Avoiding the Smooth Tongue of the Adulteress

Summary

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The CBMW Podcast

Episode: Avoiding the Smooth Tongue of the Adulteress
Date: April 24, 2026
Host: CBMW

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Overview

This episode delves deeply into Proverbs 5, examining the devastating consequences of adultery—emotionally, spiritually, and relationally. The host explores how adultery seduces through subtle emotional and spiritual compromises, and offers biblical strategies for resisting temptation and maintaining marital faithfulness. The central theme: Adultery is not just a physical sin but often starts with small, unchecked compromises in the heart and mind, culminating in destruction unless resisted with vigilance and by seeking satisfaction in God and one’s spouse.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Real-World Devastation of Adultery

• Anonymous Letter (01:29–05:44):
  The host shares a powerful, anonymous testimony from a pastor’s wife whose husband committed adultery. The letter details:
  • Emotional agony, family breakdown, children’s crisis of faith, and deep, lasting wounds.
  • “Adultery is worse than death. Its effects are so far-reaching that people never forget it or fully recover from it.” (04:34)
• Reflection:
  The host highlights that such catastrophes result from a “spiritual pathology” of small, uncrucified choices and lustful thoughts, emphasizing adultery rarely happens impulsively, but grows from prolonged compromise.

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Biblical Diagnosis: The War Against Lust

• Scriptural Mandate (05:44–07:04):
  • “The Bible’s clear about the ruthless war that we’re to wage against our own lusts.” (05:44)
  • Adultery always begins within the heart—Jesus’ teaching that whoever lusts has already committed adultery in his heart (07:02).
• Sobering Warnings:
  The episode repeatedly asks listeners to self-examine: Are you testing limits? Are your unchecked fantasies putting you on the path to destruction?

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Proverbs 5: Recognize, Avoid, and Counteract the Adulteress

1. Recognize the Adulteress (07:12–16:17)

• Characterization (08:09–09:42):
  Explains “adulteress” as one who disregards God’s law, not merely a woman but a personification of foolishness and forbidden sexuality.

  • Clarification: The lesson applies to both men and women, depending on context (10:29–11:05).

• The ‘Smooth Tongue’ (11:07–13:13):

  • The adulteress seduces with “flattering lips”—honey-sweet words and sensual appeal.
    • “She knows how to appeal to the ego of a man… tell him the stuff that he wants to hear.” (12:00)
  • The father’s advice: the fight for holiness is a fight for who you will listen to.

• Sin’s Bitter Fruit (13:49–16:17):

  • Sin promises sweetness, but delivers “bitterness as wormwood, sharp as a sword.”
  • “Can a man take fire into his bosom and his clothes not be burned?” (15:04)
  • The adulterer is a fool, believing they can play with fire and escape harm.

2. Avoid the Adulteress (16:17–26:03)

• Flee, Don’t Engage (18:40–21:29):

  • “Keep your way far from her and do not go near the door of her house.” (18:47)
  • The host emphasizes fleeing temptation—not even engaging, echoing Joseph’s flight from Potiphar’s wife (21:10).
  • “If you are not fleeing, you’re sinning.” (20:18)

• Consequences of Failing to Flee (21:46–24:44):

  • Loss of vigor, respect, family, and possibly soul.
  • “If you don’t view sin as a potential pathway to hell, you’re not thinking about it correctly.” (23:36)
  • Public humiliation and regret: “I should have listened when I had the chance, but I didn’t do it.” (24:27)

• Irrevocable Loss (24:44–25:24):

  • “You can’t get this genie back in the bottle.” (24:47)
  • Some wounds and losses may never heal, even if forgiveness is possible.

3. Counteract the Adulteress (27:31–32:59)

• Satisfy Desires at Home (27:56–31:26):

  • “Drink water from your own cistern… rejoice in the wife of your youth.” (27:56)
  • Intimacy in marriage is encouraged as both a safeguard and delight.
    • “Solomon is telling his son that one way to take your eyes off the adulteress is to keep them trained on your bride.” (29:40)
  • 1 Corinthians 7 referenced: marital intimacy as protection from sexual temptation.

• Ultimate Accountability (31:45–32:59):

  • “For the ways of a man are before the eyes of the Lord, and he watches all his paths.” (31:49)
  • Listeners are reminded: Even hidden sins are seen by God and will be brought into account.

