← The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast
Where It Goes Sideways- Why Does My Body Feel So Complicated? - Lisa Whittle
01:02:22
Where It Goes Sideways- Why Does My Body Feel So Complicated? - Lisa Whittle
Loading summary
Transcript158 lines
- [00:00]
Candace Cameron Bure
People wrote in on my Instagram in my comments saying, candice, you're a thin person, you have an amazing body. How can you even be complaining? You don't know how it feels. And that's the part where I'm like, you're wrong. This episode is brought to you by We Share if you're still stuck in the traditional health care system, you don't have to be. Think of it like this. Traditional health care is like calling a taxi, slow, expensive and full of red tape. But we share. It's like rideshare. It's faster, more affordable and built around you. We Share is a faith based company Community First Healthcare that keeps things simple. No confusing deductibles, no jumping through corporate hoops. Just real people supporting each other through life's medical needs. And here's something extra special just for my listeners. The $149 application fee is waived. Head to weshare.org candice or call 855-2230-2523 to get your free quote today. That's 855-230-2523. Grand Canyon University, a private Christian university in beautiful Phoenix, Arizona, believes that we're endowed by our Creator with certain unalienable rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. GCU equips you to serve others in ways that promote human flourishing and create a ripple effect of transformation for generations to come. Matthew 5:16 says, in the same way, let your light shine before others so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven. By honoring your career, calling you impact your family, your friends and your community. Whether your pursuit involves a bachelor's, master's, or doctoral degree, GCU's online, on campus and hybrid learning environments are designed to help you achieve your unique academic, personal and professional goals. Find your purpose at Grand Canyon University Private Christian Affordable Visit GCU Edu.
- [02:23]
Lisa Whittle
Life.
- [02:24]
Candace Cameron Bure
Is like a roller coaster, but it's so much better when we go through it together. Welcome to the Candace Cameron Bure Podcast. This podcast isn't about me. I have made it for you. We share conversations about life's challenges, celebrations and everything in between. This season we're talking about our bodies. The fear, the shame, the questions, the anxiety, and how we find healing and love our bodies. My co host Lisa Whittle is here to help us unpack all of it. Come join us. Hi Lisa.
- [03:08]
Unknown
Hi.
- [03:09]
Candace Cameron Bure
Thanks for coming back.
- [03:11]
Unknown
I was running to get back here.
- [03:14]
Candace Cameron Bure
I'm so glad I realized we never told everyone last week how we met because we don't know each other super well.
- [03:22]
Unknown
No, but we're learning fast.
- [03:23]
Candace Cameron Bure
Yeah. I think we're going to be besties after speed dating.
- [03:26]
Unknown
Yes.
- [03:26]
Candace Cameron Bure
Yes, we are speed dating. Because this is getting. Yeah. Vulnerable quickly. Lot of. Lot of intimate information is going to be shared. But I think we met because I was on your podcast. Was I on once or twice? Do we remember?
- [03:42]
Unknown
I. I think you were only on once.
- [03:44]
Candace Cameron Bure
Okay.
- [03:45]
Unknown
But. But I remember I thought, she's someone I would love to be friends with. She's great. Yeah, you were great. And I really enjoyed the interview. It was a fun time. Yeah, it was.
- [03:55]
Candace Cameron Bure
It was a while ago, though, right?
- [03:57]
Unknown
It has been a while. That is true. It has been a while. And then when you DM me about the show, that's when we started connecting, obviously.
- [04:05]
Candace Cameron Bure
Well, a little before that. Because you sent me those really cool hats.
- [04:10]
Unknown
That's right.
- [04:11]
Candace Cameron Bure
And I love them. I actually think that one of your Bible studies you had sent, like, when someone has a new Bible study or a new book, they often send these gift boxes. Like, you see people open them all the time on Instagram and you're like, oh, because it's a way to share your new book. And so I think I got one from you. And when I opened it up, it had that cool hat in it, and it also had a coaster and it said, God knows.
- [04:39]
Unknown
Yes, that's right.
- [04:40]
Candace Cameron Bure
And I still have that coaster on my desk.
- [04:42]
Unknown
Yes.
- [04:43]
Candace Cameron Bure
I get a lot of gifts like that and I enjoy many of them, but then because a lot come in, they get kind of, you know, sent. I lovingly donate them or re gift them, but yours has stayed on my desk every day since I received it. And then I wear that ball cap that says God knows. You gave me some in a few different styles and colors.
- [05:10]
Unknown
Yeah, but that one stuck.
- [05:12]
Candace Cameron Bure
It stuck. And everyone. When I wear that thing, everyone looks at it, acknowledges it, reacts to it in some way. I feel like. And sometimes I forget I'm wearing it, so. And I wear it to the airport all the time. I'm always wearing a ball cap when I travel. And I wear my green, like the emerald green God knows how hat a lot. And so I can just see, like, people processing when they're reading my hat. And I forget. And I feel like you can read that phrase in very different ways.
- [05:49]
Unknown
Yes.
- [05:50]
Candace Cameron Bure
And so I feel like some people look at it and I see peace on their face. Like, God knows. God knows what I'm going through. God hears me. God sees me. God knows all the things. And then Sometimes I get faces where people are like, kind of look like, like, because they feel shame. Like, God knows what you did. God knows what you were thinking. God knows what you were watching. And so people feel like condemned by it. And they're like, why are you preaching at me with. And I'm like, what? I'm not. I'm.
- [06:22]
Unknown
It's honestly true. I had to. I had to think through that when we were. I was going to name the book. It's a book. God knows. I was going. When I was going to name the book, I had to process through that. Like, will people feel shame by this? Because for me, it was something that I needed so desperately to know for my. That God knew everything that was going on in the world because I'm a very justice driven person. So I was going crazy in my mind going, does God know about this? I need to make sure he does. So I had to really search the scripture and study the omniscience of God.
- [06:50]
Candace Cameron Bure
That's another way of like, does God know about this?
