122: Broski Report Wrapped: 2025

Summary

The Broski Report with Brittany Broski

Episode 122: Broski Report Wrapped: 2025

Date: December 23, 2025
Hosts: Brittany Broski (& guests)

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Episode Overview

Brittany Broski delivers her signature blend of chaotic humor, stream-of-consciousness musings, and bizarrely profound insights in this self-described "national news blast" from Broski Nation. The episode, celebrating a milestone (100 episodes), covers everything from health scares and feminine hygiene, to the merits of oat milk, the enigma of men, art, genetics, dream pop culture collaborations, and, of course, updates from the Supreme Leader herself. Expect wild tangents, pop culture hot takes, historical fantasies, and honest discussions about living with yourself—in all your weird glory.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Recovering from Gallbladder Surgery & Medical Angst

• Opening reveal: Brittany has had her gallbladder removed, which prompts musings on the indignities and terrors of “goofy ass surgery.”
  • "...You're looking at a woman that is one less organ than now. I was two weeks ago. Okay?" (00:41)
  • “Unserious ass surgery, bro. Except it was very serious. It was actually kind of like really super scary.” (02:02)
• Reflections on the surreal anxiety that comes with unexpected adulthood health emergencies.
• Uses humor to process embarrassment and fear surrounding health issues ("I couldn't even have a cool one." - 01:27).

2. Broski Report as Unlikely Source of Education

• Brittany and co-host joke about the alarming idea that listeners "learn more from this podcast than I ever did in school."
  • “Did I ever think I’d be in charge of teaching the youth of America thermodynamics? No. But it’s a burden I don’t take lightly." (02:38)
• Sass about having a linguist and historian on hand to fact-check the stream of wild commentary.

3. Bodily Functions, Milk Disdain & Coffee Culture

• The mortification around ordering milk alternatives at cafes:
  • "When you order a milk replacement...you are admitting to the cashier that you are of a weak breed... My gut bubbles when I smell milk." (05:00)
  • "It's a humiliation ritual, okay? When I'm like, could I get the almond milk? Oh, you're a puss. Yeah." (05:22)
• Caffeine-fueled cleaning frenzies and spider hunting adventures, including wild thoughts about naked spider vacuuming and the metaphysical question: "Do spider have puss...Can spider get pregnart?" (06:29)

4. The Lore of Broski, Men, Dating, and Autonomy

• Men treated as mythical creatures to observe but not interact with:
  • "Men to me are like mythical creatures. I do not interact with them in the wild. I leave them be." (07:48)
  • "I would rather die alone. I made a vow to myself halfway through last year, I will never let another man into my house." (09:49)
• Shared horror story: a man who doesn't wash his butt in the shower, labeling it "gay," leading to Brittany's relationship rules and boundaries.
• Rants on independence: "If you are not gay or related to me, get the fuck off my porch." (10:01)

5. Historical & Artistic Fantasies (and Sherlock Holmes Obsessions)

• Imagines living in the 1890s Industrial Revolution-era London, marrying Sherlock Holmes, and rewiring British history with “The Broski Period.”
  • "I would have convinced him somehow by my wit and charm and intelligence to beg me. I have his child. We create the next Elon Musk..." (14:18)
• Discusses genetic ancestry (90% Irish and/or English) and riffs on the weirdness of DNA testing revelations.

6. Reflections on Womanhood, Mental Health, and Identity

• Describes visions of her "true self" chained by current circumstances.
  • "Sometimes I see a vision of my true self. And she's floating somewhere up high... shackled by her wrists and her ankles to this version of me..." (16:07)
• Self-deprecating "beluga whale" and "caveman forehead" moments, expressing both physical and existential insecurities.

7. Art, Anger Management & Pop Culture

• Despairs at the “ruining of the sanctity of art” and proposes the invention of a Muppet alter ego for anger management (18:00).
• Sings snippets of "Time to Say Goodbye," fantasizes about Andrea Bocelli performing at her wedding, and spirals into historical trivia.

8. Community Hygiene Public Service

• Appeals to Broski Nation to avoid becoming a "stinky" fan base.
  • “We’re not doing stinky Broski Nation ambassadors. Please, guys, don’t.” (25:55)
  • “Wear deodorant that works. And please, brush your teeth.” (26:06)

9. The Glory of Wattpad Fanfiction

• Defends the artistry of One Direction Wattpad fanfics, saying they surpass most modern literature for creativity and drama.
  • “The inventive nature and quality to some of those stories. Make fun of them as you may, it's great storytelling.” (26:12)
• Recites the iconic scene: “She threw her hair up in a messy bun and she handled it.” (27:44)

10. Being Unapologetically Weird

• Rallies listeners to be themselves, "be fucking weird," especially around men:
  • "If a man is weirded out by you, not your man. Get the fuck away from me." (55:20)

11. Pop Culture Rankings & Book Talk

• Spirals through topics like celebrity crushes (Tom Blythe, Jack O’Connell, Paul Mescal).
• Shares recent book purchases including Madeline Miller's "Cersei" and "Song of Achilles," raves about British food chains, and jokes about Americans abroad.
• Tangents about pop culture dreams—Ariana Grande as Audrey Hepburn, Broski as the Genie in an "Aladdin" remake.

12. Miscellaneous Absurdity

• Fantasizes about being a mermaid chieftain on the Gulf of Mexico.
• Reflections on airplane etiquette, farting, and bodily realities post-gallbladder-removal.
• Childhood public school flashbacks: "milk out of the eye" tricks.
• Requests for fan art: “Can someone draw me as a FNAF animatronic?” (52:38)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On milk alternatives:
  "When you order a milk replacement...you are admitting to the cashier that you are of a weak breed... My gut bubbles when I smell milk." (05:00)
• On independence and men:
  "If you are not gay or related to me, get the fuck off my porch." (10:01) "I would rather die alone. I made a vow to myself halfway through last year: I will never let another man into my house." (09:49)
• On historical fantasy:
  "I would have convinced Sherlock Holmes somehow by my wit and charm and intelligence to beg me. I have his child. We create the next Elon Musk." (14:18)
• On art and anger:
  "I'm gonna start a new bit where I create a Muppet version of myself... I’m gonna start doing Anger Management Puppet Hour." (18:00)
• On books and fanfic:
  “The ingenuity...in 135 chapter Wattpad One Direction fanfic... Make fun of them as you may, it's great storytelling.” (26:12)
• On being weird:
  "Be fucking weird because you are. Who are you hiding from? He's gonna find out eventually. Girl, just fucking be weird." (55:20)
• On leadership:
  "And as we know, the best leaders are ones that do not want to do it because they're selfless... It's not about me and what I want." (31:51)
• On hygiene:
  "Wear deodorant that works. And please brush your teeth. I'm begging y'all." (26:06)
• On celebrity crushes:
  "I can't meet Jack O'Connell. He'd be so nice. I can't meet him." (54:56)
• On community spirit:
  "Because we are nothing as one. We are everything together." (25:35)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Gallbladder surgery & medical anxiety: 00:41 – 02:38
• Thermodynamics & accidental education: 02:14 – 02:38
• Milk alternatives & cafe humiliation: 05:00 – 06:10
• Spiders, vacuum escapades, bodily functions: 06:29 – 07:40
• Dating, men, independence rants: 07:48 – 10:06
• Historical & Sherlock Holmes fantasies: 14:18 – 16:07
• Womanhood, self-image, beluga whale mode: 16:42 – 17:47
• Anger Management Puppet Hour: 18:00
• Fan fiction & messy bun lore: 26:12 – 27:44
• Book talk and Anglophile musings: 33:12 – 34:56
• Weirdness around men & self-acceptance: 55:00 – 55:29
• Pop culture dreams (Ariana, Genie): 56:05 – 57:18
• Mermaid narrative/leadership allegory: 31:45 – 32:18

