← Everything Is Energy with Cathy Heller
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- [00:00]
Kathy Heller
If you've ever had a good day, those are the days that you're not trying to control everything and control everyone all the time. Joy is actually a state of being that your mind considers dangerous. The mind is there for one reason, to protect you. So it's constantly scanning for danger. Our soul is chasing significance. There's something so much bigger than us that runs the world and moves things together in perfect divine order. And see, that's the thing when you start looking at the world and that's what you're scanning for, it's almost impossible to have a bad day. Hey guys, it's Kathy Heller.
- [00:32]
Podcast Host / Interviewer
Welcome back to Everything is Energy.
- [00:34]
Kathy Heller
Can I just say something?
- [00:36]
Podcast Host / Interviewer
Every really good day that you've ever had. The kind where life feels weirdly magical, where things are just clicking, where you feel lit up and just totally in flow. You were not sitting there trying to control every variable. You were not mentally rehearsing 17 disasters before breakfast. You were present. And I think so many of us have been taught the way to stay safe and for things to go well is for us to stay in control. If we think enough or plan enough or overanalyze enough, maybe we can outsmart uncertainty. But that is such an exhausting way to live.
- [01:07]
Kathy Heller
Because the truth is, some of the
- [01:09]
Podcast Host / Interviewer
most extraordinary things in my life happen the second I stop gripping so hard and just trust and just be connected to God more than my fear. The best relationships, the biggest synchronicities, the best, most wild opportunities I never could have orchestrated with my logical mind. And so many of you have written to me asking questions about this exact thing, like how can I trust my intuition? Or how do I actually manifest without forcing? And how do I follow the breadcrumbs? Or I can't see the whole staircase? This is the conversation because your brain is literally designed to scan for what could go wrong. Which explains a lot. But if you live there full time, you disconnect from your own wisdom. In this episode, we're talking about overthinking, intuition, manifestation, synchronicity, and what happens when you stop trying to white knuckle your life and you let the divine lead. All right, let's dive in. Okay, for the first question you all wanted to know, what do you do when the life you built no longer feels aligned with who you're becoming?
- [02:06]
Kathy Heller
I want you to think about three things in this Breaking old identities, courageous action, and certainty over logic. Breaking old identities is. I want you to think about where in your life are you self betraying? Where in your life is there Self abandonment, where you know in your gut that you've actually already graduated from something, but you're not yet speaking what's true. It's not random. Okay? It's not random. Whatever information is coming up for you, there's a reason that we need to lean in and trust whatever that is for the highest and best of all, and set down whatever roles we've been playing and give ourselves permission to expand and to be even more authentic to what feels true. The second thing is courageous action, right? What's interesting, and most people don't know this part of the story, but it's written that it wasn't just that Moses split the Red Sea, that God split the Red Sea, you know, in that Passover story, what we actually learn in the Talmud is that the Israelites were leaving Egypt, and then the Egyptians started coming after them, and they were literally between a rock and a hard place. It was either, you know, surrendering and going back into slavery, or there was water in front of them. And one of those men walked into the water up to his knees, and then walked in up to his hips, and then walked in up to his shoulders, and then walked all the way in. And his name was Noxon. And it was that moment that he walked all the way in that the sea actually split. And now scientists say maybe there was a tsunami. Who knows what happened there? But what if the miracle follows your courageous action? And when you step forward, that's when things start to rearrange themselves and that God meets us in that movement. And so that's something to think about during this time. And the last piece is that certainty beyond logic, right? That really tapping into not betting on only what you see with your eyes, but actually really seeing the unseen. Because, yes, there's the 1% of reality, which is what you see with the naked eye, but then there's a 99.9% of reality, which is the spiritual forces and the spiritual grid that are actually having much more to do with everything in our life than the naked eye would reveal. And so it's that certainty that allows you in any moment to say, no matter what it looks like, everything is happening for me, everything is happening for my highest and greatest good. And so when you step into that level of certainty, then there's a new perspective that drops in, and you see a solution that you would not have seen if you weren't free, right? Because the ego can't see the unseen. The ego is only looking through this tiny little peephole at reality. And the. The lesson in the book of Esther was that every single thing that looked like it was headed in one direction, every single one of those events was actually not random. And it was actually all perfectly orchestrated for this miracle to occur. And all that needed to happen, right, was for us to have that certainty beyond logic and not give in to the illusion. And we have this capacity for the breakthrough. The breakthrough is breaking through the illusion of. Of whatever our eyes tell us is the whole story. And knowing that there's a much bigger story at play. And that's really where our freedom takes hold. Because we start remembering that we are guided, that we are supported, that we are being led. And when we move into that consciousness, the path reveals itself. And it's our consciousness at that level that creates the miracles in our life.
