Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Breaking Up is Hard To Do

Summary

The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast: Episode Summary

Episode Title: Allie Schnacky and Natasha Bure - Breaking Up is Hard To Do
Release Date: February 25, 2025
Host: Candace Cameron Bure (CandyRock)
Guests: Ali Schnacki and Natasha Bure
Theme: Breaking Up is Hard To Do

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Introduction and Topic Overview

[01:09] Candace Cameron Bure:
Candace opens the episode by comparing life to a rollercoaster, emphasizing the importance of navigating its ups and downs together. She introduces the theme for Season Nine, "Girls Under Pressure," and welcomes her guests, Ali Schnacki and Natasha Bure.

Personal Transitions and Engagement

[02:10] Ali Schnacki:
Ali shares her current life transition—engaging with her long-time boyfriend, Austin. She discusses her fear of leaving her family behind and the emotional complexity of moving into a new season of life.
Notable Quote:
"It feels like you're breaking up with them, even." – Ali Schnacki [04:07]

[03:38] Ali Schnacki:
Ali elaborates on her relationship with Austin, highlighting their childhood connection and her decision to let him propose, signaling her readiness for marriage.
Notable Quote:
"Every single time God forced me into a new season, I would never choose it." – Ali Schnacki [22:25]

Natasha Bure’s Transition to Dallas

[07:05] Natasha Bure:
Natasha discusses her deliberate move to Dallas, driven by a desire for personal growth and community rooted in her faith. She reflects on her past experiences of feeling stagnant and her journey to finding meaningful relationships in a new environment.
Notable Quote:
"Savor the moments that you're in, because the Lord is faithful in providing the things that you need in that moment." – Natasha Bure [30:40]

Handling Breakups and Relationship Challenges

[13:28] Ali Schnacki:
Ali shares her first breakup experience in high school, emphasizing the maturity required to let go of a close friendship for a healthier future.
Notable Quote:
"Love really does want you to, like, go." – Ali Schnacki [16:34]

[17:13] Candace Cameron Bure:
Candace reflects on her own experience with "Full House," describing it as a unique kind of breakup after eight years of close-knit relationships. She relates it to personal growth and moving into new life seasons.
Notable Quote:
"Each decade is something that we either look forward to or dread, just depending on how you see it." – Candace Cameron Bure [23:28]

Parenting Adult Children: Listener Questions and Insights

[35:45] Candace Cameron Bure:
Responds to a listener question about parenting adult children, emphasizing the importance of being a good listener and offering advice only when asked.

[38:55] Ali Schnacki:
Ali stresses the significance of parental trust and affirmation in fostering independence in adult children. She shares a biblical reference to Gideon, illustrating the power of encouraging words.
Notable Quote:
"There’s so much power to breathe life into people by the words we say." – Ali Schnacki [40:14]

Embracing Seasons of Life and Contentment

[32:52] Ali Schnacki:
Ali recounts her grandfather’s realization of the importance of contentment over perpetual striving, tying it back to the episode’s theme of embracing current seasons rather than always seeking the next transition.
Notable Quote:
"That's a great thing that God always calls us to be uncomfortable." – Ali Schnacki [33:28]

Final Thoughts and Listener Takeaways

[40:14] Candace Cameron Bure:
Candace wraps up the discussion by reiterating the importance of being grateful and embracing each life season. She previews the next episode, which will explore body image.

Key Takeaways

1. Embracing Transitions:
   Life transitions, whether personal or relational, are challenging but essential for growth. Embracing these changes with faith and support can lead to meaningful development.

2. Communication in Relationships:
   Effective communication, especially during significant life changes like engagements or relocations, is crucial for maintaining healthy relationships with family and partners.

3. Parenting Adult Children:
   Parenting shifts when children become adults. Providing a supportive environment by listening and offering advice appropriately fosters independence and trust.

4. Contentment Over Striving:
   Finding contentment in current life seasons, rather than constantly seeking the next big change, leads to deeper satisfaction and stronger relationships.

5. Faith and Community:
   Building a community aligned with one’s faith and values provides a strong support system during life’s transitions.

Notable Quotes

• "Every single time God forced me into a new season, I would never choose it." – Ali Schnacki [22:25]
• "Love really does want you to, like, go." – Ali Schnacki [16:34]
• "Savor the moments that you're in, because the Lord is faithful in providing the things that you need in that moment." – Natasha Bure [30:40]
• "There’s so much power to breathe life into people by the words we say." – Ali Schnacki [40:14]

Conclusion

This episode of The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast delves deep into the complexities of breaking up and transitioning through various life stages. Through candid conversations with Ali Schnacki and Natasha Bure, Candace explores themes of love, loss, growth, and faith, providing listeners with valuable insights and encouragement to navigate their own life challenges with grace and purpose.