- [06:53]
Unknown
Yes. Like, I was. Because I wanted to set things right myself. That tells you a little bit about my personality, right? But I really wanted to handle things myself. So it was a. That was a point in my life, Candace, where I had to release things. And so the statement God knows to me is a reminder. God's got this and you need to. You need to rest in that statement. So that means a lot to me that you wear that. Because for me, it's a peace statement. It is, yes. Lisa, you need a reminder all the time. You need to wear it. I wear a bracelet because I need that reminder that God's got it. So I love seeing you in that hat. You look very cute in it. I can see why people are.
- [07:33]
Candace Cameron Bure
I. Yeah, I do. I love it. And I love it on my desk because I'm a woman of many drinks. I've always got my hot tea, I've got my cold water, water. I've got my hydrated water. I have whatever, all the things. And so that coaster, I look at it and it is a reminder of peace for me. Like, Candace, God knows, like, God's got it. God's gonna take care of it. It makes me feel really good to see that phrase. And I. I did have one specific person that had told a friend after I didn't know this person very well, but I went to the gym, I had that hat on, and I worked out with Kira and we had the session, I left. And then Kira called me that night and said, what you don't know is that there was another person in the gym that she knows very well. And he went up to her after and started crying, like, got really vulnerable. And he said, I'm going through so much stuff in my life right now, and I think some physical stuff that, you know, really, really hard. And he goes, then Candace walked in, and I saw that hat she had on, and it was like, God. God just saw me. And God just answered a prayer of knowing that he sees me and he knows what's going on in my life. And so Kira was like, I just wanted you to know how impactful that message was. So now I'm sharing that message with you because it came from you. But they are powerful words, and I love wearing that hat. Is that hat available? Can people buy it?
- [09:14]
Unknown
Yes, I think it is on my website. But now I'm like, I need to make sure it's on my website, because.
- [09:18]
Candace Cameron Bure
You'Re gonna have to get, like, more colors.
- [09:21]
Unknown
Yeah.
- [09:21]
Candace Cameron Bure
More. Yeah. More inventory on that. It's such a great hat. I love it. Well, today we're talking about our body, obviously, but more specifically, where it goes sideways, like, how we complicate things, why our bodies feel so complicated, why it's complicated, the way we see our body, all of that. So let's start unpacking. Where do you want to start?
- [09:46]
Unknown
Oh, my goodness. Well, I'll start maybe with the first time I was aware of my body. Oh, I know. You shared that on a show a couple seasons back. The first time that I was aware of my body in a really profound way was when I was about 9. But the funny thing is, Candace, I didn't really know about this or I didn't think about this, I'll say, until I was writing my Bible study, Body and Soul, and I had one of the most profound experiences that I've ever had in my life where, you know, it talks about in the Bible about God being the great counselor, the Holy Spirit being the great counselor. I have experienced this in a way that I hadn't experienced this. So I was in my office, I was writing the Bible study, and the Lord spoke to my heart. Not audibly, but just I had this sense, spoke to my heart and said, stop typing. And so I stopped typing. And he said, I'm going to show you the first time that you compartmentalized your body, kind of created this brokenness between body and soul and detached.
- [11:00]
Candace Cameron Bure
Okay.
- [11:01]
Unknown
And he showed me a picture and reminded me of the first time, really the only time I remember this ever happening, when I Was shown porn, and it was in the form of a magazine. And I was 9 years old and it was a neighbor girl and. And she was a friend of mine. I used to play with her all the time. And she asked me to come over to her house after school one day. So I went over to her house and she said, I want to show you something. And so I was excited. I thought she was going to show me something cool, you know, a new toy or a new, you know, shirt or whatever. And so I went upstairs with her. And when I went upstairs with her, she took me into her parents bedroom and she had a magazine laid out open and showed me pictures of a.
- [11:52]
Candace Cameron Bure
Man or a woman.
- [11:53]
Unknown
It was. They were together.
- [11:54]
Candace Cameron Bure
Okay.
- [11:55]
Unknown
And I had never seen anything like that before. I never knew anything like that before. And I was completely shocked. And it was in my mind, in that moment, I thought, oh, bodies do something. Like you can make them do something. And what was interesting, when I look back at that, I think before that time there was just not body awareness. Because when you are privileged enough to have never been. I mean, the way it should be, when you've never been violated physically, when you've never had your eyes violated, when you've never had any kind of trauma like that as a child, you are gloriously unaware of your body. Yeah, you just play. Yeah, you just run and play. I was a country girl. I went and played with kittens in the yard, chase frogs, you know, played in a tree fort. Yeah. And I just. I didn't think about my body. I didn't think about whether I was cute. Not cute. You know, I mean, I thought I was cute. You know, you just kind of think you are when you're a little girl. You know, I just put my jeans on. I didn't think about how my hair looked, none of that. I was very, very innocent. And it was at that moment there was this break. And I looked at my body very, very differently because I realized bodies perform. They do something, you can make them do something. And it was this awareness that I'd never had. And so I began to see my body differently. And the way compartmentalization, I think, played out for me then is make your body perform the way needed to make people respond to you, to make people love you, to make people see you. And so through the years, it was be pretty, be thin, be the thinnest in the room. We talked about that in the last show. Make your body look good. And so that really was that point. And I had never realized that before. And then as I like you, didn't.
- [14:16]
Candace Cameron Bure
Realize that that moment at 9 years old affected you.
- [14:19]
Unknown
Oh no.
- [14:20]
Candace Cameron Bure
Until God gave you that.
- [14:23]
Unknown
Literally until vision. I was writing the Bible study body and soul. Now I knew like I had written in another book prior about the PoR experience, but I didn't realize what it did to me. And that was not me going to therapy, actually. That was me going to the therapy with the Holy Spirit. I'm not kidding.