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Practical Application: The “Six E’s” of Adultery (33:14–37:46)

Tommy Nelson’s acrostic for the path to adultery:

1. Eliminate:
   Intimacy dries up in marriage; relationship becomes functional only (33:48).
2. Encounter:
   Meeting someone attractive outside the marriage (34:24).
3. Enjoy:
   Emotional bonds form and become as satisfying, or more so, than relationship at home (34:33).
4. Expedite:
   Looking for opportunities to be together, lingering, seeking private communication (35:16).
5. Expression:
   Subtle emotional declarations, building clandestine trust (35:46).
   • “You’re dead. You are dead in the water. You’ve built a bridge to Fantasy Island and you’re going to walk across it.” (36:09)
6. Experience:
   Physical consummation; the full-fledged affair (36:58).

Warning:
Adultery in the heart begins long before physical acts—unchecked emotional and mental infidelity is already unfaithfulness (37:35–37:46).

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• On Temptation’s Lie:
  “Sin promises sweetness, but it never ends that way.” (13:49)
• On Responsibility:
  “You will answer to God for what you do. God knows and sees everything, and you will answer to him for everything that you do.” (31:45)
• On Repentance and Hope:
  “We believe that Jesus was crucified and raised for us and that we have forgiveness from sin—all sin, adultery, adultery in the heart because of him.” (End Prayer)

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Timestamps of Key Segments

• 01:29 – Anonymous letter: Testimony of adultery’s impact
• 05:44 – The “spiritual pathology” behind adultery
• 07:12 – Proverbs 5 and the smooth tongue of the adulteress
• 13:49 – Sin’s empty promise & biblical warning
• 18:40 – The call to flee temptation
• 21:46 – Consequences of succumbing to temptation
• 27:56 – Drink from your own cistern: the role of marital intimacy
• 31:45 – Ultimate accountability before God
• 33:14 – Tommy Nelson’s “Six E’s” of adultery
• 38:53 – John Bunyan’s “Eye Gate”: how temptation enters

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Conclusion

The episode offers a sobering, scriptural challenge: Recognize, avoid, and counteract with vigilance any step toward adultery, beginning in the heart and mind. The path to destruction starts subtly—with fantasy and emotional drift. The antidote is diligent self-examination, accountability, marital intimacy, and remembrance that all our ways are before the Lord. Repentance and grace remain available for those who turn, but prevention is the true wisdom.

“The wise man knows that it is better to learn in the gentle classroom of God’s word than the harsh chambers of his discipline.” (25:24)

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Transcript

[A]

Let's pray together. Father, you know that we are but dust and that we are not now what? We will be. Prone to wander. Lord, I feel it prone to leave the God I love. We feel the law of sin raging in our members. And so, Father, we pray that you would come to us through your word and by the power of your spirit. We, working through your word, bring us all the way home. So open up our eyes that we may behold wonderful things from your law. Incline our hearts to your testimonies and not to dishonest gain. Establish your word to your servants as that which produces reverence for thee. And Father, we pray for you to do it in Jesus name. Amen. Please be seated. In 1994, a pastor's wife wrote an

[B]

anonymous letter to Ministry magazine telling the

[A]

world about the fallout from her husband's recent adultery. And this couple belonged to a church that we probably would not even recognize as a church. But I want to read to you what she said. This is a little longish, but I think it's worth reading to you. She said this.

[B]

I used to be a pastor's wife. My husband was a successful soul winner and an excellent speaker. For 25 years. His warm personality and flirtatious manner won him many lady friends. I accepted this as part of his sanguine personality. Then something happened.

[A]

He committed adultery.

[B]

Who was the other woman? Someone my husband had studied with and baptized. As he showered her with attention and devotion, I saw many warning signs of emotional ties being formed. Several times I confronted him about it, but he convinced me I was mistaken. He made me feel foolish for even suggesting that there could be a problem. After all, the other lady was my close friend too. She sat beside me in church every week with her husband and two children. She shared holidays and special events with us. She bought me gifts and told me she loved me and valued our special friendship. We often prayed together. I found out later that she fell in love with my husband the first time they met. The combination of her infatuation and his flirtatious personality proved combustible, and they found themselves playing with fire. When the truth finally came out.

[A]

The affair already had been going on for two years. My first reaction was disbelief.

[B]

Then came devastation.

