B (2:33)

Subscribe.

A (2:34)

Come join us.

A (2:43)

Hi. You look so beautiful. You have every week. And I love your tr. I love your whole vibe, if I can say that.

B (2:51)

Just your vibe.

A (2:51)

It's so. I just. I love your style. It's Beautiful. And you have the most gorgeous turquoise ring on, too.

B (2:58)

Thank you. I mean, it's kind of a neutral now for me. You know, I just wear it with everything.

A (3:03)

I love it. Have you always had this style, or did you come into it at a certain year in your life?

B (3:08)

I mean, I think if you're an artist, you just end up being an artist in everything. So if it's plating food or if it's getting dressed, I like makeup. I mean, it's just like, everything's a palette, you know, So I kind of get. I have various styles because I get bored easily. So there are days when I'm like, it's the black leather pants, you know, and then there are days when I'm like, it's all about botanicals. And so I figured this fit with.

A (3:30)

Fitting for the wildflower. I know. I love it. So are you totally prepped for Christmas?

B (3:37)

Never. I am never totally prepped.

A (3:40)

Does it get really hurried, though, in your. Because you have six boys and do you have a large extended family?

B (3:48)

We. We don't have a lot of pressure with the extended family because there's. Yeah, there's, like, lots of cousins and lots of, you know, but there's not pressure to. We're not always trying to get together. We're not always sending gifts across the miles.

A (3:59)

Okay.

B (3:59)

And I think over the years, I think I said on a previous episode that because it's retail season for, like, we're a retail family. We own a small business that serves. During holiday seasons, we have to make choices to not say yes to everything. So I, like, purposely try to slow things down, you know, because I could get. I mean, if we haven't learned already in this whole season. I'm a recovering perfectionist. You know, I for sure have ideals in my mind, and I'm like, my expectation is that we do this and then that, and then it looks beautiful this way. And I've learned to just. Just be like, let's try to make sure we get one or two things that really matter to us done or kind of experienced. And then everything else let go. Just let it go. Because it's too much.

A (4:45)

It is too much. It kind of is crazy to me that during the holidays, and by the way, we're talking about being unhurried in our lives this week, we're going to talk about slowing down.

A (5:00)

But it's crazy to me that during the Christmas season, it is a time to focus on this gift, the gift of a savior that was given to us and to focus on Our relationship with God and, and yet consumerism has made it the most hurried season of the year. And you're just thinking about running all over town because you have to get this present and that present and maybe you online shop, but then you're on your computer all the time and we're.

B (5:27)

Actually kind of anxious through this whole time. Totally anxious.

A (5:30)

Is it picture perfect? Do I have the right gift? Did I remember this person? Am I forgetting aunt, whoever, uncle, whatever?

B (5:37)

Yes.

A (5:38)

And it gets crazy. And I feel like most people are so stressed out after the holidays when really this holiday is a time for us to remember, to reflect, to come into the presence of the Lord and be still with him.

B (5:55)

And you know, I think part of it is that we have a lot of expectations. You know, I think I like to say, you know, are we coming with expectancy or do we have a lot of expectations? Because expectations are never gonna be met. Quite right. If your expectation is, I'm gonna repair all family relationships, I'm gonna really prove myself as you know, then you're gonna have all these, or I'm gonna have the most beautiful home. And if something goes wrong, you're like, my Christmas is ruined. You know, those kinds of expectations really drive us up the wall. You know, we get so stressed out. And so I sometimes think it's really good. Even now, friends, as you're listening, it's really good just to take a moment, just to pause and say, what is causing me so much angst right now? Whether you want to call it anxiety or angst or stress or what is causing you to be like, I'm breathing heavy and elevated.

A (6:45)

Yeah, you're unsettled.

