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A
Kick this mule. What's happening? Beautiful people. Uncle Joey here with his trusted sidekick, Mr. Lee Sayat, aka the Cato. And we have a special guest, my brother from a different mother, Mr. Alberto Crane. How was everybody's weekend?
B
Great. It was a great weekend. Fantastic. And how are you?
A
How long are you in the city for, Tarzan?
C
Till Wednesday morning.
A
That's it.
C
DC. DC's next Vegas little mini PR tour for the book, you know.
A
What are you doing in dc?
C
A couple shows, a couple appearances. We're gonna do some. Some fun stuff. Yeah, for sure. I gotta check out where they're gonna have the. The UFC card, right?
A
Yeah. Yeah.
C
Let's see what's up.
A
You know, that's crazy.
C
What do you think about the card? UFC card?
A
Yeah.
C
The White House.
A
Yeah, The White. You're gonna go?
C
I want to go.
A
But 2,000 tickets, it's going to cost you.
B
75,000 tickets.
C
I heard it's free. Yeah, it's free, right?
A
Yeah, but they're picking, right? So you're going to win in a raffle.
B
No.
A
Yeah. They're not going to give you that in a raffle. They're going to have to check your background. Not everybody's going to be allowed to go. A lot of people are going to be brokenhearted. There's going to be a lot of white people there. Maybe 10 black people, one Spanish dude. And he better be like a prisoner of war or he's a president from another country or something.
B
Not just a regular black person. Not a regular black person.
A
It's gonna have the high level Washington people, the president's friends, you know, and it's not gonna be like I was saying the other day, look, it's gonna be people who watch a fight that usually don't watch a fight. Right? Yeah. You know, when we watch the fights in the apex, I always felt bad for the fighters because, well, I'm a comedian. I feed off the energy. As much as you don't think that's my 90%, that's my bread and butter. They don't have to talk to me, but I could feel them laugh at me. Now I gotta take it and throw it back. Take that. It's the same thing. So I was like, man, that must be. The punches sound louder, you know, so even the guy hears it even louder in his ear. But then. Yeah, right. You ever get hit in the air when there's no music on? It sounds bad.
B
Yeah, I think it's great. I. I know a lot of people are talking about it.
A
I'm not even talking about. Because I gotta be invited, right? And they gotta watch it on Paramount. It's gonna be commercials for ICE and God knows what else. I'm saying. Free Cuban. Venezuela.
B
I'm pretty. I think it's pretty cool, just the idea of. To have it at the White House. No matter what you think about any. I don't. It's just kind of cool. I don't know. I think, like, to be able. I am surprised. Like, they didn't have, like a huge name. Maybe they'll get someone later on. You think they'd get like. Like that one on Netflix? Looks pretty cool, that one.
C
Diaz. Nate Diaz. Come on.
B
Yeah. And then Rousey. But she. She hasn't fought in like 15 years or something close to that.
A
They give it a load of money.
B
Good for her.
A
Diaz and Mike Perry.
C
10 million, right?
A
Yeah. Like that.
B
And Ganu Ngannou's coming back. There's a bunch of people in that one.
C
I mean, that's that card you expect, right, for the White House.
B
I would. Yeah. And I. You know, But I do like this on Paramount because I haven't watched it in years.
A
Like I said. If you think there's commercials now.
B
Oh, yeah.
A
With. You know, how to know. Listen, everybody's going to be watching. That's the beauty of it. Everybody's going to be watching. Yeah. Nothing. Everybody's going to be in front of that tv.
C
I'll be watching President Haters.
A
You're going to get the Nazis fucking firecrackers. You know, Everybody's gonna hate no matter what you do. You could feed a thousand fucking children for a year. And, well, you gave them stolen money. Who gives a fuck? You know, three people died. I had to bring a boat of coca Cuba in from Cuba with coke and fucking, you know, something. But people always question, no matter what you're gonna do. And that's what this fucking whole thing's about. Right, Professor? Yeah. Lay it on me, Jack. For starters, give them the. Give them the background. We go back 22 years.
C
I'm looking. I'm looking at the longest yard.
A
22 years in Santa Fe, New Mexico.
C
And he said, I'm gonna come in. And then he didn't come in in Santa Fe, but fast forward. I'm 15 years later.
A
Yeah. I walked in.
C
He shows up in Burbank with a legacy in Burbank.
B
He was supposed to do Jiu Jitsu during that filming.
C
He was going to, yes. Because Ivan Salivary was there.
A
Yeah. I would go, oh, my God.
B
All the time.
C
We're hanging out.
A
Yeah.
B
Honestly not. Because I was 100 plus pounds overweight too. Could you have done that at 4? Whatever you were, could you have done?
A
I trusted him. The way he told me to get on the mat.
C
Right.
A
There's certain people that sell you this and they have no idea what they're talking about.
C
Right.
A
And there's certain people who get it. I know he got it because you
B
said you were even they were giving you oxygen just to walk around Santa Fe.
A
How I have to.
C
Yeah, yeah, yeah. 7,000ft.
A
Oh, I'm surpr.
C
So it's higher than a mile and a half. Right.
A
They had 12 meetings about my blood pressure when I was, you know.
B
Yeah. What do you as like a coach with someone who's that like. Cuz I was 330 at 5 foot 3. Like I'm. I was just as fat. Like when you see someone starting out
C
at that big, I mean just, man, just feel out their, their breath. Like how they doing, their mobility. Right. See what they can do and stay with them there, you know, and then add to it little by little.
B
That's crazy.
C
If you can't walk, crawl, whatever, do something. You can do something. I don't know, no problem. Whatever it is you can do, do, do it.
B
I couldn't imagine at my heaviest going to do jiu jitsu. That's, that's. And so you went. How long. When did you start? Because you started a few years into me knowing about it.
A
2011, on a whim
B
at VMAC.
A
I started watching those videos at night. I get high and watch those videos and I'm like that.
C
Eddie Bravo is trying to for years, right?
A
Yeah, I told you. They told me already. But that wasn't it, dog. Once I saw Hydra Gracie. That's the way to do it for a big guy like me. It's slow pressure. Kiss him in the neck, move up a half inch, Kiss him again, Move up another half inch, another half inch. And the guys knows it's fucking coming. And now he got two things to do. And Doug, I don't know how he does. He just slips his hand in and then he sits there for another eight minutes. And all of a sudden you just put the other hand up and it's all over. Shout. And you're like. He just chokes you the fuck out.
C
True story.
A
If you look at all his videos, they're all the same. He takes you, you take him down, something happens, there's a scramble, he's on top of you. And once he gets that mount, I don't know what. What's his percentage? It's brilliant to watch.
C
That's it. Game over. Mounts. He gets that one hand in the collar.
A
That's it.
C
That's it.
A
And he sits there and cooks you. He puts the fucking triangle. He shifts over into that fucking garden. He just. At that point, you're like, you know what? Poke a finger in my eyeball. It's. I'm suffering here.
B
Oh, it's. And it's. I don't know anything about martial arts, but, like, I like the ufc. And I know people call it boring, but, like, when you're watching the ufc, if someone can just take you down and hold you there, doesn't matter how good of a fighter you are, if you can't get up, the fight's over. And it might not be the most entertaining, but, like, you. You win. Like, it's just.
C
I mean, if you understand the game, that's. That's control, right?
B
Right.
C
Dominance. Like, look at gsp. One of the greatest of all time. Khabib, right?
B
Yeah.
C
Then cam at for the. Lately, right?
A
Like, there gna be a bomb in New Jersey here. That's a hell of a fight. I heard he said he don't want to talk to no goat during the press conference. So they're scared of the. They. They petrified of the face off.
B
Who said that? I think Hamza or who's fighting Hamzat.
A
Sha. Strickland.
B
Oh, Shawn. Ali or Strickland.
C
Okay.
B
Oh, Jesus Christ.
A
Yeah, he said.
B
That does sound like something he had said.
A
A goat or something like that. You know, Sean Strickland said that. Yeah. He's crazy.
B
Could you imagine translating that to Khabib? I'm sorry. To anybody, but I can't imagine saying. What did he say? He said, I don't want to talk to a goat for that.
A
Yeah, he said something else. There was two quotes. I don't remember the other one.
C
Oh, after that, you didn't hear anything else.
B
Yeah.