- [05:54]
Podcast Host / Interviewer
All right, for this next question, you all wanted to know, how do you trust life when it unfolds so differently than what you prayed for?
- [06:02]
Kathy Heller
I think we all have, like, a natural sort of nature. Nature versus nurture, right? And my mom says that when I was little, she's like, you were so easily satisfied. She's like, your sister needed, like, four bottles through the night. You had one bottle, you go right to sleep, and you woke up smiling. And I think there's something in. And I say this honestly, I think that, yes, I have bad days, but I think certain people should get more credit when they're having a good day. Cause they have a darker, dark side, if that makes sense. And I think as a Gemini being born, like, my. My birthday is the brightest day of the year. It's the summer solstice. And so I think that I say to my mom, who her birthday is actually in December, the darkest day of the year. We actually have the flip of our birthdays. She's the winter solstice. And I say to her, you know, you've struggled your whole life with really, like, the mental chatter and feeling sad. I said, but when you're having a good day, I give you more credit than when I'm having a good day. Because the way you were designed, right, you have a different. You have a different soul. And so I think that that is something to acknowledge, actually, is that I tend to see things through a lens of positivity. And I think that's God given, so I don't take all the credit for that. And also I do think, as Viktor Frankl would say, and as Abraham Hicks would say, and Byron, Katie and Eckhart Tolle and anyone that we've listened to that has wisdom is that we really have very little control over anything in our life except for how we perceive things. And so I've definitely continued to really master that. And I think that the reason I call my show now Everything is Energy is because. Well, first of all, it was called the Kathy Heller Podcast. And for people who don't know who I am, what does that tell you about what this show is gonna be about? 0. But why I do think Everything Is Energy is because ultimately we come to this life, really the, the task we've been given is to learn how to manipulate our own energy, is to take our own energy into a higher vibration. Because we all know when you wake up in the morning, right? Within four seconds of waking up, your mind is just like reading you worst case scenarios. And that's what minds do, right? We've now gotten the science to know that, like, the mind is there for one reason, to protect you. So it's constantly scanning for danger, it's constantly scanning for what could go wrong. And it's just such a buzzkill, right? And what's cool is that we now know through history that there is a way out of. That there's a way out of the blizzard of the mind. And that if we don't do something about it, you know, neuroscientists now say that the first 10 minutes of your day, how you spend the first 10 minutes of the day is literally xeroxed to be the rest of your day's natural default position. So if you can get a hold of the first 10 minutes of your morning and instead of scrolling through news or whatever you're gonna do that just hijacks your mind, hijacks your nervousness and makes you feel stressed. Instead of doing that, if you made a practice for the first 10 minutes of the day to reach for a higher, a higher thought, to reach for something that feels better. What's really interesting is there's a part of us that is so addicted to feeling like crap that we almost fight ourselves. We're like, no, I don't want to feel better. Like, I'm not going to go get some vitamin D. I'm not going to put on some Meghan trainer and move my hips like, I refuse. I love this cortisol negative, like sludge that I'm simmering in, right? And it seems ridiculous, but that is what the mind does because the mind doesn't want you to, to be vulnerable. And as we now know, Brene Brown says, like, joy is actually a state of being that your mind considers dangerous because you can't Be joyful and constantly trying to control and predict what's about to happen. In fact, if you've ever had a good day, those are the days that you're not trying to control everything and control everyone all the time. And fear and control go together. So joy is actually asking you to stop trying to predict, stop trying to be hyper in the hyper vigilance, and just, could you just flow with the day? Right? And so it takes practice. But what I've realized is that I really do prefer being on the other side instead of letting my mind just read me these, you know, boring headlines. I would rather say I want to be in a divine conversation today. I just want to be texting back and forth with God, and I want to be led to the sweetest moments. You know, I tell this story about how when my dad passed away, you know, sometimes you're so afraid of something happening and then it happens, but the actual experience of it happening, there's a way in which you can be with that experience that you didn't even realize you. You had that level of strength. And being with my dad in hospice, the amount of love that was in that room, I would not trade those seven days for anything. And yet I was not. I was definitely not wanting those days to come. And I just find it fascinating that we think