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General Tone & Style

Comedic, rambling, irreverent, absurdist yet often introspective. Brittany's voice and style blend Gen Z meme consciousness, Tumblr nostalgia, body horror, and genuine moments of camaraderie and warmth. Co-hosts and guests amplify the banter but Brittany drives the flow and sets the confessional, anything-goes mood.

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Conclusion

This episode of The Broski Report is both a celebration and an existential spiral, heavy on pop culture, internet lore, and the lived weirdness of womanhood. It’s an open invitation to embrace one’s own "lore," be weird, stay curious, and never take life—or your podcast hosts—too seriously. If you want unfiltered observations spiked with laughs, shame spirals, historical daydreams, and surprising wisdom, it’s all here—plastic in your blood, gallbladder in the trash, and heart in the right place.

Transcript

[Lowe's Announcer]

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[Brittany Broski]

Los Angeles, California, this is the Broski Report with your host, Brittany Broski. Feliz ano nuevo. Yo nuevo a. No, that means asshole. Let's start with. You're looking at a woman that is one less organ than now. I was two weeks ago. Okay?

[Co-host/Guest 1]

What the fuck you always hear, oh.

[Brittany Broski]

She had her gallbladder out. She had her pancreatic removal surgery. It went great. Who the fuck is that ever about? Because it's. You think it's not going to be you. You know what I mean? Oh, it's now about me.

[Co-host/Guest 1]

Gallbladder surgery.

[Brittany Broski]

Goofy ass surgery.

[Co-host/Guest 1]

What the. I couldn't even have a cool one.

[Brittany Broski]

Oh, I tore my. I tore my nabiscus. I. I tore my. I tore my hibiscus muscle during bar method cuz I was going so hard because I'm so ripped and muscled that it just snapped. It's never that. It's.

[Co-host/Guest 1]

She had her gallbladder out. What the fuck? Goofy ass surgery is that? I'm humiliated.

[Brittany Broski]

Unserious ass surgery, bro. Except it was very serious. It was actually kind of like really super scary. Okay, let's talk about it. I guess I never thought for a fucking second when I was like, I.

[Co-host/Guest 1]

Want to do a podcast called the.

[Brittany Broski]

Broski Report that I would be looking.

[Co-host/Guest 1]

Up the fucking laws of thermodynamics. That's the stupidest bullshit I've ever.

[Brittany Broski]

I'm mad.

[Co-host/Guest 1]

I'm mad. And you know what makes me even more mad?

[Brittany Broski]

Sometimes people comment. I learned more from this podcast than I ever did in school.

[Co-host/Guest 1]

That's scary. That's scary.

[Brittany Broski]

Did I ever think I'd be in charge of teaching the youth of America thermodynamics? No. But it's a burden I. I don't take lightly. Okay? We're gonna learn this shit, and you guys are gonna be quizzed. In the end, you know, a lot of my scientific understanding comes from the Iron man universe. And that's not easy for me to admit. It's not fun for me to admit, but it's kind of, you know, so a bareback shot.

[Co-host/Guest 1]

Hey, I'm.

[Brittany Broski]

Jesus Christ. I'm sorry about that. This is a pretty visceral thing I came up with there. Bareback shot. Trying to order an angel shot at the bar and ordering a bareback shot by accident. Yeah. Do you guys do bareback shots? They're like, what the fuck? Sex freak.

[Co-host/Guest 1]

Get out of here, Sex freak.

[Brittany Broski]

Okay, again, I need a linguist in the corner, and I need a historian in the corner to be like, you're lying. And then I'll be like. And then I'll sit here in silence and I'll listen to him talk. And then I'll just regurgitate what he said. One of these days, I'm gonna do that. I'm gonna be like, welcome to my home. Sit in the corner, and I'm just gonna talk. And if you find any incorrect information or I misspeak maybe, then just go ahead and jump in. Correct me. If anyone knows any historians, send them my way, because I'd like to employ them for a day. So what's the option? I don't pay my taxes and I go to jail. Dystopian. Yeah, I've been thinking about that a lot recently. What if something's really for real wrong with me? Should I take some medicine? No.

[Co-host/Guest 2]

No.

[Brittany Broski]

You know, like, no. What would a Broski Report episode be without me? Googling shit that I don't know. Did Jesus have a lamb? And while I was down in the war rooms, of course, I did actually start my period. So raise your hand if you've started your menstrual cycle in Churchill's war rooms. Just me. Just me. I guess you hear all the mucus in my throat.

[Co-host/Guest 1]

Just can't.

[Co-host/Guest 2]

I just can't.

[Co-host/Guest 1]

Like, you bitches don't get hozier the way that I get hozier. Y' all aren't listening. You're not listening.

[Brittany Broski]

Oh, my God.

[Co-host/Guest 1]

This is what I want to tell you. This is what I want to tell you.

[Brittany Broski]

Unsustainable.

[Co-host/Guest 1]

Good morning.