A
Who does this? But that's mental. Listen, all I know is this. I swear to God, professor, every week there's one night my wife's like, I'm going to bed. I'm like, go, go. Because I don't even want to watch this fucking TV show. And I go in the room and I take my notebook out. I get tuned up in the garage. First thing I throw on. I've watched it 300 times. Khabib against fucking McGregor.
C
Oh, yeah.
A
I watch that twice a week. It's in my YouTube feed. And I watch how he Held them down by the fence and all that. And then the other fight I watched is Khabib against a Brazilian that could kick. Oh, shit. The kid that was training in New Jersey with Mark Henry. It was Frankie Alvarez and the Brazilian that threw those spinning back.
C
Yeah, yeah.
A
Oh, my God. It's gonna fucking eat me alive. And I watched that fight, and that guy was people up with his legs. And there was one point in that fight, Khabib was just trying to drown him. And you could see the fear in his face. You could see it, like, he was like, I'm done with this. Tap me. Keep Khabib. Beat the out of him. Beat the out of him.
B
Give me one second.
C
Rice. Rice.
A
He was a kickboxer.
C
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
A
A Brazilian kickboxer. He lived in Jersey, right? Yeah, yeah. But then he went somewhere else. Cold in the winter.
B
Edson Barboza.
A
Edson Barboza.
C
Okay.
A
It was mind boggling. Mind boggling. And that's when you see the power of you being able to take anybody down with the same stupid shit over and over. You train in training camp for eight
B
weeks, they know exactly what he's gonna do.
A
Your wife makes you do it around her. Yeah. And you go. And Khabib will still fucking break your spirit. Not even underneath. Your spirit is broken. And if he's punching. If he's punching and he traps you one arm, he starts hitting you in the ribs. That's a. That's a. That's a brilliant fucking thing. Knocking you down is one thing, Professor. Holding a man down.
C
Yeah.
A
Is another.
B
For a long time. 15, 20 minutes. Like. Like. And there was a. A few weeks ago that Max Holloway fought and everybody. He just. I love. I love. He was one of the first guys I loved, and he was so fun. He's still probably. I haven't seen him in a few years. He's probably still really good. In the beginning of each round, he was so ready to go.
A
And then immediately Oliveira took him down, which.
C
I mean, what do you guys think about the bmf? That being the BMF belt. And him doing Jiu jitsu on a BMF belt should be for. I don't know. What's that?
B
You would. You would think so, but a record's a record.
C
Yeah.
A
Figure it the out.
C
Yeah.
A
I'm going for the BMF belt. If he's got me an Australian head scissor, Figure it the out. You know what I'm saying? Figure it out. That's what BMF is.
B
Yeah.
A
Me being the Fifth round, I'm getting beat up. And all of a sudden I get this guy in a triangle. Yeah, yeah. And my leg is broken, but I still held him down and I choked him. And that's what it is. He threw jiu jitsu at him. And I bet Holloway prepared. What do you think? He didn't prepare for that. Yeah, he knew it was coming. That kid climbs on you. That kid doesn't take you down. He just starts climbing on you, right or wrong. And now you got his weight on you. How long can you sustain that when your adrenaline is high? He wears you out there. He just fucking starts putting a hook in and starts climbing up your back. And right there he's. He don't even got you. He's got dick. He's still adjusting grips and shit. And all of a sudden you go, I'm going to bang him backwards. Let me go backwards on him. Night, night. Because he's going to leave two hooks in you when you're not. He's going to get knocked out. But he's Brazilian. They've been doing that all their fucking life. You know what I'm saying? He's still going to hold on to that, and he's going to wake up and tap the dude out. And he does that constantly. Am I bullshitting you, Professor? Who you think you're dealing with joy bananas. You did good.
C
That's it.
A
So what inspired you after. After Santa Fe, I saw you again at Justin Fortune's gym. And I watched you walk in there. And I don't know if you were fighting then. You're in the ufc. You had moved there. The train or something with the ufc.
C
I was fighting. Right.
A
I think I went to one of your fights, blah, blah, blah, where Rogan took me. And then I didn't see you for a bit and I heard you relocated. And the story goes, I called the school because I couldn't find the schedule. And you fucking called me right back. What do you want? Who's this? Alberto. Joey. What do you want? I go, I want to see a schedule. And a year later, I walked in again. I go, I'll be in there like a week or so.
C
You came to the door and then you were. I was on the mat. And you're about to walk away. And I went outside. Hey, Joey. Hey, Come on in. Come on in.
B
Forgot about that. I think you taught. You talked about, like, you would go and, like, knock it out of the
A
car for a while all the time, man. You're 50, you're out of breath. You can't figure it out. I'd have surgery on my nose. And you just really liked the art. I moved here and it took me a year. Kid kept bugging me. A brown belt, kept calling the house Logan. You don't want to swing by me and you. Just real life. And listen, this is the fucking real story. During the pandemic, I developed a fear from North Hollywood from seeing that black dude, from just seeing things. I had never seen this area before, and I had lived there for 20 fucking years. Yeah, okay, when you're somewhere for 20 years and all of a sudden you see bikers living in the fucking. The circle. One day there's 2,000. You wake up one day, you're like, what the fuck? You need money to live in this building? And you look down, there's 22 bikers, 22 fucking bikers. And you're like, what the fuck happened to the neighborhood? All of a sudden, they bomb Hudson county park and there's a rally because they hit a gay guy in Minneapolis on your fucking boulevard. You know, it was surreal. It was really like you were living in a fantasy. You were. Now, looking back, it was all fucking staged. It was all a fucking employee. All those people were just fucking employees or whatever the fuck. They draw you. I'm not a conspiracy theorist, but I never saw a town change that quickly. There was something. I'll tell you. I'm sorry. The edibles hitting Professor.
B
You had a fear. You came here.
A
So when I moved here, the fear continued. And then I had knee surgery. And I was still, like, very fearful of things happening. I was still. I would go to restaurants. I'd keep my eyes open. I would always be very paranoid. When I got home, I always took a shower and washed my nostrils out. It was horrible, guys. I was living in fucking. I was old. I wanted to see this kid live. And now you're telling me I'm going to die from breathing on you? I did the knee surgery in January, right? And he kept calling, joey, come in. I know you're working out. I know you're doing this, but come in. We'll do some closed guard. Whatever you want. No, no, no, Coach. Thank you. And finally, he called me every month. And I never ducked him. I always picked up the phone and something in his voice, you know, come on, man, come in. Come in. That picture, three, when do you want to come? And there'll be nobody here. And it was September 21, 2022. The same night the Sopranos movie, that movie came out. When I walked into that gym, you knew I was Pickles. But I remember when he got me in like a side control and he was breathing on me, and I'm breathing on him and I go, if this is Covid, it looks like I'm dying because this is fucking fun. When I walked out that door, the fear was eliminated. That night. Just to put in perspective to you, the fucking car didn't put me in front of the premier. He put me on the corner and opened up the corner. When I got out of the car, I had 2,000 people and I had to walk behind the gate and security had to pull me in right there. I'm like, I'm gonna die if I don't die from Jiu Jitsu. This just fucking got me. And then you had to wear a mask in the movie theater. That lasted 10 minutes. I'm not sitting here with a mask. So when I left that night, home, I'm definitely dying. Like, I'm definitely dying. So I stopped and got pizza. I pulled the George. I stopped in the city, you know me, and it was the best wings I've ever had in my life. It was two Puerto Ricans guy making pizza somewhere in midtown Manhattan. Unfucking believable the whole ride. I'm gonna die. But guess what? Two days later, I called that dude because I knew the contact had pushed me through. The fear was gone. I was back in. When he had me inside control and shit. I'm trying to hold on to his leg, he's trying to mount. I'm like, do I miss this? And then you just pick each other up and you're sweating and he tells you how he caught you. It's. It's unbelievable. So I went back, I signed up that day. You know what? We did like six or seven privates. And I wasn't going to go back to December, and I was having such a good time that I said it and I hurt my knee now and I haven't been there since January. So I've been a little depressed. But, you know, I gotta find other ways to use an outlet.
C
Yeah, yeah, he shut up, man. He came back.
