Cheeseburgers and cocaine

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Cheeseburgers and Cocaine"

The Church of What’s Happening Now: The New Testament
Host: Joey Coco Diaz
Co-Host: Lee Syatt
Guest: Kathryn Narducci
Date: August 26, 2025

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Overview

In this lively, no-holds-barred episode, Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt broadcast live from NYC and are joined by actress Kathryn Narducci. The crew dives deep into themes of loyalty, the pitfalls of delusion (“the ether”), comedy, acting, East Coast food culture, and the realities of show business, all filtered through Joey’s irreverent, street-smart, and affectionate comedic lens. The conversation moves fluidly between personal stories, professional advice, and hilarious takes on everything from casino gambling to restaurant loyalty.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Comedy, Material, and the Importance of Letting Go

• Joey advises Lee to cut outdated material from his comedy act:
  “You have to let it go. Like a fucking... girlfriend with herpes. You gotta let them go. You can’t call them back.” (01:47)
• Lee reflects on the challenge and growth found in discarding old bits, with Joey stressing that everyone stalls with filler material as they build out longer sets (02:16–03:01).
• Quote:
  Joey: “Thank God I don’t have to do that stupid fucking joke no more.” (03:18)

2. “Ether” and the Human Tendency for Delusion

• The concept of “ether”: Used as both a literal reference (to wash cocaine) and a metaphor for self-delusion or being caught up in fantasies and projections—whether in relationships, career, or show business. (07:03–10:12, 23:50–25:20)
• Examples from Hollywood, sports, and real life: Joey recounts stories of failed TV pilots, weddings doomed by delusion, and comics believing in material that only feels good "under the ether." (07:03–13:00, 23:50–29:53)
• Defining Ether:
  Joey: “Ether is your mind playing tricks on you... You start believing something, a lie. And we've all been in that situation.” (25:03)

3. Navigating Help and Boundaries in Show Business

• Requests for favors:
  Joey and Kathryn discuss how people frequently ask them for professional favors, scripts to be delivered, or connections to celebrities and how hard it is to say no without guilt (29:53–36:44; 37:12–39:09).
• Setting boundaries:
  Kathryn: “If I helped everybody... behind you I have 50,000 other DMs with people asking the same thing.” (34:43)
• Empathy is balanced with realism about the industry's process and the dangers of enabling unrealistic expectations.

4. Fan Interaction and Society’s Decay

• Stories of awkward fan encounters:
  Joey shares how strip club visits turn into Q&As about Joe Rogan, illustrating society’s misplaced priorities and odd fascinations (42:13–44:17).
• On loyalty and authenticity:
  Loyalty to one's roots (be it food, friends, or community) is a recurring theme—contrasting fleeting social media trends and “swipe left syndrome” with the steadiness Joey prizes (77:56–82:20).
• Quote:
  Joey: “All we have is a little bit of loyalty... Everybody forgets what got 'em to the fucking dance.” (77:56)

5. Acting, Vulnerability, and Artistic Process

• Joey and Kathryn talk shop: Acting classes, vulnerability in performance, and their own career paths (57:49–64:13).
• Joey shares how he incorporated acting lessons into comedy, resisting certain acting exercises due to insecurity but learning over time.
• Kathryn on acting: “You have to bring yourself. And I love what you said about acting... the moment before, it's so important.” (56:12)
• Both discuss internal struggles with self-image and expectations in show business.

6. The Reality of Success and Survival

• Joey recounts his journey from criminal past to comedian—comedy as both survival and self-discovery (67:15–69:24).
• Comparing showbiz “overnight success” myths with years of hard work and the importance of realistic self-assessment.
• Kathryn notes how true connections come from deeper vulnerability, not just the “hard exterior.” (71:30–73:46)

7. Gambling, Loyalty, and Food Culture

• Extended riffing on East Coast food loyalty: Why Joey refuses to chase trends, instead honoring old spots that remind him of home (79:36–85:08).
• Tales of cutting school to gamble, familial context for their gambling habits, and current-day casino adventures (102:21–104:44).
• Discussion of swanky but soulless new restaurants vs. “the one place” that feels like home (78:36–81:49).

8. Kathryn's Career and Creative Projects

• Kathryn talks about her pride in her career, the surreal feeling of success, and her work on a new series based on her life (97:01–97:40).
• She shares her approach to self-acknowledgement: patting herself on the back at night for her achievements, regardless of external circumstances (94:23–96:15).

9. The Business of TV & Film

• Inside baseball on how productions lose steam (“the ether” in Hollywood), what happens when shows lose key creatives, and why some all-star projects fade for lack of marketing budget (53:13–54:43, 98:47–99:07).
• Candid discussions reference specific films and TV, including personal favorites and disappointments.

10. Lighthearted Closings & Future Plans

• The crew’s banter about upcoming comedy shows, future plans to visit casinos, and the realities of performing and touring at their age (107:50–108:57).
• Musical and food references, riffing on KC & the Sunshine Band, and jokes about bringing quaaludes to a concert round out the sendoff (109:08–109:26).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Letting Go of Old Material
  Joey: “You have to let it go. Like a fucking... girlfriend with herpes. You gotta let them go. You can’t call them back.” (01:47)

• What Is Ether?
  Joey: “Ether is your mind playing tricks on you... You start believing something, a lie. And we've all been in that situation.” (25:03)

• On Helping Others in Showbiz
  Kathryn: “If I helped everybody... behind you I have 50,000 other DMs with people asking the same thing as you.” (34:43)

• On Artistic Vulnerability
  Kathryn: “You have to bring yourself... what do you want from a scene? Also... what’s my objective? I just want to be a good guest on this show.” (56:12–56:49)

• On Loyalty
  Joey: “All we have is a little bit of loyalty... Everybody forgets what got 'em to the fucking dance.” (77:56)

• On Fan Interaction at Strippers
  Joey: “Why would a 25-year-old talk to a fat fuck felon, old fuck about another old fuck that lives in Texas that eats elk?... That’s what’s wrong with society.” (43:39–44:17)

• On Success and Self-Credit
  Kathryn: “When I check into the hotel wherever it may be for a job specifically... I earned that, and I work so hard for that.” (96:15)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Opening Banter & Comedy Material: 00:03–05:08
• “Ether” Explained (Comedy & Life): 07:03–12:36
• The Reality of Hollywood Success & Failure: 12:36–29:53
• Industry Requests and Setting Boundaries: 29:53–39:09
• Fan Encounters & Acting Process: 42:13–57:49
• Being an Actor vs. Comedian – Vulnerability: 57:49–74:59
• Childhood, Comedy as Survival, Loyalty: 77:56–85:08
• Food Culture & “Swipe Left Syndrome”: 77:56–88:46
• Kathryn’s Career, Art, and Self-Kindness: 94:23–97:40
• Talking about Casino Life & Gambling: 102:21–106:05
• Closing Out – Upcoming Shows, Reflections: 107:50–109:26

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Overall Tone & Style

The episode is classic Joey Diaz: raw, honest, raunchy, hilarious, and affectionate—with New York attitude and deep affection for his roots, his craft, and his friends. Kathryn Narducci brings a grounded, real-world perspective, sharing vulnerability and pride as an actor who worked her way up. The trio’s chemistry offers both laugh-out-loud moments and genuine insight into comedy, show business, and what it means to stay true to your roots.

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If you want to understand Joey Diaz’s comedy, Kathryn Narducci’s wisdom, and the gritty heart of east-coast showbiz culture, this episode offers a whirlwind tour—equal parts storytelling, life lessons, and laughter.

Transcript

[Joey Diaz]

Kick this mule. What's happened, you savages? We're back like herpes Uncle Joey. And my trusted little Cato Lee Syat, AKA the Flying Jew. The church of what's happening now? New Testament is coming at you. What's happening, brother?

[Lee Syat]

Good to see you, dude.

[Joey Diaz]

Good to see you. How was your weekend?

[Lee Syat]

I had a great time at Parks.

[Joey Diaz]

You did?

[Lee Syat]

Parks was really cool. Yeah, I had a. I had a really good New Jersey, actually Parks in Pennsylvania. But I started. I did our Buddy Pedro show in New Jersey, which is my. I love my favorite shows now. And I love doing shows with you, but our shows were like, I have to. It's basically like a fist fight. Like, it was just at a bar. People were heckling the whole. Just talking. And they were funnier than some of the comics, which is my favorite is when the people at the bar, especially in New Jersey, they're funnier than some of the comics. And that was a blast. George came. Thank you very much. And then we did Parks, which was. I've probably done Parks like six or so times. We did it before you had this residency. I think this was the best. Best I've done there. It was. And it's because you fucking made me cut 20 minutes of my act.

[Joey Diaz]

Oh, it was brutal. About having kids. You got no fucking kids. You dated a chick that had kids four years ago, and you're still saying, a year ago, he's chubby and all that shit. Knock it off. I come.

[Lee Syat]

Well, and it worked. It was.

[Joey Diaz]

I knew it was going to work.

[Lee Syat]

It was crazy.

[Joey Diaz]

But do you see how material works? You have to let it go. Like a fucking. A girlfriend with herpes. You gotta let them go. You can't call them back. That's it. She gave me the fucking herp for Thanksgiving. I'm done for Thanksgiving. There's no. That's the fucking discipline. I ain't going back to that. Right?

[Lee Syat]

Yeah, but it's hard to get rid of it, especially. I don't know. I hold on to it like it's like a life raft. I'm in the Titanic.

[Joey Diaz]

Get rid of it. Get rid of it. Nobody wants to hear it. Get rid of it.

[Lee Syat]

But you get rid of stuff like a weekend.

[Joey Diaz]

If they're just laughing from the top, I ain't want to say it right. I want to dig into them. And trust me, I ain't doing a good job of digging in either. But that's what I'm saying to you, that when you. You know what? Material's not working. We all have Material, that's when you first start headlining. You go from doing 20 minutes at the club every night in California to doing 45 to an hour. Yeah, you're gonna put 10 minutes in there. That's gonna lullaby em until you build. But you're gonna put it in the medium. They've already been dead for the first 20 minutes. So from 23 to 30 minutes, you might have a stupid story about your grandmother. That's two people laugh at. That's stalling. I do it too. No, everybody does it. But then those last 15 minutes, you pick that shit up like a fucking.

[Lee Syat]

And I was closing with it. It was the best. It was like. I thought it got laughs in certain rooms, but it had started to, like, wane off. And then when you told me to get rid of it, I was not mad. I don't wanna say mad, but. But I was like, how can I get rid of 20 minutes?

[Joey Diaz]

Thank God.

[Lee Syat]

Jesus Christ.

[Joey Diaz]

I think when I get rid of material, that's what I say to myself, thank fucking God I don't have to do that stupid fucking joke no more.

[Lee Syat]

Oh, I'm at the point where I'm just trying to get material.

[Joey Diaz]

And then five years from now, when you look at that YouTube tape, you're gonna go, thank God. He told me to get rid of that material. Right? Thank God I got rid of that. And everything else I said on that fucking 30 minute special. That's how I feel. I looked at something last week, I was preparing for the weekend and I looked at an old. And I was like, oh, my God, I gotta shut this shit off.

[Lee Syat]

But then how come, like, when you're doing it and it's killing you, like, this is going great because you're under.

[Joey Diaz]

The ether, your mind is playing tricks on you. It's like when you do a shitty movie, but you think it's fucking great. And on the set everybody's talking about, oh my God. And all of a sudden the movie comes out and nothing happens. And you're like. And you look at the movie again and go, jesus Christ. They're right. It's the same thing. We do it all the time. We meet a girl, we expect them, they're single. And all of a sudden we start fucking projecting. We're gonna do this, I'm gonna take her here. And all of a sudden she stops.

[Lee Syat]

Calling you back, what the fuck, Right?

[Joey Diaz]

It's ether is a motherfucker. Ether is horrible. And you, like, now I learn how to catch it. But I'm 60, I didn't need it now. I needed it 30 fucking years ago when I was doing something. I could say in the middle of it, this sucks. I'm out of here.

[Lee Syat]

I was thinking about that the other day. Isn't it fucked up that, like, the smart, like, you know the most, and then you have, like, no time left.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah. You get wise at the end, and then you got three years left. I know how to swindle Social Security now. You know what I'm saying? You know, it's fucking crazy, the things you learn about yourself when it's too late. Like after you hit somebody in the head with an iron, you learn, you know, restraint, control or whatever the fuck they talk about.

[Lee Syat]

Anger management.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah, anger management. You don't know these things. And ether is one of those things, you know, when a girl gets married, she's under the fucking ether. She's retarded from the minute she gets to engagement ring to the day she walks on the aisle. She's damaged goods. She's got. Everything is great. The fucking pigeons are great. The mother's gonna dress in black. It's like a constant fucking mind fuck. And it's the ether. I'm gonna do this. And Cindy's coming, and who gives a fuck about Cindy? We forgot what the fuck this day is about. So it's ether, right? It's ether. It's about you and her lasting forever. I don't wanna go to a wedding. While I'm on the wedding, I'm like, let's see if the odds are on DraftKings. Let's see if the odds are on Fanduel. You see it years ago, the fucking guy from San Antonio married the Mexican chick from Desperate Housewives. Nobody remembers that. Tony Parker. They had a $50 million wedding. White pigeons, limos, white people, the whole fucking thing. He's black, she's fucking Mexican. They had white people there. Oprah was there. Then he cheated on her with the Mexican housekeeper. Two years later. You know the chubby chick from the View? That fucking retard, the chubby black chick, she had a big wedding. Long Island, Oprah, the Hamptons, everybody. He was fucking some ugly black chick. Three weeks later, you're under the ether and you actually know he's fucking that chick. But as a woman, you're under the ether, you're getting married, motherfucker. His dick's been smelling weird. His breath's been smelling weird. He's been fucking staying out on hours. But you're getting married. You're getting married, so. And then after you get married a year in you're like, this motherfucker's been cheating on me since day one. But you were too busy under the ether because pigeons were going to get thrown out at your fucking wedding, you dumb motherfucker.

