← The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
The Way of Freedom with Ruth Chou Simons
00:44:38
The Way of Freedom with Ruth Chou Simons
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- [00:00]
A
If the sun moves this way, that sunflower turns and turns and turns.
- [00:04]
B
You're rocking my world though, because now every time I look at a sunflower, I'm never going to see it the same. So now I'm always going to think about turning towards God the Father, towards.
- [00:14]
A
The Son, the sun.
- [00:17]
B
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- [03:26]
A
How, how are we here already? Oh my goodness.
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B
I feel like I blink and it's Thanksgiving and Christmas.
- [03:33]
A
I know. We might as well be making New Year's resolutions already. It's, it's already there.
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B
I know, it's crazy. Every year that goes by, goes by faster and faster. I think especially as our kids get older because we see them grow.
- [03:46]
A
I know. Is it different now that they're. I mean, I've got adult children too and I'm not totally sure what the holidays look like as everybody comes together or doesn't or have significant others, you know, I know that's like a new thing.
- [04:00]
B
I am so grateful that most of us live close together. Natasha doesn't live near us, but, but the holidays were all together. She'll come up for the holidays and I think for Thanksgiving my parents are going to come spend it with us again. They did last year and that's so nice because they live on the east coast now and we're of course still on the west coast and so we should have a pretty full house. Haha. No pun intended. What about you? What's Thanksgiving look like this year?
- [04:28]
A
Well, my in laws actually moved to our mountain town. They moved from their longtime home in another state and they moved. So they're local now and we're going to have Thanksgiving together, which is so great because in that in their season they don't have all their kids and grandkids all in the same place. So sometimes it's hard. And so we, we're excited to be all together. But you know, this is the first year where we have like an adult child who really is living on his own and is in a significant relationship. And so we've got some sharing happening, you know, sometime and stuff. So not totally sure what it's going to look like.
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B
Yeah, we're so lucky because Lev's wife Elliot, her parents literally live a mile and a half down the road from us.
- [05:13]
A
I love it.
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B
So I can't, it's, it's the best it could possibly be and they're such wonderful people and we love them. So.
- [05:22]
A
Do you have to cook for Thanksgiving?
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B
So I was going to ask you the same thing. Like are, do you cook?
- [05:29]
A
I Love to cook.
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B
You love to cook?
- [05:31]
A
I've always loved to cook, but career wise, I'm just not home enough. And honestly, I raised boys who love to cook. I mean, listen, psa, most my boys like clean toilets. They cook, they make excellent coffee. So I'm literally like, I don't have a job now. They are like so great at making incredible food. But I do enjoy cooking a lot.
- [05:52]
B
Oh, good. Do you have a favorite Thanksgiving dish?
- [05:55]
A
You know, my favorite Thanksgiving dish was a Martha Stewart thing from years ago, but nobody else appreciates it. It's not like a traditional. I realized a long time ago that you don't mess with tradition. This was one of the.
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B
I agree.
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A
Can I just tell you the real quick story? I will not take all this. Yes.
- [06:10]
B
No, tell me.
- [06:11]
A
Early on, when I was a young married woman, I wanted to impress my in laws so badly and I was subscribing to Martha Stewart Living because, I mean, remember, I'm an immigrant gal who didn't grow up with Thanksgiving traditions. I mean, we were like just trying to figure out how to do our lives in the United States. And I remember when I was first married, they came over, we didn't have a full house. And I was like, oh, I'm going to follow Martha's instructions. This particular year she went non traditional. And I was like, let me do it. It's great. We. I think it's called spatchcocking your turkey.
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B
Yes.
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A
But then I had to take like butterfly off the bone in one piece, then turned it into a roll. Okay, could you pick? So imagine how much I'm going off the reservation here. Like I am literally leaving the.
- [06:59]
B
But that's also really difficult.
- [07:01]
A
I was like, oh, let's hand make a homemade turkey sausage. Stuffed the filet of sausage and rolled it up. Now it looks ridiculous. It's so funny. And then the worst was she's like, and make sweet potato fries with like a mint dressing. And I thought I did so great. I also did not make pumpkin pie. I made an apple pear pie. And I present this whole thing as like a 20, I don't know, 24 year old or something. And I was like, look at what I made. And I think I ruined Thanksgiving for everyone because not one pumpkin pie, no sweet potatoes, no mashed potatoes and gravy. I literally had this weird jelly roll of a turkey sausage. So never again.