[Brittany Broski]

Don't talk to me until I've had my diarrhea. When you order a milk replacement, a milk alternative, you are admitting to the cashier that you are of a weak breed. Could I get the oat milk? Okay. You are at the bottom of the food chain. That's what you're admitting. Okay, My gut bubbles when I smell milk. That's what you're telling them. You're communicating that in a roundabout way, and there's something very humiliating about that. It's a humiliation ritual, okay? When I'm like, could I get the almond milk? Oh, you're a puss. Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes. Sometimes my. My butthole kind of bleeds when I poop. Sometimes I have milk and then the rest of my day is ruined. I have to stay home. Oh, not the cow milk for me. I'll actually have a fucking reaction. I tried out this new place recently. It's not new. It's new to me. Coffee bean and tea leaf. That's like an LA staple. Everyone knows about that place. I never go. I've never been. I went yesterday. I said, give me three shots of espresso with a little bit of hazelnut in it and a little bit of oat milk. And he said, sure.

[Co-host/Guest 1]

That had me jacked up.

[Brittany Broski]

I was. I should clean my toilets. I should. I should scrub the walls. I should. I vacuumed every corner of my room. I. And, well, the reason I did that. Do you guys even give a fuck? I'm serious.

[Co-host/Guest 1]

Who gives a fuck? Who gives a fuck? Holy shit.

[Brittany Broski]

Last night I got my vacuum because there was a big ass spider in my bathroom. And I am the man of the house. I am the patriarch. Okay? You are looking at the face. You are looking at the patriarch of the household. And that's just how it is. That's just how I've designed it to be. So, yeah, I turned around and I was also naked. I was naked, about to hop in the shower. Big ass brown recluse, naked, ran through my house, grabbed the vacuum, sucked him up. There is a graveyard of scary big spiders in my vacuum bag because I don't want to kill it and I don't want to smush it, because what if it's pregnant? Do spider have puss? Puss. Can spider get pregnart?

[Co-host/Guest 2]

Yes.

[Co-host/Guest 1]

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

[Musical Interlude/Performer]

Physically fit. Physically, physically, physically fit. Physically fit. Right? Big, fantastic. Right? Big fantastic.

[Brittany Broski]

Men to me are like mythical creatures. I do not interact with them in the wild. I leave them be. I don't really want to hear from them, but I will admire their beauty from afar. Okay, I see a young gentleman with a sort of really nice upper body build, beautiful hairline, great mustache.

[Co-host/Guest 1]

I'm looking. I'm.

[Brittany Broski]

I'm staring from across. I'm across the street and I'm staring at you like this. Pov. You're a man with a mustache. I'm across the street, okay? We lock eyes and I'm doing the Miley Cyrus stare with blue eyes. And then a bus passes in front of us. And then when the bus passes, I'm gone.

[Co-host/Guest 1]

That's.

[Brittany Broski]

That's how I feel towards men. These Days from like. And then the bus passes, and then I'm gone. And then he's like, what the fuck? And then he looks behind him, I'm behind him, but I never say anything. I'm sort of. I'm Moaning Myrtle. I'm, like, floating around him in a circle. I'm Nosferatu.

[Musical Interlude/Performer]

You will bounce on it.

[Brittany Broski]

Y' all don't know the lore. Y' all don't know my lore. And you never will.

[Musical Interlude/Performer]

And you never will.

[Brittany Broski]

Yeah, I used to talk to this one guy. I used to talk to this one guy. I don't know if I told y' all this, but he said that. I said, I don't know why we were talking about this. I said, do you wash your butt in the shower? And he said, no, I don't touch my butt. That's gay.

[Co-host/Guest 2]

Oh, right, right, right, right, right.

[Brittany Broski]

Hey, sorry for asking, by the way. We're breaking up, by the way. Don't ever hit my line. Do you wash your butt in the shower? No, I don't. That's gay. Got it. Who'd you vote for? I need a man with a mustache to worship the ground I walk on.

[Co-host/Guest 1]

These men are fucking crazy, y'.

[Co-host/Guest 2]

All.

[Co-host/Guest 1]

I'm not joking. I'd rather die alone.

[Brittany Broski]

I would rather die alone. I made a vow to myself halfway through last year, I will never let another man into my house.

[Co-host/Guest 1]

That I pay for.

[Brittany Broski]

If you are not gay or related to me, get the fuck off my porch.

[Co-host/Guest 1]

I don't want to see you. I don't want to see you.

[Brittany Broski]

Like, there's no reason a man should ever come to your house. You have a man coming over to what, murder you?

[Co-host/Guest 1]

Why the fuck would you need a.

[Brittany Broski]

Man in your house? Like, that's crazy, actually.

[Nexplanon Advertiser]

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[Brittany Broski]

I can't face one more sunset without you by my side. Come with me and I vow your desires will be my North Star forevermore.

[Nexplanon Advertiser]

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[Co-host/Guest 1]

Look, love is love.

[Brittany Broski]

I just don't want it. I get in his pickup truck and in the passenger seat is a plush flower and he goes, so I never have to buy you ones ever again.

[Co-host/Guest 2]

Oh, okay. Oh okay.

[Co-host/Guest 1]

Oh oh okay. You and Valentine's Day. Hold on, hold on, hold on.

[Brittany Broski]

Cut that I'm mad. I just made myself mad. Cut that that's how I feel lately.

[Co-host/Guest 1]

And this is the dream it's all.

[Musical Interlude/Performer]

I need Cause I could be a freak. Call to the day, all to the day.

[Brittany Broski]

You want, you want a rare moment of vulnerability on this podcast? I googled it because I didn't know how about that collide with gas? We're doing fucking science with pretty Rosie again.

[Co-host/Guest 1]

Shit.

[Brittany Broski]

I've been practicing this for when I'm in Italy. Ready?

[Musical Interlude/Performer]

Time to say goodbye.

[Brittany Broski]

It's Andrea Bocell.

[Musical Interlude/Performer]

Wait, here's the actually Italian words Conte Partiro.

[Brittany Broski]

And who performed at my wedding? Andrea Bocelli. Who performed at her wedding? Andrea Bocelli. Okay, I don't mean this one either, because the 1890s in London was like the Industrial revolution, essentially. It smelled horrible. The working conditions were inhumane. Child labor, coal miners, steam engine builders, local. It was the Industrial Revolution, okay? The Industrial age had dawned on the Thames river and it was filled with so many dead bodies and so much nasty runoff from all those new factories that would backfire and wouldn't. It was just. But then again, you want to talk about architecture, you want to talk about fashion, you want to talk about a society with customs, you know what I mean? A rigid society with customs. I think it would be insane to, like, just be an observer. Be like, damn, y' all really had it like this. You know what I mean? I would have met Sherlock Holmes, okay? I would have convinced him somehow by my wit and charm and intelligence to beg me. I have his child. We create the next Elon Musk. He's a progressive. He takes over 1910s, London. Okay, stay with me. We don't have a Victorian period. We have a Broski period. My great great grandmother, Broski, Lady Broski, if you will, gave birth to my great grandmother. And down the lineage. That's why my lips are so small, okay? So I just wanted to go into that background to explain to you guys, well, my forehead's so big, my lips are small. It's because of that.