[A]

I felt as though my heart had

[B]

been ripped out and I was only half a person. My husband didn't acknowledge my hurt or seem to care at that point. Emotionally, I couldn't deal with the little things of life, much less the bigger things. Financially, I couldn't afford to stay in our house and had to move. Meanwhile, having left all the responsibilities in my lap.

[A]

My husband moved into a motel with our friend.

[B]

Later he took up residence across the

[A]

street from my workplace and regularly attended my church.

[B]

Our children, though they are young adults, also felt devastated.

[A]

They still call me and cry. They wonder whether anything they ever believed in was true.

[B]

They question if God is real and

[A]

want nothing to do with religion. Life will never be the same for them.

[B]

Although time brings healing, I still hurt

[A]

every day for my children. They love their dad and want him to be okay. They try to be supportive.

[B]

To do this, they must accept the other woman as something of a stepmother

[A]

instead of a family friend, knowing that

[B]

they will lose any hope of a

[A]

relationship with their father unless they accept the situation on his terms. Nevertheless, for them, the hurt just doesn't go away.

[B]

My point in writing this story is

[A]

to help pastors and other spiritual leaders realize that adultery is worse than death. Its effects are so far reaching that people never forget it or fully recover from it.

[B]

How does a man get to the

[A]

point that he is willing to lose everything to take up with a woman that is not his wife?

[B]

How does a guy get to the

[A]

place that he would break his wife's heart and lose the respect of his children for the rest of his life? This kind of thing doesn't happen typically overnight.

[B]

It has a spiritual pathology that traces back behind a hundred bad decisions, behind thousands of lustful thoughts taken to seed, behind countless moments of sinful self regard, never crucified in the name of Jesus. There are countless little compromises along the way that add up to a final calamity when the compromises go unchecked.

[A]

Now the Bible's clear about the ruthless

[B]

war that we're to wage against our own lusts. Therefore, do not let sin reign in your mortal body, that you should obey its lusts, but put on the Lord Jesus Christ and make no provision for the flesh in regard to its lusts. The Bible is really clear about these things, but I wonder how many of

[A]

you are testing out the limits of compromise on this.

[B]

You allow lustful fantasies to go unchecked. You permit provocative images to have a

[A]

regular place before your eyes.

[B]

You pursue flirtatious banter with co workers

[A]

and with friends of the opposite sex.

[B]

And you find yourself pushing the envelope past boundaries in a sinister indulgence of your lusts. And I wonder if you might be able to perceive the spiritual pathology of

[A]

adultery in your own heart

[B]

before the

[A]

rot comes to full expression.

[B]

Jesus tells us that adultery begins within the heart, and so we must cut it at the root.

[A]

If we're to avoid its fruit.

[B]

Proverbs 5 is all about arresting lust

[A]

before it springs into full blown adultery.

[B]

In the first nine chapters of Proverbs, you see King Solomon writing to convince his son to listen to Lady Wisdom and not to Lady Foolishness. The first lady is the personification of wisdom. She cries out in the streets and lifts her voice in the open square, imploring the naive to come to her and to get wisdom and knowledge. The second lady is an adulteress. She's the personification of foolishness. And she's calling out in the street too, but she's like a black widow trying to lure flies into her web so that she can destroy them. So Solomon's telling his son, urging his son not to give attention to this foolish woman in the street, but to listen to Lady Wisdom. And almost the first thing that Lady Wisdom commands is to avoid the smooth

[A]

tongue of the adulteress.

[B]

And so Proverbs 5 is a poem that divides into three stanzas, each stanza instructing the son how to steer clear

[A]

of the smooth tongue of the adulteress woman. Three things here he says.

[B]

You got to recognize the adulteress, you've got to avoid the adulteress, and you've

[A]

got to counteract the adulteress. The first stanza is in verses one through six, recognizing the adulteress.

[B]

Look what he says.

[A]

Look at verse one, my son.

[B]

Give attention to my wisdom. Incline your ear to my understanding that you may observe discretion and your lips may reserve knowledge. For the lips of an adulteress drip honey, and smoother than oil is her speech. Now look at verse three there. My translation identifies this woman as an adulteress.

[A]

If you're reading the esv, it labels

[B]

her the forbidden woman. King James Version calls her the strange woman.

[A]

What's going on here with these different renderings?