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Stay Connected:
For more episodes and resources, visit CandyRock Entertainment.

Transcript

[Candace Cameron Bure]

What's your biggest piece of advice? Keeping the kids wanting to come back home, even when they're grown. My answer?

[Natasha Bure]

Good food.

[Unknown]

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[Candace Cameron Bure]

Life is like a roller coaster, but it's so much better when we go through it together. And in the beauty and the chaos, if you look for it, life is full of love, joy, and kindness. Welcome to the Candace Cameron Bure podcast. Season nine is Girls Under Pressure, and my guest hosts are Ali Schnacki and Natasha Bure. Come join us. Hi, ladies.

[Ali Schnacki]

Hi. Hey.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Today we're talking about. Breaking up is hard to do. Breaking up. Breaking up could be in relationships. It could be breaking up with friendships in school, even your parents. No. Don't ever leave, guys. Don't leave.

[Natasha Bure]

You want me to leave all the time? So I don't know what she's talking about.

[Ali Schnacki]

I never leave.

[Natasha Bure]

She could not get rid of me quicker.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Well, you were a little Miss Independent.

[Natasha Bure]

Yes, I was.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

You needed to fly. Do you still live at home, Ali?

[Ali Schnacki]

Yeah, I still live at home with all of my siblings and my parents. And honestly, I'm excited for this topic because I feel like it's so. It just fits with what I'm going through right now. Me and my boyfriend have been transitioning into getting engaged and just the whole idea of leaving.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Wait, so you know you're getting engaged? Do tell. Do tell.

[Ali Schnacki]

Okay, guys, so I'm a little different than the normal girl.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Okay.

[Ali Schnacki]

I, like, wanted him to know that I was ready for him to ask me before he asked me. So I told him, just wait until I tell you that, like, I'm ready for you to ask me. And so just this last year, and.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

You knew, though, that he was ready. You guys talked about this, that you were gonna take steps. You were dating towards a goal of marriage.

[Ali Schnacki]

Yes.

[Natasha Bure]

Okay.

[Ali Schnacki]

Me and My boyfriend Austin, we've actually known each other since we were 14.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Okay.

[Ali Schnacki]

And he's my brother's best friend. And then 20, 21, we went on our first date, and we've just slowly been wowing since then. But he's been ready to be married to me for a long time.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Okay.

[Ali Schnacki]

I'm more of the one. I. Y'all, this is, like, such a good topic for me because I'm a transition hater. I hate transitions.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Okay.

[Ali Schnacki]

And so I think that fear of leaving my family and leaving the house and never having that back, like, you know, everybody always says once you leave, you never have it back. It's the blink of an eye. And, like, I can't even remember what it was like with my siblings. I think that all of that fear over the years just, like, maybe even kept me in a season a little too long.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Wow. I think there's probably a lot of people listening going, man, I wish I had kids that wanted to stay home forever. Or maybe they're saying, like, well, I wish I felt that way about my family. I can't wait to get out of here. That's a beautiful thing that you love your family so much. And it's actually the transition because of. Of possibly leaving to get married is nerve wracking for you or what. I mean, what word would you use to describe it?

[Ali Schnacki]

I would say nerve wracking. But honestly, as I. As I really press in and, like, pray about what God's called me to do in this next season, I really and just so comforted because all of the fears that I used to have about leaving my family, and it almost feels like. It feels like you're breaking up with them, even. And honestly, they're probably going to hate me for saying this, but I remember the day that I sat my. My actual siblings, my parents down and I told them, hey, I told Austin, like, I think I'm ready to make the next step. And so he's praying about when to start asking me. And all these things. I remember they all started crying. I was crying because it. It was so hard to bring up. I procrastinated for a long time. I think I told Austin, like, maybe two months before I told my family. And so they're coming.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

You procrastinated telling your family that you were ready to get married?

[Ali Schnacki]

Yes. And what's. What's. What I really want to clarify, too, is they want the best for me. Like, we all want the best for each other, but we just love each other so much.

[Natasha Bure]

Yeah.

[Ali Schnacki]

That transition is really hard. And one of the comments that was made to me was, I can't believe you're trading us for him. And, oh, my gosh.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

I know one of your family members.

[Ali Schnacki]

Said that, and they said it out of love. They said it out of love. You know, they were just sad going through it.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Yeah.

