← The Bryce Crawford Podcast
The Bryce Crawford Podcast
Confronting A Trans Woman About Christ (EP 98)
00:56:07
In this episode, Bryce chats with Ali Weezy about Jesus Christ. Ali is a transgender woman who sits down with Bryce to discuss various topics concerning Christianity.
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- [00:00]
Bryce Crawford
What's going on, guys? Welcome back to another episode of the Bryce Crawford Podcast. I'm Bryce. And today we have a very special guest. Guys, we've been trying to get this person on the podcast for so long. We have Ally on today. Ally, how are you doing?
- [00:12]
Ally
I'm good. Hi, guys. Thank.
- [00:15]
Bryce Crawford
I'm glad you're on. Thanks for coming all the way out here having me. Are you feeling good?
- [00:19]
Ally
Yeah, I'm really happy.
- [00:20]
Bryce Crawford
Good. I'm excited to like, dive into a little bit more your story, like, where you're from, kind of know a little bit about you and kind of. Of talk about Jesus and Christianity and things like that.
- [00:28]
Ally
Absolutely.
- [00:29]
Bryce Crawford
Where can. Can you kind of, like, tell everyone a little bit of your background, like, where you're from and.
- [00:34]
Ally
Yeah. So I'm Ally. I'm. I just turned 26, and I'm from Tucson, Arizona, and I am Mexican American.
- [00:44]
Bryce Crawford
Nice.
- [00:44]
Ally
Yeah.
- [00:45]
Bryce Crawford
Nice. And so did you. You grew up in Tucson, right?
- [00:47]
Ally
Yeah, I grew up in Tucson, Arizona.
- [00:49]
Bryce Crawford
What was it. What was your childhood like, growing up? Like, like, kind of invite us in.
- [00:53]
Ally
That a little bit. It was really cool. I had like, a very, like, good childhood for the most part. Like, my mom and my dad were married for, like, 18. Almost 17, 18 years. Yeah. I have, like, three brothers, and. And I have two brothers and one younger sister. And then, yeah, we're very, like. I don't even. We're just crazy.
- [01:17]
Unknown
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [01:19]
Bryce Crawford
And so growing up was good. Like, family dynamic was good or kind of like, what. What was, like, the family dynamic back at home?
- [01:26]
Ally
It was interesting. I was, like, kind of brought up Catholic, and then, like, I guess we converted into Christianity. So, like, we very much, like, had, like, a religious household to a certain extent, for sure. And then, yeah, like, I had a very, like, interesting, like, teenage years, though. For sure. For sure.
- [01:47]
Bryce Crawford
What was your teenage years like?
- [01:49]
Ally
It was crazy. It wasn't crazy because, like, it wasn't bad, but, like, I very much, like, had, like, a. Like, I felt like I lived, like, a double life almost, because, like.
- [02:00]
Bryce Crawford
Well, what do you mean? Like, invite. Invite us into that. When you say you lived a double life, what was that like?
- [02:06]
Ally
It was interesting, honestly, because, like, so, like, I said, like, at home, like, I grew up with, like, I said, in a very Christian, like, household. And it was kind of weird because, like, I would go to school and very much, like, be like myself and, like, super, like, I wasn't, like, very out there, but I was very much, like, I was obviously, like, a little gay boy at the Time and at home, like, I would go back and it'd be, like, very, like, you know. Yeah, like, very much. Like, not the opposite, because I really didn't care about hiding who I was, but, like, I also very much, like, was aware of the situation, and I knew to tone it down.
- [02:42]
Bryce Crawford
Yeah, Gotcha. So for those. For. So for people out there that don't know you, Alice, transgender, how long have you been transgender?
- [02:50]
Ally
I've kind of always knew. Honestly, I just never had, like, a word for it. I kind of, like, I figured out what trans was when I was, like, 15, 16 maybe, but I didn't start transitioning until I was, like, 18 or 19.
- [03:03]
Bryce Crawford
Oh, okay.
- [03:04]
Unknown
Yeah.
- [03:04]
Bryce Crawford
So tell us. Tell us a little bit about, like, when you were 15, going. Okay, well, before we dive into that, you said you started transitioning. 18, 19. Were you out of high school when you started transitioning? So tell us a little bit about high school. What high school was, like, what was. What was life like? How did people treat you in high school? That kind of thing?
- [03:22]
Ally
High school is, like, interesting for me because, like, I. My freshman year, like, I was just, like, I was super quiet in high school. Like, and there's. I've heard, like, stories of me now, like, now that I have, like, my platform and stuff. And, like, I've heard people be like, oh, she was a mean girl, or she was this. Or she was, like, kind of had an attitude. I'm like, no, like, I was just very quiet. Like, I was super, like, to myself. And I think I had, like, a very small, like, group of friends for the most part.
- [03:51]
Bryce Crawford
Maybe that's why you came across mean.
- [03:52]
Ally
Yeah. And. But it's because I was also, like, extremely shy. Like, I was. Yeah, I was very shy. And, like, I. I was very confident, but I didn't, Like, I wasn't very, like, vocal, like, with. With how I spoke or anything like that. But yeah, high school is interesting. Like, my freshman year was, like, very, like, I was kind of just, like, testing the waters with, like, hair and makeup and, like, kind of, like, more into self expression and stuff like that. And, like, how I wanted to. I guess I was more so testing the waters. Like, my individuality, I guess, is, like, the word. And then, like, my sophomore year was kind of when I started, like, dabbling more into, like, my femininity. And then junior year came around, and then, like, I spent my whole junior year, like, going, I guess, full time as a girl to school. And then senior year came around, and it was the same thing. And, like, I Started going by Ali, like my junior year.
- [04:51]
Unknown
Yeah. Yeah.
- [04:52]
Bryce Crawford
And so you said you graduated high school. When you graduated high school, you started your transition. Okay, so, so can you kind of like, tell. Explain to me what is. What it looked like being in high school and going to high school as a girl versus, like your transition, real life?
- [05:08]
Unknown
Yeah.
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Bryce Crawford
Like, what, what does that. Can you explain that to me? Like, what is that?
- [05:10]
Ally
Well, in high school it was a little different because I, like, my, my. When I came out to my parents as trans, it wasn't like, like, or gay or whatever it is. I don't even know. Honestly. I feel like I came out like three or four times already to them, but, like, I would very much go to school, like, female presenting. And then I would go to, like, a Starbucks because I went to like a. I went to a high school that was like, right by university campus, and I would go to a Starbucks and I would, like, go and like, wash my face in the restrooms and then go back home as a boy just because, like, I wasn't scared scared. Like, my, My mom already knew. But for me, it was more so like, respecting my mom and, like, respecting, like, her, like.
- [05:54]
Unknown
Yeah.
- [05:54]
Ally
Her opinion of certain things, I guess.
- [05:56]
Unknown
Yeah.
