Podcast Summary: The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast

Episode: Is Self Love … Selfish?
Guest: Lisa Whittle
Date: September 2, 2025

Episode Overview

Candace Cameron Bure sits down with Bible teacher and author Lisa Whittle to explore a nuanced and often controversial question: Is self-love selfish? Together, they dissect the cultural messaging around self-love and self-care, contrast it with a biblical perspective, and discuss how Christians can genuinely care for themselves without veering into narcissism. The episode also addresses listener questions, challenges common misconceptions, and offers practical spiritual resources for developing a healthy, God-honoring relationship with oneself.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Fashion, Individuality & Confidence

• [03:53–08:10]
  • Candace and Lisa start by chatting about fashion preferences, favorite colors, and the individuality they express through style.
    • Lisa shares her love for bold patterns and how she’s always bucked trends to “wear what I want to wear.”
      • "I do not care what everyone else is wearing … I was always an individual." (Lisa, 04:54)
    • Both reflect on getting their “colors done” and how clothing choices connect to personal identity and self-confidence.
    • The conversation acts as a light-hearted segue into accepting differences, which parallels how people approach self-love.

Revisiting "Your Body Is a Temple"

• [08:13–11:10]
  • Recap of last episode, which explored 1 Corinthians 6:19 and the concept of the body as a "temple."
    • Lisa notes the church's teaching sometimes created shame, focusing more on behavioral rules than understanding God's design for our bodies.
    • "We must behave our way into pleasing God is really what it was about." (Lisa, 09:24)

Secular vs. Biblical Self-Love

• [11:54–14:55]
  • Listener questions initiate a deeper dive:
    • How do we “love ourselves unconditionally” and “treat our bodies with grace and love”?
  • Lisa admits she used to be wary of “self-care,” preferring “soul care” to sound less “narcissistic.” She’s since changed her view, emphasizing that biblical self-care is not selfish.
    • "He wants us to love ourselves. He wants us to care for ourselves. So none of that is wrong in any way." (Lisa, 13:44)
  • Key distinction:
    • Secular self-love: Shallow, temporary, focused on serving self.
    • Christian view: Whole-body theology, rooted in a “glory mindset,” serving God and others through caring for His creation—ourselves.

Candace’s Discomfort with “Self-Love” & Cultural Hijack

• [14:41–16:44]
  • Candace shares her aversion to the term “self-love,” associating it with narcissism and indulgence, but acknowledges the term’s validity for people who genuinely struggle with self-esteem.
  • She expresses frustration with Christian critics who attack the term without understanding its nuances or motives.

The Church’s Responsibility

• [16:44–18:38]
  • Lisa argues it’s the church’s role to steward the conversation well and teach a biblical understanding of self-love and care, rather than villainizing secular culture for “hijacking” those concepts.
    • "We have to be people of the light, people of faith and understand that the responsibility is on us to know the truth … and share the truth." (Lisa, 17:13)

Social Media, Body Freedom & Danger of Surface Solutions

• [19:20–23:52]
  • Discussion turns to “body freedom,” body positivity, and performative self-love on social media (e.g., swimsuit selfies as proof of freedom).
  • Lisa warns these actions may bring temporary “highs,” but don’t lead to lasting or spiritual freedom. True freedom is scriptural, not “likes-based.”
    • "That might be a body goal for you … it's not the ultimate of soul freedom though." (Lisa, 21:52)
    • "When the Son sets you free, you are free indeed." (Lisa, 23:01)
  • Candace notes that social media often amplifies comparison and external validation instead of genuine peace.

Motive Matters: Why Do We Care for Ourselves?

• [31:16–35:34]
  • Lisa outlines the critical difference between secular and Christian self-love: motive.
    • Secular motive: Serve self.
    • Christian motive: Serve God and fulfill “kingdom mindset” (Matthew 28:19, Great Commission).
    • "Care springs from who and what we love... I love God, I am serving God, and so I have to care for myself." (Lisa, 33:55)
  • Candace and Lisa examine their own histories of being “mean” to their bodies, realizing rejecting self-love is incongruent with accepting God’s love.