B (6:46)

You know, what is it that's making you feel that way? And I, I, I'm probably a little bit more like into self examining than a lot of people, but I like to trace my way back and say, okay, that thought leads to this thought. Oh, I think the root thought is I don't feel like I'm going to be a good daughter. Like my parents will think I'm the bad daughter if I don't do this thing. Or do my kids even love me if they don't do it this way? Like it. And if you trace those thoughts, you kind of realize like again, like we've said all season, it's a core belief. It's like what we're thinking, it's how we're thinking will affect how we live. I, I regularly say this to my kids, I write about it. But you know, right. Believing lives leads to Right. Living like it starts with your actions. And throughout God's word, we see this, that your actions follow your beliefs. Your.

A (7:34)

Yes.

B (7:34)

How you live will follow what you think. And so if there's anything we've done in all our conversations is to say if we want to live free, if we want to live unhurried, if we want to live in this way that is unburdened, we actually have to change the way we think about our circumstances, the way we think about God and the way we think about ourselves.

A (7:55)

You know, how has that played into your relationship with your boys? You're raising six boys in the house and the youngest is 12.

B (8:05)

Yeah.

A (8:05)

And then you have some up to the early 20s. So you still have a very hustling, bustling. Is it sports everywhere? I mean, is, is there hurry in the running to and fro? Yeah.

B (8:19)

You know, as a fellow mom, you know, there's no formula. It's not like just, just because I say this is how we do it doesn't mean everybody else should do it or whatever. But we made a choice early on that we were not going to run everybody to different sports because we were a huge household. We, we were like, okay, what matters so much to us? And there's, there's going to be listeners out there who are running all over the town. So I'm not saying we did. So there's no one right way to do it. But I think every family has to decide what, what are our non negotiables. And in our family, because I travel a lot, because there's a lot of other moving pieces, we're also a ministry family. We knew that their number one access to discipleship and the Lord couldn't come from just our public ministry, couldn't come from Sunday morning when we're serving at church. We had to have some time at home. And we couldn't do that with six kids if everybody got to do everything. So we made some choices. We said, okay, these are some things we're going to do that are not after school, you know, group sports with school. It's just we're going to do these things, whether that's hiking or biking, we're going to do things as a family. And one of our non negotiables is that we get together every day at some point and usually it's dinner or right after dinner. And so even when we're talking about this Advent season, that's the only way. I mean, I don't do a perfect Advent thing. I don't have like, I Don't hang things or unwrap things every day. It's not that beautiful. So don't be, you know, disappointed. It's not all glistening and gorgeous. But we do make sure that every day we get together and share a little bit about. Maybe we read a scripture, maybe we share a little bit about what we're learning about the Lord in the season. So we pause that way. But that's a rhythm that we already have every day. So Advent just kind of goes in, gets included in that time.

A (10:06)

Do you think that your boys recognize the difference of your life and the pace of your family life compared to some of their friends?

B (10:15)

They talk about it a lot.

A (10:17)

They do.

B (10:17)

They actually do. Because they went off to college or wherever, and they're like, oh, we do things a little differently. Or they go, wow, we are a family that likes to have conversations. This is a. This is a big thing. They're like, wait, my friends don't know how to have conversations or. And they don't real. They realize, like, a lot of kids aren't talking to their parents. Yeah, but in our house, we normalized getting everything on the table. We normalized apologizing to each other, admitting the messy stuff that happened earlier. So there's a lot of conversation, which made getting together normal. So it's not like we're sitting there singing Amazing Grace and, like, we're doing family devotions. It's that we just are like, hey, family meeting time. Everybody get together. We're eating dinner. It's not always going to be gourmet. You know, we're sitting around even if we picked up something, but we're going to make sure we look at one another face to face. And that's the only way we could not be in a hurry all the time. Because, you know, one of the things that happens in a family our size is somebody's always bickering with somebody. Somebody's always. There's always something going on, and it feels really tempting to be like, well, I'm gonna go to my room and you go to your room, and we're all gonna ignore each other until we all cool off. But in our house, it's kind of like, nope, we're all gonna get together. So the more stressed we are, the more we're like, everybody circle up. We're all gonna sit down, pour up a cup of tea, and we're here until we all work it out.