- [05:57]
Bryce Crawford
So would you say, like, so you, you would go to school as a girl and then come home and be a guy, but you only wanted to be a guy to respect your parents, but you felt like you were a girl at heart?
- [06:09]
Ally
Yeah, I've always been super feminine, though. Like, literally anybody can tell you in my family. Or even like, Jen, like, she knew it was like, like she knew something was there. Like, and, and it was even like, more than like a. Oh, that's just a gay boy. Like, no, like, there was, there was, like, signs there that just, like, were like, I was very hyper feminine now.
- [06:32]
Bryce Crawford
Did people ever make fun of you in school because you were, you were feminine or, like, did feminine things?
- [06:38]
Ally
I mean, I'm sure that they did, but, like, I honestly, like, I, I was so in my own bubble to like, even. Not that I didn't care what people thought about me. I just didn't, like, it didn't phase me because I've always been, like, really confident in who I am as a person.
- [06:56]
Unknown
Yeah.
- [06:56]
Ally
Yeah. So, like, I'm, I'm. I can name a few things off the bat, but, like, I really don't care to dwell on it anymore, honestly.
- [07:03]
Bryce Crawford
Yeah. So what, so what did the transition look like outside of high school? You. You graduated high school and what did that look like for.
- [07:10]
Unknown
For you?
- [07:12]
Ally
It was interesting for sure. So I don't know what it was exactly. That kind of like threw the, like the feather on the camel's back type. Sorry, I don't mean to cuss.
- [07:27]
Bryce Crawford
No, no, you can say whatever.
- [07:28]
Ally
Yeah. It was just. I just remember one day I got into an argument with my mom or my parents and I was like, you know what? Like, I need to leave. Like, I think it's time. Like, I need to separate myself. And I remember I really didn't speak to like, any of my family for like a good three, four years.
- [07:47]
Bryce Crawford
Dang.
- [07:48]
Ally
Yeah. And it was by. It was. I feel like the. The decision was mutual. It wasn't like they threw me out or anything. I just. It was very much. I chose to exclude myself.
- [07:59]
Unknown
Yeah.
- [08:00]
Ally
And kind of work on myself. And within that time frame, I started like, I started hrt, like hormone therapy. I started like, I guess just full time living as a woman as well as like, kind of just getting my, like outside of my transition, just getting my life together.
- [08:17]
Unknown
Yeah.
- [08:17]
Ally
Like, at that time, like, I was a very young adult. I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life. I. I don't know. Like, it was just a very overwhelming but, like, good thing that happened out of that whole experience. And then by the time I was like 21, I moved in with my grandma because she was in, like, doing good health wise. So she just needed someone to be there, like to help her with her medication, like her doctor's appointments, just keep an eye on her overall. And I had seen my mom, and my mom had never met Ali at the time. And I kind of just like walked in and I had like hair down to my ass and like I was in like biker shorts and like a sports bra and like just moving all my stuff in. And it was. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't good, if that makes sense. I think it was just. It was uncomfortable for the both of us. But by the time that, like, I think she seen me, she just kind of realized, like, well, there's really nothing I can do about it. Like, this is who she is.
- [09:17]
Unknown
Yeah.
- [09:18]
Bryce Crawford
So was that when you came out to your parents as trans?
- [09:21]
Ally
No, I came out. I didn't even think technically come out. I, like, they kind of caught me, if that makes sense. They kind of caught, like what I was on to. So I don't know if it was like my junior or senior year of high school, but something happened in my family where I had to, excuse me. I had to move schools and I was going to go to school in. I don't know if it was in Mexico or Nogales, Arizona. It wasn't. It was in Nogales. And they. My mom was gonna pick up my transcripts. And I remember. I don't know what was going on, but the front office lady told her I wasn't with her. But the front office lady, my brother was there, told my mom. She was like, why hasn't he been wearing, like, his hair and makeup? Like, he's so much more confident and, like, there's a big difference in her work, in his work ethic. When, like, she, like, he's female presenting or, like, in hair and makeup. And my mom had no idea, like, what she was talking about.
- [10:21]
Unknown
Yeah.
- [10:21]
Ally
And, like, that was kind of, like, the way that. I guess that happened.
- [10:26]
Bryce Crawford
That it happened.
- [10:27]
Ally
Yeah.
- [10:27]
Unknown
Yeah, that.
- [10:28]
Ally
I think that's pretty sure that's how it happened. That I remember.
- [10:30]
Bryce Crawford
And what do your parents think about it now?
- [10:32]
Ally
I have the most, like, I have the best relationship with my parents now.
- [10:35]
Unknown
Yeah.
- [10:35]
Ally
Yeah. I very much like my mom, like, even, like, goes as far as, like, help me with my hair. Like, we'll pick out outfits together. Like, we'll do all the girl things together. Like, I'm very much. Like, it's. It's weird when you're. When you're trans because, like, you go through, like, I don't. I guess, like, female puberty or, like, the, like, the teenage phase of, like, of a girl, like, in your 20s. Because you never got to experience that, like, within the regular, like, teenage years. Like, at least for me, you know, like, I'm very much going. I'm in the process of, like, in my teenage girl years in my twenties, because I never experienced it.
- [11:13]
Bryce Crawford
And you mentioned you keep mentioning your mom a lot. What about your dad? What does your dad think about it? Where's he at?
- [11:19]
Ally
My dad is in Mexico. It's so crazy with, like, everything that's going on in the world, too. But my dad was deported when I was 14 in front of my family. And so, yeah, like, I showed up one day and they, like, took him from us. And, like, it was very hard on my family. And, like, he's still in Mexico.
- [11:44]
Unknown
Yeah.
- [11:47]
Ally
So I kind of had, like, a really rocky relationship with my dad. But I feel like now we're in, like, such a better place. I don't really see him, like, as often as I should, but I do speak to him, like, every other day, and we'll just check in with each other and stuff like that. And Like, I don't know, it was just a. It was a really, like. Just with both my parents in general, I think it was just really weird because for the longest time, like, they went from being like Sunday school teachers to, you know, to like, going through so much and then like, kind of almost using the Bible against me, like, when it came to, like, my transition and stuff like that. And then now, like, I have, like. I think it just. Not that they don't care, like, what's going on with me. I just think they just. They love me more than anything for sure. Just to, like, they just love me and they just want me to be happy.
- [12:39]
Unknown
Yeah. Yeah.
- [12:40]
Bryce Crawford
So. So you about. Because you said you kind of like, started showing femininity when you were 15, so probably a year before you did that, your dad was deported, and then he wasn't like, really physically in your life because he's been gone. And then you've had this transition. You've been out of high school. Transition out of high school. Now I want you to explain to everyone, like, before we dive into, like, your relationship with God and Christian, anything like that, I want you to kind of explain to everyone how you got a platform on the Internet and what that was like. Can you explain that?