[B]

Well, all of these translations are trying to render this one Hebrew term, zerah, which literally means the other woman or the strange woman. Now, this woman is strange not because she wears funny clothes or because she's socially awkward. She's strange because she operates outside of the laws and the customs of Israel. So she doesn't care about God's law.

[A]

That's what that means.

[B]

And God's law says one thing about the expression of our sexuality. She couldn't care less about that. She's a woman who's willing to go outside of the marital covenant with her sexual advances. And so this woman has a husband. We think chapter six talks about the adulterous woman. She has a husband. And so that's why we call this strange woman. Sometimes we render it as her as an adulteress.

[A]

But really, if we're being true to

[B]

the text, we would have to see in her the qualities of any woman who is willing to pursue sexual relations

[A]

with a man that she is not married to. Now, let me stop right here and just say something in parentheses.

[B]

It would be wrong for you to

[A]

conclude that this text is portraying women as the reason that adultery exists in the world. Okay.

[B]

That's not what this text is doing. This text is written from a father to a son, which means the father is telling. This is the kind of advice you'd expect the father to give to a son. These are the kinds of women that you need to avoid. If this were written from a mother to a daughter, it would be about the kinds of men that a daughter needs to avoid. Don't think that this only has application to men or that this is singling out women for censure. No, this has principles for all of

[A]

us, men and women.

[B]

So the focus here is on what kind of woman this son should avoid. And Solomon wants his son to listen to his teaching. But this woman, she has something to say as well. For the lips of an adulteress drip honey, and smoother than oil is her speech. This woman speaks in a sexually provocative way. It says, her lips are dripping honey, which probably I think, has a double meaning. First, it means that the words that are coming out of her mouth are sweet to listen to. That's what it means.

[A]

Points.

[B]

She's a flatterer. Proverbs 2:16 says that the adulteress is one who flatters with her words. Chapter 7, verse 21. With her many persuasions, she entices him. With her flattering lips, she seduces him. So this woman knows how to appeal to the ego of a man. She knows how to tell him the stuff that he wants to hear. She knows how to say the things that he feels like he's missing from his stale marriage at home. She knows that there's nothing more alluring to a man than a woman who flatters him with compliments about his worthiness and attractiveness. And so that's what she does.

[A]

And her words are designed to reel him in.

[B]

But her lips don't just represent her words. Think about this. What else are lips for? They're for kissing, and her lips have honey on them. This woman has a mouth that is a sensual temptation to the man. In fact, the text literally reads that her palate is smoother than oil. So it's a reference to the inside of her mouth. So she's appealing to his ego, but she's also appealing to him sensually. And so there's this powerful temptation for the son to stop listening to his father and to begin paying attention to

[A]

the lips of this woman.

[B]

And so the question is, who's he

[A]

going to listen to?

[B]

The real question is, who are you

[A]

going to listen to?

[B]

For every one of us, the fight

[A]

for holiness is really a fight for who we're going to listen to.

[B]

It's a fight for faith. Who are we going to believe? Are we going to believe God's word about what will satisfy us and make us happy? Or are we going to listen to the pervasive lie that sin will satisfy

[A]

us more than God?

[B]

The Father warns the Son that the honey dripping from her lips is a phantom because sin promises sweetness and pleasure, but it never ends that way. And so you look at verse four. But in the end, she is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two edged sword. Her feet go down to death, her steps take hold of sheol, which means the grave. She does not ponder the path of life. Her ways are unstable and she does not know it. Wormwood is a bitter tasting plant. And so Solomon's trying to tell his son, listen, you may start out tasting honey, but you will end up with bitterness in your mouth. Not only that, the adulteress is like a two edged sword, meaning that ultimately adultery will bring a man to death. I think he's saying that because the penalty for adultery under the Mosaic law was death. And so Solomon's saying to his son, if you commit adultery, it may very well cost you your life. There's a parallel to this text in

[A]

chapter 6 in verse 27, in which

[B]

Solomon asks the rhetorical question, and I'm

[A]

going to ask it to you, Can

[B]

a man take fire into his bosom

[A]

and his clothes not be burned? Now the obvious answer to the question is no.

[B]

But the adulterer is a fool because he thinks that the answer is yes. The adulterer thinks that he can fire up a blowtorch right next to his shirt and that his shirt will never catch on fire, his skin will never be burned. But that's foolishness. And Solomon is saying, you need to understand adultery is like a fire. If you put it close to you, you will catch on fire, you will be burned. But the adulterer doesn't see this. All the adulterer sees is sin's promise of pleasure. He can't see. No, he will not see sin's real promise of pain. He thinks that he can take the fire of adultery right next to his

[A]

body and it will never hurt him.

