← The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
The Way of the Belovedness with Ruth Chou Simons
00:45:24
The Way of the Belovedness with Ruth Chou Simons
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- [00:00]
Candace Cameron Bure
I'm going to add, and this might be really cheesy if you can imagine the father you would always want to have. And I will go as far to say if you watch old television, 80s and 90s sitcoms, you might see some families on there that you wish you would have been a part of that were great dads. And I will say that Full House was one of them. Danny Tanner was a great dad. There's a lot going on in the world right now and sometimes it feels overwhelming. But the Bible reminds us there's a steady foundation beneath it all, a source of hope that can't be shaken. The promises of scripture were first made to the people of Israel. Right now, there are thousands of people who share these foundations of our faith who need our help. Many in Israel and Eastern Europe face everyday challenges like getting food, medicine and having their basic needs met. That's why I'm sharing with you about the international fellowship of Christians and Jews. They've been providing real help and Hope for over 40 years. If you want to learn more or get involved, visit ifcj.org that's ifcj.org.
- [01:17]
Candace Cameron Bure (Ad segment)
I want to tell you about a truly beautiful new film from Angel Studios. It's called David. This animated musical brings to life the story of a shepherd boy who becomes a king. The animation is breathtaking, the music is really powerful, and the story is filled with courage, faith, forgiveness, and finding your purpose. It's a film that inspires both children and adults. Truly faith for the whole family. You can begin the journey right now with Young David, the prequel series streaming exclusively on Angel. Then go see David on the big screen when it comes to theaters December 19th. You don't want to miss this powerful story. Visit Angel.com to watch young David today. Then get your tickets for David in theaters this Christmas. That's Angel.com CandaceB.
- [02:09]
Candace Cameron Bure
Life is like a rollercoaster, but it's so much better when we go through it together. Welcome back to the Candace Cameron Bure podcast. On this show, we deep dive into the conversations you care about. And this season is with my friend, artist and bestselling author Ruth Jo Simons, learning how to find freedom from anxiety. Come join us.
- [02:40]
Ruth Jo Simons
Hi.
- [02:41]
Candace Cameron Bure
It's our last episode.
- [02:43]
Ruth Jo Simons
I can't believe I believe it. It's been so fun.
- [02:45]
Candace Cameron Bure
It really has. Thank you for joining me this whole season. Thank you so much for having me.
- [02:48]
Ruth Jo Simons
This is so good.
- [02:49]
Candace Cameron Bure
It's been so beautiful and I'm so glad that we've been able to have these conversations about Anx because As I mentioned on our first episode, it's a question I get asked about so much, and I think that I've learned that I probably think about or I worry and do have more anxious thoughts than I realize because I said I'm not a big worrier, and I don't feel like I sit on it for very long, but I do spin those types of thoughts. And so this has been a great season, not just for me, to discover the truths of God's word and all the things that you've shared with us and taught us, but it's been so.
- [03:32]
Ruth Jo Simons
Encouraging to me, too. Thank you for this conversation. It's been so good.
- [03:36]
Candace Cameron Bure
I'm glad. And you have a book on Advent called Emmanuel. And I. I'm going to say what Advent means because I actually didn't grow up celebrating Advent or Lent. I kind of learned those because I do think that those are denominational. And Advent is the anticipation of Christ when we celebrate his birth. And it means the arrival. The arrival.
- [04:03]
Ruth Jo Simons
We are waiting with anticipation for the arrival of our Savior. And I think, you know, that's probably where, you know, we get that excitement of, like, opening something every day. But we don't want to confuse that with actually preparing our hearts in this season. Whether you're somebody who unwraps something every day with your family or not, those are fun little traditions.
- [04:23]
Candace Cameron Bure
It's called Amazon unboxing.
- [04:26]
Ruth Jo Simons
Every day, every day. There's a little package. But I think, you know, we can best steward this season. And what I hope Emanuel does is it's just a devotional that we can do as a family or individuals, where every day you think a little bit about what we're actually anticipating, how we're going to prepare our hearts to. We prepare homes, we prepare gifts, we decorate and get ready for all the parties. But sometimes our hearts are not prepared. And so I hope this season is one where we can prepare our hearts. It's not too late, not even now, as we're listening to this episode, it's not too late to prepare your heart for the arrival and the celebration of Immanuel.
