Sketch Opens Up About Fame, Addiction, and God (EP 194)

Summary

---

The Bryce Crawford Podcast: “Sketch Opens Up About Fame, Addiction, and God” (EP 194)

Date: May 25, 2026
Guest: Sketch
Host: Bryce Crawford

---

Episode Overview

This episode features streamer and entertainer Sketch in a raw, vulnerable conversation about the unseen struggles behind sudden fame, the cycles of addiction, and searching for true purpose in God. Sketch candidly describes how achieving a "dream job" in streaming and entertainment left him feeling empty, grappling with shame, addiction, and isolation, and, ultimately, led him to deeper spiritual questions. Bryce helps guide the discussion toward healing, honest faith, and practical steps for regaining purpose and embracing authenticity in faith and life.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Emptiness of Fame and Worldly Success

• Sketch shares the dark side of living a dream life:
  • “I've done it all. I've seen it all, met everybody. You feel empty. I wasn't happy. I mean, this is a lot of people's dreams, job. You'd be surprised how, like, unhappy you can be with, like, when your dreams come true, if they're not, like, tied to a godly purpose.” – Sketch (00:00)
• Achievements like getting a Lamborghini, designer chains, and internet fame didn’t bring lasting satisfaction.
• The pressure to appear perfect and ‘happy’ online:
  Sketch admits to showing only his best side on streams, hiding struggles with substance abuse and mental health.

---

2. Addiction, Shame, and Cycles of Isolation

• Sketch details his cycles of drug and alcohol use, especially during emotionally difficult times.
• Being “on a bender” often results in pulling away from family, friends, and even faith community.
• The feeling of unworthiness:
  • “I find myself not praying because I'm, like, almost, like, scared because it's like. You feel dirty.” – Sketch (00:24)
  • “I was given something and then probably misused it.” – Sketch (00:33)
• Avoiding God and community out of shame:
  “I turn away from God because I feel like a hypocrite, like, unworthy.” – Sketch (00:43, 28:57, 58:33)

---

3. Community, Upbringing, and Early Influences

• Grew up attending both private Christian and large public schools; exposure to both tight-knit and chaotic environments.
• Early introduction to alcohol and drugs:
  Sketch began drinking at 15, smoking weed at 17, influenced by his peer environment and the local party scene. (19:47–20:29)

---

4. The Power of Vulnerability and Confession

• Sketch’s public confession about his struggles was a critical turning point:
  • “I just confessed in my own way. It ripped the shame away. You don't have to be clean to come to God.” – Sketch (00:56, 74:24)
• Relief in honesty:
  “Like, after the being, like. Because that was never, like, couldn't be used against me. Yeah. Part of me was, like, scared, like, just in a multitude of ways, like, it just could be used against me...I mean, like, I either live in shame or I can, like, like, admit to it. And then, like, keep going and thank God people stuck by my side.” – Sketch (66:32–67:46)
• Bryce (and Sketch) emphasize that bringing struggles into the light removes the devil’s power over them. (63:41–64:16)

---

5. Purpose, Testimony, and God’s Will

• Struggling to find purpose:
  Sketch admits he’s still figuring out his “godly purpose,” unsure how to use his platform for good (07:49–08:25, 23:24).
• Testimony as a calling:
  “I guess testimony is, like, probably what I think [my purpose] is.” – Sketch (07:49)
• Bryce introduces the “two wills” concept:
  • General will: Love God, love people
  • Specific will: Using unique talents and stories for God’s glory (43:09–44:38)

---

6. Faith, Doubt, and Relating to God in Brokenness

• Both host and guest share struggles with feeling like a “hypocrite,” unworthiness, and not being “clean enough” for God.
• Bryce reframes God’s heart:
  • “God's not mad at you. When you choose those things over him, it just breaks his heart. He's like, oh, I wish you…you could find it in me instead.” – Bryce (00:36, 26:30)
• Being “just human”:
  “You're not a hypocrite. You're just human…and that's not an excuse to keep doing what you're doing…but there's this, like, human aspect…we make mistakes, and that's why we need Jesus.” – Bryce (29:13)
• Both agree on the importance of honest prayer and bring everything—even anger or disappointment—directly to God. (34:40–35:19)

---

7. Addiction, Numbing, and Seeking Comfort

• Sketch describes using substances to feel comfortable or social and numb anxiety or shame (20:45–21:17).
• Cycle of substance and isolation:
  “It was like a sense of gratitude and, like, gratefulness for, like, the small things…then there got to a point from just the, you know, the substance abuse stuff to where it's like, you lose, like, your gratitude because you're numb. And like, living in numbness just doesn't work.” – Sketch (61:19–61:46)
• “If the alcohol would have made you satisfied, it would have only taken one beer…somehow it was like, like not enough.” – Sketch (52:30)

---

8. Transformation Through Vulnerability and Accountability

• Transparency leads to transformation:
  “If you want something you've never had, sometimes you gotta do something you've never done.” – Bryce’s mentor, quoted (71:40)
• Confession as a catalyst:
  “That stream was like...a come to Jesus moment with the world and him at the same time. So I was like, yeah, it gave me the power to go back to...him.” – Sketch (67:00)
• Vulnerability with self, others, and God as the path out of shame and isolation, especially for men. (74:47)

---

9. Finding Satisfaction, Security, and Significance

• Bryce’s 3 questions on fulfillment:
  1. Where do you find your satisfaction?
  2. What gives you your significance?
  3. Where do you find security?
• Money, fame, and pleasure “don’t bring joy or purpose.”
  “Once you're only focused on like money or views or just things of this world, like, you lose that sense of satisfaction.” – Sketch (54:37)

---

10. Memorable Quotes & Moments

• On Not Hiding From God:

  • “When we confess, even if we confess being tempted…that thing immediately loses power over me because I, like, just…said it.” – Bryce (63:41)

• On the Need for Jesus:

  • “When you have Jesus, you have everything. Everything.” – Bryce (46:25)

• Advice to Young Fans:

  • “You don't have to be like clean to come to God and you don't have to be ashamed of yourself and like God loves you.” – Sketch (74:24)

---

Important Timestamps

• 00:00–01:21 – Sketch opens with brutal honesty about feeling empty despite fame, struggling with addiction, and hiding from God.
• 03:40–05:28 – Sketch describes his patterns of escapism, benders, and why he avoids people (and God) when in that headspace.
• 06:27–08:25 – Defining purpose; feeling pressure to only show the ‘happy’ side; importance of testimony.
• 14:14–16:53 – Origins of Sketch’s streaming career; rise to fame with viral clips and memorable catchphrases.
• 19:47–21:17 – Early substance use, and using drugs/alcohol to mask anxiety or be more social.
• 23:24–25:05 – Struggling to pray, feeling unworthy, and formative spiritual experiences (Micah 6:8 as a foundational verse).
• 26:30–29:13 – Bryce and Sketch on God's character, shame, and the myth of perfect Christians.
• 43:09–46:16 – Bryce explains general/specific will and “parable of the talents”; using God-given gifts for a higher purpose.
• 62:01–64:37 – Sketch shares how being honest live on stream was relieving and transformative.
• 74:13–75:54 – Closing: Sketch’s advice to young people, emphasizing vulnerability, and Bryce’s prayer for Sketch.

---

Notable, Attributable Quotes

• Sketch (00:00): “I've done it all. I've seen it all, met everybody. You feel empty. I wasn't happy.”
• Bryce (00:36): “God's not mad at you. When you choose those things over him, it just breaks his heart. He's like, oh, I wish you...could find it in me.”
• Sketch (00:56): “I just confessed in my own way. It ripped the shame away. You don't have to be clean to come to God.”
• Bryce (29:13): “You're not a hypocrite. You're just human…and that's why we need Jesus.”
• Sketch (52:30): “How much money is enough, how much...how much things [are] enough? ...the answer is pretty much none of those.”
• Bryce (63:41): “When we confess, even if we confess being tempted...that thing immediately loses power over me.”
• Sketch (74:24): “You don't have to be like clean to come to God and you don't have to be ashamed of yourself and like God loves you.”
• Bryce (71:40): “Transparency leads to transformation.”

---

Final Reflections

• Sketch’s journey showcases the illusion of satisfaction in fame and the healing power of authenticity.
• Purpose is ultimately grounded in God’s love and sharing testimony, not in achieving perfection or ‘cleaning up’ one's act first.
• Vulnerability—with God and others—breaks the cycle of shame and isolation.
• Bryce and Sketch model a gospel-centered friendship: honest, empathetic, and focused on grace, growth, and mutual encouragement.

---

If you’re wrestling with similar questions about purpose, feeling lost despite success, or weighed down by shame or addiction, Sketch’s story is a reminder: You don’t have to be perfect to approach God. Community, honesty, and small steps of faith can be the start of transformation.

---

(Summary covers all major content sections, provides timestamps, and retains the guests’ original tone and language. Ads and unrelated intros/outros have been omitted.)

Transcript

[Sketch]

I'll bury myself with drugs, alcohol, traveling, eating. Like, felt dirty. I've done it all. I've seen it all, met everybody. You feel empty. I wasn't happy. I mean, this is a lot of people's dreams, job. You'd be surprised how, like, unhappy you can be with, like, when your dreams come true, if they're not, like, tied to a godly purpose. Like, I find myself not praying because I'm, like, almost, like, scared because it's like. You feel dirty.