[B]

But it's foolishness.

[A]

But he believes it.

[B]

Because he's chosen to block out the

[A]

truth of God's word only so he can listen to his passions.

[B]

So it's a fight for who you

[A]

gonna listen to, who you gonna believe?

[B]

So I wonder if any of you right now are playing with this fire. And maybe there's not a literal adulteress

[A]

whispering sweet nothings in your ear.

[B]

But I know that there are allurements in your life that tempt you to pursue sexual fulfillment outside the bonds of your marriage.

[A]

I know that they're there.

[B]

And if you are single, you too are facing allurements to pursue sexual fulfillment

[A]

outside of the covenant marriage. They're all around you.

[B]

And instead of believing God's word about

[A]

where this is going to lead you,

[B]

you think that you can have just a little indulgence here, a little indulgence

[A]

there, and then you're not going to get burned. And I'm asking you, who you going to believe? Where you think this is going to end up?

[B]

A little flirty banter with that woman

[A]

at the office, Some racy pictures on the Internet, fantasies about that other woman who's not your wife. And you think you can pursue these

[B]

little compromises of character without them ultimately burning you.

[A]

You're playing the fool.

[B]

You will not be able to coddle

[A]

evil indefinitely without it eventually burning your life down.

[B]

If you think that you can do

[A]

that, it's because you're believing the lie and you're not believing the Bible. Can a man take fire into his bosom and not get burned?

[B]

No.

[A]

Who you going to believe? You better decide now who you'll believe.

[B]

Because when the temptation turns into a fixation, the word of God will become

[A]

like a faint voice in the distance to you. And you won't be able to hear it above the seductive sounds slipping through the lips of the adulteress. So you've got to recognize the adulteress, which means recognizing the allurements for what they are.

[B]

But the second thing you've got to

[A]

do is you've got to avoid the adulteress. Look at verse seven.

[B]

Now then, my sons, listen to me and do not depart from the words of my mouth. Keep your way far from her and do not go near to the door of her house. Can you hear Solomon saying, listen to me. Pay attention to me. Not to her, to me. Keep your way far from her and do not go near the door of her house. Now notice the Father does not tell the Son to rebuke her. He doesn't tell him to raise his nose in the air and walk on by her. He doesn't tell him to try to witness to her. What does he say? Don't go near her. If you come within earshot of this woman, you are submitting yourself to her allurements and you are allowing temptation into your life. And so the wise person is the one who knows his own heart well enough to know that there are some

[A]

things that are too much for him.

[B]

We are crooked deep down, all of us. We know that even though we have the spirit of God within us, we still have a different law in the members of our bodies waging war against the law of our minds. And if you are a Christian, that law of sin is like a raging fire, that the spirit is subdued, subduing progressively throughout your life. That's what it means to be a Christian. The spirit is doing that to you. Having self control means that we don't do anything to throw logs onto that fire that the Spirit is working to put out. We don't welcome temptation into our lives. Temptation is like throwing logs on the fire. That's why Jesus taught us to pray. Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. That's why the apostle Paul commands us flee from youthful lusts and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart. God has not called you to resist this temptation. He's called you to flee from it. And if you are not fleeing, you're sinning. What did Joseph do when Potiphar's wife

[A]

summoned him to her bed? You know what happened there?

[B]

He ran. He got out of the of the sway of her allurements. He didn't even take time to get his coat. He ran. And if you would be faithful to Christ, you will run too. You will keep your way far from her and do not go near the

[A]

door of her house. What happens if you don't run?

[B]

If you don't flee the temptation, you

[A]

will eventually do the deed.

[B]

And if you do the deed, what happens? We'll look at verse nine.

[A]

Or

[B]

you will give your vigor to others means something like your strength to

[A]

others, I think, which is the idea

[B]

of life going out of a man

[A]

so that he's diminished in his vitality.

[B]

You will give your vigor to others and your years to the cruel one. And strangers will be filled with your strength. And your hard earned goods will go to the house of an alien. And you groan at your final end

[A]

when your flesh and your body are consumed.

