← The Bryce Crawford Podcast
The Bryce Crawford Podcast
Lecrae Opens Up About Church Hurt, Diddy Parties & Depression (EP 210)
01:02:53
Loading summary
Transcript197 lines
- [00:00]
Bryce Crawford
Went to a diddy party.
- [00:01]
Lecrae
There are the diddy, crazy, debaucherous, nasty events that he had. And then there are the entertainment presses invited events that he has. I don't know anything about the nasty one. I never been to anything like that. Have I been to an event where it got a little dicey? Yes. After midnight, it gets kind of wild. French Montana was like, hey, man, you want to go with us to celebrate at the strip club? And I was like, nah, bro. He's like, nah, like, what, you some kind of Christian rapper, something? I was like, I am a Christian. They was like, he sold his soul. That's when it started to get ugly.
- [00:32]
Bryce Crawford
You had a season where you wanted to take your life?
- [00:34]
Lecrae
Oh, for.
- [00:35]
Bryce Crawford
Yes.
- [00:36]
Lecrae
All I kept thinking about was my little kids at the time finding my lifeless body and the trauma that would have caused them. God, I don't know if you're real. It was like a faint voice that was like, I'm here. I'm real. And I wish I would have listened to that voice.
- [00:52]
Bryce Crawford
Hey, before we get into today's episode, I want to share two quick things with you. First, if these videos have meant anything to you, if they've encouraged your faith or helped you see the gospel a little bit more clearly, I just want to ask you to subscribe. A lot of people tune in every single week and haven't hit the button yet. It only takes two seconds, and it helps us keep putting these conversations in front of people who need them. And the second thing, this one I've honestly been really excited to say. I'm officially announcing our ministry's biggest live event to date, Open Heaven Live Podcast tour. It's happening November 8th this year at the Pavilion at Toyota Music Factory in Irving, Texas. This is going to be a night centered around worship, faith, real conversations, and genuine community. I believe God is going to move in a powerful way, and I would love for you to be in the room. Tickets are on sale right now. You can head to Bryce crawford.org/tour or just click the link in the description below. And please only get your tickets through my official site or that link below. I recommend not buying from random resellers online. I believe this is going to be a really special night, and I hope to see you there. All right, let's get into the episode. What's going on, guys? Welcome back to another episode of the Bryce Crawford Podcast. I'm Bryce, and today I'm with a special guest. Today we're here with Lecrae.
- [01:54]
Lecrae
Yes, sir.
- [01:54]
Bryce Crawford
Come on. How you feeling?
- [01:55]
Lecrae
I'm great, man. Good to be with you.
- [01:57]
Bryce Crawford
You know, I admire you a lot because you have been following Jesus in an industry that can be labeled a lot of different things. Light, dark, good, bad, everything in between, through success, through criticism, through hardship, through trial. Before we get into kind of all the details, I really want to know, where do you believe God has you right now?
- [02:19]
Lecrae
That's a great question. I think I've always been a bridge. You know, I think the Lord, the, the laborers are few to harvest is plenty. But a lot of people don't see when they see like the music industry or they see like hip hop or rap world, they don't see a harvest. And I think I'm like a bridge trying to help people see, like that's the harvest. There's not a lot of workers over there. That's the problem.
- [02:47]
Bryce Crawford
Right.
- [02:47]
Lecrae
The laborers are few. So I just see like, like God using me as a missionary, but I'm in a strange land where people are a little bit afraid to touch. Like it's a little dark and dangerous over here. But I. I love it. I love being in the. In the place and in the space.
- [03:02]
Bryce Crawford
Well, you've been doing this for like 20ish years, right? 20ish years. And. Yeah, you know, I just gotta throw this in there.
- [03:10]
Lecrae
Come on.
- [03:10]
Bryce Crawford
Right. Like, I'm 22. Yeah. So it's like, you know, could you maybe be my dad maybe? But, but, but you're like one of those dudes that, like, you know, you know how I. Out of courtesy, you tell someone. Oh, no, no. Like, you don't look old. Yeah, but you're like doing it out of courtesy because you just kind of like feel bad with this. Respectful. Yeah, you actually don't look old, you know, that's a good thing.
- [03:30]
Lecrae
My son is 18. We travel together a lot. And they're always like, yeah, your little brothers. Yeah, y' all look just alike, you know, like, I'll take that, man. I'm like, my mom, my mom's like 70. She's on tick tock. She's just still, you know, I got the same kind of energy of just like, you know, not trying to be something I'm not, but still trying to connect and understand what's going on.
- [03:50]
Bryce Crawford
So in the 20ish years that you've been doing this, what has been the hardest thing about following Jesus while people are always watching you?
- [03:57]
Lecrae
The hardest thing for me about following Jesus while people are eyes are on me is failing. Right, because the world sees you fail. Most people get to Fail. In private, most people can, like, mess up. Or it's like, ah, shoot, I dropped the ball right here. You may be with your friends, and somebody asks you a question about your views on something, and you give an answer, you know, and then they were like, I don't know about that, bro. And you're like, oh, I didn't think about it like that. And then, you know, you. Your view changes. Yeah, but as a public figure, you give your perspective on something in front of the camera and you grow. You may be like, ah, shoot, that's not where I stand right now. But it's too late, because that's how everybody looks at me because of something that I said. So the hardest part is, is having to grow. And the other hard part for me, I'll just tell the story, because I was just telling. Talking to Pastor Philip Mitchell yesterday, and I was telling him a story. I said, you know, in the early 2000s, I heard this rapper, and he wrote the song about his faith. And. And I was on Twitter. I had more followers than him at the time, right? So I reached out to him and I was like, hey, man, I heard you write this song about the faith. Love to talk with you more about it. We just started dialoguing. We exchanged information, exchanged numbers. We just kept talking, kept talking year after year after year after year. And that person is Kendrick Lamar. You know what I'm saying? But a lot of people would say, you're just trying to be, you know, liked by the world. And I was like, man, I was more popular than him when I reached out to him, you know what I'm saying? So it's really just still just trying to be a missionary. But people don't get to see that. They don't get to understand the why. They just assume from the outside looking in.
- [05:46]
Bryce Crawford
So, like, when did you realize that following Jesus in that public way would cost you things in private?
- [05:52]
Lecrae
When I did this mixtape called Church Clothes, at first, everybody was cheering for me. You know, I was like, double xl, the BET Freestyle freestyle battle. It's like me and Meek Mill and Rick Ross and a whole bunch of other rappers, you know, at the time. And. And everybody was cheering for me. And they were like, yeah, yeah, yeah, look at the Christian guys. He's on our side. And. And I wrapped and I did my thing. And I remember French Montana was like, hey, man, you killed that.
- [06:23]
Bryce Crawford
Who?
- [06:24]
Lecrae
That was super dope. You want to go with us to celebrate at the strip club? And I was like, nah, bro. He's like, nah. Like what, you some kind of Christian rapper or something? I was like, I am a Christian. And I was like, yo, these people are unexposed to me and my music. I need to make a mixtape to connect with them so they can hear this. So I made the mixtape, but I did it with a very prominent, like, secular dj, DJ Don Cannon. And. And people really like, hated on me for that. They was like, yo, man, he sold his soul. And that's when it started. It was like, why are you connecting with the world and what is going on? And for me, I was like, I'm trying to reach them.