we know what will make for, like, the best moments. And sometimes we're living half alive. And other moments which could be quote, unquote, like, the worst moments, were actually the most alive that we've ever been. And so it's really fascinating to have the full human experience. And I think what makes that experience for me, what made the experience of him going through hospice so beautiful, was total presence. Just total presence and heart totally open. And anyway, a week after he passed away, you know, we're Jewish, so we sat Shiva. We went through the Shiva process, which is such a beautiful gift. Seven days of, you don't go out, you don't get dressed. You're not putting on makeup. I mean, you're getting dressed, but you're not, like, trying to be in the ego. You're really just letting your soul sit with what it needs to sit with and feel whatever it needs to feel. And people come visit, and you have the most amazing conversations that are just so real. And I just didn't want that to end. Anyway, a week after that, so then it had been, like, a couple weeks since he passed. We went out, and my kids were really wanting to, like, get back into, like, a little bit of life. It was the summer. And they had been in a hospital room, and then they had been in a. You know, the funeral experience. Anyway, we go to dinner, and it was my first night out. And you know how when you go through something like that, you go back into the world, Your re entry is a little bit hard. And the cars were driving so fast. And I was. I was thinking, God, this guy just zoomed by. Doesn't he know my dad died? You know, he doesn't know. He's just driving where he's driving, right? You just realize the world is on a different frequency, right? And we go to dinner, and we're sitting at this really good sushi place, and all the tables are squished together. All the good sushi places are like a hole in the wall. We know that. And we're sitting next to this couple, and they're on a first date. And I can tell they're on a first date because the questions they're asking each other, and they're literally, like, three inches from me. We could, like, share our sake. Like, I'm right there with them, and I lean over and I say, are you on a first date? And the girl says, yeah. And I said, can I. Can I buy you dinner? And she's like, that's so nice. And I'm like, I want to. And so she asked me for my Instagram or my social media. Like, as I'm leaving, she's like, I want to stay connected to you. I was like, okay. So we trade social media, and I leave. And a couple Hours later, she DMs me. And she said, thank you so much. That was really just so generous. And I said, no. It. It was so fun to, like, you know. I said, so are you gonna go on a second date with him? And she said, I don't know. But what I do want you to know is that I'm a widow. She said. And she goes, I'm only 41, and my husband died five years ago, and tonight is my first date. And she said, you don't know what it meant to me, because I asked God for a sign that it was okay, and then you paid for dinner. And she said that was a sign I needed. So I said, well, what you don't know is this is my first night out since I lost my dad, and I wanted to feel connected, and I wanted to feel in purpose, and I was feeling sad. And sometimes the best way for me to feel uplifted is just to do something kind for no reason. And I said, he died on July 3. And she said, well, you know what's crazy? She said, Five years ago, my husband died on July 3rd. And I started bawling, and I realized that there are these divine winks all the time that we walk right past. And me just opening the door, opening my heart to a moment, to a stranger, right? My kids were like, mom, it's like, kind of cringe. You're just gonna talk to this couple. And then now they kind of know, like, that's what Mommy does, right?
- [15:18]
Podcast Host / Interviewer
Okay, quick pause. Because I want to tell you something I've been thinking a lot about lately. I think so many of us consume so much information. We listen to podcasts, we read books, we journal, we do the work. And yet somehow we still slip back into the same fear, the same overthinking, the same patterns. And I honestly think it's because, mom, most of the time, most people don't need more information.
- [15:35]
Kathy Heller
They need permission.
- [15:36]
Podcast Host / Interviewer
They need to actually feel safe, receiving more, having more abundance, stepping into more ease, more visibility, more love. And that's a huge part of why I created the Kathy Heller Live. And this is exactly why I created the event that we're doing in August. It's called Kathy Heller Live, the divine download. It's August 2nd and 3rd in Los Angeles, and it's not really a conference. It's two days to get out of the blizzard of your mind and into a room where you can actually embody who you really are instead of just understanding it intellectually. We're going to do so many fun things, incredible conversations, live coaching, fun exercises, and we're going to create the kind of energy in the room that changes you before you get back in your car to leave. So if that's calling you, go to kathyheller.com summit or just click the link in the show notes. I would absolutely love to see you there. How do you trust life when it unfolds so differently than what you prayed for?