[Lee Syat]

Well, like, your industry is kind of weird. Like, don't people get married as, like, entertainers or anybody just for, like, a business thing? Like, they. They do it knowing they don't love each other, knowing it's just for like, four.

[Joey Diaz]

Like, well, probably those Hollywood animals get married, you know? Fucking vampire and Katy Perry. She's retarded, you know. You know that kid Russell Brand? The vampire Forgot about him. You know, these people, you know, they fall, and that's the worst, those Hollywood couples, because it's all fucking ether. It's all ether.

[Lee Syat]

What about. I keep seeing. Because I think his show's out now. Angelina Jolie and Billy Bob, like, when she. When he had her blood around it. And, like, they were, like, making out on the red carpet.

[Joey Diaz]

Disgust. Discuss who's your father? Who raised you? But no, what we're just talking about is what really happens to people, right? We really go under the ether. And you could ask professional athletes. They'll tell you, that season, I didn't know what was going on. I was banging my baby's mama. I was doing this, I was doing that. You know, it's fucking hard, man. And we all fall under that. What?

[Lee Syat]

Like, do you have a sign? Or, like, how do you notice you're.

[Joey Diaz]

Under the ether when you go see the finished result or when you see your set or you see how your set does? Or it's just something that you. You snap out of it. Once you fucking see it. Once you see it, you snap the fuck out of it.

[Lee Syat]

Is that why, like, when, like, you.

[Joey Diaz]

See, like, athletes and then you understand the whole. How it got there? Do you understand me? Like, once you see it go down, you'll go, oh, shit. You know this Netflix special, I was doing comedy everywhere in town, but at the Comedy Store, because in my mind, I thought that those people, like, those 240 people were gonna add up and everybody was gonna see my jokes. So I went to all these clubs that I wouldn't perform usually at. When I shot the special, as I walked out of there, I knew the ether. In my mind, I thought if I didn't go to the store, I would do better. It was a fucking stupid move. Thank God I recognize that. But I've done that 20 of times, and I'm not just the only one. We have all done that. How Many times have you shot a pilot? We shot a pilot. And everybody's giggling at the pilot. That's the funniest fucking thing. And then the pilot don't get picked up. You already bought the house, so now you gotta suck dick and start an OnlyFans, because you listen to everybody. And you bought a house, a half million in Long island with your husband, who's a plumber. You know, he's barely making it. You know, new construction's down 80%. But you hooked up with a fucking plumber. Okay, that's what it is. That's what it is. You know, and then you read the friend story where they shot the pilot, they got taken to Vegas, and the motherfucker gave him $500 a piece and said, go in the casino. This is the last time you're gonna be able to walk like this ever. Okay? So obviously there was no ether there. That was an inside hit job. That's from Israel. They had the six people. That's a. That's a no. Anyway.

[Lee Syat]

But is it like, is there a difference? Like, have you. I'm. I know for a fact the answer is yes. But, like, have you ever gotten off stage and been like, I kill. Like, you know, you kill. And what do you think the difference is between that and ether?

[Joey Diaz]

Well, the. The proof is in the pudding. You left bodies laying there, right? It's that special. You shot that as you left there, you're like, oh, my God, that was the best thing I ever did. And then you see it on HBO and you're like, fuck it. You got to cash your check with a mask on. Oh, Jesus. Okay, Like. Like when they did Soul plane, that was D.L. hughley's joke. He goes, you guys saw Soul Plane. I know you did. He goes, trust me, I was in it. I had to cash a check with a. With a Halloween mask on.

[Lee Syat]

That's.

[Joey Diaz]

That's fucking hilarious. That's the truth. But while you're doing it, think of all the celebrities in that movie, right on the way home, you're like, shit, Snoop, this, that, Kevin Hart. And also the movie Bombs. So it's just. And I'm talking about movies and, and, you know, albums, comedians, you know, A special got released last year, high anticipated special. It was dog shit. It was dog.

[Lee Syat]

There's a lot of those.

[Joey Diaz]

A lot of those. And what happened? That dude was delusional. Right after, while the special's airing, you're going, oh, no. Cause I've been there. While you're looking at the project, you're going what the fuck was that? What was the guy that played the fucking doctor in the Sopranos at the end with Johnny Sack? Fucking famous, that dude. Famous at the end. He played the fucking doctor, big time guy in the fuck. When Johnny Sack was dying of cancer, he was telling him, I'm a doctor. I shot my wife. I shot the mailman. Because at that point I had to commit and I shot her mother, who was in the other room. That dude was fucking well known when I moved to la.

[Lee Syat]

Sidney Pollock.

[Joey Diaz]

Huh?

[Lee Syat]

Sidney Pollock.

[Joey Diaz]

Sidney fucking Pollock, okay? Sidney Pollock. I shot CBS's answer to NYPD Blue. They paid Sidney Pollock a million fucking dollars to direct that. You gotta hear me talking shit. I was looking at helicopters, houses in Miami, houses in New York. It was set to go. They told us when we were shooting the pilot. The pilot was fucking dog shit. And the show never got aired. They were gonna use it as a mid season replacement, but it was such bad dog shit, they couldn't do anything with it.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Bronx County.

[Joey Diaz]

Bronx County. What the fuck? That's what I'm talking. And that's when I learned. I was in there going, holy shit. I'm going to buy a boat, a car, everything Tony Montana wanted. Like, I'm going to get my own fucking island. I'm going to do everything. And then it fucking, you know. So you never fucking know anymore. Guys just. It's ether and there's nothing you could do. We control it more as we get older or something. It's like a basketball. It's like fucking fire. Slam a jammer against Villanova, whoever that guy's name. What Villanova, who's five slam a jammer? The guy that had cancer. Houston, when they played that year, they gave fucking the other team 13 points. I was in court, I remember I was. That's when court was in New York City at night. I got arrested buying pot in Harlem and I had to go to court downtown. And they made me go to court at 7 o', clock, the night of the national championship. I'm running back and forth, calling sportsphone, putting fucking a dollar in sportsphone. It's too low. And in those days, if sportsphone was too low, you couldn't adjust the volume. There was no volume. You got beat. You're like, God damn it. And then you had to put another quarter in. Hi, it's Sportsphone. We come at you every 15 minutes. They were given 13 points. And at halftime, I think fucking the other team, whatever, was winning by 13 fucking points. They went in there with this ether. They were five Slamming channel. They led the league. And fucking this and that and slam dunks and three pointers and Valvano just fucking ripped the floor with him.

[Lee Syat]

I can't believe you were in court checking a score.

[Joey Diaz]

Oh, fuck. Yeah, I'll never forget that.

[Lee Syat]

Did you put the bet in before court?

[Joey Diaz]

Yes, I did. In those days there wasn't no DraftKings.

[Lee Syat]

From the phone in the courthouse.

[Joey Diaz]

I don't know, I think I called him from a payphone.

[Lee Syat]

That is wild.

[Joey Diaz]

How you doing, Louie? Red Corvette. Confirm your number. 648. What do you like, give me the lines on. There was no fucking halftime or first quarter.

[Lee Syat]

They'd give you like a code name?

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah, he had a code name and I used to use. My school teacher had a connection, okay? And he had a Gray Cavalier. So that was his name, Gray Cavalier. So I would look at his phone when he called one day. I stole the number and I started calling Gray Cavalier. Give me San Diego.

[Lee Syat]

Hysterical.

[Joey Diaz]

And I saw him a week later. He's like, somebody's been calling in my account, the quarterback coach.

[Lee Syat]

It's not really like the. Shouldn't there have been a better way to get a code name? If you're using your car as your code name.

[Joey Diaz]

Listen, Lee.

[Lee Syat]

Aren't the cops gonna figure it out?

[Joey Diaz]

Lee? Who gives a fuck, okay? It was 1982. You think I'm worried about code names? Kinda. I would be. Don't worry about nothing. You bet. More problems. Cocaine and cheeseburgers. Don't worry about the fucking. You know what I'm saying? You got more problems. You got problems about cocaine and cheeseburger. Never mind you saying Gray Cavalier over the fucking phone, okay?

[Lee Syat]

Cocaine. I like cheeseburgers.

[Joey Diaz]

I know you do. And it was 1982, so cocaine was in your bloodstream too. I hope you like cocaine, which I hope you like cheeseburgers. With cocaine used as salt on your cheeseburger.

[Lee Syat]

What do they call that?

[Joey Diaz]

They call it a black dick. We'll be right back, cocksuckers, with our guest. Hey, Uncle Joe here. I don't know if you guys got the message, but Sundays just got way more fun because college football is back, baby. No going to church. Think you know the game. Put your money where your mouth is with DraftKings Sportsbook. Turn up your picks into big time payouts. They've got live betting, rivalry week, odd boost and tons more to keep you entertained all season long. It's going to be a tremendous college football season at DraftKings. Now get ready to start to fall off, right? Because they got something special for first timers. You ready? New DraftKing customers, get ready. You bet $5 and get 300 in bonus bets instantly. $5. 300 in bonus bets instantly. To test your college knowledge, download the DraftKings sportsbook app and press code Joey J O E Y. That's code Joey J Oey for new customers to get 300 in bonus bets and instantly when you just bet five bucks. In partnership with DraftKings Sportsbook. Listen, I love DraftKings. You know why? Because the crown is yours. Gambling problem. Call 1-800-GAMBLER in New York. Call 877-8-HOPE NY or text hopeny467-369 In Connecticut, help is available for problem gambling. Call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org Please play responsibly on behalf of Boot Hill Casino and Resort in Kansas. Fees may apply in Illinois 21 and over. Age and eligibility varies by jurisdiction. Void in Ontario. Bonus seven days after issuance. For additional terms and responsible gaming resources, see DKNG Co Audio Uncle Joey here. As soon as five o' clock hits, you're ready to unwind, right? You turn your brain off for a while and start your journey to the moon within the cloud. Listen. Get yourself some legal vegan lab tested hemp and derived THC products and get ready for a great time. Listen, I love these products, especially the vampire. Indercloud is available in different THC levels, so you're never getting a surprise high. And remember what I'm telling you here. You got to be 21 or over. Now is your chance to float above the stress. Because in the cloud is giving new customers 25% off their first order plus free shipping. I said it. That's right. 25% off their first order plus FREE SHIPPING. Just press in code CHURCH C H U R C H at indhecloud co or click the link in the show notes. That's in the cloud. CO inthecloud co. Use code CHURCH for free shipping plus 25% off your first order. When you order, fill out that quick little survey and it supports the show and keeps in the cloud sending you the good stuff. So go ahead, grab a gummy and vibe out with in the Cloud. I just did. We're back, Jack. Uncle Joey. With my girl here. What's your name?

[Lee Syat]

Kathryn Narducci.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Lorraine Bracco.

[Joey Diaz]

No, no, no, no, no. It's. I'm too high.

[Kathryn Narducci]

It's Catherine Narducci.

[Joey Diaz]

Motherfucker. I know the fucking. The edible. Hit me. What's happening? Beautiful. What's going on? I haven't seen you in years.

[Kathryn Narducci]

You don't even know where your guest is.

[Joey Diaz]

Oh, my God. What's up, beautiful?

[Kathryn Narducci]

Holy shit.

[Joey Diaz]

Thank you for coming over.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Thank you.

[Joey Diaz]

I know it's a long hike over.

[Kathryn Narducci]

On the ferry, I was like Barbra Streisand on. In. In Funny girl. Don't. Don't rain on my parade. I wanted to sing on the tip of the. The ship.

[Joey Diaz]

You can sing now. They love you at Cameraland. Everything is beautiful. Everything is warm.

[Kathryn Narducci]

There's your new career, huh? Broadway musical.

[Joey Diaz]

Listen, I don't even want to go into the city.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Joey the Musical.

[Joey Diaz]

Joey the Musical. That's next.

[Kathryn Narducci]

I like that.

[Joey Diaz]

Next.

[Kathryn Narducci]

That sounds catchy, doesn't it?

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Lee Syat]

I would like to see the musical.

[Joey Diaz]

That'd be what we're gonna sing about. That's the problem.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Sing your life out.

[Joey Diaz]

Sing your life out.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Sing your life out.

[Joey Diaz]

Some Spanish songs, some Italian songs.

[Kathryn Narducci]

I love it.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah, that would be tell your story singing. Oh, they. They wait.

[Kathryn Narducci]

You know, they say, tell your story walking.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Tell your story singing.

[Joey Diaz]

Listen, I can't walk and talk at the same time. Can you tell me if I'm walking? I'm focusing on walking. You know what I'm saying?

[Kathryn Narducci]

Do me a favor. I'm going to give you one acting challenge.

[Joey Diaz]

Go ahead.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Can I. Yeah. I want you to sing the story that you told me about somebody. We won't say who, and told them under the bus, invited you out to dinner, but they wanted you to go to Applebee's. Sing that story.

[Joey Diaz]

Listen, there's no song to sing that shit. And he grew up with me, and he was like, bro, wait till you have this food. $35. You get an entree and two appetizers. And I'm like. I'm like, oh, my God, he is gone.

[Lee Syat]

And did he tell you about the price first or what restaurant it was first?

[Joey Diaz]

No, he told me the price. And I'm like, this sounds like a commercial. This is Applebee's. I watch TV at night, 12 news. I watch New Jersey weather and fucking. This is the commercial they play Applebee's.

[Kathryn Narducci]

You see.

[Joey Diaz]

You heard me tonight before my spiel. I'm very fucking serious about food.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

And when I was in California, you ask him how hard I railed him. Cause we're fucking east coast people.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

We don't need to be reminded of what we can and can't eat from our childhood. But we're not gonna eat shit just to hang out with people. Like, I Refuse that. Like, I refuse that shit.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

Like, if you call me and go, hey, we really wanna invite you to a table reading. And I've done this before. Across from where? Up the block from Church's Chicken. Not Church's, the one in LA with the fucking waffle and chicken.