A (11:39)

Same.

B (11:40)

Really good. I love that. You really do that.

A (11:42)

Yeah. We have a very similar house, and we. We're all Big talkers. And we love it around, especially when there's beef. And even if the other one of the kids isn't included in the beef, we all will sit around together and go, let's talk this through. Because sometimes it might be one of the kids or Val or me will be able to interpret feelings.

B (12:04)

Yes.

A (12:05)

And I say interpret because sometimes someone.

B (12:07)

Can'T vocalize somebody to, like, draw it out at you.

A (12:09)

Yeah. Just like a therap. But you're just having family time together and you're talking it through. Well, I really do love that they recognize the difference of the pace of your household and the difference of the time that you've designated and carved out. And that in itself is a true testimony, because you could tell me all the things and go, oh, well, we do this. But if I ask you that question, do your kids actually recognize? And if they didn't, then.

A (12:37)

Then I, you know, I don't know. There's something that.

B (12:39)

And sometimes they recognize later. But I think.

A (12:41)

Well, of course, you know.

B (12:42)

Right. I think as we're launching, we've got some that we're launching at the door, as some keep coming back, but we've got some that we're launching out and they're recognizing. And we've got one that's 23, and he's already got his eye on what kind of household he's going to start someday, you know, someday soon, maybe even. And realizing that these are choices that we made, and it started a long time ago, like this unhurried pace. And I. When I say that I want to disclaimer. I'm not saying you walk into our house and there's candles lit and we're all just slow.

A (13:13)

It feels like peace and serenity at all moments.

B (13:15)

Peace and serenity all the time.

A (13:16)

No, it doesn't feel like a day spa.

B (13:18)

I mean, sometimes it feels like a frat house with empty cereal boxes everywhere. And I'm like, put your stuff away. You know? So I am not saying it's all peaceful, but I'm saying the idea that the. The paradigm that we are going to operate not out of saying yes to everything, we're going to operate out of we have rest. We're going to all take time every day for the things that are most important. That was a choice that happened a long ago. And I. I feel like one of the things that, you know, I think sometimes we miss is that we don't realize that it takes sacrifice to be unhurried.

A (13:53)

It does in our culture today. I feel like it Takes more sacrifice to be unhurried than you can easily get caught up in the hustle and bustle and. And the rush of everything. Because there's pride in our culture to be like, oh, you're hustling. You're hustling. Look at that hustle, right? And then, you know, people feel more emboldened. The more things they have going on, the more hustle there is, the more that they're doing is better. And yet there has to be sacrifice somewhere. And when you're hustling for something, you're losing out on another thing, because you can't do all things all the time, all at once. It's just not possible.

B (14:35)

So a lot of people would look at your life and say, candace, you do do it all. Like, you are busy and you have all these things. What are some things? I mean, what can you share to say, like, hey, I don't do it all. And to fight for an unhurried posture in life is. Is a choice. And you're saying no to other things that might get you further ahead faster, right?

A (14:59)

Exactly. I am. And it's taken a long time to come to a place to realize that the sacrifice and the ability to say no to things that may further you faster that. That there's. It's, you know, it's better to.

A (15:20)

Run the race, I guess, steady or slower and being present. So I say that, yeah, now in my life, but I'm, you know, I'm almost 50 years old, but I have certainly been caught up. It's taken many, many years to learn how to balance that. And that was part of my book, Balancing it all that I wrote. It was like, you can do all the things, just not at the same time.

B (15:44)

I so agree. I mean, and I think that you can be ambitious and not be in a hurry. And I think that we think that ambition and, like, having dreams and goals and wanting to use your gifts means that you're, like, gonna chase after it and run fast. When really, I've learned that the unhurried life actually is one that. I don't know if I want to go back to food terms, but it's, like, helps you marinate. Like, you're marinating, and you're, like, actually coming into full maturity.

A (16:15)

I don't want slow and steady wins the race.