- [07:45]
B
Now I'm like, that's so funny.
- [07:47]
A
Just stick to the.
- [07:48]
B
Stick to the. I didn't realize that's where you were going with the story. But I'm like, yeah, tradition is tradition. You don't veer off from it. If you do, maybe it's just confessions.
- [07:57]
A
I just have to say, this is like so funny. Martha steered me wrong that year. Big time.
- [08:02]
B
That's so funny. Yeah. We started taking over Thanksgiving because my mom did it for years and years and years and we would have so many people. My mom was fantastic at cooking everything. And so now we make it. But Val is the chef in our family. I'm the sous chef and I'm always. I'm chopping, cutting, helping prep, everything. The green beans are mine though, because Val. Val doesn't even like green beans. But I make them, but they're always fresh. I do not do the casserole because I don't like soggy green beans. So I have a recipe that I got online from.
- [08:41]
A
Do you do almond cinnamon stuff?
- [08:43]
B
I do, and I do sun dried tomatoes in them.
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A
Oh, that sounds amazing.
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B
And so they're just. They're fresh, they're healthier, they're in olive oil, but a little.
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A
Still crunchy. A little bit, yeah.
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B
Yes, still crunchy, but a little onion, a little sun dried tomato, and some almonds on top.
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A
So good. I'm so hungry now.
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B
They're yummy. I really love them. So I feel like that's not as traditional, but still a, you know, a take on it.
- [09:07]
A
But as far as one, it's green beans, so.
- [09:09]
B
Exactly. But as far as like turkey, mashed potatoes, sweet potato, pumpkin pie, you. You just have to have those.
- [09:15]
A
I learned my lesson for sure. That's so cute though.
- [09:19]
B
You gave it your all in your young married life.
- [09:21]
A
Yep. Yep.
- [09:23]
B
Well, I want to talk about your book, the Way of the Wildflower. And again, we've been talking about it. This season are gospel meditations to unburden your anxious soul. And the artwork in here is so beautiful. And just want you to tell me, when you knew you were going to become an artist, were you a kid drawing? And all the time, every. All the adults were like, that's amazing, Ruth.
- [09:47]
A
Yes. I was always like in class taking notes and then basically getting distracted and drawing my left hand because I was taking notes with my right hand. So like, I was always doing stuff like that. I was always doing portraits of my friends at recess, being like, like, look at my party trick. I can draw portraits. But I always thought that this was like just one of those little giftings that you can never do anything with. So I was kind of embarrassed of it, actually. I just didn't think because, listen, it was like be a neurosurgeon or a doctor or a lawyer. Like, you don't become an artist. Like, that's how I thought of it. And I think it was some cultural pressures.
- [10:23]
B
I was going to say. Was that influenced by your parents?
- [10:25]
A
Well, not necessarily my specific parents, but my community.
- [10:30]
B
Okay.
- [10:30]
A
I think living in between two cultures. One where I was going to a major college prep school where everybody was going to Stanford, and I was also growing up in my Asian influenced, you know, Eastern influences that kind of makes, you know, get a. Always get an A, you know, always, always play three instruments or, you know, and really just kind of almost like this is a fun little thing to do, but it's not significant and I didn't feel significant about it. And so it was really, I think we talked about early in the season, but just that it was really a shock to me to realize how much it was helping me slow down and that other people were able to, like, linger in God's word as I presented it with some beauty around it. And the beauty that I chose to portray was the beauty of God's creation. And so I do paint a lot of botanicals, sometimes bugs. I mean, I think there's a snail in this one. You know, I think I just love to. I think it was Georgia o', Keeffe, you know, the famous painter who lived in Towson, painted these really close ups of flowers. She was super popular decades ago, but she, I think she said, you know, we don't stop and study a flower very closely. We're just rushing through life. And I think that's true, that if you stop and really look at what God's done in a flower, you realize, like, oh, my goodness, he is a God of detail. He is. He takes delight in colors and patterns, in order, in patterns. And I think we sometimes go, lord, I God, who are you? You know? But if we study his creation, we start learning things about him. We start seeing ways in which he loves to present the way he. He designed the world. And I even think about the fact that he created us for the experience and the joy of it because he doesn't have to make the sunrise all pink and glowy. Right. But he does. And so, yeah, you know, flowers help me. Help me read.