- [07:01]
Bryce Crawford
Yeah.
- [07:02]
Lecrae
I'm not trying to like, champion sin. And that's when it started. That's when it started to get ugly.
- [07:08]
Bryce Crawford
Wow, that's so interesting. I, you know, I was having. I'm asking these questions in particular because that's something that, like, I'm trying to figure out. So how old were you when you started this?
- [07:19]
Lecrae
About your age?
- [07:20]
Bryce Crawford
Yeah. So I think, I think that's interesting because I, I'm having so many different questions and like, run ins and I don't understand. And I think it could be hard because I start. We started our ministry when I was 20, so it was kind of like some similar stuff. And you know, our deal is like, oh, we love talking to nonbelievers. Like, that's our deal. We were just talking about earlier, like KKK leader or, you know, going into this environment or that environment and. Or even talking to people that may be in the Christian space that I'm like, hey, I love you, but I disagree. And honestly, the thing that has been the hardest for me is the friendly fire in Christianity of going like, wait, hold on a second. I thought, like, I thought we were all chasing the same goal. Like, what do you mean? Or no, I didn't mean that. But like, you said that kind of thing and that just kind of. That's been like such a hard thing for me to navigate. Has it been hard trusting people or was it hard for you trusting people as you were creating the mixtapes, releasing the songs and God's blessing you with influence? How hard was it to trust people and pick who trust?
- [08:29]
Lecrae
Yeah, it got dark for me. And I, and I. And I always want to fight for believers like yourself to not have to go through that darkness that I experienced because I started mistaking the friendly fire and like the hurt that I was experiencing as a God hurt, not a people hurt. I started getting bitter with God, like, why are you letting your people attack me like this? And you know I remember it in one of my really dark moments, man. I was just kind of like, man, what am I doing wrong? You know, I'm. I'm. I'm trying to lead people to Jesus. I'm trying to share the truth. At this time, you know, my wife and I had moved into the trap. Like, we literally moved into the trap. So I was in there constantly, and I was hearing these kids and hearing these stories and hearing the things that they were saying about my music. And so I was like, okay, I need to change this. I need to do this. And as I'm making these adjustments, there's more friendly fire. Oh, you're being worldly. Oh, why are you doing this? Why are you doing that? And. And I remember just praying, man. It bothered me so bad, you know, I remember praying and the Lord showed me, the spirit showed me, like, this is what Jesus went through. You know what I mean? Like, they were so upset at him because of the way he was maneuvering. It was so countercultural to them that they were like, we gotta kill this guy. He's blaspheming. And I think that's what they wanna do to us, in a sense. They want to. To cult, to, like, socially kill us, right? Not, like literally, but it's like, I wanna kill your work. And I think that's just the work of the enemy, man. It's just trying to allow people to rail against us. And so missionaries are pretty much always misunderstood. They're just some of the most misunderstood individuals because they're really in the culture. It's like being an undercover cop, bro. You know, it's like, that's really misunderstood place because all the other cops out there see you as, like, a criminal because you can't tell them, like, I'm undercover right now. You know what I mean? And so they're just like, what are you doing? And you don't want to go out and say, well, I just share with this guy, because now you're betraying his trust and you know so many things. And so, yeah, it's just. It's a tough space to be in. But I think. I think it's rewarding because if you're not there, who is?
- [11:01]
Bryce Crawford
Yeah.
- [11:02]
Lecrae
You know?
- [11:02]
Bryce Crawford
Yeah.
- [11:02]
Lecrae
Who else was in. Gonna sit with that. That KKK pastor if you didn't.
- [11:06]
Bryce Crawford
Yeah.
- [11:07]
Lecrae
You know what I mean?
- [11:08]
Bryce Crawford
So how do you. How do you keep pointing people to Jesus when people are always looking at you? I think the mistake that people make, like, I can't remember, I read this a while ago, but there's some psychological thing how, like, through social media, you can subconsciously build a relationship with someone, like, over the screen, just from, like, consuming their content. So, like, oh, you know, I'm a big fan of Lecrae. I listen to his music, I follow him on socials, and I see Lecrae for the first time, and it's like, yo, I think we're best friends. And so, like, maybe there's this. There's definitely this temptation online to make Lecrae the point of, oh, I got to look to him. He's my role model. He's this. How do you continue to point people back to Jesus when people are always looking at you?
- [11:50]
Lecrae
Yeah. When people began to lift you up, unfortunately, they're lifting you up to a standard that you'll never be able to live up to. Right. So they're ultimately. Right. Rising you up so they can tear you down because they're putting you on a pedestal in a place where they're seeing you as the example, not realizing that they've. They've created their own idea of who you are and how you should be. And when you don't live up to it, they're disappointed in you. You have destroyed their hope because they had so much hope in you being who they wanted you to be.
- [12:33]
Bryce Crawford
Wow.
- [12:34]
Lecrae
And it actually says more about them than it does about you. I don't know. Usually what ends up happening, because I've been in this long enough to see the full circle, what ends up happening is, man, you got to stay your race. You got to stay on your path, you got to stay consistent. And down the line, they end up coming around and saying, I was wrong, bro, I misjudged you, bro. I didn't catch this. Because they matured, right? They've matured. In some ways. Life just has a way of maturing people. You know, I used to get into it with so many people back in the day online, and I have emails. I was just yesterday going through some emails, and I remember going through this email of this one guy, and I was like, oh, shoot, this guy used to be on my head all the time. And look at him. He's. He's apologizing. Wow, he's come around. And so I. I just think at the end of the day, you're never going to be able to get people to see you're not the source. You got to just keep pointing to Jesus, point to Jesus, point of Jesus. And, I mean, if that was the case, John the Baptist would. Wouldn't. Wouldn't have had to say, I'm not fit to tie his shoelaces. I'm not the guy.
- [13:46]
Bryce Crawford
Whoa.
- [13:47]
Lecrae
He would have never had to say that. But he had to say that because people kept, you're the guy. You're the guy. You're the guy. He's like, I'm not the guy. I'm not even fit to tie his shoelaces. So I don't think you'll ever get to a place where people are going to stop. But I do think if you're consistent, just be consistent, eventually people are going to start coming around and saying, okay, I see, I see.
- [14:10]
Bryce Crawford
So what's something about Christian influence that you had to learn the hard way that no one told you about?
- [14:15]
Lecrae
Well, one. Nobody. Nobody told me anything. Right. Because for me, I was the first person to navigate some of the spaces that I've had.
- [14:24]
Bryce Crawford
Yeah. I guess that uncharted territory.
- [14:26]
Lecrae
So nobody told me anything. It was kind of all they told me was, don't do this. Don't go there. That's dangerous. And I was like, but you've. You've never been. You know what I mean?
- [14:35]
Bryce Crawford
Yeah.
- [14:35]
Lecrae
So it's. It's kind of like this. It's like. It's like a. A bear hunter, right? And you're. You're out there, you're hunting bears. You're just, oh, man, I'm bear hunting. Bear hunting. And somebody discovers that you killed a bear, and they're like, yo, this guy killed a bear. We never knew there was bear killers. How you killed a grizzly. And then they come grab you, and then they. They take you on this tour, and all you're doing all the time is telling everybody about the bear you killed. Man, I killed this bear. And how'd you do it? I did this. And what did you. I did this. And before long, you're spending so much time telling everybody about how you killed a bear, you're not killing bears anymore. You know what I mean? And that's kind of how the church tends to function, is everybody wants to hear the story about the bear killer, but no one wants to go out there and kill bears.