A
I tell people when you want to know about a town, when you move to a town and you want to meet everybody like that. And I'm talking about connections, Jack, not some Okie Doke guy. Yeah, my uncle owns a club in Hoboken. I'll let you know, you know. No, I'm talking about six figure guys, state fucking people that you don't even know. Like that school was all Newark cops. And the Brazilian who taught it, we call him the Invisible man because he'd never show up. So I used to say, you're the real master of Invisible Jiu Jitsu. You don't show up. He wouldn't show up. But I love him to death. He's works all the UFC events. It was fun again. I had a lunchtime class like yours. People at the time.
C
Nice.
A
And we would just go in there and fuck around and it was just. It got me out of it, got me into breathing again, you know, Got the fear off now. And I didn't give a. Who was choking me. I just enjoyed it. I. Not that I was going to pay some chick to choke me and stick a feather in my ass. I'm not ready for that yet. I gotta find one of those chicks that has a chicken bond, you know what I'm saying? I still got it. Professor.
B
What is it like to have him in class?
C
It's the before class.
B
It's the before class.
C
I'm sitting there and he walks up to you and then does this, you know, talking to you. Before you know it, there's a little crowd. Gets bigger and bigger and bigger.
A
Used to rock. And then the party's over. When a girl comes, everybody just breaks up. We were laughing at his jokes.
B
That's. And like, it just. I can't even imagine. Is it fun choking him out?
A
Oh, yeah.
B
It's fun to choke you out because
A
I'll crack you up. Choking me out. I'm trying to fuck you. That's not fair.
C
Big neck, big hands.
A
Yeah. So it's tough. And I'll with you. Like, I'll go, don't do that. I'll stab you in the lungs. They start laughing now. I gotta. I can at least wiggle out a little bit. You. The kid helped me a lot. He was a purple belt. He's a great fucking kid. You gave him a school. Now he has a school somewhere.
C
Josiah. Filipino white. Did you. Filipino white kid, Josiah? Yeah, yeah.
A
With the girlfriend. That was a circus. She worked, Lived in the circus or something like that. Right.
C
I think she was in dance. Yeah, she was a dancer. What kind of dancing? I don't know.
A
Her family was involved in something where she grew up. The white girl?
C
Yeah, yeah.
A
A real pretty girl.
C
Yeah, yeah. She was. She was. She was in dancing. She came to LA to become a dancer. Professional.
A
Oh, okay. Why are you pulling my leg for, Professor?
B
But he. That guy helped you out, you said?
A
Who?
B
The dancer's boyfriend, Josiah.
A
He was very patient. He let me Drill with him and shit. Let me get on top of him. Sweating, breathing heavy, calling timeouts, smelling fungi. Toenail. He was right there. He was. You know, and that. That's right there, that camaraderie. But even when I joined that school over here, my point was that I be. All of a sudden, I knew where the best health food store was. All of a sudden, don't go there, Go here for acupuncture. All of a sudden, bro, I'm a detective. I didn't even know you were a comedian. These guys just told me. I can't believe you spoke to me for a month. I didn't know you were a comedian. These guys always tell me, uncle Joey. I'm like, who the fuck is Uncle Joey? He goes, you talked to me for a month like a gentleman. He came back, he gave me, like, a fight. He's the governor's driver.
B
Oh, shit.
A
And he's like, you get into a beef in Jersey, I'm your first fucking call. He brings me that. What's that? Shit everybody eats. It was hot last year. For a year, they take it out of the ocean and they put it into jelly. All different. Every sea moss, every white kid, he got into that. But he also brings me tamales and coquito. So that's a real Puerto Rican right there. Shout out to the. Boric was watching the show.
B
Do you have a lot of connections? Like, in la, could you do. If you want to do something, you could call a student.
C
Yeah, that's it. The. The network, right? Like Jiu Jitsu. Like, you just. He said, like, it's the network, right?
A
It's a network.
C
Like, it's the biggest network worldwide, right? Anywhere you go in the world, you got it. You know, Anything you need. Yeah. The Chief of Police Burbank's training, you know, now. So, you know, just all walks of
A
life, who you're with in there and who you're in a trench with and who you giggle with. And at the end, you see him run change and come out with a detective badge. And you're like, I was talking about weed around him. Listen to this. I got a Chinese kid in my school, and I met him on the softball field with his kids. I got Jiu jitsu. He's a fucking purple belt.
C
There you go.
A
And all of a sudden, he tells me. He goes, no, I work for the FBI, Organized Crime Task Force. I'm like, no shit. So we exchanged numbers. We're talking one day and I forgot what his name was, But I had two of those Names in my phone. I just got a pound from California, took a beautiful picture. I took a picture of it and I sent it to him. Oh, and also, like 20 minutes later, he goes, joey, that's the funniest fucking thing anybody's ever sent me. He goes, I was in a drug meeting as you sent me that. I had to hide that picture. I'll see you in class Tuesday. Who the fuck knows? He's a skinny guy that has tremendous cardio, by the way, when you roll with him, he goes, don't go for nothing. I want you to keep your heart rate at 130 and talk to me. So that's why with him I would always roll the last roll of the day. Because with him it's more of a cardio. And he cracks you. You're not getting around his legs. He's one of those, I don't know, Chinese. God, I don't know.
B
You should put like FBI on his contact or something. You should like. You should really.
A
I wasn't thinking. You know who has a friend that's in the FBI? Who. I don't.
B
Didn't. Last week you had someone else who was in the dea. This is something my.
A
We have a Cuban guy from Miami that grew up here that's DEA and they just re signed back up. And we have somebody else. We have the cop that arrested Iceman.
B
It was a story you were telling
A
an east mix husband. He came on the podcast.
B
Okay, dude, that's crazy.
A
So enough with the chitter chatter. What made you sit down and read the book?
C
Dedicate my life to teaching and, you know, making. Trying to make a difference. Right. And it's just another avenue to. To do it, you know, share my story. You know, you have done your. Your. Actually your podcast was the first podcast ever did.
A
Yeah.
C
And yeah, I was like, podcast? What are you talking about? I was like, yeah, just come by, you know, okay with you guys. And you had me talk about talking about paddling a boat. I remember that, you know, and people would steal my paddle.
A
And you gotta swim back to the island.
C
Yeah, pretty much.
A
You know.
B
What's the name of the book called
A
all in and the beauty I like about the title is Lessons on and off the Mat. Because this is. This is where the money is. I know his background, you know, and I know that this is just beautiful picture. This is a man that look at the black eye. I haven't had one of those since Halloween. 82. You know what I'm saying?
C
82.
B
I don't do we Want to know what happened in 82?
A
82.
B
Oh, my God.
C
82 was rough.
A
New Yorkes, you know what I'm saying? He was getting smacked. Rick James was running for president. Shit was cracker lacking.
B
That's a. Pretty cool. As much as you probably didn't like getting punched in the eye, that picture is pretty cool. Like, do you. When you saw that picture, like, I'm
C
a badass, you know, it's like my. My life. I've always had kind of black eyes. I'm always doing. I'm always on the mat. I'm always training. I'm always, you know, mixing it up. So it's very fitting for the book, I think.
B
I like it.
C
Yeah.
A
We're in Santa Fe, summer 2004. You look very happy. I think you're with your wife. Yes. It was like, the beginnings or something.
C
Correct.
A
The movie comes out after we left Santa Fe. I never went back down there, so I didn't see. And then I heard that you were back. Justin, I saw you. I gave you a big hug. I was really excited. What made you get out of the school business at that time and put it all in for the ufc?
C
I moved to la. I wasn't sure if I was going to do another school because it's a lot of work. It's a lot of work, and, you know, like, you raise guys from day one and, you know, to black belts, and I don't know if I wanted to do it again, you know, and. And what I was like, what do I want to do? I was like, well, let me finish this fighting thing. So. So I started fighting and started continuing my fighting. Got in the ufc. One fight, two fights, you know, and then just kept going. And then randomly at this Muay Thai gym that I was training at, the. The guy asked me to do a jiu jitsu class because I wasn't sure if I was going to do the school right? And I started teaching a class like Orlando Sanchez. A bunch of the guys that are still training with me now were training, and. And they took them to tournament. They all won, and it was so rewarding. Like, I took six guys. Like, five out of six guys got first place, and I was like, man, I have to do another school. At that moment, I was like, this. This is what I got to do, you know? And so one thing led to another, the school again. And that was the beginning of Legacy in la.
