Your Body Is a Temple: This Bible Verse Isn’t About Shame. - Lisa Whittle

Summary

The Candace Cameron Bure Podcast

Episode: Your Body Is a Temple: This Bible Verse Isn’t About Shame – Lisa Whittle
Date: August 26, 2025
Guest: Lisa Whittle
Host: Candace Cameron Bure

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Overview

In this insightful and honest episode, Candace Cameron Bure and author/podcaster Lisa Whittle dive deep into the often-quoted Bible verse 1 Corinthians 6:19—“your body is a temple”—and how its meaning has been misunderstood and misused, particularly within Christian culture. The conversation explores how this scripture has been used to foster shame about bodies, how it has impacted women’s lives and spirituality, and what it truly means in its biblical context. Using personal stories, theological insights, and Q&A, Candace and Lisa encourage listeners to break free from shame and step into a fuller understanding of God’s love and presence.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Opening Connection & Icebreakers

• [03:48-09:39]
  • Candace and Lisa trade stories of awkward interviews and fun facts, including Lisa never having played solitaire (06:13) and Candace’s ability to recite all US presidents in order (08:54).
  • The warm, relatable banter establishes a tone of openness and authenticity.

The Real Meaning Behind “Your Body is a Temple”

• Misuse in Christian Culture

  • [09:44-13:39] Candace:
    • Candace and Lisa discuss how “your body is a temple” has been simplified to rules around modesty and behavior, often related to shame rather than spiritual value.
    • "It was always used negatively... pure, cover up, don't stumble others. It was such a thin definition." – Candace [13:39]
  • [10:04-13:29] Lisa:
    • Lisa notes, “This is the most quoted, the most misquoted, and the most misunderstood perhaps.” [10:04]
    • Most women in her body focus group reported the church taught nothing or only this verse, always in a negative, behavior-focused context.
    • “It was always in the context of behavior modification…” [12:32]

• Surface-Level vs. Deep Theology

  • [15:44-16:13] Candace & Lisa:
    • They reflect how growing up, the verse was about “don’t eat junk,” “keep fit,” avoiding shame—but never about the indwelling of the Holy Spirit.
    • “But it ended there. And that was the problem.” – Candace [16:09]
    • “We are not thinking about the glorious exchange, whole body theology. It’s because we don’t have the theological underpinning.” – Lisa [16:52]

• The True Context of the Verse

  • [17:52-21:42] Lisa:
    • Lisa issues a passionate warning about how quick, shame-based messages on social media damage young women’s view of themselves.
    • "This is a message to say God loves you so much that He is living inside of your body." [19:38]
    • The indwelling is a sacred privilege, not about “don’t show boobs”—it’s about God’s deep love and intimacy.

• Impact on Body Image & Sexuality

  • [23:04-25:00]
    • The discussion turns to how poor theology around the body undermines women’s confidence and even their marital intimacy.
    • Lisa: “If we’re not teaching this properly in the church, we have a whole lot of women who are getting married… keeping your temple pure until you’re married, and then all of a sudden [expected] to be free. How is that going to go?” [24:33]
    • Candace shares candidly: “Growing up all I heard was… don’t do anything promiscuous. And then once you’re married, you have a freedom… But what happens on that day… I’m supposed to feel good about it, right?... is God watching me right now? And is this embarrassing?” [27:53 & 29:18]
    • Lisa: “Sex is not shameful. Sex is beautiful. But if we don’t understand it… It has just eaten us alive. And we’re supposed to then be free and sexual and happy… there’s no way.” [33:01 & 34:04]

• Body Shame and The Call for Better Teaching

  • Lisa emphasizes, "This is not about working hard on our body to impress people, to please the church... This is about saying, He lives inside of me." [20:44]
  • Both agree that true healing requires understanding the depth of God’s indwelling presence—and likely professional, faith-based counseling for those dealing with wounds from shame-based messages.

Looking Ahead: Balanced Body Theology

• [36:25-36:43] Lisa:
  • Next episode will address how broader culture has responded with the “body positivity” movement—sometimes swinging to an opposite extreme.
  • "There’s two sides to this."