- [16:26]
Kathy Heller
How many moments do we walk right past that take our breath away? And so it's like you wake up every day and your mind tells you what it wants you to accomplish. Make more money, get more followers, you know, like whatever this garbage is. And really, your soul is like, can I have a moment like that? Can I have a moment where I know without a shadow of a doubt that there are forces in this universe so much bigger than me that want to remind me that I'm always at the right place at the right time? Without question? And so, you know, I was thinking about, like, why is my show now called Everything Is Energy. It's because we know when the needle's on the record and when it's not. Like, we know when we're having a day, when we are in flow, when we are in step with just. We know that there's something bigger than us running the show and we're here for it. And we almost find things funny, like, oh, you know, I'm late for this meeting. But then of course you're late for this meeting because it turned out that it was perfect. In fact, I'll tell you another story. I was going with my friend Kim to San Diego and I said to her, would you come with me to San Diego? I'm speaking at this event. And she's like, sure. And I said, maybe instead of driving, we'll take the train from la. I, I've never taken it, but I heard it's actually really pretty and it drives down the coast. She's like, great. So I said, okay. I bought us two train tickets for 8:10 to San Diego. She's like, great. So we get to the train station at 8 07. We jump out of the waymo and we start running, looking for like, where is the train to San Diego? And as we're looking for the train, it's 8:08-8809. And it's 8:10. And now it's 8:10. So she says to me, it's 8:10. The train's probably pulling away from the station. I'm like, what do you mean it's 8 10? Doesn't it leave it like 8 14? And she's like, no, I think it leave at 810 if that's what it says. I'm like, oh. So people were getting on the train probably since like 7. I didn't realize this. So we run up to the track and there's, there's a guy standing there. It's like in one of these like, you know, John Hughes 1980s movies or something. And I go, where's the train to San Diego? He goes, the 8:10. There it is. Leaving the station, I'm like, oh. So it really is a real 8 10. So it's a different reality. So she goes, oh my gosh, we missed the train. And I was like, oh, we missed the train. Interesting. She goes, why are you not stressed and freaking out? You have to speak at 11am like, you need to get to San Diego. It's a three hour ride. I said, because it's gonna work out. It's gonna work itself out. And so she's like, okay, well, let's problem solve. She goes, let's see if there's another train to San Diego. There wasn't, except there was a train leaving in 20 minutes to Oceanside, which is about 40 minutes north of San Diego. She goes, okay, let's take the train to Oceanside and then we'll Uber the 40 minutes from Oceanside. I said, okay, fine. We get on the train to Oceanside, we're sitting there, we're talking. She says to me, it's been five minutes, been 10 minutes. She goes, kath, we've been on this train for 20 minutes and it's not moving. The train was supposed to leave like 10 minutes ago. I don't think this train's going to leave and I don't think you're going to get to your speech. Like, I think we need to get off this train and take an Uber. So I'm like, okay, cool, fine. So I call up an Uber. Normally it's a three hour ride to San Diego, and for whatever reason at that moment in time, it said that the ride would be 2 hours and 11 minutes. So we saved the hour, which I can't believe. Okay, so the guy comes, lovely guy. We get in the car and she's like, I can't believe you've just not been upset today. I'm like, I know. I always know when these things are happening that there's like something so good on the other side of these things. I said, you'll see. So we're in the car, about 45 minutes later, I get an email from Amtrak because they think I'm on the 810 train. And the email says, customers, passengers, we just want to let you know we're doing everything to fix this. And here's what we found out. The reason that second train to Oceanside did not go is because that first train, that 8:10 train, there happened to be a mudslide on the tracks. And that first train was derailed and it was in the middle of the track. So no trains after that were able to move because there was a train in the way on the tracks, which was the 810 train. It never made it to San Diego. It never made it past like 45 minutes out of LA. And I turned to Kim and I was like, you won't believe the email that Amtrak just sent me because it thinks that we're on the 810 train. And instead we went to San Diego and I gave my talk and we came back and I said, you know, this idea of you want to be at the right place at the right time. What if the fact that we were two minutes late for the train was because we were at the right place at the right time? And what if you allowed yourself to know with certainty that that's actually always the case? And that I was destined to give that talk, so there was no way I was going to miss it. Right. And that there's a bigger grid and there's other things going on that we don't see with our eyes, that there are roles we're meant to play and people who need us and places we're meant to be. And sometimes we're so rigid and we're so convinced that we know where we're supposed to be and when that we actually miss the best thing of all, which is that we're always being guided to where we actually need to be. And so that was just a wild story. It was just a wild story.
- [22:07]
Podcast Host / Interviewer
Have you ever had one moment completely redirect the course of your life?