[Bryce Crawford]

Yeah.

[Sketch]

So I don't want. I don't want to talk to anyone.

[Bryce Crawford]

Yeah.

[Sketch]

Or him.

[Bryce Crawford]

Are you afraid he's going to get mad at you?

[Sketch]

Yeah. Like, I was given something and then probably misused it.

[Bryce Crawford]

Dude, God's not mad at you. When you choose those things over him, it just breaks his heart. He's like, oh, I wish you. You could. You know, you could find it in me.

[Sketch]

Instead, I turn away from God because I feel like a hypocrite, like, unworthy.

[Bryce Crawford]

You said that, you know, if any of that ever came, came out publicly, that option A would be to call it quits and. Yeah, take your life. Did you wrestle with that? What was that?

[Sketch]

Like, something on my heart told me to just go. Like, to go live. I just left the camera dark so, like, for three minutes, just so I can, like, pace around and. And let people get in, so I could just be. They could just hear the whole story at once. I looked at the number. It was like, 100,000 people. I was like, I don't have anything written down or. So I just confessed in my own way. It ripped the shame away. You don't have to be clean to come to God.

[Bryce Crawford]

Hey, before we get into today's episode, I want to share two quick things with you. First, if these videos have meant anything to you, if they've encouraged your faith or helped you see the gosp a little bit more clearly, I just want to ask you to subscribe. A lot of people tune in every single week and haven't hit the button yet. It only takes two seconds, and it helps us keep putting these conversations in front of people who need them. And the second thing, this one I've honestly been really excited to say. I'm officially announcing our ministry's biggest live event to date, Open Heaven Live Podcast tour. It's happening November 8th this year at the Pavilion at Toyota Music Factory in Irving, Texas. This is going to be a night centered around worship, faith, real conversations, and genuine community. I believe God is going to move in a powerful way, and I would Love for you to be in the room. Tickets are on sale right now. You can head to Bryce crawford.org tour or just click the link in the description below. And please only get your tickets through my official site or that link below. I recommend not buying from random resellers online. I believe this is going to be a really special night, and I hope to see you there. All right, let's get into the episode. What's going on, guys? Welcome back to another episode of the Bryce Crawford podcast. I'm Bryce, and today we're with Sketch.

[Sketch]

Yes, sir.

[Bryce Crawford]

Come on.

[Sketch]

Thank you for having me, dude.

[Bryce Crawford]

Thanks for coming on, bro.

[Sketch]

Yeah, it's been a long time coming. I'm sorry for not answering your text as often, dude.

[Bryce Crawford]

It's all good.

[Sketch]

But that's how I am with everyone, bro.

[Bryce Crawford]

I'm the same way. I do way a way better job of keeping in touch with people in person, you know, then. Then texting. I think I've got, like, over. I get intimidated by texts, you know, I get.

[Sketch]

I've gotten into, like, a bad spot of not texting anyone. I got, like, into, like, a scuff with my family recently. Not like a bad one, but, like, more like they wanted to hear from me more often or get, like, me to respond to them. And I was like. I don't know. Part of me, like, comes, like. It comes from, like, a point of, like. I'll go. I go on, Ben. I'll go with, like, benders.

[Bryce Crawford]

Yeah.

[Sketch]

And then I just won't want to, like. Like, reach out to anyone. Yeah. Because I don't want anyone to know. Like, you think anything's off. Yeah.

[Bryce Crawford]

Oh, you think that if you reach out to people, people are gonna think something's wrong?

[Sketch]

No. If I, like, respond or something like that.

[Bryce Crawford]

Oh. Oh, Like. Oh, I see what you're saying. Yeah. Yeah. I wasn't. I wasn't at all upset. Like, upset or offended. I do the same thing.

[Sketch]

No. Yeah. I just figured it was. It's been one of my harder things. It's like, communication.

[Bryce Crawford]

Yeah.

[Sketch]

Because, like, I'll get into, like, spots where, like, I'll kind of, like, bury myself with, like, just drugs, alcohol. Yeah. Traveling, eating, like, gluttony type stuff.

[Bryce Crawford]

Yeah.

[Sketch]

So, like. So sometimes you can notice, like, my weight changes like this and my, like. So that's when you can know if I'm doing okay or from, like, going through it.

[Bryce Crawford]

Yeah. Have you been feeling lately

[Sketch]

all right? Yeah. Kind of on a bender.

[Bryce Crawford]

Yeah.

[Sketch]

Yeah. Yeah. Well, I don't know why I cried podcast all day, dude, you're okay. But I don't know. Just trying to find purpose, I guess. Yeah. And it's kind of hard to find it, so. Actually, when they're on a bender.

[Bryce Crawford]

Yeah.

[Sketch]

Because I was thinking about it on the way here, like, I just felt dirty. And then wearing, like, a diamond cross chain, like, doesn't it kind of like. I don't know. I was talking about, like, my family and friends, and, like, they would tell me, like, you probably shouldn't wear your chains. And I was like, yeah, but, like, at the same time, I should do it like I've been doing, so I can. Like, it'd be more representative of, like. Because I didn't want to come in here, dress like a monk and then act like I was a monk. I'd rather say, say, say what's been going on. Yeah. And then, because with the streaming stuff, like, everything happened so fast. Yeah. And I didn't know what I wanted to do. Yeah. It just kind of turned into, like, a dream job.

[Bryce Crawford]

Yeah.

[Sketch]

Because I've been like, I've. I've done it all. I've seen it all, met everybody and kind of, like. I don't know. I remember a time when my dad told me when I was a kid, he's like. Our pastor said that to him that the most people, like, go. Or like, a lot of people that go to him are, like, very successful people because, like, they've seen everything they can. They have access to everything. And then there's just no. You feel empty, kind of.

[Bryce Crawford]

Yeah.

[Sketch]

And that's kind of how I feel a little bit.

[Bryce Crawford]

Yeah. How long have you been feeling like that?

[Sketch]

Like, a couple years.

[Bryce Crawford]

Yeah.

[Sketch]

I'm. I just go in and out of, like, kind of, like, feeling good and bad. Yeah. And so I look up to, like, people like you. Like, Theo Vaughn's, like, one of the people I really look up to.

[Bryce Crawford]

Yeah. Well, bro, I mean, I appreciate you saying all that. I mean, before we get into all that. And I know people know you for the streams and the catchphrases and the glasses and all that other stuff. I mean, who do you believe you are right now? Who is.

[Sketch]

Why go. I go in and out of being sketching myself because, like, I don't know. I just don't want to be. I've always. I've always been, like, up and down my whole life. So, like, I try to just show, like, one side. I don't know. When I started streaming, I was like, what I want to do, And I was like, I never Want to talk about politics or. I never want to talk about, like, you know, like, I just, I wanted to keep everything fun and just make people be. Be happy. So I just want to show my happy side.

[Bryce Crawford]

Are you afraid that people aren't going to, like, almost, like, are you afraid people aren't going to, quote, unquote, like, what they see, if they see every part of you or.

[Sketch]

Well, I just don't want to go live and be on a bender.

[Bryce Crawford]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Sketch]

Because, like, I don't. I don't know what you can. Like, I'm trying to think, like, like, just the drinking, the drugs, the. You know, I smoke a lot of weed and stuff like that.

[Bryce Crawford]

Yeah.

[Sketch]

I did a month sober, and that was. That was awesome. And then. But I leaned on alcohol on it, so that was like, not like, I did. I did clear of weed. Yeah. And that was like, the first time I did it since I was, like, 17 or something. It'd be like 10 years. Wow. So I've been living, like, kind of in a fog, but as far as, like, who I am or, like, what my purpose is, I guess. I don't know. I guess testimony is, like, probably what I think it is, but.

[Bryce Crawford]

Yeah.

[Sketch]

So I had a conversation with one of the band members from Red Clay Strays, and he was, like, asking me, like. But, like, what we. What I thought my purpose was. And I was like, kind of. I told him it was testimony, I think, and that's kind of. I don't know. Like, sometimes I feel the need to be, like, perfect or something.

[Bryce Crawford]

Yeah.

[Sketch]

So that's why, like, I. I won't reach out or text back. Kind of keep things away. So, like, I can only show the good side.

[Bryce Crawford]

Oh, bro, thanks for saying that, dude. I mean, I, I, you know, it's interesting because a lot of people who really have a hard time and struggle the most are oftentimes people that are the funniest, the. The loudest, the most excited, you know, they look the happiest. And I had awful depression and anxiety in high school and stuff, but I was a big people pleaser. I did multiple sports. Like, I was, quote, unquote, friends with everyone. And when I look back at some pictures of me, you know, game or doing a sport or, you know, hanging out with friends, it's like you couldn't even tell.

[Sketch]

Yeah.

[Bryce Crawford]

That something was going on. And, and maybe you feel the same way. It's like you. You feel like people can't tell or whatever it may be.

[Sketch]

Yeah. Or like you like a lot of it's like, trying to hide it. And, like, some of it's, like, shame. It's almost like, you know, the devil. The devil. That's where I feel like he gets me the most.

[Bryce Crawford]

Yeah.

[Sketch]

Is, like, with anxiety or stuff like that. Like, I was anxious coming here, but I feel comfortable, like, being vulnerable. Yeah. But, like, that's why I don't, like, stream that often. Like, I don't really stream because when I'm trying to. When I'm doing that, I'm only trying to, like, make people happy. And, like, sometimes it's hard to make people happy when you can't smile yourself. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bryce Crawford]

I totally understand that.