- [13:18]
Ally
Yeah, of course. So I didn't, like, I had no plans on being a content creator. Like, I was very much, like, when I first started, like, social media, I was working at A T Mobile.
- [13:30]
Bryce Crawford
Oh, no way.
- [13:30]
Ally
Yeah. Like, I was very much, like, finessing my sales. Like, like, just I worked like a regular 9 to 5.
- [13:37]
Bryce Crawford
Wait, you said finessing your sales? What do you mean?
- [13:39]
Ally
Yeah, like, I was like, I was just grinding. Like, I was like, I found a way to make my money at work. Like, I was just very much like, on top of what I did.
- [13:45]
Unknown
Yeah.
- [13:46]
Ally
And I just remember at the time I was. I was talking to somebody and I think it was like three in the morning and I posted like a tik tok just like throwing shade at them. And I woke up the next morning and I had 3 million views.
- [13:59]
Bryce Crawford
Oh, snap.
- [14:00]
Ally
Yeah. So that's very much how that happened. And then it just kept snowballing because I kept posting. Like, I just. I remember I was like, well, I don't know what to do, but, like, I'm just gonna keep posting.
- [14:09]
Unknown
Yeah.
- [14:10]
Ally
So, like, I would just post like, little life updates. Like, like a little bit of trolling here and there. Nothing too crazy. But like, I. Because I can. I very much have like a sarcastic attitude sometimes. So I very. Make sure, like, it's amplified online a little bit.
- [14:22]
Unknown
Yeah.
- [14:23]
Ally
And then, like, six months later, I was invited to do a podcast. And, like, I didn't know much about the podcast. I didn't know what I was walking into, which, I mean, obviously, like, I was a smart person to do their research on something that they're doing like that. But at the time, I was just so excited. I was like, oh, my God. Like, I got invited to do, like, a podcast. Like that. That's so cool. Like, someone found me off my videos and they want to do whatever. Like, you know, it's just like, that kind of stuff. And I remember, like, I think, like, the day I was traveling there, I was like, oh, this is what I'm walking into. Like, I. I didn't realize, like, it was like, a very much, like, hyper, masculine, like, environment that I was walking into.
- [15:11]
Bryce Crawford
So you went on the whatever podcast.
- [15:12]
Ally
Yeah, talking about. And within, like, minutes of me being on there or let me rewind. So, like, I remember I was really nervous, so I don't condone drugs at all or, like, like, the use of them, but I needed, like, I needed something to chill me out. So I took an edible, and I remember I walked in that, and I end up in the room. I, like, signed a form, and then, like, within minutes of going live, I was viral on Twitter.
- [15:42]
Bryce Crawford
And then that was kind of like a big explosion of traction and eyes on you.
- [15:46]
Ally
Yeah. That was like, what really, like, stamped me on the map.
- [15:50]
Unknown
Yeah.
- [15:50]
Ally
Was that podcast.
- [15:51]
Unknown
Wow.
- [15:52]
Ally
And, yeah, it kind of just snowballed from there, and then now, I guess, like, I'm a. I'm a streamer baddie.
- [15:59]
Unknown
Yeah.
- [15:59]
Bryce Crawford
What is that?
- [16:00]
Ally
What.
- [16:01]
Bryce Crawford
What did you say?
- [16:02]
Ally
I'm a streamer baddie.
- [16:03]
Bryce Crawford
Okay, explain that to me. What is a streamer bad?
- [16:07]
Ally
Like, okay, so I don't stream personally. Maybe it's something that I'm gonna do later on this year. I'm not sure yet, but I very much just, like, I get invited on streams, I do my quick little one, two, and then I get to leave.
- [16:21]
Bryce Crawford
Okay, interesting.
- [16:22]
Unknown
That's.
- [16:22]
Bryce Crawford
I've never heard that before. Streamer baddie. Okay, so. Okay, so that was your kind of, like, blow up here, and I want. We'll talk about a little something that you mentioned about the whatever podcast later, because I want to know your thoughts on it, but I want to talk about Jesus, because we are a Christian podcast, and you said you were raised Catholic and Christian. I want to kind of know like, a little bit about that. Like, do you. Do you have a Relationship with God or like Christianity? And if so, what does that look like for you?
- [16:53]
Ally
I do have a relationship with God.
- [16:54]
Unknown
Okay.
- [16:55]
Ally
I pray every morning, every time I go to bed, every time I get on an airplane, every, any. I pray I very much. I wouldn't say I'm like a religious person, but I do have a relationship with God and I do my best to talk to him as frequent as I can.
- [17:14]
Bryce Crawford
So you would, you would almost like confine your relationship to God to like basically like praying a lot. Like, that's what, that's what your relationship looks like. And what do you think about Christianity in general? What do you think about Jesus?
- [17:27]
Ally
Well, I mean, I love Jesus obviously, but Christianity is something I have like a very, it's like a super touchy subject for me. So like I said, we were, I grew up Catholic for the most part. And then like, I don't know, somehow in the mix of that, we converted to, we became Pentecostal Christians, my family and I. And you know, when you're in an environment where at least for me, just picture like I'm a 12, 13 year old little boy who is hearing like constantly like, oh, if you don't change your ways, like, you're gonna burn in hell, like, you're gonna, you're going to hell. Like you always hear like from, like you think that they're not talking about you when they say these things, but like the closet was made of glass with me. Like, it was very apparent like I was who I was and, and like I wasn't hiding it as much as I thought I was. I wasn't. So when you grow up and you hear those things, you kind of like, like, at least for me in my adulthood now, it's very hard for me to walk into church and I, I, there was a time where I was going as an, in my adulthood. But you kind of like this for me. Like, I get stuck with this. Like, I don't know if it's what the word is, if it's like spiritual warfare, what it is exactly. But for me it's more so of like, why, like, I'm here for God and I'm here for my relationship with God. This is where I come to feel, to feel him and to have my peace and to, you know, just, it's my version of finding peace. But it's also hard to be there when all you've ever heard growing up was like, you're gonna go to hell. Like, God doesn't like this. Like God doesn't like that. And it's always like. Like, it's hard to be in that, if that makes sense. Because it's like, how do you. You find so much peace in a place, but at the same time, you feel like you're not wanted there? And these aren't. It's not like I'm hearing this from God. Like, I'm hearing these from the people who are around me in that area, you know? So that's where it comes into play, where it's, like, it's hard to find. Like, it's hard to want to be there when. When that's. That's where you know you want to be. I don't, like, I don't know how to explain it. Like, that's. That's the only way that I can think of, like, word it.
- [20:00]
Bryce Crawford
No, I kind of get what you're saying.
- [20:01]
Ally
Yeah.
- [20:02]
Bryce Crawford
So. So, like, what. So you grew up in this Christian environment. What do you think about, like, what do you. Do you know what the gospel is? Like, what is the gospel?
- [20:14]
Ally
I mean, it's the Bible, right?