- [14:43]
Candace Cameron Bure
Got it. It's interesting because I too was exposed to, you know, a Playboy magazine when I was, yeah. I would say around the same age, probably eight or nine or something, and saw those kinds of pictures and yeah. Didn't realize I haven't thought about it much since. Although I very much can see the. Of that moment and I can see that woman that I saw in the magazine. I, I can, I can still see it in my mind of that first. I know the place and all of that, but I've never really thought about it since then, so. But like, fascinating because I didn't even think that could be a place that. That made me aware of my body in a different. A different capacity.
- [15:30]
Unknown
Right. Because I don't think we think about a lot of those kinds of things. You know, I mean, there are so many of us as women that have had experiences like that. I mean, I. At statistics on sexual abuse, According to the U.S. department of Health and Human Services, the Child Abuse Division, 1 in 3 girls, 1 in 10 boys under the age of 12 have been sexually abused. And stats are often still low because those go unreported. So many cases go unreported. So that's obviously a tangible physical touch. But even. What about the violations to the eyes, right. In violations in other ways. And so I, I mean, those still happen.
- [16:10]
Candace Cameron Bure
Today I turn on my Instagram and my DMS and like, it usually catches most of the, the yucky stuff, like the spam stuff that goes in, but every once in a while it doesn't. And I'll click on a dm and you know, I, I don't, I don't even want to say the words, but, you know, you know what kind of. I get a pick of a. A guy and just, Just, you know.
- [16:34]
Unknown
Yeah.
- [16:34]
Candace Cameron Bure
Just happy.
- [16:36]
Unknown
Yes.
- [16:37]
Candace Cameron Bure
I don't want to see it. I don't want to see it. It's so violating. I'm like, here, I'm thinking I'm gonna, you know, go, oh, cute dress. Oh, tell me about that Bible. Bible verse. And then like all of a sudden there's a picture of porn in my DMs that I'm like, it's. It's shocking how violating it feels because then I can't get that image out of my mind.
- [16:59]
Unknown
Yes. And I think we don't make the correlation. I wouldn't have made the correlation. I mean, really, literally, the Lord showed me this. There is a compartmentalization that happens when we, when we see things like this and when we look at our bodies in a certain way or look at bodies in a certain way, that affects us profoundly. And the way that it manifested for me even later in life is with work, because I began to treat my body like a literal workhorse. I wrote in a matter of three years, I wrote three books and three Bible studies. And I can remember. It's crazy, but I mean, I can remember sitting in my desk chair when I felt like my body was breaking down. And I can remember saying to my body, you will sit here and you will finish this project. And it does not matter how you feel right now. You have got to get this done because you have a deadline. You will, you will finish working.
- [18:04]
Candace Cameron Bure
Okay, but see, I can listen to that. And I go, yeah, but I'm the same way, right? Well, and I'm like, how is that bad?
- [18:09]
Unknown
Well, and here's the thing, and I have plenty of friends would say, well, you just love to work, because I do. I love to work. Well, the problem is when we look at our bodies like a workhorse and when we treat our body like a pack mule, we will pay the price. We're looking at our body like a project, like an object, like, I'm going to work harder in my body. That is not a glory mindset. That is not the way that we're supposed to be glorifying God in our bodies, because that is seeing them outside of our souls. Because what it does to us over time is profound. It is profound.
- [18:53]
Candace Cameron Bure
So is the, is the natural reaction to that. I mean, people listening. Are you going, oh, so that just means you need more you time. You need to go to the spa more. What does that look like?
- [19:06]
Unknown
Yeah, I think that, that the thought process is to go to another body topic, and that would be more. More of this sort of tangible thing that I can do. It's not that those things are wrong. It's not that we want it. A spa day might be great. What I'm saying to you is it's not going to create the freedom that you really, really want. You have to have an understanding of this theological underpinning, which is understanding that you were created to rely upon your creator. And a lot of the root of why we overwork is because we feel like we must. We feel like there's some. There's a scarcity in there of I've got to prove something. I've got to make sure that my worth and my value is in that. And so there's a lot at play there. And that's why when we skip the first step of the theology, the natural thought process goes to, well, let me just go on vacation. And vacations are awesome. But what happens when we are at the end of our vacation? We're always face this, this downer, right? Because we know we have to come back, so we got to plan the next one, right? And so your whole mindset begins to change when you understand what we're, what we're meant for, this glory mindset, what we're meant to glorify God in our bodies, that Christ came, embodied, crucified, so that we would be reliant upon him. I still love to work, Candace. There's nothing wrong with that. But I don't treat my body like that anymore. Not because I say, oh, well, now I know what I've got to do is I've got to take a break. I mean, I have some tangible things in place, sure, But I don't look at it like, because I'm so smart, I've created a system. I look at it because I love who God created me to be. And I am living with a glory mindset. So at all times, my whole Persona has changed, my whole life has changed. The way that I live has changed.
- [21:08]
Candace Cameron Bure
Okay, so how did you get to that point?
- [21:11]
Unknown
Well, I literally studied the scriptures. I'm telling you, this whole body theology, where I started in Genesis 1 and I studied and imago Day, which we're going to be talking about, and I understood that I was created in the image of God. I understood the radical incarnation, why Christ came and what I was really created for. And I understood that I wasn't created for the work, that in the way that I was doing it, that my idea of work as a human will be misled, it will be misinterpreted. So I've got to see it in light of does this bring glory to God? When I am sitting in my desk and I am breaking my body down, that doesn't bring glory to God. So anything that's in conflict with that question alone, does this bring glory to God, has to be changed and altered. So I have to do something different. And that Might mean I don't take on the same amount of projects. That might mean I alter the way that I, that I do work the way I know it. Yeah, well, a lot of people don't want to do that, but when your mindset changes with whole body theology, you will want to do it.
- [22:26]
Candace Cameron Bure
Yeah.
- [22:27]
Unknown
So your motivations, we're talking about motivations, your will, the way you see work will change, your mind will change. That's what I'm telling you.
- [22:38]
Candace Cameron Bure
So. Interesting.