[Sketch]

Yeah.

[Bryce Crawford]

So is that a big reason why you were telling me earlier you were trying to stay, like, move more off, live and do more.

[Sketch]

Yeah, I just feel more comfortable, like, in a. In settings that, like, I can control. And then, like, you. I feel like, in a certain way, like, when you go live, like, you have to be able to pivot out of it, like, because I think some streamers, like, either love it or, like, you like it. And if you don't love it, like, you're just chasing numbers.

[Bryce Crawford]

Yeah.

[Sketch]

And that's kind of what I've been doing was like. Or what happened. Because it started streaming three, four years ago. And then, like, you know, I got the card, like, got a Lamborghini, got a. Got a chain. Gotta watch, like, all the things, like, because that's. The other thing is I'll draw myself in, like, the worldly things, and then you find yourself empty. But I've kind of, like, been more scared to go to, like, I haven't been to church in a long time.

[Bryce Crawford]

You said you were scared to go to church just because you feel the shame is because you feel the shame and stuff.

[Sketch]

Yeah, probably the shame. But also, I moved and didn't have, like, a place where I was familiar with.

[Bryce Crawford]

Yeah.

[Sketch]

Yeah.

[Bryce Crawford]

What does your community and stuff look like where you live right now? Like, do you have a lot of friends?

[Sketch]

And it's pretty nice. Like, I live in Austin. I mostly stay home, to be honest. And then when I. When I move around, like, I have a lot of friends, but, like, I don't hang out with a lot of people. Yeah.

[Bryce Crawford]

And you. And you went to. You went to private Christian school growing

[Sketch]

up, is that right? Yeah, I went to a Christian school, and then I also went to public school.

[Bryce Crawford]

Okay.

[Sketch]

The private school was, like, probably 50 people in the class, and then the public school was, like, 1200. So I saw. I saw both sides of High school?

[Bryce Crawford]

Yeah. Yeah. I went to a private Christian school, and I think we had like 80 in my grade or something like that. Really? Yeah, dude. It was like 80 in her grade. And then I liked it a lot

[Sketch]

because some people, like, complain about, like, from my hometown. Like, both schools complain about it. But I was like, I kind of appreciated both experiences. Like, I would get in trouble at the private school for really. I got. We got in trouble for drinking, and it was because me and my friend got a minor consumption charge at like, what.

[Bryce Crawford]

At what age?

[Sketch]

I was probably 16. And I always hung out with, like, older, older guys at the football team because other football team, like, when I was on the. Yeah, private school was easy. Played with varsity when you had to get the whole team or the whole school to play.

[Bryce Crawford]

Dude, that's so true. We had like everybody on the football team at our school.

[Sketch]

I know. It was like half of you almost played D line. You played D line? Yeah, I played D line. Private school.

[Bryce Crawford]

Yeah. Dude, I was like the big string bean. I was like freshman 14 and weighed like 115 pounds. They had me at slant tackle and I'm next to like 6, 4, 2, 80.

[Sketch]

Oh, really? Yeah. That's insane. That's funny. But that's. That's exactly how like a private schools go. But I. I gained a lot of perspective from it. And then, like, I got like some designs from there. A lot of good mentors and stuff like that. But then you kind of like, phase. Phase out of it.

[Bryce Crawford]

And what made you start streaming in the first place?

[Sketch]

I was bored. And like, I was doing real estate in real estate when, like, 2020.

[Bryce Crawford]

Yeah, when everyone's in their house.

[Sketch]

Yeah. Like, what I first did was I was doing. I would just post clips and I was of. I used to like, fall war gonzos and like, I'd send clips like, of like troop movements, like, of Russia and Ukraine before it happened. And then once that war happened, like, the clips, like, blew up because, like, they actually invaded, like, Ukraine.

[Bryce Crawford]

So you're just making those off of a game and then it.

[Sketch]

Well, I was just making those off of, like, I'll take them from Twitter and I just upload them on Tick Tock and then.

[Bryce Crawford]

Oh, okay, okay.

[Sketch]

You got me on the. To the follower amount. Like it was like 6,000 or something like that. Yeah. And then what I did was I started. I started live recording, like, UFC fights, and then I'd get like, a lot of viewers, and then I get banned. I get a lot of viewers and I get banned. And eventually, I just was like, I'm gonna try it one time, like myself. And I did it. Went live. And, like, because the algorithm was, like, hot of, like. Like getting a lot of people from the UFC fights. Sorry, Dana White. Yeah. Like, I, like, I went live at a Tiger woods course, and I was, like, playing golf at Tiger woods thing. And, like, I got a thousand people. Like, immediately I was like, oh, I don't know what to do. And they all left because I wasn't. I wasn't doing anything. So then I found out, like, it was just, like, that's where, like, I. I knew I had to be, like, hot once. I was like, yeah. Like, that's kind of where my energy came from in the beginning. And then, like, kind of got tired of it.

[Bryce Crawford]

Yeah.

[Sketch]

Yeah.

[Bryce Crawford]

And then the Madden videos are kind of what really blew up. Blew up.

[Sketch]

It was playing Madden, and I did better when I played with other friends of mine, like Vortex Burfict. He was awesome. Play with Zach Lewis. Those are people that really, like, that's when I kind of, like, took off and I didn't realize how big it was or, like, it was hard to, like, understand how big it was. I was like, yeah, like, you know, I'd see, like, a Dortmund player, like, doing what's up, brother? Like, yeah, I think Bryce Harper did it. Like, Like. Like a bunch of, like, really big athletes. Like, yeah, like, we're doing the what's up, brother? Thing. And I just did that. And that was just from, like, a bong rip. Was like, I ripped a bong and I was late for a jinxy stream. And he was like, where are you? Then he showed it, and I was like, what's up, brother? That's it all the time.

[Bryce Crawford]

So. And that's. I mean, what was that, like, the process going from real estate sales to NFL players doing your celebration.

[Sketch]

It was hard to conceive, but it was, like, it was really fun. And then, like, I'm trying to think of, like, how to explain the process. Like, to me, it was, like, all a blur. And I was just living all in the moment.

[Bryce Crawford]

Yeah.

[Sketch]

So, like, I would just never, never thought any much of anything.

[Bryce Crawford]

You really process too hard.

[Sketch]

You were just like, yeah.

[Bryce Crawford]

Oh, I see what you're saying.

[Sketch]

Yeah.

[Bryce Crawford]

Wow.

[Sketch]

And part of it was like, when phase was a thing. Banks let me stay at his house. And that's kind of, like, what helped me, too, because I was, like, always out here in LA and, like, be like, go to the house and like, go. Go stream. Like, you'd like, you make me work pretty much. Not, like, work for him, but like.

[Bryce Crawford]

Like, he would stream.

[Sketch]

Like, you make me do, like, work harder. Yeah. So I was like. Like that. That helped a lot.

[Bryce Crawford]

But it's cool to have a. Have a friend like that in your corner that can always sharpen you in that way. You talked about on Theo Von's podcast. You prayed a prayer that you wanted to be happy and travel more. And you said God answered that. Yeah. You were in a season of depression. You said.

[Sketch]

Yeah, yeah. And that. That was kind of. I don't know why I was necessarily depressed, but, like, it was just kind of like.

[Bryce Crawford]

Yeah.

[Sketch]

Like, well, I'd wake up, I'd rip. Rip on two hours later, I'd rip a bone. That. Rip a bone. I was so just like. Like, just. I was like, just living, like, a life of being high, like, in my room, and I. And I didn't. I wasn't happy.

[Bryce Crawford]

Yeah.

[Sketch]

And then once everything else happened, then I got to where I am today, and it's like the unfulfilledness or unhappiness is more of like, no, I went and did all that. Like, what. What's the real purpose? I'm still trying to find that out, but.

[Bryce Crawford]

Hey, guys, quick break. Let me tell you about today's sponsor, Upside, gas, groceries, and dining. These three things we all know add up fast. Even on the tightest budget. There's no escaping them. But here's what you can control. Getting cash back when you fill up, hit the grocery store, or go out to eat with the free Upside app. Here's how it works. You open the app, claim an offer, pay with your card like normal, and then you get paid. It's as simple as that. And yes, it's cash back, not points you'll never use or credits that expire. It's real cash back you transfer straight to your bank account. I started using the Upside app before I fill up, before I eat out, before I grocery shop. And it's not even something I have to think about anymore. It just becomes part of the routine. Before I even pull into the gas station, I started checking the app. Upside has given back $1 billion to its users. To find out how much you could earn, download the free upside app and use promo code Bryce to get an extra 25 cents back for every gallon on your first tank of gas. That's an extra 25 cents back for every gallon on your first tank of gas using promo code Bryce. All right, now back to the episode. When did you first get introduced to like drugs and alcoh.

[Sketch]

Oh. I went to like a. That big public school. Does it. You know, it's just everywhere. Yeah. You know, ripping. Ripping bong was. Or getting. Getting like we was just like everyone at our school was doing it. I went to like a high school where it was like a pretty. Pretty big party. Party scene. So I was like, just kind of like. Like, I mean, it's. It's. It's like everywhere, you know, like, you'll go to a football game, there's beer. Yeah. Even on a Sunday.

[Bryce Crawford]

Yeah, even on a Sunday. Yeah, it's true.