A
If I was going to your school. If I started going to your school at 13, now I'm 21, I've picked up my hands. I've had some amateur fights. I'm Armenian, I'm tough, you know I'm tough. Those Armenians are tough. You gotta punch them three times, you know, and.
C
Three times.
A
Yeah, not once. Three times and they better be all good. You're gonna break your hand on one of them. But you better hit him again. Even if you break your hand, you better poke it in the eye. They come back. I'll never forget. I'm rolling with some guy, he's killing me at Alberto's. And the only thing I could do is hold on to his legs. But every time I go to twist him, I can him bury it under him. But every time I try and go, ooh, ooh, and I'm holding on to that pant leg, then horse, what's going on? He goes, you're pulling my hat. I love that leg hair. Yeah, he had leg hand. I'm holding on to the legs so you don't. And I'm thinking, oh my God, I'm this guy up, I don't know what I'm doing. I'm just holding on to his leg and his neck and he's trying to put it over me and I'm like, this all. He goes, excuse me, you're pulling on my. Oh, very long. And even that the culture. Like I said, I was raised with Armenians here in North Berg. And I was tight with one of them, there was two of them, both of them were fucking savages. So when I went out to la, in fact I told you, my Armenian drug dealer called me. But he calls me 11 o' clock at night. I can't have that. He's all fucked up. I'm sitting here at the La Bomba Club in Las Vegas. My friend wants to talk to you. You know, come on, bro, it's. It's 11 o' clock at night. Watching the Honeymoons. When did you start writing the book, Professor?
C
It was, you know, Anthony.
A
Yeah.
C
So his mother, his mom did an interview with me and just randomly, like a blog, that's how it started. And then some years passed. She's like, listen, I can't stop thinking about it, but I'd love to do a book with you. And that's how it started. And you know, I said a quote in there, like all in, like, I committed to, to doing this jiu jitsu thing and. And I was like, she had never written a book before. And I was like, let's do it, you know, and it took five years. She like wrote it. Scratch. It started Again, three times until she, you know, until we got it. And here it is five years later, all in.
A
When you decide to be all in, what is the feeling that you have right at that point when you look at something like I did and go, guess what? I got nothing else? That's it. You looked at, and I got nothing else. But I've been doing jiu jitsu for 10 years, and I'm a black belt. I got something going on. So it's the same thing when you look at an opportunity. Now you're teaching, and one day you have the opportunity to open up a school and do this, and you know it's gonna change your life. But part of you is a. And you're like, you know what? I'll just keep staying in my mother's basement. It's all gonna work out. I'll get my own piece of property when she dies. Well, how do you know you're all in? Like, do you remember that feeling of being humiliated? Kind of, sort of, yeah.
C
Like, think about my beginning, my story, my beginning stories, my origin stories. Like, I lost a lot when I first started competing in gi, So I was good, I was tough, but I. I don't know how to compete. And I. I put all of myself into competing and trying to be the best. And I lost for, like, three years straight, every tournament.
A
How.
B
How many tournaments in three years?
C
Like, 13.
B
Damn.
C
And that was a lot. I was sleeping in airports. I didn't have a lot of money, so it was like, I put everything into it. And every time I. I lost, I had to come back and tell everybody, yeah, I lost. Sorry. And I kept going. I shook it off, kept going. And I think it's those people ask me, what are you most proud of in your journey? Like, winning this, doing that. I'm like, well, man, not quitting those three years, and. Because when I finally won a tournament, I was one of the best, like, blue belts in the world. And I kept. Went. Kept that all the way to black belt. And I would never have known that if I would have quit and stopped a long time.
B
So you wouldn't lose every match, but you. You wouldn't lose?
C
I would lose. I would lose either first or second match. Brutal, brutal, brutal, brutal.
A
And you went back to train on Monday morning like it was nothing. Like, that's it. Yeah, it's a new week. This is this week.
C
Yeah.
A
Breaking down the weeks, just give you. Because, you know, if you break the month down, the whole. What happened last week and what's going to happen in six months, you're going to die. Pretty soon, that's going to eat your lives. You know what? When you're a savage and you're going for it, I only drift coast to coast, Sunday to Sunday. You want me that day? Call me that week, motherfucker. This is coast to coast. And every day you got to get up enthused, you know? Especially when you open up a school and you got mouths to feed the wife and blah, blah, blah. And especially now. I can't imagine what it would cost. I see these schools that are opening and they look like fucking fountains of youth who sank $8 million before the school even opened. Good luck recouping your fucking money. Good luck. Whatever happened to just the garage? Dope it up a little bit. Put a hole in the fucking door. Cover it in the winter, cover the hole in the summer. Open it up, get some oxygen in there, mats. Mouth to mouth. One of those heart, and that's it. Let's get this party started.85amonth and we're flying through the air in this bitch six days a week. But now you're paying for. I got to walk stairs and ring a bell and fucking bow and it's jiu jitsu. What's all the drama for? I don't care if you wear a mock. Because when I first joined, I was really fat. So I had to buy a judo gee. After like three weeks, I'd walk in there like the fat guy and enter the dragon with a judo gion.
C
You were doing joy karate skits when I saw you. Just the fortunes.
A
Yes.
C
In the back.
A
Yeah, with that crazy Brazilian guy. Alibaba. No, what's his name?
C
Renato.
A
Yeah, he opened up a school in Orange County. Come on, man. He fought Chuck Liddell?
C
Yeah. I'm bad with the names today.
A
There's a name. His nickname is a Cuban saint. And I keep forgetting them now, like both their names. Come on, guys.
B
It's not, and I'm sure it's wrong. It's not Jenna Jameson's ex husband, right?
C
No, no, I'm Brazilian. Yeah.
B
Oh, Brazilian.
C
Orange County Brazilian, mma.
A
Babalu. Babalu.
B
That's a real person?
A
Yeah, I had a company. I had a guy, 10,000 to choke me on camera. But my neck wasn't right for four weeks. I had like a cocaine twitch. I was like one of Rick James girls in this documentary. You said documentary? Every woman has a twitch. One's got an eye patch. It's not good. You know what I'm saying?
B
And wait, who got paid?
A
What some MMA. Come, listen.
B
Paid you $10,000.
A
Listen. I was living in a one bedroom with 10 cats, and I did a Joy Karate video with two. And it was like. So I had this martial arts new league. They would compete with the UFC, and I just threw a number at them. 10 grand. They're like, okay, like, if you get Renato Babalu, we'll pay you an extra ten grand. Done. Call his agent. We did it. And we choked me out at. I didn't go to sleep or nothing.
C
He was in the UFC at the time, right? He was in the ufc? He was in the UFC at the time, yeah. He was fighting for the title.
A
I think even he had already lost the title. Like, he had lost that fight against whatever this had to be. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
B
I've seen a lot of videos of you. I haven't seen that. I wonder if that's even out there.
C
We gotta look it up.
A
They wanted to. They threw in like a. It was nice, dog. I was starving. Me and my wife were starving.
B
Ten grand to get choked out. One time, huh? That's it. Just one time.
A
Oh, no, no, no, no. You don't know, Uncle.
B
Oh, they talked to you a bunch, you know.
A
Yeah, I got them, like, for five. Five, five. And then they wanted me to go to Vegas for their first show and fucking do this and wear a costume and fly out of a drum. And I had some fucking coke dealer call them back, asking him for a bump, give me 2,000 more. And the guy fucking came to the agreement, and two weeks before, he sent me a fucking thing. We can't get financing from Japan. We're going to hold off on the project. I already have a deposit, you know what I'm saying? So I cashed it and everything was beautiful. All those people were popping out of the woodwork when you shot videos in 2001. 2002. But I don't want to interrupt. Professor. Hit me, dog.
C
What's that?
A
Where were we here?
C
Where what?
A
Where were we here, man.
B
I'm.
C
Yeah, I'm all over the place.
B
What are you talking about, Blue?
C
Getting choked out. Joey Karate again.
A
Yeah. Justin Fortune.
C
Justin Fortune, that's right.
A
Oh, shout out to that
C
boxing coach. Yeah, yeah.
A
Still there. Telling people to get the. Out of my gym. I hate you.
C
Yeah.
B
You were talking about coaching, and I. I haven't read the book yet, but when, like, when you win, when you're fighting versus when, like, someone you're coaching wins, does it feel better? Was this one cool? Like, what is it like?
