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The Christian Working Woman
Hosted by Mary Lowman · EN
The Christian Working Woman with Mary Lowman exists to encourage, equip and empower workplace Christians in the marketplace.
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Dealing with Men on the Job – 3
Yesterday00:03:00Tap to summarizeI want to examine a situation you may face, and that is managing or working with men who resent having a female manager or coworker. They may feel threatened by having a woman manager or peer, or their background could have prejudiced them against women in business. I was one of the first women in IBM sales; this goes back many years. There was an older salesman in my office who was totally against women in sales. He thought this was the worst move IBM had ever made. The first year I was in that office, he hardly spoke to me. He figured I wasn’t going to last; women couldn’t make it in sales, he thought, so why bother with me. For one year he observed and noticed I was having pretty good success at selling, making my quotas, winning some awards, etc. Then one day he watched me make a presentation to a prospect, and he was impressed. He began to ask me to make sales calls with him, and we became a very effective sales team. We became good friends and laughed about those early days. But it took time for him to change his attitude toward women in sales. Often time is the key word, and many women don’t want to give the men time to change. After all, we have our rights, don’t we? After all, we deserve our opportunity! After all, we have lots of lost time to make up and the business world owes us something, right?! That’s the world’s attitude. But as a Christian woman that is a totally anti-biblical attitude. We don’t have rights because we’ve given our rights over to our Creator and our Savior. We are his servants. That doesn’t mean we allow people to walk all over us, but it does mean our attitude is one of servanthood, not trying to get what’s coming to us. It means we have patience and compassion toward those men who are prejudiced toward women, even the ones who will never change. And that takes lots of prayer on our part. I encourage you to use these situations as opportunities to demonstrate what God’s love is all about. Go out of your way to understand them; ask God to help you see them through his eyes. Pray for their benefit and let God take care of the rest. That’s the most important and effective way to deal with men who have the wrong attitude toward women in the workplace.
Transcribe →Dealing with Men on the Job – 2
2d ago00:03:00Tap to summarizeI’m examining the various complications Christian working women can face in dealing with men on their jobs. With more women now holding management positions, it is no longer uncommon to find women managers with men reporting to them. These female management positions can be difficult at times. In trying to “get it right,” I’ve known women in management who overreacted by trying to be too assertive and working too hard at establishing their authority. Don’t let that feeling of insecurity cause you to overcompensate by being too rigid and demanding. On the other hand, I’ve also seen women who bend over too far backward to keep from intimidating male subordinates and to avoid coming on too strong, and this can cause weak managers who lack proper control. We need to find that natural, happy medium that allows us to be ourselves, to manage effectively in our own style, without being overly aware of the fact that we are female and they are male. Remember, you don’t have to manage like a man in order to be an effective manager. You need to have a good basic understanding of effective management techniques and incorporate those into your style. I’ve seen many women in the business world try to change their behavior to a tougher style, more like the men around them. It was obvious and frankly ineffective. As women, we should take advantage of our natural leadership and management abilities, instead of trying to manage like a man. The important thing is: Are you getting the job done well, using your people productively, and is the morale in good condition? If so, you’re a good manager, even if your style is different from men. Look at the women in Scripture who managed men: Deborah, Lydia, Priscilla, the Proverbs 31 woman, to mention a few. There was nothing tentative about their management style, but they managed as women. All were quite different from each other and different from male managers, as well.