- [05:06]
Candace Cameron Bure
So this week, we are talking about being loved by God. And what does that look like for you?
- [05:14]
Ruth Jo Simons
Have.
- [05:15]
Candace Cameron Bure
Have you always felt that? Have you always felt God's love? Have you always felt that he loves you? Or have you had any. Any times in your life where that has been a struggle for you?
- [05:29]
Ruth Jo Simons
You know, it's so poignant that you're asking it that way, because I don't know if anyone's really Asked it of me that way. But when you say that, I go, oh, I. I never even thought about when I was little. I didn't. When I first understood that there was a God of the universe, I imagine I immediately thought of God in earthly father terms or earthly, you know, authority terms. Like, I felt like it was transactional. I didn't think of God as love initially. Initially. Later on, praise God, I really did come to understand God's love for me. But you know, Candace, for so many years, and I think back to our episode where you said I was like a Christian, but I didn't totally understand the gospel fully to the extent that it came to be so precious to me, I would say the same thing. I knew I needed a savior. I knew I understood that God has a relationship with me. But in my mind, I couldn't have called him Abba Father. I couldn't have cried out to him and said, hey, I'm. I'm your darling daughter. Like, I couldn't have thought of that because in my mind I thought, well, here's a father who is going to be pleased if I get the dishes done. A father who will talk to me when I do the right thing. And if I don't do the right thing, I might get kind of the silent treatment. And I'll be honest, my dad wasn't a believer when I was younger, and he did the best he knew how then. I love him, he's a good father. But at the time, I think he just didn't have a better example. And so my example of having a loving father wasn't unconditional in that sense. I didn't feel loved, I didn't feel lovely. I didn't think that it was about being special in his eyes. I thought, well, this is about what I do. And then you throw in there some basic understanding of living the Christian life. And I honestly was like, I'm loved if I do these things. I'm more lovely if I look this way. So it's really tempting to start looking apart rather than having it overflow out of a real life in Christ. And so my honest answer to that is I spent some early years of my attempt to walk with Jesus thinking that God loves me based on how amazing I could be. So I sometimes say I was trying to be so amazing that I wouldn't need amazing grace. Like, I wouldn't have to. Amazing grace wouldn't have to be so amazing because I'm going to be amazing enough that I won't need grace. Yeah, that really was how I was operating. I was like, oh, I, I'm good, I don't need grace, because I actually figured it out and did a good job here. And so later on, if I started, you know, our episode about having regrets, wanting some do overs, There were some seasons in my life that I knew I was failing the Lord. Whether it was not honoring him or making compromises or really just ignoring him or being angry or whatever it was. There was a season when I was like, he doesn't love me because I'm not perfect, I'm not holy. I'm not doing what I'm supposed to. In fact, that thing I said I wasn't going to do, I'm doing it again. And I was like, oh, well, he must not love me. And so I stayed away. And so this idea of being loved by God and being beloved, being like really special and actually like all the words that Scripture uses to, to show us, well, Psalm 139, designed on purpose, known from the start, absolutely every detail, seen and known and, and cared for, like there's nothing that was on accident about us. I really couldn't understand that because I felt like I had to earn everything. And so yeah, love and earning, those two things can't go together if you start thinking that it's a transactional relationship. So, yeah, I just share that because I do have a little bit of a history with not understanding God's love. And so that's translated to having to develop over time and understanding that God loves me because one, he made me on purpose, made all of us on purpose for a purpose. But also that in Christ we're actually given a new identity. We're actually brought into being made new and made whole, which sometimes affects everything on the outside and sometimes it's mostly on the inside. Whether it's, you know, you immediately see external change or not. The reality is the change is from the inside out. And so my journey with loving who God made me to be and being loved by him has been a little complicated. I mean, how's that played out?
