Episode Overview

Title: Where Have All the Good Men Gone?
Series: Stand Firm and Act Like Men (Week 1)
Date: October 19, 2025
Host: Pastor Joby Martin, The Church of Eleven22

This episode launches a seven-week series exploring what it means, biblically, to "stand firm and act like men." Pastor Joby Martin addresses a packed audience at The Church of Eleven22, inviting both men and women to examine and support the call for men to live according to God’s design. The message weaves scriptural teaching, cultural commentary, and personal anecdotes to challenge, encourage, and call men to Christ-centered masculinity.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Introduction & Series Purpose (00:00–07:50)

• Pastor Martin opens with humor and warmth, referencing the weekend’s men’s conference and the presence of both men and women.
• He introduces Drew Parker—who left a mainstream country music career to write gospel-centered songs, notably "Blame Jesus."
  • Memorable Moment: Encourages the audience to download Drew’s song as "good grown men country worship music." (03:00)
• Sets the stage for the next seven weeks: teaching men to "stand firm and act like men," based on 1 Corinthians 16:13–14.
• Outlines a supportive role for women, mentioning devotionals written by his wife Gretchen for the women of the church.

“Godly women don’t ask, ‘What about me?’ Godly women ask, ‘How can we help?’” — Pastor Martin (06:15)

2. What Does it Mean to "Act Like Men"? (07:51–16:52)

• Anchoring text: 1 Corinthians 16:13–14:
  "Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. Let all that you do be done in love."
• Highlights cultural confusion about manhood: from government officials unable to define "man," to societal confusion about gender.
• Argues for a biblical (not merely biological or cultural) definition of manhood:
  • “It takes a lot more to be a man than just having an XY chromosome.” (10:20)
  • Lists his own likes (hunting, Harley, etc.), but insists these are not what makes a man.
  • Warns against toxic extremes: abdication (passivity) and aggression/abuse.

“For every mile of road, there’s two miles of ditch.” — Pastor Martin (12:50)

• Outlines a biblical view:
  A man is to be a prophet, priest, servant, king, provider, and protector.

3. God’s Design for Men (Genesis Creation) (16:53–40:00)

• Reviews Genesis 1–2, emphasizing God’s creation of male and female in His image.
  • Warns that "an attack on gender is an attack on the character and nature of God." (17:55)
  • Offers compassion and clarity for listeners experiencing gender confusion.
• Highlights the unique masculine imprint from creation: Adam formed in the wilderness, then placed in the garden (drawing on Wild at Heart by John Eldredge).
  • “This is why I go out into the woods to meet with the Lord.” (28:40)

God Gives Three Gifts to Every Man (29:40–51:10)

• Work to Enjoy (Genesis 2:15):

  • Work is a gift, not a curse.
  • “Men are like flatbed trucks—they drive straighter with a heavy load.” (32:00)
  • Critiques a “relentless pursuit of comfort.”

• A Will to Obey (Genesis 2:16–17):

  • Joy is found in obedience to God.
  • “If you think God is a God of a bunch of rules, you should read your Bible. Before sin entered the world, there was only one.” (36:10)
  • Celebrates positive biblical commands (e.g., “Be fruitful and multiply”).

• Woman to Love (Genesis 2:18):

  • Men need help; women are created as helpers, not a derogatory role.
  • Advises single men to practice loving and honoring women now (mothers, sisters in Christ).
  • “If you were God would you trust you with one of His daughters?” (43:10)
  • Draws out Adam's first "song" when seeing Eve (Genesis 2:23):

    “Then the man said, ‘This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh.’” (45:00)

  • Stresses God's intended order: leave parents, cleave to wife, naked and unashamed (Genesis 2:24–25).

4. What Went Wrong? (Fall and Sin) (51:11–1:08:30)

• Examines Genesis 3’s account of the Fall:
  • Satan targets Eve’s trust in God (word, work, worth).
  • Adam passively stands by ("elbow to elbow") while Eve is tempted.
  • The root failure is not action but inaction: Adam refuses to take responsibility.

“It’s not that he did something wrong. He didn’t do anything at all.” (1:01:32)

• The immediate consequence: the couple hides. Pastor Martin contrasts gospel belief:
  • Religion says, “Don’t tell Dad, I messed up."
  • The gospel says, “Somebody call Dad, I need help.” (1:05:59)

5. The Curses and Their Ongoing Impact (Genesis 3) (1:08:31–1:25:40)

• Sin distorts all three gifts:

  • Will to Obey: Now a struggle; even "professional Christians" struggle with the same sins for decades (1:10:45).
  • Woman to Love: The relationship is marred; marital tension is explained as a curse.
    • Wives’ critiques can undermine husbands; encouragement is vital.