C
It's different Right. It's different. Feels better, I think. I think in a way it's like, more rewarding when you help somebody, you know, win, Win, right? Because it's bigger than yourself, right? And when you. Of course, like, when you fight and you compete, like, you're. Hopefully, you tap it. Something bigger than yourself. Like, you represent your coach and your teammates and stuff, you tap into that. But I think it's different. But they're both rewarding. But, like, I think it's bigger, you know, when you. When you coach somebody. For me, at least, it is.
A
When you were getting all this together, what's one of the biggest struggles you went.
C
Biggest troubles for? For. Struggles. Struggles.
A
Jiu jitsu schools and all this, you know, that you do.
C
Because I think my whole life, right, Competing, fighting, I was always chasing something, you know, you know, you. I, you know, we talked to, like, someone some months ago, too. You're busy, you're busy. I'm always chasing something, right? And I was diagnosed with ms, multiple sclerosis. And this month is Ms. Awareness Month. You know, I didn't pass my last fight medical, so I did my fighting, UFC fights in UFC 2007. Five years later, I didn't pass my fight medical. And these lesions in my brain and they, you know, treated me like my life was over. I was going to be in a wheelchair, this and that. And the silver lining is that it forced me to slow down, you know, and really enjoy every moment with my kids, with my family, with friends, you know, and just be present, you know, not be chasing, like, the next thing. And I remember my wife was asking me, like, you know, are you going to be happy when you do this, when you do that? And I was like, yeah, I'll be happy when I do that, when I do this. And she's like, well, happiness is a choice. You can be happy, you know, doing nothing. Right? And so it really forced me to slow. Slow down and just be. Be more present. And it's made me a better person.
A
You have how many children? Three.
C
Three beautiful, amazing kids.
A
Amazing. And I knew them when they were.
C
And then before we had kids even.
A
Yeah, yeah. It's crazy, man. You know, that little gym, and then you had, like, a kickboxing back then, and it started adding. And then you built a tack fit in the back, which we'll get to in a minute, and then this tropical smoothie place, and there was a balloon shop where they sold balloons. The white belts when they came in. I'm just teasing you. Professor's a fucking gangster, man. And he just. And you sit there and watch this shit happen. Like I was telling somebody, like, it's very weird to talk to somebody. Like young comics, they come up to me like, how long did you think? It's 10 years? Whatever the fuck it is, you know, it's that journey and it all comes together at some fucking point. And for you with the Ms. Come on, man. God bless you. There's people that get Ms. And tap the fuck out, never mind. Open up a smoothie shop.
C
Yeah.
A
You know, Teach tactical fitness classes. And that's where your strength comes from. You get up every morning. I don't give a. You know.
C
Yeah, yeah,
A
right. They should in Vietnam. You still be here with a missile hand.
C
Yeah. Do it or die trying, you know, like, do everything I can do.
A
Yeah.
C
Life short, man. I'm ready to live my best life. I don't know. It's. Life is short.
A
Very. I'm gonna take commercial break. When we come back, I'm gonna talk about some new stuff and shit that's happening. Right. Let's take a five minute. We'll be right back. Go Pete. And we'll be right back. Uncle Joey here. Oh, shit. It's an incredible time to be alive. Baseball season is getting started and the basketball tournaments are popping off this week. There's no better way to cash in on hoops action than Prize picks. That's right, Prize picks. Don't miss your shot. Get $50 in lineups. When you play your first five bucks, instantly, all right? At Prize picks, you can pick anything, any player, any game. And the best part is you can play in 50 states. You heard me right, California. I was down in Texas over the weekend playing. People were jumping up and down. But listen, me, I got games this week. I'm not even gonna tell you. New York versus San Francisco. Boom. That's all. Look at this beautiful app. Colors. Couple things on there. But wait, there's more. Prize picks just dropped early payouts. That means if your player gets off to a hot start, you can cash out before the game is even over. Who do you think you're dealing with? Joey Bananas? Get off the bench. All right, and into the game. The game of life. This is it. And just for the church family, I got a special offer for you on Prize picks just for you. Get $50 in lineups when you play. Get $50 in lineups when you play. Your first five bucks. That's all you need. And press in code. Joey J O, E Y. Download the Prize Picks app right here, right now. It's very easy. And remember, prize picks. It's good to be right. Hey, Uncle Joey. Here. Listen, It's Tuesday the 24th. Why are we playing games? It's already. What is it? March? April, Whatever the hell it is, right? You need a little help in the bedroom? That's it. It's March. Flowers are about to bloom. As the flowers are blooming, you give Mom a stabbing, but forget about it. But it's going to be sensational. That's why you get a boost with Blue Chew Gold. That's right. Blue Chew Gold. Blue chew gold is 4 in, one tablet for Ed. You pop it, it dissolves under your tongue so you can be ready for action in 15 minutes. Listen, I'm an old geezer. I'm 63 years old. And Bluechew has helped me out in a couple pinches. You know what I'm saying? It pops up, you give them a little stab, and everybody's happy. It's not like I'm John Holmes flying through the air with a fucking cape on. Listen, if you're struggling with Ed, it's time to check out Blue Chew Gold. Listen, make this easier by getting harder. That's it. The summer's coming. What do you want to do? Sit at home again? Beating your stick like a fucking. You know, you want to be out there. You're not a prisoner. Get out there. Get out there and sling some dick. But it starts with your options@bluetooth.com. we got a special deal for the first family, all right? Because that's how we roll. We're not fans, we're family. Get 10% off your first month on Blue True Gold with Code Joey J O E Y. Very easy, even if you don't have a diploma. We're going to work around this. That's promo code Joey J O E y. Visit blue chew.com for more details and important safety information. As usual, I want to thank Bluechew for sponsoring our podcast. They're a tremendous company and they've helped old guys like me out. We need more bam. Uncle Joey here. Listen, it's that time of the year. You need to replace your nicotine cravings with a good habit. Fume is a flavored air device designed to help you quit vaping and smoking. Fume breaks the hand to mouth pattern you get from smoking or vaping. It's very simple. It's very natural. There's no nicotine, there's no batteries, there's no vapor. Fume is a weighted tool to reach for when you get a craving. I tried it fantastic. You know what I'm saying? They have a tremendous flavor. Don't try to quit cold turkey. Get some help. It's time to surrender. Reach for fume instead. Fume has already helped over 700,000 people. So take steps towards better habits. Now it's your turn. Get a free gift for your journey. Pack when you use code church. C h u r c h@trifume.com. that's trifum.com t r y f u m.com trifume.com and use code church to claim your free gift. Today. It starts today, guys. Get healthy, okay? I love you guys. Have a great week. Uncle Joey. Stay black. We're back. Professor Alberto Crane's here. Dropping knowledge. Glendale, Pasadena, Burbank. Well, Malibu as manic Pan. Wherever Khabib is from, he's got a school everywhere. Give me a date, give me a town, I'll give you a school. You know what I'm saying? Anyway, don't you have a pizza place?
C
Pizza place? Yeah, I'll say Jungle Cafe. That's okay.
A
You got a pizza place?
C
The photographer, he's got a pizza place. What up, though? Shout out to him and. Yeah, we got a cousin. We got a cousin.
A
Some character in the room said this before.
C
Little goat.
A
Okay. Armenian pizza. I love Armenians. I love Armenians. You know, like coke dealer. Your family, I love them. I goof around with all of them. I call them Habib. No, what do you call? Asshole. Not the asshole. When somebody's in that. Habush. Habush. I call people habush. The only time I got pissed off was when I walked into the Armenian pizza parlor in LA and on the Desperation, they got a box of pizza sent to them with the slits already in them. And they just put the cheese on them and they fucking threw it in there and you could taste that, it wasn't. There's something about food that's made together. And there's something about, like, my wife's lasagna. She can't do it, you know. She's not Italian, dog. She tries, it's still that prison lasagna no matter what she does. I can pat her on the back, I can hug her. It ain't gonna work. It's prison lasagna. It's either good or bad. If you're starving or you want to kill yourself. I love my wife's cooking, but her lasagna just don't fucking cut it. And I love her. I love her to death. She's American Indian and Irish. What the fuck does she know? What Expectations do I have. Anyway, I forgot where I was going with this story. That's what I'm talking about. I can't remember shit that morning. Perfect. I could talk to you here about concerts, people I mugged. What I did with the money. Where it's hidden. It's hidden under Lee's mattress. He don't know about it. I got an eye on my money and his money at the same time. Anything happens, I pull the plug and I send Netanyahu email. Where Lee is.