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “This was the most quoted, the most misquoted, and the most misunderstood perhaps.” – Lisa Whittle [10:04]
• “All I heard was, like, don't do anything promiscuous… don't let anybody touch you. And you can't do anything sexual until you're married. And then once you're married, you have a freedom in that you can do everything… What happens on that day is… I'm supposed to feel good about it, right? … is God watching me right now?” – Candace [27:53-29:18]
• “This is a message to say God loves you so much that He is living inside of your body.” – Lisa [19:38]
• “We house a king, and that changes the way that we operate.” – Lisa [36:09]
• “Sex is not shameful. Sex is beautiful. But if we don’t understand it… It has just eaten us alive. And we’re supposed to then be free and sexual and happy… there’s no way.” – Lisa [33:01 & 34:04]
• “Denying entrance for thoughts… and speaking life over ourselves rather than speaking death is very important. That's a practice of the Psalms.” – Lisa [43:09]

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Listener Q&A

On Spousal Porn Use and Shame

• [36:57-41:12] Listener: Becky
  • Becky asks how to avoid self-blame and listening to the enemy's lies when her husband has chosen porn for seven years.
  • Lisa: “This is your husband’s battle… there’s nothing you can do to increase his desire for you when the desire comes from an unhealthy place.” [38:13-39:09]
  • Candace: “It's just cheating... the feelings of rejection… are hard. But… it’s not about you. It's his battle.” [40:25]
  • Both hosts express empathy, prayer, and encourage seeking healing and support.

On Body Hatred and Postpartum Image

• [41:51-43:32] Listeners: Amy & Madeline
  • Advice: Remember you are made in God's image—a dearly loved image-bearer—and “speaking life over ourselves rather than speaking death is very important.”
  • “Any chain can be broken by the power of the Holy Spirit.” – Lisa [43:32]

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Important Segment Timestamps

• [03:48] – Beginning of main content, guest introductions, fun facts
• [09:44] – Start of the “body is a temple” discussion
• [13:39] – Candace describes surface-level interpretation and body image struggles
• [16:52] – Lisa explains lack of theological understanding about the body
• [19:38] – Lisa reframes the verse as about God’s love and presence, not shame
• [23:04] – Discussion on how poor teaching impacts intimacy and marriage
• [27:53] – Candace's honest reflection on shame and marital intimacy
• [36:57] – Listener question: struggling with husband’s porn use and feelings of rejection
• [41:51] – Final Q&A on self-hatred and negative body image postpartum
• [43:32] – Strong closing note on hope and breaking cycles with God’s power

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Tone & Takeaway

The episode’s tone is heartfelt, vulnerable, and faith-centered. Candace and Lisa empathetically challenge shame-based teachings and encourage listeners to seek a deeper spiritual foundation for understanding their own worth and bodies. Their candid storytelling, theological clarity, and practical wisdom make this a healing conversation for anyone grappling with body image, shame, or religious confusion about their value.

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Resources Mentioned

• Lisa Whittle’s “Body & Soul” Bible study book
• “The Whole Body Guide” (free resource at candace.com)
• Encouragement to seek faith-based therapy for deeper healing

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For more nuanced exploration, tune into the next episode, where Candace and Lisa discuss the “body positivity” movement and what it gets right—and wrong.

Transcript

[A]

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[A]

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[A]

Life is like a roller coaster, but it's better when we go through it together. Welcome to the Candace Cameron Bury Podcast. We're here to share honest conversations about life's challenges, celebrations, and everything in between. In this episode, Lisa and I are talking about shame, faith, and the meaning behind your body is a Temple on YouTube. Please click below to subscribe, then tap the bell so you'll never miss an episode. Come join us. Hi, Lisa.

[C]

Hi.

[A]

I'm so excited about our episode today. I've been waiting to get to this one. We're talking about your body is a temple.

[C]

I cannot wait.

[A]

Yes. Yeah, there's. Oh, there's so much to unpack there. But first, we were talking about. Because you have a podcast. I obviously have a podcast. And you get interviewed on them. And, you know, I. I do. I do interviews. I mean, my whole life I've been interviewed. And so you get asked random questions, and I. You. We were agreeing and that you said you feel like you're the worst at, like, the worst, you know, questions on the spot. And I do, too. I'm like, I don't. I don't know. So what did you start doing?

[C]

I'm telling you, Candace, I am literally the worst at this. I am the worst at answering obscure questions that someone will ask me, and I'll freeze. So I literally started a. On my note, in my notes app, on my phone, a. A list of all of these random facts about me so that I. When someone asked me, like, tell me some, you know, random thing about you, that I would come up with something, because I can never think of a.