B (16:17)

Right. I mean, I don't want it to ever be said of me that my ministry outpaced my maturity, you know, or that my success outpaced my ability to bring character and wisdom and integrity. Like, we've Talked about to it. I don't remember which episode it was a couple back. You shared about that 10 year gap that you kind of stepped back in your work and stuff. I don't think I shared it on that episode. But, you know, early on I knew that I got these giftings. I like to write and I like to paint and I'm like, just creative and artistic to the point where I was like, I want to sew drapes, I want to decorate. And everything had to be like artsy because I'm just like that. So I couldn't stay still. Like, I just wanted to make stuff all the time. Dreaming up opening a coffee shop, dreaming up opening a gallery, thinking of starting new nonprofits and businesses, all this stuff. And then I was having babies and my husband was a pastor and I was like, oh my goodness, like, I can barely keep the laundry washed and clean. And I. I remember there was a moment where I was like, the ship is passing me by. I'm seeing all these people who are like getting big in what they're doing. They're pursuing their dreams. I got these little people and these little people take time because they get in a little fight. And then you're like, let's sit and talk about this. And that talk could go on for 30 minutes as you work on their hearts and stuff. And I learned something about that season. I wouldn't have known it then, but I can say in retrospect, looking back, that had I been in a hurry to get where I wanted to go, like, I know that I'm supposed to use these giftings, I have these purposes. I want to do this. And I just go like, oh, I want what I don't have. I'm going to run after it. Had I done that, I think it would have been said of me that success was outpacing my ability and my maturity to bring substance to it. But instead, this phrase rose up in that season of my life. And I don't know if you have felt this way when you've stepped back to. I just kept thinking this phrase. Just because you can doesn't mean you should. That I could. I had, I had energy, I had talent.

A (18:30)

Everything is permissible. Yes, but not all beneficial.

B (18:33)

Yes. And I mean, it is biblical. But it's like I knew that I could try to juggle it all. I could try and do it all and like wear myself super thin and hustle, hustle, hustle. Or I could say, you know what? I can, but I would sacrifice other things. And so in order to Have a healthy pace in order to not feel like I'm in a rush to disciple my kids, but to like left, like let life unfold. I wrote at night when there was some time I painted during nap times, which is how Grace Lace ultimately grew out of that. But I can say right now that the things that I'm even talking about right here on this podcast came out of a season that was so hidden. A season that I felt like was really too slow. Like sometimes I was like, oh my goodness, like this feels a little boring, you know, but it was a time of refining.

A (19:27)

Exactly.

B (19:28)

And I wonder sometimes, have you pushed against refining in slow seasons?

A (19:33)

Sure. I mean, but very relatable. That's the same thing with me that, that break I was of, of from acting and staying home with my kids was a refining season for me. And I, and I, I grew to love it. But I can even look back in that season and I wish I could have some do overs in, in that because.

A (19:55)

Even though the. My life was slower and was less hurried, my mind wasn't always in it. It wasn't always present. And I wish I just grew, I grew so much. But I really felt like I missed out on certain things with my kids because even if I was at hockey practice with them or even when I was in the classroom as the craft mom for that week, my mind wasn't there. And that's honest.

B (20:28)

Yeah.

A (20:28)

Yeah. And I feel I can look back and I feel bad about that. I wish I could have enjoyed those moments more and sat in it.

A (20:37)

But my mind was often future thinking going, well, what, what, what? What else is next? What am I going to do?

B (20:45)