Transcribe →Dealing with Men on the Job
3d agoTap to summarizeI’m examining a subject that is of interest to most women—men. In particular, the men in our working worlds. I think I speak for most women when I say life without men would be pretty dull. We’re more than glad to have them around, but when we enter the working world, we face some new challenges in our relationships with men. Frequently we’re engaged with men as peers, as managers, as subordinates. I can still see large sales offices where I began my career, jammed with desks to accommodate about 40 sales people, and there I was the only female sales rep surrounded by men on every side. I discovered quite quickly relating to men on the job was a new ball game, for which I was not particularly well prepared. I want to talk about the issues we face when we work closely with men on our jobs. For instance, is it alright to develop friendships with male co-workers? I think the answer is yes, with precautions! I worked with several nice men whom I considered good friends. They were married, so I was also friends with their wives. I’m often asked if it looks improper to have a business luncheon alone with a man. The business luncheon has become a way of life, and it can be helpful. I don’t believe it is improper, but I think the rule of thumb is, if in doubt, don’t. If you have any doubts, bring a third party along. I remember a young man telling me it seemed to bother his new wife when he had a business luncheon alone with a woman. My advice was if it bothered her, regardless of how innocent it might be, he should do everything possible to allay her fears. He might schedule those meetings in the office rather than at lunch. I’m reminded of the Scripture that says we should avoid even the appearance of evil. That’s a high standard, but we need to adhere to it particularly in our relationships with men on the job. People are watching us, and we represent Jesus Christ, so we must be ever aware of that responsibility.
Transcribe →Male/Female Relationships on the Job – II
5d ago00:14:28Tap to summarizeIt’s true that because of our natural tendency to be attracted to the opposite sex and because of the amount of time spent with coworkers on a daily basis, an attraction may very well occur on our jobs. Most of us have seen this happen or have experienced it ourselves. What does a Christian do when she or he feels an attraction to a coworker or senses a coworker is attracted to her or him? The very first moment you have any inkling this may be happening, ask yourself one critical question: Is either of you married? If the answer to that question is “yes,” your course of action is very simple and clear. It may not be easy, but it certainly is simple and uncomplicated. Biblical principles leave no room for debate or discussion on this issue: The marriage vows are sacred and in no circumstance is there ever a justification for a married person to have a relationship with someone else. That means you cannot allow any intimate words or feelings or looks or innuendoes to be exchanged between you and this other person. That is it! Final! If it means changing jobs or asking to be transferred, do it. There is no middle ground for a true Christ-follower. The answer is the same even if one of the people involved is experiencing a difficult marriage. Many times, people tend to justify illegitimate relationships by rationalizing that one or both of them is in a very unhappy marriage. The condition of the marriage in no way changes the principle by which Christians should abide. As Christians we should do everything possible to help hurting marriages find healing. Allowing a relationship to develop with a person whose marriage is shaky will do just the opposite. And let me warn you these attractions can happen even to people who have good marriages, even to singles who aren’t looking for a relationship. We all are vulnerable to the chemistry of male/female relationships, and we must be on our guard at all times. In today’s society I’m certain such a position appears to be very drastic, legalistic, eccentric, and inflexible. But that’s because we have become so infiltrated with the world’s philosophy, that basic Christian principles now appear archaic, even to some Christians. Remember, God’s principles work. While they are ageless, they are not outdated; they are there for our benefit. All of us could tell of people we know or perhaps our own experience where many lives have been harmed and ruined by disobeying this Christian principle. The thing we should remember is these sinful relationships are rarely planned. They just happen when the people involved fail to see the warning signs and stop it in the early stages. If you’re attracted to someone with whom you work, or he or she is attracted to you, and either of you is married, you don’t even need to pray about what you should do. When God’s Word gives a clear answer, there is no need to ask for special guidance. He will never lead us individually in a direction that is contrary to his written Word. You need to pray for wisdom and strength to do the right thing. Let me also advise you to take drastic and definite action. Don’t play “around the edges;” if you do, you’re truly playing with fire. If you think you can have long talks, quiet lunches, or innocent encounters without ever allowing it out of bounds, you don’t understand chemistry too well or you have too much confidence in yourself. Don’t be fooled by rationalizing you are just being a good friend. Many times, illegitimate relationships begin because one of those involved is a good listener. How many times have I heard a woman say, “He didn’t have anyone else he could talk with. I was the only friend he had, and I just couldn’t be unkind to him.” If he needs help and counseling, you are the wrong person to give