- [10:23]
Candace Cameron Bure
So I very much relate to that because a lot of it seems transactional. You, you do something great, you get a reward, you get a cookie, you get an out to dinner night. I'm thinking of all the things when I was a kid and being an actor, also a kid actor, you just want to do a good job and please everyone. And maybe it's words of affirmation, great job, good job, you know, you're going to get hired back, whatever. So I very much Relate to those things as transactional. It took me a while also to. To truly feel. I wouldn't say. And I didn't feel loved by God. I feel like I've always felt love from him, but not that unconditional love and a really deep love. Like, I'm actually special in his eyes. He knows everything about me. He cares for me in ways that are even beyond my mom and dad, the way that they care for me. And I know my mom and dad love me so much. So I get that. I think it also probably takes time and maturity to really get there, to feel that deep sense of love. Because we. We all have experiences. I don't. It doesn't matter who you are, where you've lived, what age you are. I think every person has felt unloved at some point or wronged by someone that feels so unloving at one point or another in their life.
- [11:57]
Ruth Jo Simons
And what we're being fed is what's measurable about love. Right. So I would say some of my youngest memories is having been, you know, this outsider, this girl that didn't look like everybody else, and being called a lot of names and being told I had, you know, both on my. Both on my Asian hair, like, side culture as well as the western side. On my Western side, the little kids were ruthless in the lunchroom. I mean, I was told everything from, you know, my. My lunch smells to my face is flat or my eyes are squinty. Like, I've definitely had all those things.
- [12:35]
Candace Cameron Bure
Yeah.
- [12:35]
Ruth Jo Simons
But honestly, in some of my Asian upbringing, there was a candidness that feels really awkward to me sometimes. A candidness about your weight, a candidness about your skin and what you look like and you don't, you know, like.
- [12:51]
Candace Cameron Bure
My best friend is Sri Lankan and her whole family Sri Lankan. So I get it because I. She's been my best friend since 15. But all the aunties, I'm like, I can't believe that. I can't believe they say those things to your face.
- [13:06]
Ruth Jo Simons
And so when I combine those two things, I end up being somebody who measures, like, whether I'm loved or accepted based on measurables. Like, whether people are speaking kindly or whether there's. There's something valuable about me. And I think what's interesting is that, you know, as Christ followers, we don't subscribe to this idea of, like, it's all about self love. If you asked me, I wouldn't be like, yeah, it's all about loving myself. But as Christ followers, we actually should be the Ones who love ourselves in a way that is supernatural because we subscribe to what God says about us. So I think it's fascinating that no, we're not doing a worldly version of self love. Like, it's not me going, but you know what, I'm, I'm pretty, I'm smart, I'm, you know, it's not like I'm just gonna say a bunch of self affirmations, so then I know I'm lovely. Nor is it that I'm gonna bring the best lunch, I'm gonna wear the best clothes. Believe me, I tried that. I mean, we grew up in the same era. It was Jordache jeans, it was guests, it was having a Liz Claiborne bucket purse. Like, I tried all the things, right, to be like cool and lovely and, and accepted self love. When we talk about self love, as in just like trying to get ourselves to the place, place where we say, I'm number one, that's not, that's not biblical. That's not like God word. But when we say, what does God say about you? What does he think? What does he think about you? Have you opened your Bible to read what it is that God believes about designing you, about your life purpose, about his care and love for you, that he sees every hair that's on your head, he knows everything about you. When we think of it that way, then you start realizing like, if you're a Christ follower, you're in obedience to align your thoughts with the thoughts of God. And that means if he loves you that much, then you shouldn't find a lot of reasons to hate yourself and to. You shouldn't find any reason to self loathe or to nitpick your body. And it's easier said than done. It's really easy.
- [15:11]
Candace Cameron Bure
It is. I mean, the whole season before you, Lisa Whittle was my co host and we talked about body and soul and we went really in depth on this conversation and we shared very emotionally and vulnerably and, and truly, it's been one of the most resonating seasons we've ever had with our listeners because so many of you relate and we've had an abundance of questions that have come in on that season. And so have you had times in your life where you really feel like you, you don't like yourself? You don't, you're not, you're not a lovable person or God couldn't love you. Everything comes and struggle. Do you, do you struggle today with those thoughts and feelings?