[A]

Single thing that's such a good idea, though. I want to do that. So then you can kind of review the list. And you're like, okay, I have an answer.

[C]

I have a random thing. So this is really funny. I had this group of women that I was meeting with for about a year. We were kind of in this, like, a small group of Covenant community. And so we had gone on this trip together to sort of end our year and, you know, hang out and just talk about what the year meant. And so we decided we were gonna play some games together. And I love games. I love Playing I do too. Games with friends. Okay.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Okay. We'll have to do that sometime.

[D]

Okay.

[C]

Ye. So we were gonna play a game one of the nights. And so one of the girls picked a game that involved some element of solitaire.

[D]

Okay.

[C]

Okay. I'm sure people know what this game is, but I can't remember the name of the game.

[D]

Okay.

[C]

Okay. Well, when we went to go do it, I said, I don't know how to play solitaire. And everyone went, what? I said, I have never played a game of solitaire.

[A]

Really?

[C]

And so they were all like, this is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. And razzed me so bad the whole time. They're like, lisa can't play solitaire. I felt like that person that, like, is on the bus where everyone's laughing. They're like, lisa can't play solitaire. You know? And so. But I immediately went and put it on my list. I was like, this is gonna be my fun fact about me.

[A]

That's gonna be. Have you ever played that game Two truths and a lie? Yeah, like that.

[C]

That's going on there.

[A]

That's going on there.

[C]

Yeah. So it was the funniest thing.

[A]

But now you can never learn how to play soccer.

[C]

I've got to keep it on my list. So I was like, yeah, I don't know how to play solitaire. I've never played it in my life. They're like, who hasn't played solitaire? I said, me, me. I've never played solitaire.

[A]

Am I crazy? That is crazy.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Not even like old school computers back in the 80s because that was like the only game that was.

[C]

That's what they all said.

[A]

A computer.

[C]

I know. I don't. What was I doing during that time? I was not playing solitaire. That's what I'll tell you. I was not doing.

[A]

Yes, I love car.

[C]

Fun facts.

[A]

Yeah, Fun fact. Well, thanks for sharing that. Do you have any hidden talents? Here's my random question for you on the spot. So pull from your. What. What is a hidden talent?

[C]

Is. Is overthinking a hidden talent? I have that. What people may not know about me is I play the piano. Oh, so maybe that's a hidden talent. I also can remember random.

[A]

I took piano lessons when I was five. I don't play well, but I just need to connect with. That's right.

[C]

We have to have more things. I. I can remember random numbers, which I'm terrible at math, so that makes no sense. Just like phone numbers. Like, what's the phone Number of, You know, I can do that. And I also am good at guessing, like, amounts of things. Like, I used to play a game when I would do grocery store. No, no, no. I should do that.

[A]

You should do.

[C]

Oh, my gosh.

[A]

You mean like how many jelly beans are in a jar? Like a baby shower?

[C]

I'm not good at that necessarily.

[A]

Okay, what kind of things?

[C]

Like, I would go to the grocery store, and I don't know when. If my husband and I were ever shopping together, which I'm trying to think of when that would be, but he would be like, how much do this is going to be? And I'd be like, it's going to be $128.54. And it would literally be like, $129. He's like, what? And I could randomly always guess it so close now, probably not now, because food prices, but you know what I mean, it was, I was, I'm just good at, like, estimating things. Like that makes no sense because I'm terrible with math.

[A]

I know, but that's a good, that's.

[C]

A different skill set, I feel.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I like it.

[C]

What about you? Do you have hidden talents?

[A]

No, not really. I don't think all your talents are known, which I feel like it.

[C]

No.

[A]

Shared everything.

[C]

There's probably something.

[A]

It's like I have to pull out a party trick. I, I, I mean, this is like, I memorized this in, you know, seventh grade. But, like, I can name you all the presidents in order. Like, that's my party trick. But it's just memorization. That's all it is.

[C]

Yeah, but that's pretty good. But I would probably have five. I know. And terrible. Yeah. And weren't there a couple that had the same last name? I could tell you Adams and Adams. No.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

And Cleveland. And Cleveland served two terms, kind of like Trump. Like that. That's exactly. He was the only other president that served two inconsecutive terms.