it. That excuse just will not hold water. There is no good reason for you to ever allow a wrong relationship to develop. And keep this in mind: Even if the relationship does not become a physical one, it still can be harmful and wrong if it causes an emotional closeness that robs a marriage of intimacy. Some people find their needs met for companionship and understanding in a coworker and then exert no effort and find no need to develop that kind of closeness with their marriage partner. It’s another form of an affair. Jesus said: If your hand or your foot causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it from you; it is better for you to enter life crippled or lame, than having two hands or two feet, to be cast into the eternal fire. And if your eye causes you to stumble, pluck it out, and throw it from you. It is better for you to enter life with one eye, than having two eyes, to be cast into the fiery hell (Matthew 18:8-9). As Christians we should be very fearful of allowing ourselves to get into a tempting situation when we know the risks and dangers involved. Therefore, be prepared to take drastic action if necessary. God will honor you for that and will be able to bless you. But suppose you are single and so is he or she. Then what do you do when you’re attracted to someone with whom you work? Assuming he or she is a Christian, because you would not ever want to be seriously interested in someone who was not, you need to think through very carefully the potential dangers of having a relationship with a coworker. Common sense tells us such a relationship can cause complications. It tends to distract you from your job, and other coworkers may resent it if they feel it is affecting your work or their workload. It is almost impossible to keep these relationships quiet; usually everyone is aware. You may think no one knows, but that is rarely the case. Certainly, if one of you is in management and the other is not, you will be exposing yourself to widespread criticism. If it appears this relationship may be going somewhere, it might be good for one of you to change jobs or departments. You’ll be able to work in a more relaxed fashion, do a better job, and enjoy your relationship with more freedom. Now, let me examine a topic that is still an issue: sexual harassment on the job. I remember when someone told me how she and her female coworkers endured many years of sexual harassment from the top man in their organization. He continually made sexual remarks to them, asked them for sexual favors, threatened their jobs or promotions or raises if they did not cooperate, or if they reported him. And he was such a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, that others found it difficult to believe he could be that way. He chose the women he harassed carefully, making sure he had plenty of leverage and power over them, while at the same time never harassing others, so they would always deny the allegations against him. Finally, they were able to take action when their organization formed a committee for grievances. These women, after years of enduring his harassment, sought some legal advice and threatened a class action against the company. As a result, he was quietly urged to resign, which he did. She shared with me the pain and stress of those years she worked for him and the turmoil she went through in deciding whether to be a part of the action against him. She wondered if that was the thing a Christian should do; it went against her nature to take such legal action against another person. But I assured her she had done exactly the right thing. I truly believe it is not only our right but our responsibility to expose real sexual harassment, so other women can be spared the horror. Otherwise, by doing nothing, we can allow it to perpetuate. When we confront and accuse for the good of others, as well as ourselves, we are usually on good scriptural ground. Jesus certainly took strong action and had strong words of condemnation for those who were doing wrong in his day, but never out of strictly self-interest or revenge. I know this is not easy for women to do, because you can risk your career and your reputation. You need counsel and great wisdom. But you also need courage to do the right thing. Now, I also have some compassion for men who feel the climate is so sensitive, that anything they say or do could be misinterpreted by a woman who is looking for something to jump on. These pendulums do tend to swing in violent directions; balance is a rare commodity. But you know, if our conversations are circumspect, if we say and do only things that we would say and do if Jesus were right there with us, we won’t have to worry about false accusations. I would say to the men who have that concern, “Just treat the women you work with the way Jesus would treat them, and you can put your mind at rest.” Jesus many times made it a point to break traditional laws concerning how women should be treated in his day. By his actions we can be assured he did not approve of prejudicial attitudes toward women. He talked to women in public, he allowed them to be a part of his traveling entourage and to support his ministry, and he showed them great respect, all of which broke the Jewish traditions. If you’re in the secular workplace on a regular basis, you’re bound to run into some of these predicaments that arise from male/female relationships. But if we approach this part of our business lives with a commitment to uphold the name of Jesus Christ, and to make certain nothing in our lives brings dishonor to him, we will have the appropriate attitude, and he will give us guidance as we work our way through what can often be “touchy” situations. Remember, avoid that first step, that first look, that first thought that can lead to an inappropriate relationship.<...