- [16:03]
Ruth Jo Simons
Yeah, I'm So glad you asked, because I think it's. We're not doing anybody any favors and we pretend we don't struggle with those things, right? And so I hope the vulnerability and the authenticity here is going to help somebody listening. Because when I. We don't have to have the same life stories. You may not have grown up cross culturally or whatever, but for me, it was everything from actually hating the way my face looked and actually, like, somehow fantasizing about plastic surgery when I was like 10, like, fantasizing about it. I feel sad for that little girl. I feel sad for the little girl that thought that if I could just change my nose, a boy will like me or somebody will like me because my nose didn't look like any of the girls that I was in school with. I was the only one that looked the way I did. But it also went as far as feeling like I'm not funny enough or I'm not this enough. So whether it's looks or personality, we all have versions of like, if only I was different, if only I was this other way, then I'll have the love that I really want. And the crazy thing is, I think I just realized I will always chase after finding love somewhere else unless I go and realize that I'm meant to be loved by Jesus. If I'm meant to be loved by Jesus, he can't fail me. But if I'm going to find it in men or food or clothes or, you know, status or anything like that, those things will fail us. And so I thought I was really kind of good. Like, didn't go change my nose. Didn't, like, got to the place where I was like, I kind of like being different and unique. And don't get me wrong, there are still times when I'm a little, like, side note. Do you know that in the 90s or so, I couldn't find one makeup tutorial or book that helped me do makeup on my face. Like, I literally, like, every time I pick something up, there was no color match. Like, I got married in 98 and I could not find a makeup counter that could match my tone. Is that wild? It's. We've come so far and now, yeah, we have K Pop Beauty, you know, like K Beauty or whatever, you know, so it's. It's just interesting how far it's come. But I digress. But interestingly, I feel like I am relearning some of these lessons now. Perimenopause has really taken me on a ride of feeling like we just talked All. Did you? Okay, I'm gonna go. Listen.
- [18:28]
Candace Cameron Bure
Yeah, you have to go back. There's an entire episode on perimenopause and another one on post menopause.
- [18:37]
Ruth Jo Simons
Because my body and the things that used to work that made me feel a certain way, like, it's all out the window. Like, I feel like, wow, gosh, I eat one thing and suddenly, where did this extra, you know, that come from? And why do I feel so weird in my own skin? I don't recognize the way my hair texture is. There's a lot of that. And so it's kind of brought it full circle for me to say, okay.
- [19:01]
Candace Cameron Bure
Does it make you feel unloved by God?
- [19:03]
Ruth Jo Simons
No, it's not that I feel unlovely.
- [19:06]
Candace Cameron Bure
Okay.
- [19:06]
Ruth Jo Simons
But that just reminds me that I. I have it. I do have it settled, that God loves me, but I have to keep realigning, like we've talked about all season. I have to realign my thoughts with God's thoughts. Because otherwise I go down the road of I'm not lovely. I don't feel lovely. I feel this, I feel that. And the feelings take me for a ride, right? Then I listen to my feelings.
- [19:28]
Candace Cameron Bure
Well, I'm gonna put you on the spot because we were talking over lunch and you said that you weren't as comfortable on camera. And I thought, why? Why aren't you comfortable on camera? And I mean, you. You can answer that. But I'm like, ruth, you are telling us you're talking about all of these things, and I'm like, you need to renew your mind and let me remind you how you know.