[Ali Schnacki]

But it. It hit me so hard, and it hurt me so bad because I almost, like, bought into that lie. I think of, am I literally ditching them for someone? Like, they've been there my whole life, and I realized when it comes to God and what he has for you, he just adds on more good things.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Yeah.

[Ali Schnacki]

And it. And I've. I honestly think that has to do with a lot of transition, and so I'm so excited to dive into this.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

So I just have to ask that you're. I'm assuming your family loves Austin.

[Ali Schnacki]

Oh, my gosh.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Like, if he's your brother's best friend and now your future husband.

[Ali Schnacki]

Guys, my boyfriend Austin lives next door with my brother Noah. Like, literally next door.

[Natasha Bure]

He could.

[Ali Schnacki]

He could not be more family than he is right now. My family could not love him more. It's just the transition season that's been a little rough, but I'm. I truthfully am in my heart so excited.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

I somehow have a. Have a feeling that you guys, once you get married, aren't gonna go too far away from your family.

[Ali Schnacki]

We've already been looking at lots in the neighborhood, but I also have been praying, like, Lord, as much as we want this, what do you really want? Because I hear so many things, too, about, you know, when you get married, moving a little bit away just to establish your. Your new life together, not being able to run across the street to mom's house, so.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Right. Yeah. So you're embarking in a new season. Yeah, soon. We don't know when yet.

[Ali Schnacki]

I know if life can just slow down a little bit. Right. I feel like it never does, but I'm really excited. Good.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

We're happy for you.

[Ali Schnacki]

Thanks.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Um, Natasha, what about you? What are some transition times in your life that have been challenging or breakups?

[Natasha Bure]

I feel like I went through a pretty big transition season this past year. I moved to Dallas, obviously, as you know. Um, but, yeah, I have been.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Everyone wants to know why you moved to Dallas.

[Natasha Bure]

I honestly, I'm such a fan of change. I actually love transitions. I feel like growing up, we moved so many times, so many houses. I've been to so many different schools. That's, like, a big part of my life is change. And I feel like when my life is a little stagnant and a little boring, I crave change, which may be unlike a lot of people, you know, growing up in the same place with the same people, but that was just never how I grew up. So this past year, I was coming up on my lease and figuring out if I wanted to resign. And I had gone to Texas a few times and met some people that I really loved. And I just fell honestly in love with the community and the people out there. And so I started praying about it. And I'm really blessed and fortunate, obviously, that my job can allow me to live and move forever. So prayed about it and felt really called to just take a leap of faith and move to Texas and figure it out. When I got there, there wasn't really like a huge rhyme or reason other than I just wanted to grow. And I feel like you're only growing when you're put in a position that's a little bit uncomfortable. And I will say the first few months were pretty uncomfortable. And it was actually very funny because I had a very similar transition season, I would say, when I got out of high school. And that was actually very tough for me because I didn't go to college and all of my friends that I graduated high school with went off to college and I didn't have any community. And when I was sitting around working a job and all my friends were away, I resorted to a group of people that definitely just kind of led me astray and weren't the best. And I think that it was very. It was very tough on my relationship with my family at the time. And my brothers, we, like, weren't as close, which is just so polar opposite to how we normally are. But I just really. I just really took a different path. And so this time around, moving to a whole new state, moving across the country by myself, my parents didn't go, literally, because I.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

You. I moved Natasha with the U haul, like, from the house to the apart.

[Natasha Bure]

Her apartment in Los Angeles, apartment to apartment. Like she's moved me before. But I.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

But Natasha did everything herself for her move to Dallas. Like, literally packed up the pod herself.

[Natasha Bure]

I just, like, made the decision. I really felt called. Packed it and drove.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Drove her car, the pod, got there, unloaded it, unloaded by my apartment, ordered furniture.

[Natasha Bure]

They didn't come visit me or see my place until I was like six, seven months into living there. So very.

[Ali Schnacki]

Guys, that's crazy.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

I want you to finish your story, but I'm just going to add because The Dallas thing, a lot of people ask me, well, how is that transition for you? Are you so sad that Natasha moved?

[Ali Schnacki]

Yeah, that's what I'm wondering.

[Natasha Bure]

That she wanted me to go.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

I really did. I, you know, why not? Not because I don't love you and wouldn't miss you. But I know Natasha, right. And one thing about her, that she's a very determined person. And so I wanted to see her spread her wings and fly because she's never lived anywhere other than with us or near us. But knowing the reasons that she moved out there, that I knew the group of friends she was going to be with and wanted to plant some community roots there, made me really happy because I don't think that she had those same type of roots that were really grounded in Christian friends that were pursuing God, Godly relationships. And that's not to say she doesn't have friends in LA that have those relationships. But you know, living in California is just very different than living in a place culturally that is accepting of the Christian faith and they're more like minded people.