Transcribe →The Joy Gap – 5
6d ago00:03:00Tap to summarizeThe Joy Gap exists between what you expect, what you need or want, and what you’re feeling. We’ve seen this gap can be caused by expecting too much of circumstances, successes and people, comparing yourself to others, and simply neglecting to do the things that close the Joy Gap, like increasing time with Jesus, who never disappoints. But what about those times when the gap doesn’t seem to close? When life is hard, when circumstances are heavy, when joy feels distant? It’s important to remember this: joy is not the same as happiness. Happiness is based on what’s happening. Joy runs deeper. Even in difficult seasons—even in grief, uncertainty, or waiting—joy can still be present. Not as a loud emotion, not like throwing a party, but as a quiet confidence; a steady assurance that God is with you and he’s going to be with you all the way through that tough time. You can be confident he is at work and he hasn’t forgotten you. Sometimes the Joy Gap remains for a while because God is doing something deeper than you can see. He’s strengthening your faith. He’s drawing you closer. He’s teaching you to depend on him in a way you never have before. And in those seasons, joy may not feel obvious—but it’s still there. If you’re in that place today, don’t be discouraged. Keep trusting. Keep walking. Keep turning your heart toward the Lord. Remember that small steps can still walk miles. Take small steps toward the Lord, because even when you don’t feel it, he is still your source of joy. The precepts of the Lord are right, giving joy to the heart (Psalm 19:8). You’ll find joy in the Word of God. Start your day focusing on the unfailing love of Jesus, and you will be much more joyful all day long, I promise. Reinforce some simple disciplines like this in your life and, in time, the Joy Gap will close. Not because everything around you changed, but because something within you did.
Transcribe →The Joy Gap – 4
1w ago00:03:00Tap to summarizeHow can you close the Joy Gap? The Joy Gap is the distance between what you expect from life or from your job or your relationships, and what you are experiencing. It’s the reality that even when things are good, when circumstances are favorable—even then they don’t bring the joy and satisfaction you expected. There’s a Joy Gap. But we’re not hopeless, we who are Christ-followers. We have the answer, but we have to put into practice what we know. Let me give you a few simple, practical ways to do that each day. First, practice gratitude. Joy and gratitude are closely connected. When you intentionally thank God for what he’s doing—even the small things—you shift your focus from what’s missing to what’s already been given. So often we just focus on the negatives, don’t we? It’s our sinful human nature that drives us that way, but we don’t have to be victims of that any longer. Be thankful. Speak words of thanksgiving all through the day, even if you don’t necessarily feel them. And refuse words of negativity. Be careful what you say to yourself. Second, guard your thoughts. If your mind is constantly filled with worry, comparison, or negative “what ifs,” your joy doesn’t stand much of a chance. The Bible teaches us to bring every thought into captivity and make it obey Christ. Dear friend, I encourage you to take that literally. When your thoughts start down negative territory, grab them and refuse to allow them to remain. Third, stay connected to God all day long. Just take time—every day—to talk with him, read his word, and listen. And all day long send up one-minute prayers for his joy to fill you. Focus on it all day. You’ll find the Joy Gap closes the more you are aware of and practice the presence of Jesus. And finally, live with purpose. When you’re doing what God has called you to do—encouraging others, serving, loving well—there’s a deep sense of joy that comes from knowing you’re right where you’re supposed to be. And over time, you’ll notice something beautiful. Joy becomes less dependent on what’s happening around you and more rooted in what God is doing within you.