- [12:27]
B
And what do you love specifically about wildflowers?
- [12:30]
A
Oh, man. Well, you're in California.
- [12:32]
B
I mean, you're. I was going to say you're in Colorado, so.
- [12:34]
A
But California poppies are one of my favorite flowers. And I think it doesn't matter where you Live. There's something. Even if you're on the side of the road and you'll see, like, there are flowers that pop up everywhere.
- [12:44]
B
But why do some. Are some of them weeds and not flowers? Because I don't think so. I look at them and I'm like, that is a flower.
- [12:52]
A
There's so many species. I. When I started researching for this book, I can't. There's, like, billions of flowers, and a lot of them are unnamed, so I'm sure we could call them weeds. And some weeds are.
- [13:01]
B
Do we know that? I don't know. I'm asking, do you know the difference between a weed and a flower?
- [13:07]
A
I literally do not.
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B
Okay.
- [13:09]
A
I think it's eye of the beholder, because even a morning glory to some people are weeds because they spring up everywhere and you can't kill them. But they're really pretty, you know? And so.
- [13:19]
B
But even my tomatoes, no matter what, whether I plant them or not, in that season, the tomato. You can't kill tomatoes. You can't kill mint. I know these aren't flowers, and we're now talking about herbs and vegetables, but some of them just take root, and it doesn't matter if you never tend to it. They just keep coming up.
- [13:38]
A
But all wildflowers spring up? Yeah. Like, it's like nobody went out there and said, we need a pink one and a blue one and a red. I mean, the Lord did. And so I think what's fascinating to me about wildflowers is that they grow up in all kinds of conditions. They can grow up in rocks. They are truly resilient. And I think. Well, let me just describe for you how it feels. If I walk up to any field of flowers or into the mountains, and I. I take the time to slow down, I realize the. They are so intricate. They are so beautiful. There are tiny little ones. Come and visit me sometime. I'm serious. Like, come and visit. I'll take you on a hike to the lake. And there are flowers that grow up to your waist, and that's stunning. There are colors everywhere, but if you stop and look at the little, tiny, microscopic flowers next to rocks, it's just this humbling moment where I realized, like, God is in the details, and he literally orchestrated there to be flowers that really can be so tiny that you skip over them if you're not paying attention. And so I think wildflowers just help me remember that every part of God's creation is unique. We're all different. We're all unique, you know? And wildflowers I think teach us a lot of lessons.
- [14:55]
B
Yeah.
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A
Do you know that sunflowers. Well, you know this probably, that sunflowers turn towards the sun throughout the day. That's why they're called sunflowers.
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B
I did know that, but I forgot, completely forgot that the other day I.
- [15:07]
A
Saw a whole stand of mountain sunflowers. So not your typical, like, you know, giant ones in the farms in Kansas or whatever. There were mountain ones and there were. I think there's different varieties. And these little guys were all facing the sun. And Troy and I looked at each other and we were just like, would we not just like, face the sun, the son of God, like, turn our attention to the Lord, day by day, hour by hour? Because if the sun moves this way, that sunflower turns and turns and turns. And so is that crazy?
- [15:40]
B
You are rocking my world, though, because now every time I look at a sunflower and we buy sunflowers for our table all the time, little small ones, put it in a Mason jar. It's so cute. And I really love a sunflower, but I'm never gonna see it the same. So now I'm always gonna think about turning towards God the Father, towards the Son, the Son, the Son, Jesus all day long.
- [16:00]
A
And what would happen if at 11 o' clock in your day, you were like, where is the Lord? Where is the Lord? And I'm gonna turn towards him. My face will be turned towards him. I'm gonna go where he goes. If that alignment happened throughout the day, just like a sunflower, you know, it's a good reminder, right?