- [22:38]
Unknown
Yes. So let me ask you a question.
- [22:41]
Candace Cameron Bure
Okay.
- [22:42]
Unknown
Because the, I call this the trifecta of body compartmentalization.
- [22:48]
Candace Cameron Bure
Okay.
- [22:49]
Unknown
What happens when we sort of break apart and we see our body outside of our soul? This is sort of like saying, this is my sex life over here. This is my exercise life over here. This is my eating life over here. Right. You see what I'm saying? This is my work life. So we're, this is different parts of us. We might not say it, but that's what we, that's how we treat it. Just like me when I'm in, when I'm in seminary and I'm have a diet of eating Skittles and Diet Coke, but I'm over here also Jesus loving seminary student. Right. I'm looking at them as two different parts of myself.
- [23:29]
Candace Cameron Bure
Right.
- [23:30]
Unknown
Not the whole of me.
- [23:31]
Candace Cameron Bure
Right.
- [23:31]
Unknown
Okay. So the trifecta is we treat our body like a project to be fixed, an object to be perfected, or a prop to be put on display and perform for others. Sometimes it's all of those. Which one of those resonates the most for you?
- [23:53]
Candace Cameron Bure
Okay. So sadly, all three of them, like all three of them together. But I would say probably an object to be fixed, one to be perfected. I, I, Jesus was perfection. I, I think my, I know enough theology to know that I'm never going to be perfect and my body's never going to be perfect.
- [24:18]
Unknown
But do you want to, do you want to be perfect?
- [24:21]
Candace Cameron Bure
Probably, yeah. But the object to be fixed. I'm like, Lisa, I'm, I'm in a project to continually work on my body right now from all different aspects. I mean, listen, we're having this conversation because I want to fix it from the heart and the soul and the mind.
- [24:38]
Unknown
Sure.
- [24:39]
Candace Cameron Bure
But I'm, I'm going to be 50 next year. I started last October on a new project working with specific people because I have really big goals that are purely physical goals. For my 50th birthday and we talked about that, I used a wedding as an example. But now it's my 50th birthday. And so a project to be fixed. And yet I, I, I, I really do. I'm, I'm at a place that I have such gratitude for my body. I'm not whipping it in the way that I used to, but do I, like, of course I compartmentalize. Like, that's very easy. But I'm like, I have new fitness goals, and that's what I'm working towards. Fitness goals for my 50th birthday. So if you're using those words like a project to be fixed. Yeah, I'm like, like fixing this up in the way that I've always wanted it to be. Or at least that's what my goal is.
- [25:36]
Unknown
Yeah. You know, it's interesting. I thought you would say because I guess this is cliche, but.
- [25:42]
Candace Cameron Bure
No, because I'm an actor.
- [25:43]
Unknown
I thought you would say because you're an actor, that you, it would be something to perform.
- [25:49]
Candace Cameron Bure
Right. Which is why I said I relate to all three of them.
- [25:53]
Unknown
Yeah.
- [25:55]
Candace Cameron Bure
But, but my most just like, mind, like, and heart place is a project to be fixed. That's really the source of it, where it's coming from. Yeah. And there it's such interesting questions. Like, I love that you even gave us those three options to think about, because I've never thought about it in that way. And, and really unraveling those types of concepts, like, how do I really view myself? What does my body mean to me? And sitting and taking some time to think, like, how am I viewing it? It's really helpful because I also know, okay, now if that's. I like these revelations because then I get to bring them to Jesus and go, God, is this how, like, I didn't even realize that I'm thinking of my body like this. So I just want to surrender that.
- [26:51]
Unknown
Yes, yes. And I want to say that, I mean, this is. Props to the Holy Spirit. This is not a Lisa Whittle idea. I'm not, I'm not that smart. I'm also, I am on this journey. I have been on this journey. That's why I have such gratitude for the Lord, because I have wanted so badly to be free. I have wanted so badly to experience that. And this is not a perfection journey. I need to say that this is a process journey, but it is also possible. And that is what I think I wanted to know. You know, it's not like having a body goal is bad. I need you to hear this. So that having a body goal is bad. It's not that having a fitness goal is Bad. But it is not the ultimate goal. And what I also want to say is it will only bring you an achievement of a goal.
- [27:52]
Candace Cameron Bure
Totally.
- [27:53]
Unknown
What it won't bring you is body freedom.
- [27:56]
Candace Cameron Bure
Absolutely.
- [27:57]
Unknown
And so that, I think, is where we get it mixed up. I think what happens is we say, when I get this size, when I achieve this fitness goal, when I, you know, no longer crave sugar, then, oh, that's that. See, that's the thing, by the way.
- [28:18]
Candace Cameron Bure
I don't think that's ever gonna happen for you.
- [28:20]
Unknown
I mean, you know, but I'm just.
- [28:21]
Candace Cameron Bure
Saying these are so true.
- [28:23]
Unknown
These are what we think.