The Key: Knowing God’s Love Personally

• [35:31–41:29]
  • Lisa unveils a turning point: she couldn’t answer when a friend asked her, “When was the last time you felt loved by God?”
    • She relates this to her struggle with body image, drawing a direct line between accepting God’s love and being able to love herself.
    • "If we don't know, if we can't access the love of God in our life, we won't love ourselves. We won't love our bodies. We can't." (Lisa, 41:02)
  • Candace encourages practical ways to discover God’s love, notably through scripture and prayer.

Listener Questions & Practical Steps

How Can I Love Myself Unconditionally?

• [41:29–43:10, 44:45–50:51]
  • Lisa’s guidance:
    • Start reading the Book of John to know Jesus' heart.
    • Simple, child-like prayers asking God to reveal His love.
    • Test whether self-care practices actually satisfy long-term—if not, turn to God’s word for real transformation.

Candace’s Bible Journey Testimony

• [44:45–50:18]
  • Shares her life-changing experience doing the Bible Recap with Tara-Leigh Cobble, reading through the Bible chronologically and understanding God’s persistent, loving pursuit throughout scripture.
    • "When you stick with it and you read it ... and you see it ... from outer space looking down ... God loves us so much." (Candace, 49:08)
  • Emphasizes that only knowing God’s character through His Word brings lasting self-worth.

Reframing Self-Love

• [50:18–54:56]
  • Lisa stresses that love—above all programs or practices—is what transforms us deeply and permanently.
    • "Love is the only thing that's more powerful … it is the theological underpinning for everything we do in our bodies." (Lisa, 51:36)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Lisa (reflecting on God’s personal love):
  • "God said to me, I love you through that bush. The purple bush right outside your window. I know you love purple. I knew you'd live here someday. That bush was planted there so you'd wake up and see it every morning." (Lisa, 39:59)
• Candace (on reading the Bible):
  • "That Old Testament not only set up the good news of Jesus... but that's where I saw God's heart really for the first time in my life... the pursuit, the great detail that God goes through." (Candace, 48:40)
• Lisa (on the pitfalls of secular self-care):
  • "If you're looking for those things [bubble baths, vacations] for your soul to be free, you’re never going to find it in those days. You’re going to need another massage … and another way." (Lisa, 21:51)
• Lisa (on motives):
  • "We can't get weird about this. This ties into my body being a temple … if you don't understand that in the context...the light bulbs won't go off." (Lisa, 34:00)

Book Recommendations

• Gentle and Lowly by Dane Ortlund

  • Lisa strongly recommends this as a transformative read to understand God’s heart and love.
    • "Every believer should read this book... even if you don’t know Jesus, I think you should read it because it exposes his heart for you." (Lisa, 52:56)

• Lisa’s own “Body and Soul” Bible Study

  • Further resource for whole-body theology (details in show notes).

Timestamps for Important Segments

• [08:13] - Last episode recap and the misapplication of “body as a temple”
• [14:41] - Candace’s aversion to “self-love” and the Christian perspective
• [19:20] - Dangers of body positivity “freedom” on social media
• [31:16] - Motive matters: Self-love to serve self vs. self-love to serve God
• [39:59] - Lisa’s story of God’s personal love through the purple bush
• [41:29] - Steps to discover God’s love and love oneself biblically
• [52:08] - Recommended resources and closing listener question

Tone & Style Highlights

• Honest and vulnerable storytelling about struggles with self-image and faith
• Direct, respectful confrontation of doctrinal and cultural misconceptions
• Warm, encouraging, biblically-rooted guidance

Conclusion

Candace and Lisa offer a refreshing, scriptural perspective on self-love and self-care, encouraging listeners to examine their motives and root their self-worth in God’s unshakable love rather than fleeting cultural trends. The episode is a heartfelt invitation to step off the self-improvement treadmill and find true, lasting acceptance through understanding God’s heart as revealed in Scripture.