- [19:57]
Ruth Jo Simons
So my two biggest, Like, I. I can write books all day long. They're edited. I can. There's a lot of things I can do and think about a book. A book shows up, and it's pretty well done. There's no typos. Somebody's edited it. It's perfect. Yeah, but showing up on camera and showing up on stage is really hard for me. And I've admitted this elsewhere, but it's a really good thing to bring full circle here because I am working through applying what I'm actually saying here, because the reality is we all have that area in our lives where we, like, think, will I be loved if I'm not great at this or if I struggle at this, or if I feel foolish or I look foolish, or if I have some just, like a messed up version of looking at myself in the video and going, ooh, like, that is a. What did you call it? Your body dysmorphia it's like literally just kind of just not seeing clearly. And some of us will struggle with. Yeah. Having the wrong thought about what we're seeing, the wrong thought about how we feel. And so it's like full circle back to the psalmist in Psalm 42, saying, okay, soul, you're doing, you're feeling this way, but you can't. The feeling can't take over. Remind yourself what is true. And so you said to me over lunch, like, hey, this is one of those moments you gotta preach truth to yourself. And that's true. Like, if I'm being honest, this is a bigger challenge for me than to crank out an entire book full of beautiful artwork. It's a bigger challenge for me than to run a board meeting or to make business decisions. This sitting here and being vulnerable and being like, okay, this is just me on a screen feeling vulnerable. These are the challenging things. But it's helped me remind myself. It's helped me do the hard thing. That puts me in a place where I have to say, you either really believe that you are who God says you are, or you're gonna fake your way through life. And so I have to really be like, okay, this is my process before I step on stage or before I get to be on Candace's podcast, is that I say, okay, what does God say about you, Ruth? Remember that God says he knew you before anyone else did, that he designed you on purpose. There's not one place you can go that he's not with you.
- [22:19]
Candace Cameron Bure
Fearfully and wonderfully made.
- [22:22]
Ruth Jo Simons
Yes. And that. And that. And he sees through the heart and that he even takes delight. And I even think about Ephesians 2, 8, 10, you know, by grace, you have been saved through faith. It's not because of what you've done. No one can boast. Stop acting like it's because you did something so amazing. Paul didn't say it just like that, but that's my paraphrase. And he's like, you were prepared for. For all these wonderful things that God prepared beforehand for you to walk in. Like, there's a lot of great things and good purpose for you to walk in. But it wasn't because you were awesome, and it's not because you're the prettiest or the best. These are all my paraphrases of Ephesians 2:8 through 10. But the reality is you've been saved by faith. So, like, by grace, through faith. It's because you put your faith in him that you said, thank you, God. Thank you, God, for making me. I surrender. That's why I have purpose and I can walk in those things. So if I remember that, I can say it's not about you. I love that you always say that on your podcast, that it's not a show about me. You know, it's for the listener here. But I have to remind myself every time I get into that, like, slight performance mode where it's like, you, too. Where it's like, am I meeting expectation? Do I have everyone's approval? And I can just fake it and look real brave, but if I'm not renewed on the inside, it's going to show ultimately. So I. That's the thing. That's the thing I have to do every time I have to, like, get in the green room, I have to stand backstage and have a moment where I'm like. Like, Ruth, you know, I'm doing the psalmist thing. Like, why are you freaking out, soul? Like, put an end to this. Remind yourself what is true about you. You're a daughter of the king. You are. You can come to him. You can cry, you can. You can struggle. But he loves you. He's never gonna leave you. He's never gonna forsake you. You were saved because of him, not because of what you've done.
- [24:13]
Candace Cameron Bure
Yeah.
- [24:14]
Ruth Jo Simons
And that's. That's how I can start changing the way I see myself. So then, yeah, like, I can go work out, but I won't work out because I have something to prove or I have to do it in order to be loved. I can work out because, like you said earlier in a different episode, because I'm so grateful to God that he made me and that he gave me another day of life that I can change my mind about how I take care of my body, how I serve him with who I am. It's a daily fight. I'm just saying it's not. It doesn't come natural for me.
- [24:48]
Candace Cameron Bure
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- [26:11]
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- [26:24]
Candace Cameron Bure
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- [27:00]
Candace Cameron Bure
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- [28:10]
Ruth Jo Simons
And it's been part of your story too, right? To have to like teach yourself what is true about body, Soul, person. You know all the things.