[C]

That's right. Okay.

[A]

Yeah. Gosh, look at me with my history.

[C]

That's actually kind of smart. I feel like I'm in the room of greatness right now.

[A]

Okay, let's, let's talk. Let's, let's get back to where what we're really here for.

[C]

Okay, great.

[A]

Our bodies are a temple. How often do you think that has been misused?

[C]

My.

[A]

In the church, like, in conversation, do people just, they grab onto that scripture and they're. And use it just to shame people? Like your body's a temple?

[C]

Yes. I mean, the short answer. Yes. Period. This was interesting because when I went to. Right. Body and soul, I was both sort of terrified to look into this and excited. I had both emotions because this is the Most famous scripture. First Corinthians 6:9. First Corinthians 6:19. Sorry about the body. This is the most quoted, the most misquoted, and the most misunderstood perhaps. And so I was anxious to look into it, but I also felt a real heavy responsibility with it.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

What. What did the church. Because I use. I use that like, what did the church teach you about your body growing up, Candace?

[C]

I don't know that I can recall a single thing that the church taught me about it. And I don't say that to shame the church, because I love the church. I'm a big church girl. It was my whole life growing up. I love the church, but I also love the church enough to tell the truth, because I have such deep roots there. I think it's real important that we talk candidly about this. I don't remember being taught anything about the church from the church about my body. Maybe we had a sex talk in you in youth group. Probably we did. I think maybe we did, but we didn't have many, and I'm not sure what they would have consisted of. I think there were modesty conversations. Perhaps I wasn't really in the purity culture. That was a little. A little beyond.

[A]

It just started for me. So I definitely had. I was in the purity culture culture, for sure.

[C]

Yeah. Because you're a few years younger than me. So I think. I think that started. It was. Right. Right. Probably when I was entering college. Maybe. I don't know. But this. What was interesting about this is that I asked. I have a body focus group that has really been with me through the writing process, and I asked this question, whether the church teach you about your body. And there's about 2,000 women in it, and they predominantly. I mean, almost. Almost all of them said nothing. If they answered that the church had taught them anything about their body, it was that they taught them this verse in First Corinthians 6:19. In the context of your body's a temple, don't shame the temple. And really don't shame us with your temple. Like, don't. Don't bring shame on the church with your temple. Don't bring shame on your parents with the temple. Don't embarrass the temple. So it was always in the context of behavior modification, and it usually was something to do with, you know, dressing inappropriately or conducting yourself poorly or Whatever the case was. So it was kind of always in this negative light that this verse was brought in. And so that just is a very heavy thing for someone to be taught about. Such an absolutely gorgeous verse.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

So what about you? What were you taught that. What have you. What, what, what did you think of when you thought about that verse? My body is a temple.

[A]

Yeah, I think in, in my younger years it was. Yeah, don't. Don't. Very much about modesty and very much about purity is what I would associate that verse with. Your body's a holy temple. So don't have sex before you're married and make sure that you're covered up enough so that you're not causing another man or a person to sin and stumble over looking at you, because your body's a temple. And so it was always used negatively. And then, you know, when. When my relationship with God got very real and right. In my 20s and then growing into my 30s, I mean, I wrote a book called Balancing It All. It's. The book's probably 10 or more years old now. There's probably things in there I would change because we all keep growing and learning. But, you know, I did have that book. I'm sorry, it was reshaping it all. And I, of course, had that, that verse in that book, reshaping it all because that's where I shared about my. My history with bulim body image and running to food for comfort rather than God. But still, even I use that verse in the context of like, my body is a holy temple. Why would I feed it garbage? Why would I not eat good foods? For me, why don't I exercise? Because I need to keep my body strong and fit and healthy. Because my body's a body of the temple. I never had the connection at those ages that the Holy Spirit dwells inside of me. Like, that's the temple part. And I'm sure you're going to expand on even much more of the temple, which you've talked about in past weeks, but it was such a thin definition for me of what. What the temple was even within my Christian walk. And so that's why I just love that you're going to break this down even more for us and what I know to be the real depths of it today.

[C]

Yeah, I'm so glad that, that you expressed it like that, because I do think what you're saying about my body as a temple. Why would I put garbage into it? I'm not against that idea.

[A]

I'm not either.

[C]

Yeah, I'm not against that idea, but it just.