- [22:12]
Kathy Heller
You know, it's interesting because I started learning Kabbalah when I was 20 years old, okay. And that was not on my list. It was. It was not part of what I thought was gonna be my path. And what happened was, is this is such an interesting story. When I was in college, I went to Florida State, and I had actually wanted to go to BU because my sister went to NYU for theater. And we were both like, you know, kids that wanted to grow up and be in the musical theater world and actors. And I was a songwriter for a while, and I had a record deal at Interscope for a minute. And, like, I really thought my whole path was going to be an artistic path. Long story short, I did not get in to college in Boston. I got waitlisted. My grades weren't good enough. I only applied to, like, theater schools, but I didn't get in. And not only did I not get in, my parents had gotten divorced. I didn't have the money to go to a private school, so I went to a state school in Florida because I was from Florida. And when I got to school in Florida, I was like, you know what? Like, if I'm in a regular college, I don't think I'm going to do theater. I'm just going to, like, study, like, whatever there is that's interesting. And I wound up, long story short, becoming a world religion major. And I was studying. I couldn't believe that I could get a degree just reading books that I wanted to read, like, reading books on, like, Buddhism. And Sikhism and Taoism and, like, learning about Judaism and Christianity and how these things, like, help, like, over the course of thousands of years, it helped help people make sense of their lives and give them purpose. And it was so fascinating. And taking anthropology classes and archeology classes, I mean, it was so interesting. And that's what I got my degree in. But my senior year of high school, of college, they were doing. The senior play was Anne Frank, the Diary of Anne Frank. And I was like, you know what? I want to audition for this. But meanwhile, the people who were in the theater program at Florida State were really, really good actors. And I had not been in theater program at all. So it was like, who does this girl think she is to audition, you know, amongst other talented seniors? Anyway, I auditioned for this part, and I rocked this monologue. Like, I do this monologue, and I remember feeling as though, like, I had this part. And everybody in the room was like, this is your part. You're gonna make this whole show. Like, there's something about you that's so deep and so genuine, and you are, like, really conveying this message of this character. Long story short, I did not get the part. And I went to go see the director in his office hours, and he had two first names. His name was George Judy. George Judy. Two first names. And he was so cute, this Southern gentleman. And I go into his office and I knock on the door and I go, what happened? And he said, I knew you'd come because you really did a phenomenal job in that audition, and you really were the best person for that role. I said, so what happened? He said, well, what happened was you're five' eight and a half. You're almost five' nine. And everybody else that we've cast, we've already cast your mother, we've already cast your sister. And they're one's five three. One's five, two. So how are you gonna play the little sister if you're six inches taller than everybody else? And I said, oh, my God, this is, like, so frustrating. I was so mad, and I was crying. I was like, it can't be. It just can't be that my height is the reason. He's like, no, because it really. It really doesn't fit. And the girl who was almost as good was almost as good. And it'll have to do because she's 5:1, and, like, it'll just make sense. Three months goes by, and they're putting up the show. And I know it's gonna be this weekend. And I was so bitter that I, like, didn't even wanna go see it. And my sister calls and she tells me she lives in New York at the time. And she says she's gonna be flying down to Orlando, which is about four hours from where I went to school in Tallahassee, Florida. And she said, I'm coming down this weekend. Do you wanna meet me on Sunday? And she said, I'll have a few hours because I'm coming for a long weekend, but I could see you in the morning on Sunday. And I'm like, okay, maybe that's why I'm not going to be in this play. Because my sister happens to be flying down and I haven't seen her in about six months. And. Okay, I guess that was the reason, is I'll be able to drive down to Orlando because I won't be doing a show Friday night, a show Saturday, and a show on Sunday. I'll be seeing my sister in Orlando. Okay, that must be the reason. So I think, okay, I'm gonna drive down Saturday night. So that waking up Sunday morning, and I thought to myself, I'll find, like, a hotel, and I'll stay in a hotel Saturday night. So these are the days where in order to get in touch with someone, you had to call your answering machine to get a message from that person because you couldn't call each other. There were no cell phones. My kids were like, mom, what are you talking about? So I call my answering machine over and over and over again. No message from her. No message from her. And I'm in some, like, Best Western by myself in Orlando, feeling like this doesn't. This feels scary and weird, and, why am I here? And she actually had said that most likely she could hang out with me Saturday night and Sunday morning. And yet I don't get a message from her. So I go to sleep that night feeling pretty lost and pretty freaked out and not knowing, you know, what's going to be. And I wake up in the morning and I get a message from her. And she said, I'm so sorry I didn't call you last night. I. I'm here in Orlando spending a Sabbath. Like, it's like a Shabbaton, it's called. She said, I got here on Thursday and Thursday, Friday and Saturday. I was with this rabbi from Jerusalem, and he was teaching us this spiritual wisdom. And I was with 200 