- [16:16]
B
It's such a good reminder. Okay. Do you have any other fun flower analogies?
- [16:24]
A
There's so many like that. But, I mean, I. Another one of my favorites is Queen Anne's Lace. And the funny thing is it's in the carrot family. So it's like. It's the one that has all the tiny little flowers. I think it might be on the COVID too. There's a little, tiny little flowers that compose the whole head, but they're. They have a red center at the very middle. And stories like to say that it's. It's like the blood of Christ. Like, it's in the middle of all these tiny little. And so there's flowers just have little moments of symbolism. Not that they were created to tell the gospel story necessarily in their own way, but they're reminders to me every time I see how some grow up. Because I even read something, Candace, about how there are some that know to, like, hold on and let their Roots get really deep until the right kind of rain comes before they ever pop out. Like, there's just all sorts of rhythms that isn't about, like, hey, I planted it in the ground, and you will rise and spring up at this time. No, it's like, all in God's rhythm and God's timing. And so I can go into the mountains in early June and see the early ones. And then in late July, there's a whole other set coming up, and it's. They're on God's time.
- [17:44]
B
It's so beautiful that you live in a place where you get to really.
- [17:47]
A
Come and visit, see those.
- [17:49]
B
See them every day and see them throughout the different seasons. And that's really special.
- [17:56]
A
Do you. Have you ever come upon, like, wildflowers? I don't mean it has to even be like, Colorado wildflowers, but have you ever come upon just, like, flowers. Flowers and. And even considered, like, how did it grow up here? Like, how did it spring up?
- [18:10]
B
Yeah, I mean, we have them on our property, and I just posted a picture of one not long ago because I was going on a walk, but down my driveway, there were all of these beautiful kind of purpley blue tall flowers that were probably two feet high. I don't know what they were.
- [18:27]
A
I think they might be larkspur. Are they, like, blue, pointy, like several little ones that come up on a stock, or.
- [18:34]
B
No, I'm going to show you a picture, but I think. Yes, I think yes.
- [18:37]
A
Okay. So I'm going to put you on the spot and ask you. So when you see them, any flowers, like. Or those flowers on your property, what do you notice about them? Like, tell me some words. Like, I just.
- [18:49]
B
The color stands out to me right away. Because I think, though, I mean, any flower when the color is so vivid or it's a color that. I don't know. Color is everywhere. But there's something that's extra special about color in flowers.
- [19:11]
A
Yeah. And they're unique and.
- [19:13]
B
Yes, and they are unique. They can just be vivid. I also think with greens, it becomes so vivid, and then I wonder what the colors are going to be like in heaven. That's what I always think about when I see flowers. But you're right, they are. They're very unique. There's so many varieties, and I have no idea what the majority of them are. I kind of know what some of them, what their names are because of the farmers market, but that's. That's about it.
- [19:39]
A
Okay, so this is a leading question, but I think I'm going to direct it. But do you feel like they ever try real hard? Do they look like they're really trying? You know, like, this is what's fascinating to me about flowers. They're, they're like just, they're just free. They're just there. They last as long as God has them in their vibrancy. And then sometimes when they wither, they're beautiful as well. And I'm just fascinated, honestly about the things that we can learn about trusting God when we study God's creation. And that's one of the things that I'm like. I spend so much energy time thinking about how I present, whether or not I'm who I want to be, am I living my best life? All the silly things, silly things that sometimes go through your mind and go like, am I missing my purpose? Am I, am I loved for who I really am? Am I understood? And I, I'm not trying to over personify flowers, but I want to come on to the side of the road and I see these wildflowers just spring up. They are so free. They really are just, they bloom where they're planted. They're really where God has them and so, so beautiful. And I, I mean I, I'm not joking when I say please come and visit, but I think I want to, I want to describe that for our listeners because I think sometime. So head down, all of us have our laptops open, our social. We're trying to not be on social media. And then we're like working and we're answering messages. We're always behind in our inbox and we don't look up very often. And I'm not saying everybody needs to live among wildflowers, but I'm saying you drive down your road and you probably will see something of God's creation just spring up, just, just blooming in the crack in the sidewalk or along the road. And I think paying attention and noticing those things might give you a moment. And noticing the sunflower turning to the sun might even help you recognize like God actually put a lot of things in our world as displays of how he takes care of us, how we can live freely where he's planted us, rather than trying to manipulate our circumstances.