[B]

So he's speaking of a guy giving his whole life away, basically because he chose to enter into this sin. But what's interesting here is that Solomon draws this straight line between the temptation to sin and the consequences of the sin. Did you catch that? So he hears the voice, and eventually

[A]

he's reaping his reward.

[B]

There's a straight line there. Now, there's lots of steps in between that go unmentioned. He doesn't mention all the choices that are made between temptation and falling to the temptation and reaping the consequences of the sin. He just says that if you allow yourself to fixate on the temptation, you're

[A]

going to do the deed

[B]

and you're going to suffer the consequences.

[A]

If you take fire close to you,

[B]

you're going to get burned.

[A]

You will lose the love of your wife. You will break her heart. You will lose the respect of your children. You may very well lose your family.

[B]

And by rights they can tell you

[A]

to take a hike.

[B]

And you may very well lose your soul.

[A]

If you don't view sin, your sin, as a potential pathway to hell. You're not thinking about it correctly.

[B]

And after all of the allurements are gone, and after there's no more honey for you to taste, after you've realized that you've burned your own house down

[A]

around your ears, then comes verse 12. And you say how I have hated

[B]

instruction and my heart spurned reproof. I have not listened to the voice of my teachers nor inclined my ear to my instructors. I was almost in utter ruin in the midst of the assembly and the congregation, meaning I should have listened when

[A]

I had the chance, but I didn't do it.

[B]

And then he says in the midst of the assembly and the congregation, which means that your humiliation and your regret will be public.

[A]

And it's then that you realize that you should have listened to the word of God at the beginning and not to your lusts.

[B]

But then it's too late.

[A]

You can't get this genie back in the bottle.

[B]

You can't undo what you've done.

[A]

You might be able to get forgiveness from your family, but you might not.

[B]

You will wish that you could rewind

[A]

the clock, but you won't be able to. And you will watch helplessly as the fire you started burns itself out. And you see your most precious things go up in a cinder. A wise man, a wise woman will not let this happen.

[B]

The wise man knows that it is Better to learn in the gentle classroom

[A]

of God's word than in the harsh chambers of his discipline. The wise person will stop all of this before it starts.

[B]

The wise person will see that temptation

[A]

to lust in an image or in a person and will turn away and crucify it. The wise person will keep his way far from her and will not go near the door of her house. That's what that means. So let's all check ourselves here for a second, okay?

[B]

We know that there's a straight line

[A]

between temptation to sin and the consequences of the sin. How are you doing over here with the temptation? How many of you are consistently fleeing temptation and running to accountability? Or maybe you have these little corners

[B]

of your life that are all in

[A]

the dark, no light. Nobody knows. These are just the little places where you pursue your lusts. Where do you think that's going to take you? It won't take you to heaven. It's not the path that leads to life. Do you view it that way? If you were handling temptation in a careless kind of a way? You're just coddling these little evils in your life. If you're doing that, you're bringing fire into your life on the foolish assumption that it will never burn you. You can't do that.

[B]

You can't.

[A]

You must not do that. You have to put to death the deeds of the body.

[B]

And that means fleeing from the enticements,

[A]

to lust and to immorality that are all around you.

[B]

If you would be like Jesus, this is something you are going to do

[A]

for the rest of your life. You're going to be waging this war until you take your final breath. And the first step is to flee temptation. So you've got to recognize this adulteress, and you've got to avoid this adulteress. And the final stanza here, you've got to counteract this adulteress. Look at verses 15 to to 2315

[B]

he says, drink water from your own cistern and fresh water from your own well. Now, how do you counteract the temptation

[A]

to listen to an adulteress well?

[B]

First you have to flee.

[A]

That's what verses 7 to 14 were all about.

[B]

But the second thing he says is that you must drink water from your own well.

[A]

That's very clear.

[B]

He's not talking about literal water here. He's comparing the sexuality of his wife to drinking water. And he's saying, son, you need to slake your thirst at home. Verse 16. Should your springs be dispersed abroad, Streams of water in the streets, which is Either a reference to his wife's sexuality

[A]

or perhaps a reference to his own virility.

[B]

Either way, it's about their sexual bond. Should your springs be dispersed abroad, streams of water in the streets, let them be yours alone, and not for strangers with you. Let your fountain be blessed and rejoice in the wife of your youth, As a loving hind did a graceful doe, Let her breasts satisfy you at all times. Be exhilarated always with her love. For why should you, my son, be exhilarated with an adulteress and embrace the bosom of a foreigner? Now, these metaphors hardly need explanation. This is an unambiguous description of the delights of the conjugal union between a husband and a wife. And Solomon is telling his son that one way to take your eyes off of the adulteress is to keep them trained on your bride. He's not saying that keeping the home

[A]

fires burning are going to be the

[B]

silver bullet against temptation.