Transcribe →The Joy Gap – 3
1w ago00:03:00Tap to summarizeThe Joy Gap is that space between the joy we expect and what we actually feel. This term—Joy Gap—is becoming a noticeable phenomenon in our culture—not just in Christian circles. The world needs joy—the people you know at work, in your family, next door, they all want joy and most likely many are experiencing this Joy Gap, even if they don’t recognize it. But the wonderful good news is that as followers of Jesus Christ, we have what is needed to close the Joy Gap. Real, lasting joy is not found in circumstances—it’s found in your relationship with Jesus Christ. That may sound simple, but it’s profoundly important and totally true. If your joy depends on things going well, then your joy will always be fragile. One disappointment, one change, one difficult situation—and it’s gone. But when your joy is rooted in Christ, it becomes steady. It doesn’t mean life is easy. It doesn’t mean you’re always smiling. But there’s a deep sense of peace, confidence, and assurance that isn’t shaken by what’s happening around you. The Bible calls joy a fruit of the Spirit. That means it’s not something you manufacture—it’s something God produces in you as you stay connected to him. C.S. Lewis’ said: “Joy is the flag that is flown from the castle of the heart when the King is in residence there.” Is the flag of joy flying from your heart, your face, your life, your words? Or is there a Joy Gap in your own life? If you’re feeling that Joy Gap, don’t try harder to fix your circumstances. Instead, draw closer to the One who is your joy. Spend time with Jesus—just you and Jesus. Talk to him. Read his truth in the Bible. Refocus your heart. Because the closer you are to him, the smaller that Joy Gap becomes.
Transcribe →The Joy Gap – 2
1w ago00:03:00Tap to summarizeWe are examining the Joy Gap—the difference between the joy we expect and the joy we actually experience. This Joy Gap has taken an identity of its own; people are noticing it and naming it and studying it. What is this Joy Gap and why does it happen? You might be in a Joy Gap if you find yourself thinking: “I thought I’d feel happier when I got here,” or “Why am I still restless?” or “I have so much to be thankful for—so why don’t I feel joyful?” The reason most often given for this Joy Gap is because of misplaced expectations. We tend to assign too much power to things, people, and circumstances. We think, “If this works out, I’ll be happy.” But no circumstance, no achievement—no matter how good—can carry that kind of weight. It’s an unrealistic expectation. Another reason is comparison. It’s so easy to look at someone else’s life and assume they’re happier, more fulfilled, more satisfied. But comparison quietly steals joy. It shifts your focus from what God is doing in your life to what you think he’s doing in someone else’s. Comparing yourself and your situation to others is a sure way to increase your Joy Gap. And then there’s fear—those “what if” thoughts. What if this doesn’t last? What if something goes wrong? What if I lose what I have? You can’t enjoy what you have for fear that you could lose it. That kind of fearful thinking can drain joy right out of the good things that are happening right now. And sometimes, the Joy Gap comes from simple neglect. When you’re too busy to stay connected to the Lord, your joy begins to fade—not because he moved, but because you did. But here’s the encouraging part: once you understand why the gap exists, you can begin to do something about it. I encourage you to think about what is stealing your joy. Satan loves to steal our joy. Ask yourself if you’re allowing unrealistic expectations or comparisons or fear to create a Joy Gap in your life.
Transcribe →The Joy Gap
1w ago00:03:00Tap to summarizeHave you ever reached something you really wanted—an achievement, a milestone, even a season of life—and then thought, “I expected to feel happier than this”? I want to examine what I call the Joy Gap. Actually, Joy Gap is a term used today to define the space between what you think will bring you joy and what actually does. For example, you may be experiencing a Joy Gap at work. That would be the gap between what you expect from your work or career, and what you actually feel. I was amazed to learn a recent study shows 61% of workers reported less joy at work than expected, which is a significant increase in the last few years. Furthermore, this Joy Gap at work is not limited to one type of job or career, but affects all industries, all company sizes, and all levels of organizations. Then there’s the Joy Gap in relationships. That’s the length of time between moments of joy in a relationship. That could be a marriage, a family relationship, a friendship—those important relationships in your life you expect to bring you happiness, but those moments are fewer and fewer and further apart. That’s a Joy Gap. We all have expectations. We think, “When this happens, I’ll finally feel content.” But then we arrive there—and the joy doesn’t quite match what we imagined—that gap can be confusing and discouraging. You might start to wonder, “What’s wrong with me? Why am I not happier?” But the truth is nothing is wrong with you. You’re just discovering something very important. You’re learning the things you often depend on for joy were never designed to fully satisfy you—and that includes even the good things. That’s why this Joy Gap matters. It’s not a failure. It’s a signal that maybe you’ve been looking for lasting joy in temporary places. The good news is there is a source of joy that doesn’t disappoint. A joy that isn’t based on everything going right.