people at this retreat site. And her friends in New York City had told her to come with them on this experience. And she said, I had such a profound Experience. And we were up late Saturday night and I didn't call you because I was so swept up in this like unbelievably life changing experience that I also did. She doesn't have a cell phone, remember? She's like, I would have had to go to someone who had a phone, you know, to then call your machine. And she's like, I'm so sorry. I didn't go to bed till 2am so she says, write this down. This is the address for the retreat center. So I'm writing down and this is before gps, okay? And I'm writing it down and it's in the middle of the woods in Orlando is this place I'm looking for. Okay? So this is. I don't have GPS. I don't have like MapQuest, right? I'm just going to find her. So at 9am I get in my car and I'm like, all right, she has to be within like 20 minutes of me getting lost. Now I'm back on a freeway. Now I'm in the wrong direction. Now I'm in Kissimmee. Is Kissimmee Orlando. What? That's Disney World. Like, I don't know where I am. It was like very, very frustrating. And the hours are rolling by and she had told me that she's going to leave for the airport at noon and if I can get there by 10, we can spend a couple hours together before her shuttle takes her and her friends to the airport. And I roll up to this retreat site at 12:15. And I was realizing that the whole thing was for naught. And I had driven there for no reason. I was very frustrated. And I'm about to get back in the car and drive four hours back to Tallahassee thinking the whole thing was so unnecessary. And this man starts walking towards me and he says, hello. He says, are you Barbara Heller's sister? And I go, yeah, is she here? And he said, no, she left like 25 minutes ago. And I said, oh. And I start crying. And part of the reason I started crying is because, you know, when you meet someone who's so loving, all of a sudden you just feel like you could cry because you just feel there's something warm about this person, that actually somebody's there to really witness them. So I just start crying. And he says, I'm so sorry, you know, you missed her by 25 minutes. And I'm like, okay, well, all right, well that's really frustrating. And I'm crying and he says, listen to me. He says, I Know this sounds crazy, he said, but we were up really late last night, and I was running this event. There was 200 people here, and I didn't get a lot of sleep, and the last shuttle left 25 minutes ago. And then I was going to go take a little nap, and something told me to wake up, and something told me to go outside. And he said, the last thing your sister told me is, you have to meet my sister. And she was crying, and she said, I wish she would have been on this experience. You have to meet her. And he said, and here I am. And maybe he said, the. The way that God runs the world is you're so loved that you're right on time, because maybe you thought you were coming here to see her, but maybe for some reason you came to see me. Like, maybe we're supposed to have lunch. And maybe that was the whole point of the journey. I don't know. But maybe so. And for a second, I'm like, is this guy hitting on me? Like, what's happening? And then I realized, like, he's not hitting on me. And he says, so I just have one really important question for you. I said, what's that? And he said, do you like tuna fish? And I'm like, what? He's like, let's go have some lunch. He's like, I have some extra, like, egg salad, tuna. Like, let's go have lunch. And we go sit down and we talked from 12:15 till when the sun set. And he said, what are you doing in your life right now? And I said, well, I'm graduating college in about three months. He said, what are you doing? Then I said, I don't know. And I told him about my whole life and how, like, you know, my parents had gotten divorced and my mom had struggled with depression my whole life. And I was, like, looking for real answers in the universe. And that I had been studying. I was a world religion major, and I was, like, looking for, like, real purpose in my life. And he said, would you want to come to Jerusalem after you graduate and learn the spiritual teachings and these tools? And I said, well, I don't have a way to, you know, afford to come there or whatever. And he said, you're going to come. He said, we have a place for you in the old city of Jerusalem, and we're going to fly you out there. He said, because I can tell you, he said, I've met so many people in my life. And he said, you are meant to be such a deep spiritual teacher. He said, you're going to lead so many people home to who they are and to the power within themselves and to the love that they're meant to shine. He goes, I'm just telling you. He goes, I just work from instinct. This is your path. And so I step back and I think about how if I would have been cast in that play, which is what I thought I wanted, if I would have been six inches shorter, I wouldn't have gone to Orlando, and maybe it would have led me in a different direction, Maybe I would have graduated, Maybe I would have started auditioning for shows in New York, whatever it was. Instead, I got on a flight the day after graduation and on a whim, moved to Jerusalem and started studying Kabbalah and started understanding the most incredible truths and the most incredible ways to look at reality and expand my consciousness. And I thought I was going to be there for maybe a few months. And I stayed there for three years. And those days I felt richer than I could ever tell you. I felt like somebody had taken control alt delay and cleared the browser history on everything I thought I knew about life. And embedded in me a way of looking at the world and a consciousness that has given me everything in my life because I got lost in Orlando. That is really available to all of us is to start to become available for seeing that everything is happening exactly as it needs to.