- [28:20]
Candace Cameron Bure
Yeah, I think one of the biggest takeaways from this past season when we talked about body Soul is to also recognize recognize how loved I am by what my body was Actually made for. And it's a housing of the Holy Spirit. Like I am physically an ambassador, like God lives in me. And when we say that we are a temple of the Holy Spirit, it's because I am a house for God. You know, they used to, in the Old Testament, they would. They'd build the ark and it would go around. They'd travel around with it, and there'd be a cloud by day and fire by night. You knew that God was with them. And. And then Jesus came, and Jesus was present on the earth in physical form as a man. And then he said, I. I'm gonna go away, but I'm gonna give you something better. And so while there was always a temple or a place for God to dwell, whether that was the ark, whether that was a physical temple like Solomon built, or it was Jesus himself, the. The temple now in which God is housed is our body. It's us.
- [29:32]
Ruth Jo Simons
Yes. Yes.
- [29:34]
Candace Cameron Bure
And so when I sit on that, when I think about that, when I really let it sink in, like, this is. This is what I'm. I'm made for. This is what my whole body and per my purpose of the creation of it. And I'm supposed to walk carrying the glory of God. And so that changes everything. It changes everything. And it can put it in perspective so quickly.
- [30:03]
Ruth Jo Simons
Right.
- [30:03]
Candace Cameron Bure
When I want to nitpick.
- [30:05]
Ruth Jo Simons
Yes.
- [30:05]
Candace Cameron Bure
About my body, whether it's in a physical sense or whether it's my ability of, well, I wish I could. Could do this, or I wish I had that talent. I'm like, but this is what God gave me and I'm housing. Housing his spirit. How. Like that is mind blowing to me.
- [30:23]
Ruth Jo Simons
Yes. And it's. It's right there in the scriptures. But when you put it that way, when you start talking about that way, you realize if we were to wake up every morning and before we look in the mirror and start messing and touching and being like, ooh, should I fix. If you start actually speaking those words of truth and reminding yourself what is true, I really think we would default to that thought than the other thoughts. Right. I mean, if it's true that we default to what we practice the most, we should be practicing the truth that we are a temple for the Holy Spirit, we are Christ's ambassadors. And as long as I have breath today, my taking care of my body is taking care of the temple of God.
- [31:04]
Candace Cameron Bure
Right.
- [31:04]
Ruth Jo Simons
It's just a. Yeah.
- [31:06]
Candace Cameron Bure
And we. We may be the only. We may be the only way that another person who doesn't know Christ encounters Christ. That Day. I think about that too. Through me, through my body. Whether it's through my words or my actions, just doing something kind or smiling or giving a compliment to a stranger. They. That may be where they see Jesus, where they see God in a day like. And I love that. And that also can feel overwhelmingly loving to me, that God is so gracious that he gave us our body to house this. Like, how incredible is that? If I don't. I don't know what love is, you know?
- [31:52]
Ruth Jo Simons
Have you ever read and. Well, I'm sure you have, but in. I think it's John 17, when you're like reading again and again about the Father, Son, and the Holy Spirit having this triune, like, love fest, they are like, they're one. And. And Jesus is like, let them, as in us, his children. Let them be part of us. Like, we are one. Let them be one with acid. And sometimes I stop and I have that same moment where I'm like, wait, I just got invited into this amazing love that the Father has for the Son, the Son has for the Father, the triune God. Three persons in one. It's like the intimacy there is, the love that we've been given access to, invited into that somehow for all the ways in which we feel like we have to perfect ourselves. It's exactly the surrendered, imperfect life that has been invited into being part of this holy union.
- [32:55]
Candace Cameron Bure
And how beloved are we? It's so that he invites us in.
- [33:01]
Ruth Jo Simons
We need to replay this part of this episode over and over again, because I know I'm gonna forget it. And then I'm gonna have a moment where I'm like, oh, my goodness, I wish this weren't true. And here's the thing. It's like, this side of heaven, we're gonna have wrinkles, we're gonna get older, we're gonna struggle with things being flabby. The other day, my arm was moving like. Like, I just.
- [33:23]
Candace Cameron Bure
Girl, my arm's gonna forever wave no matter how many tricep push ups I can do.
