Podcast Summary: Love Is… - Stand Firm & Act Like Men: Week 6

Podcast: The Church of Eleven22
Speaker: Pastor Joby Martin
Date: November 23, 2025

Overview

This episode of The Church of Eleven22 series, “Love Is…”, focuses on the biblical imperative for men to “stand firm and act like men,” culminating in Paul’s command: “Let all that you do be done in love.” Pastor Joby Martin explores what it truly means for Christian men—and all followers of Jesus—to practice genuine, Christ-centered love in every area of life. Using 1 Corinthians 13 as the foundation, he examines the necessity, substance, and permanence of love, challenges listeners to examine themselves through scripture, and ultimately points to the source of all love: Jesus Christ.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. A Confession on Love and Self-Examination

• Pastor Joby opens by confessing his confidence in being watchful, standing firm, and being strong—but admits he struggles most with loving well, according to the Bible (05:15).
• Quote: “If you admit your hypocrisy, you’re no longer a hypocrite. You’re just a sinner. Amen.” (07:40)
• Love, he points out, isn’t just a feeling; biblical love is action, and our English language blurs true meaning.

2. Context of Love in 1 Corinthians 13

• Explains the context: the Corinthian church was a “dumpster fire,” and Paul’s “love chapter” is sandwiched between teachings on church unity and spiritual gifts (13:50).
• Love is presented as essential “oil to the engine of the church family.” (15:09)

3. The Necessity and Primacy of Love (1 Corinthians 13:1-3)

• Even the most impressive acts—preaching, prophecy, faith, generosity, martyrdom—mean nothing without love (16:00).
• Quote: “Without love, you are nothing. You gain nothing. You have nothing. According to the Bible, without love, you’re an absolute failure.” (18:45)
• Our culture’s measurements of success (wealth, power, fame) are empty without love; Christian love should be defining, not optional.

4. What Love Is (1 Corinthians 13:4-7): Holding Up the Mirror

Pastor Joby methodically unpacks Paul’s description of love, challenging men in particular to self-examination:

• Love is patient and kind: Admits personally failing both (26:50).

  • Quote: “I am the least patient person I know. I yell at the microwave.” (27:00)
  • Patience is passive (enduring tough circumstances); kindness is active (delivering good even to tough people).

• Love does not envy or boast: Challenges listeners on jealousy, boastfulness, and comparison, especially fed by social media (32:40).

  • Quote: “Every time we compare ourselves, I hope you realize comparison is a trap... envy is an affront against God.” (33:22)

• Love is not arrogant or rude: Points out the contradiction of looking down on others while claiming to look up to Jesus (37:00).

  • Exhorts men to check their humility, e.g., observe their attitudes in a Walmart at midnight.

• Love does not insist on its own way: Warns how strength and drive (which may work professionally) can kill relationships if always demanding control (41:57).

  • Quote: “What rewards you in one arena of life will kill you in other arenas.” (42:47)

• Love is not irritable or resentful: Discusses anger, irritability, and harboring long-term hurts or bitterness (47:15).

  • Suggests asking those close to you: “What is it like to be on the other side of me?” (50:00)

• Love does not rejoice at wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth: Warns against “keeping score” in relationships. Love doesn’t nitpick or dwell on flaws (53:23).

  • Encourages positive reinforcement and encouragement over constant criticism.

• Love bears, believes, hopes, endures all things: Stresses that love “never quits,” especially in marriage and parenting (55:55).

  • Quote: “Husbands: Never stop fighting for the heart of your wife… Never stop fighting for your kids. Ever, ever, ever.” (56:30)

5. The Permanence of Love (1 Corinthians 13:8-13)

• Love is eternal; gifts like prophecy, tongues, and knowledge are temporary (01:01:08).
• Even faith and hope are for this world—but love never ends because God is love.
  • Quote: “Faith is not eternal… In heaven, faith becomes sight. You don’t need hope in heaven. But love is forever. God is love.” (01:08:29)

6. Putting Away Childish Ways

• Draws a sharp line between childish immaturity (impatience, jealousy, selfishness) and true biblical manhood (01:04:00).
  • Quote: “Oftentimes when we’re being rude and demanding our own way, we think we’re being tough… The Bible says: No, you’re acting like a toddler.” (01:05:00)
• Cites James (“What causes fights and quarrels among you?… You wanted something and didn’t get it.”) to reinforce the point.