- [33:45]
Podcast Host / Interviewer
Why do so many people achieve everything they they wanted and still feel unfulfilled?
- [33:50]
Kathy Heller
You wake up in the morning and your mind is like, here's what I'm lacking. This is the success I want. This is the success I don't have. This is the relationship I want. This is the one I don't have all that stuff, right? As if what you're in this life for is this feeling of being impressive or accomplishment or success. The truth is that our soul isn't really interested in those things that make us feel, quote, unquote, successful. Our soul is chasing significance. And so every single day there's an infinite amount of opportunities to feel significant by. When we bring beautiful, good energy into a room, it is so effective. Like, it changes people's whole day, right? When, when, if we were to set out and instead of saying, like, oh my gosh, I'm so aware of how I compare myself to others or what I don't have, instead of all of that rigmarole, if we were to wake up every day and say, God, I want to feel significant. And I want you to make it so obvious to me how by the time I go to sleep tonight, I made a difference. I was able to change someone's whole day or life because I got to be that person in their life. Today, you would be blown away how you could literally do that multiple times a day. Recently, I went to get my car fixed. There was, like, a. You know, the light came on on my car, and I had to take it into service. So I go to take it in, and they gave me a loaner car. And so I take the key, and this woman sitting next to me, she's crying, she's so upset. And I said, are you okay? And she's like, I'm so angry. My car's old. It's 10 years old, so I don't qualify anymore for a loaner car. And I thought this was gonna be an hour, but it's gonna be 10 hours. They just told me by the time they fix my car, and I'm not gonna be able to get to work because I passed the point of, like, getting a loaner. So I basically have to sit here in this, like, you know, service center all day long, and it's very, very frustrating, and I. I'm just so frustrated. And I called my son, and he's in college, but he can't come pick me up and whatever. I'm just gonna sit here all day. And I said to her, hang on a minute. I said, what if this is happening for you? I said, have you needed a day off in a while? And she's like, what do you mean? And I said, well, I don't know. Is your boss really demanding? And she goes, I work for myself. I go, oh, that's interesting. I said, well, right now, there's, like, a really good cappuccino machine right there. The air conditioning's on. You have a phone, which could lead you to, like, podcasts or books or whatever. And I wonder if you're being forced not to work today if you have to actually take the whole day just for you. And she said, oh, my God, you're right. She's like, I have. I'm so overworked, and I never take a vacation. And I said, and I wonder if actually this is a gift for you. And next thing I know, the guy hears us having this conversation, and he's like, oh, my God, that's so nice. That's so sweet. Meanwhile, apparently, she had been, like, you know, yelling a minute ago, and she goes, I'm sorry I yelled. She's like, I was just so upset. And he's like, you know what? He's like, I really Appreciate it. He says, my friend who's in the service center, he's going to be on lunch in about an hour. He's going to just drive you home. And she goes, no, I'm going to stay. She goes, I realize this is true. I'm going to spend the entire day. And I thought, how? And she thanked me. And I said, I feel so blessed that I could go home feeling like I did something, that I was at the right place at the right time in this opportunity to change the way somebody feels and to change their entire day, right? And so the ego is so obsessed with itself. It's like, me, me, me. What's not working for me? How are things not working out? How am I not fulfilling my role? How am I not proving my existence? And instead, what if we woke up every day and said, I want to change the world for one person every day? And I wanna tell you one other story. So this woman, she was looking for a way to start giving back. It's a true story. It's crazy. And so she said, I wanted to do the next good thing I could do. So she's walking out of, like, a coffee shop, and she sees there's a bulletin board with, like, this little, you know, you could take a number kind of a thing. And it says, looking for volunteers. And she says to herself, I said, I'm going to do the next good thing that is offered to me to do. And it says, n O D A. No one dies alone. And she's like, oh, no, this seems like a big one. Like, what is this? So she tears off the number and she calls, and the woman on the other end says, oh, are you looking to volunteer? We could use volunteers. And she says, sure, what is it? How do I get involved? And she said, basically, we work with people in hospice who do not have friends or family. And in order for people to not die alone, it's called no one dies alone. And you can volunteer to just sit beside somebody who doesn't have anyone to come visit them in their last days. And she's like, okay, I'll do it. And so a few days later, they pair her up with this old man and she goes and she sits beside him. And you never know how long it's gonna be. You don't know how long the person has. And about two and a half weeks go by, and she is there every day until he passes. And she said that something happened where by the time he died, she had so much love for this man, she was weeping and she had Just met this person, and he