[Lee Syat]

Oh, with the Waco's.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Roscoe's.

[Joey Diaz]

But across the street there's a studio a couple blocks from there. Shower Studios, Gower Studios. I was supposed to go there for a table reading. Shit. And they're like, we're taking you to lunch first at the Hindu restaurant across the street. And I can't smell curry. And I told them I can't smell curry. I get sick. And they're like, nah, we're going to have it. It's going to be great. And I go, I'm not going in there because I'm going to get sick from the curry I'm taking. I cannot smell that pungent curry. I don't mind all the other stuff. It's the curry that bothers me.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Yeah, It's a strong smell.

[Joey Diaz]

And I wouldn't go in there and I didn't get the roll because I wouldn't go. I didn't give a fuck. I don't eat curry. Papa don't eat curry.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Wow.

[Joey Diaz]

I don't want to smell it either. It makes me sick. My cheeks get red. I'm like, kids are allergic to fucking peanuts. I'm allergic to curry.

[Lee Syat]

He also refuses to go to Thai restaurants because one had bugs in it.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah, yeah. No, because I had a friend who had a wife that was Thai and she didn't do the dishes and the kitchen was always dirty and she had those fruit flies in the kitchen. So if you got. If you're a woman and you alive. Fruit flies in your kitchen. You have fruit flies in your ass. And I don't want to do business with you.

[Lee Syat]

And this is why he doesn't eat Pad Thai, except he breaks his own rules. See, that's what it gets me, is he has rules for everything.

[Joey Diaz]

But I get it from a Japanese place across my house.

[Lee Syat]

That doesn't even make sense.

[Joey Diaz]

It's not that good either. You know what I'm saying?

[Lee Syat]

I was talking about la, where you like Toy the best.

[Joey Diaz]

Pad Thai is toy. Yeah, but I won't go in Toy because they make you take your shoes off. Listen, I know my speech smell like.

[Kathryn Narducci]

I've never been to Toy.

[Joey Diaz]

Toy is right on Schrader, down the block from the Guitar Center.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Wait, wait.

[Joey Diaz]

It is the best T o I.

[Kathryn Narducci]

T O I toy. Toy. Not T O y toy.

[Joey Diaz]

I don't know. What am I spelling?

[Kathryn Narducci]

Be Jack.

[Joey Diaz]

What am I, Chinese now? I don't know this shit. Toy. T O I toi toy.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Okay. I need to know one thing. Can I ask you a question? What is the ether?

[Joey Diaz]

Who?

[Kathryn Narducci]

Ether.

[Lee Syat]

What you and I were talking about.

[Joey Diaz]

We were just discussing.

[Kathryn Narducci]

What is ether?

[Joey Diaz]

Ether, all right? In common terms, ether is a chemical that they wash cocaine with. In the 80s, we had so many problems in the 80s, they were using so much ethereum to clean cocaine. That's why by 87, 88, cocaine started smelling funny because they started taking the ether out and using turpentine and all that shit instead. But it's better with ether. It cleanses the cocaine. It gives it that smell. You could get ether. Ether is not what they give you. The dentist office. Yeah. They use that to knock you out.

[Kathryn Narducci]

I know that. I know that. Ether. But when you use it, in terms of the stories you were telling, ether.

[Joey Diaz]

Is a thing that.

[Kathryn Narducci]

You use it in your standup.

[Joey Diaz]

Okay? Let's say you go buy a car, yeah. And you want a 20, 25, whatever, and it's $80,000, okay? But you run into a motherfucking salesman like me, and we start talking and I go, listen, I have the same car in the lot, $40,000, blah, blah, blah, blah. Now you start. I tipped into your ether. You could save 40. Now you're thinking about all the things you could do with the 40.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Wait, wait, hold on. Stop right there. What is that, ether? What do you mean, ether?

[Joey Diaz]

Hold on. Ether is your mind playing tricks on you. Now it starts telling you, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I could cheat on my husband. I could fucking go to a Coldplay concert. I could afford $40,000 that my husband didn't know. Whatever. I don't know what your motivation is, but you were worried more about that 40 GS.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Thank you.

[Joey Diaz]

That you bought a fucking lemon. You got so caught up in the money that you didn't even look under the fucking hood. You bought a lemon. And ether is when you start believing something, a lie. And we all been in that situation. When I was a kid, my mother had a value and she died. And by the time, two years later, her value was 20 times the amount that I was gonna get. And at the end, I wasn't gonna get anything. I was under the ether. Not to mention cocaine, Quaaludes and all the other fucking things that fucking distort your mind. That's what I'm saying, okay? It's called ether. It's like when you look at a guy that comes out of prison for 10 years and you're gonna hook up with him and I'm gonna change him. He's such a sweetheart. He called me when I get home. Yeah, every guy calls you when you get home the first month. How'd you get home? Did you get home safely? How's your mother? Yeah, we all care. Yeah, everybody's a sweetheart in the beginning.

[Kathryn Narducci]

That's right.

[Joey Diaz]

And then you have these women, then they come back with a black eye and a busted nose. He's so sweet. He's. He's rehabilitated. What? Fucking. Because maybe he's got an 18 inch dick and he puts it in your ass and it comes out of your fucking ear. I don't know. I don't fucking know these things. But I do know that there's this ether. You ever watch those shows where the black guy gets out of prison and she's dating a fat little blonde chick from Louisiana or something? They have that show on, one of those with the midgets. They have a show with the midgets?

[Lee Syat]

I've never seen it.

[Joey Diaz]

They have a channel that's dedicated to all these.

[Lee Syat]

Oh, tlc.

[Joey Diaz]

Tlc.

[Lee Syat]

Okay. I thought there was all.

[Joey Diaz]

TLC has a show that women hook up with guys locked up and you have to see their expectations. And you're like, I remember coming out of prison myself and sitting with my wife at the time, my girlfriend in the front seat and just blabbing off how Christ took my life. And all I'm thinking about is a gram of blow and eating her ass. You know what I'm saying? Do you know what I'm saying? I'm going to college, I'm going to be a doctor, I'm going to fucking speak at universities. I'm going to do this. Knock it off.

[Kathryn Narducci]

How long were you in prison?

[Joey Diaz]

Ten months, nine months.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Oh.

[Joey Diaz]

But you know what I'm saying, Like there's this ether that we fall into. And ether is another word for us wanting to believe something's going to happen.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

If I get on Kill Tony and do my one minute, the world will get to see me and I could get on the fucking Tonight show or HBO could give me a deal. That's ether. You've only been delusional, but you've only been doing comedy for a year and a half.

[Lee Syat]

But the crazy thing is it's not like these things do happen. People do get on Kill Tony. People do get discovered in LA and.

[Joey Diaz]

Like, they do have.

[Lee Syat]

So, like. Like, that fucks with you. Like, it does. Like, you think it's. You know, you think it's a possibility, and it is a possibility, but it's. I just had the ether happen to me with a car. Like, I did, like, sometimes, like you always talk about, like, doing too much research or, like, thinking too much about. So I did all this research on a car I love until I got it. Now I was like, there's eight things I hate about it. I just. I did too much with it. So it's. And it's weird how you don't snap, but you were saying you snapped out of it. Like, you were able to snap out of it.

[Joey Diaz]

Well, no. Well, you blow so much smoke up your ass so long. That's what I'm trying to say. Like, I blew so much smoke up my own ass for so long that now I know how not to blow that smoke up my ass anymore. Okay, that's what I'm talking about. Ether. Ether is a chemical, but it's a state that we go into, and we want something to work in our lives, and we'll push everything else out, even though it's pointing us. And it's not something that you're being positive about. This could be like. This is like the motherfucker that comes up to you and says, if I grow a pound of weed with your name on it, you know, okay, there's sponsors that'll come on this show, and after two times, they'll call and go, nothing happened. And I'll go, what did you want to happen? And then they'll go, well, if we don't get a sale by this week, we want you to do two ads for free. And I'll go, that's not how it works. That's not how this works. See, people want to believe that one time doing something is going to work. And I tell them, yeah, you could put an ad here, but I also want you to put an ad on CNN. It's cheap. @ night, after midnight, it's cheap. You need to do print. You need to do social media ads. And after people see your name in different situations, one day they'll say, you know what? I'll give it to 199.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

You know, it's not just fucking you. You know how many people have contact me to put their juice or their coconut oil or their fucking sea moss on Joe Rogan's podcast? And I'll say to them, listen, it's not my job. And they'll go, but you don't understand. I have a kid who's got leukemia. I can't help you. I can't help you.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

Like, people come at you like that. Like, I have an aunt, she's got one eye. They're going to. She needs surgery. It's 400,000. If you get this on Rogan, it'll save me. Yeah, I don't even. I won't even enable you.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

If you tell me that I'm not going to enable you, I'm not going to go, okay, I'll get you on Rogan. Which. He'll never go for it anyway. Yeah, but there's people that actually believe that. They're at home right now. Look at the liver king. He wanted to go on Rogan so bad, he went to Austin, shit. In a hotel, and he got arrested. You know, people just have you. Come on, Kathy. How many people come up to you with movies scripts, and they go, if.

[Kathryn Narducci]

You could talk every day.

[Joey Diaz]

Every day, if you could.

[Kathryn Narducci]

My DM is filled with them.

[Joey Diaz]

And what are you. And what are they telling you? That they'll be made. They think that this one movie and they'll be quitting Tarantino.

[Kathryn Narducci]

I kind of feel bad when I get DMs.

[Joey Diaz]

So do I. So do I. How do you think I feel?

[Kathryn Narducci]

I know this person puts so much into it, and they don't know. They're still so green. They think if they get me attached or, like, can you give it to this person? It just don't work like that. Like, you don't just go in front of the whole line like, this. Took years to get where I am. Took years for me to get whatever I have. You don't just DM somebody. Think the script's gonna land on my lap, and overnight you're gonna be an overnight success. Cause now I have your script, and I'm gonna hand it to somebody. You know, I'm gonna hand it to somebody, and it's gonna make your dreams come true. Doesn't work like that at all. I just feel bad when people put so much into one person, me, you, Whoever else they're DMing. And I understand where they're coming from. So I have empathy that I know. Like, this person doesn't really get it, and he doesn't understand how it works and how you really go through a real process of pitching your script to real producers. You don't just DM an actor. I'm just an actor. I'm trying to get a movie, too. I'm trying to work Myself, like, just because I know people, I'm not going to take your script. I don't even know you. You're a stranger. DMing me and hand it to one of my friends. If I'm going to hand my friends one of my scripts, it's going to be something that I need from my script that I wrote. And I'm going to. I'm going to use that favor for myself, which I don't even ask people for favors ever. I'm very uncomfortable with it. And now the stranger that I never met is like, Ms. Narducci, will you read my script? And it doesn't work like that, but I understand you. And more props to you. Go after your dream. Do whatever you got to do. Knock on every door, break down every door. Try to get your thing out there. Try to. You know, I get people like, can you put a word for me on, you know, Godfather, Harlem, or when I was on Sopranos or any. Any show that I was on or any movie, will you tell them I'll be an extra or this or that? Like, it doesn't really work like that. And I feel bad for these people who dm because I want to help everybody, but if I helped everybody, what they don't know is behind you. I have 50,000 other DMS with people asking the same thing as you, and I want you all to win. But this is not how it works. It could, though. So never stop doing what you might think is impossible. Always do it. But it really. The odds are not really in your favor of working that way. The shortcut, DM this person, Boom, get the hit. It's going to work. Everything is going to work out. It doesn't really work like that. I want it to work like that. You know, for me, something like that kind of worked with me. You know, I walked off the street, open audition, got a Bronx tale, and it did work like that. So that's why I have empathy for these people that are trying, like, the one shot, if I just do it, you know, DM people, however they're doing might work. Maybe somebody will answer you and will get it to somebody. So don't stop whoever you are. Keep doing what you're doing if that's the way you want to do it. But most likely it won't work that way. You got to go through the proper channels. And I think you have more of a shot working it that way, going to a Guam.

[Joey Diaz]

And I have empathy also, and that's what you have to look at it. And I'm Empathetic also. But here's where it doesn't get good.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

I've helped those people.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

I've been one of those guys that said, let me see what I could do.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

And I've gotten some.

[Kathryn Narducci]

I've done it too.

[Joey Diaz]

And then it doesn't turn into one favor, it turns into two or three. So it went from my watch. Borrowing my watch for the day. Tonight, you're going for my whole arm.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Well, then what? That's right.

[Joey Diaz]

People don't know when to stop. That's one thing.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

And then the other thing is I look at the reasoning they're coming at me with. And like I said to you guys, I've had people contact me and say, I need this. My daughter's got leukemia. They know I have a daughter. So they hit me that way.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

Okay. They hit me with weird stuff that I.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Well, that's called a guilt punch.

[Joey Diaz]

Just weed shit. This weed business shit. Those are the biggest maggots in the world. They're the biggest maggots in the world. The weed business, the way they leach onto you. They're the biggest fucking maggots in the world. And that's why I don't mess with none of them. I've cut them all off. You can't even give one of those motherfuckers a prop because next thing you know, you're a spokesman for that company. Oh, and you can't, dog. You got to be very careful.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

And you try to walk the earth as a Christian kung fu. You know, helping people out.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Yes.

[Joey Diaz]

But people don't know when they fucking. When. No, is no. People don't know when you reach your limit, when there's nothing I could do for you. I wish I could help you. Yeah, but you're at. You know, I get. Before anything happens in my world, I got 20 people that I love and cheer for. Before I donate to the Red Cross or fucking this guy, I got 20 family members. You know what I'm saying?

[Kathryn Narducci]

Yes.