- [21:42]
B
Manipulating control. Yeah, so it's true. Those wildflowers, there is a freedom about them that they have. I never thought about that. Grand Canyon University, an affordable private Christian university based in beautiful Phoenix, Arizona, is one of the largest universities in the country. Praised for its culture of community and impact, GCU integrates the free market system, a welcoming Christian worldview, and free and open discourse into 369 academic programs with over 300 online join a nationwide community of learners redefining what online education looks like through academically rigorous, industry driven programs that can spark bold ideas and prepare you for a future that matters. In addition to federal grants and aid, GCU's online students received nearly $161 million in institutional scholarships in 2024. Find your purpose at Grand Canyon University Private Christian affordable. Visit gcu.edu myoffer to see the scholarships you may qualify for. Something I love to do is point people to the Scriptures and encourage them to read the Bible. People often ask me about my personalized Bibles, which are out of print for now, but here's one I really recommend the NIV Application Bible New from Zondervan this Bible is so helpful because it doesn't just explain what the text is says, it shows you how it applies to your life today. It features thousands of study notes from the best selling NIV Application Commentary series. You'll also find original meaning notes that unpack the context of each passage, and application notes that help you live out God's Word in your daily experiences. There are also questions for growth, introductions for every book, character profiles, and even articles about who God is, all in a beautiful full color design. If you want to dig deeper into Scripture, check it out@nivapplication bible.com that's nivapplicationbible.com There's a lot going on in the world right now, and sometimes it feels overwhelming. But the Bible reminds us there's a steady foundation beneath it all, a source of hope that can't be shaken. The promises of scripture were first made to the people of Israel. Right now, there are thousands of people who share these foundations of our faith who need our help. Many in Israel and Eastern Europe face everyday challenges like getting food, medicine and having their basic needs met. That's why I'm sharing with you about the International Fellowship of Christians and Jews. They've been providing real help and Hope for over 40 years. If you want to learn more or get involved, visit ifcj.org that's ifcj.org.
- [24:53]
A
So I actually tackle a couple of characteristics. Freedom is one of them. Resilience is another one, you know, and dependency we've already talked about and belovedness. And that's not exhaustive. It's not in the Bible. It's not like, wow, wildflowers are these things. But remember we talked about Jesus pointing attention to the flowers of the field, the wildflowers. Jesus says, consider how the wildflowers grow. They don't toil and spin. And he's drawing attention to the fact that those beautiful flowers right there aren't, like, scrambling, going, how can I look better than her? How can. How could I have her life? I. Why am I not as pretty as the blue one over there?
- [25:31]
B
Not even worrying about where they're going to get the rain or the water or their food.
- [25:36]
A
There's a freedom. And so not to be too cheesy, but when I walk and go on a walk and I see wildflowers, I actually sit there and think about, how do. How do I. How do I experience a little of the freedom that they have? Like, what is it to be like this? And I think in a lot of ways, it's like they're in the moment. They are exactly where God has them. They're not constantly looking backwards. They're not constantly fretting about the future. And so I spend a lot of energy True confessions. I spend a lot of energy replaying things that I regret, and I spend a lot of energy playing out things that I don't want to go wrong. And I'm just confessing that because I think sometimes we might think that people who are real busy have a good plan in their lives. And I know that I'm not honoring the Lord because I am burdened and stressed out. And remember, we're reminding Candace that you might actually struggle with this sometimes. I know.
- [26:35]
B
I was just gonna ask him, like, are you a person often lives in the past, you're. Or you're able to be very present today or your future thinking, yeah, I.