- [33:27]
Ruth Jo Simons
Okay. It's just called skin on my body. Now I've got, like, flaps. So, like, I mean, yeah, there's always gonna be something like that. The sound of heaven, right?
- [33:35]
Candace Cameron Bure
Yeah.
- [33:36]
Ruth Jo Simons
But I think it's. I guess the whole. This whole season I've been thinking about how. Because it's been a challenge for me to have these, like, these conversations. I'm preaching to myself as we're talking, and I'm thinking, you know, I don't have this nailed down. I'm not again, you called me out on that too. Like it was lunch today that I was like, it's a little hard to be on camera. I feel like I'd like to lose a few pounds before I'm on screen or on, you know, I struggle with those thoughts and I'm just being really honest about it. But I think this whole season, what we've seen over and over again is that if we want to battle those kinds of thoughts, because we've talked about a lot of versions of anxious thoughts, right? It's anxious thoughts over disappointment or sadness or grief or now whether we're lovely or loved. And there's all forms of worry and fear and anxiety. But I think the thing that's fascinating is that every single time we feel that burden or the anxiety or the kind of, that fear of like we're not enough in any way, whether it's in circumstance or in ourselves, it's always an invitation to have God's point of view. It's always an invitation to see what God says about it. And I think that's what Jesus put on display when he says, look at the birds of the air, look at the flowers of the field. Can you tell what kind of God I am? Take care of them, they're beautiful. And the flowers don't have to toil and spin to look lovely. They just are because God designed them. And so, you know, I, I think about how that's the truth. I have to preach to myself that I had to rehearse again and again.
- [35:16]
Candace Cameron Bure
Me too. Let's go to a listener question.
- [35:19]
Ruth Jo Simons
Okay.
- [35:21]
Candace Cameron Bure
This is from Karen, and she asks, how did you learn to treat your body with grace and love? Oh, well, I. I have shared this a couple of times now, but I had a really wild dream after I had read in numbers. I think it's numbers 22, but I had a wild dream. You know the story of the donkey?
- [35:54]
Ruth Jo Simons
You're having wild dreams, girl.
- [35:56]
Candace Cameron Bure
I know, but I, I really saw a vision of myself in the way that. Go, go and read the story in Numbers 22. I was basically Balaam treating the way he treated the donkey was how I've treated my body for so many years. And that was just this crazy wake up call. And honestly, God revealed that to me in a very powerful way. But from that day forward, it was like, I can't not have love and grace for my body. I'm so grateful that he. That he did that for me. But everything we've been talking about learning to treat your body with grace and love, I would Say, look at it from a parent's point of view and even if maybe you don't have the best examples of a parent that loved you the way you deserved to be loved, but if you were a parent today, how would you treat that child? With love and grace. And you would nurture and care for them. And so I like to think of myself in those terms, like, would I ever say this to my child about their body or whatever it is? Would I ever treat my child this way as a parent? Because God would never say those things to you. God would never. And so you, you, you. It's not honoring to God for you to tell him that his creation isn't deserving of grace and love because he loves you and has so much grace for you. And so when you think about it from God's perspective, it's incredibly helpful. But again, you have to know what God says about you and know His Word so that you can, you can tell yourself those truths.
- [37:53]
Ruth Jo Simons
And you have to practice it. Because I think it's so helpful even to this listener that, to hear you say that, Candace, because I think there might be an assumption that you don't struggle with those things, but the fact that you have to actually remind yourself what is true and to realign your thoughts with what is true and not allow yourself to go down a path of being unkind to your own body, being unkind to the way you talk about yourself, you know, and so it is a practice. Yeah. Every day. Our second listener question is anonymous. Hi, Candace. I'm a 17 year old from Africa.
- [38:31]
Candace Cameron Bure
Wait, what? Another 17 year old. Yay. And we have a listener from Africa. That's incredible.
- [38:38]
Ruth Jo Simons
And she says, and I enjoy watching your podcast. Yay.
- [38:42]
Candace Cameron Bure
Thank you.