[A]

But. But it ended there.

[C]

Right.

[A]

And that was the problem.

[C]

And I think I. I think there's that. I think it's. It's that because I. Let's, let's. Let's dwell on that part for a minute, because I think. I think what happens is we rattle this verse off and we think in terms of, you know, my body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, and I don't want to put bad things into it, and so I just need to eat better, and that's really where it ends. I also think that then there's the modesty piece of, like, my body's a holy. My body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, so I shouldn't dress inappropriately, so let me not show my boobs.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

I mean, I'm. Yeah, right. And that's where it ends. So I'm going to wear shirts that don't show cleavage. Yep, that's where it ends. And so these things are siloed off. And again, this is kind of a compartmentalization idea. So we're just looking at the way I dress, you know, the way that I show up in church, the way that I eat. And we are not thinking about the glorious exchange, whole body theology. It's because we don't have the theological underpinning. So we're just making it about body topics. And if you go back to the. The first show where we talk about the sticky notes, we've got this verse, sticky noted on our mirror. Great verse, amazing verse. We just don't have the full picture. Yeah, we don't have it in context. We don't understand what the temple really means and the beauty of it. The problem I have with just stopping at your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit. Don't put garbage into it. Is these messages when they go out, say, a preacher on social media. And I just saw this happen. This is why. This is really tender for me, because I saw a preacher actually preaching that, and he was really passionate and very dogmatic, and he was kind of pacing back and forth on a stage, and I think he even had. He had, like, garbage. He was like, kicking garbage around. And he was like, your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit. You know, don't put. Why would you put this garbage into your body? It was. And it was. It was just a lot.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

And I just sat there and I thought, all right, there's young women that. That come across this, or there's young women sitting in that audience, and if they Hear this message. And what they need so desperately is to understand the great love of God for them, that he loves their body, that he created their body good. That they are made imago DEI in His image and that he wants to come to live and indwell inside of them. Because if you understand the temple indwelling, if you understand in the Old Testament, and I outline all of this in body and soul, what the temple meant, what the indwelling of the Holy Spirit meant, if you really understand that the preciousness of that visitation of the Holy Spirit and now that we have this privilege that he lives inside of us, we are the temple, it will blow your mind. This is not a message to huff around on a stage and kick garbage around with.

[D]

Right.

[C]

This is a message to say God loves you so much that he is living inside of your body.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

That instead of saying, you know, this is a temple of the Holy Spirit, so you probably don't want to show your boobs. I mean, that's not what the church is saying, but that, that's the message we got was just don't embarrass your temple. Just don't wear mini skirts that you know are going to show too much of your thigh.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

What are we saying to young women who maybe have had an abortion or maybe have been sexually abused or maybe have had traumas to their body? I want them to know this verse in the full picture of what it is so that they will say, oh my word, I want him to indwell inside of me so that I am motivated in a different way to love my body and live in my body differently. Because remember, this is not about working hard on our body to impress people, to please the church. No, that. Forget that.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

This is about saying, he lives inside of me. And so I have a glory mindset. I live differently. I want to live differently in my body. Because, you know, it's really easy to look at somebody and just say, oh, they're dressing a certain way because they want attention. That is such a narrow way of looking at things. And so I just have, I just take real issue with quick quips on social media and even, you know, using this as an illustrated piece to say, you know, you should do better. I've seen other messages on social media from I'm sure, well meaning pastors that have said, like, your body is a temple. You, you know, you really should watch how you dress. Listen, there is a real element and a real tie that creates body shame in that. And if women suffer from anything, it's body Shame.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

And Satan just runs amok with that.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

And the. Your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit is a beautiful verse. It is not a shaming verse.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

It's so true. And to me it is. It is used most often in the most shameful ways.

[B]

Every.

[A]

Every way I think about just feels so shameful. And I. I wish I knew way earlier what it actually means to the depth of. Of God residing inside of my body and that it. It just like doesn't have to do because again, my mindset was always about using it to the benefit of. That's my motivation for staying in shape. That's my motivation for making good choices. That's my motivation for the clothes I choose to wear is because it's just such a surface level theology that I've had for so many years. But what you're sharing with us is exactly what I understand now. But like, how do we. How do pe. How do people grab. Grasp the depths of how meaningful and beautiful this verse is?