- [26:46]
A
Was about to ask you the same thing, but here's the thing, and I'll go first. But I think I live really in the present. But sometimes shame will haunt me. Sometimes regret will haunt me. Sometimes there will be a moment where I let the enemy's voice say, if you hadn't done that, this wouldn't have happened. And then it feels like I'm back in the hero seat, the control seat. Like, it's all up to me. I got to not make one wrong turn, or else I'm going to mess everything up. And that's the beginning of festering anxiety. That's the beginning of fear and worry and that spinning. And so do you have things that you wish that you could do over?
- [27:27]
B
Sometimes we don't recognize it at that moment, and it's maturity and wisdom, but there are a few things that. That haunt me still. Today. And I think about them and I think about God's forgiveness and I think I've asked for forgiveness way too many times in the sense that God forgives me.
- [27:49]
A
Yeah.
- [27:50]
B
God paid the fine for me. God's not holding judgment against me. Once I've confessed and asked him for forgiveness, like the scripture says, he even.
- [28:02]
A
Throws it into the sea of forgetfulness. Like he, yes, he forgets it.
- [28:05]
B
He forgets it. And yet there, there are things in my life where I don't live that out.
- [28:10]
A
Yeah.
- [28:11]
B
And they do. They, they pop into my mind and that might be the enemy taunting me, but I've, I recognize those few places in my life and I've asked God to help me move past them because I think a lot of what it comes down to is that I actually don't forgive myself for that.
- [28:31]
A
Exactly.
- [28:32]
B
And that's why feeling like I, well, there must be something else I can do. I must be able to fix that or make amends with that or something. And the reality is I can't and I don't get a do over and I need to move forward and God does forgive me and I have to remind myself of that constantly and go, I don't need to confess this a thousand times over. He's already forgiven me. His blood has forgiven me.
- [28:59]
A
And I think a lot of us, when we wrestle with anxious thoughts or the thing that we're most afraid of comes rising up and we're like debilitated in our thoughts. I think a lot of times it's because it's triggered by things in the past that we haven't forgiven ourselves about. Or we go, wow, I really lost a friend that one time that I messed up here. And so now I'm really anxious. Will she misunderstand? And we're replaying that conversation we had over and over again. So it is helpful to retrace and go, hey, when I'm anxious, what is the root thought that I'm having here? What is the root thing? Is it a lack of forgiving myself for the ways in which I'm not perfect and that I've messed up? And am I able to remember that when we are in Christ, we are told that when we have received the forgiveness of Jesus, when we actually understand, as you so beautifully shared in our last episode, that God changes everything because if we receive the forgiveness of Christ, we are made a new creation like. And it makes me think of the apostle Paul. Candace. I think about how talk about somebody who could replay over and over again how many times he Hurt believers, how many times he persecuted. I mean, he. I mean, he was there at the stalling of Stephen, right? Like, he was absolutely a persecutor, absolutely spiritual, proud, lived on his own merits, right? And so as he's telling others about Jesus, he could live in that shame. He could keep going back and go, like, I'm not qualified. I. I look at all the stuff that I wish I could do different. And it's Paul that said in Philippians 3, 13, and 14, forgetting what is behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead. I mean, when I read him saying that, I. I realized, this is a man who says, I'm going to forget all the stuff that I wish I could do over. And instead of living in the past and constantly, like, you know, blaming myself and feeling like, why didn't I get, he's like, I've been saved. God has made me aware of how much I need him, and I need him to change my life. I'm not going to dwell on the past. I'm going to steward what lies ahead. And so I really turn to that a lot when I think about how to not get caught up in fretting about the past. Because, I mean, like you said, I have plenty of things that I wish I could do over as well, and plenty of things that if I had known better, I would have done better. But praise God that we get to steward today, you know, and I think that's a real antidote to worry and anxiety, is to say, instead of worrying about things, why don't I just steward this right now? What do I, instead of what I wish I had, what do I have as resources, as wisdom, as next steps, and do what I can with what I have today.
- [31:50]
B
You know, what about forgiveness? When it comes to things that are completely out of your control, that is.