[Co-host/Guest 1]

So it's just genetics.

[Brittany Broski]

Anyways, back to this. Back to this painting of the sacrificial lamb. Sometimes I see a vision of my true self. And she's floating somewhere up high, and she is a vision of golden light, yet she is shackled by her wrists and her ankles to this version of me. She's. She's trying to get away and she's shackled and weighed down by iron chains of this version of me where I'm sitting on this podcast, like, okay, why.

[Co-host/Guest 1]

Was the French Revolution low key?

[Brittany Broski]

Tea.

[Co-host/Guest 1]

We are young. Hey, there's a fire in our soul.

[Brittany Broski]

Do you ever get that feeling that, like, you have a caveman forehead? And I don't mean physically, I mean mentally, that my brain kind of like, sometimes I feel like, what are those. What are those dolphins that look all fucked up? Big. Big headed dolphin?

[Co-host/Guest 1]

Yeah, this one.

[Brittany Broski]

Beluga. Sometimes I feel like a beluga whale.

[Co-host/Guest 1]

Look at that. Look at him.

[Brittany Broski]

It's all swollen.

[Co-host/Guest 1]

And to tell. I feel.

[Brittany Broski]

Feel in my forehead. I feel like it's swollen and it. It kind of hangs down. It hangs down over my eyes like. Like, subject from the side. I feel like it's kind of like this sometimes. Like the sack, the bulging sack that sits above my eyebrows kind of just. It's like resting real heavy. I'm going.

[Co-host/Guest 1]

I'm going beluga whale mode today.

[Brittany Broski]

Can anyone agree? Can anyone sympathize? Just me. Awesome. What is this Earth without art for?

[Co-host/Guest 1]

For sex?

[Brittany Broski]

I'm gonna start a new bit where I create a Muppet version of myself. And when I start getting really angry, I'm gonna go into the table and have a Muppet of me come up and be like, if anyone wants to make me a Muppet, I'll give you the P.O. box and you can send it to me. And I'm gonna. I'm gonna start doing. I'm gonna start doing Anger Management Puppet.

[Co-host/Guest 1]

Hour because it just pisses me off.

[Brittany Broski]

You bitches are ruining the sanctity of what art is. Okay, anyway.

[Co-host/Guest 1]

Maria, are you on that Ain't My Baby? No, that ain't my girl. Maria drooled.

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[Brittany Broski]

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[Brittany Broski]

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[Brittany Broski]

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[Brittany Broski]

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[Co-host/Guest 1]

Thanks, Sage Geek, right?

[Brittany Broski]

The entropy increases over time in a closed system, so it increases. What the. I don't give a shit.

[Co-host/Guest 1]

Holy. I don't care. Oh, my God. I don't give a. I don't care. Who the fuck cares about this shit?

[Brittany Broski]

I care. You know, it's inspiring. It's always all women in my bar method classes, which I like because I've done some workout classes and there's men in there.

[Co-host/Guest 2]

And I'm like, I don't feel safe here.

[Brittany Broski]

It's a gay man.

[Co-host/Guest 2]

I don't feel safe here.

[Co-host/Guest 1]

Can you leave? Please leave.

[Brittany Broski]

And I like to talk to myself. We know. Hey, we know. The edible just came and patted me on the back and said, it's time.

[Co-host/Guest 2]

To wrap it up. It's time to go now. I understand that, but it is time to go. Okay, well, the car is waiting outside and the Uber will cancel in 10 minutes if you're not in the vehicle with your laptop in the back. So I don't know what you want to tell the boss, but you're supposed to be in that car. And if you're not in that car, my ass is on the line. So pack up your and let's go.

[Brittany Broski]

But can I, like, I have some stuff in the front.

[Co-host/Guest 2]

I don't care. You should have time managed a bit better. Okay, now, this is your final warning. Now, you have nine minutes.

[Brittany Broski]

Hurry. Okay, well, I'm going to run to the bathroom really quick.

[Co-host/Guest 2]

Okay, if you missed that car outside, it's out of my hands. It's out of my hands. And if you need any help in the future, don't call me because I put up with your front of.

[Brittany Broski]

Okay, can we not do this right now? I'm recording.

[Co-host/Guest 2]

Get in the car.

[Brittany Broski]

Okay, guys, I gotta go in, like, 10 minutes. Sorry. Just got yelled at by my boss. Well, not my boss. She's my boss. But, like, you know, you don't want it to get up to the big guy because he's got a scary, like, Transylvanian accent, and he's got pink and white French tip nails that are in a coffin shape. And he's like. He's really, really scary.

[SeatGeek Advertiser]

And.

[Brittany Broski]

Did I ever tell you to read Sherlock Holmes? No, but you should just know to, because I'm s. I'm consistently sending out telepathic messages to all of Broski Nation. Okay. If you feel a brain zap one day, that's me trying to get in there. That's me trying to get up in there. And you're resisting. And for that, I'm cutting your pay. If you. My. My right temple is pulsing. That's me being like Sherlock Holmes.

[Co-host/Guest 2]

Sherlock Holmes.

[Musical Interlude/Performer]

You will bounce on it.

[Brittany Broski]

And that's y' all resisting. Okay? That's me. If you see me appear to you in a dream, that's for real. I've taken on my final form, which is nosferat. Hey, now you Robert Pattinson. Steven Yun. Yeah. And am I okay now? No. It gives you that.

[Co-host/Guest 1]

No.

[Brittany Broski]

It was really, really cute. And now I'm rewatching Peaky Blinders. Why? What's wrong? I'm rewatching Peaky Blinders. Is that okay with everyone? Because that is good.

[Musical Interlude/Performer]

I found my love in Portofino.

[Brittany Broski]

And she just broke her metatarsal fin. She just broke her dorsal finger as she had sprained her dorsal fin. So how are they gonna do it? She's got her special fin like Nemo and Finding Nemo. She's different and she's damaged, when in reality, she's the one that'll save us all. Isn't that fucking true? Because we all have that inside of us. We all have a power that if we even knew our power, we could.

[Musical Interlude/Performer]

Save all of us.

[Brittany Broski]

Because we are nothing as one. We are everything together. I'm off the Paul Mescal pack. The thought of waking up in the morning and leaving your home and not brushing your teeth is like. If you're a fan of mine, cut that shit out.

[Co-host/Guest 1]

If you're.

[Brittany Broski]

We're not doing stinky Broski Nation ambassadors. Please, guys, don't.

