← Everything Is Energy with Cathy Heller
Everything Is Energy with Cathy Heller
How to Release Who You're Pretending to Be + John O'Leary's Extraordinary Story of Soaring Beyond Limits
00:48:38
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A
I'm really excited because we are going to do a two day workshop where I teach you Kabbalah, where I teach you these ancient, mystical, beautiful ingredients, secrets, tools, codes to how to understand the universe, to how to connect to God, to the Creator, so that you can become a vessel, which you already are, but a wider, bigger vessel. Because the divine light is always pouring in an infinite amount. And each of us has the capacity to be a vehicle for so much light, to reveal light, to reveal possibility, to create love, compassion, goodness, abundance in the world. So join me for these two days. It's a free workshop if you are interested, if you want to quench that thirst in your soul, I think that you're going to walk away with some beautiful, amazing insights. And I think you're going to feel closer to who you really are. And if anything I say is true, it's because there's a part of you that knew it. And you will feel closer to the divine, closer to God and to your soul's mission.
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You can sign up@kathyheller.com workshop.
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I hope to see you there.
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Hey guys, it's Kathy Heller. Welcome back to the Kathy Heller Podcast. I hope you had a beautiful weekend today. I wanted to share a coaching session.
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That we did in my program where.
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I was walking through one of the core ideas from my book. Plus, there's a meditation in here and a few writing prompts to help you choose what is really in alignment with you and your most abundant self and how do you fully step into the life that your soul came here to live. You're going to hear me mention also a very powerful story from an author and speaker that we had on our show, John o'.
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Leary.
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He is just truly amazing. And they actually made a movie about his life with Sony Pictures and it's coming out on Friday. So we thought it would be the perfect chance to play a clip from the interview with him. If you haven't listened to his episode.
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Yet, we're going to have a link.
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In the show notes as well. It's definitely one that you're not going.
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To want to miss.
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All right, take a listen.
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So the first thing I want to say to you is, I wrote this book because everything I just said is true. Abundance. Abundance creates more abundance. The more abundant you are, the more abundant the people in your life will become. We literally become WI fi for each other. Abundance creates abundance. And you already are abundant because you're a soul. And I also wrote this book with a little bit of a recipe because the abundant life that you want belongs to the abundant version of yourself. And the abundant version of yourself, you actually know her, but you don't always choose to let her lead. The abundant version of you thinks a certain way, acts a certain way, feels a certain way in her body. And then there is the version of you that's actually not you. It's how you built yourself to survive. And there's no longer a need for that version. She did her job. There were moments where that was extremely wise, that was really smart. There were moments in your life where that was brilliant. It got you through everything until it actually started to cost you your abundance. So I wrote for you an affirmation and an intention. So, first of all, here's a mantra for today. I release who I've been pretending to be and trust the divine plan for who I'm becoming. And if you really let that sink all the way into your heart, into the cells of your bones, that is really powerful to actually release what is familiar, what is no longer serving you, what is done. Because the version of you, the operating system that has given you the life you have right now will not give you the life that is actually meant for you. Next, we have to update the operating system. This is your software. Update your affirmation for today is. Abundance is my birthright. It is who I am, and I allow its flow with ease. I'm going to repeat that. Abundance is my birthright. It is who I am, and I allow its flow with ease. And as I said at the beginning of this call, if you ever got confused about how abundant you are, when you think of your capacity to have empathy and joy and celebration for a stranger who you just met and to truly wish them everything, you remember how abundant you are, that you have the capacity in the blink of an eye, to literally shower another person with energy, with love, with light, with compassion that actually biologically will change their whole circuitry. Same way you can do for the plants in your house. We literally have an effect on matter because you are energy itself. You are a masterpiece. You are a piece of the master. Here's your intention for the day. Today I choose to act and speak as my abundant self, who I really am. Today I choose to act and speak as my abundant self. Okay, so now we're actually going to do a little meditation around this. When you're ready, close your eyes and take a deep breath. Remember that breath is the ladder that is constantly moving you between your soul and your body. And so as you breathe, you are literally bringing the two together. You are activating this whole body to turn it into light, to move it out of heavy