- [31:58]
A
Such a hard one. Well, immediately, a couple of situations come to mind in my life where, you know, I think forgiveness, when others have either wronged you or hurt you or did something that you had nothing to do with that turned into something that affected your whole life. We can all think of stories like that. I think we have to start with how Jesus forgave us. There's no way if I'm going to compare, I'm going to constantly be like, well, I'm better than so and so. And it'll be hard to forgive anybody because I'll be like, well, I didn't do that. I didn't have anything to do with that. And so it's like you have to start with reminding Yourself, that even the thought that I had two minutes ago didn't put God first. So God forgave even that. Like, we have to start with, like, I don't have to be a murderer. I can just not love God with all my heart, mind, soul and strength. And that's already less than everything. But God made it possible through Christ for me to come fully as his child and say, I don't even love you or trust you with everything I've got. I constantly try to depend on myself. I constantly try to make it about myself. But you're changing me. You're transforming because of Jesus. I don't have to save myself. I have a savior. I can hide myself in him. And when I receive that forgiveness and I go, yeah, I needed a savior, then I can look at how I've been wronged, or when my life is affected by somebody else's choices, or when I'm regretting somebody else's choices, I can start and go, okay, I can forgive that person whether they asked for it or not. I can forgive that other person because God's forgiven me so much. And I think it's interesting how this whole season we've been talking about how battling anxious thoughts and worry and fear really starts with what you think and how you process who God is and who you are. And this is one of those examples. You can spend a lot of energy fretting about and being anxious and frustrated. Or you can say, I'm going to start with how much God's forgiven me. And I have a lot more capacity to forgive if I do that.
- [34:15]
B
Everything you said I resonate with and I. And I trust in that because there's so many things that are out of our control and they can hurt. But I also know that God is a God of justice.
- [34:27]
A
Yeah.
- [34:27]
B
And so I can be reminded and look to him to say that maybe on this side of earth, justice may not feel like it's served in my benefit because I was wrong, but it will be reconciled one day. It will be.
- [34:41]
A
How's. What's the longest amount of time you've had to. I'm. This is maybe a point of question because I'm about to tell you my story, but have you had to wait a long time for things to resolve and it's felt like it never would and has. Have you experienced that resolution this side of heaven?
- [34:57]
B
I'd love to hear your story. I don't have a specific story, but I'm very much. I need resolve and closure immediately. I do not like letting things oh my goodness. Just hang out there or be swept under the rug.
- [35:11]
A
I'm like, get it all on the table. I so like that we had built up a ministry and a calling. Like we had a. We had a ministry that we loved and spent a good decade of our lives with. And it came to a point where there was hurt and there was a division and we had to walk away. And we felt incredibly misunderstood. We felt incredibly affected by other people's actions. And when I say we, I mean Troy and me as a family. And I thought, oh my goodness, this is the end. And I'll just say, I think this is. I can vulnerably share, but this is the honest truth. Grace Lace didn't start until things fell apart for my husband. And so it was a ministry and it was a work that he had given his life to and thought we were going to be a part of forever. And I remember watching a 40 year old man grieve, grieve deeply that he had lost friends and lost something he cared about deeply lost this life's work. And it was in the middle of that that I was like, okay, well, we need income. And I'm, you know, I have these giftings and so full circle. That's kind of where Grace Lace really took off, was me stepping in with that. But what I want to share about that is that when you can't control somebody else's response and you can't. I love that you and I both have that in common. Like, I'd like to just sit down and have a big meeting and have it, the whole thing taken care of. Yeah. And sometimes it doesn't work that way. And I remember it was literally years later, I think it was at least five, six years later before the conversation started coming in. The. I'm so sorry that that happened. We misunderstood that situation. I wish I hadn't said that. Those. I didn't know if I'd ever hear those words. And it was a long time of waiting. And I remember, I remember writing one day just journaling that you learn a lot about somebody by how they process these kinds of major losses. And at the time, you know, Troy went fishing, he prayed a lot, he cried a lot. It was working through a lot of things that were really difficult. But I battled a lot of anxiety during that season because I wanted to make everything better. I wanted to fix everything. I wanted everybody to be friends again. And I think just like we've been saying throughout the season, the Lord saw fit for me to live in that tension for A while where I didn't have anything but the Lord. Like, I really, I couldn't fix my husband, couldn't make his dreams come true and give him back his career. I couldn't make everything better. I could only say, lord, I don't know why this story is part of our lives and I can't even control it because all these other people are involved and I can't change their minds about things, but in time, and I only share that to say, I think part of the lesson we get to live and learn is that we can grieve well, we can deal with disappointment well by turning to him, even when we don't have the answers in that season, you know?