[C]

Well, I think you have to understand the context of the temple. I mean, you have to really go back to the Old Testament and you have to really understand what the temple was.

[A]

And like the holiest of holies going. You're going through. I mean, the detail as to how the temple.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Was built.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Is unbelievable.

[C]

Right. And the fact that now we are the temple is. That's. That is such a place of intimacy that we have the Holy Spirit, who now is our comforter, is our compass, is indwelling us. It's mind blowing. And it is a tender relationship that we have to grab onto because that whole process of the Old Testament temple was such a special place that the Holy Spirit would dwell. And so if you don't understand that, of course you would just look at this verse in a very myopic way. And so that's why it's very important to go through that whole entire process. What I think is at stake is very important to look at too, because, Candace, one of the things that I think this has done for us is affected our relationships even with our spouses as we've gotten married, so even like our sexual relationships with our husbands.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Again, I'm not blaming the church, but if we're not teaching this properly in the church, in the faith culture, then what's happening is we have a whole lot of women who are getting married. And you know how this story goes? It is keep your temple pure until the night you get married, and then all of a sudden you just be as free as you want to be and do all the things that you're. How is that going to go?

[A]

Listen, yeah, I'll tell you how it how it went, right?

[C]

I mean. Testify.

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[D]

It.

[A]

It really was so crazy to me and I I can hear my Mom's voice. And I. I mean, I love her. I mean, of course, I taught this to my children in a different way because I. We. We talked a lot more about it and went into reasoning. But growing up, all I heard was, like, don't do anything promiscuous. Don't. I mean, like, kissing was the maximum thing, but don't let anybody touch you. And you can't do anything sexual until you're married. And then once you're married, you have a freedom in that you can do everything you want to do. But what happens on that day is, I'm going to. Okay, you're seeing me naked now, and I'm supposed to do what? And I'm looking at what? And we're doing what? And I'm just supposed to feel good about it, right? When, like, I've never done any of this before.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And so I've been taught to hide my body from men and all of a sudden go, okay, here I am. Here I am.

[C]

Let's do whatever.

[A]

Hair flowing with the silk, satin pillowcases. And I'm just like, no, it doesn't work that way. It's a whole lot of, wow, someone's really looking at me in detail. And, I mean, I can't, I think, more than a couple of years of my marriage. And I got married at 20 years old.

[C]

That's young, by the way.

[A]

And I know. I know, right?

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

So I know. I look at my kids now, and I'm like, whoa, I met ballot 18 and married at 20. But it's like, I mean, not to be TMI, but how many times was I in bed thinking, like, being intimate with Val? And my thought was, is God watching me right now? And is this embarrassing? Like, is this. I don't know how to feel about this. I'm supposed to be enjoying this, but this just feels weird because. Because I was just taught to hide everything, right? And then I'm going, but God says this is okay. But I couldn't. It took a long time to just feel comfortable in my body and with my husband. And I just kept thinking God was looking at me and watching me. And that in itself was just shameful.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

And it was weird. And then I'm like, I don't want to be thinking about God when I'm having sex with my husband, because, like, why am I thinking about him? I want to be enjoying.

[C]

Kill a vibe. I will say that. Just kill a vibe right there.

[A]

Killer. But, oh, my gosh, I. I think I thought about God every time I was having sex because it was like a shame culture of hiding. But now I'm exposed. I thought of Adam and Eve in the garden, and it's just, it was such a juxtapos, juxtaposition in my mind that I'm like, how do I reconcile this? And I don't think the church or my mom and dad, God bless you, I love you. But, like, did a very good job of explaining that.

[C]

No, no, because let's be honest, our mothers didn't learn a whole body theology. No, that was none of that. And, you know, and I think the church in, in tall order, they, they did not really want to. And this is, this is, this is a problem. This has been a problem. The church has often not wanted to talk about things in the way that we have needed the church to talk about things. I, I believe that's changing. I want that to change.

[A]

We must talk about people like you are changing it.