[A]

Okay, it's not.

[B]

But he is saying that it is one of the means by which we

[A]

might avoid the seductions that confront us outside of the home.

[B]

He is saying that. I think that's why the Apostle Paul

[A]

spoke the way that he did to

[B]

the widows who were wondering whether or not they should remarry.

[A]

Do you remember this? First Corinthians 7, 8, 9.

[B]

I say to the unmarried, to the widows, that it is good for them if they remain even as I, but if they do not have self control, let them marry, for it is better to marry than to burn. Paul says that he wishes all could stay single like he did, but he nevertheless says that it's better to marry and to pursue those passions within the covenant of marriage than to pursue them outside. And actually marriage helps you not to pursue them outside. That's what he's saying.

[A]

Same thing.

[B]

1 Corinthians 7:2. Paul commands the married couples not to neglect the home fires, but because of immoralities, let each man have his own wife.

[A]

Let each woman have her own husband.

[B]

Verse 5. Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time that you may devote yourselves to prayer and come together again,

[A]

lest Satan tempt you because of your lack of self control.

[B]

So Paul is saying, I think essentially the same thing that the writer of Proverbs is. He's saying, when the home fires aren't burning, it's an occasion for Satan to get a foothold in your marriage and to expose either or both spouses to temptation. That's what happens. Do you want to avoid temptation?

[A]

Drink water from your own well and

[B]

everything that that entails. But avoiding the adulteress and drinking water

[A]

from your own well is not going to be enough. It's one thing, but it's not the only thing. Look at the end of Proverbs 5, 21.

[B]

I think here at the end, Solomon

[A]

invokes the ultimate accountability.

[B]

He says, for the ways of a

[A]

man are before the eyes of the Lord.

[B]

And he watches all his paths. His own iniquities will capture the wicked,

[A]

and he will be held with the cords of his sin. He will die for lack of instruction, and in the greatness of his folly, he will go astray. Which means, in brief, this. You will answer to God for what you do. God knows and sees everything, and you will answer to him for everything that you do. And you will eventually be laid bare. And God's going to lift the lid off all your little dark places. You don't have any secrets from him, and you will answer to Him. For most of you, the opportunity for adultery is not going to come to you initially, brazenly. It usually starts subtly, which means that

[B]

you're going to have to recognize those

[A]

enticements while they're still in the early stages. One of my favorite pastors, Tommy Nelson, he said it this way. He said, adultery is not a sexual deal. It's an emotional deal.

[B]

It's when another person, not your spouse,

[A]

gets into your heart and into your head. And so Nelson, he uses this acrostic, six E's, six words that begin with E. Because you, you get into adultery with ease. He says, I want to give you these six E's, all right? And if you haven't been writing anything down, write these down. Here are the six E's to adultery. Number one is eliminate. You eliminate intimacy in your own marriage.

[B]

There's no more dating, there's no more long conversations. There's no more affection and tender concern

[A]

for each other in your own marriage.

[B]

You're just going through the motions and

[A]

you end up with a maid and a gardener who happen to live in the same house. And the only thing you have in common is that you are raising the same kids. So you eliminate intimacy in your own marriage. And then the second E is that you encounter, you encounter someone else who's attractive to you. And they're good looking and they're sweet

[B]

and they're kind, servant hearted.

[A]

And so you feel a kind of

[B]

natural response of appreciation for them.

[A]

And this person seems to offer all

[B]

the things that you feel like maybe

[A]

you're missing in your own marriage. And so you do the third E. You enjoy. You begin to enjoy that relationship. And that person begins to take the place emotionally of your spouse. And it's at that point that you should have been backing away. But here's what people do. They will get hooked on it like a drug. And then they'll do the fourth E. They'll expedite. You begin to expedite opportunities to be with that person. You will be sure to stop by

[B]

the counter where that person works. You'll make sure that you make your way to his or her desk at work.

[A]

You'll place yourself right where you know

[B]

that person will be for lunch. And you will linger after work for

[A]

time with this person. You'll seek for opportunities to talk with them. Maybe you'll even call them on the phone. And then you go to the next E, which is deadly, which is expression.