energy that it's been storing, and to move it into connection to your soul that is beyond time. And so keep breathing and put a hand on your heart and feel literally with every beat of your heart that God is loving you into life, that you are being given life itself. And what an absolute gift it is to feel the circuitry of aliveness beating inside of your heart. And just feel how your whole being expands as you connect to this powerful infinite life force. And feel how there's a wisdom beyond the mind that starts to be heard. And just ask, what do I need to remember today? What is my soul want me to know? And start to feel how every part of you is letting go of anything that isn't you and moving into the wholeness, the equanimity, the divine connection. And you become a mouthpiece for the divine. You become a portal. You become the looking glass itself. Because you are now back in flow with the infinite light. The part of you that is, was and will be, the part of you that's never rushing, that doesn't need an outcome, that simply wants to be connected to this feeling. Because all the abundance is in this feeling. And as you connect to it, you generate it for everyone around you. And I just want you to picture that you're standing in front of two doors, and behind one door is the exact life you've been living. The way you feel, the way you think, the patterns, the comforts, the familiarity, the fear. How you dress, how you walk, how you eat, all of it is behind one door. Feel how it feels. Are you being pulled toward it? Do you want to open the door or do you want to shut this door for the last time? And there's a second door. And behind this door is the life that belongs to your soul. This is the life where you think that which really belongs to you. Where you speak in accordance with your alignment. Where every yes is a true yes and the no is real. Where you don't answer to people, but you answer to God. Where you know you're abundant and you're always being moved to exactly the right place at the right time to be a light. And abundance flows right to you because it is a mirror of your own expanded light. And behind this door, this is the version of you that is just flowing with ease. There's ease and well being and plenty of monetary abundance and the opportunities that light you up on a level that only your soul was available for. And there is true Liberation and purpose. And I want you to picture that. You take a step toward that second door because there's a part of you that is now in this moment, so awake, you are allergic to that first door. And it's already been chosen because the first path is so clearly no longer the path. And so you open that second door and you walk through and you step in and you feel what it feels like to be the woman, the you that is on that path belongs to her soul, knows her divine instructions. How does she move? How does it feel? How do you all of a sudden see and perceive? What does she believe? What does she not believe? And how good does it feel that you are walking step by step? And that this unknown is actually infinite possibility? And that the fact that it is not familiar, like the first door, is exactly what makes it this quantum experience that you so were after. There is a divine path, and at every moment you know you're exactly on it. Feel into that energy. Now take a deep breath so that you memorize how good it feels. And the mind is not leading here. And yet all of these ahas are coming in because they don't come from, from the mind. The wisdom comes from the field. Feel how this feels. Memorize this feeling. And when you're ready, bring this with you because you have just changed timelines and you can open your eyes. Take out a pen. We're going to write down three things. Number one, finish this sentence. The version of me who lived door number one, I'm done being because. And I want you to list any fear or habit or pattern or word that communicates why you were done being. The version of you whose life was then. Of course, door number one. Just take a moment. Whatever comes, we're going to journal three questions. Okay? Question two. The version of me who's living door number two. I choose now because. And I want you to write down anything like her habits, her standards, her energy, her beliefs, her income, anything at all that helps you describe why you're choosing the identity and the life that belongs to that identity. What does she think? What does she not think? What does she wear? How does she set boundaries? What music is her soundtrack? Who does she report to? People or her soul? People or God? Where does she get her abundance? From within or outside herself? Anything that you want to write about, why you choose this version of you and the identity that relates and corresponds. The last question I want you to journal on is, what is one micro step I can do today that lets me know I have chosen that second path? That true aligned path. Is there an email you need to send? Is there a boundary you need to set? Is there a plan you need to put into place? Is there something you need to post? Is there someone you need to call? Is there something you want to wear? Is there running shoes you need to put on? Is there a belief you need to become allergic to and write down so that whenever it reoccurs to you, you remind yourself of what's actually true? What is one micro step you can do today that lets you know that you're actually decided and that this is your life. And if you feel like sharing that in the chat, go for it. Clear the clutter from a space in my home, give up the distractions, make a creative project. And now you can write this down. Who I've been has kept me safe, but who I become will set me free. Who I've been has kept me safe, but who I become will set me free. Sometimes the most abundant thing in the world is just walking toward the life that's actually meant for you. And as I posted recently.
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When the.