[Natasha Bure]

So that's not to say that you can't have community that aren't believers.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Oh yeah, not. Listen, I just want to clarify for sure, for sure. We both know that half of our, our friend groups aren't believers. We, we have friends of, you know, everything. But, but for, for you as a young woman, I was very happy to know that you were pursuing community, that most of them were like minded people and I just was excited for you to grow in that way.

[Natasha Bure]

Yeah. And I had been out of the house. I left home when I was 20, so I had been out. Why are you laughing?

[Candace Cameron Bure]

I'm sorry, this is like when mother, daughter stuff comes in. I'm only laughing because. Yeah, you just needed, you needed to go. For you.

[Natasha Bure]

Yes. No, I know I did. I, I'm. But I'm saying I'm. I moved out at 20 and it was within that time that I, I just, yeah, I wasn't surrounding myself with the best people. And then I ended up moving home for a year because of COVID and not having a place. And then this past year when I was, you know, figuring out if I wanted to re up my lease, I just felt so called to go. And it's funny because I didn't really have any reason to be in Dallas. Like I don't have job there, I don't have a bunch of friends. And I remember the first two, three weeks that I went there, I did not meet or see a single person I was, you know, mind you, building my apartment again by myself because I didn't have any friends to, like, call and help me, but I called my dad, just crying, and he was like, you just have to pray for community, and the Lord will provide it for you. Like, it might not be right now, but just hold on. And it was actually such a beautiful and testing moment because I had been in that similar season right out of high school where I was desperate for friends, and I just ended up snatching up these people for comfort rather than, you know, the types of community that are going to be lifelong. And so this time around, it was very testing for me that, okay, I might not have a billion friends in this brand new city and everyone to hang out with, but, you know, I have one, I have two, and I'm gonna grow, and I'm gonna take the opportunity if someone wants to meet for coffee that I don't know them really well. I got to build all these friendships, and it was really. It was such a beautiful time, but it was a very full circle thing, like almost a round two in a way, even though totally different, moving to a new state. But it was a very, very fun experience for me.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Well, that's good. That's. Yeah. So potentially scary in transition for you.

[Ali Schnacki]

Yeah, I love.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Very exciting one for Natasha. What about relationship breakups? Ali? I think you've been dating the same person since you were 14, right, y'all?

[Ali Schnacki]

No, no. So not since I was 14.

[Natasha Bure]

They just knew each other when they were each other.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Yeah.

[Ali Schnacki]

Okay. We, like, grew up together. We've only been dating for two years now.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Oh, got it, Got it.

[Ali Schnacki]

But. But Austin was actually my first boyfriend. He was my first kiss. He was my first just everything. And when I was in high school, I wasn't allowed to date, so that was probably a big reason why. And for me, a lot of kids don't like that. But for me, I actually really loved it because I felt like a lot of the shame and bad, bad decisions I probably would have make made. I didn't. Just because I had a rule in my family. And, yeah, I also got to form really cool connections with people and learn what I did and what I didn't like from the people that I was close to. But what I love about what you were saying about Natasha was that when you really love somebody, you want them to go, even if it hurts you. And it's been cool watching my parents transition through that and how they're genuinely wanting me to step out now and to what God has For me next. But it reminds me so much of this friendship that I had in high school with this guy who I. I wouldn't say we're dating, because we really weren't. I wasn't allowed to, right. But he was like my best friend for probably a year and a half, close to two years, which is a long time. We were facing all the time, hung out all the time. Like, seriously, just one of the best people that I knew. And even still to this day is one of the greatest people. And I remember it was one of those things. And I'm sure some people can relate to this, but when you're that close to the opposite gender, somebody is going to catch feelings a majority of the time. When you're that connected, that close. And so that was our story. I felt like I knew in my heart, even though I loved him as a person, I was. I. I didn't think he was the person God had for me. And I kind of knew that in my heart. And I thought as long as I communicated that to him, even though I knew that he liked me like that, as long as we were on the same page, he knew where I was at, I could keep him in my life. I didn't have to lose my best friend. But time after time, the same conversations would happen. And it finally got to a place where it was just hurting both of us. Too bad to be in the air that we had a conversation, and I really had to say, like, God, is this the person you have for me? And if not, I have to love him enough to, like, let him go find what you do have for him. And that was honestly probably one of the hardest conversations in my life. Especially when you're young, too. You don't really.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Of course. And that's so mature, too.