was barely conscious the whole time, so she couldn't believe that she felt so much grief. And she called her mom. She was leaving the day he died. And her mom said, yeah, you sound really sad. And she's like, you know, I've been doing something the last couple weeks. I didn't mention it to you, but I volunteered. And she shares the experience with her mother. And her mother says, what was his name? And she said, oh, why? Why do you care? Like, what does it matter? And she said, I don't know. I just curious what his name was. And she shares the name, and her mom's dead silent on the phone. And she goes, mom, are you there? And her mom starts to cry, and she says, mom, why are you crying? And she said, honey, that man is the OB GYN who delivered you. And she says, what I never told you because I didn't want you to actually walk around with the story your whole life, is that when you were born, there were a lot of complications, and you wound up in the NICU for a couple days, but he totally saved your life. And she said, and isn't it amazing that the divine order of things would lead you to thank him for that by walking him to the gate? And so she said, it's just so wild. And her mom said, you know, for your. For your sister and brother, we had moved to a different town, so I had a different obgyn. And so it's just never come up the name of your doctor because, you know, that was like a blip in time. But she said, I'm so moved to tears that the odds of that happening, and it happened, and you felt what you felt not knowing this person sitting right in front of you is the reason you're here. And you repaid it. And so I hear stories like that, and I think to myself, our egos are so cheap, right? They're like, you know why you're gonna have a bad day today? Because this isn't working out for you. You know why you're gonna have a bad day today? Let me litigate. Why you should have a bad day, why you should be down all day when really your soul is like, I came for a much bigger dream. I'm not here for stuff. I'm not here to be impressive. I'm here to have moments like that that tell me without a shadow of a doubt that we are on a soul path and that we are here with an assignment and that there's something so much bigger than us that runs the world and moves things together in perfect divine order. And see, that's the thing when you start looking at the world and that's what you're scanning for, it's almost impossible to have a bad day. So when people say to me, well, I don't really buy it, like, how do you have such a good day? It's a shift in the entire foundation of how I'm looking at my life, right? Instead of looking at my life from what's in it for me, I'm looking at my life from God. Where can I be of service? And where can you show me today that you've walked me right to this moment and that there is a reason that every single thing led me here? And if that's the question you ask every day, guaranteed, guaranteed, you will feel that reason and you will feel grateful that you could be there in those moments. And if we all did that, we'd make the world unbelievably amazing.
- [43:16]
Podcast Host / Interviewer
That was so fun. Here are the takeaways.
- [43:18]
Kathy Heller
Number one.
- [43:19]
Podcast Host / Interviewer
We really have very little control over anything in our life except for how we perceive things. Number two, the task we've been given in this life is to learn how to manipulate our own energy. It's to take our own energy into a higher vibration. Number three, your soul actually wants a moment where you know without a shadow of a doubt that there are forces in the universe so much bigger than you, guiding you where you're meant to be. Number four, you're always at the right
- [43:42]
Kathy Heller
place at the right time.
- [43:43]
Podcast Host / Interviewer
Number five, text yourself back. Let yourself do what feels good to you.
- [43:47]
Kathy Heller
Number six.
- [43:48]
Podcast Host / Interviewer
In every given moment, since God is infinite, every possibility already exists. Thank you so much for listening. I never take it for granted. Make sure that you follow us wherever you're listening. And if you enjoyed this episode or any episode, please leave us a review and a rating. Here's a review that we recently got on the episode with Amy Purdy, and it's from CM2. What an amazing episode. Thank you, Amy, for sharing your story. Amen. Amy is such a gift. If you haven't left a review yet, go ahead and do that. It only takes a minute and you might just hear me read it on a future episode.
- [44:19]
Kathy Heller
Before we hop off, I just want
- [44:20]
Podcast Host / Interviewer
to remind you that on August 2nd and 3rd, I'm hosting Kathy Heller Live, the Divine Download. It's a live summit in Los Angeles and I want you in the room. We're going to spend two days together, shifting your energy, dropping the perfectionism, and tuning your frequency to abundance so that you can actually start having the level of joy that you know has always been your destiny. This is beyond just another event. It's an immersion into your own potential. We'll have fireside chats with amazing friends of mine like Samantha Skelly and Craig Siegel and Alyssa Nobriga and Rudy Ricksteins and Mignon Francois. And we're going to do so many fun things in that room. You want to be there. Plus, we have a VIP option for a small group of you if you want to have an extra day. Plus you want front row seats. We have a VIP day, too, so go to kathyheller.comsummit right now and grab your seat. I cannot wait to see you in Los Angeles. I love you so much. I'll talk to you next week.