- [28:24]
Candace Cameron Bure
And even, even, like, I know that with my goal in mind, there's a few things I actually want to address. I'll finish that thought. But I, but I do want to go back and state something because I feel like some people listening to this conversation and with me talking about it, because people wrote in on my Instagram, in my comments, that, and there were several people, there were a lot saying, candace, you're a thin person, you have an amazing body. How can you even be complaining? You don't know how it feels. You sound like a snobby, elitist, privileged actress when you have nothing to worry about when it comes to body. And that's the part where I'm like, you're wrong. Because I have all the feelings. No matter what my exterior looks like to you, I have the same feelings whether, whether I feel like I have five pounds to lose, no pounds to lose, or 100 pounds to lose. I'm like. And I think that's the, the hard thing for some people to separate, that they really don't like hearing from someone that they think are goals physically. Like so many of you, I have seasons where stress, low energy, and feeling off balance start to take a toll physically and emotionally. That's why it's important to find real, effective support for your health. I found it through Newethics, and it's making a huge difference in my life. Lately, I've been loving a few supplements from Newethics. I've been taking court ease every day for the last seven months. It's helped me manage stress in a healthy way and stay centered throughout the day. New D3 plus K2 supports my immune system and bone health, both things we want to stay on top of as we older. And they also make a great greens product called Gourmet Greens that tastes delicious because it doesn't taste like bitter greens. There's an espresso flavor, but I'm not a coffee drinker. So I got the berry blend and you can taste the blueberries, blackberries and raspberries. It's fruity, but it's not too sweet. It's packed with antioxidants and digestive support. New Ethics Greens are designed to promote natural energy and overall wellness. Taking care of my health is a top priority. I think you know that. I want to be proactive in finding supplements that support my body in a clean, honest way that I feel good about. And I know you do too. Visit newethics.com the link is in the show notes and don't forget to use my code Candice for a special discount at checkout. I don't know about you, but I love to colorfully mark up my Bible. And Mr. Pen is the company dedicated to creating pens and highlighters specifically to be used in your bible. How cute is this? The ink doesn't bleed through the page and there are so many color palettes to choose from paired with their other products like transparent sticky tape, sticky notes and tabs, and washi tape and you can create the perfect combinations to make studying Scripture an even more meaningful experience. With over 1 million 5 star reviews on Amazon, they are the most popular Bible highlighters and pens on the market. That's why I use them. Whether you're looking to deepen your faith through study and reflection or or simply need a reliable pen for taking notes During a sermon, Mr. Penn has you covered. To get 10 off your first Mr. Pen order, go to Candacepens.com Join me in diving into the Word in 2025. Go to Candicepens.com to get 10% off your Mr. Penn order. Close your eyes, exhale, feel your body relax and let go of whatever you're carrying today. Well, I'm letting go of the worry that I wouldn't get my new contacts in time for this class. I got them delivered free from 1-800-contacts. Oh my gosh, they're so fast.
- [32:41]
Unknown
And breathe.
- [32:42]
Candace Cameron Bure
Oh, sorry. I almost couldn't breathe when I saw the discount they gave me on my first order. Oh, sorry. Namaste.
- [32:49]
Unknown
Visit 1-800-contacts.com today to save on your first order. 1-800-contacts. Can I tell you a mistake I made a couple years ago? Yeah, I put up a meme. I thought it was funny on social media and it said good morning to everyone except for those who can eat whatever they want and not gain weight. I thought it was funny and I got an email from somebody and she said, I know you were just being clever, but she said, I've tried to gain weight my whole life, and I have this thing that I struggle with in my body. And I thought, you know, I need to remember that not everybody has my issue. And I just want to say, Candace, I appreciate you saying that because I think that we all carry so much stuff in here, that one of the things that really divides us is our assumptions about people.
- [33:42]
Candace Cameron Bure
Yeah.
- [33:43]
Unknown
We make assumptions about people that are bigger than us. We think, well, they just don't have discipline.
- [33:46]
Candace Cameron Bure
Yep.
- [33:47]
Unknown
Well, they just, they just eat whatever they want. We have no idea, we have no idea what they're carrying in their body. We don't know if they're in menopause. We don't know if they're, you know, have pcos. We don't know if. We don't know what they've been through. We don't know if they're in a terrible place of grief and they're holding grief in their body. We don't know if they're holding bitterness in their mind. We don't know. We don't know if someone is struggling with an illness that we know nothing about. And I, I think we need to drop this. This. Because we make so many assumptions about people. We have terrible prejudice against other people in their body journey. And it's time to stop that. So I just wanted to say that.
- [34:23]
Candace Cameron Bure
Yeah, no, thank you for sharing. And I did want to address it because as I, I, I want to share, and I'm going to share as openly as I possibly can. Like, I mean, I'm a, I'm a, I, I share probably too much, you know, with people. Like, sometimes my husband's like, yeah, you don't need to share. I really, I enjoy the connection with other women. And I, I, if I learn something, I want to share it with you. If you have something to teach me, I want to hear it from you. But when it comes to body, I've, I've heard more than enough times and that people have shamed me, saying, you don't understand and you're not relatable. And I just want to say, like, but you don't, you don't know what's going on with me. You don't know what's in my mind and what I see. And that goes for, like, other people. Just what you said. We never know where someone's at or what they're dealing with. And so just because someone might be your goal doesn't mean that they're not working through hardships in their own life and have other goals that's right. Okay, I, I said that. Now I want to go back to what we were talking about because I wanted to share. I know enough to know that I have some goals for my 50th birthday and I'll just, I'll just share them.
- [35:47]
Unknown
Yeah.
- [35:48]
Candace Cameron Bure
I've always wanted the body that I've wanted in the sense that I love a muscular physique.
- [35:55]
Unknown
Yeah.
- [35:56]
Candace Cameron Bure
My cousin. I, I. So the, the story when I became aware of my body is this cousin. This is the same cousin. Okay. We, we were on the playground, I think sixth grade. We went to the same school for a year. And I was wearing a sleeveless and I was so uncomfortable because I never wore sleeveless and I felt like my arms were fat and everyone was laughing at me. And so then my gorgeous, tall, thin, beautiful cousin comes over, skipping in the playground, and she's like, hi. And I punched her. I like punched her or pushed her because I was just angry because I was so self conscious. And I just took it out on her because I knew she wasn't gonna beat me up. It was my cousin. We were friends, but I was so aware of my body. Anyway, Megan is still like amazing and gorgeous and beautiful. And at one point in her life, she was a fitness model. Like full fitness, like athletic fitness model. So not quite bodybuilding. My aunt was a bodybuilder.
- [36:59]
Unknown
Wow.
- [36:59]
Candace Cameron Bure
And, and that was her mom. And so I've always loved that. Some people don't like that aesthetic. Some people. And we're not here to talk about what aesthetic you like or don't like. I like a muscular aesthetic.