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1.0 version of you calls, don't answer. She's gonna call. Don't pick up her call because it is so familiar. And what is familiar feels safe. And she's gonna call and she's gonna say, what are you doing? This doesn't feel like you people might not like this. Where do you think you're going? This is unknown. And the unknown registers in the body as unsafe. And so I want you to make the decision now that when she calls, you won't pick up. You'll just text her and say it is safe to feel this good. And then you can move on with your day. The more that we move into this abundant, incredible, soul directed life, our whole life will rearrange. The whole reality will rearrange. The opportunities, the money, the friends, the places you're invited to, it's all a hologram. It's all a mirror image of the signal you send out. So I want you to have the audacity to live your best life. Now let's do a little rapid fire Q and A. So if you have a question about.
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Anything in this book, if you have.
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A thought, if you have something that is specific, you may as well give yourself permission to share it because it might actually be something that helps somebody else. So Sandra said, how will we know when we're connected to the divine? So I love Rabbi Aaron's answer to that question. Because as we know, the radio has an infinite amount of different stations, right? You can listen to Drake, you can listen to Celine Dion, you can listen to Coldplay, you can listen to Mozart, right? There's all the stations. And so, too, we can tune ourselves to whatever station. And then if we're tuned one way, all of a sudden, the world feels just like that. And he says, you know, you're connected to the divine when the world feels like it's just blasting a love song. I just posted, you know how sometimes on Instagram, there's, like, these really cool little stories about people's lives and, like, special things that happen? So I reposted. This woman said that they were at this gas station. Maybe you saw it, and this guy literally took the gas out of their.
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Car, being pumped with gas, and put.
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It in his car. And she was like, say what? That's, like, the weirdest thing. Like, they're paying for their gas. And this guy took the pump, pulled his car up, and started pumping his own gas with their. The gas they're paying for. And she's like, this is so weird. So she went to call the gas station attendant over, like, hello, what do we do? Like, someone's robbing us of the gas.
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We'Re paying for right now.
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And.
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And when she came back with the gas station attendant, her husband was talking to this guy, and he's like, hey, can I just pray for you? Like, what's going on for you right now? And it was such a beautiful little story because it seems so insignificant. Like, none of these people were famous, right? Like, this wasn't, like, the worst thing in the world. It wasn't like, you know, and the reaction that people had, right? Because it's just such an easy moment to miss. But, you know, you're connected to God when everything is a love song. Have you ever seen Les Mis? And what happens in Les Mis is this priest, he steals from this priest, Jean Valjean, right? He steals this guy, and his wife were so kind to him, and he takes from them. And the officer comes back to this priest, priest's house, and he's like, is this yours? And did this man steal this? And he says, actually, no. And he actually left the best behind. And he goes in his house. It's, like, so moving. And he gives him, like, better silver. And then he whispers to him, and he says, with this silver, I bought back your soul. That line is so amazing. And then he dedicates the rest of his life to being a good person. Now, here's the thing. The soul is very keen and discerning. So I really want you to hear this. The soul has so much wisdom that it will tell you when that's actually not the move. The soul has so much wisdom that when what you actually have to do is say no, it will tell you that from a loving place.
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We had this guy on our podcast.
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Who went through horrible, horrible, horrible, horrible, worst degree. I don't even think third degree burns when he was a child and lost all his fingers. They're actually making a movie about him right now. And he came home after months in the ICU and he was finally home and he was nine years old and everyone was sitting at the kitchen dinner table and he was staring at his mashed potatoes and his steak and he didn't know how to pick up a fork or a spoon. And his sister, his older sister tried to feed him and his mother took her hand and she banged on the table, said, do not help him. He has to learn to do this. And he can. He said, that was literally. That was the moment. And she sat with him. His mom sat there with him until 2am she refused to leave the table.
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Until he figured out how to get.
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Himself a bite of food. And he figured it out. And then he learned to do everything else. Sometimes your soul is going to tell you to do something so hard, it's going to say, you have to say no to this person. Because the. I mean, how many people watch the Billy Joel documentary already?
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We're all watching it, right?
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There's like that moment where his first wife was like, I had to leave because he's going to kill himself with drugs and alcohol. And he didn't really get it then. And then something else happens and he doesn't get it. But, like, you could tell when he was talking about her like he loves her, right? And she was right. What I'm saying to you is, you know when you're connected to God, because all of that is actually love, but sometimes love is giving that person the candlesticks. And sometimes love is saying, I love you so much, I'm gonna cost myself being liked right now, because it's a no. And John's mom, when she said, how dare you try to feed him, that's love. Because what she saw is that her son was capable of what he thought he was never gonna be capable of. That's an amazing mother. John o' Leary's story, and it's so good. Please listen to it, share it. It's amazing. We did that episode years ago, but I will never forget. There are certain. We've done 1200 episodes. There is certain moments in a conversation where someone says one sentence like that and it gets burned in your brain. Because the love in that, the courage in that, it's so significant. You just never forget it.