[Ali Schnacki]

It was rough. But you know what? It felt so right. It felt so right. And that next year, it hurt me so bad. I did not talk to anybody that next year I was friends. I was done with guy friends, done with everything. Just Lord, next guy I'm close to, please let it be my husband. You know, we all pray that and just break up. Please. And sometimes it works like that, sometimes it doesn't. But, yeah, that was probably one of the hardest things of my life. But I grew so much through it, because the truth is, love really does want you to, like, go.

[Natasha Bure]

Yeah, you know, I feel pretty similarly just with my brother Lev having gotten married, which is so beautiful. And I love his wife. I truly adore her. But in the beginning, it was a little Bit weird of a transition just because our family is so close and so then to have somebody else come in and then him not be at all of our dinners or things like that, it's just. It feels weird and different and I don't know. I think that was also a huge transition for me and something that I definitely had to work through at first. And now, you know, you get acclimated to what that looks like. But how is that for you?

[Candace Cameron Bure]

I actually don't have any breakup stories. No.

[Natasha Bure]

But I'm talking about transitions in terms of, like, lens. I was here only boyfriend.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Yeah. I never met him at 18 and then we were married at 20.

[Ali Schnacki]

Are you serious?

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Yeah.

[Ali Schnacki]

I never knew that. That's so cool.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Thanks. Yeah. So I'm thinking about the transitions in my. In my life, unlike the ones that you guys shared some breakups and school transitions. I think one of the. The most significant transitions for me that felt like a breakup was when Full House ended, truly. Because they were a second family to me and still are very much today. And that's the thing now, looking back, oh, 30 years, you know, since we've done that show, I'm still friendly and friends with everyone, so. So that part's great. But that was. That was a strange breakup to have eight years of your most formidable years of your life then just come to an end. A complete, like, bye, see ya. We're not coming back and pretending to be a family anymore.

[Ali Schnacki]

Oh, that sounds so sad.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Yeah, it was sad.

[Ali Schnacki]

Yeah.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

And yet. And there isn't a real family bond in the sense of you're not really related, so you're not obligated or there. There isn't necessarily an event that's going to put you all together again. And. But to spend every day for eight years with a whole group of people was really hard to break up with them. And it made me sad. But that is when I met. Do you know his name? I know, but then I was like, papa. Do I say Papa? But then not papa for her vow. But that feels weird saying Val for you.

[Ali Schnacki]

How old were you? And full house ended?

[Candace Cameron Bure]

18.

[Ali Schnacki]

You were 18. How did you. Like, how did you. You were on set, I'm pretty sure, like, every single day almost.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Yeah.

[Ali Schnacki]

For eight years.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Like, how did you season and then you get the summer off?

[Ali Schnacki]

How did you deal with that transition? Like, now you don't have anywhere to go.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

It was a hard transition because it is. It's like a lot of so much love that you have that just suddenly comes to an end. But that transition was eased in the sense that I had met Val and I we dating and I knew at that moment this was just a new season of life. Just like when you get out of you graduate from high school, you you get to decide what you want to do. You can go on and have a career, you can get a job, you can go to school, right? You can go take a couple years off and go tour Europe, you know, whatever you choose to do. But it's a new season and that's where that break was from the show in my life, which made that transition a little bit easier. But nevertheless, it was still like a sad one for me.

[Unknown]

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[Candace Cameron Bure]

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[Candace Cameron Bure]

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[Ali Schnacki]

Yeah, I think one of the biggest lessons I ever learned in life, because like I said, I was a transition hater, was that every single time God forced me into a new season, I would never choose it. And I think that's where this new season with getting engaged is so different than the rest is. Before it was high school ended, you grew out of dance, your best friend moved away. Like, it was nothing in my control. I was just forced into it and I had to just deal with it. Right. But this one, I actually had to choose, like, okay, I'm stepping into this next thing. But I think what gave me confidence to do that is I've seen in the past in my life that every single time God took something away, he always brought something, if not better as well, like just as good every single time. And I think, oh my gosh, how much would I have missed out on had I stayed in the same seasons that I never wanted to leave?

[Candace Cameron Bure]

It's so true.

[Ali Schnacki]

Like high school, I didn't want to leave high school. I bawled my eyes out when it ended. I wasn't gonna see any of my friends, you know, but I would never be where I am today. And I love where I'm at today.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Yeah.

[Ali Schnacki]

You know?