- [15:24]
Bryce Crawford
Wow.
- [15:25]
Lecrae
So.
- [15:25]
Bryce Crawford
Wow.
- [15:26]
Lecrae
So they start judging people because they don't know what it's like to be amongst the bears. They don't get it. They're like, why aren't you doing this and doing this? And we're supposed to.
- [15:39]
Bryce Crawford
Bro.
- [15:39]
Lecrae
We're literally supposed to be like hounds on a fox hunt, right? And the. The hounds job is to go find a fox, catch the fox. The fox is the Hearts of men. We are the hounds we're going after to sow seeds and throw seeds into the hearts of men. That's our job. But when there's no fox to chase, when you stop chasing the fox, when the hounds stop chasing the fox, you know what they start doing? They start fighting each other because they don't have a mission. So they start battling, the dogs start getting into it. And I think that's the issue with the church a lot of times is, man, we're not chasing the hound. We're so we're fighting each other instead of going after the hearts of people and we start fighting about how you didn't do it right. Well, you didn't do it right. You should have did this. You should have did this. Meanwhile, we're just sitting on our couch scrolling, looking at how everybody else is doing it instead of doing it ourselves. You know what I mean? And that's.
- [16:37]
Bryce Crawford
Dang, you know, I fully agree with that. I can't remember, I've been thinking about this a lot. We always want to preach about mental health within the church, but the body of Christ cuts itself every day. We argue over, oh, you did this wrong, you did that wrong, or you shouldn't have done this. And I fully agree. You know, it's because so many people, you really pioneered this hip hop journey with bringing faith into it. And you know, no one else, no one else could take the shots for you because you're like really the first guy to do it. And people are going, oh, you're doing this wrong. You're doing this wrong. But then they're like, they're not even a musician. Yeah. And it's like, bro, what are you saying?
- [17:19]
Lecrae
I'd be more, come show me, please. How would you do this? Nobody's ever done this before. I don't know how you would you do this.
- [17:26]
Bryce Crawford
You know, So I think that's so funny. Do you, do you ever feel bad like that you were, for lack of better terms, like a, like almost like a test subject for this? Not even just in the hip hop realm. Like I'm really just talking about Christian influence. Cuz really outside of. I have a lot of respect for like the pastors that like when Instagram first came out, like they got influence like on, on Instagram and stuff like that. And you can, you know, so called mega church pastor, you know, Christian celebrity pastor, whatever you want to call it. But like I, I consider that like a separate realm than like someone like you who's really pioneering that.
- [18:03]
Lecrae
Was that hard or yeah, it's super hard, man. It's super hard because you just don't have a roadmap. You know what I mean? A lot of what I learned is, like, you. You're in the mix, and you don't have a roadmap for how this. This thing goes. So when I'm sitting on the Breakfast Club talking to Charlamagne to God, everyone's like, you need to say this. You need to say this, and make sure you say Jesus ten times, and make sure you share the gospel and make sure you do this. And I'm like, I'm never going to get it right for y', all, right? Because if I say Jesus three times, is three times too little. You know what I'm saying? And then they're like, why didn't you share the gospel with them? Well, I did. It just wasn't on camera, you know what I mean? Because this wasn't the place for that. Like, you know? And I think that's what people think is they're like, yo, why didn't you take advantage of the time you were on camera in front of all those people? And I really think what they're misunderstanding is that, like, we treat the gospel message like a salesman, like, we got to seal the deal, instead of it being a transformational message of a king who's coming. And it's not about trying to jam it down somebody's throat really quick. It's about, man, where are you hurt? Like the woman at the well. Where do you need this truth to transform you? And let me speak into that particular place. And so when I'm sitting there with a news reporter, I mean, you've never done it, I've never done it. How do we do it? You can sit back and tell me how you think it should be done, but when you're sitting there on Jimmy Fallon with millions of eyes on you, it's like, okay, I got 90 seconds. Did Jesus die for everybody sins? All right, bye. You know what I mean? There's no rule book roadmap to that. So I just had to, like, piece it together. And. And sometimes I did that, and sometimes I thought, man, maybe I should just, like, do this song and let people get invested in the song, and then they'll hear the gospel message and that whole album, and. Or, maybe, you know, they'll follow me. I've got plenty of tick tock sermonettes where I'm sharing the gospel.
- [20:24]
Bryce Crawford
Yeah.
- [20:24]
Lecrae
So, you know, but there's no map, man. And so the hardest thing was just like, everybody Judging you but not realizing, man, you don't have a roadmap for this. You try to figure it out.
- [20:33]
Bryce Crawford
I don't want people to miss that bear analogy you made because I can't stop thinking about it. It's so true. Really. I'm like, man, we got so many people who wanna. And, and, And I. I can be the first to say, like, I've fallen victim to this before too, because I'm human. But it's like, maybe before I criticize for someone stepping out and doing something that I haven't done, or much less. If you want to be honest with yourself, don't criticize someone for something that you're not willing to step out and do. And that. And like, that's really the beauty of the body of Christ. It's like, I don't. Not everybody has to be the mouth. Not everybody. You know, we're like a body. We work together. And I thought that was gold.
- [21:11]
Lecrae
That was beautiful. It's unfortunate. That's where we are though, man. You know, it's like we all say what we would do. You know, I'm. I watch sports all the time and I'm like screaming at television, oh, no, dude, he should have did, bro. I'm not in. I'm not a pro athlete.
- [21:26]
Bryce Crawford
Yeah.
- [21:27]
Lecrae
I couldn't make it.
- [21:28]
Bryce Crawford
Yeah.
- [21:28]
Lecrae
You know, all I have is my opinions.
- [21:31]
Bryce Crawford
You're saying that, bro, I'm getting convicted right now. I'm like, literally yelling at the TV last night or this morning.
- [21:36]
Lecrae
Whatever, bro.
- [21:37]
Bryce Crawford
I was watching like Sports center top 10 or something on. On the treadmill this morning. I'm like, dude, what the heck is that guy?
- [21:44]
Lecrae
Yeah, bro.
- [21:45]
Bryce Crawford
Over. Yep.
- [21:46]
Lecrae
Yep.
- [21:46]
Bryce Crawford
So did. Did Satan's tactics change once you had influence?