B
It's supposed to be a secret. I'm trying to remember how you got there, where from? Oh, yeah, yeah. Thank you.
A
That pizza was God awful. God awful. That pizza and Burbank, Mr. Pizza on the corner. Oh, my God. I went in there one day, it was just bread, a little bit of sauce and a ton of cheese. I mean, like, they just put a bowl of cheese in that motherfucking. Sell it with a straight face. Come on, guy. I just. Boy, I just go to Joe's before I left. That's all. I would go Joe's and Hollywood Boulevard. We would just pull over on a Tuesday like Pimps Fuck parking. Me and Lee would. That's the night he was high. And he kept eating the crust.
B
Oh, my God.
A
He looks up and he goes, I love it when the crisp is crispy.
B
I did.
A
He stuttered and everything. He would. And he wouldn't look up with both eyes like he was like, when my cat, my kitten had a kitten that would look at you with the pizza and growl at you at the same time.
B
Don't take that crust.
A
10 pounds. He's growling at his 18 pound gorilla.
B
But there's a. There's Brazilian pizza, right?
C
Brazilian pizza. They put ketchup. You put ketchup on it.
A
Unless you want to go on the witness relocation plant. You saw Henry Hill. They put ketchup on egg noodles.
C
Just saying. Just saying.
A
Yeah, give it a try, George. Give him the history. That's your assignment for the week. You got an extra 50 this week? Fucking. Yeah. No, I want to hear about Brazilian pizza. The brothers, the chain, how they ended up in fucking Newark. I am bound. Yeah, I'm bound is great, but, Professor, I got to ask you a question before we move on, because this is Ms. Awareness Month and I'm interested. You know, I knew what was going on with you when you got the prognosis or whatever they call it. Diagnosis, diagnosis, prognosis. You know me, I didn't go to med schools. I cut class that Tuesday.
B
When you got the diagnosis.
A
What did you feel in your heart?
C
Well, they treated me like my life was over. And then I was going to be in a wheelchair and showed me, like, the drug catalogs, asked me what, what. What did I want to take. I kind of was in shock. And then I guess just like in martial arts and fighting, like you kind of don't accept defeat, you know, and I don't want to be a victim. And cried, oh, my God. You know. Okay, what's the solution?
B
Right, well, can we back up for like a quick second? What, like, what. Why did you go to the do. To the doctor? Like, what were you seeing then?
C
Every five years in Nevada and in California, they make you do a brain MRI for your fight license. And so 2007, I got. I did one because I was fighting in the UFC 2012. I was going to fight on. On a local card, and so they made me do a brain mri.
B
Oh, so you weren't seeing any, Any symptoms yet? They just.
C
Well, I had symptoms. When I, When I think about it, like, I was. There was numbness in my body. I just thought I was, you know, a lot of years ago, going, being hardcore and cutting weight and, you know, doing stuff that, you know, it's hard on the body, right? Stress, whatever.
A
And you got the mri and that's when they told you.
C
They said, we found Lewin.
B
You.
C
You had lesions. They had actually had lesions in 20 2007, but it grew a lot. And. And they said, we need to more do more testing. We can't let you fight on this card. So they called me in the day before the weigh ins, and then they said, no, hey, we can't let you fight. We need to do more testing. And so I came in and did more test testing. I didn't do it. Let them do a spinal tap. You know, they did everything else. And then they like, yeah, it looks like you have mo Multiple sclerosis. They work with the best brain doctors, supposedly from USC and all that, and they, they diagnose me with Ms.
A
You once told me something that I believe, right? When you told me, you said that you doing jiu jitsu helped Ethereum and you were trying to get other people with Ms. To show up that you, you know, put them together nicely so everything worked. You still believe that today it's the
C
people, you know, look, look, we're hanging out. We're having a good time. I'm happy, you know, I'm happy. Kevin, I got. Lee got. You know, we're hanging out, we're doing positive things, you know, it makes me feel good. I think we're energy, right? We're mainly energy. Like, if you look at an atom, we're 00,001, like mass, like the nucleus, and the rest were energy. So how you feel. It's got to matter, right? And, you know, I love Jiu Jitsu. I love the people that I have in my.
A
The.
C
In the gym, the community. And so it makes me feel good. So it's. It's. It's got to help. It's got to help. I know it helps. I know it's got to help. I know it helps.
A
You show up at all these benefits for Ms. At all.
C
And here and there I do. I do an event, you know, like this. Like I. Like you said, this month is Ms. Awareness month. So we. We thought it was fitting to kind of release the book this month. You know, Christina Applegate, she. She came out with her book. You know, she talks about her. Her issues with. With Ms. And, you know, there's quite a few celebrities that they're dealing with stuff.
A
The other girl that we spoke about, really pretty girl from Married to Children. No, the one from. With Justin, she made that movie with Justin Timberlake and the girl from Buffy and Not Justin Timberlake, the guy. That guy that ended up marrying Summer Blair, Selma Blair. And I remember I saw her report on one of the TV shows and I spoke to you about her how, you know, you're a savage professor.
C
I mean, it's. It can be a scary situation, but if you're in a fight, if you're on the mat, right, and you're training with somebody, you're gonna panic and, and, and what's gonna happen if you panic and not, oh, my God, it's over. Like, it's over. It's not over. So I just, I. I guess I choose to, you know, to, to, to find a way, you know, find a way to. To win. And I had, you know, it's in my book too. You know, I. My first thing was like, can I ask the doctor at the time, can I still do jiu jitsu? And he said, yeah, there's no, there's no, you know, hits the head to the head. And so I said, okay, cool. And so I signed up for a tournament. And I did one, it was in Vegas. Did two. And I ended up going on a world tour all around the world, like the Amazon, Europe, Middle East, Asia, like, like, world tours, you know, and. And I had, like, a moment where, you know, actually I got. I had food poisoning. And I competed and I ended up getting choked out, and I ended up, like, throwing out, throwing up after my first match, and I couldn't eat. I felt like I had the flu, right? I couldn't eat, I couldn't drink anything. And. And the first guy I went against, where I threw up after the match, he's like, you do the open weight. And because there's three guys in the division, the master division, they're smaller, right. I qualified because I didn't throw up on the mat to do the open weight. Yeah. And so I did the open weight and. And he's like, you know, I couldn't eat, I couldn't drink. And I. I was like, okay, like, am I gonna first, I was like, am I gonna stay here, dude, compete, or am I gonna feel sorry for myself at the hotel? So I decided to stay. And I was sitting there waiting for a match, maybe about an hour, hour and a half, and I started to say to myself, I believe in my technique. And I started to make me feel good. And so I kept saying it again and again and again and went out there after about an hour and a half and, well, my first match, won my second match, my third match, then even did a couple more matches without food, without drinking water because, you know, you. You feel like you have the flu, right? And after, after that day, after that day, like, I knew I. I could win. You know, just the power of the mind. They showed me the power of the mind. Like my thoughts, how. I think it showed me the power of the mind, and I just need to know how I could win. And my next chapter was, you know, finding like tack fit tactical fitness, you know, just the type of training, you know, applied neuroscience. And that was kind of like the path, you know, it was like the next chapter and, and finding the solution. And, you know, I've gone all kinds of. Gone down this rabbit hole of, of recovery and straining. Understanding the body, like it, like a human dissecting a. A cadaver, like a dead bodies and stuff, just to try to understand what is a nerve? What is a ligament? What is a tenant. What does it feel like? How does it work? Like, what is a nerve? You tell me what is a nerve, right? It's. It's like liquid. It's like. It's like pudding, you know? And so, so, you know, movement, like your thoughts when you're stressed, when you don't have mobility, things tighten up, and then this signal doesn't get to the area. So all these things kind of come together, right? And the more, you know, your Body responds, it releases hormones, and then because of the hormones, things work better, you know what I mean? So it's all connected, right? And so I just started to go on this rabbit hole of just try to, trying to understand the body so I could find like, solutions and find ways to, you know, to, to do it. And so the movement part for me definitely was tack fit and like connecting my breath, you know, you know, the structure in the body. You know, you start to learn about structure in the body, right? Breathe your breath, connecting your breath and all that. And then the quality of the movement and all those things kind of lay down like myelin, which is like the, the, the rubber around the. I'm not losing you guys, you know, but the rubber, the rubber around, like the electrical wire, right? So if you don't have that rubber around that wire, the signal is not going to get to the area. And so that's what happens like with, with Ms. Is your, your immune system attacks your myelin sheath, right? And so the, the signal doesn't get to the area. And that's why people go end up in wheelchairs. And you know, things like that happen where you can't talk, you can't walk. And so I just went down this rabbit hole and, and that's been like part of my movement practice at least, you know. And then of course, how you eat matters, the people you hang out with, like the, you know, you, you laughing, you're having a good time, you managing your stress, right? And I think even if you don't have ms, right, we should all be living that life, you know, and that's kind of the, the Ms. Has kind of helped me, guide me in that direction. Less is more, you know, doing less, you know, is, you know, choosing to be more present and just maybe a better person, you know. Overall.