What a testimony. I am grateful that you're saying that because I think it's very relatable and I think we all know that. We've all had that experience. And honestly, social media came about, I mean, we're the same age. Social media came about right in that season when our kids were first little, little. And I think about how much even slowing life down, but yet always being tethered to people that aren't in your home has kind of robbed us a lot of times. And I'm not saying social media is all bad, I'm on social media. But that, I think a lot of times that question of how to be both unhurried but also really present in the season you're actually in. I think this idea of we've been framing up this whole season in how do we fight anxiety and anxious thoughts by living, you know, as I call the way of the wildflower, like what's on display when you see a flower live, the way God's placed that flower. And the unhurried thing really comes out of recognizing, like I think we talked about it on a different episode, that there are flowers that bloom in the season that's designed for them. The flower is not blooming too early, too late. Right. A crocus comes out before the snow's even melted because that's her season. The carcass is the first one out of the gate because it's meant to bloom while it's still snowing. But the dahlia comes in September or October, and it is a fall flower and it's blooming in season. And so when we're in a rush and when we're kind of like, I want what she has, look at how successful her career is. And in an Instagram world, everybody looks like their profile picture and we all seem like everything's the same when really, like, you. And I can say, wow, I can look back on 20, 30 years of what brought me here. And I think we need to tell more stories of how I know unhurried seasons, actually.

A (22:48)

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A (24:13)

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A (24:49)

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A (24:54)

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A (25:56)

Do you know the comedian Leanne Morgan?

B (25:59)

I don't think I do. Tell me, do the. Oh my goodness.

A (26:02)

Oh, so I. She's hilarious. She has a brand new show on Netflix called Leanne, but she is a clean comic. She is, I think, just a few years older than me. She's in her early 50s. She's as Southern as Southern chemistry.

B (26:23)

Oh, I know who you're talking about. Okay. You did it really well. Okay, I know who it is now.

A (26:30)

And she's so funny.

B (26:31)

You're so good at this.

A (26:33)

I'm not. It's a terrible question. But like, I love her. She's so funny. But you know, I've watched her career and I've watched her interviews and she, she just always knew she would have a life in entertainment, but it didn't hit for her until she was 50 years old.

B (26:53)

Wow.

A (26:54)

And to go so many years and now it's like she is one of the top comedians right now. You can watch her, yes, her specials on Netflix and you can see her all over Instagram. But now you can watch her half hour sitcom on Netflix.

B (27:08)

Goodness.

A (27:09)

And she's on tour. It's so great. But I, I do think about probably that season of her life of just sitting in the unhurried and sitting in the patient and all of that. And then it's like what you were saying about the flowers. They're planted and they bloom in the season God has for Them. And it's like she got to bloom middle aged, but she always thought she'd be a 20 year old, you know, having her career. And it's, it's a wonder anyway. Oh, you have to watch the next Liam Morgan special.

B (27:39)

You did it so well that I'm, I'm like, wow, you're good at impersonating people. I mean like, it's like you're an actress or something, you know? That's amazing. Amazing.

A (27:47)

I have to work on it. I gotta work on it.

B (27:49)

Well, you know, I was remembering that you quoted Ecclesiastes a couple episodes ago. And about time, because there really is a time for everything. And I think a lot of times we are working ourselves into a tizzy because we're trying to make something happen before it's the right time. We can get on Instagram and go, how come that person blew up? I'm trying to say the same thing. And everybody's listening to her. What about me? And I remember feeling some of those feelings when my kids were little, going, will my gifts ever be used that way? Oh my goodness, I want to do such and such.

B (28:26)

And I think again it comes back to over and over again trusting the character of God, believing that.

B (28:34)

His time is perfect, his timing for everything. But it's so interesting to me and I wanna maybe pick your brain on this, is that when we look at God's word, we see the tension of wait, Wait for his timing. Like, you know, Abraham, go to this place. I'm not gonna tell you exactly where or what, but. Or what's gonna happen, but just do the next thing. It's like, this could take a long time. Child of promise doesn't come for a long, long time. There's like this waiting, this aching of waiting. And then there's this picture of running, running the race with endurance. You're running, you're not running. You're running with focus. Yes. You're not like taking your time. You're not, you know, Paul's telling us to stay awake, stay focused, run the race with endurance. Casting off all the stuff that hinders. That's Hebrews 12. And I'm thinking, okay, if we cast off all the stuff that hinders, that means we're trying to run fast and run well and not have things that are weighing us down. But we also see that it's about a lot of waiting for God's timing. Yeah. Where, where have you seen that kind of unhurriedness in your life? Do you feel like that happens? I mean, I feel like, that's.