[Co-host/Guest 1]

We can't be the sneaky fan base. Please wear deodorant and not that fucking aluminum free shit.

[Brittany Broski]

Wear deodorant that works. And please brush your teeth.

[Co-host/Guest 1]

I'm begging y'.

[Co-host/Guest 2]

All.

[Co-host/Guest 1]

We can't be stinky.

[Brittany Broski]

I throw my hair up in a messy bun and run downstairs to have my breakfast of orange juice when my mother tells me she sold me to One Direction. What a crazy. Here's the thing about modern cinema and literature today. I have yet to see the innovation, the creativity, the originality that was packaged in to 135 chapter Wattpad One Direction fanfiction. The ingenuity. Is that the word I'm thinking of? The in. Inventive. The inventive nature and quality to some of those stories. Make fun of them as you may, it's great storytelling. What do you mean your mother sold you? And why was I reading this? Like, bless her heart, this is going to be horrible. But it's not Sold her to One Direction. Okay, sure. And for those that don't know, that was a famous fan fiction that went around in like 20. What was that? 2012, 2013 of on Wattpad. Of like this quintessential wattpad girl. I've talked about this so many times. Of like, she's rail thin, ghostly pale, like the most long, gorgeous, healthy hair you could ever imagine. And she's effortlessly gorgeous and beautiful. She just wears her dirty sneakers and her like skid mark stained underwear and she throws her hair up in a messy bed and she like, she gets to it. She handles it. Say it with me. She threw her hair up in a messy bun and she handled it. Do you know what I mean? I. I watched these. I need y' all to know this. I watched these episodes back and I'm like, you sound like a babbling idiot.

[Musical Interlude/Performer]

You know what I mean? Like, like, like mine, mine, mine.

[Brittany Broski]

I. I'm at my wits end with y'. All. I'm serious. I cannot deal with it. I'm so sorry. I'D like to apologize 100 million times.

[SeatGeek Advertiser]

Anyway.

[Co-host/Guest 1]

Guys, 100 episodes.

[Brittany Broski]

Actually, let me tell you something. I did my 23andMe, and guess what, bitch? I'm 90% Irish. I'm 90% Irish and English, but I don't know what that means, right? Like, is that 50% Irish? 50% whatever. And actually, I'm lying. It was 99% British and Irish, and the rest of it was Scandinavian, so you guessed it. I'm fucking white.

[Co-host/Guest 1]

So race reveal.

[Brittany Broski]

I'm white. 99.9%, 0.01. We don't know. We don't know, okay? You guys wouldn't last one day in my mind.

[Musical Interlude/Performer]

Mr. Aladdin, sir, what to be your pleasure.

[Co-host/Guest 1]

Please let me take your order. Shut it down.

[Musical Interlude/Performer]

You ain't never had a friend like me.

[Brittany Broski]

Life is your restaurant and I'm your.

[Musical Interlude/Performer]

Mate of d.

[Co-host/Guest 1]

When are they gonna.

[Brittany Broski]

Let a bro girl do the Genie live? Action remake? Will Smith had his time as the genie. It's my turn.

[Co-host/Guest 1]

Let me do.

[Brittany Broski]

Except it's just me doing a Robin Williams impression the whole time. Come on, whisper what it is you want.

[Musical Interlude/Performer]

You ain't never had a friend. Like, try some of column A. Try all of column B.

[Brittany Broski]

Come on, guys.

[Co-host/Guest 1]

I'm in the mood to help you, dude. I'm in the mood to help you, dude.

[Brittany Broski]

Cause he's a goat. That's not the part where he's a goat. That's when they're in the city.

[Musical Interlude/Performer]

Prince Ali.

[Co-host/Guest 1]

Fabulous. Damn, that was fucking good.

[Brittany Broski]

In another life, I had fucking gills, dude. In another life, I'm. I'm swimming through the water, and I'm playing as the sunlight catches on the water. And then there's not actually a worry in the world. In another. In another lifetime, I look exactly as I do now. Maybe a little bit less like Captain Barbossa, a little bit more like a water nymph, maybe. My features are really exaggerated, and my eyes are so blue, it's like. They're, like, white, okay? And I'm. I am of the species of nymph that is local to sort of the Gulf of Mexico, like, the coast of Texas. That's where my mermaid clan is from. And we swim and we have fun. We. Whatever. But ultimately, the leader gets killed, and someone has to step up. And as we know, the best leaders are ones that do not want to do it because they're selfless, right? Like, they're always thinking about us. We a community. It's not about me and what I want. And so I think that would happen to me, I think my father would be the leader. And I've practiced my whole life. I've grown my whole life just being a happy go lucky water nymph that is really, really super into, like, making music from clamshells and beaded. Maybe beaded things, Beaded wares, home decor, shell decor, etc. And then someone, like, gets my dad or he's in some political war, maybe my dad was corrupt and I was. I'm not gonna everything my power.

[Co-host/Guest 2]

I'm not gonna be like my dad.

[Brittany Broski]

And then something happens to him. And they're like, you're up. And I'm like, God damn it. I said, what did I say? Number 69, TSA PreCheck. Number 70, butt wipes, in that order.

[Co-host/Guest 1]

This beautiful thing. Oh, God.

[Brittany Broski]

Vincent Boone. No comment. At this point, it's more of a threat than a promise. A man is going to enter my life in July, keep him.

[SeatGeek Advertiser]

I don't.

[Co-host/Guest 1]

I'm not ready for all that shit. It's like a threat.

[Brittany Broski]

Like my fight or flight is going, and I'm just sitting here in my home. I really, really, really enjoy an unemployed man for some reason.

[Co-host/Guest 1]

I don't know why, I just do. And what do you do for work?

[Brittany Broski]

Ah, I'm in between jobs. How long have you been in between jobs? That's the type of young gentleman I go for. Just went to the bookstore today, picked up the Iliad, the Odyssey. I picked up Sunrise on the Reaping than I picked up. What else? Oh, Cersei, that. I went to the bookstore with one book in mind. I was like, I'm only getting Cersei because I just finished Song of Achilles. I will get to that. I will get to that. Let me get to it. And I was like, I'm on this Madeline Miller kick. I gotta go pick up Cersei because all the girls are telling me you gotta read Circe. It's even more devastating. It's their favorite book of all time. Okay, I believe you. So I went to my local Barnes and Noble and I went ahead and picked up Circe and then about six other books.

[Co-host/Guest 2]

Fuck.

[Brittany Broski]

I do think, though, being American because you forget I'm American sometimes when I'm really, like, deep into it. I've gone to UK before, and when I'm there. So I'll go to Gregg's, I'll go the local pub, whatever, and I'll go in sort of order. And I always wonder, like, do they know if I'm American? Because you put it.