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Right?
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And it's not about book deals.
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And then I made $10 million.
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No, no, no.
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This is way more abundant than that. This is like Mr. Miyagi level abundance. Like, looking at him being like, no, you got this, and I'm not doing it for you. Okay, so the soul is so wise. Sometimes it's a. You're going to actually pray for that person at the gas station. And sometimes it's going to be a really hard no that is coming from the most divine place inside of you that is even harder than anything you've ever done. And it's all love, right? And cause doesn't create effect. Intention creates effect. So when the intention is love, eventually people get it. They might not get it right away. And so we have the capacity to constantly see through that lens.
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Okay, now let's listen to this clip with John o'.
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Leary.
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I don't know if everybody knows, but they're in for such an epic tale. Why don't you take us back and tell us your story, and then we're going to talk about all the things you do today that have emerged from.
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Such a hero's journey.
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So take us back.
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You know, so I'm going to begin in a place you probably weren't expecting, with me being 26 or 27 years old, having never told anybody in the world the answer to the question you just asked, which was how I got burned as a kid. I was not born, I don't think, to become a professional speaker or writer. I wanted to be a baseball player. I'm a Midwest kid. I'm ordinary. I love having fun. I love life. I just love experiencing the fullness of life. That's what I wanted to do. And after being burned, it's still what I wanted to do. In fact, the last thing in the world I wanted to do is to be different than anybody else. When you have fingers that have been amputated and scars from your neck to your toes, the last thing you really want to do is talk about why you have those scars. And so I hid my story in the farthest closet that I have in my house. I just never, ever, ever talked about it. I messed up with humor, with success, with money, with drinking in high school and college, and afterwards, anything I could do to possibly make it disappear for a while. That is exactly What I did. And then my mom and dad wrote a book when I was 26, 27 years old. They printed 100 copies. It is their story, but it is my picture on the front of it. And it is a story of what happened to them as parents and to their little boy when he got burned at age 9 on 100% of his body. And reading that book, Kathy, it changed my life. It changed the way I viewed my hands, my scars, my experiences, my misery, the redemptive aspect of all of it. And then it eventually changed the way I moved forward in my life afterwards. So the long of the short is this. At age 9, I was in my garage, I took a can of gasoline, poured a little bit on top of a burning piece of paper like I'd seen friends do a week earlier to see what might happen. And for them what happened is it just sparked to life. Well, for me what happened is the fumes grabbed the flame, created this massive explosion that launches the nine year old kid 20ft against the far side of the garage. It sets me on fire, it sets the garage on fire, it sets our lives on fire. I'm trapped in the far side of the garage. When we were little, we were taught what to do when we're on fire. So at home, class, what are you supposed to do when you're on fire? Stop, drop and roll. Except when you're actually on fire. What do you actually do when you're on fire? You run. So I panicked and I ran for my life and I ran through the flames, into the kitchen, through the family room, stood on top of a rug just screaming for a hero, praying for a savior. I'll take anybody. I saw my 17 year old brother Jim, he was my older brother, he is the oldest in the family. He had never done anything kind for me in my entire life. And so on the rug that day with flames leaping off my body, seeing my brother, I remember thinking, anybody else? Not Jim, because he can't help but Kathy and listeners, this is his day to not only remind me, but I think to remind all of us that anybody can become a hero. You said, john, tell us your hero story. Like I'm so ordinary, that's why I love telling the story. I'm so ordinary and so broken. Anybody can become a hero, but they got to make their life about something bigger than themselves. And so that day what my brother Jim did is he ran past me, he picked up a rug, he ran back over to me, he beat down the flames that were leaping three feet off of my Body wrapped me in that rug, carried me outside. Kathy rolled around on top of me, saved my life. After doing that, this 17 year old boy, who's never been trained for any of this, goes into a burning house, he gets the golden retriever outside, he gets two of his sisters outside, he calls 911 and then he guides me to the ambulance. Jim O', Leary 1987 was when he woke up on January 1st, an ordinary, pimple faced, freckly jerk brother. And then the headwinds blew and then life change. And then he showed up. And I think the cool thing about crisis, you get to decide how do you want to respond now. You want to be a hero or do you want to just kind of lock the doors a little bit tighter and make life all about you? The cool thing, right now we get to remind our ladies and gentlemen, our brothers and sisters in the community that they're not alone, that there's reason for hope and that the best is yet to come. And that's what Jim did for me that day. He changed my life. He gave me life. And so I appreciate you saying your hero story, but the reality is I'm the net sum of so many remarkable people being used for a cause bigger than themselves.