- [38:21]
B
Yep. For sure. Of course, as you're talking, I was like, oh, I have a story, I have a story, I have a story. We don't have to go through the details. It doesn't matter. But it's just a great point that it is such a. It's such a learning lesson. And I also think that during those moments is a person who wants the resolve right away and has to live in the tension of that. It grows us. It grows us not just in our. Within our patience and within humility, but really our dependency on God as well.
- [38:53]
A
I'm remembering the conversation you and I had when you came on my podcast. And I remember you were in the middle of. You didn't share a ton of those details, but you were in the middle of just having to live with maybe not being fully understood, maybe not being able to tell your side of everything all the time. And you beautifully expressed because we were talking about the character of God. And I remember thinking, this is Candace walking through something where, you know, she. It might be easier just to hold up the mic and be like, let me tell you how I feel about everything. But instead you say, lord, you're gonna work this out. You're not wasting a thing. And I can trust you even with my own sadness over things that are hard to live in the tension of, you know. So I remember that season for you too. Well.
- [39:45]
B
Thanks. Okay, let's go to a listener question. This is from Swags. That's a cool name. My 12 year old son has been fighting cancer since he was seven years old. He beat it once, but this time it's winning. Why does God allow this to happen instead of just getting rid of the cancer? This is the question so many of us ask. Why does God allow bad things to happen?
- [40:12]
A
It is so hard to answer a question like, first of all, it's not even like, I don't even want to answer that question before we just put our arms around this listener and say, how could you not feel that way, right? It's like, it's so painful. This. There's so much pain on this earth. And, you know, I think we can't even answer and begin to talk about this problem of pain without starting with the brokenness of this world and that sin has affected everything. There's disease and pain and suffering and betrayal and hurt, all because of sin. So that's the beginning, right? But that Christ came to overcome death, to overcome the penalty of sin, to overcome the separation that would be ours through death. And so we can ultimately say, I have some questions for the Lord when I meet him face to face. But right now I have to at least believe that God has purpose in the pain. Not. Not that I have to experience it right now. Not that I have to know all of it right now. But the beginning is to at least lean in and say, Lord. Like to confess that and say, lord, I don't understand why you wouldn't just take this away. And I think her questions are really valid when you're hurting and you want to like, no, this is so easy, Lord. You could just take it away. But, you know, I would say to our listener friend, be on the lookout for God putting his kindness on display in ways you don't expect. Be on the lookout for how he will restore things that come in a different direction than you expect. And ultimately maybe even be on the lookout for how the story you would never write for yourself ends up being the story he uses to bring joy, to bring freedom, to actually point others to Christ. And because it's not the end of the story when we love Jesus, it's not the end of the story. Be on the lookout for how God will make things new, whether in this life or the next.
- [42:27]
B
Right. Thank you. That was beautiful. And as we're in this holiday season, I think about that's what Christmas is all about. It's all about the hope in Jesus that we were given this, this gift of a Savior and we place our hope and our trust in Him. Well, life really is like a roller coaster. And this Christmas season, our inc invitation is to slow down. And we have a free Advent guide for you from Ruth's 25 Day Advent devotional Emmanuel. Go to Candice.com for the link. And I also have a new app where you can become a monthly member. You can ask more questions, join a podcast discussion group. It's called the together community and you can download the app and learn how to join@candace.com for until next time. Be grateful all day, every day. Candy Rock Entertainment all rights reserved. This episode is brought to you by ebay. Before all the algorithm fed blah and the endless sea of dupes, shopping used to feel more fun. Find that feeling again on ebay. It's not mindless scrolling, it's a fashion pursuit. And when you score that rare Adidas Collab or the Dior saddlebag you've been manifesting, it's a rush. Ebay has millions of pre loved finds from hundreds of brands backed by authenticity Guarantee. Ebay Things People Love.
- [44:04]
A
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