chattan of Fontaine's dc. They could go back and forth with just the most pretentious blubbering you've ever heard. And I'm hanging on every fucking word of it. Bitch, I don't care, okay? Because I put them at the very end so that when I get up and I do my rounds, I can go sit right next to them. And it's going to be something similar to last year where when I put Anthony Bourdain and Stanley Tucci across from each other and I don't say anything. Okay? Last year I didn't say a word. This year, I'm going to be at the other opposite end of the table. It's going to be a long, like. What are those called? Like, banquet tables. I'm going to be at the other end and I'm just going to say, y' all talk. But I also see myself more as, like, a moderator. So if Green starts talking about something, I'm going to say, I'm going to stop you there. Guillermo, what is your reaction to the point he just made. And then Guillermo, you know, he can. And then I'll say, okay, I'll raise y' all one better. And then I'll introduce a new topic of discussion, and it's going to be just ongoing, ongoing, ongoing. Okay. And I just feel like that to me when you talk about, you know, who would be your ideal dinner guest. Like, general, this is the table. And it'll be different next year. Okay. But for right now, it's actually going to be Calcifer, Grace, Mia, Jacob, Toothless, the Bronte sisters. Drew Skis are Larson, Guillermo del Toro, and Grian. Hope y' all are okay with that. It's a good blend. It's a good mixture of everything. So Grian Chattan, to me is the one that I would be the most nervous about, right? Because I'm like, I want you to be comfortable. There is a live dragon here, and there's also a demon spirit, Calcifer, towards the end of the table. I want you to be comfortable, Grian, so let me know if there's anything I can do to make it a bit more comfortable for you. But he, he would be one where I'm like, if I see him leaving early, that'll. That would hurt my feelings. You know what I mean? Like, I would. I would actually be really sad and I'd have to be comforted if Grian left my Thanksgiving. This episode is sponsored by Galatea. Between work, errands and whatever the group chat's spiraling about today, life rarely slows down. But you don't need to wait for the perfect moment to arise. Romance is ready when you are. 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That's a U R A frames.com promo code Broski this exclusive Black Friday Cyber Monday deal is their best of the year, so order now before it ends. Support the show by mentioning me at checkout. Terms and conditions apply. Shop my Etsy collection of original holiday gifts that will make your loved ones feel seen this holiday season. No matter who you're shopping for, it's easy to find something that feels personal, original and special. Everything on Etsy feels one of a kind, just like the people I'm shopping for. The best part? You're supporting small shops and real people with every order that makes the gift feel extra special. I found some personalized jewelry for my girlfriends and some handmade ornaments and decorations for my parents this year. I love supporting people who still value the charm of handmade items. For gifts that say I get you, shop Etsy and shop my etsy collection@etsy.com BroskyReport Here are some potential discussion topics that I think we could all you know When I toss it to the table, I want to know from each person what is the highest you've ever been. Like, do you have a weed nightmare story? Because I definitely do. And mine is. Mine is one time I took a little bit too much of an edible and I don't know what the fuck happened, but we went to Korean barbecue and we were in this I was like 23, and we were in Koreatown, and we went into this restaurant and it was so fucking hot inside. And, you know, it's like the open, like, where you cook your own, like, Korean barbecue. And the smell. You have to be in the right mindset, I feel like, to go into a Korean barbecue. And I was not. I was not. The smells are so intense. I was very nauseous even before we got there. And we went inside and it was so fucking hot and stuffy that I literally was like, I'm going to have a panic attack. I ran outside and I found a trash can and I vomited. I vomited. And I was like, I didn't know that weed could do that to you. Like, that was the first time I realized. I was like, ah, this shit's fucking with me. This shit's fucking with my brain cells. And then I vomited. And it was immediate. I felt 100% better. I went back inside and I said, where's the bulgogi? Where's the bulgogi? Right? Where's the fucking bulgogi? Because I just had to vomit. Sometimes you just have to puke. Sometimes you have to be sick on the fucking floor. And then you go back in and you lock in and you eat the bulgogi. And that's fine. That was probably the highest I've ever been. And it was bad, okay? Like, you know that feeling of, like, verge of a panic attack. I had been that way for, like, 45 minutes, and I was like, end this. Finish him. Like, have the panic attack so I can move on. Like, I was getting frustrated with myself. Just fucking freak out or don't freak out. Like, this