A
One of the things from your book, I liked with lessons on and off the mat, you know, I tell people this all the time. I was never going to be a world champion, but the lessons, like I joined jiu jitsu, and within weeks I knew how to lose weight. I knew I had to fucking go to a hypnotist to learn how to breathe. I had to get nose surgery. You find out all these things about yourself. One of the first times I rolled, a guy mounted me and I had to run out of the studio, take my GI off and my pants off, right on Burbank Boulevard, take my dick out and piss. I couldn't breathe. I thought I was going to fucking die. And that makes you go home and Think about a lot of fucking things, you know, that makes you go home. And the mat for me was, yeah, like right now, if you're over 50, you're getting ready to retire. Go to fucking Jiu Jitsu. Don't ask questions. Go once a week until you retire. By that time, you get a little bite, stripe, and you go again. These guys will fulfill your fucking every need. From the minute you walk in there to the minute you walk out. They're fucking carrying your bags. They're fucking gentlemen, you know, all the other gentlemen, we were always Alan Savage,
C
he's 80 years old, right?
A
Look, I would look at Savage and fucking walk by him embarrassed, like, you're 53. Joey fucking Savage was 76 at the time. He was there at 9 doing something. Then. No GI at Penny was choking some guy. And then from 11 to 12, he'd be fucking doing things with a dummy. He used to bring a fucking lunchbox. Like he was going to the beach for three days. His meals were broken up into three. What he ate when he got there, what he ate during. You know, you'd be rolling with him all the time. He's like, hold on, I got to eat my carrot and a half. You know? But that's why he's 78 on the mat. And that's how you have to be. The guy weighs, you know, and 35. You throw your leg up, he flies in the air. So you got to be careful because he's frail. But just the fact that, you know, I know people who, their dads are at home watching fucking daytime television. And here's this fucking guy at 9 in the morning doing some club. What's at 9?
C
There's a tack, but there's 10 o'. Clock. There's a no GI, but he's there by himself, right? I'm training with the dummy. Sometimes cones, like street cones, whatever, whatever is there.
A
He's.
C
He's grabbing, he's moving, he's doing it. He's running laps and on the mat in circles.
A
He's gonna live forever, but he's gonna die with a smile in his face. Yeah, and not in the hospital.
C
Yeah.
A
And it's not the fucking Jiu jitsu and the arm bars. It's about the warmth. You get that warmth later on that you really need. And I'm not talking about. I'm not gay. Fresh is not gay. All right? This ain't about being gay. Just the fact that I know that man could kill me. Just the fact I know if Lee gets on top of me, he could kill me. Yeah. In class he's got me in an arm bar or you know, he's trying to homoplata on the street. Lee would fucking kill me. I know this for a fact. When McGregor. I was at your school when McGregor fought Nate Diaz and I would fucking get beat up, but I'd sit there for 45 minutes watching his black belt. In fact, you took pictures of with a guy last week that was my all time favorite black belt. The artist. You were at his art studio.
C
He, Johnny, he used to wear a
A
hat for the overclass.
C
Mr. Johnny.
A
He used to beg me, please. And I go, johnny, I get off a fucking plane at 10, you guys are doing Sunday at 8.
C
There's no.
A
Who the fuck is up at some bro? I went to that class. He was one of those guys that you thought you were about to kill him, but then he put you in a trap and he held you there for fucking 18 minutes. And you're like, how do I get out of this? He's like, I'm not going to tell you shit. You're going to get out of it yourself. And he would pull the strap a little harder. You don't even know what strap it was. You didn't even know. He would get his fucking sleeve. He would take my sleeve and put it between his fucking legs. I couldn't get it out. He would just trap my fucking things. It's not about the trap or any of that shit. It's at the end, I drop on top of it, even though he could kill me, I give him a hug. It's two men sweating or female sweating. And you get up and you're like, joey, you almost got me with that thing. Your weight's getting better, Alberto. That fucking anaconda choke. Holy shit. Thank God I put my knee in your eyeball. Because I would have never got out of that, you know, because I had a cheat against Mr. Professor Professor I know would kill me. And just knowing that walking the streets now you're looking at people, you don't know if they're a purple belt. That nerd you see with the glasses that ain't jumping up and down. At the club, everybody's taking Instagram pictures. They all steroided out with the gold chain. That skinny guy would take three or four of those guys and choke them out within two minutes. And that's the humbleness you get when you walk into a jiu jitsu studio. Right or wrong?
C
Yeah, that's 100%. 100%.
A
And that was what I got in that school, it makes you want to come back. The addiction is an arm bars. The addiction is a camaraderie that you don't find anywhere else that you have to pay for to have this camaraderie you're getting now. You're getting the role. You're a blue belt. You're getting a role with a black belt who's going to smash you. But he let you work, and at the end of the last minute, he fucking, you know, you feel your eyeballs coming out of your head. But after he gets out, he fucking tells you, this is how I got you. This is what you're gonna do next time. You fucking barely breathe. This guy will throw you back on his back. And fuck it, this is what you gotta do. Put your hand here. See how easy this was? And that's the camaraderie you're never gonna get anywhere. And then next thing you know, you're next door eating a smoothie. That's the shit you did when you went to high school and played basketball or football afterward. Eight guys go next door and sit, you know, and that's what you provide. And that's a. If you walk into a lot of jiu jitsu schools, they don't have that. When you were there, you were confident because at lunchtime there were three nurses, two doctors. I knew I wasn't going to die. Three Filipino nurses. Bad motherfuckers. You know what I'm saying? The little chubby brown belt, he's now a black belt. That was my brother. Shout out. He. The woman who was a purple.
C
And Jeanette.
A
And Jeanette.
C
And then Blackwell now.
A
Yeah, there was the thin guy. How you doing today, Mr. Diaz? He was the thin guy that came. Gus, he came in with a bag. 10 after 12 changed into. Then he became Superman. He came in with these greasy glasses, and all of a sudden he come back in, you know, and it's dynamite. You're like, fuck these guys coming at lunchtime. They're eating like a cracker with a sardine for lunch. Running back in their car, eating it as they get in the car. And you're like, like. And I thought I had a hard day, you know, that's. It's different, guys. And I love what you provide.
C
Thank you. Thank you. Means a lot. You know, I really appreciate you just being a part, you know, those years you were.
A
I loved all that.
C
It's really great to just be here in your. In your. Your side of the. The country, you know, in your neighborhood, you know, it's Means a lot, really. After all these years, people come and
A
go, and one of the times I was really upset because, dog, I don't go that much, but it'd be an excuse for me, was when you were in Staten Island. You're 25 minutes from me. He was 25 minutes, and then he's dropping all this Staten island shit. Rico Rodriguez, you know, you talk to him yet?
C
Who's that?
A
Rico Rodriguez.
C
I did, yeah. He's. He's. He's out here now, right?
A
He's. No. Have you spoken to him lately? I get pictures from him and calls from him and chokes from him, and, hey, come visit me. I'm in Newark. But you got to come through the back door, and you got to hide from the landlord. You got to climb down a latch. You know what I'm saying? That's why that last thing I want to do is get arrested for going to trading Jiu Jitsu. Well, he's got a lot of heart. I love Rico, but I had no idea he was from Staten Island. And what happened is, family was Italian. They adopted him. Just fucking tremendous story. We got to get him on here, but he's got to come in with a tamer.