Transcribe →Male/Female Relationships on the Job – I
2w ago00:14:28Tap to summarizeThe book of Genesis explains to us that it was God’s plan to create two sexes, male and female, both created equally in his image, both finding the other attractive, both needing each other, and different in many ways from each other. It was a good plan, and it is still good today, one that has brought a great deal of joy, happiness, and fulfillment into our lives, for both women and men. True, the plan has been misused and abused through the ages, and relationships between men and women certainly have caused many problems and heartaches. But that results from our lack of understanding of each other and our unwillingness to allow these relationships to be controlled by God’s principles. Often, we have close working relationships with the opposite sex, spending many hours each day working together, physically near each other, and communicating frequently. And sometimes we are not aware of the dynamics of these male/female relationships; many of us are in unfamiliar territory. I remember when I began my career as a sales representative for IBM. I was the only female sales rep in my office at first, and I can still see that large office, jammed with desks to accommodate about 40 salespeople, and there I was in the middle, surrounded by men on every side. Sounds like a dream come true for a single woman. While I certainly enjoyed the attention that my unique situation afforded me, I discovered quite quickly that I was not prepared to deal with the many diverse complications that arose from the male/female aspect of it. Having made some mistakes in this area of my business life, I think it is important to address this subject very directly and candidly, because many of you are struggling with male/female relationships on the job. Let me begin by talking about the friendships that can develop between male and female coworkers. It’s inevitable we will find some coworkers of the opposite sex with whom we share many experiences, whom we respect and enjoy, and a friendship develops. I can think of several men I’ve worked with whom I consider good friends, even years later. Friendships are good things, and I’m always grateful for a friend, wherever I find them. However, we must put up the caution flag and beware of the pitfalls that we can fall into with any friend of the opposite sex. I was a single woman and most of my male coworker friends were married. That’s probably pretty common. That should send up a flag that says it is our responsibility as single women to make certain their wives are comfortable with our friendship with their husbands and understand the nature of our relationships. I made it a practice, as these friendships developed, to become very good friends with their wives and families. They were invited to my home and I to theirs. I made certain they were not concerned in any way about my working relationship with their husbands. Had I sensed it bothered them in any way, I would have backed away from that relationship, even though their concerns would have been totally unfounded. A young man once asked my opinion about having a business luncheon with a woman alone, and he went on to explain that this seemed to bother his new wife. My advice was if it bothered her, regardless of how innocent or how convenient that business lunch might be, he should do everything possible to schedule those meetings in the office rather than at lunch. I think he should do everything he can to allay his wife’s concern, even though they may be unfounded. Some might say we should never have a business lunch alone with someone of the opposite sex, but I honestly don’t see this as a black and white situation. The business lunch has become a way of life, and it can be a convenient way to conduct business. There is nothing immoral or questionable about it. But each situation is different and requires wisdom and insight on our part. I think the rule of thumb should be, if in doubt, don’t. Or if it bothers your conscience, don’t. We know from Romans 14 there are some disputable matters where sincere Christians will have differing convictions; the important thing for us is not to condemn others, but to be certain we follow what we believe is right for us to do. A suggestion is to bring a third party along. That’s usually possible to do, and that solves the question of how it might look to others. Most of my peers while working in corporate America were men, which meant if I went to lunch with my friends, I usually went to lunch with men. But rarely was it alone. Now, let me address another issue with male/female relationships in the workplace, and that is women in management with men reporting to them. This is fairly common now. But it still can present problems for these women managers in knowing just how to relate to their subordinates and for