[Joey Diaz]

If you think I'm gonna give 200,000 to some art gallery to have a party and drink wine. Ha, ha, ha. But my fucking people are starving. My people ain't doing shit. No, I'm not doing that. That's what most people do. They wanna save the world, but not the people in front of their fucking eyes. Okay.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

I'm one of those guys. So you want me to do this for you, but meanwhile, I got people in front of you that have been with me for 20 fucking years, walking around, eating, taking Shit, fucking, whatever, you know? And that's what people don't understand either. Like, I get requests for things. I mean, I get people asking me to ask Joe Rogan for UFC tickets, $10,000 tickets. They don't even know the man.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Yeah, I get people asking me to give De Niro. That's the biggest request. Can you give this to De Niro? My father was in the Mafia, and they think he's really in the Mafia. I'm like, look, I was married to him in a movie. He's not really my husband. I can't ask for favors like that. It was fake. I'm not really. And. But I do like you. I help where I can help. But people that I know, or sometimes a stranger, one stranger will hit it right, say it right, do it in a way right where they're not trying to. To not do it right. They're just being them. And it's. I see it's coming from a raw, honest place. And they're like, Ms. Nadeucci, if there's anything, I'll be an extra, this, that, and I'll go look at their page, and I'll look at their face, and I'll look at their eyes, and I'll go, I like this guy. I'm help this one.

[Joey Diaz]

Me too.

[Kathryn Narducci]

And I'll go, and I'll go to casting if I'm on a show, and I'll be like, if there's any extra stuff, get this guy. And I'll help. I'll help. I'll help my friends if I can help, you know, even acquaintances, most of my friends are on their own and they're doing their own thing. They don't really need my help. But like, some acquaintances that want to be like, get me a little role, an extra job or something, like, I will go right to casting. I have no problem with that. If I'm on a show. You do have a connection with casting. That's somewhere where you do have a little. Not pull, but a real connection where you. They may listen to you. You could help them with some extras. And I can do that. I'll do that. I'll help people or my friends that are actors. Like, certainly you. You're a great actor. Like, I'll be like, he should be on Godfather. What, are you kidding? Or like, whatever I do, I always mention my friends, but the people who just DM and send me a whole script, they expect you to read it. You know, you're so busy, you got so much shit on your own.

[Joey Diaz]

The motherfuckers are the ones when you're eating dinner or you're at a bar talking to somebody you haven't seen in 10 years and they come up to you, excuse me. And I don't mind the excuse me, nice to meet you. Or take a picture.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

But it's the motherfuckers that had three drinks in them.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Yeah, See?

[Joey Diaz]

Cause once you involve alcohol, that's a complete different animal.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

Now they want to sit next to you and stand there and ask you creepy questions. And listen, I'm telling fucking Catherine Narducci my life story. I don't need you over here. But they don't understand that.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

And if you say something to them, they get offended.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

They want to talk business. At 11 o' clock when you're on three mushrooms, you smoked 18 joints and you're fucking high. And it's like, guy, go away. It never. Like people we talked last week about. I learned something from acting and I took it for the rest of my life.

[Kathryn Narducci]

What was it?

[Joey Diaz]

The moment before.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Love it.

[Joey Diaz]

The moment before.

[Kathryn Narducci]

It's so important.

[Joey Diaz]

But then when you look at the moment before life when some guy runs down the streets and says, katherine, fuck you, I hated you in the sopranos. And it's 8:30 in the morning and now you have two things. You can look at him and go, go fuck your mother. And lower yourself. You keep walking and go, what happened to him at 8:05 in the morning?

[Kathryn Narducci]

Yeah, yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

What happened to him? Did his wife bite his dick?

[Kathryn Narducci]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

What happened to him? The moment before. Because if you go at him when he comes back with a knife and stabs you.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Oh, yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

It's like people on road rage when you get beat up in a fucking car. You don't know where that guy was. The moment before.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

It's so very important.

[Kathryn Narducci]

It's so important.

[Joey Diaz]

So you know, I'm sitting there talking to Catherine and our dude. She had a bar having three drinks with her. This idiot comes over, hey, Bucho.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Hey.

[Joey Diaz]

This guy, big, puffy. And then on and on. And all of a sudden you're like, you know, my mother just died. And they just cry. They don't know what the moment before. So when you walk over there, be very cautious. And that's something that you learn at your home.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

That's not something you learn at night. You learn that in your home? Your mother taught you that shit?

[Kathryn Narducci]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

You know, approach him, say hello and keep fucking walking. He's talking to a woman. People feel like they know you. And listen, these are all the things of why we got into our business. These are all the opposite. Like, I watched Olay Olay. Did you ever see Olay Olay? The Rolling Stones in South America?

[Kathryn Narducci]

No.

[Joey Diaz]

How Mick Jagger walks by himself. Mick Jagger loves to fuck with people. So I remember a year ago, he went into Nashville and sat at a bar for like an hour. He's the king of that shit.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

And they asked him, they said, bill.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Murray does that too.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah. Aren't you scared that people are going to buy him? And Mick Jagg goes, it's part of the gig, man. Yeah, it's really part of the gig. That's all part of the gig. I love people. It's the people that come up to you expecting something. You know, I told a joke on stage. I go to a strip club by my house once or twice. I go in there, I eat some mushrooms.

[Kathryn Narducci]

This is true.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah. I go in the. You know, there's like, listen. There's nothing there to see. There's Nothing. They have TVs and the music is good. And the DJ is hilarious. Cause he curses and stuff. He's like, get this big ass bitch up on stage and all that type of shit.

[Kathryn Narducci]

So you're just strolling, dip in and out. Get amused. Go home.

[Joey Diaz]

I'm strolling. I know the. I won't even get a lap dance. Yeah, I'm too embarrassed.

[Kathryn Narducci]

You're just going in, you're getting the dip in and out. Little muse. Go home.

[Joey Diaz]

Every time I go in there, wrap it up. The first night I went in there was great. The second night, three kids come over to me all creepy. Now, this is a strip club. Look your best. They still got the hat on from the farm. You know, three fucking do's and botzes from. You know, like, they said, if they're from anywhere else from Brooklyn, they're all farmers. These guys were farmers. They hadn't bathed. It's Friday. They went right from work to out. And they come over to me, you know, Joey Diaz And I went to strip club dancing titties. Russian chick up there shaking her tits, looking at the pole. You Joey Diaz? Yeah. I'm Aaron Rodgers. No, I'm Aaron Rodgers. Hey, do you really know Joe Rogan? They're 25 years old. Then they start with the zero, eat elk meat every day. Does he really go in a tub? And I go, yeah. But the whole time I'm thinking, this is society. It's like that guy you bumped into with the big ass that said hello to you. Oh, God.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Jesus.

[Joey Diaz]

He had no testosterone. Why would a 25 year old talk to a fat fuck felon old fuck about another old fuck that lives in Texas that eats elk? There's pussy everywhere, there's bitches everywhere. But you rather talk to me about Joe Rogan and does he eat elk on a Friday fucking night? And you want to ask me what's wrong with fucking society at the highest level? That's what's wrong with society. I'm there with a bunch of pussy whether you like it or not. It's still pussy. You can smell it in the fucking air. And you want to talk about Joe Rogan?

[Kathryn Narducci]

What do you do in that case?

[Joey Diaz]

I put my beard down, I get in the car and I go home and smoke 15 joints and pray for society. Pray that the Jew Israelis don't get them. Play that Israel don't get him. What do you do? What the fuck do you do when I'm in the strip club? I don't want to talk. First off, I'm 62. I can't hear you if there's music on.

[Kathryn Narducci]

No, me either.

[Joey Diaz]

You want to come and talk? You. You're going to be green in the face. Yeah, because I'm just going to go. Really? Yeah. And then look over and you can keep talking after that. Because I'm looking at bitches. I didn't come here to talk to fucking anybody. Okay? I wanna look at naked women. I'm 62 years old. I've earned that right.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Yeah, you have.

[Joey Diaz]

I'm out of the park with a long jacket, a rain jacket on.

[Kathryn Narducci]

You're not even getting a lap dance. You're allowed to sit there and look.

[Joey Diaz]

I don't wanna lap dance. That's still embarrassing, too.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

Then you come in your pants and you squeak out of there. And my uncle, I gotta squeak out of there with that. And then I got an itchy nut and red skin for a month because I didn't want to dry patch it in the car. No, I'm too old for that shit. Yeah.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Now I gotta dry patches a lot of information.

[Joey Diaz]

You know how we do it here, Katherine?

[Kathryn Narducci]

Oh, man. So I want to ask you a question now.

[Joey Diaz]

Go ahead.

[Kathryn Narducci]

You sent me a funny photo because you liked the movie the Ultra Nights.

[Joey Diaz]

One of my favorites.

[Kathryn Narducci]

And you send me a photo. I love that. You sent me the photo of your house at your tv, in your. Where was that?

[Joey Diaz]

Basement.

[Kathryn Narducci]

In your basement. And it was. I think it was. Was it me on the screen? Yeah, it was you in the Ulta Nights.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah.

[Kathryn Narducci]

I want to ask you what is it that. What do you think it is that you like about that movie? What is it that you like about it?

[Joey Diaz]

Well, let's get back to basics. I've always liked you so I loved you in the Bronx Tale. Then you popped up in fucking the Sopranos and you were really good in that. I really enjoy you.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Thank you.

[Joey Diaz]

There's not a lot of people I enjoy, enjoy. And I'm the type of guy, if I know you, I kind of cheer for you, right? For the movie. Like when you're in the movie, I'm cheering for you while I'm watching a movie. I loved you in that other fucking movie, the Irishman. Which one?

[Kathryn Narducci]

Irishman?

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah, when you took Joe Pesci's clothes off.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Oh yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

I loved that scene. You know, not until you took his clothes off, but he said take off your shoes and whatever.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Yeah, the bloody clothes.

[Joey Diaz]

I love when you came down, how you looked. But this movie, there was something different about you. This movie was you. You know, Aerosmith is Aerosmith. Guns n Roses is Aerosmith on steroids. This was Catherine Narducci on steroids. This was all your years work. Cause you've always been funny. Just being you, Arthur. They told you not to shoot the fucking gun off in the city limits. You know, you always gotta say fucking something, you know. But this movie, you were extremely funny. Your character really played out and your beauty played out. It was such a. I was disappointed when that movie came out. I read for that movie and I was very. I wasn't disappointed. I didn't get it. I'm not one of those guys.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Could I ask you, what role did.

[Joey Diaz]

You read for every Tony Bednar? Everybody read for fucking Tony. And then they cast you from Tony Bender. And the scene I read for, they broke it up into five guys. Fucking brilliant. That's. We could talk for hours about that movie.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Wow.

[Joey Diaz]

The scene when he. When he's yelling at the TV veto.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

And they go tell him about Columbo. He let off whatever. The dude. The dude jumped. The dude jumped six stories with a five foot blanket and all that shit.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

That was all one character. They broke it into five different bosses. Talking about how Columbo put that guy in for mayor and to let the guy they shot in the barbershop.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Oh, Maranzano. Michael Rispoli's character.

[Joey Diaz]

Joe Maranzano or whatever his name is. Yeah, Marano or whatever the fuck.

[Kathryn Narducci]

I'm so mad. I don't know, but can't think of it. Right.

[Joey Diaz]

Fucking court scene. You are fucking Brilliant. He spends all his money on the Poutons. It was very reminiscent of the scene when Christopher gets the AA thing, when you all go to his house and.

[Kathryn Narducci]

It turned out the intervention.

[Joey Diaz]

The intervention. It became a circus. That court thing became a circus. And then you even say it in the scene. This has become a circus. But the beauty about this.

[Kathryn Narducci]

You're a clown.

[Joey Diaz]

You're a clown. You spend all your money with the Poutons. Ask him. He gives all his money to the Bhutans. I'm a broke man, and he's there fighting. He's my stepdaughter.

[Kathryn Narducci]

He's good in that.

[Joey Diaz]

I haven't made him a dollar in years. You know, I'm an old man. I live on Social Security. And you're like, bags of money come to his house. But the beauty about that whole scene and how it was written that at the end, you come back and you go, and your honor, you want me to tell you what the fucking dumbest thing in the world is? I still fucking love him. If he asked me to take me back, I take him back today.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Dysfunctional.

[Joey Diaz]

That's a beautiful fucking scene.

[Kathryn Narducci]

That's funny.

[Joey Diaz]

And, you know, the scene was written like that. I know. You improvised. I know he told you, just do what you do. But even that scene, like, no matter what happened, I still love him. You sold that. You really sold all.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Thank you.

[Joey Diaz]

How he tortured you, you know, with the money. When he comes in to get the fucking money from the register. Oh, yeah, And Tony's there. Or.

[Kathryn Narducci]

And I jump over the bar.

[Joey Diaz]

Jump over the bar. There's just. I enjoyed that movie. When that movie came out, I was really depressed. Like it had been out. And somebody goes. I go, that movie didn't come out yet. And they're like, yes, it did. It's in the fucking movie theaters. I go, no, it's not. And I went online. I'm like, oh, my God, it's in the movie theater. I didn't know nothing.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Wow.

[Joey Diaz]

To the release date. I didn't see an ad. I didn't see an Internet, nothing.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Yeah, they didn't really over. Over publicize it too much.

[Joey Diaz]

The problem is, when you have such a big budget like that on a film like that, there's a lot. You ever put on an Amazon film late at night that you've never seen or never heard of?

[Kathryn Narducci]

I don't have Amazon.

[Joey Diaz]

Wait, 5 out of 10 of them are horrible.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Okay.

[Joey Diaz]

Like, I just watched one about d'. Onofrio. He's a mob boss in Brooklyn and he Goes. He gets hit in the head and he goes into a tree.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Oh, shit.

[Joey Diaz]

Oh, my God. It's horrible, but funny.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Sent d'.

[Joey Diaz]

Onofrio. Yeah. He becomes. He's a mob boss now. He gets hit in the head. He gets. All his old men go to shoot him. He jumps into a lake, they think he's dead, and he shows up on a tree.