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It's not fair because there's really no words that adequately respond.
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To.
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It's not just the story. The story is, on a level most of us have never heard, be somebody's reality. It's your response to the story. It's what you decided to tell. It's what you answered. When the question is what's the story? And you talked about your brother and made your brother the hero. There's no words to comment on how humble and grateful and generous and just good, how much goodness is inside of you. It's just there's no yardstick that we've ever seen that would measure anything close to that. It's just amazing that that's the way that you frame your story. How did you begin to piece things together and how did you begin to create the career and the work that is your work right now? Speaking and connecting and teaching. How did all of that sort of emerge?
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I'll answer your question, but it'll probably make you mad because I won't take credit for it. When I got home from the hospital on a Saturday, three days later, the doorbell rang, Kathy, and it was our piano teacher. And I'm in the kitchen on a morphine drip, wrapped from head to toes, literally with bandages. My left arm is out at my side in an airplane Smith, they call it. And my right hand is in a boxer's glove. Okay, so there I am, nine years old, rocking and rolling, listening to Bruce Springsteen on the rad. Reagan is in the office and the piano teacher is now in my kitchen. And my mother comes over and I look up and I say, mom, why is she here? And she doesn't answer, not with words. You know, the risk I think, of interviews, even like the one you and I are having right now is talk is so cheap. What my mother did is she bent down. I'll never forget it. She unhooked the brakes on my wheelchair. She rolled me away from the pity party where I'd been hanging out for three days plus five months before that takes me down a hallway, rolls me into a living room. My great grandmother's piano is up against the wall. My mom rolls me over, she locks the brakes and walks out. Total silence, total isolation. Mrs. Bartello comes in, she sits down next to me, she puts her arms around me and she says, baby, we're going to do this together. And this beautiful lady ties with a rubber band, a pencil to my right arm. And I'm taking piano class on a morphine drip as a nine year old kid. And I hated my mom that entire piano class. And I think the only time I hated mom more than that piano class was the one that followed the following week and then the following week and then the following. And if you come visit me sometime in St. Louis, Missouri, you'll see a guy who runs a business, owns a home, is married with four kids, and has a piano himself that I play from time to time. And I insist my kids take piano class too, because my mom taught me that really in life, there's nothing you can't do if you decide to put your left foot in front of your right and stop making excuses. And it took me a long time to really heed that advice. I went on to school. Eventually. I graduated from grade school and high school, went on to college, graduated. But I was living a fake life. I wasn't really living my authentic life. You've done this too. I feel like you and I share so many stories. So you've done the fake thing. I have, too. I was climbing the success ladder to prove to everybody else how great I was. Look how much money I can make. Look how much real estate I can sell. And what I was doing was real estate development. Buy old houses, fix them up and flip them. Make a lot of money. And I would do the work myself, which retrospectively I realized I was doing it by myself to prove to the world how capable I was. You may see hands that are amputated, but I see a guy who can swing a hammer better than anybody else. Just watch. Watch me. And it was a lie. It was just all a great lie. And then the book comes out, and it changed my world. I got called by a group of three Girl Scouts to share my story for their troop. And so, Mr. O', Leary, that's what they called me. I'm only 27, but I walk into this classroom, there's only three of them. I look down at my notes, Kathy. Never look up at those little monsters staring at me. They don't even pay me Samoas. They give me nothing. I deliver a presentation. It was brutal. It sucked. The majority of it was about Abraham Lincoln and the adversity he faced as a young boy. But that's my first talk. And one of the dads in the room invited me to his Rotarian club. So I went. And I just. I've been following. I've been led this entire journey. And then there was another group. And the first year, I spoke three times. No money. But over 15 years that have followed, I've spoken 2,000 times in front of a couple million people around the country, around the world, just saying yes, just believing. And what you're hearing in this conversation, you've called that out a couple times. I think the reason the message works is because it has nothing at all to do with the dude delivering it. He's not that articulate. He's not that handsome. He's kind of broken. He says the wrong words all the time. But ultimately, the story he shares isn't really about him. And I think that connects authentically to a lady in the front row or a fellow in the far back to recognize this story ultimately is about despair redeemed into life.