- [37:13]
Unknown
Yeah.
- [37:13]
Candace Cameron Bure
And I thought for once in my life, I want to try to have it. I don't even want to maintain it. I'll probably hit it and then go, great. I did it just as, like, check off the box. I know this isn't going to change me from the inside out. It's not about a heart issue for me. It's not that I'm going to look better, feel better, and that God's going to make me whole because I hit these goals. This is just a bucket list that I, I've always wanted to see if I could achieve. And I was like, I'm going to be 50. It's kind of now or never. Like, let's go for this. I don't know if I can do this in less than a year. But anyway, this is what I've been trying to do. But I think it was important. What I wanted to share is that this particular goal for me is not Because I feel like if I get this muscular body, God will now complete my feelings about self love for my body. Like, no, no, that's not, it's not how it works. And that's what you're teaching us and sharing with us.
- [38:13]
Unknown
Yeah, this to me sounds like, like a goal of someone who would say I want to climb, you know, Everest.
- [38:22]
Candace Cameron Bure
Or do a marathon or do a.
- [38:23]
Unknown
Marathon or whatever a goal would be, a body goal would be. And you know, that is the kind of thing where I think those things are completely fine when we put them in that compartment when we know, okay, that is a body goal. This is a body topic. And that's all it is. That's all I'm talking about here. The problem, as I said before, is when we start thinking in our brains, this is going to represent what's going to make me free in my mind. That's gonna break chains that I've had for all this time. The problem I find though, Candace, is a lot of us are not self aware enough to, to have that distinction. And so I think where I would challenge people is to say, if you have not truly done a deep dive into scripture, and I don't talk, I don't mean talking about a verse here, a verse there, what you've heard, what you, you know, over the years, I'm talking about really do a theological study where you have a good foundation for why you make decisions the way that you do. Then I would start there, I would rewind and go back because that will make a difference in how you choose what you do in all of the body topics. And so I think that's really good to not have shame around what you're doing because there is is an importance there. I think what I hear you say is I've got the body goals over here. But I also recognize that there is this underlying thing that I've dealt with my whole life. And it's a both and it's not an either or to say that right. And that's powerful. So that's really good.
- [40:15]
Candace Cameron Bure
Have you ever treated your body like an opponent rather than an ally?
- [40:23]
Unknown
Oh my word. I mean, so many times it's like, I'll fix you at all costs. I relate to a project to be fixed as well. I mean, I relate to all of those as well. But that workhorse mentality that has been prevalent for me in the latter part of my life for sure. And I think before then it was always the presentation idea of what my body will look like. I was reading something that really struck me that actress Delta Burke said that while she was on Designing Women, she took meth to stay thin. Oh, wow. And that it was. It's documented because she. She went public with that. Wow. And I thought, isn't that something? Because if you remember that time, you remember how fat, shamed she was in public all the time. I mean, beautiful woman. Incredibly beautiful woman. And I thought, this is the mentality, though, that we have that would drive us to those places we can't. Like, we're sitting here going, I can't believe she would take meth to stay thin.
- [41:36]
Candace Cameron Bure
But, yeah, I can't even really compute, okay. To take meth and work.
- [41:41]
Unknown
But at the same time, what. What measures have we gone to. To say, you're a project. You need to be fixed, I will fix. I mean, an eating disorder is also the harm we have done to our systems. And. And. And now the way that I look at the decisions that I make, it's not that I have always a. A mind that doesn't say, oh, throw that up. I mean, you talked about that. But with my glory mentality of whatever you do, Lisa. Do all to the glory of God.
- [42:18]
Candace Cameron Bure
Yeah.
- [42:19]
Unknown
I cannot make myself do that anymore.
- [42:22]
Candace Cameron Bure
Yeah. Yeah.
- [42:23]
Unknown
Because I think my body is to bring glory to God. He came embodied for me. He came embodied. He went to the cross. He died so that I could rely on Him. And that means, yes, for eternal life, but also in my daily struggles, that means that the migraines that I experience that are very debilitating sometimes, sometimes it's not just like dying for me so that I can go to heaven, but it's also that I can rely upon him in those daily struggles. I still take medicine.
- [42:56]
Candace Cameron Bure
Right.
- [42:56]
Unknown
But I also say, God, I. I like, I need you.
- [43:01]
Candace Cameron Bure
Yeah.
- [43:01]
Unknown
It's also for those daily struggles in our body. We either believe that about the word of God or we don't believe that about the word of God and that he indwells me, and so he helps me with the decisions that I make every day. That has to be the predominant thing that drives all of the things that we do from there. And I can't perform in my body anymore. I can't. It's inconsistent with the glory mentality that I live and knowing about the glorious exchange that he made for me. And it changes things, Candace. It really does.
- [43:32]
Candace Cameron Bure
I know it does. It certainly does.
- [43:34]
Unknown
Yeah. So, you know, the way that we live inconsistently with that whole, you know, props, object, you know, performer. It's anti biblical. If you really want to get down to it. Because 1st Thessalonians 5. 23 says, May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of the Lord. That is about an inner work of sanctification. That's what it's about. And most of the time we're talking about what can I do to, like, fix my outside. So what, that I can make everybody else think that I look good. So that I can make everybody else prop me up and say, lisa, you're. You're really something. You're really thin. Lisa, you. You. You're really pretty. But what about the inner work of sanctification where that beauty on the inside, Candace, is. Is. Is being made whole? Because one day I'm going to get my glorified body.
- [44:32]
Candace Cameron Bure
Yeah.
- [44:32]
Unknown
One day I'm going to be perfected. I sure don't want to waste any more time down here going, gosh, I hope everybody in the room thinks I'm pretty. And, yeah, like, I want to be pretty. I want my. I want to look good, but I don't want to waste any more time. My whole body, soul and spirit, like, he did too much to come here for me, for me to waste any more time.
- [44:55]
Candace Cameron Bure
Yeah.