weird purgatory in between is horrible, horrific. So you just have to puke and then have bulgogi. And I figured out that that's kind of the remedy. So I would toss that question to everyone at the table. Okay. Then I would move on to something a bit more inflammatory. I would say, in yalls opinion, what is the best city in the world? Right? Because people have a lot. People have very hot opinions on this question. I have found. What's the best city in the world? Where's your favorite place in the world? And while I invite sentimental answers like, oh, my grandma's house. Boring. Where's your favorite place? Okay. Is it Medieval Times? Is it the Renfest? Is it Disney? Is it Korean barbecue? I want to know where is your favorite place in the world? And for each of these people I've invited, I feel like Their answer would be so specific. Also, your answer to this question is deeply reflective of who you are as a person. It's a great question. You know, another question that my dear friend Caleb Herron had asked me one time is, five years from now, what is your ideal perfect day? Where do you see yourself? What are you doing? How do you wake up? How do you go to bed? And what's in between? Who are you with? Right. What's the weather like? Literally, paint everything for me. And I think about that question almost every day. So I would. I would toss that to everyone. Okay. And then also, let's talk about food for a second, because I want to see a really nice spread. I. This is something where I would expect people to, like, I'm not cooking everything for you bitches. Y' all need to bring something. I'll do the mains. You know, I'll get the Popeyes turkey. I will make the mashed potatoes. I might even do a green bean casserole. That's kind of the extent each of you needs to bring your own thing. And I. We would have a great kind of spread here between the Bronte sisters. They would bring something really fucking nasty, I feel like. Because, like, what were y' all even eating back then? Like. Like, what were you eating? Because British people love to call something pudding. They love to call some bullshit pudding when that is not pudding. And I know that it colloquially. It's different. I fucking know. I know. But pudding oftentimes is something very gelatinous to British people, and I'm not really rocking with that. So if you. And by you, because, I mean the Bronte sisters, if y' all bring some gelatinous fuckery to my Thanksgiving, you're eating on the patio, because I don't want to see that. Okay. Bring something normal at least, like a nasty Victorian sponge cake or something. You know what I mean? Actually, sponge cakes are pretty good, but, like a nasty cake, like a fruitcake or something. Sure. Bring that. Okay. And it'll sit on the dessert table. No one will touch it, but thank you for bringing it. I feel like the range of dishes that would come from these guests would be really, really great. So I tasked them with that. I do want to see a sweet potato casserole, and it's the sweet potato casserole with the marshmallows on top. Don't piss me off. That's what I want. So if you bring some nasty. Like, it's not even sweet potato casserole. I've seen. What do they call it? Instead, sweet potatoes or candied yams. I do love candied yams, but sometimes they don't put enough sugar. And it's literally just plain sweet potato candied yams. And you're pissing me off. At least put some brown sugar, put some maple syrup, put some butter, for the love of Christ. Okay? Like, I want that to almost be a dessert. It's so rich and sweet. Because sweet potatoes are naturally very sweet. Okay, Just beef it up. I follow this girl on TikTok named Allison. I wish I knew her last name. She does. Like, she's another, like, Alyssa's magic. She does snack plates, and they are so period. And she just eats very simply and very. Like, today I'm having a Japanese sweet potato, some radish. She loves, like, anchovies, so she'll do that. She'll do, like, spicy tuna. And then she'll do, like, an egg. She'll just pan fry an egg, some green onion, and, like, some chili oil, and she'll lay it all out on a plate, and she'll be like, this is my lunch for today. And it is so simple, but it looks so good how she prepares it. And she always eats these perfectly sized Japanese sweet potatoes, and I don't know where to buy them, and I think about them all the time. And she cooks them to perfection. And then she'll literally take it and she'll, like, bite the top off, and then she'll put, like, kimchi, some chili oil, a little bit of maybe, like, anchovy, and then she'll take a bite of it with all the shit on top of the potato and then take a bite of green onion. And it looks so good. It looks so good. I think about it all the time. And she makes her own plates, and so on the plate, she'll be like, this is the plate for today. It says Allison on the back. She's so cute. I love girls. I love being a woman. Okay. Awesome stain on my sweatshirt. Sick. Okay, let's move on to something else. Okay. We were talking about what the Bronte sisters would bring to Thanksgiving. And it got me thinking, because I know, and I don't mean to call out the Midwest yet