- [20:16]
Bryce Crawford
So you have, like, the gospels, right? Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John, the. The povs of Jesus, basically. But this. The. The gospel essentially is kind of like this message that you're kind of echoing. Not from, like. And not from like a. I'm trying. I'm trying to figure out how to explain it. The gospel, in a sense, is saying, like, hey, you and I are broken people. And because we're broken and because we're naturally wicked at heart, that's how we're born, you know? Like, you don't.
- [20:44]
Unknown
I don't.
- [20:44]
Bryce Crawford
You don't have. Like, when I was younger, no one taught me to be selfish. No one taught me to hit my preschool friends in the head with a toy sword. You know, I just did it. It was naturally in me and my. My sinful nature. Because I do wrong, I deserve death. I deserve punishment. In the same way a criminal who murders someone deserves to go to jail, right? There has to be justice. But because God loves you and I, he dies on the cross to pay the penalty for our sins. So he kills our sin on the cross. And then if we put fear, faith in that, faith in his resurrection, defeating death, defeating sin, then we can be saved from that. And so what do you know? Do you know anything about my story? Or, like. Or, like, with. With Jesus or.
- [21:29]
Ally
You. Okay, you can totally, like, tell me if I'm wrong. Yours. Your story was the one in the Waffle House, right?
- [21:34]
Unknown
Yeah. Yeah.
- [21:35]
Ally
When you were. You. You were going through, like, A rough time. And then, like, someone.
- [21:39]
Bryce Crawford
Yeah, I had a lot of. I had, like, really bad depression and anxiety for, like, probably like four. And then when I was 17, I was planning on taking my life, and I went to Waffle House to have my last meal, and I had this supernatural encounter with Jesus, and he stopped me from taking my life. So that was my foot in the door with Jesus, relationship with him, any sort of religion. And so that was my foot in the door of going, okay, maybe there is a God who cares about me, and God loves me because God shows me that. And then I started diving into it and researching it more and reading the Bible. And that's when I began to develop my relationship with God. God. And so that's kind of like my introduction to Jesus. What. What if. Let's say every. Every human being has a timer. Everyone's clock is ticking. When you die right now, where do you think you go? And why do you think you go there? Like, do you believe in heaven or hell?
- [22:28]
Ally
I do.
- [22:29]
Bryce Crawford
And what. What is the requirements for someone to get into heaven?
- [22:35]
Ally
Well, I mean, obviously, like, I. I'm assuming you're a Christian. Correct. Okay. So, like, I've always been told, like, if you have Jesus Christ in your heart and, you know, you repent and you're able to kind of, I guess, recognize and realize, like, what you've done from right or wrong, and it's. And you move forward with it in God's way, then you're going to heaven.
- [23:00]
Unknown
Yeah. Yeah.
- [23:01]
Ally
Obvious. Not obviously, but that's what I heard. But, like, if you're also. I've also heard, like, if you're stuck in the ways of the world, like. Like, and you're not living in God's path, or like, you almost take him for granted all the time, like, there's like, a good chance, like, you're going to hell.
- [23:17]
Unknown
Yeah.
- [23:18]
Ally
At least that's what I've been told growing up through. Through church.
- [23:22]
Unknown
Yeah.
- [23:24]
Ally
So I don't know where I would be somewhere along the lines of that, honestly, because for me, personally, like, this is where I kind of, like, struggle when it comes to my relationship with God. In the Bible, it says, like, you're never supposed to question God. Like, you're never supposed to question, like, his. His reasons for doing things, why he does things, why he lets things happen, because you're just not supposed to. And then I kind of struggle with it in the sense of, like, especially for me being trans, I'm like, if God already knew, like, this was gonna happen, like, why would he let me do it? Or why would he put me in a place of this? And then I always hear, like, well, no, that's not God. That's the devil. Like, that's, that's not, that's not God telling you to live this way. That's, that's, that's. That's of the devil. But then I'm like, okay, then, like, what is so evil about what I'm doing? Like, I'm not hurting anybody. Like, I'm not. I'm. I'm not hurting myself. Like, I, Like, I genuinely can stand here and say right now and sit. Like, or sit, I'm sorry and say, like, if I would have kept living as male, like, I would be dead.
- [24:43]
Bryce Crawford
Like, why do you think that?
- [24:44]
Ally
Like, I just hated who I was. Like, as, like, like, male presenting. Like, I knew what I was from a very young age. Like, I knew I was, like, feminine. I knew. Like, I don't want to sit here and be like, oh, I knew I was a girl or I knew I was a woman because I'm a trans woman. Like, I'm. I very much know my place in this world, but I always knew that I wasn't. I never identified with what I had, with what was in between my legs.
- [25:09]
Bryce Crawford
Wait, so. So when. When you say, like, you hated. You hated who you were as a, As a man, like, that, like, was it an insecurity of looks and insecurity of, like, what was.
- [25:21]
Ally
It was, like, the gender, like, identity of it all? Like, it. The. The gender dysphoria. Like, I knew in my head. Like, like, like, how do I explain this? Like, I knew in my head, like, what I thought in my head, like, didn't match what was down there, if that makes sense. Like, it didn't click in my. Like, it wasn't clicking.
- [25:45]
Unknown
Yeah.
- [25:45]
Ally
Like, I. What I saw in between my legs was not what, like, was going on in my head. So that was very much what it was. Like, my gender dysphoria kicked in really, really bad, especially in high school. So that was what it was that I hated. Like, and it wasn't even necessarily about looks per se, but it was more so of, like, every time I had to go to the barber, like, why did I have to cut my hair? Like, I, if I, if I had, like, if I thought, like, a girl or if I, If I. In my head I thought it was a girl, like, why did I have to wear boy clothes? Why did I have to do this? Like, I, Like, I didn't. Like, I Like, it was just something I hated always having to do or like, if. And even in high school when or when I was younger, like, and I tried to force myself because, like, my hair was super long in high school and I like buzz cut it for my senior pictures and like, for shit like that, like when I, like, I had to butch it up, I was like, like it was the worst, like, depressing thing ever because, like, I knew it was something that I hit. Like, like it would bring my skin crawl.
- [26:51]
Bryce Crawford
So, so your kind of question was like, you're not hurting anyone. So, like, if God didn't want me to be this way, like, why did he stop me kind of thing.
- [27:01]
Ally
Exactly. Like, why didn't he stop me?
- [27:02]
Bryce Crawford
Yeah, yeah, I kind of see what you're saying. So I feel like, well, first of all, thanks for sharing that. I think that takes a lot of like, bravery to share.
- [27:09]
Ally
Yeah, absolutely.
- [27:11]
Unknown
So.