      “Encouragement on the lips of a wife are like gold in the heart of a man.” (1:15:30)

  • Work to Enjoy: Work becomes toilsome.

• Practical wisdom about masculinity and marriage:

  • Continue to pursue wives as at the beginning of the relationship.
  • The choice in marital conflict: "You can be right, or you can be married."
  • Christ pursues his bride despite her “craziness”—a model for husbands.

    “He takes responsibility for things that are not his fault.” (1:18:05)

6. The Solution—Biblical Manhood Begins With Surrender (1:25:41–end)

• The try-harder/self-improvement model will fail.
  • The fundamental question “Do I have what it takes?” is only answered by coming to the end of oneself and depending on Christ.
  • “You’ll never be able to stand up and act like men until you first bend your knee to the God-man, Jesus Christ.” (1:28:30)
  • Reference to the Beatitudes (Matthew 5): “Blessed are the poor in spirit...”
  • “The three most dangerous words a man can say: ‘I got this.’” (1:30:20)
• With repentance and surrender to Jesus, men receive the Spirit of God and are enabled to fulfill God’s calling.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

| Timestamp | Quote | Speaker | |---------------|-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|---------------------| | 06:15 | “Godly women don’t ask, ‘What about me?’ Godly women ask, ‘How can we help?’” | Pastor Martin | | 12:50 | “For every mile of road, there’s two miles of ditch.” | Pastor Martin | | 32:00 | “Men are like flatbed trucks—they drive straighter with a heavy load.” | Pastor’s dad (quoted)| | 45:00 | “Then the man said, ‘This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh.’” | Genesis 2:23 (read) | | 1:01:32 | “It’s not that he did something wrong. He didn’t do anything at all.” | Pastor Martin | | 1:05:59 | “The essence of the gospel is, ‘Oh, no, sinned. I’ve screwed up. Somebody call Dad. I need help.’” | Pastor Martin | | 1:15:30 | “Encouragement on the lips of a wife are like gold in the heart of a man.” | Pastor Martin | | 1:18:05 | “He takes responsibility for things that are not his fault.” (on Christ & husbands) | Pastor Martin | | 1:28:30 | “You’ll never be able to stand up and act like men until you first bend your knee to the God-man, Jesus Christ.” | Pastor Martin | | 1:30:20 | “The three most dangerous words a man can say: ‘I got this.’” | Jeff Kopp (quoted) |

Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:00–07:50 — Opening, conference recap, intro to the series, Drew Parker mention.
• 07:51–16:52 — Defining "act like men," biblical masculinity, cultural confusion.
• 16:53–29:39 — Genesis and God’s design: creation in God’s image, gender.
• 29:40–51:10 — The three gifts: work, obedience, woman to love.
• 51:11–1:08:30 — The Fall, the roots of the crisis in biblical manhood.
• 1:08:31–1:25:40 — The curses: ongoing struggles with work, obedience, and marriage.
• 1:25:41–end — The solution is surrender to Christ, personal/neighborhood challenge, next steps for men.

Conclusion & Call to Action

Pastor Martin challenges men to rise to God’s call—not by sheer willpower, but through humble surrender to Jesus Christ. He introduces a practical pledge and accountability plan for the weeks ahead and invites men to take a stand both spiritually and publicly.

“If you’re ready to stand firm, to stand up and act like men... to build new habits in your life that you hope change you and change generations of your family to come, then I want you to stand up right now and say, ‘Alright, I’m in.’” (1:37:20)

Final Benediction & Challenge:
Men are called not to "cowboy up," but to first bow the knee to Christ. When men lead in love, everyone flourishes.

Summary Table: The Gifts and Curses

|Original Gift|Post-Fall Curse |Key Takeaway| |-----------------|---------------------------|----------------| |Work to Enjoy |Work is toilsome, hard |Work is still a calling; embrace responsibility| |Will to Obey |Obedience is a struggle |True joy comes only by following God’s way | |Woman to Love |Relationships marred by sin|Pursue, encourage, love as Christ loves |

For Listeners

• To Men: The path to godly manhood begins not in self-reliance but in daily dependence on Jesus Christ.
• To Women: Your role is vital—encouragement, prayer, and support are essential.
• Next Steps: Use the provided pledge card, sign up for devotionals and accountability, and commit to the journey for the next seven weeks.

This episode serves as a foundation for the coming series, promising practical, Scripture-based guidance for men seeking to live out their calling in Christ.