- [21:50]
Lecrae
I think the enemy. Satan is a. He's defined by certain things, right? He's an accuser, he's a liar, he's a manipulator. Right? Those are. He's a tempter. Like, that's. That's what he is. That's what he's going to do. I think we underestimate the intelligence of evil. Is the second most intelligent force in the universe. Second only to God. Right? When you just try to say Satan is stupid and he doesn't know what he's doing, I'm like, chill out. He's slick and plays the long game. So a lot of times, yeah, initially, when you're young and inexperienced and you don't really know your word, he can jump out like the boogeyman and just like, you know, I never Forget this, man. I was younger in my faith. We're on, like, our first tour, and there was this big band out at the time called Gym Class Heroes. And I remember we were in New Orleans, and we're on tour, and all my. All my crew was in the hotel. It's late at night. And I was like, bro, we're in New Orleans. We gotta get those beignets. We gotta get the beignets, bro. And this is funny. This is. This is how old this is. This is pre Uber. So there's no Uber? Yeah, there's no Uber, right? So I'm like, I gotta. I'll go walk to go get beignets for us. Cause I don't mind taking a walk because my. My roommate, Trip Lee, at the time, he was like, man, I'm just tired, bro. I said, I'll go get the beignets for us. Yeah. So it's like 11 at night, and the beignet place I know doesn't close. It's maybe 10 at night. I'm walking down the street in New Orleans, and I pass by House of Blues, and I see this massive tour bus. And I was like, dang. I was like, we need a tour bus. Cause we didn't have a tour. Busy. A Winnebago. You know what I mean? So I was like, man, so I'm trying to take a picture of the tour bus company on the side of the bus, and this girl, not modestly dressed at all, beautiful young girl, comes walking off the tour bus. And I can tell she was drunk. And she was like, hey, why are you taking a picture of our bus? And I was like, I didn't know whose bus it was. She's like, it's gym class Heroes bus. And this is a male group. So I'm like, you're not in a group. You know? And she was like, you know what? If you're gonna take pictures of our bus, I'm gonna have to take you inside and r. Pe you. She's gorgeous. She literally jumps on me. Like, I'm facing her. She jumps up on me, wraps her legs around my waist and. And on my neck. And I was like, you know, just like, whoa. I. I literally threw her off me. And I threw her off me and, like, started to run a little bit, like. Like Joseph with Potiphar. I was like.
- [24:58]
Bryce Crawford
And.
- [24:59]
Lecrae
And so, man, you know, that moment is, like, where I was in my walk. Yes. That was a clear attack from the enemy. And that's the way it will work. You know what? I'm saying, as I've matured, I'm like, I'm not gonna put myself in that line of fire. You know, I just would. Like, ah. I'm. I'll navigate differently. But he just gets slicker. He just gets smoother, and it's like he's the. The way that he's attacked me. The worst is the silent gas of success.
- [25:38]
Bryce Crawford
Whoa.
- [25:39]
Lecrae
It's like a sl. You just smell a little bit every day. He doesn't say, man, you're the man. You. You need to walk around like you're the man. You own this place, and you got it together. It's just a little bit at a time. Just a small little, you know. Hey, man. Man, you changed my life. Praise God. Praise God. Hey, man. Your song's the best song out right now. I'm just telling you. Hey, man. You know what, man? You deserve all the Grammys. Hey, man, you got more platinum records than so and so. Hey, man. Hey, man. Hey, man. Hey, man. Hey, man. Hey, man. Before you know it, you're not fighting against pride anymore. You've drifted, and you're just comparing yourself to everybody else who's not as prideful as you. And now you're like, yeah, I'm not that bad compared to them. It's like, that's. That was never the standard.
- [26:28]
Bryce Crawford
Dang.
- [26:29]
Lecrae
You know what I'm saying? So that's. That's the way I've seen him. He just gets a little slicker.
- [26:33]
Bryce Crawford
Yeah, he's not really the. The guy in red with the pitchfork.
- [26:37]
Lecrae
That's right.
- [26:37]
Bryce Crawford
He's, like, in the tuxedo and the slick back hair, and he looks like James Bond.
- [26:42]
Lecrae
Angela Light.
- [26:43]
Bryce Crawford
Whoa. Crazy man.
- [26:44]
Lecrae
Angel of light. Have you.
- [26:46]
Bryce Crawford
Have you ever had, like, outside of that. Which. That. I mean, that story in New Orleans is. Is wild. Wild, wild. But have you. Have you ever had, like, a. Have you ever had an encounter with the devil himself?
- [26:58]
Lecrae
That's a good question. I don't. I don't know, because from my understanding, man, I mean, like, he's not omnipresent. He can't be everywhere at the same time. I don't know if he's counted me worthy enough to, like, I'm gonna appear and jack you up. I will say I think I have felt the full weight of a satanic attack. If it wasn't him, he sent his strongest, toughest minions at me. And I definitely feel like, you know where I was in the darkest space in my life. And honestly, it came from being so beat up by the church. You Know, so beat up by the church that I said, I don't. I did not realize the impact in this season of my life that I was. I had the number one album in the country. You know, I was touring everywhere, I was speaking at every conference, and, and I just did not realize the impact that I had and, and how damaging, you know, it could be for Satan to take me off course. And. And man, he came in my belief system. Wow. You know what I mean? And just me, like, I don't know if God is real, because if he was real, these Christians wouldn't be attacking me like this. If he was real, the, the mentors in the faith that I looked up to wouldn't be attacking me. Like, they didn't call me and say, hey, man, I got some questions about what you're doing. They just attacked me.
- [28:26]
Bryce Crawford
Yeah.
- [28:26]
Lecrae
And I was like, what the heck? That was the, the toughest spiritual darkness that I'd ever encountered where I could feel like a weight pulling me down. And I remember laying in my bed one night and I was like, God, I don't know if you're real. It was like a faint voice that was like, I'm here, I'm real. And I was like, ah, that's just me. I'm just tripping. And I wish I would have listened to that voice, you know?
- [28:55]
Bryce Crawford
So what did you need from the church in that season that you weren't getting?
- [29:00]
Lecrae
Honestly, man? Grace. I needed grace, bro. I needed somebody to say, hey, lrae, I, I think I see what you're trying to communicate. I think I see what you're trying to say or do. Let me, let me pull you in real quick and just and, and, and process this with you. Like, let me ask you some questions instead of just accusing you. And then a lot of times, unfortunately, man, we, we assume each other's motive. And the Bible tells us, like, we don't even know our motives sometimes. Right? Like Paul says, I don't even judge myself. I let the Lord do that. Will call each other lukewarm. And I'm like, when Jesus, when, when in Revelations when God was saying this church was lukewarm, he actually had vision into their heart. We'll call each other lukewarm without knowing each other's motives. So I can see your tattoos and say, he's lukewarm. He's lukewarm. That's why he's got these tattoos. He's not godly at all. And it's like, what? You don't know anything about why he did what he did. Or what was going on or the nothing. And. And the church just didn't give me that grace. They just said, see, he. Oh, he had so and so on his podcast. He just wants to be famous. That's why he did that.
- [30:18]
Bryce Crawford
Wow.
- [30:19]
Lecrae
You know, Bryce wants to be a rapper so bad. Oh, my gosh. He meets with Little Tony. He meets with Lecrae. It's like, he's just so fake, bro.
- [30:29]
Bryce Crawford
Yeah, maybe. Maybe an ad lib. Maybe an ad lib, you know, like throwing a mama. You. If you let me do that. I would. I would.
- [30:37]
Lecrae
I got you, bro.
- [30:37]
Sponsor/Announcer
All right.
- [30:38]
Lecrae
You need a whole song. I do think you can eat a whole song.
- [30:41]
Bryce Crawford
You might. I don't know if you got enough auto tune to fix it.
- [30:43]
Lecrae
We'll get you right, bro. We'll get you right, dude.
- [30:45]
Bryce Crawford
I'm from. I'm from Cartersville, Georgia.
- [30:48]
Lecrae
That's all you need.
- [30:49]
Bryce Crawford
I got a little thickness in there.
- [30:50]
Lecrae
It comes out.
- [30:52]
Bryce Crawford
I tried to get rid of the accent a long time ago, and it comes out now.
- [30:55]
Lecrae
The accent is fire, especially for rap.