- [44:56]
Unknown
And that's really what whole body theology does to change your life.
- [44:59]
Candace Cameron Bure
It's so. It's so convicting. I mean, I'm. I'm stuffing my emotions back just listening to you say that, because I so, so desperately desire that, too. And I know so many people, if you're listening to this, you are, too. It's why you're listening to these conversations. But it. I know, I know that freedom and that hope, there's. There's still struggle for me, but there's so much more freedom in my life. And so a lot of my tears, they're. They're words that are soothing my soul right now, because I know. I know that freedom and it. It just humbles me. Yeah, it really does. It humbles me that, that, that, that God, you know, God. God wants us whole. He doesn't want us to waste this time. And I. I get sad for myself, too. I'm going, how many years did I just. Was caring about such particular things that just don't matter. They don't glorify God. They don't. They don't benefit anyone or anything. They don't add to my relationship with God or my purpose or my eternal life with Him. Like, and I think that's the reminder, too, is that it's not all perfect here. It's never going to be our Hope is heaven. That's the end. The eternal hope that we have. That's why Jesus gave his life for us, so that we can have this everything in our. In our eternal life with him. And yet we waste so much time on the things that don't really matter here. And it's so sad that so many of us mentally just hate ourselves.
- [46:53]
Unknown
Yes.
- [46:54]
Candace Cameron Bure
Because we don't like how we physically look, or we don't like how our body performs, or we have things about our body that. That just can't. That are just never going to be what we want them to be.
- [47:11]
Unknown
And I think. I think what's beautiful, Candace, is that we can know that we don't have to settle for the body cruelty anymore. Yeah, we don't. We don't have to. And when. When we really understand what is offered to us, that there is freedom in this. I think a lot of people don't know the hope. They don't know that. That. That there is any other way to live. And it's. It's a really isolating way to live. And it is a very narrow way to live. Just looking at our bodies as this one. Very, very shallow sort of. I'm just this. This person who walks around and sits in a chair and puts food in my mouth and here to serve you and here to, you know, here to make sure that I look good to you. And all of those things that would be the case if it weren't for the truth of what we know from scripture. But scripture is exactly. Tells us exactly who we are, tells us exactly what we're meant to do do and how we're meant to do it. And the only reason we don't realize is that, is because we've just skipped that step of learning what it is. And so it's. It's beautiful for us to go, okay, well, let me just go back. Let me start there, and then I'll live the rest of my life. And it's. It's not perfect, but it does change our mentality.
- [48:43]
Candace Cameron Bure
Oh, yeah. There's such a. There's such a freedom in our. In our mindset. And I. I'm just yet telling you guys again, I think it would really, really benefit if you got the. The Bible study body and soul and go get it now so that with every week, make that your goal in your Bible study right now so you can do the week's work and then come listen to the podcast where we're fleshing this out even more. But I think it would be so beneficial to do those side by side together?
- [49:16]
Unknown
Yeah, that'd be awesome.
- [49:17]
Candace Cameron Bure
Should we take a listener question?
- [49:19]
Unknown
Let's do it.
- [49:19]
Candace Cameron Bure
Okay. This one is from Barbara and we have a second one from Liv, and they're kind of similar.
- [49:26]
Unknown
Okay.
- [49:27]
Candace Cameron Bure
Barbara asks, I would love to hear a podcast on winning the overeating battle through Christ. And Liv asked, I would love if you could help a woman like me. That's that. That struggle with mental health things and use food to get through emotional times. When I'm feeling overwhelmed, I reach for chocolate. I'm working hard to overcome my past, go to habits and trying to turn to God instead. So same overarching theme from both of these questions. I relate to this so well because it's turning to something other than Christ to give you comfort or peace or. Or freedom in what feels like it at the moment. But the reality, it's never going to satisfy. It never will. I mean, that's why. That's how my eating disorder started. I felt so out of sorts when I got married to Val. And we. Not because we got married. I loved being married to him, but we had moved to Montreal where he was playing hockey and he was gone half of the. The half of the year in that the hockey season, you know, 40, 41 games are on the road, 41 are at home. And. And I would. Was so lonely. And the thing that was my best friend was food. And so that's when binging and purging really got out of control for me because I would just stuff myself with food and have like a date night with myself. But then I didn't want that to stay in my body so that I. And the cycle of binging and purging had developed and was awful. But I was using food as the emotional comfort tool and I wasn't. I. I would have called myself a Christian at that time in my life, but I did not have a strong relationship with God by any means. And what helped me is basically all the things that we're talking about. But. But I mean, it still took another 30 years to get to a different place in that is that. I mean, I realized I had to run to God and not turn to all these other outside things for my emotional comfort. And. But that's. That's what you guys are asking about, like, how do I turn to Christ? What are the steps? But even listening to this podcast, I think you're going to be hearing all the steps.
- [51:56]
Unknown
Yeah. Yeah. And you know, I want to be very clear. I don't come as a mental health expert I do not come as a nutritional expert. I don't come as a, you know, neuroscientist. I don't come as a fitness expert. I come as a Bible teacher. And as I said, science is informed, psychology is informed. All of it's informed by scripture. The scripture, the word of God, it lasts forever. It stands, it is the ultimate source. And so I will die on that message. Message. What I know for sure is that the body responds to the mind. The mind is the root of everything. And it says in scripture in Romans 12, 2, 2, that we are transformed by the renewal of our mind. That is going to be true forever and ever and ever. Amen. I know that. I mean, just even in the example in my own life of I wanted to, to run a half marathon and my, my husband's run in the New York City Marathon multiple times, I was going through a period of my, my life where I wanted to, to do that. It was a goal of mine, a body goal. And I remember I, I just had this mental block with it. And you know, when you're able bodied, they, they often say running is not about your physical ability, it is about your mental ability to push through to run. And so there was no reason I couldn't run. I just, just mentally had a block. I just didn't want to do it. And that was the reality of it. And so, you know, I, There are lots of things at play, you know, biochemically. A lot of times it, when we're going through things, trying to, especially if we're breaking from an addiction or whatever. So again, I don't come as a mental health expert, but what I will say is that when we are dealing with things that we want to change in our life, it often starts with, with habits that we need to address in our mind. And I think we need to know first of all that it is possible to be transformed.