[C]

I, I, I want us to talk about it. We have to.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Because this is, this, this is the health of the body of Christ, Candace. I mean, sex is not shameful. Sex is beautiful. But if we don't understand it, we talk about teaching our daughters.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Like, I mean, honestly, I, I completely misfired the whole sexual conversation with my daughter. I mean, I think I probably scarred her for life. Probably scarred me for life. It was a whole thing I remember. What I do remember about it is she, we had a dog at the time. This dog has now gone to doggy heaven. But she, I remember the whole time I was talking to her, she held the dog up in front of her face because she just didn't want to look at me. It was painful because my thought process was. I don't remember having, like, I know my mom tried to talk to me about it, but I, I did not want to talk about it with my mother. Yeah, so she did try. But I think my approach was, I'm just gonna tell her the straight facts because I'm a very blunt person. So I was like, I don't need a book. I don't need that. I'm just tell her the facts. I'm gonna talk about the terms. I'm gonna, just gonna say it. Well, I'm sure.

[A]

And how old was she when you talked about it?

[C]

Oh, gosh, I don't remember. Honestly, Candace, I think she was probably, like, maybe 11, which is probably too, too old.

[A]

Okay. So things that she's probably never, never thought about or heard of yet. And mama's just like, right.

[C]

And I, my Delivery can be kind of rough. I mean, I, I, I can be a little rough around the edges. And so I'm sure I was telling her terms and telling her things, and she's thinking, oh, no, like, But I'm just thinking, we just got to talk about this, sis. Let's just, just, just, just put it out there. I'm sure I flubbed the whole conversation. What did I know? I mean, I have not always been healthy in this, struggled myself with this. Everything you're saying, I completely relate to because all of a sudden, we're just supposed to be free. I'm also dealing with my own body issues, my own relationship issues, the traumas I've already talked about on this show. You add those to the mix. You mix that all around. That is combustible.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

So I'm dealing with all this stuff.

[A]

Which is then why, like, sex and marriage get such a bad rap, right? It's like, oh, well, it just ends once you get married.

[C]

Right? I mean, the whole thing is.

[A]

Yeah. Because especially within the church, I'm like, well, we have, we, we need a transition period time, because you told us to hide it. Now we're supposed to. And I'm like, it all kind of just blows up in our face.

[C]

I mean, honestly, we all need sex therapy before we get married. We do. We do. Because this is really, really a difficult issue for those of us who have wanted to do it, right, wanted to stay pure, or maybe we have had sex and wanted to be pure when we, when met the, you know, the per, the right person that we marry. And so it's all very, very difficult. But the point being, when we have had this verse not understood and we have really heard it throughout our life, whether it was overt, whether it was covert, whether it was just sort of, you know, suggested to us, don't embarrass your temple. Don't embarrass us with your temple. You know, don't dress a certain way. Make sure you stay pure. Make sure you, you know, don't show too much, you know, all those things. It has just eaten us alive. And we're supposed to be then free and be sexual and be happy and all this stuff. There's no way, there's no way our minds are messed up with this. And so I think it's hugely important that we understand the way that this has brought about body shame. And so the church has not covered this. Well, now we'll talk about in. But the next show the other side of this conversation about your body as a Temple where culture has picked up and gone too far the other way into this body positivity movement. But it has to be understood in order for us to really go forward to where we understand it's not about behavior modification. It is about this love relationship and the indwelling of the Holy Spirit. Who cared enough to make us the temple where he would reside. We house a king, and that changes the way that we operate. And so does it undo all of the things that we've been through? No. We might need to go see someone to help us process through some of this in a, I believe, faith based therapeutic situation to work through some of maybe the sexual issues that we've been through. That's just one area. Right. That we're talking about this. Since we're talking about this.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

But it does start with understanding what the temple really meant. And so that. That is where whole body theology comes in. Yeah. So super important.

[A]

Yeah. This is so good. And then we're gonna. We're gonna touch next week on the other half of.

[C]

Yes. What that means, because what the church fails to cover, culture often picks up and takes it to another degree. That is also not healthy. So there's a two. There's two sides to this.

[A]

Okay, great. Ah, so good. So good. We are gonna go to a listener question. This is from Becky. Oh, and this is a big one. She says, I sure hope and pray that you see my question. Well, here we are.

[B]

Your prayers are answered.

[A]

Becky. How do I navigate not talking myself down and allowing the enemy to tell me that I'm not good enough? When my husband chooses porn over sex with me? I know who Christ made me to be, is who I am, and I see my value through his eyes. But it's so hard going through this. We're on year seven of him having no interest in me.

[C]

Wow. That's a long time.

[A]

I'm so sorry.

[C]

That's a long time.

[D]

I'm sorry, too.