[Kathryn Narducci]

What do you mean in a tree house?

[Joey Diaz]

In a tree house. Because they're gonna tear down the forest. So he wants to sit in a tree house. So he's a mob boss. They're all coming to him going, please, Vito, come down.

[Kathryn Narducci]

In a treehouse.

[Joey Diaz]

In a fucking treehouse. Oh, my God. Cute movie. But then there's like another one. There's like 20 Italian movies on there that all of them should be banned. All of them.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Are you in Great End?

[Joey Diaz]

No.

[Lee Syat]

And then not even just taken off, Just banned. Why, what's that? They should be banned.

[Joey Diaz]

These movies are just Never made them. But there's a movie on Amazon. Let me tell you the cast.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Go ahead.

[Joey Diaz]

Godfather of Harlem. The black dude. The black dude? Yeah.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Oh, are you talking about Forest Whitaker?

[Joey Diaz]

It's Forest Whitaker.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Oh, Forest Whitaker.

[Joey Diaz]

It's Ray Liotta. It's fucking Justin Timberlake's wife. Jessica Biel, Fucking gorgeous.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Gorgeous. She's.

[Joey Diaz]

I mean, it's an all star lineup. The English kid from the movie with fucking Angelina Jolie. I mean, great names. Movie was shot in Toy. Movie was. It was shot in toy. But I have a friend who was the hot dog man in that movie. It's a movie about Ray Leotta, comes out of prison and he goes to see his daughter and it's Jessica Biel, but he can't tell her. And Jessica kind of hits on him. And now he's caught between a rock and a hard place and he's gonna die.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Wait a minute. His daughter's hitting on him?

[Joey Diaz]

She doesn't know it's his father.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Oh, that's good.

[Joey Diaz]

He goes to the strip club.

[Kathryn Narducci]

How is this movie, though? At the bottom?

[Joey Diaz]

It's a good movie. It's very interesting. Oh, shit. You know who plays the strip club owner? Roadhouse. The dude who died of cancer with a fucking wig on. Like Walter McDowell. What's the guy that died of cancer from Roadhouse? Oh, Patrick Swayze, dog. It's an all star fucking lineup. But I have a buddy who plays a hot dog man in a scene with Forest Whitaker, one of Gabriel Iglesias buddies. So I bumped into him and I go, bro, good dude, too. I Forget. He's on a commercial now, too. I go, bro, I saw you in that movie. You were fucking great. I go, why didn't that movie ever get released? And he goes, they put so much money into the actors and the locations and shit that they ran out of money for the advertising.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Wow, really?

[Joey Diaz]

And he goes, it happens a lot.

[Kathryn Narducci]

What's the name of the movie?

[Joey Diaz]

IMD Blue. Blue something. IMDb.

[Lee Syat]

Patrick Swayze.

[Joey Diaz]

And who just put Ray Liotta's IMDb.

[Kathryn Narducci]

And I gotta know. We gotta know now.

[Joey Diaz]

No, this movie is fucking wild. And like, they shot it all on Gardner. They shot it where I lived. They shot. I know all the businesses there. So the end of Gardner, there's a floral shop, and they just closed that during the pandemic because that's where it. Powder blue, powder blue, Powder blue. Who's in the movie? Tell them the cast.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Yeah, give us the cast.

[Lee Syat]

Jessica Beale.

[Joey Diaz]

Eddie Redmayne.

[Lee Syat]

Horace Whitaker. Ray Leota for Los Angeles.

[Kathryn Narducci]

I thought Vincent d' Onofrio was in it.

[Joey Diaz]

No, no, no, no, no. The other guy from Roadhouse. No. Forest Whitaker. The Godfather. Harlem. That's one.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Oh, wait. What was Vincent Sinofrio? Oh, he lived in the treehouse, right? What was that movie? Shit would this movie had to be long ago. Patrick Swayze's dead Thousand nine. Oh.

[Joey Diaz]

Armando Cosillo. That's my brother. He's. He's in that movie. He plays a hot dog man.

[Lee Syat]

Yeah, his name? Jose.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah, he fucking told me. He goes, they ran out of budgeting. They ran out of advertising money.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Wow.

[Joey Diaz]

A lot of times a move that'll happen. So that's what I thought happened with Alto Knights, but I still wanted to see it. At the time, I couldn't take my daughter. I could take my daughter to the movies, but she was too busy with softball and shit. So finally it came on tv. Yeah, I paid for it first. I paid for it and I fucking liked it. I loved you. I loved Debra Messing. I loved De Niro. Did you like him as Vito? I mean, listen, I'm a De Niro dude, but as Vito, all my friends.

[Kathryn Narducci]

He was so good.

[Joey Diaz]

Oh, my. So good. A couple of those wise guys in that movie were fucking great. His partner, Tony Bender, I didn't like the way they put.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Tony Bender passed away.

[Joey Diaz]

Did he? After the movie came out?

[Kathryn Narducci]

Yeah, before it came out.

[Joey Diaz]

I really.

[Kathryn Narducci]

I love that guy.

[Joey Diaz]

I didn't like Vito in that movie. The guy that played. No, Vincent. The guy that played Vincent. What? Vincent plays in Godfather of Harlem. The guy that was the boxer.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Oh, the chin.

[Joey Diaz]

I didn't like the chin in that movie. They made him look like a retard. The Chin wasn't a retard. He just shot the guy by mistake. He didn't shoot him, right. Instead of shooting him three or four times, he shot him and ran away. But that guy didn't go on to fucking lead a crime family being a retard. He ended up playing a retard later in his life. But it was also a scam. He was that brilliant. That he played.

[Kathryn Narducci]

He played that. He did.

[Joey Diaz]

That's the only guy I didn't like in that movie. How they played. Everything else was solid. I like the name of the club, the social club was the Alto Knights.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Yeah, the Alto Knights.

[Joey Diaz]

I liked how Columbo was very politically fucking. That's what against the was, you know, they gotta be in politics, rocking it. And I liked all that. And you were great, man.

[Kathryn Narducci]

I thought the movie was so good. I thought De Niro was on his game. I loved everybody in it. I loved the whole cast. And I love Tony Bender. I thought he was so authentic and real, and his acting was honest. He was so chill, that guy. Always just like himself. And that's the key to acting. You have to bring yourself. You have to, have to, have to. And I love what you said about acting. That's the key, too. The moment before, it's like. It's so important. The moment before. And what do you want from a scene? Also, it's like, what. How do I want you to feel when I walk in this room? How do I want you to feel? Right. What's my objective? I want to be a good guest on this show. That's my objective today. Right? I want it. I want it to be a good show. So try to find. What would I do to do that? Good subjects to talk about. Make it interesting, but be natural and organic. That's my objective. I just want to people to like the show. I hope people like this show and find it interesting. And how do we do that? We. We just come up with good subjects that we want to connect with people who are watching it. So, you know, if we were filming this as a movie, it would be the same thing. What's your objective in this scene when you. When you're filming the podcast scene? Oh, I just want to be a good guest on. In this scene. Right. It's so simple. Keep it all simple. Keep everything simple. And the moments before are great. It's a great thing. I'm glad you learned that.

[Joey Diaz]

Long time ago. Like when I first got to la.

[Kathryn Narducci]

That's so great.

[Joey Diaz]

And I learned that that was a $35 a month acting class. His name was Frank something Italian guy from Brooklyn.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Wow.

[Joey Diaz]

And he taught on Monday nights. And I started with him. Frank Perna, something like that. And I started with him cause he was close to the house, he was cheap. But the only thing I didn't like was it was Monday nights and Monday nights was the hot comedy night in la. So I'd have to go to class, do a scene, then leave. I didn't like doing that. Yeah, the guy was such a good teacher that I didn't want to do that.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Right.

[Joey Diaz]

And then. Then I went to Ivanichubbuck.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Oh my God. And Ivana Chubbuck, she's like the. She's like the shit out there.

[Joey Diaz]

She's the shit.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Did you learn from her?

[Joey Diaz]

Yes. Yes.

[Kathryn Narducci]

What's the biggest takeaway from her class? She makes everything about sex.

[Joey Diaz]

This is what she does.

[Kathryn Narducci]

She doesn't make it. I take that back. No, she just. It's about. Am I right? Is had a lot. Because I sat in.

[Joey Diaz]

When you watch the mayor of Eatontown. Who was in that movie? The mayor. The female. The mu. The chick from Leo's wife. And the fucking boat. The Titanic.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Oh. Oh, that's. Oh God, she's amazing. That's.

[Joey Diaz]

When you read Kate like, that bitch has no barrier. She'll show you a pussy. She.

[Kathryn Narducci]

She doesn't care how she looks. She's not. You know what my acting teacher used to say? This is going to say what she is. My acting teacher Charlie, who died used to say, stop being Amira. Not to me. If you were on stage and you were worried about your looks and. And what you were wearing, he'd say, stop being a fucking mirror actress. She's anything but that. She doesn't give a shit. She'll come out, no makeup, raw. She didn't care what.

[Joey Diaz]

She just was in the Titanic. I get home all coked up one night, I'm sitting there and I put HBO on. And all of a sudden it's her with a pussy out with Harvey Cartel drawing her. And I'm like, she just won a fucking tremendous Oscar. And she's on late night. So one night I was thinking about that. Cause I saw something else and a pussy was out.

[Kathryn Narducci]

What?

[Joey Diaz]

I googled her. Her pussy's been out like 18.

[Kathryn Narducci]

What'd you say?

[Joey Diaz]

Little monster? Something like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Movie. It's a movie. It's a movie. But fucking.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Oh, with the pedophiles?

[Joey Diaz]

Yes. It's. It's crazy that she doesn't care. I read an article where the producers called him and said that she looked chubby. And she goes, leave that. In that scene where she fucked the guy in that. And her pussy was. I mean, she's fucking nuts. That's what Ivana does to you. Ivana takes you. Takes a woman who's grown up in my house, let's say, like, if I had, like, my daughter, I'm very like, you know, this, this, that. I give her some rope. But she knows the bottom fucking line. I'm a Cuban old school dad, so I don't wanna fucking hear it. Huh?

[Kathryn Narducci]

You're strict.

[Joey Diaz]

I'm 12, she's 12. She's going into Jaws of Life now with me. Yeah, her mother had it, so she's 12 now. I mean, me and the mother have it, but now I gotta look at her a little more. Now I gotta watch her a little more. These are the ages where they need their dad. They break away from the mom a little bit. And you either have to talk to them or turn your head. You gotta talk to them and tell them what's going on. You know what I'm saying? You gotta talk to them. So now you threw me the fuck off. What I was gonna say.

[Kathryn Narducci]

No, you're talking about how you with Kate. You said Kate.

[Joey Diaz]

So when you get a girl like that that moves to Hollywood and says, I'm never gonna show my titties, that's great. Until you walk into a Vanna's cat class. Ivana's like Mitzi Shaw. When you tell them what you don't want to do, that's the first thing they make you do. I told Ivana one day, I don't like Ivana. I'm 300 fucking pounds, you know? Don't fucking put me in a scene to kiss a fucking girl.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Next thing you know, you kissing a girl.

[Joey Diaz]

Like, I don't want to do it. Next thing you know, she gave me the role of Ernie, Ernest Bognine in that movie where he plays the butcher and he falls in love with the pretty girl upstairs.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Marty, Marty.

[Joey Diaz]

That's the first scene I did. She made me kiss somebody. And dog, I had to go to the girl's house and rehearse it with her. I would tell her, no, I don't want to do it.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Could I ask you something?

[Joey Diaz]

Go ahead.

[Kathryn Narducci]

You're so outspoken. You're so. I'm not going to say the word. The pee this, the p. That The F this, F that. Try to get you to do like a little thing where you're kissing somebody. What, do you shrivel up like a prune?

[Joey Diaz]

Yep.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Why?

[Joey Diaz]

That's why. I'm not big on.

[Kathryn Narducci]

So then I'm gonna tell you what that's about, the psychology. It's all affront.

[Joey Diaz]

I'm a prude motherfucker.

[Kathryn Narducci]

No, you're. That's all a front.

[Joey Diaz]

Listen. No, no, no, no. Because I know for a fact. Listen, I'm 62. I'll tell you the truth.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Okay, yeah, go ahead.

[Joey Diaz]

I love strip clubs and I'm a Cuban old school cokehead. I had to fight off the machismo all those years, but I got nothing wrong with Catherine Narducci coming up to you at a bar. I go, kathy, why are you talking to Lee? I got an eight ball of coke and I'm gonna suck your fucking uterus out, okay? And I want you to go, you're right, let's get the fuck outta here. Is that how that would go now? God forbid. No, but now, God forbid. Catherine Narducci said to me, hey, I got an eight ball of coke, let's go back to my house, have a few cocktails, reverse it, I'm done. I run out of there like a pussy. I've done it before and I'll do it again. And especially it is the weirdest fucking thing. So when I go to a strip club, I don't mind me going to you if I'm coked up and drunk. I haven't done Coke in 18 years, so that side of my personality left.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

So now it's even more. But then I felt bad for the girl. I'm £300, why would a pretty girl want to kiss me? That's forcing myself on her. Even for a fucking scene in a movie. When a girl has to kiss a man in a movie, the guy's at least a fucking eight. Okay? And she don't mind, he's an eight.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Okay?

[Joey Diaz]

I was a four. I don't want to kiss a girl that's a fucking 10. That's 20 years younger than me or 10 years younger than me.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Can I just say something?

[Joey Diaz]

Go ahead.

[Kathryn Narducci]

You're. Do you love acting? You're an actor?

[Joey Diaz]

I love doing it.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Are you an actor?

[Joey Diaz]

I don't know.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Oh, I like that honest answer. I don't know.