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Yeah. That's how I've. I have felt with different seasons of work in my life, but also very much motherhood. You know, that transition from not working because I worked as a kid and then transitioning into being full time mom was a really difficult one in the beginning. But I look back and I'm like, I have the most amazing blessings from that transition. That was difficult for a couple years because I was just trying to find out, find myself and figure out who I was in motherhood. And then I'm like, God, this is the most amazing season that you've provided these children for me. And not only that, but then you gave me a different amount of time with my day that I'm juggling it differently that now I'm actually, I have more time to spend with you, Lord. And he grew me in that season as. As his daughter, as a woman that so desired to get to know God better. And that was through that season of motherhood. And of course that hasn't ended. God just keeps throwing. Throwing that desire. Yeah. And there's been other. And then you move into the next transition. I think about our lives like you guys are in your 20s, and I feel like every decade is something that we either look forward to or dread, just depending on how you See it. And I can honestly say that you legit could not even pay me to go back into my teenage years. I'm like, the twenties. I love them because I was raising kids, but I didn't feel nearly as good about myself or as confident or even know who. Like, I didn't know myself in my 20s. And when I went to that next decade, like, 30s, I was like, oh, yeah, this is where it's at. Like, and then now my 40s, I'm like, this is even better than my 30s. And now approaching 50, I'm certain it's just going to keep getting better. But that's in terms of because I know who I am in God. That's the confidence. It's not because of things that I have or the circumstances or what I'm doing and not doing. It's just like, God loves me. God gives me a life that I get to pursue him and share people. Share about him with other people. And that is exciting to me. Go ahead, Josh.

[Natasha Bure]

I have so much on my brain.

[Ali Schnacki]

I have a question for you. Sure. So I'm just thinking about, like, these people, right, that are listening. And you said, like, you felt called by God to move to another state. How do you. How did you, like, know you felt called by God to transition somewhere?

[Natasha Bure]

I just felt stagnant in a lot of areas in my life. And honestly, I wasn't even praying at first for a transition. I just was praying to God, like, lord, reveal yourself. Whatever you have planned for my life, would you just make it so evident and, like, put it so heavy on my heart that I feel innately called to do that? And so it honestly was just through a lot of prayer and then confirmation of just, like, little things or people talking or conversations that I would have that I just felt even more encouraged. And then it was up to me to either, you know, make that leap of faith or not. And so that was ultimately how I felt called. I just had one thought before I get it off my brain or before I get it off my brain, what am I saying? Both of you talking about, even, like, you saying how each season of your life, it's gotten better, and you obviously being or used to be like, a transition hater. I honestly have always been the opposite. Like, I always want things to go faster. Like, I want to get out of the season that I'm in. When I was 10 years old, I was telling my parents, like, I can't.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Wait till I'm 18 and I can move out the house.

[Natasha Bure]

Like, literally always. Like, I Just wanted the next phase of life. And I remember a few years ago, I had a really tough breakup and I was just at such a low point in my life, and I thought that the next season was for God to bring me someone new. So I just was kind of waiting around like, okay, I broke up with this person. They weren't for me. Are you gonna reveal who this next person is? And within the midst of that, I didn't even realize that the Lord had provided all of this brand new community girls that are now truly like my sisters, my best friends. And this entire time, I was kind of waiting around thinking that it was going to be a guy. Because we always have our own perspective of what that next season is. Right? And I had totally missed the season that I was in. That next, like, transition season was through my girlfriends and meeting all these people in Texas. And I. I think that that's something it's so encouraging not to miss and savor the season that you're currently in prior to the upcoming transition. Because I know when I was younger, I just was like, I want to do this. I want to do this. That I couldn't enjoy what I had.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

This is funny, though, because when you moved to Texas and what are you going to say? I get nervous with you on the show and it's going to say the wrong.

[Natasha Bure]

I know. I don't think watching you guys is. What are you.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

I'm like, I don't think I'm going to say the story that you just told that you didn't see the season right in front of you with Community. And I was legit telling people. People are like, why Natasha moved to Texas. And I'm like, oh, for Community.

[Natasha Bure]

Right?

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Because she has girlfriends there. It's for Community.

[Natasha Bure]

But I.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

But I didn't know that your intention was like, maybe not intention, but your. Your thought or your prayer was like, oh, you're waiting for the next guy season.

[Natasha Bure]

No, but that wasn't why I moved.

[Ali Schnacki]

What?

[Candace Cameron Bure]

She's confused. I just gone awry.

[Ali Schnacki]

What is she saying?

[Natasha Bure]

No, I'm just saying when I was still in Los Angeles, I went through this breakup and I was so low and sad about it, and I thought, okay, I just have to wait. And the next, like, big trans transition season would be when the guy. Yes, but that's not why I moved, Mom.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

No, I understand. I totally understand.

[Ali Schnacki]

Okay.