[C]

My first thought. If I could just say something. Candace. Becky, I just want you to know that, first of all, we're tender to this with you and really holding space with you and. And I'm going to pray for you tonight, by the way. This is your husband's battle. It's your battle too, because you're fighting it with him. I understand that. But I want you to know that this is not. This is not you. This is something that he is fighting in his own soul. And I think it's really important. I know it's hard not to take it personally. I hear That I do hear that. Because the rejection is real.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

He's, he's rejecting you. So that feels so deeply personal. It is personal. So I'm not, I'm not downplaying that, but I need you to hear from someone who doesn't know you, doesn't know your husband. And I'm so, I'm certainly not saying this to try to pump you up. I want you to know that this is your husband's issue, that the porn issue is his issue, and that you could be prettier, thinner, smarter, all of the things you could work the whole world over. You could have every procedure in the world done. You could be the most, Whatever.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

And it would never be enough.

[D]

Right.

[C]

Because it's a hole that he's got to fill.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

That is lives outside of anything about you.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

And so, you know, there's nothing you can do to increase his desire for you when the desire comes from an unhealthy place.

[D]

Right.

[C]

And again, I'm not a psychologist. I'm, you know, I'm speaking from the knowledge of what happens, even just biblically speaking, to a heart that is sick, a mind that is sick, a person that has not been given over to, you know, the Lord when their desires go, you know, awry. And that can happen to any of us when we, when we don't bring them under the surrender of the Holy Spirit. So I don't know if he's a believer, I don't know if he's not a believer, but I know that even when we're a believer, we can struggle with addictive things like this. And so he certainly is going to have to get well. And seven years is a long time to, to struggle in this. And so I don't know whether he doesn't want to get well or he does, maybe he's tried. We don't know a lot of that information, but he certainly needs to have movement with this because this is taking a toll on you. It's taken toll on her. So.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I mean, it's so hard in my mind. It's just cheating. It's just within. Even though it may not be a person that they're physically with, but they're physically, they're watching and mentally with other people. And that's just, that's a hard burden to bear and the feelings of rejection that go with that, with it. And I, yeah, I don't, honestly, Becky, I, I don't know what offer to advice off, what advice to offer in that. I, I, I just want to remind you not to allow the enemy to whisper things about it being you, because it's not. It's his battle.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And I really do hope and pray that he will find help and get the help to. That will set him free from that addiction. But we'll be in prayer for you. Yes, thanks for sharing your question with us. I'm gonna go to one more question. One's from Amy, one's from Madeline. How do I learn to stop hating myself and my body? And do you have any advice for moms dealing with negative body image thoughts postpartum?

[C]

I think, you know, remembering that. That you are also created in the image of God. And hating an image bearer is. It's not biblical and it's not your portion in life. Like, you know, you wouldn't. You wouldn't hate. I'm sure that this person is a loving, wonderful person. They wouldn't hate someone else. They would say, oh, never going to hate that person. But you would hate yourself. And you are dearly loved by God in the same exact way. Some of those habits are hard to break, but it's very important. David spoke to his own soul in the Psalms over and over, and I think those habits are important to put in place. You know, a lot of times the reason why we continue to hate our bodies or hate something about ourselves is because we continue to speak negatively about them. You talked about that on a show. And I think when we dwell on things, we also talked about that dwelling on things, allowing negative thoughts to continue to have entry in our mind and thinking, letting it go down the road, that's a way to keep loathing things about ourselves. Because we replay tapes in our head.

[D]

Right.

[C]

So denying entrance for thoughts.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

And speaking life over ourselves rather than speaking death is very important. That's a practice of the Psalms. And I think that's very, very important in just a couple practical ways to stop hating ourselves. But any chain can be broken by the power of the Holy Spirit. And so I just believe that can happen for any of us, even as long as we've had habits.

[D]

Yep.

[A]

I do too. Thanks for sharing. It was. That's great advice. I have nothing to add because it was so good. Well, come back, please, next week. There is more where this came from. And go grab the Whole body [e-mail] it's our free gift to support your faith and wellness journey. And if this episode hits home, check out Lisa's Body and Soul Bible study book for deeper wisdom. Do you have something that you want to talk to us about. Submit your listener [e-mail] and remember, be grateful all day, every day.

[B]

Candy Rock Entertainment all rights reserved.

[F]

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