again, but honest question, what are you guys eating? What are you guys eating? Sometimes. And I don't. This isn't even about the Midwest, but I saw some of this shit because I looked up weird Thanksgiving food from history. I'm reading some of this, and I'm like, yeah, it's either like, this is so 1950s, or some person in The Midwest still eats this. So if there's any broski nation soldiers in the Midwest. Can you confirm yes or no? You know what this is? What is strawberry pretzel salad? And what is ambrosia salad? Ambrosia salad is so popular in the South. Oh, I'm humiliated. Oh, the amalgamation of fruit and marshmallows. What? Oklahoma's weirdest Thanksgiving food. Girl, what is that? I know that there is some weird. Actually, we're gonna Google this. I know there's some weird historical reason for why things were put into jello. Why things were put into gelatin. Was it to, like, keep it better? Because I don't understand how putting meat in jello keeps it better. Like, meat's gonna go bad regardless. Why did people used to cook things in gelatin? Jello salad History the rise and fall of an American icon. This is from seriouseats.com History of Jell O Salad. Few foods can tell us more about life in 20th century America than the wobbling jewel of domestic achievement, the Jell O Salad. While Jell O products are still very popular as snacks and desserts, the Jell O salad, particularly in its savory forms, had fallen from culinary favor by the early 80s. Though you'll still find it in church basements across America today, you're just as likely to see Jell O Salads on blogs like the Gallery of Regrettable Food. What makes the Jell O Salad such an icon of its time, shaped by the rise of home economics and the industrialization of the food System, World War II, and changing expectations about women's labor? Few foods can tell us more about life in 20th century America than the wobbling jewel of domestic achievement, the Jello salad. This is exactly. Can I just say, there is such a good feeling. And when you Google something and you find exactly what you were looking for, like, this is exactly the, like, detailed answer that I was looking for. What's the historical context? Like, what was the economic context? Even something as. I'm so glad they mentioned it. Like, gender roles of the time. All of that goes into what makes a culinary, like, historical specimen. What paved the road to how we got there and how we look at it so differently today. Like, we can look at this and be like, fucking ew. But at the time, I bet it was like, whoa. Gelatin dishes as we know them date all the way back to medieval Europe. What, from that period up until the mid 19th century? So, like, 1850s jellied dishes were foods of the elite, served as elaborate molded centerpieces. On the tables of nobility. The reason was simple. The process of rendering collagen from animal bones and then clarifying it was exceptionally time consuming, even by the slower paced standards of the day. It was not for the faint hearted, explains Lynn Belluccio, executive director of the LeRoy Historical Society, which operates the Jello Gallery Museum Period London Cookbook author Hannah Glass described the procedure in 1747 I'm not reading all that. That's actually gonna make me take out the great bones of four calves feet and put the feet into a pot with 10 quarts of water. I'm not reading that. That's actually gonna make me both Comment Few home cooks bothered with such labor intensive dishes. Gelatin indicated to dinner guests that you had a kitchen staff large and well appointed enough to spare the hours. T It all comes down to fucking classism, doesn't it? Everything is a display of wealth. Everything is a display of the elite. This remained the case in the American colonies, where elites adapted European customs to their own tastes. Gelatin dishes were a delicacy in New York high society, where the size of one's household staff was a status symbol, and on the plantations of the south where enslaved cooks labored in the kitchens at Thomas Jefferson's estate. Monticello. Monticello wine jelly was often served to guests, Jefferson's time in France having influenced his tastes. Crazy under the Sea salad, lime, jello salt, pear halves, cream cheese, boiling water, lemon juice and ginger. Bruh. Okay. In the mid 19th century, the industrial revolution was beginning to transform the US economy. Railways were on the rise and so was factory production. Both brought radical changes to American food systems. By 1897, when a cough syrup maker patented the brand name Jell O, the processed food industry was thriving. 