C
He went to see. Went to high school in Tottenham, I think Tottenville High School. That was a. Wagner High School. And his coach, his wrestling coach in high school was also the soccer coach. I played soccer in high school. And so he's always trying to. Actually, Mike Bonavita, that was just here. He was always trying to recruit him to train with Rico at. At Tottenville to have another heavyweight to train with him, you know, so it's like a small world, right? Kind of small world. But it's crazy that out of all. All the places, right, He's Staten Island. We went to high school. The same kind of the same areas. UFC champion, right? ADCC champion.
A
Like, I mean, I had no idea Staten island was even involved in this game. And then my neighbor said to me, oh, yeah, I went to high school with Rico. Yeah. He goes, let's call him up. I go, you got his number, too? Holy shit. He gives everybody. Yeah, but professor, you know, I've been here for going on six years. We always stayed in touch. I follow your life dramatically on Facebook. That's the general pictures from Legacy. And, you know, I follow your Instagram. And there was, like a year there where I think about you, about to pick up the phone. I learned, don't, you know, he's in Japan with his family. Next thing you know, he's in Hong Kong jumping out of a plane with his family. Two days later, he's in Budapest. I was sitting in. He's in Burbank like nothing happened. He's at the school for the lunchtime class. And you see those for three days. The geese, the. The party at Legacy, the Christmas. All of a sudden, he's back in Armenia teaching jiu Jitsu to fucking savages. And then. So for a while, then I'm like, how's he doing this? Eight schools.
C
This.
A
This. Well, one thing I know is you appointed your own trained black belts at those schools. And they know what you teach and how you teach it, and that's why you got that whole area on lockdown. And I congratulate you because I. Look, I saw you in Santa Fe. You saw me when I was £418. I couldn't even take my shoes off to go into your studio. I would just sit in the corner, and he would always come over. But let me tell you something. You walk. If you're a chubby dude, walk into Jitsu school 10 days in a row and watch how they'll talk to you. It's no contract, bro. Get on the mat. I got a gi in the back. We got water. It's just me and you for 30 minutes. Let's do that. And by the way, that guy, like, the first 20 minutes, you're like, I'm not coming back. I'm not coming. Next thing you know, you're there for 45 minutes and he's teaching you something new on how to breathe. And now you leave. Then you're like, I'm not coming back. But that guy was real. That dude was real. He cared for me. He was supposed to be half hour. We're here an hour, 15 minutes on his time. He's late to go pick up his kids. That's a guy who loves what he's doing. My class would end at one, and he'd make me go to Tactical Fitness. And, bro, my shoulders got loose. I still sweat in my mother's grave. I did it the other day, the thing you taught me to do on the plane. You sit back, you put your shoulders down, and you extend your neck. You do that 20 times. And then the other one is, you take your fucking neck and touch your chin. 20 times you told me to get up and just hold the seat in front of you and wiggle your hips and change your leg and press the calf because the calf was the heart of the lower leg. Come on, bro. Who the fuck you Think you're dealing with, you know what I'm saying?
C
Club bells. You got the club bells?
A
Yeah, No, I do the club bells still to warm up.
C
Yeah.
A
You know, I don't know what I know I go on the swings, but do you do.
C
You're trying. You're doing it. You're doing it.
A
I do the stretches. I. Now I believe how much. Since then, my shoulders are very. A lot more. I gotta warm them up, you know, like tomorrow I go to boxing, I'll get warmed up and then I'll do that. A couple like 10, I'll do the swings and the. These things. Now they're saying if you do them to the side, you lose your side. Fats, I'm getting ready for bikini season. Before we go, the name of the book is all in by Alberto Crane. Life lessons on and off the Mat. I know this man personally, and I don't need to read the book. I know the story. But when I'm in recovering from knee surgery, this is the first book on the list because I can't fucking go nowhere. So all in lessons. I bona fide, you know, I love my books. I love this. I love that he did this, that he had the courage to do this and everything. I'm not blowing smoke up your ass. This guy's the real deal. Holyfield. Where can they find it?
C
All the platforms. Amazon, Barnes and Nobles online.
A
It goes on sale. Guess what? Oi. Today. How do you say today in Yiddish?
B
Oh, yeah.
A
Oi. You know, like, oi, oi. Three little. Whatever. Anyway, it doesn't matter. Amazon. What else, my brother?
C
Barnes and Nobles. Yeah, all the.
A
All the.
C
All the platforms.
A
Audio on the audio.
C
It's coming soon. Okay.
A
Who did the voice?
C
It's AI I read. I I up.
A
You want to do it yourself?
C
What's my voice? It's actually. I don't know, pretty. Pretty damn good. It's not done yet, so for you
A
to feel that heart.
C
Okay, okay, I got you.
A
Whatever's written here, you have to stop for a minute and just go, okay, let me do it. Because now you gave him something extra. Okay, in the book.
C
I'm gonna do it.
A
I'm gonna do it.
C
You're right.
A
Give you war for three days in a row. You know, things happen. Yeah, no, I did great with mine because that reason I did it. People already used to you from your podcast, which you still have your podcast.
C
Yeah.
A
You know, I want you to send all my love to the students, your wife. Let's promote Joey's Alvarado's. Last album. What do you think? That's my boy, Joey Alvarado and shit. Swinging kettlebells like he owes me 22 bucks. What do you got left, dog? What do you got this year?
B
This Wednesday, we're with Pedro, I think, in Garfield, New Jersey. Friday and Saturday I'm with Jesse Mae Peluso in Fort Worth.
A
Look at you and shit. Taking it back to Texas.
B
And then first and Second at Uncle Vinny's.
A
Uncle Vinny's at Point Pleasant. Forget about it. Me, I got. Oh, shit. I'm doing the first April Fool's Day at West Nyack. I'm doing the ninth at Motherfucking the Dojo. And then I'm doing the 15th in Brooklyn. The 18th, I'm in Nashville at the Nashville Comedy Festival. Then the 23rd of April. Write it down. I'm telling you all to suck my dick because I'm having surgery. So I won't see you for a couple weeks. You know what I'm saying? I'll be busy drinking tequila with my leg up, getting a massage from Jamaican woman, you know, looking for a Jamaican woman. I don't care how big you are, come over and just massage my leg. We watch CNN and, you know, lean to the right. You know what I'm saying? Whoever the fuck they're leading these type of days. Don't forget. Seriously, from my heart, all in lessons, on and off the mat. Professor Alberto Crane and Max. Hell, Duke's Lamar. That's works. I love you guys. Amazon right now. Click it, pre order it. Is there a code? They get 10 cents off a geek, a hat, something hit me up.
C
I miss on. On Instagram.
A
All right, Tell him that you saw him, Uncle Joey, and we'll work something out. You might not get the whole book. Like he sent me the other book, that's the book. And then he gives me a new one. I'm like, you gave me the switcheroo. You know what I'm saying? But I love you, Professor. God bless you. Thank you for being my brother. Thank you, guys.
C
Thank you so much,
A
Sam.
Date: March 24, 2026
Host: Joey Coco Diaz
Co-host: Lee Syatt
Guest: Alberto Crane (former UFC fighter, jiu-jitsu black belt, coach, and author)
Episode Theme: The journey of resilience, friendship, and personal transformation through martial arts, with focus on life lessons learned on and off the mat. Special emphasis on Alberto Crane’s new book, "All In: Lessons On and Off the Mat," his battle with multiple sclerosis (MS), and the unique camaraderie of martial arts communities.
This episode welcomes long-time friend and former UFC fighter Alberto Crane to the podcast. Joey, Lee, and Alberto reminisce about their years together in LA and New Mexico, share stories about training, discuss the life-changing power of jiu-jitsu, and open up about overcoming intense adversity—particularly Alberto's MS diagnosis. The episode is a blend of laughs, candid confessions, and heartening advice for anyone facing personal struggles.
This episode is classic Joey Diaz: raw, heartfelt, full of humor, profanity, warmth, and genuine respect among friends. The tone moves fluidly from comedy to seriousness, from nostalgia to practical advice. Both Joey and Alberto share vulnerabilities openly, offering hope and inspiration while never losing their down-to-earth, no-nonsense style.
For anyone interested in jiu-jitsu, resilience, or the real-life challenges of overcoming adversity, this episode is a must-listen—and a testament to the power of community, discipline, and never giving up.