- [27:11]
Bryce Crawford
So sin. So sin in the Bible isn't just action. It's a condition of the world, right? So when God created everything, Proverbs tells us that God used wisdom to create the world. So that means there's, there's time, there's detail into it. So when God created everything, he created everything perfectly. And then in Genesis, the Bible explains us that at the beginning of the world, Adam and Eve, male and female, were together and they were in, in relationship with Yah. Now this part, this is the part why I want to answer. Like, why didn't God quote, unquote, stop you?
- [27:46]
Unknown
Right?
- [27:47]
Bryce Crawford
So God loves us enough to give human beings free will, which gives us the choice to choose God or not. So when Adam and Eve are in the Garden of Eden, they say at one point screw off to God, basically because they bite from the tree of knowledge of good and evil. So they thought that they could be better than God essentially. So they decided to attempt to rebel against God. Now, because they rebelled against God, sin, this condition entered into the world. This means that sin perverted everything that God originally designed. So not just anger, not just pride, not just lust, but if God has an original design for all of mankind, anything outside of the original design would be considered perverted in sin, right? So if God designed Allie as a boy, and then Allie is now claiming to be a girl, right? You would be outside of this original design that God has. And God says, no, I actually designed you as a boy. You know, Proverbs 14:26 says, There's a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death. And so what the Bible is Telling us is actually when we're born into this world, Bryce isn't born as morally neutral. Bryce is born a sinner. I'm sinful, and most of my thoughts and most of the things that I want to do, do would be in rebellion against God, because that's how I'm born into the world. Everyone in this room is born in that way.
- [29:11]
Unknown
Right.
- [29:12]
Bryce Crawford
So. So if I'm sitting here going, oh, I'm thinking about doing this, I'm thinking about doing that, or I'm. I'm just want to go have sex with as many people as I want, or I'm gonna go, when I get angry, I'm gonna hurt this person. Or, well, I was born a boy, but I feel like being a girl, you know, these things would be us rebelling against God. Because imagine God took so much time on you to design you and knit you in your mother's womb. And then when you're born into this world, Satan plants this idea. You're actually not who God designed you to be. And so when you go outside of this design God has for you.
- [29:48]
Ally
Yeah.
- [29:48]
Bryce Crawford
Then it's. Then you're kind of saying, like, screw off, essentially. Does that kind of make sense?
- [29:52]
Ally
Yeah.
- [29:53]
Bryce Crawford
And so, like, it's not just about, like, doing the right things. Jesus tells us that if we want to follow him, we've got to deny ourself and pick up our cross and follow him. Because he says the path is narrow. The. The. The door to heaven is narrow.
- [30:10]
Unknown
Right.
- [30:10]
Bryce Crawford
And so we have to repent, for the kingdom of God is at hand, turn away from our feelings and our ways and kind of walk in that. So when you say, like, you know, you say you're a trans woman, what would you define a woman as?
- [30:25]
Ally
I feel like a woman is. That's such a hard question, you know, because I feel like I would never want to shoebox women into just, like, one phrase. I feel like woman. To me, woman is someone with, like, a vagina. Like, that's a woman. I guess. But I. I guess in, like, today's society, like, there's like, trans men or, you know, honestly, like, I'm just not good at labels. Like, I, I'm. I'm very much. Like, I respect it, but, like, I. I feel like there's something new coming out every day.
- [30:55]
Unknown
Yeah.
- [30:56]
Ally
When it comes to that kind of stuff. And I get it. I respect it, and I'm willing to learn. It's just. It's very hard to.
- [31:02]
Unknown
Yeah.
- [31:02]
Ally
To upkeep with it.
- [31:03]
Bryce Crawford
No, I kind of get what you're saying, I think that there's an abundance of information out there, but I think that there's a lack of clarity. And so when I. Yeah, when I think, like me and you, everyone in the room has X chromosomes, right? But the difference between me and my girlfriend is that I have a Y chromosome. So a man has an XY chromosomes. Women have XX chromosomes, Right. And so if we were to go into a lab, right? They would say, oh, well, you're a man because you have xx. I mean, you have XY chromosomes, Right? I have XY chromosomes. And so, like, when you're born into this world, also, the reason why I asked, like, what happened to your dad is because I believe that, like, when you say, in my brain, you said, when in my brain I felt feminine, but you said what was in between my legs, said I wasn't feminine.
- [31:49]
Unknown
Right.
- [31:50]
Bryce Crawford
In our brain, the Bible tells us we have to renew our mind. It says, do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of our mind. Meaning, like, the initial way Bryce thinks is wicked. And so I have to change the way I think and know what God thinks about me and how I should live by reading the Bible. And it will change the way I think and feel and my thoughts and emotions. And so, like, the reason why I asked about your dad is because I believe that the Bible talks about, like, biblical manhood and biblical, like, womanhood. Like, what. What the role of a man is, what the role of a woman is. And I definitely think it is hard for. It was hard for you growing up as a boy, not having your dad around because you didn't have that, like, father figure there.
- [32:33]
Ally
Well, my dad was around.
- [32:35]
Bryce Crawford
Well, I mean, like, when you were 14, right?
- [32:36]
Ally
No, like, we still went. Like, when he got deported. It was just that he wasn't around, like, physically. No, like, we were just. We would go, like, every weekend in Mexico to go visit him, so.
- [32:46]
Bryce Crawford
Oh, because Tucson's near Mexico.
- [32:48]
Ally
Yeah.
- [32:48]
Bryce Crawford
Okay.
- [32:48]
Ally
So we would still go visit him. Like, my dad being present definitely didn't play into that role.
- [32:53]
Bryce Crawford
Okay. Yeah, gotcha.
- [32:56]
Ally
Yeah, I've, like, for as long as I can remember, I've always been feminine. Like, even, like, my aunts and my uncles will tell you, like, I used to walk into a room with a towel on my head as a baby, like, three years old, and, like, act like it was my hair.
- [33:09]
Bryce Crawford
So do you think God designed you as a man or a woman?
- [33:17]
Ally
I don't know. And I will obviously a man, because I came out of my Mom. With, like, excuse my French, but, like, balls. Like, it is what it is. But I will say sometimes, like, I don't know, this is where I struggle with, with that, with.
- [33:36]
Bryce Crawford
Yeah, I want to keep that conversation open. Like, you can say whatever you want because this is, this is the table.
- [33:40]
Ally
I don't think God gives people more than what they can handle. And I'm not saying God made me trans. I'm not saying the devil made me trans. I'm, I'm just saying in general, I feel like I was put in a situation, like, just to see. Like, like, I don't even know how to explain it. Like, I just feel, I, I just think that, like, God could have, like, would, wouldn't hate me for what I am, you know? And I also, I feel like he wouldn't put me in a situation or give me something that I wouldn't be able to handle.
- [34:23]
Bryce Crawford
I see what you're saying.
- [34:24]
Ally
Yeah.
- [34:25]
Bryce Crawford
So what, so define love for me, Right? So define, like, regular love, like, what is love? And then define God's love for me. So I can kind of understand, like.