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Every single word is a mic drop. Every single word is the exact medicine that everybody needs right now. And by the way, you're wrong. You are so handsome. You have all the right words. And your story is. There's no way to describe it because you're kind of like a. You're like a sprite. Like, there's something about you that doesn't feel human. It feels superhuman. But that's what actually makes it so magical. You know, there's a story where God was going to create human beings, and the angels say, you shouldn't do that because human beings will have free will. Angels are just perfect. And God says, wait, I'm going to show you What a human being is capable of, right? And I was talking to my rabbi in Jerusalem about this just a couple weeks ago, and he said, you know what's amazing? If you're only perfect, which is what God is only perfect, then you don't have the choice to be perfect, because you are. But if you create human beings who.
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Have the choice to choose good or.
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Evil, that, in a way, is how God can create something that's even more than perfect, by creating us that have the choice. And then he must look at you, John, and just cry his eyes out. Like, I can't imagine he's thinking what he's feeling. I mean, I'm saying it like, it's like we can understand it. It's so beyond us. But whatever that is what that creator thinks and feels when it comes, when it puts you in the center of its being and look, takes a look at you, it's just so incredibly exquisite.
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It is.
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Exactly. No, I mean, it really is.
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My friend Bob Goff says he's so great. In God's wallet, there are no pictures of grandkids, which means Kathy and John and Listener 1 and Listener 2 and Listener 3, all the way down the line of the millions. You're his baby. Like, you're the one. You're the apple of his eye. You're the apple of the universe's eye. Like, I believe we have divine DNA, that we have royal blood coursing through our veins, and that we have been appointed for a time exactly like this. What a gift. So I don't think God loves me any more than anybody else, but I know he loves me perfectly. I think that's, for me, very inspiring, because I screw up all the time. So I think God laughs and cries, not because of how perfect I am, but how imperfectly I'm stepping forward into life.
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I'm only going to say yes because I want to be respectful, but you should see from this side what it seems like and how exquisitely you show up every time.
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Next. Okay. She.
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Yeah, exactly. Well, that I could believe. Just because I'm married 10 years and I know how hard, I think that relationship. That's really the greatest accomplishment. You know, you live with someone else, you get up close with all of your stuff that you need to work on, right? And you did that, too. And you have four kids. So, like, there's nothing you haven't dared to do. So let's talk about the next thing, which is that I think people who are listening might think. But see, Kathy, he just said, you know, he has all these incredible tools. He has faith. He has family around him who love him. And again, here come the excuses. I don't have faith. I don't know if I believe in.
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Any of that stuff.
- [38:54]
D
I don't have family around me that loves me. There's some unwillingness to let go of the pain. And I'm sure you've come across this. So when people grip it really tight and they don't want to let it go, what is that about? And how do we help them loosen that grip? How do you start to bring this down into a way where people can go, okay, he does get that I might be here, and he's saying, it's still relevant to me.
- [39:21]
E
Awesome. So I'll give you one quick story, and then a process that has been very effective for me.
- [39:26]
D
Amazing. Thank you so much.