- [30:57]
Bryce Crawford
All right.
- [30:58]
Lecrae
You need that. You need that, bro. Like, you don't wanna. Yeah, don't stay out in LA too, too long and lose. You lose that.
- [31:05]
Bryce Crawford
Can't lose the flavor.
- [31:06]
Lecrae
Yeah, that's the sauce.
- [31:07]
Bryce Crawford
Come on.
- [31:08]
Lecrae
That's the sauce, baby.
- [31:09]
Bryce Crawford
You know, I, I, I really, really want it. I'm so glad that you brought up. I think you call that season like a reconstruction, which I love that language because when you, when you label something, deconstruction it, it's got this like, oh, you're deep. You know what I mean? But, you know, in a sense, if I'm being honest, I have a hard time, too, in that way where saint, like, in similar ways, there's like heroes of the fate that I, like, look up to and have been accused or like the friendly fire. And if I'm being completely honest, I was, because we just, we were just on a live podcast tour, and I remember one night I was on our off day. I'm in the hotel room and I'm just grieving in the shower. I don't know. I don't know what it is about. I meet the Lord when I'm in the shower. I don't know if that's. That's a long time, baby. Yeah. Getting alone. There's no distraction.
- [31:58]
Lecrae
Yeah.
- [31:59]
Bryce Crawford
And I'm sitting there and I'm grieving hard. And it was. To be honest, I was growing bitter at Christians, and really, I was growing critical because then I would sit in a church and I would subconsciously become critical because I'm like, well, all of these other people have hurt me. So are you going to hurt me or are you going to do this thing to me? And so it's. It's. And really, that's been such a hard battle. And I don't know if this is going to make sense. And I really. And I'm really cautious to say this, but I. It's something I'm really trying to process, and it's going to maybe not sound as, like, biblically theological or whatever, but I don't care. It's just. Yeah, keep it real, you know? I guess sometimes I wonder maybe if you've ever felt like this, you could have done anything with your rap. You could have done anything. But you chose to incorporate your faith because you love Jesus more than you love the gift he's given you and decided to sacrifice your twenties, your prime years to sacrifice and sweat, put in sweat equity for the souls of people that you may never meet, shake their hand or touch that have heard your music or whatever. And in the same way, we're doing that with our time and with our videos by saying, hey, I'm. I'm gonna. You know, we're gonna sacrifice our time in our 20s, blood, sweat, and tears to meet people where they're at and create these videos to encourage other people. But you hate me for it. And that idea right there, I wrestle with a lot because it makes me grow bitter, and I don't want to grow bitter. And that's honestly been my biggest prayer lately. And I would just love to know some wisdom on that, because I'm praying and I'm like, man, God, I don't want to grow bitter, but I can feel my heart being cold a little bit. And even when I don't want to be cold, and I'm not trying to be cold or I'm just really hurt. And that may sound so selfish of me to say, say, maybe it is, I don't know.
- [34:02]
Lecrae
But sounds human, man.
- [34:04]
Bryce Crawford
I'd love to know some wisdom.
- [34:05]
Lecrae
Yeah, it sounds human. Yeah. No, I've been there, bro. And I. I've been there so bad. A couple things that I've had to learn to remember. So, one is the people whose lives are impacted by you rarely come back around and say thank you. Right? So there's a story in the scriptures where Jesus heals these 10 lepers. You know, they're so happy to be healed that they run off. And I imagine. I mean, just imagine you got leprosy in their day and time. You're separated from everybody. You don't. You can't see your mom. If you got kids, you can't see your kids, your spouse, like, you. You got to be off in the. Like, in some quarantine forever. And then Jesus comes along and he's like, yo, y' all in quarantine? How long you been here? Five years, man. I ain't seen my mom in five years. He's like, you healed? Go show yourself to the priest. So they take off and they're like, yo, I'm healed. I'm going back home to see my mom. I ain't seen my mama forever. And it says out of them, the sliver of all of them who got healed came back to say thank you, right? And I think that's a picture of us as believers, is there are so many people who've been transformed by what you're doing or inspired by what you're doing. And a lot of them, man, they're just. They're so excited to be free. They know they don't spin the block and say, bryce, thank you. Now. Some of them do. But it's so much easier for us to focus on the loud 5% who say something negative, right? Who got something negative to say? The only reason, bro, the only reason they have something negative to say is because you're impactful. That's it. If you weren't making a dent, they would have nothing to say, right? If you literally had 2 subscribers, 36 views on your videos, they'd be like, who is this idiot? Moving on. But because the Lord has allowed you to impact millions of people, people have something to say because they're like, I don't like the fact that these folks lives are. It's Jesus all over again.
- [36:24]
Bryce Crawford
Yeah. Dang.
- [36:25]
Lecrae
You know what I'm saying? I don't like the fact. And what did Jesus do? You know, he engaged the curious, right? Are you genuinely curious, Nicodemus? Like, you're not just here to criticize me. You're curious, all right? He engages the curious, right? He feeds the needy. Like, you really hungry, so you want some help? So I. But he ignores the critics. You know what? I'm not giving you my time. I'm not giving you my time. They try to jam him up. He's like, jesus, this coin, who should it go to? Caesar or God? We're going to get him with this. We're going to get him with this one. Jesus is like, yo, man. Yo, man, give me go Fishing. Give me the fish. Get the coin out. Whose face is on this? Caesar's? All right, then give it back to him. Now. Give God what's his. Whose face is. Whose face is on you? Whose signature's on you? God's signature. So give God what belongs to God. That's your. That's your job. You know what? I'm here for God. And then the other piece of advice I give you is like, man, just. Them voices don't count. They're all. They're NPCs, bro. They don't count. Bro. The voices that matter are the people in your life who really know you. Those are the voices you got to listen to. The rest are NPCs. It's like, man, you. They're just you playing GTA, and they're just walking around just yapping. It's like, bro, you're getting me off my mission. So if I start focusing on you, you get me off my mission. And that's why Jesus said, father, forgive them. They don't know what they do. So, you know, pray for them for your own heart's sake. I say pray for them because that'll help ease the tension, because you'll be like, lord, I pray you open their eyes to see. You're already praying for your own eyes to be open. So that's the piece of advice I give you. Don't let the bitterness weigh you down, man, because if you start paying too much attention to it, you'll want to defend yourself. You'll want to say all this, and it's like, bro, just stay on the path. They're trying to get you, that Satan will use the church to get you off the path you're supposed to be on, man.
- [38:37]
Bryce Crawford
Thank you for that.
- [38:38]
Lecrae
I appreciate it. Yeah.
- [38:39]
Bryce Crawford
Correct me if I'm wrong, you had a season where you wanted to take your life.
- [38:42]
Lecrae
Oh, yes.
- [38:45]
Bryce Crawford
Yes. What. What. What was that? What was that like? What were you battling with kind of. Yeah, access to that.