[Natasha Bure]

Okay. You were saying? Okay, I'm so confused right now.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Guys, this is perfect mother daughter talk. So if you think you're the only one that doesn't Communicate.

[Natasha Bure]

Yeah. I'm just saying within that time when I was so low, I. I obviously then realized it and was like, wow, the Lord is so faithful in my prayers of providing those people. But I didn't even realize that he had placed all these specific people at this specific time that I needed the most. And I had it in my mind that I was expecting something else when he provided exactly what I needed. And so that's more of my point, is savor the moments that you're in, because the Lord is faithful in providing the things that you need in that moment. And then when that transition period comes in that next season, then you can go on, you know, with open arms and welcoming that.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Yeah, that's wonderful. Beautiful.

[Ali Schnacki]

You know what it makes me think so much about? Just the fact that we're all running our own race at different paces.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Yeah.

[Ali Schnacki]

And I think for me, like, just hearing what you're talking about, it is so easy, especially when I was single and all my friends were dating to look at all their transition seasons or when they were going to college. And I did not want to go to college. I didn't know what college to go to. I didn't feel called and to almost feel like I needed to manufacture in my own strength, transition in my life just so I could keep up with what everyone around me in my age group, people in the same social realm as me, were doing so that I felt like I wasn't falling back in life. But when I really realized, like, no, God's plans for us are so unique to us, and we don't want to miss what he has for us, and our timing is completely different than other people. It changed everything for me. And my grandpa actually told me something a couple weeks ago that impacted me so much, and it reminds me of what you're saying, but he was basically telling me he lived his entire life waiting for the next thing, and he was never truly content. And what I love about you and I, I've been learning so much in this is God always calls us to be uncomfortable. At least with me, I've realized that whenever God's calling me to do something, it's always something that's too big for me to handle in my own strength, so that I have to grow and I have to rely on him. And there's a difference, though, between being comfortable and content. And I truthfully believe when we're really doing it right, we can be growing and uncomfortable, but we can be content on the inside because we know that, you know, we have everything that we could ever want when we have God and when we have people around us that love us, Community. And so my grandpa told me a couple weeks ago, and it impacted me so much that when he first started his family, he was always striving for more. And he felt like he missed out on all of the, like, joy that life had to offer. And it actually killed me hearing him say this. And he basically was saying, like, he'd build a house for, like, him and my grandma that would be perfect for them. And then the second that it was done, instead of resting in it and actually enjoying life, he'd go and he'd buy another house and sell that house. And it broke my grandma's heart because she just desired to be there with him so bad, but he was always chasing something better.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Yeah.

[Ali Schnacki]

And he said for the first time in his life, he's, I think, close to 80 years old now. He was sitting down in his little house, the smallest house I've ever had, with a little coffee and sipping it. And he said, this is the first time in my life where I feel like I've been truly content. And I've bought into the lie my whole life that I had to do more. I had to level up when really all I ever wanted was right in front of me. I just didn't take a second to really embrace it. And sometimes God calls us to seasons where everyone else is transitioning, and we are really just called to embrace where he's brought us.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Yeah.

[Ali Schnacki]

You know, and that's okay. That's a great thing that.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

It's such a good reminder. Thanks for sharing that story. Let's take a listener question. We have two today. The first is from Mary Phyllis. She says, do you have any pearls of wisdom on parenting adult children? I'm an empty nester. Well, Mary Phyllis, if you haven't watched the season on parenting, I really encourage you to watch that because we talk all about that. I. I would say for me, and I want to hear from you girls, because I want to know what you would like your parents to know what so you can speak on behalf of all people that are leaving the nest. But parenting adult children, what I'm learning in this season is to be a listener to my kids, to give advice when asked or ask them if I may give advice to them if they want to hear it. Because as adults, and I'm talking, I mean, my kids are now kind of, well, mid-20s. Max is still 22. So there's even a difference in those parenting ages at 22 and 26. But I'm my, my kids always know that I'm available for them and I'm here for them. And I always want to offer advice, but I learned to restrain myself and ask them, like, do you just want me to listen to this or would you like my advice on this? Because I know sometimes adult kids may come in and like share with you, but they really just want you to listen. They just know, they just need a safe place to listen for someone to listen and not really give advice. And other times they really want advice. And so that's what I'm learning is to shut my mouth more in adult parenting. What about you guys? What would you want? Mary, Phyllis, or anyone out there who's transitioning into an empty nester. And it could be anything. It doesn't have to be about what.