[Sketch]

But where I personally got involved in it, I don't know. Like, probably like 15 was probably the first time I drank. First time I smoked was probably 17. And the smoking one was the hardest one to kick.

[Bryce Crawford]

Yeah.

[Sketch]

But then I'll go in vendors drinking and drinking.

[Bryce Crawford]

Yeah.

[Sketch]

It just. Sometimes it's like, I don't know why I do it.

[Bryce Crawford]

Like, maybe it could be just habit or do you like the feeling or like, what. What that was my next was like, what about it is.

[Sketch]

It's probably. It's probably the. Like, I just will feel uncomfortable around. Around people unless, like, I'm inebriated or something. And I don't know what that comes from. Maybe that comes from shame or like anxiety or like, what. What are they thinking of me? Like, what, what. What do they think of me? And it's easier to. To numb myself than to.

[Bryce Crawford]

Yeah.

[Sketch]

Think.

[Bryce Crawford]

Think of it kind of masks that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I totally understand.

[Sketch]

It makes me more social. I mean, I'm pretty social right now, so I don't know what. So I know.

[Bryce Crawford]

Do. You were so awesome walking up to our studio and being so kind to the guys and talkative like, yeah, cool crew. Oh, thanks, man. Thank you.

[Sketch]

Sick operation.

[Bryce Crawford]

Oh, thanks, man. This is the whole operation's three guys. You know, it's like we got a whole. We got a mastermind going.

[Sketch]

The light working in here is sick.

[Bryce Crawford]

Oh, well, I'm glad you like it. Thanks, man. Yeah, we. We just got this new studio, so you're one of the. The first maybe 10 people to sit the chair and let's go.

[Sketch]

So that's crazy.

[Bryce Crawford]

Warm it up. Put a nice dent in the cushion for the next person. Oh, yeah.

[Sketch]

That's why, you know, I'm. If it smells funny, that's probably for me.

[Bryce Crawford]

We'll just sell it on ebay. Yeah. Sketch butt cushion on ebay.

[Sketch]

Yeah. And so might work.

[Bryce Crawford]

When you talk about God answering that prayer, is that through the streaming and stuff that God answered that prayer.

[Sketch]

Like, I think so, because I think my purpose, like, of him giving me a platform is, like, maybe to help other people in some way by being open. Yeah. I think that's kind of where my purpose more comes from. Because, like, I. I don't know what else it is because I've tried the other. The other things. Like, and it's. It's definitely not just to sit there and get high and play video games.

[Bryce Crawford]

Yeah.

[Sketch]

Not knocking anyone else that. That does it or whatever. Like. Or like. Or just like. Yeah, like that. What was the question again? Sorry.

[Bryce Crawford]

No, no, you're good. I was. I was just talking about how you had got it. Answered that prayer through the streaming and stuff like that. Yeah, you were talking about finding purpose.

[Sketch]

And I think that that's what it is. And part of it is I get scatterbrained and, like, it's hard to, like, find purpose when you're scatterbrained and then you add, like, liquor and stuff into. Doesn't help.

[Bryce Crawford]

What. What do you find yourself praying for the most right now?

[Sketch]

Purpose. Or, like, sometimes I find myself not praying because I'm, like, almost, like, scared. Because it's like. You feel dirty. Yeah. So I don't want. I don't want to talk to anyone.

[Bryce Crawford]

Yeah.

[Sketch]

Or him. Yeah.

[Bryce Crawford]

Are you afraid he's gonna get mad at you?

[Sketch]

Yeah. Like, I was given something and then probably misused it. Like, that's kind of how I feel. But it's hard to, like. I don't know. It's like. It's hard to, like, find a way to find purpose. Because, like I said, like, it was like, what you touch and done everything, you realize that you feel empty. And then, like, like, true purpose, like, is like. Like, God's plan for you. I remember that was one thing about that private school I went to. We'd always say there was a prayer. One time I did, and I've gotten lucky with, like, a lot of prayers. But, like, there was one. I was like. I was like, God, give me a sign. I was sitting in church. This was. I was in high school, and it was like, immediately, the only Bible verse I knew was, like, Micah 6. 8. And it was like, what does the Lord require of you to act justly, love, mercy, and walk humbly with God. I was like, that was our football team, so that was our prayer. So I was like. I was like, it's pretty simple, like, marching orders or whatever. Yeah. So that's probably, like, my favorite Bible verse.

[Bryce Crawford]

But,

[Sketch]

yeah, like. And that's maybe where I need to find. Need to find my purpose, but I don't. I just don't know where to. Where to get it. Yeah, I'm kind of in a season of waiting. Yeah, that's kind of what I. What I feel like sometimes when you're waiting. Like, I guess God's worked it on me.

[Bryce Crawford]

But, dude, I was literally just talking to my wife about this this morning. We went on a breakfast date this morning and we're talking about purpose. And, you know, he was just like, yeah, I wish, like, someone could just tell me what to do and I would do it. And I'm like. I'm like, you know, I wish the same thing sometimes. And it just seems to not be that way.

[Sketch]

That's. That's what. That's. I agree. Like, sometimes I just want something. Like, that's why I like doing this stuff where it's like there's a director involved or something. It's like. Cause if I'm by myself, I'll just get drunk on stream or. Cause there's not much to do. Like, once you realize, like. Like, because live stream, like, it's just unedited, unedited vlogs. And a lot of. Yeah, a lot of, like, vlogs, like, are funny because the editing. Yeah, like when you. When you. When you don't have that and you have the. Just like, you don't have the. You have, like the live aspect and you're trying to, like, not be nervous walking around with a camera. Like, I don't. I. I would. I would get, like. I just would always feel nervous. I don't know why.

[Bryce Crawford]

Yeah, and I think, you know, because you keep talking about it a little bit or hinting about it. Like, I think, you know that even though you talk about still doing drugs and alcohol, that going to. That stuff isn't working. I know you know that. And rather the thing I wanted to really tell you before we keep moving on is like, dude, God's not mad at you. When you choose those things over him, it just breaks his heart, you know, he's like, oh, I wish, you know, you could find it in me instead. And that's every time. Like, I. Dude, there's so many times that. Cause when I was 17 and I went to. Cause I don't know how much you know about my story, but I had depression anxiety from, like, the eighth grade till I was 17. I've never done drugs or alcohol before, but I had, like, struggled with sexual sin a lot. I started a porn addiction when I was in the fifth grade and made a lot of mistakes, hurt a lot of people, and was a people pleaser and all this other stuff. And so when I was 17, I was gonna take my life. On Christmas Day and the night I was gonna take my life, I went to Waffle House to have, like, my last meal.

[Sketch]

And that's where you picked your last meal?

[Bryce Crawford]

Yeah, Waffle House did the All Star special.

[Sketch]

Yeah. That's not a bad spot, to be honest.

[Bryce Crawford]

Yeah, I know, dude. They can, like, sneeze on your food, but it tastes good.

[Sketch]

Yeah.

[Bryce Crawford]

So I went there, and, dude, no one preached to me. No one said the name of Jesus to me. And if I'm being completely honest, I was the most selfish, most lustful, most prideful, most broken version of myself.

[Sketch]

Yeah.

[Bryce Crawford]

But I was the most honest. And Jesus supernaturally revealed himself to me, and he stopped me from taking my life. And so I prayed this crap. You want to talk about getting lucky on a prayer? I felt like I got lucky. I said, jesus, if you're real, take away my anxiety and depression, because this is why I want to take my life. And, dude, I hadn't had crippling anxiety or depression in over five years. And last year, I got hit by anxiety by a Mack truck. Something happened in public. Like, I saw someone that had hurt me and that had said some things, and they didn't know I knew. And I got in my head and got really anxious and couldn't get out of bed. And I remember laying in bed thinking, just hearing Satan talk to me, going, you're a hypocrite. You can never tell anyone that. God set you free from your anxiety and depression because look at you now. You can't even get out of your bed. And I was so embarrassed.

[Sketch]

That's what I feel like is a hypocrite. Or, like, that's why, like, it's like. It's hard to be. Like, I'm trying to find a way to find purpose, but I turn away from God because I feel like a hypocrite or, like, unworthy.

[Bryce Crawford]

Yeah. And I. That. That as I'm being told that I got. I finally got myself to get out of bed and go on a run. And I went on a run, and I'm praying, and I just really felt like I hear God say, you're not a hypocrite. You're just human, and you're just a human man. Like, and that's not an excuse to keep doing what you're doing. I think you know that. But there's this, like, human aspect to go, dude, we're both broken. We make mistakes, and. And that's why we need Jesus, because if we don't have Jesus, then we're really going to be running around like headless chickens, you know, we're really going to not have it all together. And I. I think. I think we need to have more Christians that can stop acting like they got it all together because we got too many pastors that act like they got it all together. And I'm like, well, I can't relate to you because I feel like I'm going crazy sometimes, and I feel like I doubt God sometimes, and I talk about Jesus on a podcast, and I have a hard time reading my Bible sometimes, and I have a hard time praying, and I'm broken and you're broken. But it's like, these things make us human. And learning to lean on Jesus in these moments and has really. In that moment, I was like, wow, I'm really just a human, and that doesn't define me. And the second I started talking about it, like, yeah, it creeped up on me. But I realized I'm human, and it made me realize, like, I can't be my savior. I might have gotten prideful that I thought I had beaten anxiety. And then it got me again. I realized I didn't beat it. Jesus beat it. And I was just leaning on Jesus, you know?