[Co-host/Guest 1]

Put it on quite Thick. You can do the accent quite thick.

[Brittany Broski]

And I always wonder, like, are you clocking me? Like, are you saying throw my sort of facade fast on?

[Co-host/Guest 1]

And I never know.

[Brittany Broski]

I never know because I've gone up to Greg's one time. Greg. I've gone to visit Greg and I've ordered like a sausage roll. Like a disgusting, greasy sausage roll. Maybe like a kebab. And yeah, I don't know if I even cared or I've gone up to like a Mackie's. Probably, like, I don't know, maybe four, three, four years ago, I was in uk order the Mackies. And I. Yeah, you're right.

[Co-host/Guest 1]

Love co not at number four.

[Brittany Broski]

She said, is that all? She was American. And I said, yeah. So holy. Guys, 1, 100 times I've sat my ass in this chair and talked about nothing. Nothing. But at the same time, everything. I think I've covered pretty much all the bases. And here's the beautiful thing about womanhood. I haven't even scratched the fucking surface. I have not even scratched the surface.

[Co-host/Guest 1]

100 episodes deep.

[Brittany Broski]

And you bitches haven't even. You have no clue. Okay? There is so much more where that came from. 100. And I got this beautiful cake here. This beautiful 100 episode cake. Now, don't look at the back because Mama kind of went down on it. Okay? Mama was sitting here kind of munching on it. I was eating it from the bag. So I don't know.

[Co-host/Guest 1]

Everything I consume is made of plastic.

[Brittany Broski]

I'm turning into a plastic carton. There's plastic in my blood.

[Co-host/Guest 1]

I don't know. Off. Oh, my God.

[Musical Interlude/Performer]

He like to move and move it.

[Brittany Broski]

We like to move and move it he like to move and move it.

[Musical Interlude/Performer]

We like to move it Physically fit. Physically fit. Physically, physically, physically doesn't physically fit.

[Brittany Broski]

Okay, that was hard to say. Here's what. Okay, let me finish my thought. And watching Frankenstein's Creature learn the world and the small things to find beauty, where usually we don't pick up on it.

[Co-host/Guest 2]

It was so.

[Brittany Broski]

It made me cry.

[Co-host/Guest 1]

It was so good. It's gonna make me cry again. So good. Oh, and Jacob Elordi. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

[Brittany Broski]

I don't think I talk shit on Jacob Elordi at all. But now I'm crying over him, so that's awesome. I am experiencing caffeine overdose. Caffeine overdose. And I am wondering what. At what level is it? I'm in a dreamscape. At what level? You know, like, I can't feel my hands. I Feel like I've got double vision. I feel like. I feel like a white walker. I had so much damn caffeine, I turned into a white walker. So I just really feel like the way Cillian Murphy's eyes are so icy blue in that one scene of Oppenheimer. Put it up on the screen. You know the one I'm talking about? When the camera's real tight in on his face and it zooms in and he's. And then it's the music playing in the background as the bodies. He's stepping over charred bodies.

[Co-host/Guest 1]

That's how I feel.

[Brittany Broski]

Had so many fucking Red Bulls. Maybe I need a duck. Maybe I need a pet dove the next time I film.

[Co-host/Guest 1]

Look, they're so cute.

[Brittany Broski]

Why? Where are they going?

[Co-host/Guest 1]

Where are you guys going?

[Brittany Broski]

Oh, I had a dream last night about my ex situationship as well. Will I ever be free? Free me?

[Co-host/Guest 1]

Fuck.

[Brittany Broski]

Seriously, I bet US dollars that he paid an Etsy witch to do that to me. I am livid. I'm livid. I can't believe you permeated my dream space to send me that fuck ass message. And let me. Hold on. I don't know if I've ever told y' all this. And for the girls who were like.

[Co-host/Guest 1]

Queen, quit fucking around. Drop the album. When's the single coming?

[Brittany Broski]

It's fucking out. I hope you bitches are hungry.

[Co-host/Guest 1]

I hope you bitches are hungry.

[SeatGeek Advertiser]

Eat.

[Brittany Broski]

Come get y' all juice. It's here. And if you don't know what I'm talking about, I went ahead and actually had released a single. I had released an original piece of music. So if anyone gives a shit. Also there. That's an inside joke between me and my. My friends will say. They'll be like, oh, my God, how was your meeting? How was. Whatever. I'll be like, it was great, but, you know, like, you give a shit. Actually, that's my friend Channing's bit. It's my friend Channing and Tristan's bit. And I kind of had poached it from him. I stole it from them. They all be like, well, Brittany, we know you don't give a shit, but last night went great.

[Co-host/Guest 1]

Like, I didn't ever say, I don't care.

[Brittany Broski]

I dropped a single like, y' all give a. No one gives a fuck. It's a joke, okay? It's done. And the people that I want to have it, it's yours. You know what I mean? Like, Broski Nation. My fucking people, my municipality, city, state. Do we have clean water? No. Do we have health care? No. Do we have fresh crops? No. But do we have a fucking single? Yeah. And y' all are getting fed regardless. And you're getting fed again soon, okay? So keep those baby bird mouths open.

[SeatGeek Advertiser]

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[Brittany Broski]

Of my favorite movies of all time is Robert Downey Jr. Sherlock Holmes.

[SeatGeek Advertiser]

Hello.

[Brittany Broski]

And can Guillermo del Toro de Sherlock Holmes, please, for the love of God, please can we just, like, find a way? I'll. I'll help finance it. Okay. Now, I don't have the money for it, but I will find a way. I'll sell something. I'll figure it out. Just leave it to me. What does swan legs look like? Swan leg? Oh, there's absolutely no meat on that. But that's not a swan. That's a swan.

[SeatGeek Advertiser]

Goof.

[Brittany Broski]

Goofy. All legs. Goofy. All legs, bruh. That is so. It's just tendons. No. No meat on the swan bone. I wonder what that. I wonder what that feels like on the hand. Like if. If you were to grab.

[Musical Interlude/Performer]

I. I.

[Brittany Broski]

Think I would have enjoyed F1 more. If they would have been playing the car soundtrack over the speakers. Real gone. If they would have been playing some Rascal Flash. Life as a Highway if they would have been doing some.

[Co-host/Guest 1]

Behind the clouds, the sun is shining.

[Brittany Broski]

Brad Paisley again. Brad Paisley mentioned two weeks in a row. That soundtrack is just great.

[Musical Interlude/Performer]

Life could be a dream Life could be a Dre. Life could be a dream Sweetheart, hello, hello again.