- [54:01]
Candace Cameron Bure
So break, break this down because there's some. We have so many listeners and I love that they come to this podcast and they might just be developing a relationship with Christ. There's lots that have been walking with the Lord for a long time, but many that are saying, okay, okay, if I fight this by renewing my mind, what does that actually mean? How do I renew my mind and what am I renewing my mind with? Yes, and how do I know where to find those things? Cuz I don't want to just turn to some random podcast that's not giving godly or biblical wisdom.
- [54:37]
Unknown
So yes, there is a process. I'm glad you asked. 2nd Corinthians 10:5 talks about taking every thought captive and making it obedient to Christ. So taking every thought captive could be that a thought comes in. And many times we can't help a thought that comes in. Right. But we have that thought that comes in, and we can either refuse it or we accept it. So there's like you. You dwell on a thought or you deny the thought. So many times in my own life, when a thought has popped into my brain, and that can come from the enemy, that can come from Satan, a thought can come into your brain. I have allowed that thought continual access. I've thought about it too long. I have gone down this road, you know, I've let it linger. That thought comes into your brain, you immediately say, nope, that thought is not for me. I refuse that access. You have the ability to do that. So that is taking that thought captive. You can even picture yourself. Yourself capturing that thought and throwing it out. Yeah, I mean, I think those things are very powerful. This is according to the word of God, because dwelling on thoughts make us sick. They make us sick in our body, they make us sick in our minds. And then our body often responds to what our mind tells us to do. Right, so you say those thoughts don't have entry here. They can't live here. What is the glory thought? That's living with the glory mindset.
- [56:06]
Candace Cameron Bure
That's how you're renewing it. You're now finding the glory thought. You're taking a captive, throwing out the bad thought. Now let's fill it with what's right and tr.
- [56:14]
Unknown
True, which we know, according to Philippians 4. 8, says, finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, honest, just, pure, lovely, of good report. If there be any virtue, if there be any praise, think on these things. What's true. Now here's what's important about this, Candice. Knowing the word of God. So maybe you have a Bible and you can read it. What is, I think, even more powerful is memorizing scripture. Because for me, that's been a game changer. Yeah, sometimes you don't have a Bible in front of you. Yeah, but what if you're in the car and there's a thought that comes into your mind that you know is. Is a sick thought that you don't want in there. If you know the Bible, you can say, I know that God is for me. I know that. That God loves me. And you can quote a scripture that God has brought to the forefront of your mind. I know that. That he is with me. Me. I know that. That he fights for me. You could, you can, you can bring scriptures up. And so I really encourage people. And you don't have to make this hard.
- [57:19]
Candace Cameron Bure
Right.
- [57:20]
Unknown
Go to a short scripture, memorize a small portion of the scripture, whatever you need. You can go in the back and you can look at a. Look at an index there. And you can see a word that you need. What if you're fighting with fear? You can look up a fear, the word fear. And then you can look up words that. Verses that go with fear.
- [57:36]
Candace Cameron Bure
Yeah.
- [57:37]
Unknown
And you can memorize those scriptures. So that's really important to renew your mind in that way. That's process for you.
- [57:43]
Candace Cameron Bure
Yeah. Oh, I love that. Memorizing scripture has been a game changer. I'm still working on that. Everyone thinks I should be able to remember everything because I remember so many lines and like 15 pages a day on my. But it doesn't work that way. My short term memory is fantastic, but it all gets thrown out. So to keep things in my mind for a long time is harder for me. But I've loved that. I've been intentionally memorizing scripture and saying it, but also using it in my conversations.
- [58:15]
Unknown
Yes.
- [58:15]
Candace Cameron Bure
Which sometimes I feel like a broken record. Or if I'm around some of the same people, they're probably thinking, is that the only scripture she has memorized? Because she keeps saying that. Like the same two. Two verses. But I keep saying them because it keeps them fresh on my mind. And I'm still memorizing other ones. Ones they're just not quite there yet for me to pull them up out of anywhere. But I. It's just another practice I've been doing is to incorporate them in conversations. If I'm with girlfriends or if I'm speaking at an event and talking, I want to use the same scriptures because that repetition is helping me memorize them.
- [58:55]
Unknown
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [58:57]
Candace Cameron Bure
I love it. I love it. Okay, we have to come back next week.
- [59:00]
Unknown
Okay.
- [59:01]
Candace Cameron Bure
Okay. Now, before we go, don't forget, grab your free copy of the Whole Body guide. It's our gift to you to help you find healing and joy in your body. And head to Candice.com or click the link in today's show notes. You'll also find Lisa's Body and Soul Bible study book, which I highly suggest you go grab. Do it as you listen to these podcast episodes because that book has inspired this entire season. And if you have a question for us that you want answered in the future, visit Candice.com and let us know. Until next time. Be grateful all day every day. Candy Rock Entertainment all rights reserved.
- [59:50]
Lisa Whittle
Abercrombie Kids is bringing the ultimate first day energy back. It all starts with on trend outfits for that front door photo shoot. Plus the coolest tees, shorts and jeans to take them through the rest of the year. Get them ready for their close up and keep them comfy too. Make this grade their best one yet. Shop all things back to school in store online and in the app. This episode is brought to you by ebay. We all have that piece. The one that's so you. You've basically become known to for it. And if you don't yet fashionistas, you'll find it on ebay. That Miu Miu red leather bomber, the cousteau Barcelona cowboy top or that Patagonia fleece in the 2017 colorway. All these finds are all on ebay along with millions of more main character pieces backed by authenticity guarantee. Ebay is the place for pre loved and vintage fashion. Ebay things people love.