- [38:42]
Ruth Jo Simons
I've been a Christian all my life and I'm about to finish high school. My question to you is, how do you learn to truly see God as a father and fully believe that he's always on your side? Sometimes I struggle with that. And it may be pride or fear or disappointment from the past. We're all three. It's really insightful. But I'd love to know how you learned to fully see God as dad.
- [39:10]
Candace Cameron Bure
Oh, I think this is, it's absolutely possible, but it really, the initial instinct is so dependent on who, what your relationship with your father is. Your human father in real life.
- [39:27]
Ruth Jo Simons
Yeah.
- [39:28]
Candace Cameron Bure
Whether you have a father, whether that father was in your life or unavailable, whether they were kind, loving, nurturing, or never present or mean or harsh or abusive. So it's so hard for when you do not have a good example of an earthly father as a loving, caring dad. To then know, like, well, how. How can God be like that? Yeah, because you have. That hasn't been modeled to you.
- [39:57]
Ruth Jo Simons
And I think that's when we have to lean on what Jesus says of his heavenly father. We need to lean on what we were invited into to cry out, abba, Father. That's a tender expression. But I'll just say to this sweet listener, if you're listening, I am a testimony. I'm a testament to the fact that it is possible. Because like I said, my dad did the best he knew how. He had a terrible example. I have a dad who is largely not present and largely not. It feels like I should walk into the room maybe saying, I've got some fun announcement. But other than that, there's not a lot of intimacy. And I felt that way, you know, And I couldn't understand how possibly I could be loved apart from proving myself or having something exciting to say, like, I had to earn that. And yet God in time, showed me and taught me how to really see him as a father. And so I feel really tender about this question because, yeah, this took me a really long time because I struggled with having my earthly father be a good example of that. And I couldn't understand how I could cry out because I didn't sit on my dad's lap. I didn't have that, like, tender relationship. But I think in time, as you go to the word, as you ask the Lord to reveal himself and help you see his character, you realize Jesus is better than any version of a friend, brother, father. Like, he's just better. He's a perfect example of all those friendships he is.
- [41:34]
Candace Cameron Bure
I'm gonna add, and this might be really cheesy, but if you can imagine the father you would always want to have. And I will go as far to say, if you watch old television, 80s and 90s sitcoms, you might see some families on there that you wish you would have been a part that were great dads. And I will say that Full House was one of them. Danny Tanner was a great dad, not a perfect one, but loved his girls. And when you could visually see some examples, even if it's from a fake TV show. But if you are like that, can at least show you a model of what a father can be and should be. But then to know that God is way beyond that, beyond, way beyond that. But that can at least give you hope and insight into the model of how it can be. But whatever your biggest Dreams are of how you wished you could be loved by your earthly dad. That is how you're loved and beyond measure by God.
- [42:50]
Ruth Jo Simons
Well, hold on to that sweet girl from, yeah, Africa. Thank you for writing in and thanks.
- [42:56]
Candace Cameron Bure
For watching our podcast. So just so delighted. Thank you everyone who's been watching this podcast. And Ruth, thank you so much for sharing with us.
- [43:06]
Ruth Jo Simons
It's such a joy.
- [43:07]
Candace Cameron Bure
It's been absolutely wonderful. And you're going to be back next week. We're gonna, we're gonna go through Christmas with you guys. But thanks so much for joining us. And I have to ask you, are you on our email list yet? Because every week we send out show notes, ideas. We even answer listener questions there too. And I don't want you to miss that. And I also don't want you to miss our free gift for you this season. It's an Advent guide from Ruth's gorgeous Advent devotional book, Emmanuel. Free to download@candice.com and if you want a place for more podcasts and discussion, monthly challenges and a private chat to encourage each other, the Together community is for you. You can get the app and find details about how to become a monthly member@candice.com together. Thanks for joining us this week. Come back one more week before Christmas and until next time, be grateful all day, every day. Candy Rock Entertainment. All rights reserved.
- [44:22]
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- [44:48]
Candace Cameron Bure
Phew.
- [44:49]
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