[Brittany Broski]

What a great song. Yeah, that whole soundtrack. If they would have been playing that, you know, volume 150 over those. I don't want to hear the commentary.

[Co-host/Guest 1]

The clouds overtaking.

[Brittany Broski]

No. Cars are hitting each other, smacking against wall.

[Musical Interlude/Performer]

Life could be a dream Life could be a dream.

[Brittany Broski]

That would have been the vibe. Okay. In my head, the movie that's always playing. In my head, that would have been the collage sequence. The montage number 64, having violent mood swings. It's in. I've decided it's in. Where are the bipolar bitches? Stand up. It's our time. Get up, guys. Hey. But also. Oh, my God, am I making sense? I had a quad from Duncan. Okay. Hello to Duncan. I had a quad from Duncan. And I'm feeling like I could be giving 13 different commencement speeches at once. Like, I'm teaching a lecture in one side of my brain, and I'm giving a commencement speech in another that I'm doing the podcast in another. Like, a lot's going on up here, and I'm trying to. I'm trying to channel it. I'm trying to. I'm trying to chunnel it. I am trying to chunnel it. Just made a new word. Every road in this churn land.

[Co-host/Guest 1]

I've been everywhere, man. I've been everywhere, man. I cross the desert. Bear, man. Breathe the mountain air, man.

[Brittany Broski]

Travel.

[Co-host/Guest 1]

I've had my share, man. I've been every way Here.

[Musical Interlude/Performer]

They're all together. Cookie, the other family.

[SeatGeek Advertiser]

Go.

[Brittany Broski]

Anyway, I'm laying in bed. Chomp halfway down my throat. I bite into it with my back right molar. Some of my tooth comes off. What? What? But that's. But I hear you on the other side of the screen saying, brittany, that's a soft food. Yeah. You think I don't fucking know that? I guess I just have the most brittle enamel known to man, okay? My teeth need to be studied by Scientologists. Hold on. My teeth. Hold on. My teeth need to be studied by scientists. Dental scientology. Okay? You want a Snickers dance? Put on a show. I want to see choreography. I want to see you guys work for this fucking treat, okay? What I want to see is more tricks.

[Co-host/Guest 1]

Trick or treat.

[Brittany Broski]

And then you got to start dancing. Trick. Okay. And then I do a head spin trick. Armed robbery.

[Co-host/Guest 1]

Trick or treat.

[Brittany Broski]

Trick arson. I throw a Molotov cocktail through your window and I run away and it's.

[Co-host/Guest 1]

Like, who did it?

[Brittany Broski]

I don't know. It was a little girl, maybe it was a little boy, I don't know, dressed as Uncle Fester. Actually, they weren't that little. They were kind of mid sized plus size, and they were about five foot nine. Grown ass man. Uncle Fester, okay, The guy who does the. Hugh Jackman. That's one of the funniest bits that's ever happened on the Internet, by the way. It just keeps getting funnier. Like somehow he's cracked the code to where that shit day by day gets funnier. And I don't know, some days I'm like, okay, I'm over it. And then I'll watch a really good one. I'm like, oh, my God. And he changes the words to, like, Ryan Reynolds. Loaf of bread.

[Co-host/Guest 1]

Loaf of bread. It's so funny.

[Brittany Broski]

Okay, back to Mucus.

[Musical Interlude/Performer]

It's the most wonderful time of the year. There'll be much whistle blowing and I.

[Brittany Broski]

Don'T really know the words to that song.

[Co-host/Guest 1]

Okay.

[Brittany Broski]

And I texted a picture of myself to Drew, and she said I look like Nosferatu. Fuck you, bitch.

[Musical Interlude/Performer]

Fuck you, bitch.

[Brittany Broski]

I'm Fester Adams, ho, number 25, flirting with the knights at Medieval Times. I would highly recommend you get some girls together, go to Medieval Times and really lay it on thick. Sit front row, okay? And if you're not front row, be loud.

[Co-host/Guest 1]

Be.

[Brittany Broski]

Be the loudest people in your section.

[Co-host/Guest 1]

This is something, actually, that pisses me off about people going to Medieval Times. You go to Medieval Times and you sit there and you be quiet. Give them something.

[Brittany Broski]

They're performing. When you go to Medieval Times and the, you know, the knights do their little parade around and they're whatever. And, you know, they give their flower to somebody.

[Co-host/Guest 1]

I want to see you on your feet, at attention. Stand up over here, over here, over here.

[Brittany Broski]

That's what you need to be doing. Because guess what? The joy in their face. The joy in the nightstand faces. So it makes it all worth it. Makes it all worth it. They also do this crazy move where I was like.

[Co-host/Guest 1]

They do this crazy move where it looks like.

[Brittany Broski]

It looks like when swans, like, sort of fly and then, like, get in the water and just sort of coast.

[Co-host/Guest 1]

Like, do you know what I mean? You guys.

[Brittany Broski]

You guys just don't. Okay. I travel. They still let me on planes, even though I got this big farter on me. Even though.

[Co-host/Guest 1]

Even though, hey, carry on.

[Brittany Broski]

This big Ass this big shitter. And not ass in the sexual sense of like, damn, she's got a fatty this ass as like a weapon. As like big farter, big shitter. She had whole milk before this. And I just. This last fight I was on. Let me know what you guys think about this, okay? Because sometimes I get on a flight and people are farting next to me and I'm like, you are the most disgusting, nasty human. Get your toes and your farts out of this airplane. I mean that. I mean that. And don't put your feet on.

[Co-host/Guest 1]

Don't put it up on the wall.

[Brittany Broski]

Up on the thing when your toes are gripping. You're pissing me off. That's one side of me, okay? The other side of me is if I'm in the air and my stomach hurts, I got a fart, okay? Because I'm in pain. And when you're.

[Co-host/Guest 1]

It's a pressurized cabin.

[Brittany Broski]

My guts are bubbling, okay? I don't have a gallbladder. Cut me some slack. Sometimes I got a fart and they're blanks. I'm shooting blanks on the plane, okay? I'm farting, but there's. There's no stink in the chamber, okay? Or maybe we're just 30, 000ft up in the air. My nose is plugged up. This is my opinion, this trick or treat. Start dancing. Start dancing. Now. Recite me a poem. Recite me a scene from a play. I want to see you dance. I want to see a talent show. I want to see a special hidden talent, okay? Even do that shit where you, like. Remember those kids in middle school would, like, flip their eyelids upside down.

[Co-host/Guest 1]

You'd have to like.

[Brittany Broski]

And we don't do it again. You remember those kids who used to shoot milk out of their eyes?