the men who often have to adjust their mindsets and attitudes toward women in authority. I’ve encountered many who are struggling with a very basic question in this regard, and that is: Should a Christian woman hold a position of leadership over men? As I look at Scripture, I can find no directive that would prohibit women from holding management positions in business. To the contrary, I can think of many women within Scripture who did hold leadership positions over men. Deborah was a judge over her nation, and she led an army of men into battle (Judges 3 and 4). The Proverbs Woman (Proverbs 31) had both a manufacturing and a real estate business, which easily could have put her in a position of directing male subordinates. We know she managed her household of many servants, and presumably that would include male servants. Lydia was a seller of purple (Acts 16), which was a most prestigious position. She must have interacted with men and directed them at times. We know she had a large household under her management, and this household would most likely have included men. And Priscilla was one of the two instructors at the first Bible school, as she and her husband taught Apollos about Jesus Christ. I believe a Christian woman is free to hold management positions with male subordinates, if she has the desire and the opportunity. However, we need to be aware of some common pitfalls. In wanting to make it clear that they are qualified for their positions, many female managers overreact by trying to be too assertive and working too hard at establishing their authority. Some women are a little insecure in these roles, and it is easy to overcompensate by being too rigid and demanding. On the other hand, some women bend over too far backward to keep from intimidating male subordinates and to avoid coming on too strong, and this can cause a weak manager who lacks proper control. Our challenge is to find that natural, happy medium that allows us to manage effectively in our own style, treat everyone fairly and equally, and not allow ourselves to be intimidated by the male/female aspects of management. It is true there are sometimes double standards concerning acceptable behavior for women and men in leadership roles. A woman manager who does her job well may be viewed by some as being a “pushy broad,” whereas male managers who demonstrate the same style of leadership and assertiveness are considered “up and coming” and admired. I know how irritating that is, but I want to encourage you, if you’re in that kind of situation, not to react to people’s prejudices. I think the smartest thing we can do, as well as the kindest thing, is to rise above their attitudes, and focus on doing our job well, managing effectively, and trusting the consequences to the Lord. It’s a fine line we walk between not being intimidated by the prejudices of others and not becoming militant or vindictive, but I believe, with God’s help, we can do it. As a female manager, you may encounter male subordinates who resent you. This is certainly an appropriate time to ask for special wisdom from God, as he has promised us in James 1:5. In fact, this is a situation that should cause you to pray a lot more. That’s where you’ll find answers. Any kind of management or leadership position comes with its own set of mine fields, and as Christians, it is only in prayer and seeking God’s wisdom that we can walk through those mine fields without harm. A verse God has again and again brought to my attention in these difficult situations is Proverbs 16:21: sweetness of speech increases persuasiveness. Find ways to make your directions and your ideas easy to handle. It won’t diminish your stature, as a female manager, to do your best to ease the tension for the men you manage. And it will increase your persuasiveness. I have found praying specifically for the people who are giving me the most trouble is the smartest thing I can do. Asking God to help me understand them; praying daily that I’ll be able to care about them and do the right thing for them. When I do that, without fail my attitude changes and I find the relationships start to improve. Instead of getting angry at them or vindictive, ask God to give you compassion and tolerance. It is a wonderful opportunity to demonstrate the fruit of the Spirit in your life. Difficult relationships are often God’s way of helping us to grow in faith and learn to trust Jesus more. If you will pray daily about those sensitive male/female relationships on your job, I can assure you God will give you guidance and wisdom. And when they see that you do not behave in a defensive, aggressive manner, but rather with patience and gentleness, they will be at a loss to explain it. It may well give you an opportunity to give an account for the hope that is in you, yet with gen...
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