[Sketch]

Pride's a hard one, too.

[Bryce Crawford]

Oh, it's so hard because you never see it.

[Sketch]

Yeah, but other people could see it before you. I definitely been more prideful lately. And I guess. I guess, like, if I had a question for you, like, how do you, like, find yourself solving, like, problems through Jesus? Like, is it through prayer, reading the Bible more, or is it, like, going to church? Is it, like, a mentor? Like, what's. What's your bro?

[Bryce Crawford]

If I'm being completely honest, it's like all of the above. The Bible in the Book of Romans says, do not be conformed to this world. Don't be like the world, but be transformed by renewing your mind. So we got to change the way we think by reading the Bible. So reading the Bible is important. Prayer is important because it builds personal relationship with God.

[Sketch]

How would you start reading the Bible?

[Bryce Crawford]

I like to recommend the Gospel of John. So John was a fisherman, so he tends to write a little bit more simply. He was also the only disciple that looked at Jesus at the foot of the cross, like, watching him be crucified. So I think that's important.

[Sketch]

I think that's a good one to start with. You read me pretty good. He writes pretty simply. All right.

[Bryce Crawford]

I'm the same way there. I can't look at. I can't look at the doctor. I need the fisherman to tell me what.

[Sketch]

What.

[Bryce Crawford]

What's going on.

[Sketch]

Yeah.

[Bryce Crawford]

And. Yeah, dude. And, you know, to be honest, like, the biggest thing that helped me a ton with Jesus is like, I don't know if you feel this way, but maybe you can relate. So I remember thinking, okay, let's say. Let's say for. I'm just gonna use the example because I'm talking to you, but let's say you're like, I really want to stop drinking alcohol.

[Sketch]

Right.

[Bryce Crawford]

And you're trying out of your own strength to not drink alcohol. Like, you're trying not to sin. You're probably gonna drink more because you're trying out of your own strength to stop.

[Sketch]

Yeah.

[Bryce Crawford]

And every time I try hard not to make a mistake, I blow my whole life up. Like, I tend to make five times more mistakes than I normally would because I'm trying not to make a mistake.

[Sketch]

Yes.

[Bryce Crawford]

Whereas when I. When I focus on just loving Jesus, that's the greatest commandment. The Pharisees, the legalistic guys, they were like, tell us what the greatest commandment is. There's 613 laws and 10 commandments. Which one's the best? And Jesus summarizes it all by saying, when you love the Lord your God with your whole heart and your whole soul and your whole mind, and with all your strength, you'll naturally obey the commandments. And so when I find myself.

[Sketch]

Wait, say that part again.

[Bryce Crawford]

Jesus, he responds to the Pharisees. They say, which, out of all 613 laws from the Old Testament and Ten Commandments, which one's the greatest? Because if Jesus said, well, the fourth law is better than all of them, they could arrest him, because that was blasphemy. And instead of picking one, Jesus summarizes all of 613 laws and 10 Commandments under this one truth, which is loving the Lord your God with your whole heart, soul, mind, and strength.

[Sketch]

How do you. How would you. How would you do that? Well, how do you. How do you. How do you love Jesus or love God like, And then, like, have it in your. In your daily life? Is it, like, do constantly prayer? Like, what do you do? Do you know what it says? Does it say anything in the. In the Bible about, like, like. Or what. What. What's your thoughts on like. Like, how do you do that all the time?

[Bryce Crawford]

For me, personally, I Think there's basic things and there's also things to your personality. For my personality, if I want to be the best version of Bryce, the most patient, kindest, gentle. I've got to wake up and the two things I got to do in the morning is spend some time in my Bible and go work out. If Bryce does those two things, it's like, that is life giving. And I do those things with Jesus and it helps me out a ton of. So there might be something specific for you where you're like, well, dude, to be honest, like, I just like sitting in the bathtub and soaking for 30 minutes and listening to worship music. And I'm wait, is that true?

[Sketch]

Well, I don't listen to worship music, but I'll just float around.

[Bryce Crawford]

Yeah, dude, you can in there. Like, seriously, like, you could. This may sound crazy, but, like, you can float around in there and pray and talk to Jesus. And my prayers always don't look like. Like, oh, you know, like all this. Like, sometimes I'm like, oh, you know what? Like, I'm. I'm kind of pissed right now that this thing happened, this person said this thing. It's kind of mean, and I'm upset. Like, I talk to God, I have respect for him because he's my Lord and He's my King, but he's also my friend. And, you know, I thank him. I make my request known to Him. But sometimes I'm just like, God, I'm really hurt right now, and I'm upset and I'm having a hard time.

[Sketch]

And sometimes I forget that he's like, you said he's your friend.

[Bryce Crawford]

You know, the interesting thing about prayer is, for example, like, with mistakes, like, the typical thing is like, oh, if I make a mistake, I want to go hide because I think that's what's going to do it. Or, like, people tend, like, to sin more at nighttime because I think the darkness is going to hide their mistakes. But God is all knowing. He knows everything. He knows what you're going to do two weeks from now. He knows what I'm going to do two days from now.

[Sketch]

He's probably already mad. No, I'm just kidding.

[Bryce Crawford]

But the beautiful thing is, when we come to him with things that he already knows, it builds the relationship and it builds the trust and it builds the love, and it shows that we care about Him. And that's really what faith looks like. That's what looks like bringing him into every day is you're constantly trusting that his way is better. Like, I'm going To choose not to turn to the alcohol today, even though I like the feeling, because it's left me empty the past few years. And I. I'm going to choose you instead. Because you. You give me purpose and you give me these things. And I remember growing up and being in high school, and when I became a Christian, I private Christian school, people thought, like, I was a buzzkill. They thought I was the righteous police. They thought I had, like. It was like, what? I went to private Christian school.

[Sketch]

And I probably would have invited you to a party, but.

[Bryce Crawford]

But in that moment, it was. I was choosing to trust that his way was better. And, you know, so many people were like, oh, you lost yourself. You know, you can't find your personality. I find my personality in sports, or I find my personality in partying, or I find my personality in sex, or I find my personality in drugs or whatever. But God gave me my personality back because I didn't know who I was before then. I was a people pleaser. I was struggling with sexual sin. I had depression, I had anxiety. I was trying to figure out my purpose, so I didn't even know who I was already then. What do you mean he's gonna take away my purpose? I don't even know my purpose right now. And when I found him, I got my personality back.

[Sketch]

I didn't.

[Bryce Crawford]

People, please. I wear Crocs and T shirts, and my wife said, get some new style, you know? And I'm like, this is just who I. And it's like, I talk the way I talk and I look the way I look because I got my personality back. And so I think everything in between, we think of God's will and God's purpose for our life, and we think it's some grand, elaborate, thundering voice from heaven. Like, you're going to move to Kentucky and you're going to do this. And it's like, well, maybe God's will for your life right now is just like, trust in him and trust in that he's better than the things that you're trying to do, to find purpose in. And.

[Sketch]

And when you say trusting him, it's like coming back to him. Probably for me, like, because when I. When I. When I hide, it's like it's from, like, everyone and everything. Like, it's hard to get out of that. Out of that cycle of. Of hiding.

[Bryce Crawford]

Yeah.

[Sketch]

And I. I don't know why, but it's just been something. Like you said. You think it's like a thundering voice, but sometimes it just, like, it Naturally comes. Yeah, I think, like, you reaching out was one of them.

[Bryce Crawford]

Dang. Praise God. Yeah, dude.

[Sketch]

Praise God.

[Bryce Crawford]

Amen. You know, isolation. I mean, just, like, I know we're, like, talking on the podcast, but I just mean this, like, to you. Like, the last thing I would want to see you do is isolate, you know, because that's where we give the devil the. The devil the license to use our brain against us. The war in the mind. And he uses stuff against. Bro, hiding from God has been the meta since beginning of time. Like, imagine being the first humans ever created and blowing the whole life up by eating from the one tree God tells you not to eat from. And they go and run and they hide from God. And the first thing God says is, isn't, I'm pissed off. He says, where are you? And that's God's heart for all of us is we run and hide. And God's like, wait, wait, wait. Like, I know you did something wrong, but, like, you come to me, like, I. Where'd you go?

[Sketch]

And it makes sense to. Because I forget what verse is, but one that always sticks with me, which is like, I don't know why these verses stick with me because not a lot of stuff. I'm not good at remembering things. But it's like the. The devil's workshop is idle hands. And it's like. Like how you said, like, when you started running and working out, like, starting your day, like. Like doing it the right way, like. Like with. With things. And like, I guess that is, like, purpose is like, even just, like, the small things, like taking care of yourself or. But I think that's where, like, the. I guess my sin trip triple doubles when I'm. When I'm not doing stuff, when I'm isolating myself and, like. And that's where, like, the sobriety. And when I. It's mostly sobriety, like, stuff like that I struggled with. I chose not to smoke today before I came here. Praise God. Yeah, I guess I don't know what it was, but I guess, bro.

[Bryce Crawford]

And that might. We have to understand, like, dude, when I became a Christian, like, I was still making mistakes, and I still make mistakes. Like, I'm human.

[Sketch]

Yeah.