A (29:43)

Honestly, that is my. I feel like that's my life. I feel like that's probably everyone's life. And we're also, we're very goal driven people.

B (29:49)

I know you and I are so alike, actually.

A (29:51)

Yeah, we really are and goal driven people. So there's been, there's always so much in my entertainment industry, in movie making, it's always hurry up and wait, Hurry up and wait. That's the thing that goes.

B (30:06)

Yeah.

A (30:06)

So I've, I've learned how to have patience over the years and to sit in the wait. But it's only come with age and wisdom that you realize that things are happening in the wait. And it's not always easy to sit in that season, but God's always working. And then I think the older we get, I think it's easier to be, to want to be unhurried.

A (30:38)

Because we want to do everything when we are young. We have the energy, we have the focus, we have all the things to run that race, throw off the things that hinder us. And then you get a little older, you might be in perimenopause, you might be. Have been post menopause and your bodies change and all of this. And now you're like, well, maybe I actually don't even have the energy. And now I'm welcoming. Let's just slow it down.

B (31:00)

Troy, actually, he turned 50 sooner than I. He's a few years older than me. And he said, he goes, ruth, I'm really recognizing that the slow half is over. And I was like, what? What? That the first 50 years were the slow. Like it was slow to get to the first 50. And that now we're. Oh, now it's going fast. So of course we want to slow it down because, yes, you're right. We were like, when am I, you.

A (31:27)

Know, when am I gonna, when am I gonna drive? When am I gonna turn 21? When am I gonna have a family?

B (31:33)

And it felt like it took so long. And he, he just said that to me nonchalantly one day he was like, you know, the slow half of my life is over. And I was like, oh, yeah. Like, that's such a.

A (31:44)

It's a funny way to say it, but it's so true.

B (31:47)

I know. And so, you know, I think about how that we, especially when I meet younger women, and I hope we have so many young women listening and we got that listener question from a 17 year old. But I think so often it feels like life's gonna pass me by if I don't do everything all at the same time. So I guess I would put you on the spot and say, what would you say to somebody right now if she feels like she's in a hurry or he or whoever, you know, somebody isn't listening and feels like they're in a hurry to get where they want to go and it's not happening for them fast enough. Whether it's in the entertainment industry or whether it's as an author or just in whatever goal or.

A (32:24)

Yeah.

B (32:25)

Or even getting married, marriage and having children or. There's so many, many things where we're just kind of like, I, you know, I want that to be my season, not this season. And again, I think about flowers, like those flowers that we talked about earlier. They're not supposed to bloom in January. They're supposed to bloom in June. You know, like, God knows the season. But what would you say to somebody listening to me?

A (32:49)

Well, so when people are trying to hurry through and get through, get to a new season in their life.

A (32:57)

And they're so desiring to get to the next step, I'm always like, but what do you have to learn in the season you're in now? And remember that if you're in a season that is not desirable for you and you're just waiting to get out of it so that you can start the next one, there's something to be learned. There's something. And it might be the virtue of.

B (33:17)