[Joey Diaz]

It depends who I'm around. It depends who I'm with. It depends who I'm in a scene with. It depends who I'm working with. I don't know, I don't know. I can't do voices. I can't do fucking accents. I can't dance. I can't jump up and down. So I don't really know. I could look at your eyes. I could be sincere. I know all the. I know all the principles of what I want to do because I stole the principles of acting and used it in my standup. Hmm. So I was one of those dudes that understood acting.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

Like, I just told you about a movie I have an audition for.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Yeah, Okay.

[Joey Diaz]

I gotta go to New Mexico. They're paying scale.

[Kathryn Narducci]

They want you to play Italian, Mexican.

[Joey Diaz]

Right.

[Kathryn Narducci]

But what do they call it? A fox?

[Joey Diaz]

That's not the point. That's not the point.

[Kathryn Narducci]

At the border, right?

[Joey Diaz]

Smuggler, whatever. Right. But the point is this. The point is this, that it's a chance to act.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Something's kicking in over there.

[Joey Diaz]

Oh, yeah. He's all zomboed out. Shit, he's all zomboed out.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Kick it in.

[Joey Diaz]

It's his lucky night. So, you know, there was a time when I was already on top of that. Remember I booked a bunch of movies from sending tapes in. I do my own auditions. I get films in pre production and get the scripts from the agency.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Do you feel in your heart. Do you feel in your heart of hearts, in your gut, the same way if I said to you, joey, are you a comedian?

[Joey Diaz]

That I am.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Are you a comedian?

[Joey Diaz]

Fuck yeah.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Are you a good comedian?

[Joey Diaz]

Yes.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Do you understand comedy?

[Joey Diaz]

Yes.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Do you think you're a good comedian?

[Joey Diaz]

There's better comedians, but I'm good. I could hold my own in a room. Let's just say that. Okay, Okay. I could hold my own in a room.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Okay?

[Joey Diaz]

I'm not the best comic, I'm not the best writer, but energy and heart and enthusiasm always wins with me. Okay, it could be a minute joke, but the way I enthuse, I'm enthused about it. It becomes bigger. It's smoke and mirrors.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Do you think that you were born to be a comedian?

[Joey Diaz]

Yes.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Is there anything else you can do better than comedy?

[Joey Diaz]

Steal, Rob plan, I love all that shit.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Still today you can steal better than you could be a comedian.

[Joey Diaz]

No, no, no. That's not even in my world anymore.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Okay?

[Joey Diaz]

So I couldn't be a burglar now. You know what I'm saying? I couldn't walk on the ladder. I can't go in through a mirror, you know, I go in through a tv, I go in through a fucking window. I'm gonna Be sore for four days. So.

[Kathryn Narducci]

So stealing with survival. Comedy is for survival too. Because comedy, I mean, I'm not a comedian, but I'm an actor and I understand the art form of any musician, a painter, a comedian, an actor.

[Joey Diaz]

Comedy was survival until I realized the stakes. I'd say that to you that comedy was survival. I didn't want anybody to get in touch with me. I had just gone through a divorce. I owed $250,000 between attorneys, Discover cards, Visa cards, Mastercards, American Express card. I couldn't get a job because of the felony. What was I going to become, an acupuncturist? What was I going to do? I can't take the test, I can't get license. So at that point in my life, I was always a big fan of comedy. I never thought I'd headline. I figured I'd do comedy and drive around the country until I fucking got old. Or old deed. When I started this, it was just to disappear and to find out who the fuck I was. Let's take this in a car, a moderate car. It wasn't no Cadillac, it wasn't no Maserati. It was an 89 Nissan B210 with a broken suspension. And I just wanted to go out there and see what was out there. But then the stakes got high and then I found out that Tim Allen had done time and other comedians had done time, and Lenny Bruce had been arrested a few times. So I felt him in good company. And then I read a Lenny Bruce book that he broke it down. He lived at that hotel, the Chelsea, and he did heroin and he fucked strippers and he slept all day. And I'm like, I'm in. That's. What else do I want to do?

[Kathryn Narducci]

So you identified with you, that is.

[Joey Diaz]

Lenny Bruce with playing in a jazz club, being a comedian in a strip club at night, and then going back to a hotel with no responsibility, no rent. You know, you pay rent, but it's not a big house. You don't have to pay hoa to mow your lawn. It's just a fucking room, a woman and a fucking syringe. And you're fucking and sucking and you're writing comedy. What could be better than that? But it didn't work out for me that way because I didn't want to do everyone and do comedy. So. But what that meant to me was that you were. You didn't want to be part of a society. It was like joining Hell's Angels. It was like, so you were like a rebel joining The Mafia.

[Kathryn Narducci]

You were a rebel.

[Joey Diaz]

I was a rebel because I had no choice. Because I couldn't get a job in the regular world. And I'm one of those guys. I'm not saying anything bad, but as much of a douchebag as he is, I'm not saying this. I'm saying from people's opinions. People don't like Sammy the Bull Gravano, but I got news for you. Sammy the Bull. Sammy the Bull Scrivano. Nobody liked him, and I understood why. But that motherfucker could run a CEO. He could be a CEO of any fucking company. And there's a lot of those gangsters that could have been CEOs of any one of those companies. I just repeated this here to Lee and these guys one day. I learned good things from bad people, okay? Every. No matter how bad they are, they have one good fucking trait. Maybe it's remembering something. Maybe it's mathematics. I mean, you know, what's the famous Jew? Fucking Meyer Lansky. You know, these guys were all. He was a mastermind. He dropped out of school when. When he was 6. And he was dyslexic and with a bum leg to boot. You know, it doesn't matter what your. What your fucking. Well, I have an IQ of 180. But if you send money to Africans when they email you because your mother left you a will in Africa, what good is that? 180? What good is it if you go 10 for 10 on Jeopardy? I don't give a fuck about that. It's what you translate into the street. It's like functional fitness. When we're kids, we do curls and squats. I still do squats, but it's more for function. Now I use bands and fucking, you know, pulleys and whatever the fuck. So it's the same thing. You adjust. My point is, I have no idea because I took the same pills as Lee.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Well, here's my. My question is to you. Do you think you're a good comedian? Yes. And were you born to be a comedian?

[Joey Diaz]

Yes.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Well, you were more born. I'm going to tell you something about you.

[Joey Diaz]

I was born to be a fucking attorney.

[Kathryn Narducci]

I'm going to tell you something about.

[Joey Diaz]

You, a Jew attorney.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Could I tell you something about you?

[Lee Syat]

You still can be.

[Kathryn Narducci]

And break. To break it down a little bit from what I think, I think that on top of the hard exterior and the cursing and the fucking motherfucking and you savages and everything, I think that there's a guy underneath that and behind that Whole wall. Who gets on a stage and gives this massive hard exterior. Like, he's so brutal, he's so honest, and he's connecting to all these other hurt people who are hard and these. This macho kind of thing. But I think the connection with you is you also, on top of that, that hard exterior and that wall, I do believe that the real connection is not that. I think that we see through that wall and see that there's a guy behind all that who is actually like this really good guy, this teddy bear, who. You're on stage being a comedian, and you're good at it. These are all your survival skills. And it's also you. You connect with these broken people in a way to your comedy. It's. It's. It's kind of like. What's the word I'm looking for? When you do reverse psychology, you're doing sort of a reverse psychology where you're like, come on, you motherfuckers. And. And you're like. You're using that, but you're connecting in a way where you grab them because they're. They understand. We understand what you're doing. You're good at what you're doing. Like, you're making a connection with these people with that hard exterior.

[Joey Diaz]

This poor bastard.

[Kathryn Narducci]

This guy is having a meltdown behind the scenes.

[Joey Diaz]

Look at this.

[Kathryn Narducci]

He's having a meltdown. No, you really are. You're like this guy that really connects in a way that it's almost like a. It's sort of a. Like a psychology thing that you. Where you come up with the hard exterior, but you're also connecting with people and helping people in a way where it's like, show me you're helping me without showing me you're helping me through your comedy.

[Joey Diaz]

A good way of putting it. And to answer your question from before, yeah, I feel like an actor at times, but the last five or six years, I haven't. Because an actor wants to get out there, whether they pay him a dollar or whether they pay him $10,000.

[Kathryn Narducci]

So does a comedian.

[Joey Diaz]

But the problem the last couple years is the money has gotten so bad and they want you to do weird things that I've just said, you know what? I'll pass.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

So that's why my hesitation. I hesitate. That's why I hesitated. That's why I hesitated answering your question before. That's why I hesitated answering your question.

[Kathryn Narducci]

What about. Are you an actor?

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah. Because I got offered a play and I didn't want to do it.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Why?

[Joey Diaz]

It was in the heart of fucking July. It was a weekend in New Jersey, which I don't know about you. I don't think people go to plays in New Jersey on the fucking weekend in July. Okay, but right away, I don't want you to sound like I was negative off the bat about it. The real reasoning was the time. I like my time at home. I like my time with my daughter. I like being close to her. For the first seven years, I wasn't. I was always doing a podcast or doing something, and I was in her life, but not. And I saw the change when we moved here, because women don't want to be loved. They want to feel secure.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

She doesn't need to hang out with me. She comes down three times a night and go, dead. Are you okay? And then she'll take a water and get right back on the phone. But she comes down and I could see that. So I like being around. Yeah, you know, like, I like being around. I like when she gets home from school. My parents went home when I got home from school. What a fucking horrible existence. In the old days, somebody was always home when you got home from school.

[Kathryn Narducci]

That's called a latchkey kid.

[Joey Diaz]

That's called a what?

[Kathryn Narducci]

Latchkey kid.

[Joey Diaz]

What's that?

[Kathryn Narducci]

That's a kid who lets himself in.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah, I was one of those latchkey.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Nobody's home.

[Joey Diaz]

I wanted to be a latchkey. But not now. Little later. Yeah, a little later. You follow me? There's just so many things, and when you do a play, you have to commit. That's a fucking commitment. You just can't wake up and go, well, today I don't feel like doing it. That's like anything else in life. You committed to something. There's eight people waiting on you. Eight people waiting on you. And, like, again, I'm getting to an age where I wake up in the morning, I may have to go to the Bronx to see you, but I smoke a joint and I change my mind. Yeah, I'll go. That's it. I wanna eat clams today. I don't feel like eating spaghetti. I'm one of those idiots.

[Kathryn Narducci]

You won't go, well, you know what? I have a T shirt that I had made, and it says, I'm not a planner, I'm a canceler. I cancel everything. I make plans and I fucking cancel them. I'm a professional canceler. I'm lucky I'm here today.

[Joey Diaz]

I'm happy you're here, but I'm happy I'm here.

[Kathryn Narducci]

I'm happy. I'M here. I got to meet this whole great. Let me tell you, by the way, people, his behind the scenes crew is the best. The best.

[Joey Diaz]

They get me tonight.

[Kathryn Narducci]

The conversations behind the scenes should have been filmed. It should have been filmed. You missed the gold. The gold.

[Joey Diaz]

The gold was behind the scenes starting on the 8th.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Who's Rudy? Rudy's. You like Rudy's?

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah.

[Kathryn Narducci]

You don't want no nothing but Rudy's. You want no frills, in and out, no small talk. I want to eat. I want to be in and out.

[Joey Diaz]

I told you.

[Kathryn Narducci]

And you only want his chicken cutlets.

[Joey Diaz]

Listen, listen.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Your chicken cut. Your chicken cutlets.

[Joey Diaz]

Oh my God, the best. Listen in today's world, I want you to think where you came from and where you are today. All we have is a little bit of loyalty. But if we become these people that every time. Oh my God, there's a new Nico open. It's great in Sutton. I gotta go to Nico. You know what? Who gave you fucking food on the arm when you were broke that time? And that's what we've all forgotten. Everybody forgets. Everybody wants. We don't eat there. We eat Angelina's in Staten island, you know, running water and all. Leave me the fuck alone. We all grew up. We have one place. That's all you have.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Keep it simple.

[Joey Diaz]

This fucking jerk off goes to a pizza place and all these saps run after him. Dave Portnoy, a skinny fucking Irish kid from Boston. Dave Portnoy. I've never seen a society of such suckers. Because the east coast is made of great pizza. We don't. There's so much good pizza now that if you make bad pizza, you get ousted. So everybody has a different flair to it. So for you to tell me that you're gonna drive two hours to get a slice of pizza or something like that, it just doesn't. It doesn't work for me. Yeah, you grew up eating a.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Well, you're not into the trends. No. And you're not into the gurus and you're not into follower to follower.

[Joey Diaz]

Because this is what follow the follower. This is who got us to the dance. Now you want to be Johnny Bananas and be better. And that's what the problem with us is. Everybody forgets what got him to the fucking dance that got you to the dance for years. And okay, you may be bored, but you better go in there once a month and pay your fucking respects and keep your fucking mouth shut.

[Lee Syat]

To a pizza place.

[Joey Diaz]

Whatever. I didn't grow up in. Listen, I Grew up in Roma, part time. See, you're not from that world, Lead. I'm not. So you would never understand. She grew up in the Bronx. I grew up in Harlem, wherever the fuck you grew up. And there was a thousand fucking places to eat pizza. But there was one that your mother and father went to. And you went there every day, and you went in there after school, and Mr. Nicky whatever, he gave you a slice. He gave you an Italian ice. Your whole life was in there until you went away to college. And when you went to college, no matter where the fuck you went to college, you kept saying, man, I can't wait to go home to get a slice of that fucking pizza. Okay? And you went back home and you got that pizza.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

But now you move to Asbury Park. You know, I like the Sicilian with the whatever. Leave me the fuck alone. Leave me the fuck alone. I get it. But every time you come up. Pay your fucking respects. Pay your fucking respects. We grew up in that fucking place. What the fuck is wrong with people?

[Kathryn Narducci]

Oh, you. So you feel like people are jumping.

[Joey Diaz]

Ships all the time. All the fucking time.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Jumping ship all the time.