- [38:53]
Lecrae
So to give you, like, a full picture of it all round one, I didn't know, like, you know, my family has a history of, like, anxiety and depression. You know what I'm saying? So I didn't know that that was, like, a historical thing in my family. So it didn't really show up for me until I was younger, you know, like, until I was, like, in my teens. And then I kind of went through some seasons of depression and frustration. But, you know, I was smoking a lot of weed. I was just wilding, so I just really was numbing the pain. I got older. I got into this altercation with this guy, and he came and he brought a gun to meet me. I barely missed him. Like, I was driving one way, he was driving the other way. I didn't know he was after me. And the gunshots went off in the air, but I didn't know he was shooting at me until later I found out. So I'm spazzing. I'm so mad, and I'm like, I'm going to get this dude as I'm going to get the gun. It was like I had a glitch. Like, my. My mental health glitched. And I. It was like, man, you're going to ruin your life. You might as well kill yourself after you kill him, because your life's going to be ruined. You're going to go to jail and then just start spiraling. And that was the first time I was like, something's not right. You know what I'm saying? So I knew that I had that potential to go there. The. The last time was, man, I was so beat down by the church. Just so beat down. Just. Just like, I was like, there's no hope, because if this is my existence, God, I don't even have anywhere to turn. I can't even turn to the people who you have to wrap your arms around me, so where do I turn? And it was sad because, you know, I'm making all this money and one of the mentors that I had, you know, and I got. Bless him. I don't think he meant wrong. I just think he was insensitive. One of the mentors that I had was like, yo, you need to put me on salary, you know, so I can mentor you full time. And I was just like, ah, I don't know how to take this.
- [41:06]
Bryce Crawford
Yeah.
- [41:06]
Lecrae
You know what I'm saying? Like, you asking me to pay you to disciple me, like, it just felt weird. And so now I don't want to even talk to him, you know? So I don't, like, I don't know where to go. The church is eating me alive. There's lies about me going on. And now I'm just like, I don't think there is a God. And. And that was the excuse I needed to go back to my vomit. You know what I mean? So it's like, well, I'm gonna go back to what I know since there's nothing, nowhere else to go. I couldn't go fully back because I'm married with kids.
- [41:36]
Bryce Crawford
Yeah.
- [41:36]
Lecrae
But I'm like, okay, well, how Far back, can I. I can go smoking and drinking and staying, going to the parties and the events. You know, I'm a celebrity. So it just got to a point where the Lord was convicting me of like, is this going to be your existence? This is it. Like, this is your life. And I was like, I don't know where to go. I don't know if you're real. And, man, I was in such a deep, dark, depressed state, all of a sudden, depression just hit me. My brain. I woke up one morning, we were on tour, and a lot of my peers didn't know I was dealing with this, you know, and, you know, we went out, we had some fun. We had, you know, some celebrations. They don't know I'm drinking way more than I should be, you know, Like, I'm not drinking in moderation. I'm going in, trying to numb myself to stop my brain from drinking. And I. I blacked out. When I woke up the next morning on the tour bus, I was like. I was like, my brain just is in a fog. And I noticed, like, I didn't feel happy or sad, and something was wrong. And I was like, what is this? And I was like, let me watch. I get on social media and I was like, I'm not entertained. I was like, nothing is exciting to me. I don't crave food. I'm not even hungry. I'm usually hungry first thing in the morning. So I'm like, oh, shoot, I think this is depression. And then I was like, I'll sleep it off. I tried to sleep it off, and then I woke up, and I still felt it. Next day, I still felt it. And I was just like, oh, this is about to be my life. I was like, I don't want to live. Then this is going to be life. I don't want to live. And so I'm. I'm literally sitting in the car and I'm like, how can I take myself out? You know, so in. In a way that. Where it's like, it's the most painless way. So I'm like, literally thinking of the painless ways to go. And all I kept thinking about was my little kids at the time finding my lifeless body and the trauma that would have caused them and put them in the same cycle. You know what I mean? I was like, nah, I can't put anybody else through what I'm feeling right now. I gotta battle through this. I gotta fight through this. And by the grace of God, I got help. I got therapy, you know, I Repented. I confessed. I ended up coming. The Lord drew me back in. It's a longer story, but this is about a year and a half process of getting healthy, you know, I mean,
- [43:56]
Bryce Crawford
so I know you've told this story before, but you were in Mexico and you read Tim Keller's Prodigal Prophet book. How did that kind of change the trajectory of everything? What was going on in your heart?
- [44:10]
Lecrae
Yeah. So at this point in time, I'm trying to get back together. I. I took all. I knew I wasn't healthy. And I'm like, all right, God. God has started reeling me back in. But I was still dealing with, like, some serious depression and some anxiety. And I said, man, I'm taking off of touring and everything. And I took off my wife and I just went to Mexico. You know, it was like, let's just go to Mexico for a week and just be away from everything. And I'm. You know, I'm. I'm just trying to heal and get restored. And I remember I'm sitting. I had this part I haven't told before, but I'm sitting in our hotel room. My wife is out, you know, by the pool or whatever. I'm just sitting in a hotel room, and there's a knife on the table, and I'm, like, dealing with some crazy anxiety, and it's like my brain felt like a demonic attack. It was like, take the knife and stab yourself. Just do it. Just do it. Take yourself out. And I was like, what the heck, man? I'm like, yo, God. So then I'm crying. I'm like, God, like, I can't. This is crazy. These intrusive thoughts are hitting me, like, help me. And I remember sitting down, just like, I'm reading through the Prodigal Prophet story about. Of Jonah, and. And I'm like, lord, please just give me anything. And I'm just praying, and I'm crying. And I look out the window, and I see water. The ocean is right outside the window, and I see water just shooting up out the ocean. And I'm like, oh, God, now I'm going crazy. I'm seeing water shoot out the ocean. I want to, like, help me, please. And the Prodigal Prophet is a book about Jonah and him being swallowed in the mouth of a whale. And. And I have been reading this, and on the nightstand is a stuffed whale. Like a stuffed animal. I still have it. I took. I stole that out that hotel believe that. I think it was a gift anyway. But it was a stuffed whale.
- [46:17]
Bryce Crawford
I mean, I've done that too.
- [46:19]
Lecrae
But I'm reading this book about a whale, the stuffed whale, and there's water shooting up out of the ocean. And in, like, two seconds, I see the whale emerge out of the ocean. And I'm like. God was like, I got you. I'm with you. Hang on. You in the belly of the beast right now. I'm gonna get you out of this.
- [46:42]
Bryce Crawford
Wow.
- [46:43]
Lecrae
And, man, I just held on and. And every for like, a month straight after that, everywhere I go, I would see whales. Wow. Like, not real whales, but it's like, yeah, I'm just, like, walking through the airport. I'm like, oh, God, I'm doing bad. And then I just like, it's a whale. A store with a whale. Why is there a whale all of a sudden? What is this? And the Lord just give you them little. Them little breadcrumbs to remind you, like, I'm here.
- [47:06]
Sponsor/Announcer
Wow.
- [47:06]
Lecrae
You know what I'm saying? I'm. I'm walking through. I'm downtown one day, and I'm struggling, and then this little girl cuts in front of me, and then she's got a whale on her backpack, and I'm just like, yo, I see you, Lord.
- [47:19]
Bryce Crawford
Praise God.
- [47:20]
Lecrae
Yeah, bro.
- [47:21]
Bryce Crawford
Man, those moments are sweet, man.
- [47:23]
Lecrae
I'm trying to tell you. Just a little reminder. So those are the moments where God just started pulling me back in little by little, man. And, you know, it was a year and a half of. Of getting healthy, getting healed, of a lot of therapy, a lot of counseling, meeting with my pastor, and really just like, getting myself healthy and. And not listening to all those outside. I quit listening to the voices, you know, because I was like, oh, these are not the voices that matter. And I. I zeroed in on the voices who knew me, who cared about me, who wanted the best for me. And, man, it's like water off my back now. I just. People have crazy stuff to say all the time. It's like, oh, you went to the Diddy party. Whatever, bro. You know what I'm saying? Like, whatever, bro. Like, I'm moving on. He's so fake. Oh, my gosh.