[Natasha Bure]

I said, honestly, something that one of my best friends always. To piggyback off what you said. She always will ask me whenever I'm upset or I'm coming to her for advice or whatever, she will just say, what do you need? Like, what do you need? Do you need a hug? Do you literally need an ear? Do you want advice? Which is similar to what you said. But I think in a season of transition, there's been times even where you and papa feel like I'm so independent that like I maybe don't need help or I don't want help, but like, maybe deep down I'm like, I wish I, I wish they asked if like I needed anything or whatever. But I know that to you guys, you're like, she's got it. I know that you don't worry about that, but sometimes I just wish there was even like the offer or something like that.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Well, Natasha, she's going to hug you more.

[Natasha Bure]

I get to hug you more. She calls me the other day and she was like, yeah, whatever, I'm not gonna get into this.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

But yeah, say it. Just say it.

[Natasha Bure]

No, you're just like, I don't know.

[Ali Schnacki]

What I'm allowed to do.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

And it's like, what are you talking about? Cuz sometimes you scare me, Natasha.

[Natasha Bure]

Mom, what are you talking about? I don't scare you?

[Candace Cameron Bure]

You don't scare me, but I, I'm, I'm in the season as. Because you don't live at home and you are fully independent. I mean, you have not been dependent on us as parents since you were 18. And I mean that because Natasha's been financially independent since she was 18 years old. So when she moved out, she moved out on her dime completely and come.

[Ali Schnacki]

On, Natasha, get a girl.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Yeah. So she really, truly has been independent since she was 18. And so I value our relationship so very much that I don't ever intentionally want to say things that would upset you or irritate you. And so when I say like, oh, you scare me sometimes, I'm just saying because I want our relationship to be great and it really is.

[Natasha Bure]

Right.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

But you know, there's sometimes I'm still your mom and I bug you.

[Natasha Bure]

Well, it's not point. And we had a conversation.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

Sorry, this is starting in a pain.

[Natasha Bure]

Sorry. No, I mean, we even had a conversation the other day, or not the other day. This was like a few months ago when we were in the kitchen. And sometimes you just have to explain, express what you need. And sometimes it can be hard because if you don't express that to your parent or your significant other, how would they know how to react? So even in like a transition season, some kids might want to, you know, want a hands off parent and they're like, just give me space, that's what I need. And then I'm like the type of person where I always act like I need space, but I don't want space from my family. But I don't feel like. Sometimes I feel weird being like, could you like, like hang out with me more or can you come do this? So sometimes it's just having that conversation about your child. Yeah. What do you need?

[Candace Cameron Bure]

What do you want?

[Natasha Bure]

Because sometimes I won't, I, I just, my, I have too much pride to say it. You know what I mean? And that's just the truth. So I think in those transition seasons or any season of life, just asking, ask your parent and then child or parent, ask your child, like, what do you need? What do you want? Like, just tell me so we can have a better flowing relationship.

[Ali Schnacki]

I honestly think for me, one of the greatest things is just knowing that your parent trusts you to make the decisions that they've instilled in you. That Trust, I think 9 out of 10 times calls you higher and actually makes you comfortable to stand on the decisions that you make and be the person that they've literally raised you to be. And a lot of that too has to just be like reaffirming your child. Like, that you're proud of them, that you're proud of the decisions that they're making, who they are, who God's molding them into be. Maybe they're not. Maybe like literally you're struggling with your kid right now and you're like, they are just going haywire, like, running the opposite direction. I don't know what to do. Call them higher. I'm reminded so much in scripture of what God does with us. There's a story in scripture, actually, I love this, where Gideon, Gideon, this man, he's hiding in a wine press and he's scared. He's known as a timid man. And an angel of the Lord appears to him and says, gideon, mighty warrior. While he was hiding. And you know what that did? That spoke life into him and he became a mighty warrior. And I just think, like we have, like we talked about in another episode, so much power to breathe life into people by the words we say. So if you're going through that season with your child, like, remind them of who you believe God's created them to be, not just the position they're at right now.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

That's so good. That's so good. One very quick, quick answer, short answer on this one. Emily wants to know what's your biggest piece of advice keeping the kids wanting to come back home even when they're grown. My answer, good food.

[Natasha Bure]

Food.

[Ali Schnacki]

100% food.

[Candace Cameron Bure]

That was so good, guys. Thank you so much. We're coming back next week and we're going to be talking about our bodies and body image. It's going to be a good combo. Okay? Remember, when you are under pressure, being grateful on purpose can lighten your day. So we made a simple gratitude guide for you this season with daily reminders and scripture to encourage you. Go to Candice.com to find the link and we will also put it in the show notes. Until next time, be grateful all day, every day. Candy Rock Entertainment.

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