- [34:36]
Ally
How you think my version of, like, well, love is love. I feel like love is unconditional. And I feel like that's the way God loves. It's unconditional, huh?
- [34:47]
Unknown
Yeah.
- [34:47]
Bryce Crawford
And so when you say, like, God loves you for who you are.
- [34:52]
Ally
Yeah.
- [34:52]
Bryce Crawford
Explain that to me.
- [34:53]
Ally
Like, Like, I feel like God just loves me for who I am as a person, regardless of what's in between my legs. Like, he loves me for being a kind person, for being someone who's always been a shoulder for other people, who's been like, you know, just for, like, God is able to see outside of that, of, of whatever it is that's going on in my head, you know, or identity or whatever it is.
- [35:21]
Unknown
Yeah.
- [35:21]
Ally
And love me for my soul and not for whatever other I have going on.
- [35:30]
Bryce Crawford
Sure.
- [35:30]
Unknown
Yeah.
- [35:30]
Bryce Crawford
I think the unconditional love is. Right.
- [35:32]
Unknown
Right.
- [35:32]
Bryce Crawford
So some. So I heard, I heard a quote today, actually. I was listening to, like, a sermon this morning, and, and he said, I heard someone say, God doesn't hate, he loves. But this, this pastor said God hates because he loves. And I, I had to sit there for a second because I was like, what could God hate?
- [35:50]
Unknown
Right.
- [35:50]
Bryce Crawford
You know, and I realized God hates sin, he hates wickedness, and he hates that stuff because he loves us.
- [35:56]
Unknown
Right.
- [35:57]
Bryce Crawford
So the example I, I, I give is, like, when I was young, I wanted to eat ice cream all the time for breakfast every morning, and my parents wouldn't let Me. And I thought they were so mean because they wouldn't let me eat breakfast in the morning.
- [36:10]
Ally
Yeah.
- [36:11]
Bryce Crawford
But I realized later on, as I got older, that they did love me because there were. It was. It was unhealthy for me to do that. And I could have probably developed diabetes if I ate every day, you know, and things like that. So really, they did love me. They were protecting me. I thought they were just mean.
- [36:25]
Unknown
Right.
- [36:26]
Ally
Yeah.
- [36:26]
Bryce Crawford
And so in the same way, I don't think God is trying to be a cosmic buzz kill and stop you by saying, oh, I hate you. No, I think God loves you, but God loves who he created you to be. And I think he created you to be that man that you were born as.
- [36:45]
Unknown
Right.
- [36:45]
Bryce Crawford
And so you have society, you know, abundance of opinions, abundant abundance of things. I say, no, like, Ally, you know, you do your thing, you do your thing, you do your thing. But to me, the more makeup you may put on or, like, things like that and blah, blah, blah, it is encouraging you to not be who God originally designed you because they kind of make sense, like.
- [37:04]
Ally
Yeah, I can see that. Mm. I don't. I don't disagree with you, but I also don't agree with you. What's that part?
- [37:17]
Bryce Crawford
You're kind of, like, neutral on that?
- [37:19]
Ally
Yeah, kind of.
- [37:21]
Unknown
Yeah.
- [37:21]
Ally
Because for me, like, the hair and makeup and stuff, like, I can walk out of the house with. Without any of it and still feel the way that I feel.
- [37:30]
Bryce Crawford
Sure.
- [37:30]
Ally
Like, to me, the hair and makeup is just. It's an accessory. Like, it's. It's cute, it's whatever. But I feel like it wouldn't add or take away to what it is.
- [37:40]
Bryce Crawford
It like the feelings that you have.
- [37:42]
Ally
Yeah, right. It wouldn't. It wouldn't anything.
- [37:44]
Bryce Crawford
Right. So my feelings, right. Like I mentioned earlier, if I get angry, right. I might have the feeling like, oh, I want to hurt that person. My feelings wouldn't be the best. Right. Like, our feelings can be good servants. This is why I say feelings can be good servants.
- [37:59]
Unknown
Right.
- [38:00]
Bryce Crawford
If I have. If someone comes in my house and I feel uncomfortable, it might be. Maybe there's something off, you know, the discernment. But my feelings shouldn't be my master. Meaning if I live my entire life off of feelings, then I would have hurt more people. I would have done a lot more things I shouldn't have done.
- [38:14]
Unknown
Right.
- [38:15]
Bryce Crawford
And so I think when you're born as. Because you and I, we were born the same in the sense that we were born as sinners. We're born to a sinful world. And our nature inherently is to naturally rebel against God. So if your feelings are saying, oh, I'm feminine, I'm feminine, I'm feminine, you know, in your brain. But your physical definition of your body and who you are and who God has designed you to be says, oh, you're a boy.
- [38:39]
Unknown
Right?
- [38:40]
Bryce Crawford
Then that's the part of the Bible where it's like, kill your flesh, you know, kill your desires. That's the whole point. Deny yourself. You know, kill your flesh. Kill what you want to do and do what God wants you to do, because he's ultimately right. You know, if we believe. If you and I both say, hey, I believe in God, I believe God is Lord, right? Not just my Savior. I believe He's Lord. If I believe He's Lord, then that means I'm going to trust and do what he says, because I believe his way is better than my way. And so that goes across the board for everything. Sexuality, actions, like what I do with my money, everything. Like, I believe he is Lord, so I'm going to do it. And anytime I rebel against that, that is sin.
- [39:21]
Unknown
Right.
- [39:21]
Bryce Crawford
And my sin separates me from God.
- [39:23]
Ally
Yeah.
- [39:24]
Bryce Crawford
But I think the hope of Jesus is that, like, he can save us from that. He can change our desires. Like, there are things that I desired before I put my faith in Christ.
- [39:34]
Ally
Yeah.
- [39:35]
Bryce Crawford
That now that my faith is in Jesus and I read my Bible, it has changed my desires and changed what I wanted. You kind of see what I'm saying? Yeah, I think. And, like, one thing that I really hate, and I want you to know, too, like. Like when we were. You know, I've been wanting you to come on my podcast for a while, and I've done research and looked at and, you know, watched videos about you and things like that. And one thing I hate, and I wanted to bring this up, and I want you to know that God hates it, too, is when people make fun of you and call you names and call you, like, Gorlok and all that other stuff. I hate that. And God hates that.
- [40:09]
Ally
Yeah.
- [40:09]
Bryce Crawford
Because they're slapping God in the face because they made you.
- [40:12]
Unknown
Right.
- [40:13]
Bryce Crawford
But God made you as a man.
- [40:16]
Ally
Yeah.