- [39:28]
E
The quick story is even before the piano class, three days before that homecoming, I'm at home. Mom makes my favorite dinner, which, oddly enough, is all grinded potatoes. So I've changed my eating habit a little bit. But back in the day, it was cheesy potatoes that set o' Leary on fire. So she makes these potatoes. My five siblings are on the table. There's a golden retriever over there in the corner looking for scraps of food, and a little boy at the table with no fingers and no ability to eat. I can't do it. Right. The very thing that you were just talking about, your listeners just say, kathy, he's got all this stuff I don't have. Okay, fine. So I get it. I don't have fingers. I can't eat. So my sister Amy, who is a remarkable human being, grabs a fork, picks up potatoes, moves it toward my mouth. And then my mother, who in many ways reminds me actually of you, Kathy, looks at Amy and says, amy, drop that fork. If John is hungry, he's going to feed himself. And I remember looking away from the potatoes and that fork and over at my mom like puppy dog eyes. Like, what? I'm in a wheelchair. I'm on a morphine drip. I ain't got no fingers, Mama, I know I can't eat. So I explained that to her very clearly. And somehow she didn't take the bait. Because she says, baby, if you're hungry, you'll eat. Long story made very, very short. Two and a half hours later, the plate of food had been flipped two different times, and a little boy had a fork wedged between his fingers with potatoes on the end of it, moving them awkwardly toward his mouth with tears coming down the cheeks, looking with great hatred at his mom. But here's the point, guys, ladies, listeners, the boy was eating, the excuse was gone. The BS nonsense had left the room. And I don't know when it's going to leave your room. You can live there as long as you want. But at some point, because I've shared that story only a couple times, people are like, couldn't she have let you have a nice dinner once and then been hard the following day? When is the time to be the jerk? When is the time to be. It's your life. You start living it. Quit making excuses. You can't live to the chains of yesterday for long. And if you do, you got no one to blame. Not the jailer, not your parents, not your. At some point, you got to be the one that frees you from the bondage. And my mom insisted at age 9, John, you are not going to live chained to excuses. That was a very difficult lesson to receive as a kid. But I fed myself that day. I fed myself Cheerios the following morning, and I have been feeding myself ever since. Accountability, I think, kind of gets a bad rap, but it is your life. Choose your path forward. Viktor Frankl shows us the way. Your grandparents, all four of your grandparents, they show us the way forward. You don't have to be victimized by what those people did. You can choose to, but you don't have to. And how liberated it is when you step into the day knowing that you get to choose how you engage in it. So that's the story now, the process.
- [42:13]
C
Oh, my God.
- [42:14]
D
I will never forget that story as long as I live. She is so remarkable. I'm telling you. And you know this because you're a parent and I have three little girls, right? The pain that she experienced, you know that that's compounded. It's like it's. You take the pain of your child and you multiply it by a thousand. And she was feeling that pain, all of it, and she was able to stand there and really take care of you.
- [42:41]
E
It's unbelievable. It's, I think, one of the best stories of parenting I've ever heard. I happen to be one of the characters in it, but I'm again, I'm the recipient of the love, not the example of it. I'm just getting or being forced.
- [42:53]
D
What an incredible. What an incredible soul. Okay, so what's that amazing process? Take us through it.
- [43:00]
E
What your listeners may not know is you got a guy who's got this goofy, loud, happy voice, but he has no Fingers still, somehow they haven't grown back. Apparently they're not like toenails, so they don't grow back. I have scars from my neck to my toes. I'm in physical pain all day long. And every time I leave my house, people stare at me. Every time I walk into an airport or on a stage, people stare. And it's not because, like, oh, my gosh, I hope he's single, because I want to date him. People stare, man, because he's different than everybody else. So my life, what you need to know is my life is far from easy. So how do I try to own the gift that it is? Here's what I do. Every morning, I wake up at least an hour before anybody else. Don't wait for the alarm clock to wake you up to remind you you're already behind. I wake up before I need to go downstairs. I get a big tall glass of water and a cup of coffee. I go out to the screen porch, whether it's 65 and sunny or 32 in frigid. And I go out there and I look east in the morning and I just wait. And it is dark and it is chilly And I got a journal. I got a little prayer book. I am reflecting. I am kind of thinking through the day, thinking about my yesterday. And as I watch the sun start cutting through the darkness, the light returns. And I always ask the question, right when you see that, like, it comes over the horizon every morning, amazingly. And I always ask the question, why me? And then I spend the next 30 seconds to 10 minutes journaling, why me? Why me? Light again, cutting through the darkness. Opportunity to live, I think the freest, greatest country in the history of the world. Opportunity to have two parents who are still alive. Both of them challenged with physical issues right now, but they are in my life still. Strong faith, life, great marriage, not perfect, but it is good. Four little kids who are going to get up soon and hang on my leg. Work that matters. Opportunity to influence. Why me? Why me? Life, why me? The likelihood