[Bryce Crawford]

But, you know, I, like, didn't all of a sudden, like, I got saved in Waffle House. Like, God saved me from taking my life. And I woke up the next morning, and I'm, like, glowing like the sun. And I'm just like, you know, dude, I was struggling and I was battling, and the win for you today might be. Oh, Well, I didn't smoke before coming here.

[Sketch]

Yeah.

[Bryce Crawford]

And it's like, or you know, the win for me my first week was like I didn't cuss as much, you know, like the win for me my first week of following Jesus. Like I didn't cuss as much as I did the week before.

[Sketch]

That one's hard too because that's where like I feel guilty a lot. You know, getting on live and doing things that like, you know, a kid might see and then like they think that's the, the way to be or like, because like I'm platformed like in front of, front of people and like, like they're like what, what if sketch cast is sketch drinks? Like, like that works for him. Like that's where I feel like the guilt probably. I don't know where I was going with that. Sometimes I lose my train of thought.

[Bryce Crawford]

Yeah, no, dude, I do the same thing.

[Sketch]

And that's where like finding purpose is like hard because, or not hard but like I, I like, I, I, I think like the one thing I stay away from like is like Adderall and stuff like that because I, it takes away my, my personality in the terms of like, like, like I'm see I'm pretty ADD or ADHD or whatever. I'm self prescribed. I don't like going to the doctor

[Bryce Crawford]

like doing what do you eat an apple a day?

[Sketch]

No, no, no.

[Bryce Crawford]

You just don't go.

[Sketch]

No. A lot of smashed up grapes, that's for sure. Like even then I lost my train of thought. But like sometimes I stumble on onto stuff and like that's where like I think as a, an entertainer is like what, what my job is now. I didn't think it was going to be but that like trying to find what like how do I do that? Like in a way that serves God is like kind of like because you're grabbed like as an entertainer you're grabbing people's attention.

[Bryce Crawford]

Yeah.

[Sketch]

And I did like I was never with the one. Like I never really wanted to do that on, on purpose. It just kind of happened. Yeah. And then like getting, getting my, I mean this is a lot of people's dreams job and you'd be surprised how like unhappy you can be with like when your dreams come true if they're not like tied to like a godly purpose, you know.

[Bryce Crawford]

It's crazy what you just said. You just said, talked about how being an entertainer you got to grab people's attention but you didn't really have to do that. People naturally gravitated towards you, and that's a beautiful gift God has given you. So there's two kinds of God's wills for your life. There's a general will that applies to every Christian, no matter if you're male or female, no matter what race you are, where you come from, how much money is in your bank account, and that is love God, love people, Greatest commandment in the Bible. Like, every believer is called to do that, but then there's like, a specific will that may apply to different people. And in Matthew 25, it talks about the parable of the talents. Like, look at the gifts that God has given you. It says that this money manager gave three different people three different financial amounts of money. The first two guys, they went and they multiplied the money, meaning they used that talent that God had given them for that. But the last guy, he got scared, and so he buried his talent in the dirt. And the money manager got mad at him and he was like, why did you bury it? I told you to multiply it. And so that's where we can, like, look at our own life. Like, you look at your own life and go, well, what talents has God given me? And I'm going to use these for his glory and point people back to him. So even, even finding out, like, that was a great place to start because when I became a believer, I was doing prank videos before, like, I literally, like, lit my neighbor's lawn on fire. I was like, I'll expose myself. Lit my neighbor's lawn on fire. I was like, kissing moms and, like, just doing stuff and just being weird. Like, just weird. Yeah.

[Sketch]

Kissing moms.

[Bryce Crawford]

Yeah. Like, I would go, I would go to, like, the mall and like, like try to get mom to kiss me on the cheek or did a fake diarrhea prank in school.

[Sketch]

Yeah, like, stuff like that. Click page.

[Bryce Crawford]

Yeah, Literally, like, just crazy stuff like that. And then when I became a Christian, I was like, all right, well, I, I, I, I really want to talk about Jesus. I, I, I loved writing. I, I took these college essay classes, understand Shakespeare at all, but I would love reading hard stuff and simplifying it to make it easier to understand. And so I was like, I think I'm going to do that with the Bible. And I really like social media, so maybe I'll just use that for his glory. And instead of doing it for myself, because I was doing it to get people to like me because that's what was popular at the time and pranking and all, I was like, I'm doing this for God now. And finding that specific will, it wasn't that thundering voice, but it was just like, man, God, what if. What have you put on my heart? What gifts have you given me? And that. That kind of steered me in that direction.

[Sketch]

Over time, I find out what, like, my talents are. Because when you. Like how you said that when you. When you bury them, I guess, like, you kind of, like, lose. Like, when you. It's like when you. You. When pirates bury treasure and they lose it or whatever. Yeah, Like. Or can't find it. Like. Yeah, that's kind of maybe where I'm at right now. Like, buried. Buried some of my talents in terms of, like, not. Just not. Not. Not using them the right way.

[Bryce Crawford]

Yeah.

[Sketch]

Or not using them at all. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bryce Crawford]

What were you saying?

[Sketch]

No, I think that was about it.

[Bryce Crawford]

And, dude, that's the beauty about forgiveness is, like, when we use things God has given us not for the right purpose, or we make mistakes, or we sin, or we fall. The forgiveness of God. Forgiveness means to cancel the debt that someone owes you. So Jesus death on the cross canceled the debt that we owe him for our mistakes. And so we're just trusting that what Jesus did on the cross was enough to pay for my mistakes. And that truth gives me so much freedom. And I'm like, wow, you're so good. Thank you for doing that. Because either Jesus pays for it with his life, or you and I pay for it with our lives. And I sure as heck don't want to do that. So I want to trust in you, Jesus, and he really is the prize. Because at the end of the day, when you have Jesus, you have everything. Everything. And that's been. Dude, that's just, like, the most fun. It's so fun. And God's given you such a unique gift to make people laugh and to make people find joy and those things. Joy is literally a fruit of the spirit, and God has given you that gift, and I don't think it's a coincidence. And it's just a matter of figuring out how to use that for God's glory and how to do that. Yeah, that's a process, you know?

[Sketch]

Yeah, it's a process I need. I'm working through.

[Bryce Crawford]

All right, real quick. If these videos have helped you, the best way to support what we're doing here is by becoming a member of the channel. Membership helps support the ministry and helps us keep reaching more people with the gospel. You also get extra members only content, including early access to new episodes, extended guest cuts, members only shorts behind the scenes Updates, exclusive text posts, badges, custom emojis, and a monthly Q and A live stream where I can answer your questions more directly. I used to spend a lot of time responding in the comments, but as the channel has grown own, it's gotten harder to keep up with. So membership is now the main place where I can stay more connected with you guys directly. It's $8 a month in the browser or $11 a month in the iPhone app because of the Apple fees. So jump on your browser to save a few bucks to become a member. Just hit the join button right below the video. All right, enjoy the rest of the

[Sketch]

podcast and I think will come probably naturally like you said, like I probably just need to unbury the. Unbury myself out of these like benders or just unbury myself from like, like not serving God or you know, finding. Finding the real purpose. Yeah, because you, at the end of the day, like part of me is like scared like what if my purpose is boring? Like, you know what I mean? Like I get like a high off of some of the things that I do. Like I've just played a soccer match where it was like, you know, like 80,000 people or something watching it and it was like, wow. It's like that was fulfilling in that moment and then like it was sick and awesome and like a blessing. But then like right after I was like, now what? Like I've role played a soccer player for a day.

[Bryce Crawford]

Like that's like drug in its own way. Yeah, it's like okay, that. Yeah, I get what you're saying.

[Sketch]

Yeah. And kind of like staying, staying like on a. Like I need to do better. Like staying like attached to like a purpose. What would, what, what, how, how do you find?

[Bryce Crawford]

Like, I mean, dude, I still even struggle with that. Like I love fun stuff like that. Like just I love sports. So if I get to, you know, play pick up game of basketball, I like to ride that high. If I get to play pick up game of football or wiffle ball. Like I used to do that all growing up. And so if I get to do that again, I have fun. Or pickleball or whatever it may be or. Oh I remember like we filmed a video at Comic Con last year and I love Star wars and Hayden Christensen who plays Anakin is there and I was geeking out and then literally the people in front of me bought the last tickets to meet him. But literally right in front of me. I was so upset, but I was like riding that high that he was there and all that other stuff. But I Think it just all comes down to these three questions. I remember my Bible teacher said this. Where do you find your satisfaction? What gives you your significance? And where do you find security? And so like, you know, if I get in my car right now and I drive and you know, God forbid I get T boned by an 18 wheeler, the thing that gives me security isn't that car or the money in my bank account or that I've got a ring on my finger or that I have an awesome dog or awesome friends and we gotta have an awesome conversation. It's Jesus, he gives me security, you know, Whereas there's some people that live their life how they want to live and if they're on the edge of death, they freak out and they're like, oh, what's going, they get scared of death and they don't know or what that may be, or what gives you significance, like, where do you find your purpose and what makes you satisfied? If the alcohol would have made you satisfied, it would have only taken one beer. You know, if the drugs would have made you satisfied, it would only take him one joint, whatever it may be, right? Or one bong rip like you described earlier. But you know, just pointing back to what you said, obviously that's not the case. And so it's like, what makes you satisfied? And it's not always a feeling, you know, but that's the beauty about God is God likes to reward us with feeling him sometimes. But even in the moments that I don't feel him, his truth remains there. It's like, I hope you know I love you and if I don't see you for three months, I don't, I hope you wouldn't question that. I, I, I love you. Even if we haven't seen each other in three months, like, you know, you mentioned earlier, like, we hadn't texted in a while, but it, I didn't think twice about, like, I didn't think, oh, he's upset at me or oh, he's what? You know what I mean? It was like, I just trusted that you were doing your thing and that you were doing good and whatever it is. And yeah, that, I mean that's, that's what we do with Jesus, you know,