[Joey Diaz]

To the hottest restaurant to impress somebody. We went to Lola's. And you know. Shut the fuck up.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Yeah, I get.

[Joey Diaz]

Shut the fuck up.

[Kathryn Narducci]

I get what you're saying.

[Joey Diaz]

Shut the fuck. I just moved from LA, where there's no loyalty. 20 years I sat there, no loyalty, nobody. We went to olney, bro. You're from fucking Jersey. Why are you eating that shit? Oh, because. Because it was good or because.

[Kathryn Narducci]

No, because this one said so.

[Joey Diaz]

Because the forces of B or what is it? Let's tap into what the fuck you're doing. You're not one of these fucking Americans. Why are you acting like them? For 30 years, these Americans fucked you in the ass. Now you want to be like them? Shut that. You eat their lunch. You fucking tell them where they're going to eat you motherfuckers. I'm not going there. I don't care where you 11 people are going. And that shit ends. That shit ends. You have to have something. You have to stand for something, man. And that shit pisses me the fuck off.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Well, you know what?

[Joey Diaz]

It is a simple thing.

[Kathryn Narducci]

You're probably saying, swipe left, swipe left, swipe. There's always something new.

[Joey Diaz]

Swipe. People at home right now going, what the fuck is wrong with him? He's a grown man. You don't know where the fuck I'm coming from. Where I'm coming from is you have to have Something. Yeah, just a little bit of fucking loyalty.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Loyalty.

[Joey Diaz]

Just a little bit. You want to die. Which is, you know, in this fucking rotten world. And it's a loyalty not to Twitter. Yeah, I'm loyal to Instagram. You know, you gotta be loyal to something. We grew up in this place, man. The fuck is wrong with you?

[Kathryn Narducci]

Yeah, but it's the swipe left syndrome.

[Joey Diaz]

Oh, my God, everybody else.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Because there's always something new. You're talking about social media. If you go on social media, there's always an influencer going to a new place where the lines around the corner and everybody's got to get in what they can't have. If there's a line, they want it. If there's no line, it must not be that good. But think about this. You're making a good point. Because years ago, the best places, like say, Rao's or say Patsy's Pizza, when I was growing up, there wasn't any line. It was just a good place on the DL. But they did a great business. They had the loyal. You're talking about neighborhood people supported them. That was it. And that's all we needed. We were happy. You went in, you got a good meal, you went home. No bells and whistles right now. Swipe left, go on social media, the next influencer, who you like is telling you it's like. It's like, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing. It's like a pinball machine. Go here, go there, go there, go there for the best donut. Go there for the best donut. I found the best donut in New York City. They're gluten free. These influencers are brainwashing everybody. We can't have a moment of silence.

[Joey Diaz]

I understand.

[Kathryn Narducci]

We can't have a.

[Joey Diaz]

Cannot brainwash Hudson county people.

[Kathryn Narducci]

We can't have a moment of silence.

[Joey Diaz]

We were raised a little differently. You can't brainwash Bronx people. You can't brainwash old school Brooklyn people. That's the fucking problem, okay? When we're set on something because we were raised. Listen, I'm just a stupid fucking felon spic. But let me tell you an interesting story while we're here. All of us. David Chase wrote a beautiful show called the Sopranos. And he made you the wife of the guy who owned it, partner, Artie Buco.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Artie Bucco.

[Joey Diaz]

Do you remember on that show you had regulars that came in every week? Not six days a week, but they came in once a week and they got the same stupid dish, maybe a different type of bottle of wine. How Many times on the show, did Tony Soprano or Christopher Moltisante say, artie, I know this menu back and forth. It doesn't matter. That's the restaurant I want. I know the menu at Rudy's, back and forth. I know the menu at Osteria, back and forth. We know the menu at fucking Las Blisas, back and forth. You know the menu at the Riverfront, back and forth. You know the menu at Carmine's, back and forth. Ugh, I don't know. You know, you just know you have something that you know it, and that's fine because that's home.

[Kathryn Narducci]

But you know what? I like what you're saying. You really mostly. If you break it down, everything you're saying just comes down to loyalty.

[Joey Diaz]

That's home. Another episode, years later, he talked about it. He goes, artie, in my darkest nights, I was driving home. There was a storm, and we came to you, and you let us in there. There was no power. And that's one of the best nights we had in our life because we were home. People complain that they're depressed, but they ain't got a fucking home. And then they don't want to go home. Yeah, they always want to go somewhere else and always crip, just, you're here. Enjoy it. Shut your fucking mouth and eat the fucking food. Don't drop any fucking Italian names on me. So help me God, I'll hit you with this bottle of vinegar right to the fucking skull. Don't mention who's better. I don't want to hear it. Because right now, at this moment. That's right, it's like the homeless guy. You said today, there ain't no better place than where we're at. So shut your fucking pie hole with that shit. And that's the problem you have.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Yeah, well, it's an overload. It's overloaded. It's an. Oh, I'm telling you, it's the swipe left syndrome. I'm just using that as the metaphor to what I'm talking about. It's like there's always something better. The grass is always greener. Oh, you like that place? But no, try this place. But now that we tried that place, that. That pasta. No, now you got to go here. Now you got to go there. And they'll show you the line around the corner. Because this is what this person, this influencer is saying is good. But you're talking about, like, for that moment, we give that place the love. That's the place. That's the place that's the place the next influencer goes. No, not that place. I found a better place. While you're eating, you're saying, shut up. Enjoy this place now. What do you mean we gotta go to another place now? We just got here.

[Joey Diaz]

It never ends.

[Kathryn Narducci]

It's a swipe left syndrome.

[Joey Diaz]

Never ends.

[Kathryn Narducci]

It's the add swipe left syndrome.

[Joey Diaz]

You know, I live in central New Jersey. Since I've been there, I like two restaurants. Both of them are on like, weird now they've opened up all these restaurants, but last December or December before that, they opened up a message Mexican restaurant that people were having car accidents pulling into.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Huh?

[Joey Diaz]

It was insane. Parking lot. They had cars on top of cars. They had to use the parking lot to the fucking other businesses at night. I never stepped in there. I won't go to those places. Once. They're hopping like that. In the beginning, they're all saps because they go in there under the ether. They're under the ether? Yeah, they go in there. We're all, great, let's take a picture. And they pick up that margarita, not knowing it's $22. And they're just pumping the eat to like Vegas. And now your girls come. And more now. Nachos and chips. Everything sucks.

[Kathryn Narducci]

I'm getting drunk.

[Joey Diaz]

You were drunk. You dropped 300. Now you get home at the fuck and sucking. And you correlate the fucking and sucking with the Mexican bar and the Mexican drinking you went to do the night before. Trust me, the mind works so fucking weird. So you can't wait to go in there again. Then you go in there one night without your girlfriend when you're sober and see if it. Everything sucks dick. Okay, there's no so that's ether.

[Kathryn Narducci]

I get the ether now you get the ether. I get it.

[Joey Diaz]

It's. They suck you right in. They suck you right the fuck up.

[Kathryn Narducci]

It's almost like you're under the influence and right away.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah, you're under the influence.

[Kathryn Narducci]

You're under the influence and you don't even know.

[Joey Diaz]

And then you go in there one day when you're sober. Cause you left your phone the night before. And you walk in there and the waiter's picking his snots, you know what I'm saying? Eating his fucking boogie straight from his nose. That was a great time. Boy, I felt great. Now eating that brisket with the same waiter.

[Kathryn Narducci]

You know, you're right. It's like you go back in and the lights are on and it's just the room with some chairs.

[Joey Diaz]

That's it.

[Kathryn Narducci]

And A chef and some food. It's not the magical place that we're making it out to be. It is right?

[Joey Diaz]

There's an article. Either an article or a book coming out. I read this. The Internet again. I do not know if this is true. I do not know if this is true. Don't quote me. You know. You know how life is.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

Oh, my God. Eight women have gotten together.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Eight women have gotten together.

[Joey Diaz]

8 women.

[Kathryn Narducci]

And what did they do?

[Joey Diaz]

You ready? 8 women who've gotten together from the metropolitan New York scene and they're ready to file a big time lawsuit against the owners of Studio 54 because they got raped there in the 70s and get the fuck outta here. Again. They went down there. Da da da da, da, da, da, da, da. Quailo, Quailo, Quailo, Quailo. Mick Jagger walked in, they sucked his dick. And they remembered it during the pandemic like everybody else did, remember? During the pandemic. Everybody remembered who raped them during the pandemic. They shot Eat their hair. Everybody remember who. Who held their mouth 20 years ago at a fraternity party? Who grabbed your. When you salute the soldiers? You know, everybody remember Register. And it was very interesting. It was very interesting that a woman would wait 50 fucking years. 50 years, eight of them.

[Kathryn Narducci]

What happened to them at Studio 54?

[Joey Diaz]

They say they got raped and sexual. You know, everybody said it was a party. It wasn't for us. It was a night of hell. Steve Lubell took us in the room and whipped us and made us snort coke off his dick. It was horrible. You know, that type of shit. Okay? So for the 2,000 people who went there and said it was the best night of their lives and they did coke, I mean, Bing Crosby was in there. Paul Castellano was in there. Frank Sinatra was in there, okay? But now these eight women say that in 1978 or 77 or 73, that this happened, you know, and it just. It's like, jesus Christ. What the fuck? What the fuck? I don't even know why I brought this up now. Fuck it, we were already high. We might as well bring up some more shit to confuse the fuck out of it.

[Kathryn Narducci]

That pill is kicking in.

[Joey Diaz]

Oh, it kicked in a while. It is. Poor bastard. Me, I'm still. I'd go for two more.

[Lee Syat]

Two more what?

[Joey Diaz]

Two more of these motherfuckers. Why? Why not? It's Monday night. It's Labor Day weekend. You ain't got dick. I ain't got dick going on.

[Kathryn Narducci]

It's Labor Day weekend.

[Joey Diaz]

That's it. This Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday. It's over.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Summer's over.

[Joey Diaz]

It's over.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Wow, that's scary.

[Joey Diaz]

You can't wear white no more.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Shit.

[Joey Diaz]

That's it. You got to put out the dark.

[Kathryn Narducci]

I want to see you do stand up right now.

[Joey Diaz]

No, leave him alone. Please. Leave him alone. Don't bother me.

[Lee Syat]

Leave me alone.

[Joey Diaz]

Leave him right there to sit there. He'll be fine right now once he gets some pizza.

[Kathryn Narducci]

He said one line, though.

[Joey Diaz]

No, leave him alone. Let him get some food, then he'll do stand up, he'll jump up and down for you.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Look at his eyes.

[Joey Diaz]

They're like, yeah, those are Jewish eyes. Now, Duce, did you have a good time shooting out those nights?

[Kathryn Narducci]

I had a great. I really did have a great time. I like being away. I like. I like being out of my environment and on location and not around familiarity, you know? I like shooting in New York because I love New York. I'm a born and raised New Yorker on the island of Manhattan. Not the Bronx, but I do like the Bronx, but I am born and raised in Manhattan. I like shooting there, but I like getting away to shoot films. I like being away on location because then you're not around familiar faces and places. And I feel like when I'm at that point, my imagination is on a much higher level anyway.

[Joey Diaz]

Imagination. Let me ask you something.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Go ahead.

[Joey Diaz]

You ever walk into one of these hotels, you go to your room, you put your shit on the bed and you go, how the fuck did I get here?

[Kathryn Narducci]

When you're working?

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah. Like when I check into the hotel and they're like, hi, Mr. Diaz, welcome. We've had. We have a basket for you. And you're like, these motherfuckers don't know. 10 years I was robbing these baskets. You know what I'm saying? They're like, we got a basket for you. Welcome. The movie welcomes you. And then you go to your room and you sit down. It's a nice room. You got buckets and sodas.

[Kathryn Narducci]

But I gotta tell you, those are my proud moments.

[Joey Diaz]

I understand, but you ever see.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Because I go, shit, man, I earned my frigging way. This little shit cockroach from Harlem earned her way to not a hotel room. I could get myself a hotel room.

[Joey Diaz]

You understand what I'm saying?

[Kathryn Narducci]

I am in this position. But those moments that I'm answering you, how I feel about that are surreal for me and proud moments for me because I'm like, boy, you know my ex, Joe Maruzzo, he's an actor. Too. He said to me, kat, every now and then, every night, my therapist told me, when you're feeling really bad about yourself at night when you're alone and you're about to get in bed, you give yourself a pattern, your own pat. Like, literally, you go like this. You did good today, kid. You do good today, Cat. You give yourself a pat. You tell yourself, you did good. When I walk into a hotel room on location and I go, it's not about, oh, I'm in a hotel room. It could be a shithole hotel room, and I could be doing an independent film for a hundred dollars a day in. In. In Massachusetts. But I still have the same feeling I have, as if I walked into a hotel on a studio film in Hawaii, that you believed in yourself enough and you did the work to get here, and you are here, and you did something good. That's something good. That's the one time I give myself credit and go, don't be hard on yourself. You did something good. Give yourself the pat on the back at the end of the night and say, you did good, Kat. You did good, kid. And I do. I go like that to myself. And I always took that to heart with Joe told me. And when I check into the hotel, wherever it may be for a job specifically, it's better feeling than when I'm on a vacation with family or friends, because I earned that, and I work so hard for that.

[Joey Diaz]

Thank you. Now you know why I don't like fucking vacations. I don't. Like we were talking. That's a different story.

[Kathryn Narducci]

But I earned it.

[Joey Diaz]

You earned it.

[Kathryn Narducci]

I earned that fucking room. I earned this place. I earned my place here. I earned. Welcome, Ms. Narducci. We have a room for you. Thank you. I earned that. It didn't come overnight. I earned that. You know, from my fucking poor beginnings to where I am now. You did good, Kat. Today. You're doing good today. Tomorrow you might not be. When the movie's over, you could be out of work again. Right now, you're checking in to do another movie. You earned.