[Co-host/Guest 1]

Was that just like.

[Brittany Broski]

That is such a public school thing, okay? I don't know if the little kids who were going to, like, Catholic school and all that, they weren't in the public lunchroom with the government funded lunch meals shooting milk out of their eye sockets. I don't know if that was happening. That was reserved exclusively for the public. Public school kids.

[Musical Interlude/Performer]

Percocet, Molly. Percocet. Chase a check. Never chase a mask off.

[Co-host/Guest 1]

It mask off. Mask off.

[Musical Interlude/Performer]

Mask off.

[Brittany Broski]

Now.

[Nexplanon Advertiser]

What's in there?

[Brittany Broski]

You may be asking. A little bit of lead, a little bit of cyanide, right? I'm trying to do this thing where I'm doing small doses. You got to work yourself up. Every morning I take a capsule of lead, a capsule of Red 40, a capsule of microplastics, and a capsule of cyanide. You guys are not paying attention.

[Co-host/Guest 1]

If you.

[Brittany Broski]

Everyone clap three times, okay? And if you didn't clap, do it with me now.

[Musical Interlude/Performer]

1, 2, 3.

[Brittany Broski]

Get up. Pay attention. You've been slacking off. We're learning about why birds don't sing at night. And say it with me. Because they are diurnal. Diurnal. Actually, hold on. Let me set my intention universe. Tell me what I need to know. It's right here. I think it's this one.

[Co-host/Guest 1]

What the are? Earth dragon. I literally pulled earth dragon after I just talked shit after I said, I don't want a fucking earth dragon.

[Brittany Broski]

The earth dragon is exactly what I needed. Are you out of your mind? Clears your path and the land around you, and it's sick. Can you zoom in on that? The earth dragon's fucking cool. If I was a fnaf animatronic, that would be gag. Can someone draw me as a. Can someone draw me as a FNAF animatronic? And why did they give chica BBL? And what do you think in FNAF 2, they're gonna have the BBL chica with the, like, hourglass and kind of, like, B cups maybe? I don't know. Food for thought. If I was a fnaf animatronic, I think I'd be one. I would be a good one. I'd be like, guys, we can't keep doing this. We're kids. Guys, come on. We're just kids. Why are we killing people? But honestly, if I was actually. If I was a fnaf animatronic, I'd go along with the flow. I feel like I'd be kind of spineless. I'd be like, oh, we're all killing people. Well, I don't want to be bullied for, like, not killing people. There's nothing is worse. Murder can't be worse than being bullied. Do you guys tuck for Uncle Fester?

[Musical Interlude/Performer]

Drag Gomez.

[Brittany Broski]

Okay, moving on. I feel like the number one thing I really wanted to say is that my tonsils are kind of touching each other today, and they're filled with tonsil stones, and I really don't know how to. At what age is it too, like, it's not cool to get your tonsils out? Like, if I'm pushing 30, I'm 28. Careful. Hey, careful now. Easy. Easy, boy.

[Musical Interlude/Performer]

Whoa.

[Brittany Broski]

I'm pushing 30. If I'm like, I need my tonsils out because they're touching, you know?

[SeatGeek Advertiser]

What?

[Brittany Broski]

I mean, because that happened and. Oh, my God, don't even get me started on when I get a head cold. Them bitches touch them. Bitches want to kiss so bad. The sexual tension between my tonsils when I have a fucking head cold. They want to get close and personal. They want to spoon. And I'm like, guys, can you please stop?

[Co-host/Guest 1]

Guys, I have stuff to do.

[Brittany Broski]

I have to talk for a little. And then they start kissing and they start giving each other sloppy stop. Guys, I'm punching myself in the throat. Stop. I said, you know, I have phases. I had the Tom Blythe phase. I had this phase, whatever.

[SeatGeek Advertiser]

Jack o'.

[Brittany Broski]

Connell.

[Co-host/Guest 1]

Yeah.

[Brittany Broski]

I can't meet him. I still can't meet him in person. There's no way. And I know he'd be so nice. He'd be so nice. I can't meet him.

[Co-host/Guest 1]

No, thank you. No, thank you.

[Brittany Broski]

Imma act real weird. I'll act real, real weird around Jack o'.

[SeatGeek Advertiser]

Connell.

[Brittany Broski]

Yeah. I'll say some. I'll regret. I'm over this idea that you need to be.

[SeatGeek Advertiser]

I'm cool.

[Brittany Broski]

I'm not.

[Co-host/Guest 1]

Be fucking weird because you are. Who are you hiding from? He's gonna find out eventually. Girl, just fucking be weird.

[Brittany Broski]

I don't care. I'm loud, I'm doing voices, I'm doing the. Whatever. I'm pulling references out of thin air. If they catch the wave, they're going to ride it, girl. They're going to ride the wave, okay? And they like it. They like weird bitches. They won't admit it, though, okay? And also, if a man is weirded out by you, not your man. Get the fuck away from me. Get away. Be weird around men. It's the wintertime.

[Co-host/Guest 1]

I'm just trying to keep a baby love for the winter.

[Brittany Broski]

And if Ariana Grande gets that Audrey Hepburn biopic role just went nonverbal. Watch me turn this podcast into the Ariana Grande Report. Bet on that, bitch. Y' all thought I was insufferable when Elvis came out.

[Co-host/Guest 1]

Fuck you.

[Brittany Broski]

If Ariana Grande does an Audrey Hepburn biopic, I am going to be the most insufferable person you have ever laid eyes upon, ever listened to, ever seen in your life. I'm going to make that my entire personality. I'm going to get those fucked up micro bangs. I'm going to start wearing pearls everywhere and gloves. Watch. I'm going to weigh 100 pounds soaking wet. I'm going to take that shit so personally. Ariana, goddamn.

[Co-host/Guest 1]

Please play with Andrea Bird biopic. Oh, My God.

[Brittany Broski]

I don't ask for much. I don't ask for much. I just ask for Harry Styles and Jack Harlow to come on Royal Court. Maybe Hosier.

[SeatGeek Advertiser]

Okay.

[Co-host/Guest 1]

And I'm asking for Aria to be the fucking Audrey ever. Biopic, please. Or at least I can. Breakfast at Tiffany's Roman Holiday remake on Netflix. Please, bro. Lee, I'm not really asking for much. I just want to watch it.

[Brittany Broski]

Okay? So have a great sleep tonight. Thanks for listening. Thanks for watching. I don't know why. I don't know why you watch. I don't know what possibly could interest you. If. Unless it's thermodynamics, then guess what? You're in luck.

[Nexplanon Advertiser]

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[CVS Advertiser]

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