Patience, and it actually is preparing you for the next. For whatever God's got for you. Because I never thought that the lessons I learned during that season would be the very ones that I start teaching and encouraging with or speaking on a podcast about. But it was learned in a time, in a season that I wouldn't have chosen for myself, you know, but, you know, let's go back. I want to just circle back around to this whole season we've been talking about how to combat worry and fear and anxiety and anxious thoughts. And just as a recap, like, we're not saying that it's like you have to be in a tizzy all the time, but that sometimes when we just think and we think and we go, how do I fix the situation? How do I get out of this? It just feels like a burden to not be present with the circumstances God gives us. And that hurriedness thing is kind of part of that anxious thought loop of going, I don't like where I'm at right now. I gotta get out of where I'm at. I gotta get to somewhere else in a Lot of ways it's commendable if you're like, hey, I don't want to be in debt. I want to get to a place where I'm out of debt. So we're not saying. I'm not saying for sure. And I know you're not saying, hey, just be okay with whatever circumstance. Just let it go. It's that we're stewarding the season without being anxious about it, without being like, hey, I'm gonna fret about it constantly, or I'm gonna be scared or nervous or constantly fearful that it's not gonna work out, but rather start with, like, what is actually true? And what you just said was, what is actually true is that God has purpose for the season you're in. And I think if there's anything in this episode for somebody who might be anxious or worried that the ship's going to pass them by and they want to be a podcaster and they haven't started yet, the truth is, it's. You're not too late. God can call you. What you just said about from your book, you know, bouncing it all, that God can call you to a lot of different things, just not all at the same time. And so the truth is. And the truth you can remind yourself is God is a God of order and time, and he knows. He designs you on purpose, for a purpose. Candace Cameron Bure has a purpose that he's designed for you. That's different than my life, and that's so and so's life. We don't need to crave or long for somebody else's life. We can sit in exactly what God's given us and say, okay, the truth is, I'm not going to miss the boat on my life. If I trust the God who ordered and designed me for a purpose, I can't miss it. You can't miss it. Our listener who's struggling with that can't miss it. If they walk in step with the spirit and say, hey, God, I just want to be in step with you. I don't want to miss it. And I feel like I'm missing it. And I'm trying to quickly get to the next season, but maybe it's about stopping and just saying, you designed me on purpose. I'm going to trust you to unfold the plans you have for me as he promises to do so. He who began a good work in you will complete it. Completing it means he's not going to leave us hanging. He's not going to be like, I started that little work of, you know, helping you grow in the fruit of the Spirit. But now you're on your own. That's not how it works. Right.

A (36:28)

He never leaves us.

B (36:29)

He never leaves us. He is at work until we're fully complete, fully sanctified, fully redeemed in the presence of Christ. Like, this is a lifelong process. So don't be in a hurry. Yeah.

A (36:42)

That was great. I'm not even going to add to it. We'll go to a listener question. Okay. This is from Nicolina. I find myself having so many passions, and then when I go to pursue them, I struggle, I become discouraged, and I just want to give up. Anytime I pray about it, I feel lost. How do I know that I'm going in the right direction or asking God the right thing? I relate to this. Do you relate to it?

B (37:12)

I do, too.

A (37:13)

I know you have passions you want to pursue, and then when they're not working out the way you want them to, or it just feels like one failure after another, it's discouraging. And you're like, where am I going, God? What path do you have me on? What am I supposed to be doing?

B (37:27)

You know, I. I kind of wish I could just ask Nicolina, like, what does success look like for you? What does it mean to. To be on the right path? Let's say you're a musician. What does that mean? What's one of your passions? If music is one of your passions, what does it look like to do it well and to succeed? Because I think sometimes we have this image in our mind of how it must look, and maybe we're opening up our phones and comparing it to someone else. But maybe instead of giving up and being discouraged, it might look like redefining and saying, okay, succeeding and honoring the Lord with this passion looks like this. And not aiming at all of that, but just starting with this and then being able to say, lord, am I meeting that? Help me meet that goal first. And that goal may not be monetary or some kind of success measure or numbers. It might just mean faithfulness. It might mean I'm just taking it to the next step. Open doors for me. Help me know. Help me discern. That's the best way I know how. Because I think if you start even as an artist, if my thought is. Or as an actor, if your thought is like, hey, it's to land this gig or it's to start this business, that you might be disappointed when it doesn't go your way right away. But if I start with, like, it looks like possibly pursuing this path or serving somebody with this or actually making this phone call, that could be a good sign.

A (38:51)

Yeah, I think that's great. I also think of it in terms of my kids because we have, my kids are in their 20s, but when we are helping them even find their passion and they might think that some of the gifts and talents that God has given you, you want to fulfill it in a specific way. So what if you are an artist and your dream is to maybe your dreams in.

A (39:19)

I don't know, I mean it could be painting and having a gallery. It could be an animation and you're like, I want to make huge DreamWorks films or Disney Anim animation.