[Joey Diaz]

You got anything coming up? You've been working lately.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Right now I just have this, the series that I wrote, and I'm hoping to get it done as a movie, which I was just told by somebody that I love and respect that you all know. But I can't say saying that, because I wrote eight episodes of a series of my life, and the person read it and said, it's going to be a movie. So I'm gonna be, like, trying to get that made right now. And hopefully Gotfelder Harlem's coming back for season five.

[Joey Diaz]

No.

[Kathryn Narducci]

And.

[Joey Diaz]

They destroyed it already.

[Kathryn Narducci]

No, no. Come on, give Chris Moncado another chance.

[Joey Diaz]

I love Chris and I love that show. I love that fucking show.

[Kathryn Narducci]

You just weren't crazy about season five.

[Joey Diaz]

There's like three of us that really like that show. And we've all looked at each other and said, what the fuck? It reminded me, you know what it was reminiscent of?

[Kathryn Narducci]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

Miami Vice. Last season of Miami Vice, they were chasing a guy that had Martians. They were doing everything. Remember that? The guy became somebody else. Don Johnson had fucking whatever. He forgot who he was, so he became a renegade drug dealer. You're like, what the fuck happened to Frank Zappa? What happened? And that's what happened. What happened was with that show, the cocaine. But with other shows, you know, this happens. The show is great, the first season, then one motherfucker decides to leave one of the writers. And then the second show is the second season strong, and the third season is stronger because now they're bonding. But usually the fourth and fifth season now, people start using those two years to get bigger and better jobs.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

And now you gotta bring people in. Plus, the executive producers move on to other projects, like Chris did. Chris moved on to that fucking Heartbreak Hotel with those dudes. That wasn't that good.

[Kathryn Narducci]

You know, I never saw it.

[Joey Diaz]

I tried. I tried two episodes. Great cast. But just. It was overdone already.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Was it?

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah, somebody already did that. Okay. And they shot him to the point. And it was, you know, Hiselda. When they released Griselda, they talked about that place. So then he came back and.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Did you mean Griselda Blanco?

[Joey Diaz]

Yes. He didn't do Griselda Blanco. What I'm. Or maybe he did.

[Kathryn Narducci]

No, no, no, that was Captain Zeta Jones.

[Joey Diaz]

No, that was fucking the Spanish girl. She's dating the quarterback from New England. Oh, what's her name? Sofia Vergara played that girl. But the point is that he had.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Oh, yeah, I'm sorry. Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

Once they move on to other shows because. And it happened a ton of shows. A show on abc, David A. Kelly got really hot for a while. Michelle Pfeiffer's husband, I think he is. Oh, yeah, he fucking. They built a studio around that motherfucking Orange County. They built a four studio fucking. Cause the guy had so many projects. David R. Kelly, I think he had, like the one about the two Italian. He had a ton of series on abc. And, you know, after a while, you start moving from show to show you bring your best people and those shows suffer. And that's what happened to Godfather.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Ho.

[Joey Diaz]

And it broke my fuck. I mean, the four episodes was about Bumpy Johnson. Then Bumpy Johnson disappeared. And then you got fucking hit by a car. And then it was like, what the fuck is going on here?

[Kathryn Narducci]

Right?

[Joey Diaz]

So. But I still love it.

[Kathryn Narducci]

I have a question that has nothing to do with the Godfather.

[Joey Diaz]

Harlem. What?

[Kathryn Narducci]

Are you seriously gonna call with me to Empire Casino?

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah, I'd love to go up there.

[Kathryn Narducci]

We need to go to Empire Casino.

[Joey Diaz]

Is it that now? How the fuck. They just told me that gambling got shot down in New York. That. That shit I was talking about is done. Jay Z is bringing a casino to my.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Oh, 42nd Street?

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah, to 42nd Street.

[Kathryn Narducci]

It got shot down.

[Joey Diaz]

Somebody told me the other day that works in the city that he thinks it got shut down. I don't think so.

[Lee Syat]

No, I've heard of it.

[Joey Diaz]

That's still alive.

[Lee Syat]

I've heard of it there and I've heard of it on Coney Island.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Coney Island.

[Lee Syat]

If you see there's a lot of people talking about putting up there.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah. The one I heard about was by Hudson Yards. That's the one that they're gonna have a fucking place as big as the Garden. A casino.

[Kathryn Narducci]

What do you really think that would do to New York City?

[Joey Diaz]

Cripple it?

[Kathryn Narducci]

I don't think it would be good.

[Joey Diaz]

Do you see what's going on in Vegas?

[Kathryn Narducci]

No.

[Joey Diaz]

I spoke to our dear friend today. Said he got to the airport yesterday and he could count how many people were in the airport. And two hands. Vegas on a Sunday. All the hookers are flying out. Strippers, fucking. Everybody's flying in for the week. Conventions. Yeah, they. And what it is, they just. That's it. That's it. People just.

[Lee Syat]

They don't have the money right now.

[Joey Diaz]

They don't have the money.

[Kathryn Narducci]

So Vegas is suffering.

[Joey Diaz]

Oh, go on the Internet tonight when you go home.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Bad now.

[Lee Syat]

Like 70%.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Yeah, 70.

[Joey Diaz]

Oh, my God, they're lying. They're putting free fake numbers. And they're still not. They're still charging the resort fees and the whole thing.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Not a. Not at Empire Casino in Yonkers.

[Joey Diaz]

No, no, no, no.

[Kathryn Narducci]

I get on the Ford train and I get there on the 4 train. I get off in Yonkers, last stop, and I love it.

[Joey Diaz]

What kind of people in there? Top notch.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Beautiful, real people. Beautiful, real people.

[Joey Diaz]

They graduated from otb.

[Kathryn Narducci]

That will go to udi's. What's your restaurant?

[Joey Diaz]

Rudy's Rudy's. No, they won't.

[Kathryn Narducci]

They'll all go to Rudy's.

[Joey Diaz]

What does that say to you? So it's like otb.

[Kathryn Narducci]

It's definitely a rough ground.

[Joey Diaz]

There was nothing. There was nothing like playing hooky and taking the bus to Fort Lee and going to OTB in the city on 181st street in Port Authority.

[Kathryn Narducci]

What kid is cutting school and going otb? You. Holy.

[Joey Diaz]

And we used to cut school to go to the thing in Connecticut. Highlight, too. One of the football coaches. We'd have to drive him up to Connecticut and give us 25 bucks. Cy Lawrence. Heavy sigh.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Wow.

[Joey Diaz]

Oh, yeah. Yeah. I loved all that. My mother took me to, like, my mother was a gambling degenerate, so she took me to Yonkers. That was. Listen, when you go to Yonkers Raceway at night, you got problems.

[Kathryn Narducci]

That's where the casino is.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah, you got problems.

[Kathryn Narducci]

The trotters are right there.

[Joey Diaz]

You go in the daytime, I go.

[Kathryn Narducci]

I go in the day and I leave. I went the other day, 2 o'. Clock. I got on the 4 train. I'm sorry. 1 o'. Clock. I walked into the casino. Like, 2 o'. Clock. I left the casino. 11:30 at night. But I take an Uber home and I take an Uber back to the city.

[Joey Diaz]

Is it still a lot?

[Kathryn Narducci]

That many hours? And I lost track of time. I think I'm coming out. It's 4 o'. Clock. I'm like, what? 12 o' clock at night? I lost my mind.

[Lee Syat]

They have blackjack and stuff there.

[Kathryn Narducci]

They have the virtual blackjack, you know, it's a big screen with this, like, virtual pretty girl, you know? I do slots.

[Joey Diaz]

Me, too. I'm a slot, dude.

[Kathryn Narducci]

I love it.

[Joey Diaz]

$20 and let it roll another 20. Then you got to go back to the ATM. We gotta go take a 20.

[Kathryn Narducci]

No, I was all around the casino.

[Joey Diaz]

Oh, yeah. And they charge you 18. And then you get home and you bought a fucking property in Russia. Get the fuck out of here. I don't use an ATM anywhere but where I go bank. Because next thing you know, you bought a boat in Puerto Rico. You're over there. That's fucking Yonkers, dog. They got that shit walk wired.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

And when they take your number and one day, they just make a sweep.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

And you bought a plane. You know, you don't need that in your life.

[Kathryn Narducci]

I love Yonkers Casino.

[Joey Diaz]

Oh, my God.

[Lee Syat]

What slot do you like?

[Kathryn Narducci]

I take this. What?

[Lee Syat]

What slot do you like?

[Joey Diaz]

I like.

[Kathryn Narducci]

I like this one. It's called it's called. What is it? Mayan Chiefs.

[Lee Syat]

Okay.

[Kathryn Narducci]

It's a Mayan chief. And I like this other one. Slate dragon, sleigh. And then one other is. It's called like. My nickname is Kitty.

[Lee Syat]

Okay.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Some people call me Kitty and I like the kitty cat. It's like a cat that comes. If you hit it, the cat comes out. Meow, meow. Goes around and drops the money.

[Lee Syat]

Dude.

[Kathryn Narducci]

It drops the money. It's like a whole movie I'm watching. It drops the money, it waves to you. And I'm like, kitty, I love it.

[Lee Syat]

There's people who like live stream themselves playing slots at casinos. I would pay to watch you play this. Like. Cuz I do you like smack the screen?

[Kathryn Narducci]

Oh, I punch it.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah.

[Lee Syat]

Oh, I knew it.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah, you. I shake it.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Yeah, I love it.

[Lee Syat]

I love people and like, how do you pick a machine? I love gambling.

[Kathryn Narducci]

How many of those pills did you take?

[Lee Syat]

Not enough.

[Joey Diaz]

Not enough. Trust me. He needs two more like me.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Want to go to casino right now?

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah. Take them. Sure. Take him. He got nothing going on tomorrow. He'll be fine.

[Kathryn Narducci]

I got to tell you, the ferry coming here was unbelievable. You know, it's crazy. You say you're bored. What could we do? You either go out to eat, you go to a movie, you. I go to galleries because I'm an artist and I like to look at art. That's always good for me. May not be good for everybody. I like that you go to a movie, but then you think about the other things that you don't do. Taking the ferry here, now that's just that ferry. New York to Weehawken. Right, Right. Okay. But you can just get on the ferry. The. There's like $10 ferries that go around the city. That's such a nice thing to do on a beautiful day.

[Joey Diaz]

On a beautiful day.

[Kathryn Narducci]

It was. It cleared my head from here to the city. What was it, 15 minutes?

[Joey Diaz]

Eat one of those edibles and get on the ferry. It'll really clear your fucking head.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Yeah.

[Joey Diaz]

You think you're Gilligan out there? You end up.

[Kathryn Narducci]

I'd rather have a little. I call. What do they call them? Little baseball bat. You know, the pre roll.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah, the pre roll.

[Kathryn Narducci]

I like a nice little pre roll. All right, But I like. I don't like. I like. I like indica.

[Joey Diaz]

There should be something in the draw.

[Kathryn Narducci]

I don't like when you get back on the.

[Joey Diaz]

No, I'll take an Uber on the.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Way because I'm already hyper. Sativa makes me more hyper. I like indica.

[Joey Diaz]

I can tell you already hyper.

[Kathryn Narducci]

I'm hyper in this bitch.

[Joey Diaz]

Katherine, I'm happy that you came over tonight. That was great.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Me too.

[Joey Diaz]

We had a good time. You look beautiful, as usual.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Thank you.

[Joey Diaz]

You're still a fucking savage. I congratulate you.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Thank you.

[Joey Diaz]

On everything, especially alto nights. I really liked it. He gives all his money to the Bhutan's. Ask him. And Lee, what's going on with you this week?

[Lee Syat]

August 30th, I'm at the Barbershop DV Barbershop in Hoboken again for two shows.

[Joey Diaz]

Oh, shit. Look at you. Yep. And we'll be at. I'll be at the open mic Wednesday, Thursday, we got the bucket. And tickets go on sale tomorrow for Parks Casino the night before Thanksgiving. Oh, that's always a good night.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Oh, that's the best night.

[Joey Diaz]

Best night ever. Different lineup, different crew. Come on down, you can gamble, man.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Wait, where could I gamble and see you?

[Joey Diaz]

Parks Casino in Philadelphia.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Where at?

[Joey Diaz]

And Ben. Ben Tellza.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Is it a good casino?

[Joey Diaz]

Whatever the it is? I don't know. Yeah, we just did this last week. I'll pick you up, we'll drive you down.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Oh, shit.

[Joey Diaz]

He's got the Tesla. So be careful. He's got the computer in the front seat and shit.

[Kathryn Narducci]

Does it drive by itself?

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah. Anyway, I love you, Kathryn. Lee, I love you. That and tickets also went on sale for November 8th in D.C. i think. And December 5th in Virginia. I don't know. I don't even have a webpage.

[Lee Syat]

We're in Maryland and Virginia. One in November, Number one in December.

[Joey Diaz]

Yeah. And then. But we're in Florida next week, and that's all that matters. September 6th, Hard Rock Live. Friday night, it's Casey and the Sunshine Band. You know what I'm saying?

[Kathryn Narducci]

Do a little dance, Take a little get down tonight.

[Joey Diaz]

Bring the fucking Quaaludes. Bring whatever you got. Glue? I don't give a fuck. It's K.C. he's only got two songs. You'll be jumping up and down for an hour.

[Kathryn Narducci]

What's the other one? Cause I'm your boogeyman.

[Joey Diaz]

Oh, yeah. Boogeyman. So he'll do like a trio. Boogeyman. Something else. I go do a. This is a new song. Listen, KC don't play no new songs, all right? Coke ain't even the same anymore. You got one song, just stick to it for an hour. Do a little dance, make a little love. Let down the night. Come on, keep going. Keep going. K.C. that's it. I love you motherfuckers. Have a great week. Stay black and God bless you and your families. Cocksuckers.