7. Self-Assessment Exercise

• Suggests replacing “love” with your own name in 1 Corinthians 13—an uncomfortable but clarifying test (01:12:20).
  • “Joby is patient and kind… Joby does not envy or boast…”—he quips, the Jeopardy! buzzer sounds in his head as he fails.

8. God as Ultimate Model of Love

• Points out the deeper truth: 1 Corinthians 13 is more than a behavioral template—it describes how God acts toward us (01:15:40).
  • “God is patient and kind. God is not irritable or resentful. God never ends.”
  • God’s love is the source and origin; we are called to be conduits, not self-generators.

9. Love Begins by Receiving God’s Love

• Emphasizes: The Christian life isn’t about “try harder,” but about abiding in Christ, receiving his love, and letting that love overflow (01:20:10).
  • Quote: “You can’t give what you don’t have. If you haven’t received the love of God, you can’t share it.” (01:22:05)
• Key scriptures:
  • 1 John 4:7-8: “Beloved, let us love one another…”
  • 1 John 4:19: “We love because he first loved us.”
  • Romans 5:8: “While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
  • John 15:13: “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.”
• The answer is not in self-improvement, but abiding in Jesus: “If you abide in me, and I in you, I will bear fruit—love, joy, peace, patience, kindness…” (paraphrase of John 15 and Galatians 5).

Memorable Quotes & Moments

• “If you admit your hypocrisy, you’re just a sinner.” (07:40)
• “Love is your joy in the Lord, expressed towards others at great expense to yourself.” (22:20)
• “Without love, you are nothing. You gain nothing. You have nothing.” (18:45)
• “Oftentimes … we think we’re being tough because we’re men. The Bible says: No, dude. You’re acting like a toddler.” (01:05:00)
• “God is love. And so if God is love, and love is patient and kind, that means God is patient and kind—towards you.” (01:15:40)
• “You can't give what you don't have… If you haven’t received the love of God, you can’t share it.” (01:22:05)

Important Segments & Timestamps

| Topic | Timestamp | |-------------------------------------------|----------------| | Introduction: The Call to Love | 00:03 – 07:55 | | Context of 1 Corinthians 13 | 13:50 – 17:00 | | The Necessity & Primacy of Love | 16:00 – 23:00 | | Defining Love: Patience and Kindness | 26:50 – 30:10 | | Envy, Boasting, and Comparison | 32:40 – 37:00 | | Arrogance and Rudeness | 37:00 – 40:13 | | Insisting on One’s Own Way | 41:57 – 47:00 | | Irritability & Resentfulness | 47:15 – 53:00 | | Rejoicing at Wrongdoing vs. Truth | 53:23 – 54:30 | | Never Quitting – Bears, Believes, Endures | 55:55 – 59:40 | | Permanence of Love | 01:01:08–01:08:29 | | Putting Away Childish Ways | 01:04:00–01:07:00 | | The Self-Test: Substituting Your Name | 01:12:20–01:14:50 | | God’s Love as Model | 01:15:40–01:18:50 | | Receiving, Not Achieving, Love | 01:20:10–01:24:00 | | The Invitation to Faith & Salvation | 01:25:00–end |

Tone & Style

Pastor Joby’s delivery is honest, challenging, energetic, and peppered with humor (“I yell at the microwave”). He frequently uses personal anecdotes and self-deprecating confessions to connect with the congregation. The episode is practical yet deeply theological, ending with an invitation for listeners to receive Christ’s love and let it overflow naturally, rather than merely striving to “do better.”

Bottom Line

This message calls Christian men—and everyone—to evaluate themselves against the biblical definition of love, set aside convenient but shallow definitions, and seek to become truly loving by first experiencing the love of God through Christ.
“Let all that you do be done in love” isn’t a suggestion but the essence of faithful living, made possible only through the abiding presence and love of Jesus.