- [48:07]
Bryce Crawford
Whatever.
- [48:08]
Lecrae
He hasn't repented. Whatever, man. Like, you know, I'm on my. I'm on my. My zone.
- [48:13]
Bryce Crawford
For sure. For sure. So. So in the. In the 20 years that you've been going through hip hop, ministry, influence, depression, reconstruction, all of it.
- [48:24]
Lecrae
Yeah.
- [48:24]
Bryce Crawford
Your rhythms with Jesus have obviously changed. But, like, in this season, something I really respected was, like, when we were talking about finding the day and the time. Thank you for coming on. I was talking to Flex, and he was like. He was like, yeah, he's. He does his thing till 10am he's got a thing that he likes to do in the morning and get ready, and I really respect that. I'm the same way. I'm like, I'm the same way. I like. I got a little thing where I got to do it. The best version of Bryce is if Bryce does. If Bryce works out and gets this alone time with Jesus, it's like that duo right there. I'm. I'm the healthiest, most gentle, you know, version of myself. So what does your rhythm with Jesus look like right now?
- [49:03]
Lecrae
A lot of. A lot of times it's. I'll wake up immediately, read the Scriptures. Because the temptation when you wake up is pick up that phone, see what's going on online. And I'm like, now let me give my attention to the Lord and immediately get into the Scriptures. And just like, I may get something, I may not, but the Lord may download something into my spirit. He may not. But I'm just trying to zero in on the word. Give me something to chew on. It may. It may come back to me. Something may hit me. And then I'm listening to something that is renewing my mind. So whether that is music or whether that is a sermon or whether that's a podcast, I just. I need 30 minutes of mind renewal, right? So sometimes it may be a book or whatever it is, but I just, Lord, renew my mind. Give me something new to. To grow me and stretch me outside of your word. And then, man is silence. I need silence. A lot of times we're spending so much time talking to God, we're not hearing, we're not listening.
- [50:12]
Bryce Crawford
Wow.
- [50:13]
Lecrae
And so I'm like, lord, what do you want to say? What do you want to say? And I. And man, God has told me some amazing things in the silence, you know, like, just let me be silent enough to hear from them. You know, the most recent thing God showed me in my. In silence was I was like, what do I do next? And. And the Lord was like, be quiet. And he said, do the next right thing. But I was like, God, I'm trying to figure out this whole game plan for the rest of the year. I'm not giving you the plan, just the next right step. That's it. That's all I'm giving you. I'm just a lamp to your feet. The lamp, the oil lamp is only enough for a little bit of just the next right step. That's all I'm gonna give you. You know, God, I just had a baby. How do I raise him into a godly young, young man? Feed him today. What. What else? Hug him, pray for him. Just the next right thing. And you just keep doing the next right. Keep making that left, left, left, left to left until you are where you need to be. And. And. And then I hit the gym. You know what I'm saying? And I hit the gym. And now my mind has been renewed. My body, you know, has. The temple's been taken care of. Let's go. Let's start the day.
- [51:27]
Bryce Crawford
I hate to cut it back to something she said, but after I asked you that question, hopefully hit me. I'm like, I can't overlook that you said this Diddy party. All right, I gotta go back to this.
- [51:39]
Lecrae
Yeah, let's do it.
- [51:40]
Bryce Crawford
You went to a diddy party? All right, please tell me about this.
- [51:43]
Sponsor/Announcer
This.
- [51:43]
Lecrae
This is what people gotta understand. First of all, there are the diddy, crazy, debaucherous, nasty sexual events that he had. And then there are the entertainment, like, presses, invited events that he has. They're. They're two different types of things. Way different. But when people say diddy party, that they immediately go to the nasty.
- [52:08]
Bryce Crawford
Well, yeah, yeah. I mean, yeah, I get what you're saying.
- [52:11]
Lecrae
So I. I don't know anything about the nasty one. I never been to anything like that, ever. I've been to the press event, so it was like BET Awards. And he. And post the award show, he invites the press and a few celebrities to come to this big part. I mean, Everybody's in. Leonardo DiCaprio was in there, freaking Jimmy Iovine, Madonna. Chris Brown does a dance off with another Lorianne. Like, it was crazy, bro. It was wild, like. But it was. I mean, Drake's dad. Like, everybody's there. The press is taking pictures. It's like. It's not private at all. The fans are lined up around his house trying to look in the gate because they could see inside. So it's like. It was chaos. It was like. I mean, it's literally a thousand people out there.
- [53:01]
Bryce Crawford
Yeah. So there's no.
- [53:02]
Lecrae
There's nothing crazy going on. It's just like. It's like just. It's just a big giant festival.
- [53:08]
Bryce Crawford
Yeah.
- [53:08]
Lecrae
You know, that's really what it was like, you know, Have I been to an event where it got a little dicey? Yes. But it wasn't Diddy. It was a producer in Atlanta and I went to his. He. He had a. An event at his House. And I saw two dudes start kissing in the corner. And I was like, yo, this is getting wild. This is getting crazies. And then another lady who's a Christian, she's like, yo, cray, after midnight, it gets kind of wild, you know what I'm saying? You might want to slide. And I was like, bet. Say less. So I was up out of there, you know, I never saw get crazier than that. I just saw two dudes kissing. They were fully clothed, you know what I'm saying? But that was all I needed to see is like, oh, it's getting okay. All right. Let me. Let me roll on. But as far as Diddy's concerned, first of all, and both of those parties, the first one is like, shoot, like 12 years ago, the Diddy event was what, 2016, 2017. So it's almost 10 years ago. So I was in a whole different headspace even at that time.
- [54:10]
Bryce Crawford
Sure.
- [54:11]
Lecrae
Like, it. Like, did I do anything sinful? No. But was I being the light I could have been? I don't think I was. I think I could have been more of a light, you know what I'm saying? I think I was in a dark place where I was just like, I don't care where. Where are we going? Let's go.
- [54:28]
Bryce Crawford
Yeah.
- [54:29]
Lecrae
You know, and, yeah, I think I could have been more of a light. But what I will say is I got a couple of phone numbers at that event of celebrities that I still keep up with to this day, praise God, and they've seen the fruit and the transformation and they've been blessed by it. And, like, man, like, you know, it's kind of like, yeah, they have a person to reach out to when they're processing faith and processing things along those lines.
- [55:01]
Bryce Crawford
So did you ever meet him, like, in person?
- [55:04]
Lecrae
Like.
- [55:04]
Bryce Crawford
Like, yeah, like, dab him up or anything? I heard this one story of, like, this guy who went to, like, I guess, like a Diddy event or whatever.
- [55:11]
Lecrae
Yeah.
- [55:12]
Bryce Crawford
And he came up to him and was like. He was like, come give Diddy some love. And, like. And, like, went in for a hug, and I, like. I was like, what the heck? So I didn't know if it was anything.