- [40:16]
Bryce Crawford
And you see what I'm saying? And so I just want you to know, like, God does love you. But I believe God loves Raymundo and sees you, and you'll never stop being his little boy. And I think God can actually change those desires in our heart. Like what? Like if. If God revealed himself to you in a dream. Let me give you a Hypothetical situation. You have a dream tonight you go. You go home tonight you sleep. You have a dream. And God speaks to you in this dream. And he's like, hey, listen, like, I love you. There's relationship on the table with me and you. But the thing that's stopping me from deeper intimacy with you or deeper friendship with you is you being trans. That's separating you. Would you leave that lifestyle behind for God or. Or what do you think?
- [41:12]
Ally
Honestly, I can't answer that question because I've never been in that situation. What I will say is, like, I have definitely been very deep in my faith at one point to where, like, I've bawled my eyes out to God to, like, I. And this is where I feel like a lot of people in religion get confused, honestly, where they think that, like, I mean, to a certain extent, it is a choice. Like, I'm. I'm not going to sit here and say that it isn't. But with that being said, I'm Like, I don't see. Like, I don't see Raymond doing me. Like, I don't see that person anymore. Like, that's. That. That wasn't me. That was. That was maybe something I presented as. But that's. That's not who I am. Like, I'm Ali. Like, I'm Ali. I've always been ally. Like, I've never. Like, I've never been able to. To see Raymundo in the mirror and to feel love or to feel a certain way. So when it comes to God, at least for me, like, and I'm not. In no way am I saying that I disagree with you, because everything you're saying is. I've heard it before. I've heard it in my Bible, and it's something that's very true in the aspect of religion. I'm just speaking from my point of view and my testimony. Like, I have never identified with Raimundo. Like, I have never felt in my skin as Raymundo. I've never been one with that version of myself. So when I finally did decide to step into my shoes as Ali, I've never felt so free. I've never felt more myself or felt love for myself or felt happy or felt, like, at peace. And it's more so because of the fact that, like, it's. It's what makes. It's what. It's what brought me my happiness. Like, how can I sit here too and be like, okay, yeah, maybe, like, I'll pray, whatever. And, like, let's say I take out my extension Shave my head and get off my hormones. Like, what am I going to do? Go back to being depressed? Go back to hating myself? Go back to the suicidal little 16 year old who like almost offed himself because of like how insecure I was and how ugly I felt and how sad I was? Like, no, like I'm sorry. Like, yeah, maybe it does go against God's word and maybe it is selfish of me. But then again that comes back to like where I don't feel like God would put me in this place to make me like hate like myself or make me, make me not want to love myself. You know? And that's what I mean when I say this is my conflict with religion where it's like, yeah, everybody tells me, like, or especially in the Bible or at church, like, yeah, maybe like God will come one day and he'll heal you and he'll take that away from you. Okay, like when is that gonna come? Because I've tried. This isn't something I wish upon anybody. I would never recommend, like, oh yeah, just jump to transition one day. Unless it's something they legitimately felt like they felt like they had to do scientifically. Does that make me like a crazy person? Probably. But at the same time I'd rather be crazy than not be here.
- [44:54]
Bryce Crawford
I see what you're saying.
- [44:55]
Ally
Like that and that's what, that's where my, my, my, my, like my friction with religion or Christianity or the Bible comes in because of the fact of like, okay, like I don't see like if God were to really come down here and take this away from me and make me happy. Sure, let's do it. Let's like get me on board. But it's not something I haven't tried.
- [45:18]
Bryce Crawford
Sure, I see what you're saying. I feel like, you know, sin is fun for a season and sin feels like freedom until you try to stop. Then it then doesn't feel like freedom.
- [45:27]
Unknown
Right.
- [45:27]
Bryce Crawford
And so I think like, you know, feelings, like I feel, I feel, I feel feelings are a good thing.
- [45:34]
Unknown
Right?
- [45:35]
Bryce Crawford
But you know, like I said earlier, like my anger can make me feel like I want to kill someone. Like, oh man, I'm going to kill that dude. I'm so angry. But above my feelings, the truth on a piece of paper would say don't kill someone. You know what I mean?
- [45:47]
Ally
Exactly.
- [45:47]
Bryce Crawford
So, so truth, like prioritizing the feelings. And so the first, the, the first thing I want to say is like, you know, heaven and hell are real. Heaven being unity with God, hell being separation, or God From God. The thing that separates us from God is rebellion and sin against God, you know, so. So people are going to hell for more than just sexuality. But God cares about sexuality. And so because God cares about sexuality, we. We have to take that because it's different than any other sin, because it's a sin against our own body. Right.
- [46:21]
Ally
That's where I kind of disagree, though, because I feel like sin is a sin.
- [46:26]
Bryce Crawford
Like, so, like, sin separates us from God. Like, sin from a definition standpoint in.
- [46:32]
Ally
General separates us from God.
- [46:33]
Unknown
Right.
- [46:34]
Ally
But, like, what makes, like, a murderer? Like, like, worse or, like, better? Like, obviously, murder is horrible, and it's probably. No comparing.
- [46:42]
Bryce Crawford
But, like, from a moral standpoint.
- [46:44]
Ally
Yeah, from a moral standpoint. But sin is a sin.
- [46:47]
Unknown
Yes.
- [46:47]
Right.
- [46:48]
Ally
You know, and sinning is sinning. That's like. And that's like when. This is when I. Where I kind of clash with people who, like, kind of come at me. And I don't want you to think that I'm coming at you in any way kind of form, but, like, this is where I kind of get not upset, but, like, where I get defensive because I'm like, okay. In the Bible, it says you shouldn't be mixing threads. In the Bible, it says you shouldn't be mixing meat or eating meat on Fridays or whatever the case may be. There's a lot of things in the Bible where, like. Where it's basically like, a sin.
- [47:16]
Unknown
Yeah.
- [47:16]
Ally
You know, it's a. It's. It's like, for example, like, you should not have false idols. It's in the Ten Commandments. And we listen. We idolize social media stars. We idolize music people. We idolize everything. There's so many other sins. And this is where it kind of. It doesn't upset me, but where it blows my mind is that, like, people are so quick, especially in the aspects of religion, to call out people who are in the LGBTQ community, but they don't realize. I'm like, dude, you're sinning just as. Not as bad as me. What makes your sin worse than mine?
- [47:52]
Unknown
Yeah.
- [47:52]
Ally
Or what makes my sin worse than yours?
- [47:54]
Bryce Crawford
For sure.
- [47:55]
Ally
And that's where I get that. And I get in the Bible, it says, too. And I. And I'm all for it, too, because I'd be sharing, like, about God, and I'd be talking to my friends about God, too. Like, girl, go to church. Like, you know, stuff like that. Like, recommending it and. And just sharing his gospel. But I feel like there's a big difference between sharing his gospel and condemning people. And that's where I feel like today, especially in a lot of churches. And this is why, like, I have, like, my. My. My spirit. Like, my reasons for not going to church sometimes is because there's a difference between sharing his word and condemning and judging people. And I feel like a lot of people get that confused because. Because they think that that's the exact same thing.
- [48:31]
Bryce Crawford
Sure.
