Podcast Summary: The Carpool with Kelly and Lizz
Episode Title: Motherhood and Mental Health w/ Lauren Puliz
Release Date: November 26, 2024
Introduction
In this heartfelt episode of The Carpool with Kelly and Lizz, hosts Kelly Stumpe and Lizz St. John delve deep into the often unspoken challenges of motherhood and mental health. Bringing their expertise as third-generation auto-industry experts into a more personal realm, they welcome Lauren Puliz, a licensed marriage and family therapist specializing in maternal mental health, to share invaluable insights and actionable strategies for new and seasoned mothers alike.
Guest Introduction
Lauren Puliz is a licensed marriage and family therapist with a focus on maternal mental health. Operating under her business, Millennial Mama Therapy, Lauren supports mothers navigating the profound transitions that come with parenthood, offering guidance on managing mental health, building resilient relationships, and developing coping mechanisms during the transformative stages of becoming a mother.
Main Discussion
1. The Transition to Motherhood (Matrescence)
Lauren introduces the concept of matrescence, likening it to adolescence—a significant life transition that reshapes a woman's identity, emotions, and relationships.
- Lauren (32:21): "Matrescence is exactly like adolescence. It is the life transition from being a woman, an adult, to being a mother."
Lauren emphasizes that this transition is irreversible and continuous, affecting every aspect of a mother's life. Once a mother, one never fully exits this life track, continually adapting as children grow and needs evolve.
2. Importance of Mental Health Support
Lauren discusses who should consider seeing a marriage and family therapist:
- Lauren (32:45): "Anyone who is needing mental health support can see a licensed marriage and family therapist... I specialize in maternal mental health, so I work pretty much exclusively with moms..."
She highlights that support is crucial for dealing with depression, anxiety, trauma, and the overwhelming changes that accompany motherhood.
3. Pre-Birth Planning and Coping Strategies
Kelly shares her personal experience with postpartum depression and how having a solid plan in place—discussed with her doctor and communicated to her partner—helped her manage subsequent pregnancies more effectively.
- Kelly (34:09): "Having those tools set in place gave me so much less anxiety because I knew, if it got there, I'd know what to do."
Lauren reinforces the importance of planning ahead to mitigate the challenges of motherhood.
4. Giving Yourself Grace
Kelly raises a common phrase often heard by postpartum mothers: "Give yourself grace." She questions its practicality and seeks Lauren's interpretation.
- Kelly (40:24): "Give yourself grace. What does that mean? And also, how do I give myself grace?"
Lauren provides a nuanced explanation:
- Lauren (40:38): "It's about recognizing that you're doing the best you can with what you have at the time. It's okay to not have everything figured out."
She introduces distress tolerance skills—practical tools to help mothers navigate unavoidable stressful situations without added pressure to be perfect.
5. The Impact of Social Media on Motherhood
The conversation shifts to the dual-edged sword of social media. While it can offer reassurance that one is not alone, it often leads to unhealthy comparisons.
- Lauren (43:04): "It's so easy to be like, 'Wow, Kelly's day was amazing,' but you don't see the chaos behind the scenes."
Lauren advises limiting exposure to social media influences that don't align with one's current life stage and focusing on sources of support that alleviate pressure.
6. Embracing the "Good Enough Parent" Philosophy
Lauren introduces the concept of being a "good enough parent", emphasizing that perfection is unattainable and unnecessary.
- Lauren (53:13): "Good enough parents don't have to be perfect. They can miss the mark and still create healing through repair."
She explains that making mistakes is natural, and what's crucial is the ability to recognize them and mend relationships, fostering a closer bond with children.
Blake's Besties: Stories of Pregnancy and Infant Loss
Towards the end of the episode, Kelly and Lizz honor Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month by sharing poignant stories submitted by listeners:
-
Caitlyn's Story:
Caitlyn shares the heartbreaking loss of her daughter Charlotte at 16 weeks, a loss that profoundly impacted her four-year-old son, who remembers and speaks of his little sister with love and grace. -
Listener’s Tribute:
Another poignant message recounts the loss of Jordan at 16 weeks while abroad for a wedding. The listener describes the strength found in the belief that Jordan knew immense love and comfort, offering a beautiful perspective on loss and remembrance.
Conclusion
This episode of The Carpool with Kelly and Lizz provides a compassionate and insightful exploration of the mental health challenges faced by mothers. Through Lauren Puliz's expertise, listeners gain a deeper understanding of the emotional transitions of motherhood, the importance of mental health support, and practical strategies to navigate this life-changing journey. The episode concludes with moving tributes, reinforcing the community's strength and resilience.
Notable Quotes
- Lauren (32:21): "Matrescence is exactly like adolescence. It is the life transition from being a woman, an adult, to being a mother."
- Kelly (34:09): "Having those tools set in place gave me so much less anxiety because I knew, if it got there, I'd know what to do."
- Lauren (40:38): "It's about recognizing that you're doing the best you can with what you have at the time. It's okay to not have everything figured out."
- Lauren (53:13): "Good enough parents don't have to be perfect. They can miss the mark and still create healing through repair."
Resources Mentioned
- Lauren Puliz's Practice:
- Website: millennialmamatherapy.com
- Instagram: @millennialmamatherapy
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