- [55:22]
Lecrae
Like, I never. I never. I mean, he was there. I saw him. But I mean, you know, he's security and this different, and I don't know the guy. And plus, I'm not going to be one of a hundred people like, Mr. Diddy, Mr. Diddy, Mrister Diddy. Mr. Diddy. What I will say is like, the. I Seen him at another event. This is the, the Roc Nation brunch that Jay Z hosted, which I know everyone's going to think this, these are just Illuminati events. And why am I even there? It's so funny to me, but it's like the furthest thing from the truth is just. It's literally like a barbecue with somebody's house. That's really what it is. It's a barbecue with somebody's house. That's what it is. But, but when I saw Diddy at that of Roc Nation event, I saw some. I. It's like I could see the hollowness in him. Like, I was like, it's hard to describe, but when you see somebody, you're like, yo, you are empty. You are struggling. And I could see it, you know, he just did not look good, didn't look healthy. And, and I do remember in that moment, like, I was a healthier version of myself at that point in time. I do remember, like, I need to pray for him. You know what I'm saying?
- [56:28]
Bryce Crawford
That's good.
- [56:29]
Lecrae
Yeah.
- [56:30]
Bryce Crawford
So I always like to ask my married friends and guests this question. Yeah, I've only been married three months. What is the greatest piece of marriage advice you could give me?
- [56:42]
Lecrae
You're not gonna like it. Oh, I mean, a lot of people may not like it, but especially like the modern day culture that we live in. But I firmly believe that God created, you know, order within the marriage. I firmly believe that the man is called to lead. You know what I'm saying? And that doesn't mean he needs to be a tyrant. It doesn't mean it needs to be. But I think too many times culture has shaped us men to be like, well, what do you want to eat, babe? What do you want to eat? What do you want to eat? What do you want to eat? Instead of being like, yo, man, go make a reservation, go make a decision, be a leader and say, hey, I made reservations for here, let's go, let's roll. I just think, man, we're in this indecisive society and culture we're so afraid of, of offending. And, and listen, I think women are brilliant. I think women have. I don't think they're less than any of those by any shape of the, of the imagination. I just think we're in a society where men are afraid to lead. You know, we're just afraid to be leaders and, and be leader in service, be a leader in humility, be a leader in apologizing first. Like, but lead. Yeah, you Know what I'm saying? I think we. We're just in a place where we're. We have really bought into this. This idea that, man, is. It's gonna be this 50, 50 thing. And, you know, well, I can't pull my weight this month, but she's got it. Brother, if you sitting around with. Well, you know, I can't. I don't know. Brother may call me old school, but I'm like, look, but if I sit around waiting on my wife to be the spiritual leader in the house, like, I'm not doing my job, so I say lead. That's what I would say as a man. Outside of that, the other thing I would just tell you is that, man, who you are and who you're married to is not who you will be and who you're married to ten years from now.
- [58:54]
Bryce Crawford
Wow. That's encouraging. So both of that's encouraging. I love that. Like, even. Even just. I'm in this phase where I'm, like, learning. I'm in that process where I'm, like, learning leadership looks like. You know what I'm saying? I'm like, what does it look like to, like, lead a disagreement? What does it look like to lead by making the decision of where we go to eat? What does it look like in leading? We literally just had to get Maddie a new car because her. Her sister, they. They gave. She gave her sister her old car because her sister didn't have a car. So we had to get her new cars. Like, which car do we buy? Like, how do you lead in all these decisions? So I'm like, man, so that's just so encouraging to hear, like, you know, keep leading.
- [59:33]
Lecrae
You got such a good. You got so good. But being a good leader means you're a good follower. It means you're really following the Lord and you're hearing from God. So it's like, my wife followed me into the trap. We. I said we moving to Memphis, into the hood. She wasn't like, wait, what are you doing? What's going on? She's like, I trust this man's leadership. I trust his vision. I trust he's hearing from God, and I' ma follow.
- [59:54]
Bryce Crawford
Well, you said in Memphis.
- [59:56]
Lecrae
Memphis.
- [59:59]
Bryce Crawford
Y' all were in there.
- [60:00]
Lecrae
We was in that. Boy, I'm trying to tell you, Memphis.
- [60:05]
Bryce Crawford
I was like. I had to brace myself.
- [60:07]
Lecrae
You were in it, bro.
- [60:08]
Bryce Crawford
And I love Memphis.
- [60:10]
Lecrae
I love it, too.
- [60:10]
Bryce Crawford
I love Memphis. But, man, that.
- [60:12]
Lecrae
Yeah, about being Hampton, boy. We was in the hamp. We was in the trap. Boy, we was in There. So. And I'm like. She was like, all right, let's do it. I'm following your lead. But that's. Leadership is like, man, I have a vision. I have a plan. I have a. I'm not going to lead us astray. And it's not like your voice doesn't matter. It's just that, like, I take responsibility for the direction that we're going to go in. You know what I mean? So, you know, that's. That's. That would be my advice. It don't mean be a tyrant. Don't mean like, hey. But, you know, if she. If she says, hey, you know, what do you want to eat for dinner tonight? Do you want chicken or do you want fish? You don't say, well, what do you want? It's not sexy to her anyway. You know what's sexy to her? Like, I'm feeling chicken. Okay,
- [61:07]
Bryce Crawford
I like that.
- [61:08]
Lecrae
You know what I mean? Like, it's not sexy to be like, what do you want, babe? It's like, okay, I don't know. What do you want?
- [61:16]
Bryce Crawford
I like that. I like that.
- [61:19]
Lecrae
Just, yeah, man, be a leader. Take a stance.
- [61:21]
Bryce Crawford
I admire you. I respect you. I'm encouraged by you. I think the world of you. So I really appreciate you a ton, man.
- [61:29]
Lecrae
Vice versa, brother. Like, we need more of you, bro. We need. I love the energy that you come with. And, man, what you represent for a generation, man.
- [61:37]
Bryce Crawford
Sincerely, thank you for saying that. I'd love for you to pray for everyone as we close out. Everyone that's watching.
- [61:42]
Lecrae
Absolutely. Father God, we thank you for every single individual who is, Lord, just whose eyes and ears are on this. This conversation right now. I don't know all the different things that are. People are struggling with, but. But you do. And, Lord God, you promise that. That you'll never leave us nor forsake us. Matter of fact, you always give a promise in the middle of the pain. And so, God, I pray even when we think about Jeremiah 29:11, that. That I know the thing, the plans that I have for you, plans for a future and a hope. Lord, that promise came in a time of pain. And God, I pray that people will remember that your promises hold true. God, that they would hold on to your promises. Lord, would you show them that you are a promise keeper? Would you show them that you are faithful? Would you show them that whatever it is that they wrestle with or struggle with, that you're bigger than that? And God, also pray for just a critical spirit that lives in all of us that wants to critique and criticize and judge, Lord, that you will quiet that voice and allow us to grow and to thrive and and to be encouraging toward one another. In Jesus name. Amen.
- [62:53]
Sponsor/Announcer
Most of us are one good deal away from finally replacing that worn out rug, fixing up the backyard, or getting the bedroom we actually want. Good news, that deal's almost here. Wayfair's Black Friday and July Sale get up to 80% off area rugs and up to 60% off outdoor and bedroom furniture. Shop Wayfair's huge selection of styles and find the piece to fit your style, budget and space, plus free shipping. Black Friday in July ends July 27. Shop today at Wayfair.com Wayfair Every style, every home.
- [63:23]
Bryce Crawford
Amen.