- [48:32]
Unknown
Right.
- [48:32]
Bryce Crawford
So, like, if. I think. I totally understand. I think there are a lot of people today that will abuse and condemn. You know, the Bible talks about, like, if you're gonna point someone's sin out in their life, like, look in your own life first. Look at the log in your own eye. I totally understand that.
- [48:45]
Unknown
Right?
- [48:46]
Bryce Crawford
And I got my own junk going on too. Everyone's got their own junk going on. And I don't want you to think I'm just sitting here condemning. I'm just trying to offer perspective, right? Like, yeah, sin. All is equal in the sense that it. All sin separates us from God. Me lying would separate me from God the same way it's a murderer separate from God, from sin. But morally speaking, right? The Bible says that, like, with sexuality, any sexual immorality, anything like sex inside of marriage, you know, any. Anything to do with sexual sin is a sin against our own body. That makes it different.
- [49:18]
Unknown
Right?
- [49:19]
Bryce Crawford
And so when you said the mixing threads and the meat in Leviticus, there's three different types of laws. You have ceremonial laws, so the mixing of meat was a ceremonial law. You have moral laws, and then you have civil laws. And so under these, moral laws would be like murdering people. It would be. It would be. With sexuality, it would be lying. It would be all these things, right? And so with moral law, right? Morality, that stuff still applies today. You know, and so I. I don't. I don't want you to think that, like. Like, yeah, with moral law, we have to look to Jesus Christ and say, God, change my heart, change my morals.
- [50:01]
Unknown
Right?
- [50:01]
Bryce Crawford
And so I think, like. Like you said, there are a lot of people that come across intense and condemn, but I think what those people are trying to do, not just with you, but with everyone, because they do it a lot of other people too, not just the LGBTQ community. What they're trying to do is they're saying, like, etc, hey, there's, like, a way that. There's a way called righteousness that God has described in this Bible. And that's why John chapter one says, the Word became flesh and dwelt among us. Jesus being the word, saying the Bible this righteousness that God describes perfection is like, we can live out righteousness in this lifetime. Jesus shows us that it's possible to live in obedience to God. And so when these people are kind of preaching the Bible and saying, hey, don't have sex outside of marriage. Like, if you were born a man, be a man. If you're born a woman, being a woman, hey, don't be prideful, don't get angry at your brother. Resolve these things. They're preaching all these things because they, they want people to know that they care and, and that God cares about that stuff. You know what I'm saying? And, and so, like, I, I look, I have the same hurt in the same way. Like, I grew up and I hated a lot of churches because they were telling me what to do with my life. And I would see them around my town doing the total opposite of what they were telling me to do. And it really frustrated me, and it made me feel like God was a big hypocrite. But what I realized is humans are broken, and they may have been hypocrites, but God's not a hypocrite. And so I can't let. That's the equivalent of, like, I thought God was what these people were showing me with their actions, but it wasn't. That's like me talking to your friends and your family, people that went to school with you to tell me who you are, and they could fill in the picture. People would have good things to say, people would have bad things to say. But if I wanted to get to know you, we'd hang out like we're doing right now, and we'd go get food and we'd spend time together. You know what I mean? And then I'd get to know who you were, and you would get to know me. And I think in that same way, like, if we really want to know what God, God thinks, we have to read. Read the Bible and, and, and, and consume it. And even when we don't agree or even when we don't fully understand, the Bible tells us if anyone lacks wisdom, if we don't understand, ask God and he will generously give it to you. And so I think, like, when you're navigating these situations, like, or navigating like, the, the hurt from people and navigating the confusion and trying to understand, like, maybe one of your prayers because you say you pray a lot, it's like, hey, God, can you give me clarity and wisdom on this topic and what I'm going through? Because I Believe he will give it to you. And God looks at the heart and. And sees that stuff. You know what I'm saying?
- [52:33]
Ally
Yeah.
- [52:34]
Unknown
Yeah.
- [52:34]
Ally
And I think overall, one of the aspects of religion comes into play. I just hope people, like, can look beyond the surface level of, I guess, whether if it's, like, sin or whether or not they agree, and they can just look past and see people are good people and, you know, and it's just not their place to judge, especially in the house of God. And just like I said, love is unconditional, regardless of whatever it is that we're going through. And I feel like that's where I think my experience is when it comes to being in church.
- [53:19]
Unknown
Yeah.
- [53:20]
Ally
And I think. I feel like once people who are in church can see that and look past the sin, then I feel like that's where I would be. I would find my peace.
- [53:34]
Bryce Crawford
Sure.
- [53:35]
Ally
Because like I said, I talk to God. I very much have a relationship with God, but that's where my. Where I lack is going to church, because I don't feel that.
- [53:46]
Unknown
Yeah.
- [53:46]
Ally
From the people who go there, for sure.
- [53:49]
Bryce Crawford
For you personally, before we close, we kind of talked about your perspective. We talked about the Bible. What do you think God thinks about you being trans? What do you think personally?
- [54:04]
Ally
You know what? I don't know what he thinks about it. Maybe he likes it, maybe he doesn't like it. I'm pretty sure he doesn't, because in the Bible, it. It. There's scripture in it that, you know, that says otherwise. But what I can say is I know God loves me unconditionally. I know that. And that's like. That's really all I have to say about it.
- [54:29]
Unknown
Yeah.
- [54:29]
Ally
You know, and I feel like if. If God didn't love me or if God wasn't there, he wouldn't have opened so many doors for me. And I feel like I. I felt his love around me too many times to know that he's. He's not there. So. Yeah, that's all I can. That's all I want to say about that.
- [54:51]
Bryce Crawford
Yeah. God is there, and God does love you and he sees you. And I think that our conversation today is like a beautiful invitation to more relationship with God and even a beautiful invitation to these things, to the table with God and say, okay, God, please help me know how you feel about this. And, like, please bring that thing. I would love to pray for you before we get. Before we end the podcast and just if that'd be okay. Is that okay?
- [55:17]
Ally
Yeah, we can pray.
- [55:18]
Bryce Crawford
Yeah. Thanks. So much Jesus thank you so much for my new friend. God thank you that you love them and see them. Oh my God we just ask for your conviction first of all to lay on both of us. God would you bring conviction in our lives and and reveal yourself to us in that way through conviction? God would you draw him closer to you? God we just thank you God we ask that your word says if anyone lacks wisdom we can ask you and you would generously give it to us. So God would you give us both wisdom on what the Bible is saying, how to navigate through life, how to navigate our feelings. And God we just thank you for this day. We love you and bless you in Jesus name. Amen.
- [55:55]
Ally
Amen.
- [55:56]
Bryce Crawford
Guys, thank you so much for watching and listening to this episode. If you guys like it, subscribe to us on YouTube, follow us on Spotify, Instagram and Tick Tock. Bless you guys and see you guys next week for the next episode.