[Sketch]

100 and like, I, I agree with that, like, dissatisfaction part is the probably the hardest one out of all of them that I, there's so many different feelings of satisfaction that you can get when it gets to a certain point where it's like, how much, how much money is enough? Like, how much, how much, how Much. How many cars is enough, how much jewelry is enough, how much. How much. How much things this world that can like, like you do to like, feel fulfilled. And it's like, yeah. And I've found out that the answer is pretty much none of those. Like you. I was thinking about, you know, like, the idea of like, when I'm. I'm working on something where they think about like, I was like, what. What number would like be? Like, would I be satisfied with? And I was like, I was like making up up these NBA contract numbers in my head and think. And I was like. I was like, like, even like. And somehow it was like, like not enough. Like, it didn't bring me any, Any, any, any. Any joy like, to even like, like to think of it like that. Like it was more of like. And that's where I found myself. Like, I was like. Well, like, it took the. It took the fun out of it too. Because once, Once you. Once you're only focused on like money or views or just things of this world, like, you kind of like lose. You kind of lose that sense of satisfaction. And you know, I do know that the security is always there as a believer, you know, and then when you lose that satisfaction that comes from God, that's where you, like, it's hard to find purpose. And then that's. Yeah, that's what I'm working on right now. But like, I always find myself like feeling better when I, When I, When I catch myself like through like doom. Scrolling, like, just like, like seeing one of your videos or seeing, as I said, like, Theo, like, talk. Talk about like, you know, just being like open about like feelings or whatever.

[Bryce Crawford]

Yeah.

[Sketch]

Because I feel like I'm. We're pretty similar in some ways.

[Bryce Crawford]

The Theo edits always hit different on TikTok. Yeah,

[Sketch]

he's a good. He's an awesome guy too. Called, you know, a couple days ago to check on me. I don't know, like, it's rare to have that to like in. In people and maybe sometimes like, I guess it's like without God, like, it's hard to find. I don't know. Is it discernment? Is that. Is that the right word? Like, what's discernment?

[Bryce Crawford]

Yeah, discernment is just trying to figure out something. You're trying to make the right decision. You're trying to understand if. Do I go left or right?

[Sketch]

Are you.

[Bryce Crawford]

Should I trust this person or not? Should I. It's helping make a decision, you know?

[Sketch]

Yeah, I guess my, My compass, like in my discernment Was like, has been thrown off through, through, through various different forms of sin. So it's like I feel like the more clear headed I get, the better my discernment gets. Through discernment, maybe I can find my purpose. And yeah, because I wouldn't only be able to use my platform like to glorify God. Not like I want to find something that I can like look at, be proud of and like not just prideful. Like yeah, because like sometimes it's like get a deal, go buy immediately go buy something. I do not have a financial advisor. But like it's like kind of like, yeah, chasing that sense, I guess I'm chasing that sense of satisfaction in, in the wrong places. And like my discernment's been thrown off through just not, not probably trusting in God. Maybe like part of me doesn't want the party to end.

[Bryce Crawford]

And that's bro. I mean that's honest and that's all God wants is, you know, as we were processing, it's like, what's the honest response? And you know, I don't want you to leave here not knowing like your ultimate purpose, like if you didn't leave, if you left here with anything is just to love God. Yeah, love God. Like that is flat out your purpose. And then figuring out the specific stuff is like, that'll come. But loving God, man, is the biggest deal. And to be honest, you know, God's not unless he asks you to. But you know, just because you want to wholeheartedly start following Jesus, it doesn't mean you gotta become a pastor. You know, we need people in the entertainment business that make people laugh, that point people to Jesus and the way that they act and carry themselves and talk and things like that. We need people at the Planet Fitness counter loving Jesus and every person that they interact with when they scan their badge and waiters and waitresses and everything in between. So yeah, God's going to restore your purpose. And I was thinking about this verse, just hitting back on the. You were talking about the discernment thing. There's two instances particularly on the alcohol and stuff and the substances. In Proverbs King Lemuel at the end, I think Proverbs 31 or Proverbs 30, he talks about alcohol and he says, hey, if you're important leader or like a king or something, it might be wise for you not to drink alcohol because it might sway your decision making. You know, he kind of talks about how it affects discernment. And then in the New Testament it talks about, it says, do not be Drunk with wine, but be filled with the spirit for it is a waste. And I think that word choice is so interesting. Isn't it crazy that we call it being wasted?

[Sketch]

Yeah.

[Bryce Crawford]

When you're on it and it's like,

[Sketch]

oh, that is crazy.

[Bryce Crawford]

And. But you know, when we. When we get on drugs or alcohol, it's like, you're wasted.

[Sketch]

Yeah.

[Bryce Crawford]

But the Bible says, for it is a waste. And it's interesting. And so. Yeah, I just think those things I. I thought of those and I'm like, man, that's so. That's so encouraging to go. Like, man, I need. Dude, I need Jesus every day.

[Sketch]

Yeah.

[Bryce Crawford]

Bad.

[Sketch]

That's what I need to get better at is. Or like, what I work on is, like, coming to him every day. But a lot of it is trying to. Because, like, it's like when you have the devil and then angel on your shoulder. Yeah. Kind of like, idea. Like, it's like the devil tells me, like, I'm wasted. So, like, I'm unworthy or. And then like, the angel sides, like, like, says, like, you have purpose. Go find it. Like, can we.

[Bryce Crawford]

Can we talk about. If you don't mind, because I know you. I remember when we first called you, you wanted to talk a little bit about you. You went through a really dark season.

[Sketch]

Yeah.

[Bryce Crawford]

What was that like?

[Sketch]

I don't know. It was like. It was like just. It was almost a. A blur. But, like, it was. I felt alone. I isolated myself. And like, I couldn't be truthful with anyone because with everything that came out about me, it was like I had the devil telling me, like, you can't do anything like. Or you can't, like, be truthful with anyone, like, because what will they think? Yeah. But then that's kind of like. I guess another part of my purpose is probably, like, it's not to, like, how you said people, please, because, like, like, that's. That's where like, I guess, like, the devil is like a people pleaser, like, in a certain way. Like. Yeah. But that, that. That time was like, I felt like I just had to hide. Hide myself. Or like, I couldn't be fully open with anyone. Yeah. And it was actually like, I. I'm glad everything happened the way it did because it created, like, it allowed me to be open and vulnerable, even though it was hard. Yeah.

[Bryce Crawford]

Because I know you had said on an interview before, you talked about how you had lived with a fear of your past becoming public, and then it did, and that created that avenue for you. Where was God for you in Your mind during that season.

[Sketch]

Yeah. Like, not very present or not, like, he wasn't present. I wasn't very present. I remember. I remember one way. The one way I would. When I was. When I was, like, feeling good and like, it was like a sense of gratitude and, like, gratefulness for, like, the small things.

[Bryce Crawford]

Yeah.

[Sketch]

Like, always being, like, thankful. Always being, like. And then there got to a point from just the, you know, the, the substance abuse stuff to where it's like you lose, like, your. Your gratitude because you're numb.

[Bryce Crawford]

Yeah.

[Sketch]

And like, living in numbness kind of like, just doesn't work. Yeah. Is what I've. What I've come to realize.

[Bryce Crawford]

And you, You. You said that, you know, if any of that ever came. Came out publicly, that option A would be to call it quits and.

[Sketch]

Yeah.

[Bryce Crawford]

Take your life. Did you wrestle with that? What was that? Like,

[Sketch]

when it first happened, I. I was like. It was midnight in la, so, like, that time is like, I couldn't get home if I wanted to. So I was at my friend Bank's house and I was like. I just left. And then he came looking for me. And then my parents called me and, like. Like, people. God showed up for me, like, through other. Other people. Yeah. And maybe that's kind of like where my purpose is, is, like. I guess is maybe. Maybe through, like, how other people showed up for them. Like, showing up for other people in that way.

[Bryce Crawford]

Yeah.

[Sketch]

Yeah. Like through loving. Loving people the right way.

[Bryce Crawford]

So did you run away from that house because you were wanting to take your life or you were one?

[Sketch]

I didn't even know how to. I was too scared to be honest. I was like, that was. That was the option. But, like, it was like.

[Bryce Crawford]

Yeah.

[Sketch]

In the back of my head, I

[Bryce Crawford]

was like, I wouldn't really want to do this. You're more just running away.

[Sketch]

Yeah. Like.

[Bryce Crawford]

Yeah, that's what you're saying.

[Sketch]

I. I literally went to a. I went to a hotel next to the airport and was just kind of like, like, how do I. I. How do I get out of this? Yeah. Yeah. And then, like, people called. Like, I remember it was like my management team, which is. They're awesome, but they're like, do you want, like, a PR person or, like, do you want, like, you can say it's a. Like, AI. Like, you can try to get out of it. I was like, I don't know. Something on my heart told me to just go. Like, to go live and, like, just

[Bryce Crawford]

own up to it.

[Sketch]

Yeah. Because there's like, there's no Sense in, like, hiding anymore.