[B]

At some point, the intimacy that you

[A]

feel is so exhilarating to you that

[B]

you think this other person, they might

[A]

feel the same way. And that's when Satan springs the trap.

[B]

And you build the most sinister trust

[A]

that you can have with a person outside of your marriage. And you don't just come out and say, hey, I'm in love with you. You're shiftier than that.

[B]

You just throw out a test line,

[A]

see if you can get a bite. I really enjoy visiting with you. She says, well, I just enjoy visiting with you too. So you say, sometimes I wish I could visit with my family the way I visit with you. She says, me too. I wish my wife and I could talk the way that you and I do. She says, I wish my husband were more like you. You're dead. You are dead in the water. You've built a bridge to Fantasy island and you're going to walk across it.

[B]

The emotional bond is there, and it's

[A]

just a matter of time before the physical relationship follows and you go to the last E. Experience. All you need is physical experience and you have a full fledged affair. Adultery. But I want you to notice here, all up to the last thing, you've been committing adultery in your heart all the way up to number six. You went right past all the warning signs. You just blew through them. I didn't do anything physically.

[B]

Well, you have heard that it was

[A]

said, you shall not commit adultery.

[B]

But I say to you, anyone who looks at a woman to lust for

[A]

her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

[B]

Isn't that what our Lord taught us?

[A]

What are you doing? I want you to notice where this whole process starts. It starts with the fires going out at home, husbands, The foxes get into your vineyard, destroy your intimacy with your own spouse. That's revealed in a faltering sexual intimacy. And that's where Satan has an opportunity to strike, and your flesh has an opportunity to strike. It all starts at home. John Bunyan. You all know him for Pilgrim's Progress. There's another book he wrote called the Holy War. And the Holy War is about a benevolent king named King Shaddai, who runs, who rules over a city, a city called Mansoul. Mansoul is a fortress city with impregnable walls all around it. But there were five gates in the walls.

[B]

There was the Eye Gate, the Ear

[A]

gate, the Mouth gate, the Field gate, and the Nose gate. King Shaddai had a sworn enemy, a giant named Diabolus. Diabolus is a traitor against King Shaddai. And so he sets out to lay siege to the city of Mansoul. But how would he get into Mansoul with these walls all around and these gates? He doesn't go to the Mouth Gate. He doesn't go to the Field Gate. He doesn't go to the Nose Gate. Rather, he lays siege at the Eye Gate and at the Ear Gate and at the Eye Gate and the Ear Gate. He sends his messenger to speak to the townspeople and to dangle forbidden fruit before their eyes. And when the people saw that the fruit was good for food and that it was a delight to the eyes, and when they heard the promises of Diabolus, the city fell. But there was no battle. The people within the city just opened the gates and they let him in. And Mansoul fell, and King Shaddai was thrown out. How will the devil conquer you? How will your flesh conquer you in this area of sexual immorality? He's going to lay siege to your soul, and he's playing a long game with you. He's going to try and breach the walls at your eyes and at your ears. He's going to try to get you to look at some stuff and listen to some stuff. And he will put the words of an adulteress in your ears. And he will try to entice you with beauty before your eyes. And if you're going to make a stand, you're going to have to fortify your Eye gate and your Ear gate. Let me pray for you. Father, we believe that Jesus was crucified and raised for us and that we have forgiveness from sin, all sin, adultery, adultery in the heart because of him. We confess that and believe it so. Father, I pray for those who need, who need to lay hold of that this morning, that you would help them to lay hold of the gospel of Jesus. But I'm also praying for those who are in this room. I'm praying for a specific people in this room who are well into the five E's and they've blown past some markers. Father, I pray that you would with your righteous right hand reach down and bring them back. That you would bring them running and repentance back. Bring them back from the brink. Let them throw the lid off of their dark places right now. And Father, I'm praying also for those who are here who've already gone through all six E's, And I'm praying you would bring repentance. I'm praying you wouldn't let them go to hell, but that you would draw them back to repentance. And Father, I'm praying for those who are here who have patterns of dealing with temptation that over the long haul are going to be deep ruts of unfaithfulness. I pray you would arrest those patterns right now. I'm praying for 10 years from now when a guy is tired and discouraged. And things are stale in his marriage. Bring this word back. And Father, we pray for you to do this in Jesus name, amen.