A (39:29)

But where are you honoring God with your talent? So if he's given this to you, but maybe you're pursuing this, you're not quite getting the job that you want, it's not working out well. Does that pursue, does that enable you to maybe start your own graphic design business? You're still using your talents, you're designing things, you're helping people. Is there if you're a musician and you dreamed of touring, but maybe God's like, like I'm calling you to sing in the church. And it's just, I just think that, that I look at my, one of my boys and he is such a people person. He loves talking to people. He's a great storyteller. And people would probably think, oh, you'd be a great actor. And it's like, no, he'd be really great in sales, he'd be great in communications. He has good one on one relationships and where are ways that. But you can, you can fulfill that. It just might be really different. And I would say, Nicolina, maybe be open to giving it a shot that it, whatever you're pursuing, if it's just you've tried and tried and tried and tried, you know, I'd say if you've only tried once or twice, keep trying. Don't give up yet.

B (40:41)

Yeah, both of us have stories like that.

A (40:43)

But there may be something where it's like you're still on the same, along the same line, but it's just looking a little different where you're going to flourish than what you have planned.

B (40:53)

Can I tell you a fun fact? Before Gracelist ever took off, before I was selling artwork all over the world or published or anything, I gave away my artwork every chance I had. I was like, you have a need. I'm going to paint you a scripture and encourage you with it. And after a while of whether it was giving it away or selling it for something really, you know, simple. But it was for the purpose of, I see a need, I'm going to meet a need. And the more I did that, the more the opportunities came. So it was really just like starting small and starting where you could meet a need. Yeah. All right, let's do the second question. Listener name is Charity. She says, I have trouble meeting goals and completing task lists. Always have, since childhood. Literally, as soon as I make a list, it becomes nearly impossible to get done. I hear you, girl. Even a list of three very normally done, double doable, uncomplicated tasks become the most exhausting and even excruciating and impossible endeavor. Because of this, I avoid making lists. I'm tired of the day mares. Wow. What a. Yeah. Any thoughts from a spiritual warfare perspective?

A (42:05)

Well, I think it's even good that you. That you're thinking of it in terms of spiritual warfare. But I look at this charity, and I'm like.

A (42:15)

You avoid making lists because lists are hard. I'm like, good. If you're not a list maker, if those stress you out and you feel like you can't get the check mark, and then you feel like a failure at the end of the day, don't make the list.

B (42:26)

Yeah.

A (42:27)

Some people love lists. I love lists. But you don't need to be a list maker. So I would always take it back to baby steps and not the pressure on yourself. If there's one thing you need to do that day, get that one thing done so good, you can have in your mind three things, but you don't need to make a lift list, and you don't need to check it off.

B (42:45)

Yeah.

A (42:45)

Just do the one thing that God has called you to do that day. And I would. I would absolutely pray over the. Over.

A (42:53)

In a. Pray to God over the spiritual warfare in any way that the enemy's attacking you in your mind that way, or your physical ability to be able to do what you need to do during the day. So it's really good to look at it through a lens. We just had Jonathan Pacluda, who's a pastor out of Waco. He was on two seasons ago. That entire season is on spiritual warfare. And if you have not listened to that, I highly, highly suggest that you should.

A (43:23)

Yeah. Okay. Well, I think that's about it. We're gonna wrap it up, and we only have one. Well, we have one more week of teaching, but you're gonna come back for a seventh week because it's. It's. It's close to Christmas and we're going to have a little special Christmas episode. But come back. Remember that Ruth has a beautiful Advent devotional book entitled Emmanuel. She also has her book the Way of the Wildflower. That's what this whole season is based upon. And the Advent guide that is free is available@candice.com the Together community is a place for ongoing private podcast discussion, monthly challenges, and a place to encourage each other. So go get the app and you can learn all about how to join by going to Candice.com together for those details about how to become a monthly member. And we will see you next week. Until next time, be grateful all day, every day.

A (44:29)

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