of you being on this podcast, listeners. I know I'm lucky. I know I'm blessed. But the mathematical chance of you being in the room for this call is less than 1 in 400 trillion. That's the biological chance of your daddy's sperm and your mama's a coming together. Boom, right on time. One in 400 trillion. So there's the biology class for the day, kids. One in 400 trillion. And you are here and you are complaining about the weather or you're complaining about how Unfair. It was nine years ago when he walked out. Listen. It's hard, but life is a fragile gift. Don't miss the sunrise. So I begin with, why me? And it sets my day off on fire with gratitude. And then I step into it with mission. The second question is, who cares? Who cares if it is hard? Who cares if the headlines are all negative? Who cares if this thing is moving toward us and the headwind is building and the cloud is growing? When I answer that question, though, I always choose to answer it with, I choose to thrive in spite of it, because. So I choose to thrive in spite of the storm, because. And that is my mission statement for the day and for my life. And so my mission, and this is your homework assignment. If you choose to accept, go for it. I choose to thrive because God demands it. My family deserves it. The world is dark for it. Let's go. Let's go. And so it allows me to treat baristas with greater respect and my family with greater dignity. And people I've never met before, like custodians, as if their work and their lives matter because they do. They are on the front side of saving people's lives every day. So I choose to thrive because God demands it. Family deserves it. The world is starved for it. And then the third and final question guiding me through the day, and I hope you're taking notes at home. The final question is, what more can I do to make tomorrow better than today? And so sometimes that is a business initiative. I know you're super savvy with business, so this is something you've been doing probably naturally, for decades. But I don't do it naturally. And I don't think selflessly naturally. And I don't think about my wife naturally. I don't think about my parents and what I can do to be a better son for them naturally. So this insists that every single day I think of one thing I can do the following to live a life bigger than my own. And so for me, for the last seven years, I have been going through this process. It has been a hard seven years, but it has been the best seven years of my entire life. And so I think that process for me has helped me get outside of the pity party or the excuse making to recognize how fortunate I am, the mission I'm on, and the truth that tomorrow is going to be better than today.
- [47:09]
B
How amazing is John? His movie will be opening this weekend in theaters nationwide. So go watch it. You can see the trailer and get more into all of it@soulonfiremovie.com we'll have that link and more in the show Notes. All right, here are the takeaways.
- [47:24]
C
Number one.
- [47:24]
B
Release who you've been pretending to be and trust the divine plan for who you're becoming. Number two Abundance is your birthright. Number three who you've been has kept you safe, but who you become will set you free. Number four it is safe to feel this good. Number five. The more we move into the abundant, the incredible soul directed life, the whole reality rearranges. It's all a mirror image of the signal that you send out. So have the audacity to live your best life. Number six. Anyone can become a hero, but you have to make your life about something bigger than yourself. Number seven. There's nothing you can't do if you decide to put your left foot in front of your right foot and stop making excuses. Number 8. Life is a gift. Don't miss the sunrise. Number 9. Choose to thrive in spite of the storm. Choose to thrive because God demands it. The world is starved for it. Let's go. Thank you so much for listening. I know that you have a million things going on and I totally appreciate that you're here. If you want more episodes, make sure that you follow us on Apple Podcasts or on Spotify wherever you're listening and and if these episodes have resonated with you, please leave us a review. Here's one that we got last week that I loved. It says my Go to podcast Feels like my bestie is talking to me. I listen every day in the car. Love Ever meet someone or experience something and just know it was meant for you? That's what it's like with Kathy. She's not pushing a course, she's sharing real, heartfelt, ancient wisdom, her genuine experiences. And in a way that feels like my bestie is talking to me. This girl can tell a story. I've since taken her courses and even gone on her life changing retreat. Epic. I've been more centered in my business and my life since I found this podcast. Kathy was born for this and I'm completely all in.
- [49:07]
C
Oh my gosh, Gilly.
- [49:08]
B
That is so sweet. Gilly came to our retreat and it was so special to see her in person. Speaking of gathering in person, I'm doing an event on November 11th. This is going to be a workshop on abundance and Kabbalah and I'll be talking about some of the most important pieces of my book because the paperback of my book comes out on 11 11. There's also going to be some fireside chats with a few friends and we'll do some yoga. If you want to be there in person, you can go to kathyheller.com celebration.
- [49:35]
C
There are a few tickets left.
- [49:37]
B
Also, tomorrow I'm doing a free two day workshop. It starts tomorrow. I'll be teaching Kabbalah all about ancient wisdom that leads you on the path to abundance. If you want to get into any of this, it's free. You can sign up at K Kathy Heller.com workshop and we'll be doing two free days of workshops on Zoom this week. The first one is tomorrow. I love you so much and I hope you have an amazing week.