The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast: Dr. Josh and Christi Straub - Help Kids Discover Their Identity

Release Date: January 23, 2025
Host: Candace Cameron Bure
Guests: Dr. Josh Straub, Christi Straub, and Max Bure
Theme: Becoming Better Parents by Helping Kids Discover Their Identity

Introduction and Setting the Stage

Candace Cameron Bure opens the episode by likening life to a rollercoaster, emphasizing the importance of shared experiences during both good and challenging times. She introduces the episode's focus on parental guidance in helping children discover their identities, featuring experts Dr. Josh Straub and Christi Straub, along with her son, Max Bure.

"[00:26] Candace Cameron Bure: Life is like a rollercoaster, but it's better when we go through it together."

Max Bure's Early Experiences and Identity Formation

Max shares his childhood experience of moving schools and feeling isolated, highlighting a pivotal moment when a friend named Charlie chose to sit with him, significantly impacting his life.

"[00:00] Max Bure: I moved schools and I ate lunch by myself for the whole year... he would come and he'd be like, all right, I'll come sit with you. That has stuck with me for such a long time because that made my life."

Candace introduces Max as a vital part of this conversation, appreciating his presence and openness.

Exploring Identity Beyond Hockey

Dr. Josh Straub delves into the concept of identity beyond one's profession or activities. He explains that many people, especially children, often tie their self-worth to what they do, what they have, or others' perceptions.

"[02:15] Josh Straub: If we don't know who we are, we tend to find our identity in three places... what's your assignment. That's not who we are."

Max discusses his childhood aspirations, revealing a desire to explore various roles before settling into his passion for hockey. He reflects on how this focus shaped his early identity but acknowledges the complexities it introduced.

"[03:30] Max Bure: I wanted to do everything... my biggest dream was playing in the National Hockey League."

Challenges of Athlete Identity and Transitioning

The conversation shifts to the pressures associated with being an athlete. Max shares his struggles with the harsh culture of hockey, the physical demands, and the emotional toll of balancing sport with personal identity.

"[04:22] Max Bure: It's just a tough world... and yet as a believer to navigate that."

Dr. Straub emphasizes the importance of helping children understand their unique identities as creations of God, distinct from their assignments or careers.

"[06:04] Josh Straub: There's an identity that we're given, I think, by God, that is unique to us to carry out our purpose in this world."

Max reveals his inner conflict as he questions his passion for hockey versus his authentic self, leading to a pivotal moment of self-reflection.

"[07:34] Max Bure: From then out, I was always searching in my identity with Christ... it's always a struggle."

Integrating Faith into Identity

The discussion deepens into the role of faith in shaping one's identity. Max shares his journey from presenting himself as a devout Christian outwardly to grappling with a genuine internal relationship with God.

"[16:03] Max Bure: ...how do you act? What are you looking at? So from then on out, I just was always searching in my identity with Christ."

Christi Straub introduces practical approaches to discovering one's identity through prayer, inspired by Jamie Winship's "Living Fearless." She shares her personal experiences of hearing God's voice and how it has guided her life purpose.

"[26:28] Josh Straub: It's like your father saying these things about you, your heavenly father saying these things about you."

Spreading Joy and Building Relationships

Max discusses his natural inclination to bring joy into others' lives, connecting this trait to his faith. He recounts past experiences where his empathy and kindness made a positive impact on those around him.

"[29:30] Max Bure: I think what's fun to me and exciting... introduce something better for their life."

Dr. Straub and Christi Straub highlight the significance of authentic relationships in embodying one's faith and identity.

"[35:05] Christy Straub: Everything has come back to people. And I think what's so interesting about identity... it's for me to..."

Listener Questions: Navigating Parental Guilt and Communication

The episode transitions to listener questions, addressing common parental concerns:

1. Parental Guilt Over Work and Time Spent with Children

   A listener expresses feelings of failure due to the stress of providing for her children through shift work, despite her sons' faith and church involvement. Christy Straub addresses this by identifying the spirit of shame and encouraging the listener to focus on gratitude and rebuking negative thoughts.

   "[54:01] Christy Straub: I just hear the shame. Like, this is like a spirit of shame almost."

   Candace and Josh emphasize rebuking shame and celebrating the positive aspects of the listener's parenting.

2. Wishing for Better Communication with Parents

   Another listener asks what Max wishes his mother had known about parenting him as a young adult. Max responds with humility, appreciating his parents' efforts while expressing a desire for more attentive listening and quality time.

   "[56:07] Max Bure: I don't know. I never feel like I'm qualified. I don't think I'm qualified to answer..."

   Candace acknowledges and affirms Max's feelings, stating ongoing efforts to improve family communication.

   "[56:45] Candace Cameron Bure: ...we interrupt a lot, we talk over..."

Conclusion: Embracing the Journey of Identity

Candace wraps up the episode by highlighting the continuous journey of discovering one's identity and the importance of supporting children through this process. She encourages parents to utilize resources like the "Healthy Home Guide" and invites listeners to engage with the show's community.

"[59:20] Josh Straub: ...you sit right here, looking for that..."

Max shares his enthusiasm for new experiences and his faith-driven motivation to bring joy and spiritual growth to others.

"[50:02] Max Bure: ...introduce something better for their life, that excites me."

Candace ends with a heartfelt thank you to the guests and listeners, reinforcing the podcast's mission of fostering intentional, faith-driven conversations about life and parenting.

"[60:03] Candace Cameron Bure: If these conversations with Josh and Christy are changing your life, click the like button and give it a thumbs up."

Key Takeaways

• Identity Beyond Professions: Understanding that true identity is rooted in being a child of God, not solely in one's career or roles.
• Authentic Relationships: Building genuine connections based on empathy, joy, and mutual respect enhances personal and spiritual growth.
• Faith Integration: Actively seeking and nurturing a personal relationship with God is crucial in defining one's purpose and navigating life's challenges.
• Parental Support: Providing a supportive environment that listens and validates children's experiences fosters their journey in self-discovery.
• Continuous Growth: Identity is an ongoing journey that evolves with experiences, faith, and self-reflection.

Notable Quotes

• Max Bure [00:00]: "There’s this one of my friends named Charlie, he would come and he would be like, all right, I'll come sit with you. That has stuck with me for such a long time because that made my life."

• Josh Straub [02:15]: "If we don't know who we are, we tend to find our identity in three places... what's your assignment. That's not who we are."

• Candace Cameron Bure [21:11]: "When we come to know Jesus, we now get to partner with him in making all things new."

• Christi Straub [37:08]: "There's something about when the one who created you tells you who you are. It’s like, oh, okay."

• Max Bure [50:02]: "Feeling the presence of God... genuine excitement in the weird times... introduce something better for their life."

This episode of The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast offers profound insights into the journey of helping children discover their identities anchored in faith, the complexities of transitioning from defined roles, and the enduring impact of authentic relationships. Through candid conversations and personal anecdotes, the Straubs and Max provide valuable guidance for parents striving to nurture their children's sense of self and purpose.