[Bryce Crawford]

Well, dude, when we confess. Well, when we leave things in the dark, we give the devil the license to use it against us.

[Sketch]

Yeah.

[Bryce Crawford]

You know, so when we confess, even if we confess being tempted, you know, like, oh, I felt tempted to do this thing. If I, like, text one of my friends, like, I feel like making this mistake, it's like that thing immediately loses power over me because I, like, just. You know what I mean? Yeah, I really. I admire that and I. I really respected that and admired that a lot about you.

[Sketch]

Thank you.

[Bryce Crawford]

And, dude, you did it in such a way where it was like. Because I remember seeing clips on. On Tick Tock of that stream and. And bro, it was like the. It was so. It was like, funny when you, like, opened it up and then you were like, no, but this happened. And like, that just. That was a part of my past.

[Sketch]

And yeah, it was. It was insane too, because I was like. I didn't know what I was gonna say. I just left the camera dark. So, like, for three minutes just. Just so I can, like, pace around and. And let people get in. So I could just be. People wouldn't, like, they could just hear the whole story at once and be done with it. And then I looked at the number. I was like 100, 000 people. I was like, holy cow. Oh, my God. I don't. I don't have anything written down or. So I just kind of, like, confessed in my. In my own way. Yeah. And like, like, the feeling of relief after that was like. Like crazy. Like, after the being, like. Because that was never, like, couldn't be used against me. Yeah. Part of me was, like, scared, like, just in a multitude of ways, like, it just could be used against me. And I'm appreciative of the person who, whatever, discovered it was like. Because they. The way they did it really took all the power away from me. So, like, it was like the. The response was he. Like, it was like. Like the response was easier than holding on to it. Like, like, once it was. I was like. I mean, like, I either live in shame or I can, like, like, admit to it. And then, like, keep going and thank God people stuck by my side and stuff like that.

[Bryce Crawford]

Yeah. Because we love authenticity. We love honesty. Like, we, like. I just say we as in people in general. Like, yeah, love those things. And that's admirable.

[Sketch]

I've. I have.

[Bryce Crawford]

I have a few questions, I guess, about this topic. I don't know if anyone's asked. If you don't, they're Like, a little bit more deeper. I guess I just kind of want to know, like, how did. How did all that. How did that season of your life occur? Like, how did you get involved in that? What period of your life was that? Were you in a dark place,

[Sketch]

addicted to pornography? For sure, that was one thing. And is isolation, too? Is there just, like. Is, like. I didn't want to, like, come to Jesus for a shower because I was ashamed. So I just, like, just kept rolling in. In the mud and like. And that was like. Like in just very various different forms of it. Like, like, that. That stream was like. It was a. It was pretty cool because it was like a come to Jesus moment with. With the world and him at the same time. So I was like, yeah, it gave me the power to go back to. Back to him and, like, thank God no one used it as, like, blackmail against me. That would have been probably a harder way to.

[Bryce Crawford]

Yeah.

[Sketch]

Deal with it versus, you know, some kid dropping a YouTube video. I was like, yeah, it was like, thank. Thank God he did it that way.

[Bryce Crawford]

Like, I. Yeah, and how did it get, like, where. How did it. How did that even get discovered? Like, where. Where did that.

[Sketch]

Like, I have no clue. I've never. I never watched a video of that. I turned. I just never.

[Bryce Crawford]

That's so good, though.

[Sketch]

I never. I never. Everyone told me not to look on the Internet.

[Bryce Crawford]

That's good. I. You know, I. I try not to do the same thing. I. I try not to read comments and stuff like that, just in general, because it's like, I don't want to get my feelings hurt. You know, someone says something. Something to me, and it's like, you

[Sketch]

know, so someone hits you with a good one, too. They're like, like, all right. Got me. Yeah.

[Bryce Crawford]

Literally, it's like, dang it.

[Sketch]

You know, but sometimes they're accurate, too, and.

[Bryce Crawford]

Yeah, so that's what. That's what hurts. Yeah, but. But you said after all this came out, you kept saying, like, God is good all the time.

[Sketch]

Yeah.

[Bryce Crawford]

That's because you were just grateful that that moment brought you back to Jesus.

[Sketch]

Yeah, just more of like. It's like. It's kind of like sometimes I use it as just a saying, but, like, that's kind of like what I've gotten you. Just like, I do truly believe that, like, I wasn't. I was never angry or, like, it. It almost like, ripped the shame away.

[Bryce Crawford]

Yeah.

[Sketch]

But now the shame is in, like, substance abuse or whatever.

[Bryce Crawford]

Well, it's interesting because the Bible talks about in the Book of Romans, that nothing can separate us from the love of God. And it says that all things work together for the good for those who are in Christ Jesus. And bro, probably from like midnight to 8am you're probably like, how the crap does this work for the good? You know, everyone experiences that in the lowest of moments are like, how the heck? Even I heard this quote one time, and I just run with it. Even Batman has dark nights.

[Sketch]

Yeah.

[Bryce Crawford]

You know, it's like, even he has dark night, dark moments and seasons.

[Sketch]

Yeah.

[Bryce Crawford]

And. But like you said, it made you appreciative for God. It made you grateful. It made you go, wow, this. I really need to run back to him because he's the only one that can help me in this moment.

[Sketch]

Yeah. And I think, like, I don't know, being. Being able to be vulnerable, like, was. It was a gift that he gave me through. Through that. That. And I think in some way that can help other people or be like, you know, a way I can use my platform. That's why I appreciate, like, you and Theo again, like, because, well, like, when I see Theo, like, he's. He's vulnerable. And like, those things are, like, what I gravitate towards because my discernment with, like, with people is usually. Usually pretty accurate. Or like, you know, like, knowing whether they're good or bad for me or like, they're like, you know, And like, vulnerable vulnerabilities, like, kind of like the. How. How could I word this? Vulnerability is like. And like an escape from shame. And vulnerability, like, allows you to be, like, open with God and then other people. And how I was able to have my first relationship, like, praise God. Yeah. Pretty sick. And how's that going? Good. Good. Yeah. Very appreciative for that. And then, like, I guess vulnerability ripped away the shame part of it. Yeah.

[Bryce Crawford]

My mentor always says. He says transparency leads to transformation. And then he one time heard him say. He said, if you want something you've never had, sometimes you got to do something you've never done.

[Sketch]

Yeah.

[Bryce Crawford]

And, like, a lot of people want transformation in their life, but they're not willing to be vulnerable. And he's like, well, if you want transformation in life, you got to be vulnerable. You got to lay it all on the table. Jesus said, blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.

[Sketch]

And I guess because I used to be scared of flying, and then I'm still scared of flying, I've gotten over. Maybe not because I have to drink on the plane, but I'll have a drink on the plane, then maybe a pre game. But that like at one point it was like what led to all the success was like there's just something that made me say like in my saying was. I'm gonna say it the non cursing way, but it was like effort jump. Like. Like you know that feeling like when you're scared to jump off a cliff or something. Like you're scared to go like from like a high point. Like. Yeah, like that's. That's like what my. My mantra was. That led to like me going everywhere, me meeting a lot of people and like all these dreams coming. Coming true. And then like through that like it built a platform which now I have like the ability to use. It's just you know, once again finding. Find that purpose. But like you had it's talking about. It always feels. Feels better than like sitting with it. Because when you're sitting with. With it, like I feel like you're like sitting it with it like either with the devil or with God. And like it's like like if you're not doing anything like back to that verse. Like the devil's workshop is idle hands. Like it like a lot of times it's the. The devil when you're in like those places of like lowness or like he said like at night, like is when it comes out or whatever. Like. Yeah, that's kind of. I don't know if I was gonna make a point there sometimes like. But that's just me talking, bro.

[Bryce Crawford]

It's all good. You, dude, you haven't. You have an audience with millions of people for a lot of them young guys.

[Sketch]

Yeah.

[Bryce Crawford]

What would you want them to take away from your story?

[Sketch]

You don't have to be like clean to come to God and you don't have to be ashamed of yourself and like God loves you. Like kind of like how you're saying like that stuff and being vulnerable with each other is like probably the best way to. To grow like true, true relationships.

[Bryce Crawford]

Yeah.

[Sketch]

Yeah. Because I think as men, like we. We struggle with vulnerability because we. We feel the need to puff our chest out or something or you know, I guess that's what I would say. I wish I'd have something cooler to say, but I think that's pretty cool. Yeah. Well, hopefully, dude, I would.

[Bryce Crawford]

I would love to pray for you before we close if that's okay.

[Sketch]

That'd be perfect.

[Bryce Crawford]

I would love to do that. That. Yeah, bro. Jesus, thank you so much for today. God, thank you for sketch. Thank you for his life. Thank you for us getting to finally hang out. Thank you for being here. Thanks for waking us up. God, would you just bless Sketch? Would you just reveal to him his. His purpose? Not just that he needs to love you. We're talking God specifics on how he can use his platform to glorify you, things that he can do to glorify you, ways he can grow closer to you. God, would you reveal that stuff to him? Would you send more people around him to be in his corner who love him, who love Jesus, who want to sharpen him, who want to be there for him, and who want nothing from him other than just to see him thrive physically, spiritually, emotionally, all of the above. God, we pray that this episode bless his people. We love you. Jesus, bless Sketch. It's in your name we pray. Amen.

[Sketch]

Amen.