1897. Crazy. I always thought like in the forties or actually the fifties is when like microplastics or single use anything started to really take hold of the American populace. Like thinking about them starting this horrific trend of single use plastic and whatever in even as far as the 1890s. I mean, this isn't single use plastic, but something like processed food. I don't know, it's crazy. The timing couldn't have been better. Jell O tapped into one of the biggest culinary currents of the domestic science. Also known as home economics, this spirit of domestic reform embraced efficiency, purity, cleanliness and order. Jellied salads, unlike tossed ones, were mess free, never transgressing the border of the plates. What the fuck? Ew. Thinking about jello is gonna make me vomit. Actually, instant gelatin fit the bill. It was fast. Unlike the traditional method of making gelatin, it was economical. A housewife could stretch her family's leftovers by encasing them in gelatin. And since sugar was already included in the flavored mixes, the new packaged gelatins didn't require cooks to use up their household stores of sugar. Whoa. It was also neat and tidy, a quality much valued by the domestic science movement as well as by its Victorian forebears who were mad for molded foods of all kinds. Jellied salads, unlike tossed ones, were mess free, never transgressing the border of the plate. A salad at last in control of itself. Cooks in this era molded everything from cooked spinach to chicken salad with care to avoid the cardinal sin of messiness. What the fuck? Oh, now this is fucking tea. Because how many times have we mentioned the Jungle by Sinclair, Upton Sinclair on this podcast? I feel like I've talked about it plenty of times and I've never read it. But that had to do with like, food safety and with like, how quickly disease can spread or how quickly bacteria can spread. The 1906 Pure Food and Drug act passed after Upton Sinclair's muck wracking classic. Muck raking classic. The Jungle scandalized the nation, regulated product labels, and created the bureau that would eventually become today's Food and Drug Administration. Yeah, but fuck the fda. What does the FDA even do? The FDA is, is might as well not even exist because the shit that's available on the public market, okay. Companies began marketing their processed and industrial foods under brand names designed to convince customers of their safety and purity. Boom. Shopping for dry goods by the pound at the general store was old fashioned. Food brands were the way of the future. Jell O's marketing emphasized that it was the brand you could trust. By 1902, Jell O sales were beginning to soar. This is crazy. After World War II, corporations that had begun producing instant and processed foods, food products to feed the troops were in no rush to slow production. That is so tea because. Yeah, because why would you stop? Like, you have this, this invention that you have created for the use of the soldier. And now that the war is over, how do you convert that money or that product into something that the American pop. You know, the American public can ingest? That's so smart. And it also makes total sense. I mean, we. I remember being a kid, my dad was in the military and he introduced me to like, MREs, Meals Ready to Eat, where you heat it up with like boiling water or just over a flame and it's a full meal. Like it's. And what the fuck is in that, by the way? Like, how is that edible? But even stuff like freeze dried ice cream and all these like gimmicky little hacks that were sold at gift shops or whatever when you would go to NASA or da da, da. It's like this was revolutionary science of the time, where we can look at it today and be like, oh, yeah, it's like, but it's crazy that, yeah, these were military, government funded inventions. And then we just shifted and now all we eat is processed food. Literally every single thing we ingest is processed food. Industrial foods were often cheaper and definitely saved time. No longer would they be chained to the stove. Nonetheless, the cultural expectation that women would feed their families remained strong. They rated a woman who resorted to instant products as lazy, disorganized and a bad wife. Sure. But there was a contradiction here, one that required resolution. Instant products were here to stay. They were handy, they were cheap, and they were fast. To get out of this dilemma, women actually added labor back into the process. Instead of cooking from scratch, they used prepared foods, but doctored them up with additional ingredients or dramatic presentations. Hot dogs. No. Pigs in a blanket with an olive garnish. Yes, that makes sense that they would start putting shit in gelatin. Okay, well guys, I think that'll do it for me this episode. I hope y' all have a happy Thanksgiving. I hope that y' all don't get too annoyed or pissed off with your families. If you are celebrating friendsgiving, remember to be patient and kind with your loved ones. Maybe try to cook this year. Who knows? Cooking can be fun if you do it with fun people or if you actually like, try to enjoy the process. Don't get too stressed out. If you will be alone this Thanksgiving ain't no problem. You got the Internet, you got me. I'll be here and I love y' all very much. Go ahead and look out for that moomoo drop and go get you some Broski Report merch this Friday if you haven't already. And I love y' all to freaking death. Here is my song of the week. My song of the week is Midnight sun by Zara Larson. Thank you for listening and I will see y' all next week. Okay? Bye bye. Thank you to Etsy for supporting the Broski Report. Shop my collection of Original gifts@etsy.com BroskyReport.
